


His Forever Flame

by mtngirlforever



Series: The Halsteads [2]
Category: Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-06-05 20:33:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 68
Words: 191,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6722368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtngirlforever/pseuds/mtngirlforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jay Halstead and OC. They have a past & maybe a present if they can get past all the hurt. Jay will discover she is his old & new flame; maybe his forever flame. Predominately CPD and Halstead but crosses over with CFD and Severide & Shay and CMED and Will & Natalie A LOT!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is posted on Fan Fic as well. All my stories are. Hope you enjoy this AU story!

Lauren Severide sat in the Chicago café staring at the man she had not seen in five years. She still couldn’t believe it had been that long. The years had been good to him though. He still looked just as handsome as she remembered; maybe a little bit more fit and muscular but still just has handsome.

His face that was always smiling, was not smiling now. He was hiding any emotion he might be feeling but, she understood. The butterflies fluttering around in her stomach let her know that she was extremely nervous, but she tried to hide it.

“What are you doing here, Lauren?” he finally asked. She had been trying to get past the small talk for the last hour, but he just kept asking meaningless questions. She was glad he finally asked.

“I came back for you.”

He snorted. Yep, he was officially over her she thought, and her heart broke a little at the thought. She never stopped loving him in the five years they’d been apart, but maybe he’d stopped loving her. “Oh, please. You think I really believe that?” he asked. “Besides I know you’ve moved on. I’ve seen you with him. More. Than. Once.” He slowly said it so she would get his meaning.

“I never knew you came to Tennessee,” she said.

He smirked. “I never let you know after I saw you with him,” he sneered.

She sighed. She knew it would take a lot of convincing for him to believe it was just a friendship he had apparently witnessed, but right now she felt hopeless and dejected. “Why don’t you just go back to the apartment with your brother, catch the first plane back to Tennessee, and forget you ever knew me. That would be for the best.”

“I don’t believe you,” she said.

“Yea, well believe this. I have moved on, and this conversation isn’t going anywhere.” He threw some money on the table as he stood up to go.

“Jay, wait. You have to remember. You can’t just say you’ve moved on like it was nothing. I know you love me, and I’m going to prove to you that we still have that chance of forever.” She had tears running down her face; she pulled a ring out her pocket and was fixing to put it on when Jay just shook his head as he turned and walked away.

He couldn’t stand to see that ring or the tears running down her face so he left. That’s what she was good at, so he figured it would work for him too. But she was right about two things; he did remember and he did still love her. But from what he’d seen in Tennessee, she moved on, and never gave him a backwards glance. It hurt like hell leaving her in that café, but if she was serious about wanting another chance with him, she was going to have to prove it. And he hoped she did just that.


	2. Back Story

**5 years ago** ….

 _He had no idea who she was or where she came from, but she was smoking hot. She walked, no more like swayed, into the bar with Kelly Severide. He assumed she was Kelly’s date, and Kelly was one lucky sonofabitch if she was because she was smoking. For whatever reason Jay could not take his eyes off her. Every time she moved, every time he heard her laugh, every time she did_ anything _his eyes were drawn to her._

_Damn why did he have to be underage. He was dying for a drink he couldn’t have. His brother sitting on his right side had wanted bar food even though Jay couldn’t drink, but he hadn’t been paying Will any attention in the last 15 minutes since she’d walked into the bar._

_Lauren felt his eyes on her the minute she walked in. She couldn’t believe Kelly had talked her into coming to a bar with him. She wasn’t even 18 yet, but Kelly promised her it would be fine. She was in Chicago for the entire summer, and she figured since she would be staying with him, she needed to adjust to his lifestyle._

_She could hear her mother’s objections clear as day, but Lauren pushed those thought out of her mind as she listened to the conversation swirling around her. She was still trying to learn the names’ of all of Kelly’s friends, but it was proving difficult; especially when she constantly felt a pair of eyes on her._

_Finally, she decided to go up to him and see what was his problem. She used to be shy, quiet, never venture out into the unknown, but ever since she found her life had been a lie, she was becoming more vocal and opinionated. She found she actually enjoyed venturing out some, especially since it drove her mother crazy._

_She walked up to the bar where he was sitting. He never saw her coming because he’d turned back to hear what Will was saying. He hadn’t really focused on the conversation, but from what he gathered Will was talking about med school again. That’s all Will dreamed about. He was a senior in college and was planning to move to med school as soon as he graduated. Jay on the other hand, avoided med school like the black plague and joined the Army. He was on leave right now because he was fixing to join the Rangers and begin his training. He had until August to spend time with his friends and family before he would be off to Fort Benning to begin training._

_When he felt a hand on his back, he stiffened. He could tell it was a feminine hand, but he didn’t know who it belonged to. He turned to look at the hottie he’d had his eye on all night._

_“Hi. I’m Lauren Severide,” she said in her cute little voice. God everything about her was cute and sexy Jay thought. It was only after he introduced himself that he realized her last name was Severide too._

_“Are you related to Kelly?” he asked. He could only hope she was, and she wasn’t a wife Kelly had hidden away._

_“Yes actually I am. I’m his sister. I just found out about him and he about me over Easter. I live in Tennessee so this is the first time I’m actually getting to visit him.”_

_Jay swallowed his tongue. She couldn’t be his age; she looked younger than him, but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. “I just wondered why you’ve been staring all night.”_

_And that did it for him. He was gone, totally smitten with her. “Umm… well…. I...” He didn’t know what to say. He could hear Will laughing on his other side, and he wanted to smack him, but he knew that was not possible at the moment. About that time Kelly came wandering over._

_“Well there you are Sis.” That was still taking her some time to get used too. “Sis” one word was all it took for her to feel protected and loved. She’d always wished she had an older brother and now she did. She was just hoping he wasn’t fixing to ruin her chance with this good looking guy. Because when he wasn’t checking her out, she had been checking him out too._

Jay was lying in bed replaying that scene over and over in his head. He’d been 20 and she was 17 on the verge of 18. Before she walked away that night she’d given him her number and asked him to call.

_Jay waited an entire week before he called her. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do or not since he’d be leaving in a few months, but he never regretted it. They’d spent a lot of time together that summer. They’d grown close and were officially dating a month after they’d met. Kelly had been overprotective at first, but Lauren had managed to convince him she knew what she was doing._

_By July, Jay was head over heels in love with her. He knew though that come August 1 st he would be going to Fort Benning and she would be returning to Tennessee. They’d enjoyed every moment possible together. They’d talked about the future; what they wanted and how their wants lined up almost perfectly. After the Rangers, he wanted to settled down and have a family. She wanted to finish college and do the same. _

_One hot July night, July 4 th to be exact, he’d taken her out to a nice restaurant on the river. You could see the Chicago skyline and the fireworks over the river from their table. They’d promised their love to each other; promised they were going to wait for each other. He’d even given her a promise ring that had their names inscribed on the front and their date on the inside. He’d taken her back to his apartment where he’d made sweet love to her all night long. He’d been her first. It was the first night she stayed over. After that, they were inseparable. She stayed over every night after that until it was time to pack up. _

_She’d cried all day while they were both packing. She didn’t want to leave him, but she didn’t have a choice. She had to return to Tennessee to her mother and finish high school. He was due at Fort Benning at 0900. He’d gone to the airport with her to say goodbye. He was in his Army fatigues so everyone stopped him to offer their thanks for his service. He didn’t think he was ever going to be able to hold her or say goodbye._

_She said goodbye to Kelly first. Of course their dad was nowhere around because he still had nothing to do with her, but Kelly wanted that relationship with his sister. Jay could hear her cries from where he was. She didn’t want to leave Kelly either, but Kelly promised he’d come visit and she could come up whenever she wanted. He’d promised to stay in touch, talk on the phone everyday if she wanted._

_Finally, he heard Kelly tell her she needed to say goodbye to him. Jay’s heart was breaking inside. He didn’t want to say goodbye either, but their paths were already set before they met. But if she could wait, they’d be together again. That goodbye was the hardest goodbye Jay had ever had to say. They both cried and promised to stay in touch. She was wearing her ring, and Jay professed his undying love and so did she. Finally she boarded the plane and headed back to Tennessee._

She didn’t know that in the five years they’d been apart that Jay had been to Tennessee; had seen her with him. He didn’t know his name, but she looked happy, and that was enough to keep Jay away.

_They’d stayed in touch some the first year. When Jay got his first leave after graduating from training, he’d called Kelly and asked for her address; he wanted to surprise her. Sadly, he was the one surprised when he saw her with another guy laughing and having the time of her life. He’d returned to Tennessee two other times, and both times he’d seen her with him. He’d been angry and hurt, so he threw himself into his work as a staff sergeant in the Rangers; he tried everything possible to forget her. He still got emails from her from time to time asking how he was, where he was, if he was ever going to respond to her, and every time he never did. He never stopped loving her, but he thought she’d moved on._

Now she was in Chicago, exactly five years almost to the day since they’d met, saying she was here for him. He was 25, she almost 23, and she was back for him. He didn’t want to believe it because then he might have to admit he’d been wrong about her moving on. He’d accepted the pain of that, but he didn’t think he could go through it all again.

 

Across town, Lauren was lying in her brother’s guest room, playing over the same scenes Jay had been. She didn’t know what had happened when he stopped replying to her emails four years ago. She knew he was still alive because Kelly would tell her he would see him from time to time when he was in town. Then last year, Kelly called to tell her that he was back in Chicago for good. He’d taken a job with Chicago PD and been bumped to a detective fairly quickly. Now he worked in the city’s elite Intelligence unit.

She wasn’t surprised. He was smart, resourceful, and had all the Army training to make him one hell of a detective. What she didn’t know was why he’d come to Tennessee without seeing her, why had he stopped replying to her emails. She wanted those answers today, but he never gave her the chance to ask. And then he spouted off some nonsense about her moving on, and the only thing she could think of was he must have seen her with Wes. He assumed they were together, but really Wes was just her best friend.

He’d helped her cope when she would receive emails saying Jay was deployed overseas. He’d held her while she cried when she would watch the news and wait to see if she would be getting a call saying Jay was dead. He let her stay at his house when she couldn’t handle the hell she was put through at her mom’s. He was just her best friend, but Jay must have seen them and thought differently. That was the only explanation she could come up with as to why he stopped communicating with her.

Well, that was not how she worked, and she was going to prove to him all summer how wrong he’d been. She had a deadline, again, just like five years ago. She hated it, but her mother still held it over her head. She had to return to finish college. They were paying for it, and she had no choice. This was the first summer she’d not had any classes. She’d been working her butt off to graduate so she could return to Chicago and make her life with Jay. Now, she realized, if she couldn’t convince him that she still loved him then she would have worked hard for nothing.

And that thought just made her sick. She decided to get up and get a drink. She wasn’t a drinker, but sometimes she needed liquid courage to take the edge off. She knew Kelly had beer in the fridge, but she was praying he had whiskey or vodka tucked away in a cabinet. She needed the hard stuff if she was going to get any sleep tonight. Kelly and Shay were at work, and she was alone in the apartment. It was still taking some getting used to being back in the city with all the noise and lights, and it was messing with her head as she tried to sleep. She’d been in the city a couple of days, and was thinking she was used to it enough to sleep alone now, but after her meeting with Jay today, she knew she wouldn’t be going to sleep without the aid of some alcohol.

Because every time she closed her eyes all she could see was the hurt in Jay’s eyes as he left the café today. And that just broke her heart over and over to think she’d unintentionally hurt him when all she did was love him. She had a mess she needed to fix, but she only had 3 months to do it. August 1st loomed over her head just like it did five years ago, and with that thought she turned the vodka bottle up and took a big drink.


	3. Confronting Jay

It’d been two weeks since Lauren had met Jay in that little café. Two long weeks. She’d tried calling, texting and emailing him every day, and every day she never got a response. She’d gone out with Kelly on his days off. They’d hang out with their friends, do things around the city he knew she loved doing, or stay in and watch movies. Hell, she’d even had a girls’ night with Shay and Gabby, but the light never reached her eyes.

She was happy, no doubt, because she was always happy anytime she was in Chicago with Kelly, but she wasn’t truly happy. Finally, Kelly had seen enough of her just waiting around. She’d been doing that for five years, and it was five years too long in his opinion. Oh sure, he understood Halstead’s side of it, but this was his little sister & she deserved the chance to explain to him what he thought he saw every time he’d visit without telling her. So Kelly offered her the only suggestion he knew to help her.

“Why don’t you go see him at the station? At least then you’d get a response.” Lauren shrugged.

“Yeah I guess I could, but what is he says no, Kel? What if he doesn’t want to hear me out?”

“Then you pick yourself back up and move on. I know you say Wes is just a friend, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you Sis. That guy loves you.” Again, Lauren just shrugged. Kelly might think that, but her feelings went no further than really good/best friends. “Just think about it, Sis. All he can say is no, and if he does then he’s a bigger idiot than I thought & he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I’ll think about it,” was her response. And she did. She thought about it all day until she decided Kelly was right. She was tired of waiting for him to answer her calls, text, and emails. She would just go get the answer straight from the horse’s mouth as her Memaw would say.

 

 

The next day, Jay was working on paperwork from the case they had just closed, when he looked up to see Platt standing in front of his desk. “Yes?” he asked tentatively.

“You have a visitor downstairs. Said she needs to see you.” Jay racked his brain, but drew a blank as to who it could be since he wasn’t expecting anyone. “I’ll be right down,” he said as Platt turned to leave. He ignored the questioning look Erin sent him, and bounded down the steps.

He was a little surprised to find Lauren standing there when he reached the bottom. She looked nervous as hell. Usually she was confident and sure of herself even if on the inside she didn’t feel it, but standing there waiting for him, she appeared jittery, nervous and a little scared. He figured when he ignored her endless calls, texts, and emails that she would have given up. But no, not her; she never gave up until she got what she wanted, and he loved that about her. ‘Ok so not going there’ he thought as he continued closer to her.

“Hey,” he said. She nearly jumped ten feet in the air when he spoke so close to her. He reached out to reassure her, and she seemed to settle just a little. “Hey,” she said back. “What are you doing here, Lauren?”

“I… uh… I… um… I came here to see you. You’ve ignored all my calls, texts, and emails, so I figured the only way to get you to talk to me would be to catch you here.” Jay shrugged. “Look, Jay, I don’t want to have this conversation here,” she said as she looked at the cops trying to appear un-interested in their conversation. “It’s not the time or the place. We both owe each other explanations for the last five years, and I want you to hear me out, and vice versa. So please, just, give me the chance.” She was practically begging, and Lauren rarely begged, unless he was in the middle of driving her crazy, and then she begged. ‘Right, not going there,’ Jay silently reminded himself.

Looking at the pleading look on her face had the walls around his heart starting to crack. He couldn’t say no to her; he’d never been able to before, and it didn’t look like he was going to be able to now. “Fine. But I pick the day, time, and place.” If he was going to have to endure this conversation, it was going to be on his terms. “Fine,” she said.

“How about Friday night? We’re supposed to work only half a day.”

“Friday is good with me.”

“Okay, I’ll uh…. I guess I can pick you up. You’ll be . . . ?” He started to ask if she would staying with Kelly, but honestly he had no idea where she stayed when she would come to the city.

“I’ll be at Kelly’s, like always, when I’m in the city.” Jay blew out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Lauren was far from a city girl, and he hated the idea of her staying in a hotel, so her answer calmed him. He knew Kelly would always look out for his little sister.

“Right,” he finally said. “Um… say 6? And dress… well…. Hell just dress nice. I have no idea where we’re going yet, but dress nice to be safe.” He was entertaining the idea of taking her to her favorite restaurant, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle that yet or not.

“Okay,” she said, and before anything else could be said, Erin came up behind him. “Let’s go,” she practically growled. Jay figured she didn’t elaborate because to her, he was just talking to a civilian so he nodded at her as she continued out the door.

“I’ll… uh… call if anything changes,” he said. Lauren nodded as Jay turned and ran out the door after his partner.

 

Lauren returned to Kelly’s with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. It wasn’t much progress, but at least he’d agreed to hear her out. Even if it ended up going horribly wrong, at least she could spend one evening with him for old time’s sake. She had three days to play out every possible scenario all the while praying it worked out for the better.

Kelly and Shay were both at work. They’d gone in at midnight last night, and wouldn’t be off until midnight tonight. She text him anyways letting him know she’d be going out Friday. He hadn’t responded, so he was either sleeping or out on a call. Either way he would respond when he got the chance, and she hoped he was happy for her.

Lauren curled up on the couch and decided to watch her favorite movie, _Sweet Home Alabama._ She didn’t realize how exhausted she felt until the movie started. About halfway through, she drifted off to sleep. Her dreams were of happier times with Jay and subconsciously, she was hoping Friday resulted in getting her man back.


	4. The Talk

Friday night rolled around and Lauren was so nervous. She had no idea what to wear and, she had torn her closet apart twice. Kelly had given up trying to help her and called Shay. She’d gone out shopping and promised she would be back before now, but she wasn’t. When she answered she told Kelly she was pulling in and to chill out.

Once Shay unloaded her bags, she’d bought clothes for herself and Lauren, she helped Lauren decide on a red strapless dress she’d bought for her. The dress fell to mid-calf and looked absolutely stunning on Lauren. The red complimented her dark hair and tan and made her stand out. If nothing else, Shay was making sure Lauren would knock him dead.

By 5:30 Lauren was pacing the living room. Kelly couldn’t take it anymore and pulled her down beside him. “It is going to be okay, Sis!”

“I know, I know. I just… I’m afraid it’s not going to work out like I want.”

“It’ll work out like it’s supposed to. It’s not going to be easy and you’re not going to be able to pick up where you left off five years ago, but you’ll make it work.”

Lauren nodded and about that time there was a knock on the door. “Crap! He’s early.” Kelly chuckled as he went to get the door. Halstead was waiting on the other side. Once he entered the apartment, he didn’t know what to say. Lauren was absolutely stunning in that dress, and she was just as beautiful, if not more so, that he remembered. It was definitely going to be a long night he thought.

Lauren was extremely self-conscious and couldn’t stand him just staring at her. “So, um… are you ready to go?”

“Oh… uh…. Yea of course. I made reservations for 6:15.”

“Oh, ok. Umm… do I need to change? Am I over or under dressed?”

“No. No, you’re perfect.” He let it slip before he remembered he was supposed to be protecting his heart from her. A blush crept up her cheeks at the comment. “Thank you,” she whispered as she walked passed him. She gave Kelly a hug and told him not to wait up. Kelly snorted at her and said, “Jay, take care of her.” He said it as a warning, and Lauren smacked him as she walked on out the door. Jay nodded his understanding and followed her out.

When they got downstairs, she saw his bike parked out front. “Oh, no, no, no,” she said. I am not riding the bike in a dress.”

“Well, it’s a nice night, and I thought you might enjoy the ride. I know you used to love it.” Deep down he’d just been looking for an excuse to have her close to him.

“I do still love it, but I’m in a dress.”

“So what? Never stopped you before,” he challenged remembering one particular summer afternoon that involved a hot day, Lauren, his bike and a tight skirt. Of course she blushed almost the color of her dress as she too remembered that day.

“Fine, you win this one,” she conceded. Jay smiled as he climbed on. Feeling her climb on behind him and wrap her arms around him, made him realize he was just going to be torturing himself all night long. He turned to give her a helmet and saw that her dress had rode up to just above her knees. Yeah, he was definitely out to torture himself. Oh well, she deserved to be able to tell her side, and he wanted to feel her wrapped around him again, so he would suffer through it for one last ride because he was dead set on not changing his mind.

Lauren had no idea where they were going, and she was especially surprised when they pulled up at the restaurant on the river. She was shocked Jay had picked it since it was the place he’d given her the promise ring. She was wearing it, but she didn’t think he’d noticed.

When Lauren just kept sitting on the bike, Jay cleared his throat and said, “I figured you’d enjoy eating here again. I know how much you used to love this place, and I didn’t think you would have eaten here in the last five years.”

He was right. Kelly had tried taking her here once, and after a complete meltdown, they’d gone back to the apartment and ordered pizza. Kelly never tried that place with her again. When Jay saw tears gathered in her eyes, he knew he was in trouble because he couldn’t stand to see her cry. “Ah, hell,” he said as he pulled her from the bike and into a hug. “Shhh… It’ll be okay. If… uh… if you want to go somewhere else we can.”

Lauren shook her head no as she tried to pull it together. “No, no this is fine,” she promised. Once she had stopped sniffling, Jay let her go. She immediately missed his warmth and smell, but she had to get over it if she was going to get through the night. She pulled herself together the rest of the way, and they went on in.

After they had ordered, Lauren worked up the nerve to ask, “Why did you come to Tennessee without seeing me? Why didn’t you give me the chance to explain?” Jay was quiet for so long that Lauren didn’t think he was going to answer.

“When I pulled up outside the house and saw you laughing and having fun with another guy, I was jealous. I didn’t understand how you could be emailing and skyping me but be with someone else. So I told myself to let it go and just cut back on how much we talked. I thought that if you were happy, who was I to stop you from being happy when I couldn’t be with you. I came back about six months later before I deployed, and you were still with him and still looked happy. I decided then that I needed to let you go, so I quit replying all together. Oh, I still got every single one of your emails, but I thought you were just putting on an act for me. After my second tour, I stopped in Tennessee one more time. It’d been three years since we’d seen each other, and that had been the worst deployment ever; even worse than basic. I just wanted to see you, hold you again. When I got there, you were having, I guess, a family thing with his family or something. I was done. I wasn’t going to keep hanging on to a dream that apparently I was never going to have. You looked happy and I wasn’t going to stop you from being happy. I knew when I came by that I wasn’t okay, and I didn’t want to bring you down with me.”

Lauren had tears pouring down her face. She hurt because she’d unintentionally hurt him; she’d made him think she didn’t want him, she didn’t love him anymore without even knowing it.

“Jay, how’d you find me in Tennessee?” Before he could answer, their food came. Lauren wiped the tears from her face, but she wasn’t hungry anymore. She pushed food around on her plate waiting for him to answer.

“The first time I came I asked Kelly for your address. I was going to surprise you. I just used the same address the other two times I came.” It was then that Lauren realized how Jay had seen her with Wes every time.

“Jay, I need to explain.” At Jay’s nod she continued, “First, his name is Wes, and despite what you think, he is just my best friend.” He started to interrupt her, but Lauren put her hand up to stop him. “No, please, just let me talk.” When Jay nodded again she went on.

“Wes knows all about you. We were friends even before I came to Chicago. He’s the only one who knows the whole truth about my life. When I came back, I was a mess. I didn’t want to do anything with anyone. I went to school, but I was just going through the motions. I couldn’t stand being without you, and things at home sucked. Mom and Michael fought all the time, mainly about me. Wes’s parents were so good to me. They would let me stay over anytime I needed just so I could escape. I gave Kelly Wes’s address so he could mail me things; mainly just so he could mail me money because mom would intercept anything from Chicago so I couldn’t get it. Kelly knew this, and I’m going to kill him for not telling you that beforehand.”

Jay interrupted her this time. “I don’t think I really gave him much time to explain anything. Once I had your address, I said thanks and hung up before Kelly could say anything else.”

“Oh,” Lauren whispered. “Anyways, Wes would let me cry on his shoulder and talk about you for hours on end. Every time some news report would talk about soldiers overseas, he would stay with me. He never wanted me to be alone if I ever got a call from Will telling me you had been hurt or had died. Every time Kelly would tell me he’d seen you around town, Wes would try to come up with an explanation as to why I hadn’t heard from you. And I know by now it doesn’t really matter, the damage is already done, but I felt you deserved to hear the truth from me. Wes is just a friend. Yes, he now owns that house and lives on his own, and yes I still stay there from time to time, but he is nothing more to me than a friend.”

Jay was silent. He didn’t know what to say because he felt like such a dumbass. She whispered so quietly he barely heard her; “I still love you, Jay. Do you think you could ever forgive me?” She looked so hopeful sitting there in the dim lighting of the restaurant. She didn’t realize it, but she was spinning her ring on her finger. Jay noticed and couldn’t believe she still wore it.

She deserved so much more than him, but she said she still loved him. Deep down he knew he still loved her. He still hurt thinking about the three times he’d seen her with Wes. They’d looked so happy and in love. They looked just like what he’d imagined he and Lauren had looked like in Chicago. He didn’t know if he could go through the pain of losing her again if he allowed his heart to admit his love for her. If she went back to Tennessee, and he knew at some point she had to, he didn’t know how he’d handle her and Wes even though she said they were just friends. It was a lot of “what ifs” and his heart was at stake here damn it!

When Jay was quiet for too long she said, “I’s ok, I understand. I’m just gonna go.” He loved when her Southern accent shined through as she talked. He didn’t want to let her go, so before she could stand he grabbed her hand. “Don’t go,” he said. He couldn’t stand to see her leave knowing she was upset because of him. “I was the dumbass all those years ago. You have nothing to be sorry for Lauren. I should be asking, no begging, for your forgiveness.”

Lauren was quiet for a minute. “I just need to know if there is a chance for us, Jay. Can we start over and build towards the future we talked about? The future we wanted together? Because I still want it with you.”

Jay nodded. “I think we can.” During and after her speech, he realized what a complete and total dumbass he’d been. His walls had crumbled when he thought she was going to leave. He decided that very minute that he couldn’t stand living without her any longer. Even if it ended in heartbreak again, he knew having her for a short time was better than not having her at all. He was kidding himself if he thought he could ever resist her.

The smile that lit up her face at his words made his night. He just wanted her to be happy, and if he still did it for her, then he was one lucky sonofabitch. Because she definitely still did it for him.

Finally, Lauren was able to start eating. Now that the hard part was over, she was able to find her appetite again. They spent the remainder of the meal talking about things from the last five years. He talked about the Rangers, but not deployments, and what it was like working in Intelligence. She talked about college and how things at home weren’t great, but for the most part it was bearable. She talked about how Benny still didn’t want anything to do with her, saying she wasn’t really his daughter, even though DNA proved she was.

The years slowly seemed to melt away, but Lauren was keeping one secret from Jay. She never mentioned that come August 1st she had to return to Tennessee. It seemed too déjà vu ish for tonight, and since they had made great progress, she decided to just tell him later. She just hoped it didn’t come back to bite her in the ass.


	5. The Date part 1

It’d been two weeks since Jay and Lauren had talked. They’d hung out some in those two weeks; they’d had movie night at Jay’s, they’d gone to Molly’s, they’d strolled through the park, but Jay had been swamped with a case and he felt like he was neglecting her. He felt he wasn’t spending enough time with her.

Lauren promised he wasn’t and that is was perfectly okay, but Jay thought differently. He thought he should be treating her like a princess instead of just casually seeing her when he caught a small break.

So they finally wrapped up the case on Thursday, and Voight had given them the weekend off for all the hard work and over time they’d put in over the last two weeks. Jay knew Kelly was off, and Lauren was spending some time with him and Shay, so he sent her a text asking if she wanted to spend Friday with him. He went ahead and told her he had the weekend off in case she wanted to spend the whole weekend.

It wasn’t long before he got a reply. “ **Yes! Absolutely! Do I need to pack a bag for the entire weekend? ;)”** Jay chuckled. That was the response he was hoping for, but he wasn’t pushing it on her.

“ **If you want. I’ll pick you up in the morning say 8:30?”**

“ **Yea. That’ll be good. What should I wear/pack?”**

Jay checked the radar before replying. He had an idea, but he wanted to make sure the weather was going to cooperate. “ **It’s going to be cool in the morning, but warm up by lunch. It’s supposed to be pretty all weekend. Thought maybe we could take the bike out & spend the weekend away?” **

“ **I’d love that :) do you still have my bike jacket?”**

“ **Yes, it’s in my closet with mine. I’ll get it out and bring it.”**

**“Thanks! :)”**

**“No problem. I think I’m going to bed. This case has worn me out.”**

**“Ok that’s fine I understand. Sweet dreams. :)”**

Jay didn’t even respond before he was fast asleep.

 

“Hey, Kel, I won’t be here tomorrow or tomorrow night. Maybe not even all weekend.” Kelly raised his eyebrows at that but waited to see if she was going to explain. When she didn’t he said, “Ok, that’s fine. I go in at midnight tomorrow night so I planned on sleeping all day anyways.” At Lauren’s nod he decided to ask since she didn’t seem to be offering any details. “Where will you be?”

“Jay has the weekend off, and asked if I wanted to spend the day with him tomorrow. I more or less asked if I could spend the whole weekend.” Kelly was a little surprised that she was being so bold, especially since he’d seen her heartbreak, but if this is what she wanted, then Kelly was going to support her.

“Good for you girl. Get your man back,” Shay said. Kelly scowled her because he knew what Shay was referring too, and he didn’t like thinking of his little sister in that way. “Oh lighten up Kelly. She’s a grown woman and could do as she pleases. She doesn’t need you growling at her anytime sex is even remotely mentioned.” Lauren’s face had turned red at Shay’s comment. She was still getting used to Shay’s boldness at talking about sex, especially when she was sitting beside her brother.

“Well, as long as your happy, Sis,” Kelly started. He figured it was better to change the subject. “You know you have my support. Just be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt again,” he said as he pulled her into a hug.

“I will be, Kel. I promise.” Not long after, Lauren headed up to bed. She was giddy for this weekend, and she knew just what she was going to pack. She’d gone shopping with Shay and Gabby one day on their day off, and they had convinced her to buy new lingerie. She just hoped Jay would like it. She packed her bag and climbed into bed. The sooner she went to sleep, the sooner tomorrow would be here.

 

The next morning, Lauren dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. The shirt was one Jay had bought her five years ago at a Florida Georgia Line concert. Lauren loved the group, and had begged Jay to take her. He really didn’t want to go, but he couldn’t say no to her, so they had gone. Lauren knew he had more fun than he let on, and this shirt was one of her favorites. So she decided to wear it today to remind him of that day.

By 8:30 Jay wasn’t there, and Lauren was worried he’d forgotten. It wasn’t like him to be late. So she waited until 8:45 to call him. He answered on the fifth ring; “Hello?” he said sleepily.

“Jay did I wake you?” she asked.

“Lauren?”

“Yea,” she practically whispered.

At her quiet reply, Jay remembered he was supposed to pick her up for the weekend. He pulled the phone away from his ear to see it was 8:45. He was supposed to have gotten her fifteen minutes ago.

“Shit, I’m so sorry. I guess I was so sleepy last night I forgot to set an alarm. I’ll be ready in ten and be there in five, promise.” He said all this as he was jumping out of bed looking for clothes. This was all he needed was to be late. He knew how she thought sometimes, and if she thought he wasn’t coming, she would be thinking he was just offering to spend time with her because that’s what she wanted.

“It’s fine,” she said. He could hear the timidness in her voice. “I know how exhausted you’ve been. I can walk over and meet you.”

“NO!” he quickly replied. He realized how harsh that sounded and added, “I’d rather you not walk. I’ll be there in ten minutes, I promise.” Lauren could hear the desperation in his voice so she agreed to wait on him at Kelly’s.

True to his word, Jay was there in 15 minutes from the time she’d called him. He pulled her into a hug when she got downstairs. “I’m so so so sorry, Babe.”

“Jay, its fine. I promise. We coulda just stayed in and watched movies or something. Let you sleep and relax.”

“No, no. I wanted to do something special with you this weekend and that is what we are going to do.”

“Ok then,” she said with a smile on her face. He pulled her bike jacket out and handed it to her. She held it close before putting it on. It smelled just like him and she loved it. He helped her slip it on and settled the helmet on her head. Damn if she didn’t look sexy as hell. “Nice shirt,” he said with a smirk.

“I thought you might like the memory,” she said as she climbed on behind him. “And besides its one of my favorite tees.” Jay chuckled. He should have known she’d love that shirt.

 

They’d been riding for about an hour, and he figured she was getting tired and wanted to stretch. He doubted she had been on a bike for an extended period of time in the last five years. So he pulled over at a spot on the beach. They were in Kenosha, but he planned on taking her somewhere more special later.

“Are we spending the day here? Because I didn’t bring a bathing suit or anything,” she said.

“No, I just figured you’d like to stretch before we went any further. Wouldn’t want you to get sore or anything,” he said with a wink. Lauren blushed; he loved watching the color rise to her face. “Come on, let’s at least walk along the beach for a short bit,” he said as he grabbed her hand to get her going.

Lauren was dying to ask him a question about that morning, but she wasn’t sure how he’d react, so she kept quiet. Jay could tell she was deep in thought. “Ok, out with it. I can hear your wheels turning,” he said.

“I … uh… I’m…” and she stopped before saying anything else. “Lauren, its fine. You can tell or ask me anything.”

“I know. Ok,” and she took a deep breath. “I was just wondering why you wouldn’t let me walk over this morning. I mean I’ve done it plenty of times before, but you were so adamant this morning.”

Jay was quiet, and then he stopped walking and pulled her into his embrace. “This last case we worked, a fellow officer from another division, his wife was kidnapped in the daylight while walking.” Lauren’s gasp was audible. “She was just going to the little store about a block from their apartment for something for supper is what she text him. She was…. Gah…. She was raped multiple times, chained to the wall. By the time we put the pieces together she was dead.”

“Oh, Jay.” Before she could say anything else he continued; “We were able to get the guys that took her and were at the building with her. But that is just a small portion of the gang, just the ones we had evidence against. We’re afraid because of our arrest that the rest of the gang will strike again. We’re watching them, but I just wanted to make sure you were safe. I would die… absolutely die…. If something happened to you because of me.”

“Oh, Jay. I’m so sorry. I get it I do. I promise I’ll always be safe.”

“I know you’ll try. You still carry right?” She’d told him that Kelly had gotten her a gun and a permit and made her carry. He was glad because otherwise he was going to do it. Especially if she was staying in the city for a while. A firefighter brother and a detective boyfriend made her an easy target. When she nodded yes, Jay blew out a breath of relief.

“Good,” he said. “Ok back to happier things. Are you ready to continue our journey?”

“Sure.” She said with a smile. “Are you going to tell me where we’re goin?”

“Nope,” he said with a wink and a grin as he led her back to the bike. He knew she loved his surprises, and this one wasn’t going to disappoint in the least.

 

Thirty minutes later they pulled up at this secluded cabin. Once Jay killed the bike and climbed off, Lauren pulled her helmet off and shook her hair out. To Jay, that had to be one of the sexiest things ever! “Where are we?” she asked.

“Silver Lake. This cabin is located directly on the lake. I thought it might nice to spend the day here,” he said as he pulled out her purse and overnight bag out once she was off the bike. “Maybe even the weekend if we’re lucky.”

“So, you rented this cabin… just for today or for the weekend?” He loved how surprised she looked. He knew she would love this little surprise.

“Nope,” he said withholding a smile.

“So how are we using the cabin if you didn’t rent it? You’re not breaking in are you?!”

“No Sweetheart,” he said as he threw his arm around her shoulders and started walking towards the cabin. “This is my cabin.” Lauren literally stopped dead in her tracks. She was just standing there staring at him. “You…. You…. You… you own a cabin?!” she practically screeched.

“Yup,” he said with a grin. Lauren was still speechless. She couldn’t believe he’d actually bought a cabin while he thought she’d moved on. That was their dream for the future and he bought it anyways.

Finally Jay coaxed her inside and gave her the tour. The pictures scattered around were of him and Will, his team and his Ranger buddies. But in the bedroom beside the bed was a picture of the two of them. It was definitely from five years ago; Kelly had probably been the one to take it because they were both oblivious to the fact that it had been taken. They were wrapped in each other sharing a laugh. They looked so happy and so in love. Lauren hoped they could get that back and soon.

The cabin had four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a decent kitchen and living room. It also had a basement. Half was decorated as a man-cave with sports stuff. The other half had not been touched. “I thought we could wait to finish this half; maybe make it a play room for the kids or something.” All Lauren could do was nod.

The cabin was literally everything they had talked about wanting in a cabin. They went back upstairs so Jay could show her the view of the lake from the back porch. It was literally breathtaking and completely secluded. She absolutely loved and it, and she loved it all the more because he’d bought it anyways.

As they were looking over the lake, Jay was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her, she asked, “When did you buy it?” Jay placed a gentle kiss on her neck before responding.

“I bought it after my second deployment. It was the absolute worst; my unit was hit by an IED. Mouse and I were the only two survivors. We tried to save the others, God did we ever try, but it was useless. I was a mess when I came home; Mouse was worse. He had to have inpatient treatment, but I wasn’t that bad. Of course they told me it was PTSD, but I thought I was stronger than that; I was supposed to be able to handle it on my own. Will knew better. Before I joined CPD, Will suggested I take an actual vacation. Get away for bit, clear my head. So in my search, I found this place to rent, and I rented it for an entire month. Once I saw it, I knew it was everything you and I wanted in a cabin. Even though I thought you had moved on from me, I knew if you ever got the chance to see this place you would love it too. So I called the owner up and asked how much it would cost to buy it. They really didn’t want to part with it, but I eventually convinced them. So I bought it. Once I convinced myself that I had beaten all the nightmares and anxiety I went home and joined CPD. I still came up every once in a while to make sure everything was working and still as I left it. I wanted it to be perfect if I ever had the chance to bring you here.”

Lauren didn’t know what to say. He’d bought this place with her in mind. “Oh, Jay. You have no idea how much I love this place. How much I love you.”

“Say it again,” he said.

“I love you, Jay.”

“I know. And I know how much you love it. Maybe one day we can move in here permanently,” he said with a wink. Lauren smiled at the thought. She hoped that would happen, but she knew she needed to tell him about August. “Jay, I need to…” Before she got any further he said, “Enough with the serious talk. Let’s have some fun,” he said as he picked her up and carried her to the lake.


	6. The Date part 2

Once at the lake, Jay stripped her. They hadn’t brought bathing suits, and he wanted to swim. So skinny dipping seemed the best option. Plus it gave him an excuse to strip her naked. The lingerie she was wearing underneath was new. She never wore it before, but he loved it! She was absolutely stunning. She always complained she was too fat, but to him, she was perfect.

After he admired her beauty, he let her strip him. Lauren was amazed. He was much more ripped than she remembered. The Rangers had turned him into a beautiful man. She ran her hands over his body and watched as goosebumps appeared.

He cleared his throat and grabbed her hands to stop their exploration because she was seriously turning him on more. Just looking at her turned him on, but she was driving him crazy. “Ok, so I… uh… didn’t intended for this to… uh… happen first.” At the look of panic on her face he added, “Don’t get me wrong, I have been waiting for the day I could get my hands on you again. But I don’t want you thinking this is all I want from you.”

He pulled her in closer and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “I love you, Lauren, and I love your body, but I don’t want you thinking I brought you here this weekend just for sex. I wanted to show you that we can still have fun together just doing everyday things; that what we have is still special. If it happens later, I will be thrilled, but if it doesn’t, this will still be one of my best days ever because I’m spending it with you.”

Lauren was smiling a silly smile that lit up her entire face. “What?” he asked.

“You said you love me.” She was still smiling the biggest smile he’d ever seen.

Jay smiled back. “Yea, I did because I do. I know I said I didn’t, but I was lying to you and myself. I never stopped loving you, Lauren. I don’t think I ever will.”

“Say it again,” she whispered.

“I love you, Lauren Kathleen Severide, you and only.” Lauren couldn’t respond with words. What he said gave her all the hope in the world that they were going to make it this time.

“Come on,” he said as he grabbed her hand and took off for the lake. They swam and goofed off for about an hour. Jay had laid towels on the dock, and he wrapped them in them as they climbed out. “Jay, I’m starving,” she playfully whined.

“Oh, come on. Lunch is waiting.” Lauren took off running for the cabin with Jay chasing after her. He caught her on the back porch, and he pinned her to the wall beside the back door. He kissed her senseless, and they only separated when the need for air became too much. It was the most passionate kiss they had shared since getting back together. It was a kiss that promised so much more to come.

When Jay pulled back, Lauren groaned in frustration. She wanted more, but Jay pulled away. He laughed at her; “You’re the one who said you were hungry. I’m just trying to get you inside to feed you.” Jay pulled her inside the cabin.

“Here,” he said as he tossed her a sundress he’d found in her bag earlier when they were unpacking. She slipped it on while he pulled on jeans. “I just did pizza for lunch. I figured I could ‘wow’ you over dinner.”

“That’s fine,” she said as she hopped up on the counter. Jay stood in front of her while they ate. “I love it here. It’s so peaceful and wonderful.”

“I knew you would,” he said with a smile.

“What are we doing after lunch?”

“Well, whatever you want. I just wanted to spend time with you since I felt like I’d just been neglecting you.”

“Jay, we’ve already been over this,” she said with an eye roll. “You weren’t neglecting me!”

“Ok, ok,” he conceded.

“Well, what if we were lazy and watched a movie?” she suggested.

“That sounds good to me. What movie did you have in mind?”

“Idk. Maybe Safe Haven? Or a chick flick of some kind.”

Jay silently groaned, but if that’s what she wanted to watch then that’s what they would watch. “Sure, why not? Living room or bedroom?”

So far they’d avoided the bedroom, but she had asked if she could stay the weekend, so he figured he’d leave it up to her. She reached out to pull him closer. She spread her knees so he could step between them. She ran her fingers over his chest. “I was thinking the bedroom would be fine. I’m sure you’re still tired and would like to nap.” Her voice had turned slightly husky like it did when she was turned on.

Her hands were running over his body again, and the fact that he knew she didn’t have a bra or panties on had him hard as a rock behind his jeans. “Yea, the bedrooms good, but I don’t want to sleep,” he whispered in her ear.

The way his breath feathered out across her ear gave her cold chills. She shivered as he sucked on her earlobe. “Jay,” she whispered. He kissed her check, her closed eyelids, her forehead, her other cheek, and then her lips. He ran his tongue along the seam of her lips, and she opened immediately.

Their tongues fought for dominance as she slid closer to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he sucked on her bottom lip. Her legs were wrapped tight around him, and she was moaning. He knew what she was wanting, but he had to be sure; he had to hear her say it. He slowed their kissed down, and he chuckled when she groaned in frustration as he pulled back.

“Lauren, look at me.” She lazily opened her eyes. He could barely see her pupils because her eyes were so dilated. He knew she was turned on. He could feel the heat coming off of her. “You are the most beautiful woman. You are so perfect. Feel how much you still affect me?” he asked as he rocked against her. Lauren’s eyes closed again as she moaned his name.

He knew she wanted it, but he still had to hear her say it. “Tell me,” he said. “Tell me what you want.” Lauren opened her eyes and stared at him as she said, “I want you to love me, show me how much you still love me, and then fuck me just like you know I like.”

That did it for him. He was a goner just like five years ago. It always killed him when she was so bold and straight forward with him because he knew she wasn’t like that with anyone else. He knew she would always be it for him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he picked her up to carry to the bedroom. He gently sat her down on the bed. He slowly pulled the dress off her kissing newly exposed skin as he went. Finally it was over her head, and she was reaching to undo his jeans. He stopped her before she could touch them. He shook his head no at her as he laid her back on the bed.

“Remember, you wanted me to show you how much I still love you. So this time is all about you.” Lauren groaned a little because anytime he “made it all about her” he drove her crazy until she begged him to give her what she wanted. She knew it was worth it, but still it drove her crazy.

Jay slowly kissed up the inside of her left leg. Then the inside of her right leg. He knew just how to drive her crazy, and that’s exactly what he was going to do because it was the slow, sweet loving way that showed her exactly how much he loved her.

He kissed up to her stomach, and she tried to cover it up, but he stopped her. “Look at me,” he softly commanded. When she opened her eyes he said, “You are the most beautiful woman on this Earth. Don’t ever try to hide yourself from me. I will always love every part of you because you are you. You will always be the most beautiful to me.” At her nod, he continued on.

He kissed all over her stomach before moving up. He kissed over each breast, but strategically skipped both nipples. He sucked on both sides of her collarbone. He knew he could easily leave a hickey on her, but since Kelly might see them, he decided not to. He kissed up her neck, and then sucked on her earlobes. She was already trying to buck against him, but he placed his hands on her hips and held her still. “I’m just getting started mi amor. Patience always makes it worth it.” It drove her even crazier when he spoke to her in Spanish. It was something he’d picked up from the Rangers, and he only used it when he had to. But with her, he always loved to speak to her in Spanish because of the effect it had on her.

He slowly kissed back down. This time he sucked on one nipple and then the other. He flicked it back and forth with his tongue until she was moaning and whispering his name. He could make her come on a small scale just by sucking on her nipples, but he decided she could wait some more.

Once he had her on the edge, he continued further down. He kissed all around her stomach again until he knew she’d pulled back from the edge. She wasn’t begging yet, but she would; she always did. Once she settled, he spread her legs even further, and watched her open for him.

“Nena, eres tan jodidamente hermosa para mí. Dios, si sólo sabía lo que me hiciste.”

In Spanish he’d told her: “Baby, you are so fucking beautiful to me. God, if you only knew what you did to me.”

“Jaaaay,” she said as he used two fingers to spread her wider. She was already so wet for him. Her let his breath feather across her spread lips and felt her shiver. “Jay, please.” She was on the verge of begging, but she wasn’t there yet.

He slowly, oh so slowly, ran his tongue up the side of her clit. He repeated the action two more times. She tasted just as he remembered; sweet with just a hint of salty. By now, she was moaning and saying his name over and over. He knew he was driving her wild and he loved it.

He took her clit between his lips and sucked. It was exactly what she wanted, but it wasn’t enough to put her over the edge. He sucked, he flicked it with his tongue, and he lightly bit it. She was bucking against his face, and he knew she was close, but she wasn’t begging. So he released her clit. Her groan of frustration had him chuckling.

He stuck his tongue into her and let his thumb push down on her clit. She was back to saying his name over and over. When he licked up her clit again he could feel her tremble. She snaked her fingers through his hair to hold him where she wanted him. “Jaaaay, please…”

He pulled back just enough to whisper, “Please what?” The whisper of his breath had her sensitive skin tingling. “Please what?” he asked again when she didn’t respond.

“Please Jay, make me come.” And that was all it took. He flicked her clit back and forth repeatedly while he slipped first one and then two fingers deep inside her. She shouted her approval as he started sliding them in and out. He could tell she was close by the way her muscles clinched his fingers.

He sucked her clit between his lips and flicked it back and forth with the tip of his tongue. He moved his fingers in a come hither motion, and when he did, he brushed across her g-spot. It took only two more strokes, and he felt her orgasm crash over her. He slowed his tongue, but continued to move his fingers as her muscles squeezed and gripped him over and over. She shouted his name repeatedly as she rode her orgasm out. Jay rode it out with her, and then slowly slipped his fingers out. He couldn’t quit staring at her. Her skin was slightly blushed, her dark hair was spread out all around the pillow, and she looked so content and happy. Her eyes were closed but she had a smile on her face. She was even more beautiful to him.

He knew he had to give her a minute to settle before he could fulfill the rest of her request, so he ditched his jeans before climbing up to lay beside her. He started to kiss her, then remembered she liked it better if he washed up first. So after rinsing with mouthwash, he returned to bedroom.

Lauren was laying on her side facing him. She whispered his name as he got closer. “Yea?” he asked.

“Please,” was all she said.

“Please what?” he asked as he lay down beside her. He stroked up her side waiting on her to answer.

“Please fuck me now.” That was all it took to snap his control. He knew she loved it from behind, so he pushed her on her stomach and then pulled her up on her hands and knees.

He kissed up her back, and started to reach for the bedside table so he could get a condom, but she stopped him. “I’m on the pill. Just hurry, please.” They’d never done it without a condom, so he wasn’t sure how long he would last. She was so hot and wet.

He slowly started pushing in; she was so tight. He knew he wasn’t going to last long. He reached around and pinched one of her nipples. “Baby, damn you’re so tight.” He groaned out as he pushed the rest of the way in.

“No one but you,” she managed to say as she was adjusting to his size. She hadn’t had sex in five years because she didn’t want anyone but him; so she was tight, and he was a lot bigger than she remembered.

“You’re serious?”

She looked back over her shoulder so she could look him in the eye. “Yes, I’m serious. I never wanted anyone but you.” That was all it took for Jay to lose the last bit of control he’d managed to find. “Baby, I don’t…. ugh… I don’t think I’m going to make it very long.”

“Just… ugh… fuck me, Jay,” she whispered. Jay thrust in and out. Damnit but she felt so good. He reached around to rub her clit in time to his thrust. He knew that was the fastest way to get her there with him. He could feel he wasn’t going to last but a couple more strokes, so he angled his hips just right to hit her g-spot with each thrust.

“That’s it, baby. Make me come with you.” He could feel her muscles clinching down on him, and knew she was close. Lauren was bucking back against him as his thrusts got harder and faster. It took only a couple more strokes, and they jumped over the edge together.

Jay pulled Lauren close to him as they lay on their sides spooning. “That was seriously the best,” she whispered as he stroked her arm with his fingers. Jay kissed her shoulder before he said, “Only because it was you.”

Lauren slowly drifted off to sleep. Jay lay there watching her. She was seriously so perfect in his eyes. He loved every little thing about her. He was so glad to have her back, and he wanted to keep her forever. She literally made his world so much brighter.

 

After several more rounds of crazy, wonderful, amazing sex, Jay pulled Lauren out of bed. He’d made spaghetti for supper, and had one more surprise for her. He helped her dress in some more sexy lingerie that he knew was going to drive him wild over dinner, and the dress from earlier. He took her outside where he’d set up a table by the lake and strung white lights all around. They could see the moon reflecting off the lake from the table. “When did you do all of this?” she asked.

“One of the times you were sleeping. I wanted to surprise you one more time.” Lauren was definitely surprised, but she was more surprised by what happened after dinner.

Once they were done eating, Jay pulled out a small box and set it on the table. “Jay?” she questioned in barely a whisper.

“Open it,” he said.

Lauren opened the box to find a white gold ring, shaped in a heart, made out of diamonds. “What… what…” she couldn’t get the question out as tears gathered in her eyes. Jay pulled the ring from the box and pulled her into his lap.

“This is a new promise ring. The old one represents young love, and all the challenges it presented. This ring represents a more mature love. A love that will last forever if we let it. I’ve always loved you, Lauren Kathleen. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew somehow I was going to make you mine forever. I never really stopped loving you, and I don’t think I ever will. We both made mistakes in the past, and I wanted us to have a fresh start this time. I wanted to give you something that every time you look at it, you think ‘he’s serious about us.’ I want to show you for the rest of our lives how much I love you, and even though we still have a few obstacles to overcome, I wanted to promise you that I would stick by you and love you through them this time.”

By the time he was done, Lauren had tears pouring down her face. “Oh, Jay. I love it and I love you so much too.” He pulled her down for a kiss that ended in them making love out by the lake under the stars. He carried her to bed later and slept with a smile on his face all night long.


	7. Summer Loving

They ended up spending the whole weekend at the cabin. When they got back to the city, Jay asked Lauren if she wanted to stay with him. Of course, she agreed. Kelly was happy for her. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy, and he knew Jay made her happy.

Lauren had been staying with Jay for about a month and things were amazing. It was almost too good to be true, but she was loving every minute of it. They still saw Kelly a lot and did things with their friends, but they enjoyed spending time as just the two of them catching up on the lost time. It was now the middle of July, and she still had not told him about going home. She had just 19 days left in Chicago, so she decided she needed to tell him tonight. Kelly had the day off, and she was spending the day with him. She was hoping he could offer her some advice.

Kelly couldn’t believe she hadn’t already told Jay, but she said every time she tried to bring it up, something would always come up or the subject would get changed. He felt bad for her, but she really had to tell Jay. He knew she was worried, and he understood why, but he thought Jay was really serious about making them work this go around so he knew they’d be ok.

Lauren had text Jay around lunch asking if Kelly could drop her by the station later so she could go home with him. Jay had told her it would be fine. So about 6, Kelly took her to the station. Platt buzzed her up. As she got close to the top she noticed how quiet it was. At the top she realized it was because everyone but Jay and Erin were gone. Jay was sitting in his chair, and Erin was sitting on his desk directly in front of him. Neither one had seen her so she quietly backed down some. They appeared to be having a private conversation, and she suddenly felt like she was intruding.

She could barely tell that they were talking about her, but she didn’t want to hear it. She text Kelly and asked if he would come back and get her. Kelly said he’d be there in five. Lauren turned and went back down the stairs. As she went by, Platt asked if everything was ok. She also asked where Jay was, but Lauren didn’t answer either question as she went out the door.

She wasn’t going to cry, at least that’s what she told herself. She didn’t know the whole story, and she knew she was running like he did, but it stung to see them like that. Kelly didn’t ask any questions; he let her sit in silence. Finally, he needed to know where to take her. “Just take me to Jay’s.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She knew she could always tell Kelly anything. “It was just him and Erin. They looked like they were having a private conversation. I heard my name, and suddenly I just didn’t want to stick around to see what was being said, so I left.”

“Lauren,” Kelly started but she interrupted. “No, don’t say it. I know I shouldn’t’ve left, but I did. We’ll talk about it tonight when he decides to come home.” Kelly nodded. He knew if he pushed her, she would shut him out. It was better to just let her talk and do things as she wanted in this situation. “Thanks for the ride Kel. I’ll let ya know what happens. You’ll be up right?”

“No problem, Sis. You know I’m always here for you. And yes, I work tomorrow night so I planned on staying up for a while.”

“Ok, I’ll call if I need ya.” Kelly nodded. As she started to get out he pulled her into a hug. “It’ll be okay, Sis. Just talk to him.” That was the only advice he could offer her. “I will,” she said as she got out to head up to the apartment. She put a pizza in the oven in case Jay was hungry when he got home.

 

As Jay was ready to leave, he went downstairs to see if Lauren was waiting down there for him. She said she was going to have Kelly drop her off, but he hadn’t seen her. Erin went ahead and left, and he stopped to ask Platt if she’d seen Lauren. “Yeah, she came by about an hour ago. I buzzed her up and in less than five minutes she came back downstairs and went out the front door. I asked her if everything was ok, but she didn’t answer. She just walked on out the door.”

“Thanks,” he called as he sprinted out the front door. He tried calling her, but she wasn’t answering. _Shit!_ He thought. Hopefully she was at the apartment. If she’d seen or heard him and Erin, it wasn’t going to be good; since she left without saying anything to him, he could only assume she had at least seen them. He knew what it looked like, and if Lauren heard what all Erin was saying then she would definitely be mad and probably hurt. Erin was just trying to look out for him she said, but he didn’t know. He knew Erin had a thing for him, but he didn’t return it.

When he got to the apartment, he didn’t see her in the living room or the kitchen. He called for her, but she didn’t answer him. He was starting to feel desperate when he found her sitting in bed. Her head was laying on her knees. He sat down on the bed beside her. “Lauren?”

“Yea?”

“What’s wrong? You weren’t at the station, I tried calling you, and you didn’t answer when I called out for you.” She finally looked up at him, and he could tell she had been crying. “I was wanting to talk to you tonight, and then at the station, you and Erin looked like you were having a private, intimate conversation, and I didn’t want to intrude so I left.”

“You’re never intruding. You’re my girlfriend.”

“Yea, and she’s your partner. I heard my name so I figured y’all were talking about me.”

“Ah, hell,” Jay said as he rubbed a hand across his face. “We were, but…”

“But, I don’t want to hear it. I didn’t want to hear then and I didn’t want to interrupt so I left.”

Jay felt his temper rising, and he could hear her anger in her voice when she talked. “Why are you mad?” he asked. That probably wasn’t the smartest question, but he wanted to hear her say it.

“Are you kidding me, Jay?” she practically screamed. She was definitely mad now, and he was getting there. “She was practically in your lap. You say y’all are nothing but partners, but every time she’s around, it’s like I don’t exist. There’s something more than partners between y’all.”

“Oh really? And there’s nothing more than just friends between you and Wes right?” He was fighting mad now, and so was she.

“Seriously?!” I explained that to you already! I know you say we ‘looked so in love,’ but I’ve seen the way Erin looks at you! You hang the moon in her eyes!”

“Whatever! I can’t believe we’re even having this argument right now!”

“Well I can,” she tossed back at him.

“Oh really?! And why is that?”

“Because, Jay, I’ve seen the way she looks at you, the way she acts around you, and the way you both act when I’m around. She. Sees. You. As. More. Than. A. partner!!!”

“Yea, and like I’ve said, Wes. Sees. You. As. More. Than. A. Friend!”

Lauren took a deep breath before replying. Things were quickly getting out of hand, and she still had to tell him about August 1st. “This isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“So what do you suggest?”

“Maybe talking about this like adults, instead of screaming at each other?..”

“Fine,” he huffed. Let me get a drink and something to eat. I’m starving.”

“Fine. Pizza’s in the oven.” Jay nodded as he turned to go to the kitchen.

Lauren took another deep breath after he walked out. She slowly blew it out, calming herself down. It was going to get worse after this, and she had to be prepared for his reaction.

 

 

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Jay took a long sip of his beer. He understood her side, he really did because he had been in those shoes before. But, Erin was nothing more than his partner. Sure he’d tried to make them work about a year ago when she wouldn’t give up, but Erin was not Lauren, and he couldn’t do it. He knew he needed to tell Lauren all of that, but damn his temper. Sometimes it got the best of him, just like earlier.

He pulled the pizza out of the oven and noticed it was still whole. So he sliced it up and grabbed him and Lauren a plate. When he walked back into the bedroom, he noticed she was still sitting with her knees drawn up and her arms wrapped around them like she was protecting herself.

He sat down in front of her and tried to hand her a plate, but she shook her head no. “Have you already eaten?”

“No, but I’m not hungry.”

“You still need to eat.”

“Maybe later,” she whispered. She highly doubted that she would feel like eating after this conversation.

“Lauren,” “Jay,” they said at the same time.

This at least cause her to smile. “You first,” she said.

“Ok, look. Erin is my partner. When I first started with Intelligence, she made it clear she liked me. I was never interested. I’d just gotten myself back to good health, and I wasn’t interested in a relationship. Last year, she wanted us to at least try to make a go of it. I didn’t have a reason not to, so we went out a couple of times. I never saw her as anything more than a friend. She wasn’t you and I couldn’t get past that. She wasn’t happy, and she still tries from time to time to get me to take her out on a date, and I usually refuse. We’ll hang out as friends, but I’ve tried to make it known that I don’t want anything more from her than a friendship, a partnership.”

Lauren was silent. She didn’t know what to say because he was being so open and honest. Finally she said, “I get it. I do. You’re partners and have to work together, but this thing she has for you, I don’t know, Jay. I don’t like it.”

Jay could feel his temper rising. She wasn’t getting it. She didn’t like the ‘thing’ Erin had for him, and he didn’t like the ‘thing’ Wes had for her.

“Yea, well I don’t like the thing Wes has for you. So again, where does that leave us? If we can’t get past this, then what do we do?” Lauren didn’t know what to say. She knew Jay wasn’t going to let the Wes thing go especially when she was fixing to tell him about having to go back to TN.

“I don’t know, Jay. But, I have to tell you something else. Something I had planned on telling you before all of this happened. I’ve been trying to tell you since we went to the cabin, but something always came up. After this, now probably isn’t the best time either, but I had already made up my mind that I had to tell you tonight.”

“OK, what?”

“I… uh…” she cleared her throat. “I have to go back to Tennessee to finish my last semester of college. I leave August 1st.”

Jay was silent, and he wasn’t moving. While she was talking, she’d been staring at her knees, but when she finally gained the courage to look at him, she could see the anger he was barely controlling. “Jay, say something, please. It’s not like I had much of a choice.” She was practically begging him to respond with her eyes.

“I can’t believe you!” he shouted causing Lauren to flinch. “All this time and you didn’t think that little detail was important!”

“I did,” she said with tears running down her face. She couldn’t keep them in any longer. “There just wasn’t a good time to tell you.”

“So after this amazing summer we’ve had, you’re just going to run back, again. You’ll be back living with your quote-unquote friend and dealing with your mom, who I might add doesn’t like me, and finishing school. What about me, huh? Where does that leave me? Did you think about that at all before you came back here this summer?”

“I did, I swear I did Jay, but I thought we could work through it. Deal with it together.”

Jay took a deep breath to control his anger. “I don’t know Lauren. I just don’t know.” It all seemed too familiar to him; the amazing time, the leaving, the being a part. It felt like history was repeating itself.

“It’s up to us to make it work this time, Jay. I want to. I want to do this…. Life with you and only you.”

“I said I don’t know!” Lauren was crushed. She knew this was a possibility all along, but she thought what they had was stronger this time. Lauren pulled her phone out of her pocket. “I’m just going to stay with Kelly tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because that’ll give you some time and space to think and decide what you wanna do.”

“No, you’re just running again,” he accused. “Running to Kelly, running to Tennessee, running away from me!”

“I’m not running!” she shouted. “You’re the one who said you didn’t know if you could do this, Jay. I’m just giving you the space to decide if you can or not. If you WANT to or not.”

When Jay didn’t say anything, she sent Kelly a text asking if he would pick her up. She didn’t even bother gathering up clothes because she still had some stuff at Kelly’s. “Ok, look. I’m going to Kelly’s tonight. When you want to talk, or if you decide you want to do this, then call me.” With that, she climbed off the bed, walked through the apartment, and out the door to wait on Kelly. She was hurt that he didn’t follow her, try to stop her, but she wasn’t really expecting him too.


	8. To Fight or Make Up?

**3 days later….**

Lauren hadn’t heard from Jay since the night of their fight, and that was three days ago. She’d stayed at Kelly’s since then, and quite honestly she was a mess. Kelly tried everything to get her to cheer up, to go out and have some fun, but she refused. She’s sat around the apartment for three straight days doing a whole lot of nothing.

She was completely heartbroken. She’d thought for sure they’d be able to work through it. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but she thought they would make it work somehow. But now, she wasn’t so sure. She didn’t think he was going to speak to her again.

Yesterday, she’d gotten a picture from Wes of his little cousins, Katie and Elizabeth. The caption wanted to know when she would be home because they missed her. Lauren just replied August 1st. It made her miss home, and his family, especially since she was already upset. She hadn’t thought much about them or home since she’d been back with Jay, but now, she was just looking for something to make her feel better.

 

Kelly was finally waking up about noon on the third day when he heard glass break somewhere in the apartment. He jumped out of bed and went sprinting towards where it sounded like it came from. Lauren was standing in the living room starring at the TV with broken glass all around her. She looked absolutely petrified.

Kelly slowed his approach so as not to frighten her anymore. “Lauren, what happened?” he softly asked. She finally turned her eyes toward him and then pointed towards the TV. Kelly turned to look; it was a news report out of Chattanooga. Someone had attacked the naval base, and the reports were stating that four Marines had been killed, and one Navy Sailor was in critical condition.

That was her home; no wonder she was frightened. Things like that just didn’t happen there. Kelly turned back to her. “Ok, it’s ok, just don’t move,” he said. She wasn’t wearing any shoes, and he didn’t want her to get glass all in her feet because a trip to the ER was not in his plans for the day.

“Lauren, look at me.” After a few seconds she turned towards him. He could tell she was in shock, but she was at least still listening to him. “Are you hurt?” he asked. When she didn’t respond, he asked again. This time she shook her head no. “It just… I just…” she started but couldn’t finish.

“It’s ok, I promise, it’s not that big of a deal. I’ll get it cleaned up, but I have to know if you’re hurt anywhere.” Once again she shook her head no. Kelly had managed to walk towards the kitchen during all of this, and slipped his sandals on. He walked up right beside her; he picked her up and carried her to the couch. He noticed the top of her foot was bleeding, but it looked like just a scratch that they could clean up here.

“I’m going to get Shay up so she can look at that place on your foot, and I will clean up the glass, ok?” At Lauren’s nod, he knew she still wasn’t fully comprehending that she had a cut on her foot, but at least she was ok.

Shay was able to butterfly the cut; there wasn’t any glass in it, and it wasn’t deep enough for stitches. Once Lauren returned to her normal self, after sitting between the two of them watching news report after news report, Kelly made them some lunch. The 5th soldier ended up dying at the hospital, making the death toll five with two wounded. The shooter also died.

Lauren had called home to check on her family and was relieved to know that everyone, even her police officer cousins, were safe. Later in the day, she text Jay to see if he wanted to talk. She was needing his comfort, but he didn’t respond. They ended up staying in and watching movies. Kelly and Shay decided Lauren needed them more than they needed to go out.

 

The next night, Friday night, Kelly asked if she wanted to go out with him and Shay, but Lauren said she was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed early. Kelly debated on whether to stay in with her again, but Shay convinced him to give her some space. She’d had an eventful last few days and it was starting to take its toll on her so she probably would turn in early.

Kelly didn’t plan on staying long. He didn’t think she needed to be alone for hours on end, but he’d go for a bit. If he saw Jay though, he was planning on giving him a piece of his mind. He was tired of seeing his little sister so upset over him, again! Once at Molly’s, Kelly saw Jay at the bar downing shots of whiskey. He sat down on the empty bar stool beside him. “What do you want, Kelly?” Jay practically growled.

“I want to know why my sister is back staying with me?! Why you’re not answering her calls and texts again?! Why I hear her crying herself to sleep at night and sometimes during the day when she thinks no one can hear her?! I thought you were serious about her this time, Jay! I thought you wanted to make it work no matter what?!” Kelly’s temper was coming out, and he didn’t think he could stop this little speech. “

Well, here’s my opinion, I think you’re a coward who can’t handle it when it doesn’t work out like you want. So to keep from maybe having to work at it, to stay together, you want the easy way. You want it to just happen on its own, and since it’s not you’ve tossed her aside again! And quite frankly I’m real sick and tired of it. So if you don’t get your shit together, and soon, she’ll be gone, again, and I won’t help you get her back! I doubt she’d give you a third chance!”

“I do want to make this work, damn it! She’s the one running again! She ran to you, and now she’s going to be running back to Tennessee.”

“Yeah, that may be how you see it, but to her, she doesn’t have a choice. Besides, all she did was tell you what she saw that night, kind of like you told her what you saw in Tennessee all those times. I guess running from each other is all you two know to do. But let me just make myself clear, I am tired of it! I’m tired of seeing her so upset and depressed over you, while you’re out here drinking it up every night. You need to figure out what the hell you want and get your shit together or she’s going back to Tennessee without you!”

With that Kelly got up and found Shay. He told her he didn’t feel like being out anymore and he was going back to the apartment.

 

It’d been five days since Lauren had seen or talked to Jay. She thought for sure they were done. She’d recovered from the shock of the attack on Tennessee, and now she was back to just being upset over Jay. Kelly and Shay had to work at midnight, so they were sleeping. Lauren was trying to be quiet and decided a movie on the couch would do for today. Sweet Home Alabama seemed like a good choice. She definitely had the movie memorized, but it reminded her of her and Jay.

About three-quarters of the way into the movie, right as Jake and Melanie were fixing to get back together, there was a knock on the apartment door. _That’s weird_ , she thought. She knew Kelly and Shay would sleep all day, and she wasn’t expecting anyone, so she grabbed her Glock just to be safe. When she looked through the peephole, she saw Jay and her silly heart soared. No matter how much he hurt her, she would always love him and want to be with him.

She laid the Glock to the side and opened the door. “Hey,” she whispered.

“Hey, why are you whispering?”

“Oh, Kelly and Shay are sleeping because they work tonight, and I didn’t want to disturb them today. I feel like I’ve been enough of a bother while I’ve been here so I didn’t want to bother them any more before shift.”

“Oh,” Jay said and then was silent.

“Did you need something?” she asked. He still hadn’t said why he was there so she decided to just ask.

“Uh… yeah… your stuff is still at my place…” Before he could say anything else she interrupted him.  

“Oh, yeah, right. I can… umm… borrow Kelly’s car while their sleeping and….” Before she could say anything else he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her out into the hall to him and kissed her. It was the only way he knew to successfully shut her up.

“That’s not what I meant. You didn’t let me finish,” he said with a smile as he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Oh,” she giggled. “Then by all means, please continue.”

“Your stuff is still at my place, and I think you should be too. I was an idiot, again. I knew you had to finish college, I just…”

“Jay, stop, please. I shoulda told you from the beginning. I was a coward because I didn’t know what would happen, and I was enjoying being with you too much to ruin it. I shoulda trusted you about Erin too, and I let my jealousy get in the way.”

“It’s not all your fault, “he whispered. “I let my temper get away from me. I said things I didn’t mean. Would you…. Umm… I would like it if you would move back in with me. Could you forgive me, again, Lauren?”

“Of course, Jay. I love you,”

“Always have, always will,” he said with her.

“Well, come on then. I’m going to take you somewhere on the bike since its nice out.”

“The cabin?” she asked hopeful. She loved that place and Jay knew it.

“No,” he said with a laugh, “But, you’ll still like it,” he said with a wink.

Lauren went back in and grabbed her stuff. She sent Kelly a text letting him know where she would be and that she would call him later. He’d get it when he woke up.

 

Jay and Lauren had stopped by his apartment to let her change out of her sweats. Jay had convinced her to wear a dress. It was a strapless blue lacy dress that came to just above her knees. She hated wearing dresses on the bike because what if they wrecked or something. But Jay was always careful and he loved her dresses so she usually gave in to him. He loved this particular dress because it was his favorite color, and what he had planned for later would work perfectly with the dress.

They’d driven about an hour south when they stopped in Gary, IN. Jay pulled over at this secluded section of the beach. “A day at the beach?” she questioned.

“Yes, and no. I just wanted to take you somewhere private, and I know how much you love the beach so this seemed perfect.” He turned around so he was facing her. She pulled her helmet off and shook her hair out. Oh the things it did to him watching her do that. If she only knew how sexy she really was.

He pulled her close, so close she was practically in his lap. “Jay?” she said his name as a question. He slid the jacket from her arms and draped it over the handle bars behind him. He kissed her lips and he slid one hand up the inside of her thigh. “Maldición que he echado de menos. Perdóname por favor?”

“Oh, Jay… I’ve missed you too! And of course, I already told you I forgave you. We both said things we shouldn’t’ve. It’s going to take some work, but I’m willing if you are.”

“Of course I am,” he said as he slipped a finger between her legs. It was then he realized she didn’t have any panties on. She’d been riding behind him completely naked under dress. “Ugh… Baby…..” he groaned out.

“I knew what you had in mind, Jay Matthew. So I just saved you a step.”

“Damn,” he sighed out. “If only I’d known sooner.” He pulled her legs up until her ankles rested on the handlebars. He laid her back where her head would rest on her seat. He thrust two fingers deep into her wet heat. She was so wet and ready for him. “Already so wet for me,” he growled.

Knowing she was so turned on for him, always brought the caveman out in him. Usually he could control it, but not today. He wanted to give it to her hard and fast, and he knew that’s what she wanted too. He thrust in and out until he felt she was on the edge.

He used his thumb to rub along her clit in time to his thrusts. “Oh, Jay! Oh, fuck! Jay… I’m gonna…. I’m gonna… Jaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!” she screamed out as her orgasm crashed over her. Jay slowed his fingers inside of her to let her sort of recover.

He knew she would want more; she always did.

Once he felt her settle, he pulled her up to him. “Damn, baby! So sexy, so beautiful,” he said as he ran his fingers along the top of her dress. “Jay,” she whispered.

“What, baby?”

She looked up at him; “Fuck me, Jay. Please.” She added the please at the end because she knew it would get to him.

He stood up and pulled her with him. “Just like last time,” she whispered in his ear right before he kissed her. He turned her so her hands were supporting her weight on the bike. She was bent at the waist, and he was behind her.

He reached around and rubbed along her clit. “Already, ready for me again. Damn, baby, I love you so much.”

“Jay,” she panted. She looked back over her shoulder at him as she said, “Now.”

He knew what that meant. He spread her legs a little further and stepped up between them. He ran his hard dick along her slit. “This what you want, hermoso?” Lauren could only nodded as Jay slipped all the way into him.

“Oh, baby, so wet, so hot, so tight.” Jay thrust in and out over and over as he slowly rubbed her clit. He could feel her orgasm building. It usually doesn’t take her long this way. She loved the angel. He could feel her muscles squeezing him. He felt like he did their first time; trying to hold it together for her, but struggling because she felt so good.

He picked up speed with his hips and thumb. He was getting close and wanted her with him. “Oh, fuck, Lauren,” he said as she tightened her muscles around him. “Jaaayy, I’m so close.”

“Me too, baby, me too.” It took only a few more thrusts before they came together. It was so much better than before. He didn’t know how he thought he could possibly live without this girl. She was his whole world.

Later, after they recovered, they walked up and down the beach hand in hand. After spending about two hours at the beach, they started the ride home. They grabbed takeout on the way home, and ate it back at the apartment. It felt good to be back, Lauren thought. It felt right, like she was right where she belonged. That night, after a few more rounds of slow love making, they fell asleep. It was the best sleep in five days that either one of them had gotten.


	9. The Rest of Summer & the Return

They had just ten more days together. The more Lauren thought about it the sadder she got. She didn’t want to leave Jay, but she was starting to miss Tennessee too. Tennessee had always been her home, and probably always would be, but living with Jay FELT like home, like she was where she belonged.

They’d planned on spending the last days as just the two of them, but what Lauren didn’t know was that Jay and Kelly were planning a surprise for her. Jay wanted their last days together to be special, so he tried to be off early unless they were following a lead and he couldn’t.

They were down to the last five days, and Jay could tell Lauren was sad. He wanted to make her happy again, so he asked Voight if he could have the rest of the day until Sunday off. Jay could tell Erin wasn’t happy about it, but she would get over it. He’d tried limiting the time they’d spent alone, and she was accusing Lauren of driving a wedge in their partnership. Jay was getting tired of it, but he didn’t know what to do about it.

Voight agreed, so he sent Lauren a text telling her to start packing. She asked why, and he told her he had until Sunday off so they were going to the cabin. Lauren was excited. She knew Jay must have taken the time off once he got to work, and it made her feel special. She text Kelly that they were going to be gone, but they’d be back on Friday so she could spend time with him. He told her he’d be fine and to enjoy her time away. He knew they needed that alone time before she left, so he was ok with it.

 

Jay and Lauren spent Monday through Thursday at the cabin. They enjoyed swimming, being lazy, watching movies and making love. They never talked about her leaving. On Friday, they headed back to the city. Jay was leaving her with Kelly for the day, and she didn’t realize that it was all part of the surprise they had planned for her. Kelly helped her pack everything up, and then they settled in to watch a movie.

“I don’t want to go, Kel. I want to stay with you and Jay.”

“I know, Sis, but’s just until the first of December. We’ll be able to make it.”

“I know. I just… I don’t want history to repeat,” she sighed.

“Hey, look at me. Do you love Jay?”

“Of course, Kel!”

“Ok, and do you know if Jay loves you?”

She gave him a ‘well duh’ look, but just nodded yes. “Ok then, here’s the thing; you’re both older, hopefully you’re both wiser. You both have lived without the other for a period of time. Sure you’re going to fight and it’s not always going to be easy, but if you both want it to work, and I think you do, then you’ll make it work. It’s just five months, and you’re going to be here on breaks, so you can make this work.”

“Thanks, Kel. You always know what to say.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he said as he kissed the top of her head.

A little later, after the movie was over, Kelly looked at his phone. He had one text that said “ **Ready.”**

“Come on,” he said as he pulled her up from the couch. “We’re going to Molly’s tonight.”

“But, I’m staying with Jay, and he should be back any time now.”

“Oh, he text saying he was at Molly’s.” Lauren just shrugged as she followed Kelly out of the apartment.

 

At Molly’s, Lauren could hear the music from outside. _Must be big night,_ she thought. Kelly held the door open for her, and as soon as she walked through the door, everyone yelled “SURPRISE!!!” Lauren was shocked. Kelly and Jay had put together a going away party with everyone from the firehouse and the precinct. Jay walked up and handed her a drink. He pulled her into a hug; “We wanted to surprise you and give you one last night with your friends before you went home.”

“Thanks,” she whispered. They ate, they drank, and they mingled all night. Lauren didn’t want the night to end because it was going to be at least a month before she saw all her friends again. But around midnight, everyone started saying goodbye. It was hard, but she knew tomorrow would be harder.

Before Kelly left, he pulled her into a hug. “I’ll meet you at the airport in the morning.”

“Ok, my flight leaves at nine, so we’ll be there about eight.”

Kelly nodded as he let her go; “Have a good night you two,” he said as he left. Jay took her back to the apartment. It was weird not seeing all of her stuff all over the apartment, but he was going to have to get used to that. “Lauren,” he breathed out as he kissed her.

She pulled him into the bedroom where they made love over and over all night long. Her alarm went off at 6:30. She took a shower and got ready. Jay had made her breakfast and she hopped up on the counter. “I’m not hungry,” she said.

He stepped between her legs. “You need to eat,” he said. She shook her head no. She felt sick every time she thought about having to get on the plane. He wrapped his arms around her; “It’s going to be ok, baby. I promise. We’re going to make it this time. I just know it because I don’t want to lose you again. I don’t want to lose you ever, so I’m going to make this work.” Jay could feel her crying.

“Shhhh… please don’t cry, baby. You know it kills me when you cry,” he said stroking her back as he held her close. “You’ll be back before you know it. Remember, we booked your flight last night for Labor Day weekend? That’s just one month. We’ll talk every day and you’ll be back in my arms before you know it.”

Lauren nodded as she pulled it together. “Ok, we have got to go, babe, if we’re going to be on time.” Lauren nodded as he pulled her off the counter. Jay grabbed her suitcase, she grabbed her two duffle bags, and they headed out to Jay’s car. They got to the airport and got her checked in. They had just about thirty minutes until her flight left.

Lauren sat down between Kelly and Jay. She was trying really hard to hold it together, but time was ticking too quickly. At Jay’s nod, Kelly pulled her up. Just like last time, Kelly was going to say goodbye first. He knew she hated flying, so every time, Shay would give her Xanax. He handed it to her as he pulled her into a hug. She swallowed the pill with some of his drink and hugged him back.

“I don’t think I can do this, Kel.” She started crying again. Every time she visited, goodbyes between her and Kelly were hard, but she knew she still had to tell Jay goodbye and it made it that much harder.

“Yes, you can, Sis. You’re strong and the time in between will fly by. You’ll be back visiting before you know it. Beside with technology, you could see my handsome face every day if you wanted.” Just like he hoped, it made her laugh. “Thanks, Kel.” He hugged her close. “I love you, Sis. We’ll make this work; we always do.” Lauren nodded. “But, you have to say goodbye to Jay now.”

“I know. I love you Kel.”

“See you soon,” he whispered. That was what they said every time instead of saying goodbye because goodbye just sounded so final.

“See you soon,” she whispered as he let her go and turned her towards Jay.

This was going to be hard for them both, but Kelly thought they were stronger this time; they would get through it together.

 

 

Jay opened his arms as Lauren walked into them. She was definitely crying/sobbing now. “Shhh… Baby. It’s going to be ok, I promise.” Lauren could only nod. “Just remember, we already have your trip booked. We’ll talk every day. This time is different baby. We have to let the past go and focus on the future; our future, together.” Lauren nodded. “Look at me, Beautiful.”

She raised her eyes to look at him. “I love you so much Lauren Kathleen. I’m going to do everything, and I mean everything, to show you that and show you that we can work while we’re apart.”

“I know. I love you so much, Jay.” Jay pulled her into a kiss as he felt his own tears gather in his eyes. He didn’t want her to go, but he knew she had to. He knew he had to be strong for her right now, but it was killing him inside. He heard her flight called as they broke their kiss for air.

Lauren wrapped her arms around him tight, hanging on for dear life. “It’ll be ok,” he whispered.

“Don’t make me go,” she begged. God, she was breaking his heart right in two.

“You have too, baby. Time will fly by.” He slowly walked her towards the gate. He handed the lady her ticket because she still had her arms wrapped around him. He hugged and kissed her one last time. “You have to go now. Call me when you land. I love you Lauren.”

“Jay,”

“No, you have to go, Baby.” Jay pulled her hands from around him. She was begging him with her eyes not to do this, but he knew if he didn’t, she would regret not finishing her degree she’d worked so hard for. He didn’t want her to have any regrets when the time came for them to start their life together. He knew she had to do this. “I love you, Lauren.”

“I love you too, Jay.”

“Go now,” he whispered as he let her hands go and pushed her towards the gate. Lauren walked backwards until she couldn’t see him anymore. Jay’s tears flowed down his face as he watched her walk away. He knew she had to, and it was so hard on her, but now that she was out of sight, it was breaking him. He couldn’t stop the tears if he wanted too.

Kelly came up beside him once Lauren was completely out of sight. “Come on, Jay. She’ll be ok.” Jay nodded as he turned to follow Kelly out. He couldn’t talk right now if he wanted to. He felt like his heart had been ripped out, but he knew he’d be ok. That was one of the hardest things he’d had to do since his deployments. He just hopped time passed quickly. But he meant it when he said he was going to do everything possible to make this work because he really didn’t think he could live without her anymore.

An hour and a half later, Lauren called to let him know she had landed safely. She told him her mom picked her and she would talk to him soon. Jay was glad she was safe, but it was going to be one long month.


	10. Unexpected News

It’d been 14 days since they had seen each other in person. They texted all the time, talked on the phone at least once a day, and skyped at least twice a week. It wasn’t the same, though, and Jay really missed having her around all the time. Missed seeing her clothes, shoes, and just her stuff all around his place. Missed being able to come home from work and wrap her in a hug and kiss her all he wanted. Missed falling asleep with her beside him and waking up to her beautiful face every morning.

Jay had gotten an official notice five days after she left letting him know that his Ranger reserve status had officially be bumped up to high alert. A secret mission was being planned as retaliation for the Chattanooga attack, and it was very possible Jay’s unit would be used. So every day was spent waiting. He was anxious because he didn’t want to get bumped to active and it was making Lauren anxious too.

Mouse had not gotten the notice, and Jay was thankful for that. Mouse, on the other hand was not. Jay didn’t want to see him relapse because he was finally in a good place with a good job. He explained all that to Mouse, but Mouse still wasn’t happy. They had always been a team in the Rangers, and Mouse was feeling left out, but Jay figured he’d get over it.

Work was pretty slow for a Friday and Jay was happy about it. He was hoping to be able to get out early so he could skype with Lauren for a while. About lunch, however, Voight called him into his office. Jay couldn’t think of anything he’d done so he had no clue what this was about.

“What’s up, Sarge?”

He knew something must be really wrong when Hank nodded towards the chairs in front of his desk and closed the door. “Jay, I got a call from your CO.” Jay felt his chest tighten. He knew what this meant; his mission was a go. “Your status has officially been changed to active. You report to Fort Benning Sunday morning at 0900 where you will get your official orders and details of the mission.”

Jay was so quiet, so still, Hank was afraid he had quit breathing. “Halstead?”

“Yes, sir. I…. uh… I have…. There’s some things I need to do.”

“I know. I already covered your leave before I let you know. They didn’t tell me how long you would be gone, so you have indefinite leave from the CPD. You’ll be reinstated as soon as you return. I’m giving you the rest of the day off too. We will miss you Jay.”

“Yea same here,” he said almost dejected. “Have you… umm... have you told them yet?” he asked as he nodded out towards the team.

“No, I thought you might like to.”

“Yea… yea… I’ll do that now before I leave.”

Hank nodded as he followed Jay out. “Alright, listen up,” Hank said gaining everyone’s attention. Everyone was looking at them. Jay didn’t want to do this; it wasn’t supposed to be like this anymore. He knew he had to though.

“Umm….I… umm…” Jay started but stopped and took a deep breath. Hank put his hand on Jay’s shoulder as a sign of support. “I just received word that I will be deploying Sunday. I have not received my official orders, yet, so I cannot tell you how long I’ll be gone. But I just wanted to say that everything you all have done for me and all the support means the world to me.”

Everyone was quiet, and then Olinsky came up and gripped him in a hug. “We’ll still be here when you get back. If you need anything just call.” After that everyone told him goodbye and offered their support, except Mouse.

Erin was heartbroken. After she told him goodbye she went to the locker room and let the tears fall. It hurt that he didn’t seem to be as effected by leaving as it was effecting her. She’d thought with Lauren being gone that he’d finally give them a real chance, but she was just starting to see that that probably wouldn’t happen, especially now that he was leaving.

After Erin walked off, Jay noticed that Mouse was conspicuously absent. He turned to head downstairs where he figured Mouse was probably hiding after Jay made his announcement. Hank stopped him before he started down the steps; “He’ll come around. Don’t worry, we all will keep an eye on him. He’s a part of this team now, part of family bigger than just you. We’ll take care of him.”

Jay nodded his appreciation and continued on down the steps. Sure enough, Mouse was in his old office staring at the blank computer screen. “Hey,” Jay said. Mouse didn’t turn around. “Come on, Mouse, don’t be like this. It’s hard enough on me as it is. I don’t need you being mad at me too.”

“I’m not mad at you, Jay. I’m mad at myself. I should have handled myself better after that last tour and then I would be going with you. I’d be watching your six like I’m supposed to instead of being stuck stateside.”

“Hey, you can’t blame yourself for that, man. You know that. It happens to the best guys. But, I’m glad you’re not going. I don’t want to see you have to go through that again.”

Mouse finally turned around and looked at him. Jay could see that he was beating himself up, but he hoped this little talk would put him at ease. “No need to worry, Mouse. I’ll be okay. I need you here keeping everyone in line, waiting for me to get back.” Mouse nodded as Jay pulled him into a man hug. “It’ll be fine. You’ll see. Don’t beat yourself up so much.”

After his little talk with Mouse, Jay called Will. He was glad Will had the day off, and he told him that he would be home soon. After telling Will the same thing he’d told the team, Will helped him pack. He was no doubt sad and worried for his brother, just like he was the last two times they’d gone through this, but he couldn’t let Jay see that. Jay had his hardest goodbye coming up, and Will knew he just needed support.

“Here’s my keys, gun, bank numbers, etc.”

“I know the drill, Jay. It’s fine.” Jay nodded as he packed the last of his things in his bag. Will helped him get a flight for 0600 in the morning. They shared beers over pizza. Will told Jay he would just stay at the apartment until he got back, and Jay said that would be best. It wasn’t long before Jay felt his phone ring. “Go talk to your girl. I’ll be fine.” With that, the brothers said goodnight.

On the phone, Jay told Lauren he would be flying in to Knoxville at 0730. He wanted to know if she’d pick him up. Of course she agreed. She had a suspicion as to why he was making a surprise trip when she would be flying up there in just 20 days, but she was praying she was wrong and he just wanted to see her.

 

The next morning, she met Jay at the airport. She knew as soon as she saw him; he would be deploying sometime soon. She ran and jumped into his arms when he was less than 100 feet from her. “I’ve missed you so much, Beautiful.”

“Oh, Jay, I’ve missed you too.” He kissed her before he sat her down to go get his luggage. They shared small talk on the way back. Jay had rented a hotel room in Farragut so they wouldn’t have so far to drive tomorrow and because she had yet to tell her mother about them being back together.

Once in the room, Jay pulled her to him and held her tight. “Damn, I’ve missed this,” he whispered.

“Jay?”

“Yeah, babe.”

“You’re active aren’t you? That’s why you flew down, so you could tell me?” Jay sighed as he leaned away enough to look in her eyes. “I am.”

He saw the tears gather in her eyes. “Hey, hey, don’t cry baby, please don’t cry. We’ll be ok.” He sat down on the bed and pulled her down onto his lap where she was facing him. He held her head between his hands; “Lauren, look at me.”

She raised her eyes to meet his; she was trying to hide the tears running down her face, but she looked at him when he asked. “It’s going to be ok.”

“I’m….. just….. worried…. about… you. Things just feel like they’re repeating and I have no control over it. I hate when you’re deployed. I always feel like I’m walking around on pins and needles just waiting for the one that is going to stick me.”

She was rambling and Jay knew she needed to, but he also knew she needed his reassurance so he cut her off. “I know, baby, I know, but I promise, I’ll be super careful. I have you to come home to, you that is here waiting on me to make our life together. I’ll be careful because I have you. I’m coming home, baby, I promise.” Lauren nodded as Jay wiped the tears away.

“How long?” she finally asked.

“I don’t know baby. I have to be at Fort Benning in the morning and I’ll meet my new team and get my orders then.”

“Is Mouse going?”

Jay hung his head. “No, and he’s mad at himself because of it. I’m worried about him, but I don’t think the team will let him do anything.”

“I’ll check on him soon,” Lauren said. She knew that would make Jay feel better, and she must admit she kinda liked Jay’s best friend. At first she’d found him strange, but now she could see why they were so close.

“Kelly’s going to meet you at the airport in the morning. He didn’t want you to be alone and I agreed with him.” Lauren nodded again. They ended up ordering pizza for lunch and supper. They stayed in curled up in bed watching movies and spending time together.

They made love several times throughout the day and night. It all felt so final to her, but she knew Jay was right. They would make it; they were different, stronger even, this go around and they would be ok. Lauren hardly slept any; she kept just watching him, memorizing all the features that made Jay, Jay.

When his alarm went off at 0630, Jay pulled her on top of him. “I know you’ve been staring. Why didn’t you sleep, Pretty Girl?”

“I just wanted to look at you. Memorize everything possible.” Jay could see the tears gathering in her eyes. He pulled her down for a kiss. “We’ll still skype, babe, email, maybe even talk on the phone if I’m lucky. This isn’t the end.”

“I know… I just…. I don’t know….”

“It’s ok. I get it, Baby.” Jay rolled them so he was on top of her. He kissed her all over. He had no idea when he would see her again so he wanted to store up all the kisses he possibly could. He nudged her nose with his. Lauren opened her eyes to look at him. “I love you so much, Lauren Kathleen Severide. I will come home to you. I promise.”

“I love you too, Jay Matthew Halstead. Come home soon,” she whispered.

“I will, baby, I will.”

They got up and got ready to head to the airport. Jay was glad Kelly was meeting them there; he didn’t think Lauren should drive after he left. She was quiet all the way to the airport, and when he checked in. It was always hard to say goodbye before deployments because everyone wanted to stop and talk to him, offer their support and gratitude for his service and their sacrifice.

Once Jay was through security, they walked to his gate. Kelly was waiting on them. He hugged them both, and told Jay, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her. You just be safe and come home to her.” Jay nodded and then Kelly gave them space to say goodbye, again.

Jay pulled her in tight and just held her. He could feel her tears soaking through his fatigues. This wasn’t going to be easy for either of them. Jay pulled back just a little. He gripped her head between his hands; she kept her eyes closed letting the tears run out from beneath her lids. “Look at me baby. Let me see those beautiful eyes.”

Lauren looked up at him; “I’ll let you know as soon as I get there and as much info as I can, ok?” Lauren nodded. He cupped her cheek with one hand, and pulled her left hand up to his chest. He placed it over his heart and ran his finger over her promise ring.

“Anytime you feel scared or need reassurance, just look at this and remember my promise. It’s going to be different this time, baby, I promise.”

“I know, Jay. I just don’t want you to go.”

“I know, Sweetheart. But I have too. Believe me when I say I don’t want to. But I’m going to try everything possible to get out for good this time. I have all the reasons in the world to stay home now. I don’t need or want to leave anymore.” Lauren smiled. About that time his flight was called.

“I love you Jay. Please be careful and…. (sniff, sniff) come home soon… (sniff)”

“I love you too, baby, and I will. I promise.”

“Talk to you soon,” she whispered. Jay hugged her real tight and planted a searing kiss on her lips. “I have to go,” he whispered. Lauren nodded but wouldn’t let go. “Come on baby, I have too,” he said as he sent Kelly a pleading look.

Kelly walked up behind her as Jay pulled her arms from around him. He held her hands as he said, “I love you and I will talk to you real soon.” He let go as he turned to walk away. Jay was crying now too because he knew how much this was breaking him to leave so he knew it was breaking her even more. He looked back and offered a small wave before boarding the plane.

Kelly was the only reason she was still standing. He had her wrapped tight in his arms and Jay could see she was sobbing, but she waved back. At her wave, he turned and boarded just as they announced last call for boarding.

 

Kelly was glad he decided to make the trip down. There was no way Lauren was ok to drive. He could tell she was breaking in two and if it wasn’t for him, she probably would be a puddle in the floor. He managed to get her outside and find her car. He settled her in the passenger seat and buckled her in. She looked completely exhausted.

Jay had text him on their way to the airport that she hadn’t slept any last night, and Kelly knew she’d been sick Wednesday, Thursday and Friday and the doctor had put her on some strong antibiotics. She’d told Jay yesterday when she picked him up that she was feeling much better, but Kelly was afraid that after this, she would relapse and be sick again. He was hoping he could get her to sleep or rest most of the day.

“Thank you, Kel,” she whispered about halfway back to Athens. Kelly had rented a room for them for Sunday and Monday night. He wasn’t flying back until Tuesday morning because he didn’t work until then. She’d told her mom she was staying with Kelly anyways so it was fine.

“That’s what I’m here for, Sis. You know that. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

Lauren sighed. “I don’t know how to do this, Kel. It was so hard last time especially when he ignored me and didn’t come back. I don’t want to have to do this again.”

“I know, Little Bit, I know. But you can do it. You have to do it. You’re in this together and you’ll make it work. Jay’s serious this time, Sis, I know because we’ve talked. It’s going to be ok.”

“Thanks,” she whispered.

 

Kelly managed to get her to sleep most of the day. Jay called about 1600. His orders were once the mission was complete he could come home. That’s all he could tell her, but he honestly wasn’t sure how long the mission would take. He was deploying overseas first thing in the morning, and he promised he would talk to her as much as possible. That night she cried herself to sleep in Kelly’s arms. It was going to be hard, but she would get through it somehow. She just hoped it wasn’t a long deployment.


	11. Early Return

Jay had been deployed for 12 days. 12 long days that she had not seen his handsome face or heard his voice. He’d not had access to a phone or computer with a camera, so they had only been able to swap emails. All Jay had been able to tell her was that they’d been doing a lot of surveillance and he was hoping to be able to complete the mission soon.

He was ready to come home and be out of the desert. Lauren was a little worried because she hadn’t heard from him all week. Usually Jay replied within two days, but she hadn’t heard from him since Sunday. She was hoping that meant he was wrapping up the mission, but she wasn’t so sure.

It’d been a normal Friday at school. She was finally settling in and adjusting to first grade. She still wasn’t sure she was going to like it, but she liked the school and the people she worked with so that made it bearable. She was starting to get excited because in just one week, she would be flying to Chicago for Labor Day weekend. She missed her brother and all her friends, but she was hoping Jay would be there too. Because honestly, he was the one she missed the most.

As she was driving home, she remembered just last weekend how she had made a rash decision to go to Chicago for the weekend. _She was feeling so alone and depressed. She didn’t want to stay with her mother, and since her and Jay and been back together, Wes was out of the question. So on Thursday afternoon, she left school and just started driving north._

_She emailed her professor and told her that she was sick and would not be at school the next day, and she texted her cooperating teacher the same thing. She drove all night, and made it to Chicago at 0100. Kelly was on shift so she bypassed the apartment and showed up at the fire hall._

_She was a complete mess by the time she got there, and when Kelly saw her, he honestly thought something really bad had happened to Jay. When she explained she just didn’t want to be alone, Kelly was furious that she had driven all night after being at school all day. She should have called him, and he would have gotten her a flight or something. She told him she was careful, but she didn’t know what else to do. She just wanted to be with people that would understand and offer her comfort._

_So she stayed Thursday night/Friday morning at the fire hall. She slept in Kelly’s bed in his office, and thankfully the calls were minimal and he was able to stay with her. He felt bad, that she felt bad, but he wasn’t sure how to help her. About 1100, Kelly was exhausted. He’d been up for twelve straight hours and he was in need of sleep. So Lauren asked to borrow his car, and she went to the apartment. Why she wanted his car he didn’t know, but he let her have it anyways._

_She changed into more comfortable clothes, and watched two movies on Hallmark. Of course, all they did was make her miss Jay more, so she decided to head to Molly’s. It was 1600, and she knew it was still early, but she was hoping PD would show up soon. She started out not drinking. She was alone, and she needed to be able to drive home so she passed on the alcohol._

_About 1730, PD started showing up. They were all surprised to see her because no one had been expecting her. Mouse sat down at the bar beside her. “You drinking?” he asked. She shook her head no, and he asked, “You want to do though don’t you?” When she nodded yes, he told her to order whatever she wanted._

_She started with a mudslide; then a shot of vodka; after that, she order a melon ball, another shot of vodka, another mudslide, another shot of vodka, another melon ball and a screwdriver. After the screwdriver, Mouse cut her off. She was pretty well hammered by this point. Throughout the night they talked. She told him how she missed Jay so much that it hurt most days._

_She just wanted him home. She told him how life at home sucked. She wanted to move to Chicago, but she didn’t graduate until December. She told him her dreams for the future, the life she wanted with Jay. Mouse told her he was ready to settle down; he wanted someone that would just accept him for who he was, someone that could handle the past and the present. She knew he was referring to his PTSD and the trouble it still caused some times and the extremes of his job._

_When she finished the screwdriver, he told her he was taking her home. By then, she was so drunk she could barely hold her head up. When he found her keys, he realized she was in Kelly’s car. He called Kel and told him what had happened. Kelly explained that he was on shift for another four and a half hours. Mouse told him that Will was off, so he would just drive her to Jay’s if that was ok with him. Kelly said that would be perfectly fine. He always slept the whole day after getting off shift, and since he didn’t know she would be there, he hadn’t slept up enough to hang with her. He felt really bad, but knew Will would take care of her until he had some more sleep._

_Mouse managed to get her in the car, and before he’d gone half a block she passed out. The next thing she remembered was waking up in Jay’s bed the next morning and running to the bathroom puking. Will came and held her hair and once she finished, he made her drink this absolute awful drink. It was some tomato concoction he swore would work. It took all she had to drink the whole thing without puking again, but Will was right. She wasn’t sick the rest f the day._

_Mouse came over about lunch to check on her and he filled in the missing pieces. He’d called Will on his way to the apartment and explained the situation. Will met him at the car, and carried her fireman style while Mouse carried her stuff. He settled her in Jay’s bed, knowing the hangover in the morning would be brutal._

_He wasn’t kidding about that. She had just started feeling human again when Mouse showed up with lunch. Over lunch, Mouse and Will shared stories about Jay. She loved hearing all of that, but she wanted Jay home._

Lauren snapped out the memories as she pulled into the driveway. She noticed as she got out of the car that she had a missed call from Will. ‘ _Hmm,’_ she thought; ‘ _Guess I didn’t hear it ringing while I was reminiscing.’_ As she put her stuff away, she called him back. He was probably just calling to check in like he did at least once a day. After her surprise weekend with them, Will and Mouse both called at least once a day to make sure she was doing ok. They said Jay would want them too.

When he answered, Lauren knew. Something was different; something was wrong; she picked it up from the tone of his voice. He sounded dejected and hurt. “Will? What is it? Is it Jay?” Lauren held her breath waiting for his response. When Will was quiet for too long, she said, “Oh, God. Will just tell me.”

“Lauren, you might want to sit down.” The worst case scenario flashed through her mind; surely Will wouldn’t tell her over the phone that he had died, but that is exactly what she was thinking.

Will could hear her sobbing. “Lauren, listen. He’s alive, ok. He’s alive.”

“He is?”

“Yes, he is. I just got a call that his unit was on its way back to base when the convoy hit an IED. The unit was also…..”

“Also what, Will?”

“Also attacked by insurgents that were hiding in the hills waiting on them. Jay’s the only one alive, but he suffered two gunshot wounds. One to the shoulder and one to the stomach just above his hip. They have him stable, but they’re flying him back to the States. They said he needed top medical care that wouldn’t be provided in Germany. He’ll be landing at Dover Air Force Base at 0400 in the morning and then taken to Bayhealth Kent General Hospital. Mouse and I are leaving tonight and will meet him at the hospital in the morning.”

All Will could hear was sobbing on the other end of the line. “Lauren?”

“Yea… (hiccup) I’m… (hiccup) here,” she managed to choke out. She felt pain all over. She knew she should be thankful that he was even coming home, but she was scared. There was still a chance he wouldn’t make it.

“Do you want me to call Kelly? What do you need?”

“I need Jay,” she whispered. She started throwing clothes in her duffle bag. She didn’t know what she was going to do exactly, but she had to get to Jay.

Will told her to hang tight that they would work out her travel arrangements. He didn’t want her driving, and he knew Kelly wouldn’t either. Her mom walked in mid-clothes throwing after she hung up with Will. She demanded to know what was going on. Lauren proceeded to tell her how she had gotten back with Jay over the summer, how he’d been deployed, and how he was now hurt and returning home. She also said she was going wherever he was going to be.

Her mom lost it. She told her that Jay was bad news, that all he ever did was hurt her, and that she needed to forget about him because she had the most perfect guy here. She blamed Kelly for all of this; she should have never let her go this summer. He never watched Lauren carefully enough when she was up there, and now look. She was a mess because of Jay, again.

Her mother forbid her from going back to Chicago, or anywhere for that matter because she was not going to miss any school, which she reminded Lauren that they had paid for. Finally Lauren had heard enough. She tried calling Kelly but it went to voicemail. She left him a message begging him to either come get her or get her a plane ticket. She assumed he was on the phone with Will, but she knew she sounded desperate and Kelly would do whatever it took to help her.

She went outside to get away from her mother and clear her head. Everything was packed, she just needed to know what to do, where to go. Kelly called her back, and she repeated everything that happened with her mom. Kelly was furious that her mom would act like that when her daughter just needed support and comfort. He told her that he was working on travel with Will and he would have her a response within the hour.

Lauren walked around outside for an hour. Walking helped her have a clear head, and if she was going to be driving, she needed a clear mind. She was praying that Jay would be ok. Now that she had him back, she knew she couldn’t live without him again.

As promised, Kelly called and said she had a flight leaving Knoxville at 2000. It would land in DC where Will and Mouse would pick her up. They would drive the remaining two and a half hours to Dover. Lauren thanked him and went back in to get her stuff.

Her mother wasn’t going to talk to her. She couldn’t believe Lauren had gotten back with that scum that broke her heart and caused her so much pain. She figured this was probably all Kelly’s doings. If Kelly got her back with Jay, then she would want to stay in Chicago. He’d been trying to take Lauren from her for the last five years, and so far he’d been unsuccessful because of the hold she had over her daughter. Come December though, she would lose that hold and she was afraid Lauren would be gone forever. She decided she needed to try and plead with her one last time.

“Honey, are you sure you want to do this? I mean think about how much pain and suffering he put you through. You don’t want to live through that again do you?”

“Mom, I love you, I do, but this is my life and Jay is all I want. He’s the only person I’ve ever truly loved. It’s called forgive and forget. I know you can’t do that, but I can and I have. Jay loves me and I love him. You can either support me or not, it’s up to you, but I’m going this weekend and for however long he needs me, and you can’t stop me.” With that Lauren walked out the door to head to Knoxville.

 

 

In DC, Will and Mouse were waiting for her. She’d held it together the entire flight, but as soon as she saw them, she lost it. She dropped everything in her hands and started bawling. Will caught her first and held her until she calmed down. He let her go, as he picked up her bags, and Mouse pulled her in for a hug. “I’m so so so very sorry, Lauren. I should have been there; should have been watching his back.”

Before he could say anything else, Lauren stopped him. “Mouse, no. Stop. Please. Jay would not want you doing this. Please don’t blame yourself.” She was begging him with her eyes to stop feeling responsible so he nodded. Jay would want him taking care of her right now, not adding to her worry so he let it drop.

“Come on guys. We still have a two and a half hour drive ahead of us.” Will said as they turned to walk out of the airport. In the car, Lauren fell asleep. The exhaustion from the day had finally caught up with her, and she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. Will managed to find a hotel within a mile of the hospital with Mouse’s help. They managed to wake Lauren enough to get her inside the room before she passed out again.

They only had about three hours until Jay’s plane would arrive so Will and Mouse both decided to catch a little sleep as well. Who knew how long the next day would be.

 

**3 hours later…**

Will’s alarm went off at 0345. He groaned as he turned it off; the other two never moved. Jay had always joked about what heavy sleepers they both were, and Will could see, he wasn’t kidding. He debated on whether to wake them or let them sleep some more because he knew they both could use it, but he knew they would be livid if he went to the hospital without them.

Mouse was much easier to wake than Lauren, until she remembered where she was, and then she was wide awake. Will stopped on the way to the hospital and got them coffee. Lauren said she didn’t want any; Will thought that was odd but he just assumed she didn’t think he stomach could handle it and all the stress.

At the hospital, Will informed the ER nurse why they were there and that he was a doctor at Chicago Med. She didn’t seemed fazed by that information and told them that they were aware of the incoming soldier. She showed them to a waiting room, and told them she would let them know something soon.

Will knew the minute Jay arrived. The ER seemed to come to life. Orders were shouted from doctors to nurses, and feet could be heard running alongside a moving object. It was second nature to him. He stood and went to the entrance of the waiting room, and Lauren followed him.

As Jay went by, Lauren gasped and grabbed ahold of Will’s arm. He wrapped his arm around her to keep her upright. Jay was as white as the sheets around him. They’d put him on oxygen, and Will could see the bloodstains through the sheet. He was able to catch that they were taking him for a scan and then straight to surgery, before Jay was wheeled out of sight.

He managed to get Lauren back to a chair beside Mouse. She instantly laid her head on his shoulder needing some kind of comfort. Mouse wrapped an arm around her as Will knelt down in front of her. He placed his hand on her knee as she asked, “What were they saying?”

Will took a deep breath; “He’s lost a lot of blood. The wound on his shoulder was a through and through. The one in his stomach is still in there. They are taking him for a scan to see how bad his shoulder is, where the bullet is, and if there is any internal bleeding. Then they will take him straight to surgery as long as he stays stable.” When Lauren didn’t say anything he said, “It’s going to be a while before we can see him. Maybe you should go back to the room and rest.”

“No, I’m fine. I’m staying.” Will sighed and hung his head. He knew she was stubborn and he really didn’t have the energy to argue with her. “I’m going to go for a walk.”

“I’ll stay,” Mouse said as he nodded towards Lauren. She was still laying with her head on his shoulder. Even though Mouse was still feeling guilty that he hadn’t and couldn’t be there for Jay right now, he knew the next best thing was taking care of his girl. Will nodded as he turned to walk out. He didn’t plan on being gone long, but he just needed some time to himself to clear his head. He knew Mouse would take care of Lauren so he went to find a quiet place to walk.

An hour later he returned to find Lauren asleep. She’d fallen asleep on Mouse, and he didn’t seem to mind. There was no way she was comfortable, but neither wanted to move her for fear of her waking. Mouse was nodding off some, but he couldn’t really sleep. Hospitals always made him jittery, but he had to stay; for Lauren and Jay.

Will sat down next to him. They were comfortable just sitting in silence, waiting.

About 1400, a nurse came to tell them that Jay was out of surgery and the doctor would be with them soon. Lauren had managed to sleep the entire time Jay was in surgery, and Mouse and Will had drifted in and out of sleep most of the time. Mouse carefully nudged her until she was awake. Before she could ask any questions a doctor entered the waiting room.

“Halstead family?” All three stood as he walked closer. “How is he?” Will asked.

“Staff Sargent Halstead is extremely lucky. Neither bullet hit any arteries, veins or organs, but he did lose a lot of blood. We were able to remove the bullet just above his hip and closed both wounds. We did have to give him a blood transfusion, and we are waiting to see if he will require another one. He’s still not totally out of the woods, but things do look hopeful. He’ll be in a private room under careful observation for the next 24 hours, but you are more than welcome to stay with him. We know how important it is to our patient’s recovery to have family with them. He will probably sleep for a while until the anesthesia wears off, but we will closely monitor him for signs of stress. We may have to induce him into a coma if his body doesn’t heal while he is awake, but we will cross that bridge when we get there. I’ll have a nurse come get you once he is settle in his room.”

“Thanks, doctor,” they all three said as the doctor turned to leave.

“Is that good?” Mouse asked.

“Yeah, as long as nothing severe or adverse occurs within the next 24 hours, I’d say he’ll make a complete recovery.” Mouse nodded and Lauren let a sigh of relief. There was a good chance Jay was going to make it.

 

About thirty minutes later, a nurse came and showed them to Jay’s room. Will just walked on in, but Mouse and Lauren hung back at the door. She wasn’t sure she could handle seeing him.

“Lauren, it’s ok. We’ll be with you the whole time. I know it’s hard, believe me do I ever, but Jay, he needs us so we can do this,” Mouse said. He didn’t want to walk in any more than she did, but he knew his best friend needed them.

Lauren nodded as he held the door open for her and followed her in. He looked so vulnerable and helpless. So bruised and battered. He had IVs in both arms. One was for pain meds and the other fluids, Will told them. He had oxygen in his nose; bandages on his shoulder, stomach and one on his head. Will said it was a cut they had had to stitch. He was so pale, so lifeless, it was killing her to see him like that. But Mouse was right; he needed them and that is where she would be.

She pulled a chair up beside his bed and grabbed his hand. She placed a gentle kiss on it before laying it back on the bed. She kept a hold of it as she laid her head down beside it. She felt so tired, despite all the sleep she had gotten. She told herself she was just going to rest for a bit.

Will watched as she slowly gave into the exhaustion. He thought something more was going on than her just being tired from the past two days, but he wasn’t sure. Her body knew what it needed, and if it needed sleep, then he wasn’t going to stop her.

 

Mouse was pacing the hospital room while Lauren slept and Will watched a game on TV. He hated hospitals. They reminded him of his time spent in them after his second tour. The tour that led to his medical discharge which is why he wasn’t there for Jay this time. He felt responsible for Jay laying in the hospital bed now, and if he didn’t wake up soon, Mouse was afraid he was going to lose it.

 

About 1900, Mouse saw Jay’s eyes flutter. “Jay?” he said as he rushed to his bedside. “Can you hear me?” Will heard Mouse’s questions and turned the TV off as he moved to stand at the foot of the bed. “Ask him to squeeze your hand,” Will directed.

“Jay, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand.”

For a second Mouse thought he was imagining things and Jay couldn’t hear them because he didn’t feel anything. But Lauren roused from her sleep saying Jay’s name as a question.

“What is it?” Will asked.

“I thought I felt him squeeze my hand, but I could have been dreaming.”

“Try it again,” Will said to Mouse.

“Jay, squeeze our hand if you can hear me.” Again, Jay squeezed Lauren’s hand.

“Jay?” Lauren said; “Open your eyes. Please look at me,” she begged. Sure enough upon hearing her voice, Jay opened his eyes. He tried to talk, but his throat was too dry. “Shhh, shh. Don’t talk. It’s ok,” she whispered as tears streamed down her face. Will slipped out to let the doctor know he was awake.

 

After the doctor deemed him stable enough to survive without the oxygen, they were left alone with him. He kept staring at Lauren. There was so much he wanted to say to her, but he didn’t know where to start.

The last two days were finally catching up to Will. He told Jay that he was glad he was back, glad he was safe, glad he was on the road to recovery, but he really needed some sleep. So he was going to head back to the hotel. Mouse agreed. Jay could tell the hospital was getting to him, so he didn’t say anything. They tried to get Lauren to go back with them, but she refused. Jay even tried, but she said she wasn’t leaving him. He didn’t have the energy to fight with her so he let it go and let her stay.

After they left, Jay patted the bed beside him. “Jay, I can’t. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“Please,” he whispered. “It’s hurting me more that you’re so far away.” He knew he was playing dirty, but he just wanted her close beside him. That and the puppy dog eyes had her giving in to him, like always. She laid her head on his good shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her.

“I was so scared,” she whispered.

“I know, baby. I was too.” He was quiet for so long that Lauren thought that was all he was going to say. She wasn’t going to push him to talk. She knew he needed to talk to keep the chance of his PTSD returning low, but she wasn’t going to push. Before she could change the subject he said, “When the IED blew the convoy apart, I thought we were all dead. I flashed back to the last time, only I couldn’t find Mouse. I was looking and looking, but he wasn’t there. When the bullets started flying at me, I snapped out of it. I dove for cover, but I wasn’t quick enough. I felt the bullets rip through me, and I just wanted to be home with you. I saw our future together, the life I wanted with you. I saw us getting married, having kids, moving to the cabin one day. That was the only thing that kept me going; coming home to you. I was rescued and everything went black. I don’t remember much, but I remember your beautiful face telling me to come home.”

Lauren didn’t know what to say. “I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered.

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Jay pulled her in for a kiss. It wasn’t long until he fell asleep again. Lauren watched him for the longest, until her eyes became too heavy to hold open and she too fell asleep.


	12. The Next Day

The next day, Lauren told Jay about how her mother reacted. He was less than thrilled, but there wasn’t much he could do until December. He wanted to talk to Kelly about moving her out until she graduated, but he hadn’t gotten the chance yet.

Will and Mouse returned about 1000. Thankfully, they both looked well rested. Lauren decided to give Jay some time with them so she said she was going to the cafeteria. Will decided to join her; Mouse may look well rested, but Will knew he didn’t sleep much. He’d had at least two different dreams/nightmares that woke Will in the night. Each time, he’d tried to get Mouse to talk to him, but he wouldn’t. He was hoping if he gave Mouse time alone with his brother that he would open and up and not send himself into a relapse.

Once Will and Lauren left the room, Jay focused on Mouse. Something was going on with his best friend. Mouse kept walking back and forth at the end of his bed, staring a hole into the floor. “Mouse?” but Mouse didn’t respond.

“Hey, Mouse?” still nothing. “Greg!” That seemed to get his attention. Jay hadn’t called him that since their first few days as Rangers.

“Yea?” he said as he finally looked up at Jay.

“Sit down, will you? You’re making my dizzy watching you walk back and forth,” Jay said with a smirk. Mouse sat down in the chair Lauren had sat in last night. His shoulders were slumped forward and his head hung just a little. “Talk to me Mouse. What is it?”

Mouse took a deep breath and slowly released it. “We’re cool,” he said.

“I know ‘we’re cool’ dude, but somethings wrong.”

“I… uh… I couldn’t sleep last night… I just kept remembering the last time. The dreams… man… they were so real. I woke Will twice. I didn’t mean too, but I guess I was talking in my sleep. Then… I’d see you laying there, Jay. See you with gun shots and blood everywhere, and I couldn’t save you. No matter what I did, I couldn’t save you.”

“Mouse, look at me. I’m right here. I’m still here.” What Jay said didn’t seem to faze him; Mouse was lost in his own world. Jay knew he had to let him get it all out, but it was hard watching his friend live through the dreams again. “It… was… just so real. And then I’d see… Hollingsworth and the jihadist.”

“Mouse, I get it, man, I do.” He couldn’t keep quiet any more.

“Yea. I know you do. I should’ve been there Jay. I should’ve been there this time to help you, again.”

“Mouse, stop. You can’t play the ‘what-if’ game. You don’t know what would’ve happened if you’d been there. It could’ve gone a lot worse. I could’ve still been the only one to make it and then I would’ve lost you. I just… can’t… can’t imagine that. You’re my best friend, my brother, and we have to stop this.” Jay hated thinking this way, but he knew Mouse needed to hear it so he would stop blaming himself.

“Yea, yea, you’re right.”

“Aren’t I always?” Jay asked with a smirk. It at least got Mouse to smile.

“Keep dreaming, Halstead.” Jay was quiet for a minute. He wasn’t sure how much Mouse would know, but he had to ask. “Hey, how is she man? I mean really? She seemed ok last night, but I was so drugged I couldn’t tell if she was just putting on an act or not.”

“She pulled it together for you, man. I think when you woke up, it was the reassurance she needed. She was a mess, Jay. She lost it at the airport, but then she pulled it together. I think she just needed that one good cry, so she could be strong for you later. And did you know, your girl can sleep like the dead?”

Jay chuckled at this; “You have no room to talk, Mouse.”

“I know, but damn, I think she sleeps harder and deeper than me.”

“Yea, probably,” Jay agreed. Once Lauren was asleep, she literally slept like the dead. “I’m glad you were there for her, Mouse. She needed that.”

Before Mouse could reply, Will came back, alone. “Where’s Lauren?”

“Still in the cafeteria. She thought we needed ‘guy time’ or something,” Will said with an eye roll.

“I got it,” Mouse said as he stood to leave. “Hey, Mouse?”

“Yea?”

“Thanks.” Mouse nodded as he went out the door.

 

“Hey,” Mouse said as he sat down across from her.

“Hey,” Lauren said. When she finally looked up at him, he offered her a smile. “Something wrong?” he asked.

She seemed lost in thought. “I’m good,” she whispered.

“I know from experience it’s not good to keep things bottled inside. It eats you alive. Jay’s worried about you.”

Lauren released a deep sigh. “I was so scared, Mouse. I can’t do this without him; I don’t want to. It’s just… a lot to process. Going from so scared to relieved.”

“I know, do I ever know.”

“Mouse?”

“Yea?”

“You ok? Will wouldn’t say anything, just that you needed time with Jay.”

Mouse was quiet. “It’s ok. I get it if you don’t want to talk; I just wanted to make sure you were ok. Let ya know I’m here if you do need someone. You were there for me while Jay was gone, and I just wanted to return the favor if you needed it.”

Jay wasn’t kidding when he said she could ramble either. Must just be when she’s nervous or unsure of herself because this was the first time she’d ever done it around him. He guessed she was afraid she was stepping on some invisible line, but she wasn’t.

“Thanks, Lauren. I talked with Jay so I’m good now, but I’ll remember that. Just memories, ya know.” Lauren nodded.

**Back in Jay’s room:**

“So, how are you, Little Brother?”

“I’m good, Will, promise.” Will nodded. “You can stop being a doctor at any time now.” Will chuckled.

“Always a doctor, you know that.” Jay smiled.

“Mouse said he woke you a couple of times last night..?”

“Yea, he talk to you?” At Jay’s nod, Will breathed a sigh of relief. “Good, I was hoping he would.”

“He’s different, Will. I think he learned holding it in makes it worse. He just has to have the right person to talk too; someone he trusts. Working with us seems to keep him grounded. He’s more like the Mouse I knew in the Rangers. The stability and the structure help him.”

“Yea, I noticed he seems better than when he was just your CI.” Jay laughed. “Yea, he was a little rough back then.”

“I’m glad you’re back Jay.”

“Me too.”

“You done this time?”

“Yea, I got a medical discharge. I don’t guess they thought my shoulder could handle any more combat. But I’m glad. At one time, the Rangers were my saving grace, but now… I don’t need saving. I have you, Lauren, a whole team counting on me. I’m glad to be done.”

“Yea, I’m glad you’re done too.”

They’d just settled into a comfortable silence when Mouse and Lauren returned. Jay was glad that Lauren got along so well with Mouse. She looked tired, but she was still absolutely beautiful to him.

She crawled back into the bed with him and Mouse pulled up another chair. In between nurse and doctor visits, they caught Jay up on all he’d missed in the city the last two weeks. Mouse shared the story of Lauren’s surprise visit the weekend after he left. Of course, he told how drunk she got and how he had to take her back to Jay’s because she could barely hold her head up. Then she told how Will had made her drink that awful drink and Jay had to laugh.

He hated that she felt so lonely she got really drunk for the first time, but he was glad Mouse & Will were looking out for her. He wish it had been him, but nothing he could do about it now. Jay shared how Will had come up with concoction in med school, but amazingly it worked every time. Jay had drank it several times, and she wasn’t kidding when she said it was awful, but it was better than hair of the dog for sure.

Lauren made it until they brought Jay’s supper. It was supposed to be some kind of broth to help ease him back into foods, but the smell made her so sick. She bolted off the bed and straight to the bathroom where she was so sick. Will followed her, and Jay turned to ask Mouse, “She been sick a lot?”

Mouse shrugged and shook his head no. She had not been sick any while they were around her, and if she’d been sick at home, she hadn’t mentioned it. “Must just be the stress,” Mouse offered. Jay didn’t have a better explanation so he let it go.

After that she just wanted to sleep. They could tell Jay was wearing down too, so Will and Mouse promised to return in the morning with something more edible for breakfast. Jay tried to send Lauren with them, but she said she would sleep better next to him. Jay couldn’t argue with that because he always slept better when she was near, so he let her stay.

 

The next day was pretty much the same. The doctor told them as long as Jay kept recovering well, they could release him by the middle of the week. That was good news, but Lauren didn’t know what she was going to do about school.

When Will and Mouse went out for lunch, Jay told Lauren she didn’t need to miss any school. It would just be something her mother would hold against her and them. Lauren tried arguing that she needed to stay with him. “Hey, I’ll see you next weekend, baby. Remember, you’re coming to Chicago? I’ll be home by then.” Before she could say anything else Will and Mouse returned.

“Will, can you take Lauren to the airport tonight?” Lauren looked ready to kill him, but Will knew Jay wouldn’t want her staying past today, especially after she told him how her mother had reacted.

“Uh… yea… sure.” He knew his answer wouldn’t make her happy, but he could handle it. In this case whatever Jay wanted he’d get. Guess that’s what happens when your little brother is laid up in a hospital bed.

While watching a Cubs game, Chicago Med called to see if there was any way Will could return. One of the surgeons had gotten sick, and they really needed Will if at all possible. Will ran it by Jay, and Jay told him to go. Mouse offered to stay; it was the least he could do.

Jay promised to call her every day and she made Mouse promise, or more or less threatened him if he didn’t, call if something with Jay changed. It was hard leaving him at the hospital, but deep down she knew Jay was right. She couldn’t give her mom anything else to hold against her. Because come December she was planning on moving as long as everything stayed good between them.


	13. Labor Day Weekend part 1

The next week seemed to drag for Lauren. She just wanted to be with Jay, but she was stuck at school. She texted him off and on all day when he wasn’t sleeping. Mouse kept her updated too. At night, she would call and talk to Jay before bed. Those conversations were her favorite, simply because she could hear his voice. Jay was released from the hospital on Wednesday. Mouse was taking him back to Chicago where any other medical attention would come from Will.

Lauren was so thankful he was going home. She knew he was lucky, and she couldn’t wait to see him again. By Friday, she was practically giddy. He had skyped her last night, telling her how much he missed her, how much he really needed a better nurse. He said his brother didn’t have any bedside manners, but Will joined in the conversation and said it was because Jay was just too stubborn.

Lauren laughed at the brothers’ banter. She knew they both meant well. She told Jay her plane would land at O’Hare at 1800 and Kelly would be picking her up. She promised he would be bringing her straight to Jay’s.

Jay was glad. He had missed her. The time she was with him in the hospital wasn’t enough. Oh he understood, but he just wanted her back in his arms. He couldn’t wait for the day she’d be there permanently.

On Friday afternoon, Lauren left school feeling like she was floating in the clouds. In just a few hours she would be back in Jay’s arms. She couldn’t wait. She knew he was mostly recovered, or at least that’s what he said, but she was looking forward to just spending the weekend with him, taking care of him. She’d promised Kelly that they would come to Molly’s for a party on Labor Day, but honestly, this weekend was all about Jay for her.

When she landed at O’Hare, she practically ran off the plane. Kelly was waiting on her; “Well, it’s so good to see you too, Sis,” he said with a laugh.

“Hi, Kel.”

“You’re awful,” he observed.

“Just glad to be back,” she said with a wink.

“Mmm hmm,” he said.

“Oh, come on Kel, you know it’s the truth.”

“Yea, you’re just glad to be back with Halstead.”

“So, what? I’m happy aren’t I?” she tossed back. She knew Kelly was just giving her a hard time.

“You are, which makes me happy. I really am glad to see you,” he said.

“And I’m really glad to see you.”

“Come on, I know someone who is dying to see you,” he said with an eye roll. Jay had called him earlier to make sure her plane was still on time. He sounded just as excited as his sister looked.

Lauren could hardly sit still in car. “Would you chill? You act like this is the first time you’re ever seeing him or something,” Kelly said laughing.

“I’m just excited.”

“Believe me I can tell.” She wasn’t telling Kelly exactly why she was so happy because her brother really didn’t need all those details. She just hoped Will was at work, all weekend long. When Kelly pulled up outside Jay’s apartment, Lauren practically jumped from the car.

“Hey, hey, slow down. At least let me get your stuff.”

“Oh, yea, right,” Lauren said with a giggle. “I about forgot.”

“Oh, Sis, you have it bad.”

“I know,” she said as she took her bag from him. “Thanks, Kel. I really appreciate it.”

“I know you do.” He pulled her in for a hug. “I’m really glad you’re happy.” He felt her smile; “Now, go see your man,” he said as he let her go. Once she was inside the building Kelly drove off. He’d be surprised if he saw his sister any this weekend, but it was ok. He hadn’t seen her this happy, ever; not even the first time they were together. She deserved it, he thought as he drove off.

Lauren skipped the elevator and ran up the stairs to Jay’s apartment. She wasn’t in the mood to wait on the elevator. When she got in front of his door, she stopped to catch her breath before knocking. She had to remember he was still recovering and she couldn’t just jump his bones the minute she saw him. Once she felt more in control, she knocked.

Jay answered the door in just sweat pants. She had to bite her tongue to keep it from licking her lips. Damn if he wasn’t so sexy, even with two decent size bandages covering his still healing wounds.

“Hey,” he whispered in that rough sexy voice of his.

“Hey,” she said.

“You coming in or are you staring all night?”

“Oh, sorry,” she said with the biggest smile. “I was just admiring this really sexy guy that I haven’t seen in a while.”

“Oh, yea?” he said as he pulled her into the apartment. Once the door was closed, he walked her back into it.

“Jay,” she breathed out right before he locked her lips in a searing kiss. “Damn, baby, I’ve missed you.”

“Jaaayy, I’ve missed you too. So much.”

“Mmmm,” he says as she runs her tongue along his lips.

She puts her hands on his shoulders slowing them down. “This is not how it’s supposed to go. You’re still recovering, and I’m sure Will has said ‘no strenuous activities,’” she says with a giggle. “So you are going to go relax on the couch, and I will fix some supper.”

Jay groans in frustration. He just wants her, so bad. It’d been almost three weeks since he’d felt her body wrapped around his, and he needed her. “Baby,” he says.

“No, Jay. My rules tonight. So go, relax.” Jay groans again as she wiggles out around him and heads toward the kitchen. “I’ll make it worth it,” she calls as she opens the cabinets. She heard him groan again and she could only laugh. She was just as hot for him as he was for her, but she had to make sure he was ok first.

She made them soup and grilled cheese. Obviously Will had not been to the store in a few days because there really wasn’t much to choose from. “Sorry, this was the only thing decent I could find to make,” she said as she handed him a bowl of soup and sandwich.

“It’s ok. Will’s been working a lot, and I have ate that much so it’s worked.”

“Speaking of, where is Will?”

“Oh, he... uh... he picked up a shift tonight. Something about a doctor working ER needing the night off… I don’t know… I didn’t ask a lot of questions.”

Lauren was holding in her laughter. “Ok, so basically he traded with someone so we would have the apartment to ourselves.”

“Yea I guess,” Jay said still playing dumb. He wasn’t going to admit to asking Will to take the extra shift, but Will had been more than happy too. Even though Jay had not been cleared for duty, Will had told him, before going to the hospital for the night that as long as he was careful not to rip any stitches that sex was not out of the question. And that was all the clearance Jay needed.

“Jay,” she whispered.

“What, beautiful?”

“I want you so bad, but you’re still recovering.” Her being so honest with him… God it was the biggest turn on for him.

He leaned over and kissed her neck, her ear. He knew all her spots. “Will said as long as we were careful and didn’t rip any stitches it was fine.”

This cause Lauren to groan. “We play this my way, my rules.”

“Oh, yea?”

“Yea. Now I’m taking these dishes to the kitchen, and when I get back be ready.” As she walked out the only thought Jay had was _I’m ready now._

When she came back, she had on this sexy lingerie and heels, sex heels is what they looked like to him. She sat down on his lap facing him. “Oh, Baby… where did this come from?” He asked running his fingers along the cup of her lacy bra.

“Shay and Gabby took me shopping over the summer; said I needed something sexier if I was going to be staying with you any.”

“Remind me thank them later,” he said as she leaned down to kiss him.

“Remember, my rules, my way,” she said. She kissed his face, down his neck, across both sides of his collarbone. When she came to his bandaged shoulder, she kissed all around the bandage. “Does it hurt still?”

“Nothing hurts right now,” he whispered. He was running his fingers through her hair. He loved being in control, but this, this side of her that he only saw occasionally was definitely doing it for him.

She kissed down his chest. She ran her tongue along his abs, trailing her fingers behind her mouth. She could feel the goosebumps popping up along his skin. “Damn, baby,” he whispered. When she got to his hips, she pulled just a little on his sweats. He got her meaning, and he raised his hips just enough for her to pull them off.

She should’ve known that would be all he had on. She kissed across both of his hips. She kissed around the bandage just above his hip, same as she did his shoulder. She ran her fingers along his hips. She followed her mouth with her fingers. She ran her fingers down the crease at his hips.

She casually brushed her fingers across his dick. It was already so hard for her. “Mmmm,” she hummed at his groan. “What do you want, Jay?”

“You know what I want,” he gritted out.

“Not good enough,” she said as she blew a hot breath across his dick, causing it to jump towards her.

“Lauren, baby.”

“Say it, Jay, say it.”

He hated and loved giving in to her. He liked control, he liked being the one to make her beg for it, but ever so often, and apparently tonight was one of those nights, she returned the sweet torture.

He held out as long as he could. He wanted her bad enough. “Please,” he whispered in that rough sexy way his voice got when he was turned on. She lightly kissed the head; “Please what?” she asked.

Jay growled. He looked her straight in the eyes as he said, “Please, Lauren.” That was enough for her. Just looking in his eyes always turned her into a puddle, but when he stared at her with those piercing blue eyes and said please, she would do whatever he wanted.

She slowly slid her mouth down around him. He had his hands wrapped in her hair. “Damn, Baby,” he said. She slowly slid up and down, running her tongue around him. She did this over and over, taking him all the way into her mouth each time. It was too slow, he needed more.

“Lauren, baby, mi precioso. Me estás matando.”

She raised her head to look into his eyes; “If I’m killing you, make me stop.”

Jay heard the radio change songs. It was Chase Rice’s newest song, “Ride.” He knew that had easily become one of Lauren’s newest favorite songs; he looked deep into her eyes. He knew she was so turned on; he reached for her hands as he pulled her up to him. “Ride me,” he whispered.

That was all Lauren needed to hear. She could hear the lyrics in the background to her favorite song.

_Take off those heels, lay on my bed Whisper dirty secrets while I'm pulling on your hair Poison in our veins but we don't even care Candles drippin' on your body, baby this ain't truth or dare Everybody wonders where we've run off to My body on your body, baby stickin' like some glue Naughty, let's get naughty girl, it's only one or two The fever's fucking runnin', feel the heat between us two I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride I'm, I'm gon' ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'm gon' take care of your body, I'll be gentle, don't you scream It's gettin' hotter, make it softer, feel your chest on top of me I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride I'm, I'm gon' ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'm gon' make you feel that lovin', gettin' weak all in your knees Kiss your body from the tip-top all the way down to your feet_

She slowly pulled the bikini bottoms off and tossed them over her shoulder. She reached back to undo the clasp on her bra, but he stopped her. He reached around and did it for her as he planted kisses along her collarbone. He knew her weak spots, and he was hoping to regain control. But she managed to stop him.

She pushed him back against the couch. “My rules,” she whispered. She tossed the bra somewhere in the living room. She kicked the heels off too. She slowly sank down on to him. It was like coming home. She sat still just long enough to adjust. She was pretty sure she saw Jay’s eyes roll back into his head.

“Damn… baby… so hot… so wet… you have me so turned on.”

_Yeahhh girl, we can go slow (Woah, Woah, Yeah) Yeah, we can go slow (Woah, Woah, Woah, Yeah, Woah, Oh, Oh, Yeah, Yeah)_

 

“I know, Jay, I know,” She said as she started sliding up and down. He had her on the edge just by looking at her. As she picked up the rhythm, Jay raised his head to look at her. The things his eyes did to her. “Hermosa, so fucking sexy,” he said as he grabbed her hips. The feel of him sliding in and out of her had her giving up control.

He kept her rhythm steady. “Look at me,” he whispered. She opened her eyes to see his blue ones staring into her. God she was close. “More,” she demanded.

Jay used his hands to guide her hips into a faster rhythm. “Permítanme veo venir” (Let me watch you come.) God he was so close. “Lauren,” he said as he sucked on her neck. “Baby, I’m close.”

“Me too, Jay, me too.” Her breath was coming in short bursts. He knew what he had to do. He laid her back some, so the angel changed. It made her tighter and God it felt amazing. “Jaaayyy, please,” she begged.

With just two more thrust, she came apart in his arms. He felt her orgasm crash over her, as her muscles clinched him tight. He thrust just once more and he came too, her orgasm milking his. When it was over, he pulled her back up to his chest.

“You are absolutely perfect,” he whispered in her ear. “The things you do to me, damn girl.”

Lauren was seriously at a loss for words. She was so happy and content. She stayed sitting on his lap until she caught her breath. As she started to climb off, she felt that he was already hard inside of her again. “Jaaaayyy,” she moaned.

“Yea, I know. It’s your fault,” he said as he laid her out on the couch. He never once slipped out of her. He was now on top. “My turn,” he said as he started kissing on her.

_Lay on your back, like you're right there Don't have to say it twice, love, there's nothing here to fear Takin' it back, back to where it's clear Rollin' on and on, sounds of love are in the air I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride I'm, I'm gon' ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'm gon' take care of your body, I'll be gentle, don't you scream It's gettin' hotter, make it softer, feel your chest on top of me I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride I'm, I'm gon' ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'm gon' make you feel that lovin', gettin' weak all in your knees Kiss your body from the tip-top all the way down to your feet (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh Ooh, Woah, Oh, Woah, Oh, Oh, Oh)_

 

She knew she was in trouble. He sucked on her nipples. Flicking, sucking, nipping. God it was so much, especially since he was still buried inside her. “Jaaayyy.”

“What, baby.”

“I can’t… it’s too much.”

“You can. You know you can.” Oh it was sweet torture. He kept sucking kept flicking. She could feel her orgasm building again. “Jay, Jay… I’m…” she couldn’t form a complete thought.

“I know, baby, I know. Ven por mi.” It was a demand as he took one nipple into his mouth sucking it like he would her clit. His hand was teasing the other one. He blew cool air across her nipple; he could tell she was fighting it. “I said, come for me,” and he sucked on her nipple. He rocked his hips ever so slightly. “

It was just enough to make her come. “Fuuuckkk…. Jaaaayyyy.” He slowed his tongue as she came down. “Tan Hermosa.” So beautiful. He rocked again, “Jay,” she whispered.

“Yea, pretty girl?”

She totally forgot what she was going to say as he slowly rocked in and out of her. “Open your eyes, watch me as I love you, baby.” Lauren lazily opened her eyes. She looked into his eyes as he rocked in and out; “Baby, I love you so much.” Watching her come just a few minutes ago had him so ready, but he wanted her with him one more time.

“Jay, make me come,” she whispered. And what little control he had left was gone.

He pulled her legs up around his waist as he thrust harder and faster. “Come on, baby,” he whispered into her ear.

“So close, Jay, so close.”

He took one hand and reached between them to rub her clit. “Jay… Fuck… Jay…”

“That’s it baby, let go.” She opened her eyes to find him staring at her. And that was all it took. She came around him shouting his name as his orgasm ripped from him. He felt her milk him one last time.

He hated to admit it but he was tired. This was the most activity he’d had in a week, but it was the absolute best. “Come on,” he said as he climbed off of her. “Let’s go to bed.” Lauren took his hand as he led her to her his bed.

“I might not let you out of here tomorrow,” he whispered as he pulled her close. Lauren giggled. “That is ok with me.” Jay snuggled her close. It felt so good to have her back in his arms. It look probably less than five minutes for her breathing to even out, letting him know she was asleep. He brushed a curl out of her face as he watched her sleep.

He was tired no doubt, but watching her sleep was wonderful. She was so peaceful and content when she slept and he loved it. But it wasn’t long before his eyes were too heavy to hold open and he too drifted off to sleep. His last thought was, _this is going to be one of the best weekends._

 

_The sun's comin' up, you're on my side I rub your thigh, you look in my eyes And I just see the sky (see the sky), I'm so high And I ain't smoked yet, I'm just coming down from this I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride I'm, I'm gon' ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night I'm gon' take care of your body, I'll be gentle, don't you scream (take care of your body) It's gettin' hotter, make it softer, feel your chest on top of me I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride, I'm gon' ride I'm, I'm gon' ride on you baby, on you lady all night, all night (night) I'm gon' make you feel that lovin', gettin' weak all in your knees Kiss your body from the tip-top all the way down to your feet (Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Ooh, Ooh, Ooh)_


	14. Labor Day Weekend part 2

The next morning, Jay awoke before Lauren. They were both on their sides and he was laying behind her with his arm wrapped around her. She had the softest smile gracing her face and she looked like an angel. He was seriously the luckiest guy ever. He wanted to snap a picture of this moment; he thought it would be perfect to update the picture at the cabin beside his, no their, bed.

He rolled just enough to reach the bedside table and grab his phone. He was trying to figure out how to hold the phone where it would get both of them in the picture, when there was a knock on the bedroom door. Jay pulled the covers up where Lauren would be completely covered before softly calling out “Come in.”

Will padded softly into the room. “Just wanted you to know that I was home. I have about 5 hours before I have to be back at the hospital for my regular shift so I plan on sleeping.”

“Ok,” Jay said. “Hey, Will?”

“Yea?”

“Can you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what?”

“Take our picture?”

“You’re serious?” Will tried to hold in his laughter. His brother really had it bad.

“Yea. Look at her. She’s perfect. When she’s sleeping she’s so peaceful and look she’s smiling. So just take the damn picture.”

Will smirked as Jay handed him the phone. He rolled so he was wrapped back around her. Will walked around to her side of the bed. “OK, fine you’re right. She will like this picture.”

Jay smirked just the slightest and Will snapped the picture. They were both smiling, and Will had to admit it was a pretty damn good pic.

“Thanks, Will.”

“Yea, no problem,” he said as he walked out to head to bed. Jay put his phone back on the table. His shoulder was starting to hurt, but he was trying to ignore it. He wrapped his arm around her as he lightly kissed her shoulder. Slowly he moved down her arm, down her side to her hip. He rolled her so she was on her back and he kissed her stomach. She was so sexy.

He kissed up her stomach, across the tops of both her breasts, across her collarbone lightly sucking. He kissed up her neck, to her ear where he gently sucked it between his lips. He kissed across her forehead and then sucked on her other ear before kissing down that side of her neck.

She was moving ever so slightly in her sleep. He knew he was turning her on, and before long she would wake up. He sucked on first one nipple and then the other. He made sure to keep it slow and sweet; just enough so she wouldn’t know if it was a dream or reality. He moved back down her stomach, and lightly nibbled at each hip.

He kissed across her pelvic bone, down her right leg, and back up her left. His shoulder was screaming in protest at supporting his weight, but he ignored it. Loving on her would make it all worth it. As he slowly spread her legs, he heard her moan ever so softly. He blew a breath across her opening.

She was squirming against him. God he loved it. He placed gentle kisses along the outside of her lips, being careful not to spread her just yet. “Jay,” she softly moaned.

“Yea, baby, that’s it. Wake up pretty girl.” He slowly spread her lips open. “Mmm Jaaayy.”

“Yea, baby?”

He looked up at her to see her eyes open, staring at him. He gave her his signature smile that always brought out his dimples. He slowly lowered his head, slowly slipped his tongue between her spread lips, and slowly licked up alongside her clit.

Lauren was trying her hardest to buck against him, but he had her hips pinned. “Relax, Hermosa. We have all the time in the world.”

“Mmmmm Jaaaayyy.”

“I know. You love it when I take it slow don’t you?” he asked as he licked up and down in the slowest of rhythms. God he had her right there on the edge without much effort.

He slowly sucked her clit between his lips and when he lightly bit it, she came apart in his arms. “Yea, baby, just like that.” He slowly brought her back down, and then slowly slipped two fingers into her. “Fuck… Jaaayy…”

“I know baby,” he said as he slowly moved his fingers in and out. “Feel me baby? Fell me moving in and out?”

Lauren didn’t have the words. He was driving her crazy. He still had her hips pinned where she couldn’t move, couldn’t make him speed up. The slow rhythm was driving her wild and he knew it. “Jaaayyy, plllleeeasseee.”

“Mmm, please what?” he said as he warm breath blew against her tingling skin. He flicked his finger across her g-spot; he knew just all the right buttons to push.

“Uggghhhh… please… Jay… please.”

She was right there and he knew it. “Dilo (say it) Lauren.”

Lauren fought for that control, and when she didn’t respond he stilled his fingers inside of her. He knew what she wanted, but he loved, absolutely loved, hearing her say it. “Jjjaaayyy...”

“Just say it, baby.”

“Fuck… Jay… ugh… please,” she tried bucking her hips but he held her still. When she couldn’t take it anymore she said, “Make me come, Jay.” And that was all it took. He started moving his fingers again, and he sucked on her clit. Two more thrusts and she came apart again. God he loved watching her come. The way her back arched, her muscles squeezed him, hearing her scream his name… God the things it did to him.

As she came back down, he crawled up her body. He left his fingers still inside of her. “So beautiful, so fucking sexy, God I love you, Lauren.”

“I love you too,” she said looking into his eyes. “More, Jay, I need more. I need you.”

Jay captured her lips in a kiss. He slowly pulled his fingers out. “Baby… I…” he didn’t want to tell her how much pain he was in because she would feel bad, but damn it he wanted her too.

“What Jay?” When she looked closer, she could see pain in his eyes. “Jay, what hurts, what is it?”

He took a deep breath, “My shoulder… it’s killing me.”

“Roll over,” she said as she pushed him onto his back. She climbed on top of him. “You shoulda said something. There’s more than one way this works,” she said as she leaned down to kiss him as she slowly sank on to him.

“Damn, baby. You’re always so wet and ready for me.”

Lauren slowly started sliding up and down. She loved the feeling of him deep inside of her. She wanted to savor every minute. He’d gone slow with her this morning so by God she was going slow with him. Payback was always sweet torture.

Jay was gritting his teeth as she slowly moved up and down. He wanted more, much more, but he knew it was payback. He loved it but damn…

He put his hands on her hips. “Look at me beautiful.” When she opened her eyes he said, “God, I love you, but you’re killing me.”

She slightly picked up the pace. “This what you want?” she asked with a smirk.

“You know I want more,” he gritted out.

“Pero Te quiero a caballo tan lento,” she whispered in his ear. He knew she could translate his Spanish pretty good because he’d taught her all the phrases he used on her, but he didn’t realize she had practiced speaking it. Hearing her say, “But I love riding you slow,” in Spanish had to be the biggest turn on. He couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed her hips to hold her still. When she looked at him he said, “Fuck me, beautiful. Give me what I want.”

Lauren couldn’t hold back anymore. She rode him hard and fast. It didn’t take long before she was teetering on the edge again. “Jay… I’m… gonna….”

“I know, baby, me too,” he managed to say as he felt her orgasm rip through her. Her muscles clamped down on him as she rode him in small jerks. Hearing her scream his name, feeling her squeeze him was too much, and he fell over the cliff with her. When they were both spent, she laid with her head on his good shoulder.

“Want me to get you some medicine?” she asked. At Jay’s nod, she climbed out bed. Luckily the medicine was in the bathroom so she didn’t have to get dressed. She brought him back the pill and a glass of water. When he swallowed, he pulled her back into bed beside him.

“When did you start speaking Spanish?” he asked as he spooned her from behind lightly kissing her neck.

“I started practicing when I went back home in August. I wanted to be able to say things back.”

“It was the sexiest thing ever,” he whispered in her ear. Lauren couldn’t help but smile.

It wasn’t long before she felt Jay start to drift off behind her. A nap wasn’t a bad idea. She was feeling pretty tired. Later, she woke up and decided to make them lunch. She was starving. She pulled on one of Jay’s t-shirts and a pair of shorts.

In the kitchen, Will was eating take-out at the bar. “Hi,” he said as she walked around the counter. She had no idea how long he’d been here, so she wasn’t sure if he’d heard them or not, but she had definitely not been quiet.

Lauren couldn’t help but blush. “Hi,” she said. “Have a good shift?”

“Oh... uh... yea. It wasn’t too bad. I’m fixing to head back for my regular shift.”

“Oh. Yea right. Jay said you’d swapped with someone last night.” She had a feeling Jay had asked him to switch, but she knew neither brother would admit to it.

“Yea. Anyways, I ordered take-out. I figured you all might be hungry. Speaking of, where’s Jay.”

“Oh he’s still asleep. I gave him a pain pill about an hour ago. Said his shoulder was hurting. Anyways, I was hungry so I decided I’d make us lunch.”

So that explained why the last hour had been quiet, Will thought. Not that he would dare say anything to her, but he was amused. “Well, now you don’t have to cook.”

“Yea, thanks,” she said as she took a container of teriyaki chicken fried rice. “Is there more than one container of this?” she asked.

“Yep. I remembered how much you liked it, and I wasn’t sure if you’d want to share or not so I ordered you one of your own.”

“Thanks, Will,” she said as she placed a sisterly kiss on his cheek. “I’ve been craving this stuff for a week now.”

“You’re welcome,” he said. He finished up and out his dishes in the sink. “Call me if you or Jay need anything. I have a short shift, so I should be home by 2200.”

“OK, thanks.”

Just as Will was getting ready to leave, Jay walked out looking for Lauren. “Well nice to see you’re still among the living,” Will said as Jay walked by.

“Yea, yea. You heading out?”

“Yep. I’ll be on shift until 2200 and then I’ll be back here to crash.”

Jay nodded as he sat down by Lauren on the couch.

“Yum takeout,” he said he tried to steal a bite.

“Oh, no mister. Yours is in the kitchen,” she said as she smacked his hand away. Jay just laughed as he got up and went to the kitchen. After Will left, they curled up on the couch and watched a movie on Netflix. It was some chick flick she’d been wanting to see. He really didn’t pay much attention to it. He loved just watching her. After the movie, he seduced her on the couch again. He was really loving his couch.

That night they went to bed early. Lauren said she was super tired and Jay didn’t argue. The next day was Sunday and Will had the day off. Jay awoke with the sun, but Lauren slept until 1030. It was unusual, but he just thought she needed the sleep. Will slept until well past noon. Pulling double shifts always wore him out, but he didn’t mind.

Once everyone was up and about, Will suggested they go the park. It was a nice day, and they were having some kind of Labor Day festival he wanted to check out. Jay and Lauren didn’t have anything planned so they thought why not. It turned out to be fun. There was music, drinks, games, and tons of people. Even with only one good shoulder, Jay won Lauren a teddy bear in some shooting game. His shot was still perfect.

That night they all three watched Hot Pursuit. Jay and Will both had to admit that it was a pretty funny movie. After that, they all went to bed. Tomorrow was Labor Day, and they had a big party to attend.

Labor Day dawned bright and clear. Will had fixed them all breakfast. Over pancakes, the three of them made plans to attend the boat races on the river. Will was glad they agreed to go; he loved spending time with them. Felt like he was catching up on lost time. Jay and Lauren watched the latest episode of Rookie Blue while Will read up on a patient.

About lunch, they started getting ready. It wasn’t excessively hot, so Lauren decided on jeans and a tank with a light sweater. At the river, Jay stood with his hands wrapped around her waist. Will wander off to see if they could get any closer. Jay lightly nipped at her ear as the boats were lining up.

No one was really paying them any attention, and he wanted to see if he still had the magic touch, well voice in this case. “Jay, stop it,” she lightly admonished.

“Oh, come on, Lauren. No one’s paying us any attention.”

“Yea, well Will will be back any minute I’m sure.”

“Na. I think he found him some chick to talk to.” Jay had seen him talking to a girl a few hundred feet away. He knew Will would be occupied for a bit.

Lauren couldn’t help but snort. Will was all the time finding some female to talk to. He placed gentle kisses along her neck. “You know I can make you come just from talking to you.”

“Mmm Jay,” she whispered.

“Was that a yes I heard?”

Lauren was biting her lip to keep from moaning out loud. He knew what he was doing and she was powerless to stop it. He kissed up and down her neck;

“Baby, you’re so sexy. If we were at home, I’d slowly peel this sweater off your shoulders. I kiss all around the tops of your shoulders, across your collarbone, just lightly sucking on it. Then I’d peel the straps of this tank top down your shoulders, and pull it over your head. I’d run my tongue along the tops of the cups of that sexy lace bra I know you put on just to drive me wild.”

Lauren was fighting to keep her moans in. Not being able to moan or anything heightened her sense of pleasure and he knew it. His voice was so sexy when he talked dirty to her. She loved hearing every little thing he would do to her.

“Then I’d kiss down your stomach; kneel in front of you as I undid the snap on your jeans. Slowly pull them off your legs, kissing my way down to your feet. Then I’d kiss back up, stopping at your hips to place kisses, breathe in your scent.”

“Fuck, Jay,” she whispered when he stopped for a breath.

“Then I’d kiss back up; undo your bra and toss it aside. I’d slowly kiss all around your breast, making sure to kiss every inch of them. Then slowly tease your nipples into hard peaks. Making sure to tease you good.”

Jay had only kissed on her neck, but Lauren was so wet, so turned on. “Jay, let’s go somewhere else.”

“No, my beautiful girl. I’m going to make you come right here, just listening to me.”

It was pure torture. That’s what it was, but Lauren loved it. No one was watching and even if they were, it appeared as if they were just watching the race as a couple.

“Then once I knew I had you wet, I would slowly peel that sexy lace thong down your legs. I’d walk you back until your back was against the wall. God, would I ever kiss you, pin your hands above your head. Then when I had you right there on the edge, I’d reach down and run my finger along your clit.”

“Shit, Jay.”

“What do you want, baby?”

“God… just hurry up,” she said. Her breaths were short pants. He knew he had her close, but he was going to drag it out just a tad bit more.

“I’d spread your wetness all around, making sure I had everything ready. Then when you couldn’t stand it any longer, I’d grab your hips and pull you up so your legs wrapped around me. I’d slowly, slowly slide into that wet heat. I’d kiss all the spots I know get you going, like your pulse point, your collarbone, and then when you were begging me, I thrust. In and out.”

Jay could see her fighting the orgasm he knew she was close to having. She was biting her lip so hard, he was afraid she was going to draw blood. “Relax, Hermosa.”

“Jay,” she hissed.

He turned her around so he could look into her eyes, watch her come. “In and out, getting faster, harder deeper. You’re begging me. I nip at your ear, tell you how fucking sexy you are. You can feel me close too. Thrusting in and out over and over. I slip one hand between us, brush across your clit as I thrust in, and you come apart in my arms.”

It was the sexiest thing ever watching her come standing right there. “Yea, that’s it baby, come for me.” And she did.

“Damn you, Jay Halstead,” she said as he pulled her in for a kiss.

“What, baby?”

“God, now I want you. So bad.”

“Maybe later,” he whispers as he spins her around to see the winner cross the finish line. Will came wandering back as the race was over. They had just an hour until the party at Molly’s. They decided to go on over and see if they needed help setting up.

Everybody from the fire hall and the station were in attendance. It was an absolute fun party. Lauren was the only one not drinking. She just wasn’t feeling it, especially when her flight was leaving in about 3 hours at 1900. Jay wasn’t drinking much because he still was taking pain pills, so one beer was enough for him. He found it odd that Lauren wasn’t drinking, but he figured she didn’t want to be sick during flight.

An hour and a half before her flight, she and Jay told everyone goodbye. Back at the apartment, as soon as the door closed, Lauren pushed him against the wall. He was going to finish what he started at the river. Because of his still healing wounds, they made it to the couch before he took her one more time, hard and fast.

This goodbye wasn’t as hard as the others. She had right at a month before she would be back in Chicago, but they were in a good place and she was happy. She promised to call him as soon as she landed. It’d had been one of the best weekends since summer, and she couldn’t wait to come back.


	15. A Really Bad Week

Once Lauren got home, things were ok; nothing was extraordinary. Her mom was giving her hell over Jay and how all she did was go to Chicago. She said she barely recognized Lauren anymore and she didn’t like it. Lauren tried tuning her out, but honestly it was driving her crazy the way her mom was acting.

She managed to make it through the week by talking to Jay all the time. She occasionally would talk to Wes. They were still friends, good friends, but ever since she and Jay had been back together, things were different. He constantly offered to let her stay the night, but she couldn’t. She’d promised Jay that the sleepovers were done, and she was going to keep that promise.

The next week, things got worse. She had a tripped planned to go to Chicago not this coming weekend, but the next. Her mom and Michael were on her case about being at home and staying away from Chicago, and she couldn’t take it. Of course they had all these threats of what they were going to do if she didn’t listen, but she had heard enough. She was reaching her breaking point, and it was only Monday morning.

By lunch, her mom text telling her that her “great-uncle,” someone that she wasn’t really related to, but she’d been close to all her life, was in ICU and wasn’t expected to make it. Later that night, Wes called out of the blue. He told her that his ex-boss, someone he’d worked for for three years and Lauren knew pretty well in those three years, had passed away. He wanted to know if she’d go with him to the funeral; he didn’t want to go alone and she understood.

She was feeling so overwhelmed. She just wanted Jay, wanted to feel his arms around her, but he was almost 600 miles away. That night, he let her cry it out on the phone. He couldn’t hold her but he listened. He told her how much he loved her and wanted to be there with her.

On Thursday, Lauren had a really bad day at school. It just added to what had already been going on that week. She called Jay from school in tears. He was at work and when he heard her practically sobbing, he couldn’t stand it. He was in the middle of making her feel better, when Kelly started calling. It was unusual for Kel to call that early so she told Jay she’d call him back.

Kelly’s call wasn’t good; he was calling to tell her that Benny had been in a fire and was at Chicago Med. Will had been the ER doctor in charge, which Kelly and Lauren were both thankful for, but he couldn’t give them good news. He said Benny’s lungs had inhaled way too much smoke and things weren’t looking good. Right then, he was getting 60% oxygen, but Will had a feeling the percentage would increase steadily.

Lauren felt the weight of the world crushing her. Even though he didn’t have anything to do with her, he was still her father. Lauren told Kelly she had the funerals to go to this weekend that she didn’t think she could come up; she was torn. She needed to go to the funerals, but this was her father. Kelly told her not to worry; the funeral for her “great-uncle” was more important. He’d been there for her more than Benny ever had been.

That night, Jay skyped her. Seeing her so upset, so hurt and sobbing, broke him; broke his heart right in two. He should be there with her; should be holding her and promising to make everything better. It was almost enough to make him take the day off and come down, but she told him it would be ok; next weekend she was coming up. Jay didn’t like it, but he needed to work. He was paying most of the bills (that Kelly wasn’t) because she couldn’t work, so they really needed the money between the two of them.

Halfway through the conversation, Lauren got sick, so sick. Jay was really worried about her. This had been a really hard week, and now she was sick without anyone to take care of her. He was really beating himself up for not being there. He stayed on skype with her until she fell asleep. It didn’t take her long after throwing up; she was exhausted and Jay knew.

Friday was visitation for both people. She went to her “great-uncle’s” by herself. Wes was just getting off work when she got there. It was one of the hardest things she’d had to do in a while. She held it together until she left. Then in the car, the whole way to Wes’s she cried, sobbed her heart out. It probably wasn’t smart to be driving, but she made it safely.

Once there, she had mostly calmed down, but it hurt. God did it ever hurt. Wes hugged her tight. He’d missed their easy friendship. He offered her the comfort she needed. He tried to kiss her, but Lauren stopped him. This was not how it was supposed to be; they were friends and nothing else. Wes pulled back, but she could see he was crushed. Apparently she had been overlooking his feelings.

Her week had been too much; she didn’t know how to handle it, so she dropped it. She told him they would just forget it, and Wes just nodded. She went to the funeral home with him, and by the time they left she was exhausted. It had been one hell of week, but she was counting down. Just six more days and she would be back in Chicago.

Over the weekend and the beginning of the next week, Kelly would call with updates on Benny. They had to keep increasing his oxygen intake, and Benny had started asking to see her. Kelly wasn’t totally sure it was a good idea, but Lauren told him that she would come by Friday after she got into town. Kelly promised she would not meet him alone.

The next week was somewhat better. Things at home weren’t much better, but she just kept telling herself she could do it. Thursday was her last day with her first graders, and suddenly she didn’t want to leave. She loved the school and everyone she worked with, the kids had even grown on her. By Thursday, she was an emotional mess. She usually wasn’t this emotional, but it was hard to think about leaving. She wasn’t too sure about her new school. It was the total opposite of where she’d been, and she didn’t want to leave.

The kids had made her cards and gotten her a present. They had a party in the afternoon, and the kids all gave her hugs and told her how much they would miss her. Lauren couldn’t help but cry. It was so sad to think that it would be another three months before she could even think about seeing the kids again. Leaving school, she cried. But, she was headed for Chicago and that cheered her up. She texted Jay at the airport and told him she would see him in an hour and a half.

 

Exactly one and a half hours after leaving Tennessee, Lauren landed in Chicago. She practically flew off the plane, knowing the one person she wanted most would be waiting on her. Sure enough, he was the closest to the gate, and she ran into his arms. You would have thought the two had been separated for months instead of two weeks. He slowly kisses her, tells her he is so glad she is back, and tells her how much he has missed her.

It’s getting late and she looks tired, looks like she had been crying. Jay takes her bags and leads her to his car. He settles her in the passenger seat and can’t resist kissing her some more. She’s all smiles. On the car ride over, she ask about work; he knows she’s avoiding the big topic, her father, but he can wait. He parks at his apartment, and pulls her in close. He doesn’t want her to leave his side, not even walking to his apartment.

Once inside, he sets her bags to the side, pulls her in for a hug and a kiss. He pulls back enough to look in her eyes. Finally he ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shakes her head no. She doesn’t want to talk about anything. Jay knows the look in her eyes, knows exactly what she wants. He slowly kisses her, pulls her in closer. She pushes him until his back is against the wall; starts stripping him of his shirt as his hands run over her. She manages to get his shirt over his head and tosses it somewhere behind her. He turns them so she is pinned. He manages to strip her to nothing but the sexy lingerie she wears now.

He picks her up; she wraps her legs around his waist. “Make me forget, make me think of nothing but you,” she tells him. He starts walking them towards the bedroom. He knows she’ll love what he has in mind. He puts her down inside the door, kisses her, and runs his hands up her side. She undoes the button on his jeans; manages to push them halfway down his legs.

He grabs her by the hips and tosses her on the bed. She squeals because it was so unexpected. Jay loves the sound; knows she’s happy. He steps out of his jeans. She motions for him to join her on the bed, but he just smiles. He acts like he’s going to crawl up the bed to her, but he grabs her by the ankles and jerks her towards him. He wraps her legs around his waist, loves feeling her there. He kisses on her; her face, her cheek, her eyelids, her neck, her ear, her collarbone, the tops of her breast, her stomach, anywhere his lips will reach with her wrapped around him.

It’s so sexy watching her moan and whimper as he kisses her. He knows she can feel him between her legs; knows she wants him hard and fast. He wants to be gentle, but she begs. “Please, Jay, please. I just want you to fuck me. I’ve missed you.” He can’t deny her and he knows it.

He unclasps her bra and tosses it aside; hooks his fingers in the sides of her lacy thong and rips it from her body. He lets her pull his boxers down as far as she can reach and he steps out of them. He reaches back up and wraps her legs back around him. “Look at me baby,” he whispers.

She opens her eyes as he slips all the way in with one thrust. It feels heavenly. She forgets everything but him. This is where she belongs, she thinks as he moves in and out. He tells her to keep her eyes on him the whole time, and she does. She gets lost in his blue eyes.

It doesn’t take but a few strokes and she’s teetering on the edge. God how she’s missed him, needed him just like this. She moans his name, whimpers when she feels him slow. “Jaaayyyy, please, don’t stop,” she begs.

“Never, baby,” he says as he leans up to kiss her. The angle change pushes him deeper and she can’t help but moan out his name again. “Sí, esa es mi chica,” he says ash he feels her start to tremble. She loves hearing him call her ‘his girl.’ He leans up to whisper in her ear, “Ven a mí, ahora,” and she does. She can’t help but come when he demands it. Just a couple more strokes and he comes too.

He slowly brings her down, slowly slips out of her. She crawls up in bed where he can lay beside her. Tonight that was all she needed. He pulls her in close, kisses her hair, tells her how much he loves her, how much he loves watching her come like she did. Softly he strokes her hair, the side of her face.

“Talk to me baby. I’m here now. Let me hold you, take care of you.” He knows she needs to get it out, but she’s scared; scared she’ll break apart if she tells him everything from the week. But he’ll hold her tight for as long as it takes. He won’t let her break because he loves her and he would do anything to protect her.

Feeling his hand stroking her face, his arm thrown over her stomach holding her to him, makes her feel safe and secure. She can’t help but start telling him, as he looks at her with so much love. She tells him everything, how it was so hard to leave the kids, how it hurt having to go to the funeral, how she doesn’t know what to expect from Benny tomorrow, how things are with her mom and everything they’ve said to her. She can’t keep any of it in.

He lets her cry even though it kills him. He carefully wipes the tears away, holds her tighter, and tells her that no matter what, everything will be ok because he will make sure of it. He keeps softly stroking her hair until she calms. Her breath evens out as he plays with her hair telling her how much he loves her and he will do anything to keep anyone from hurting her. He tells her how perfect she is to him and no matter what he’ll always be there for her. He can tell when she falls asleep. Her body completely relaxes against him. He strokes her face a few more times and holds her close. He’ll hold her tight all night because he’s missed her, she’s his girl and she needs him. He’ll go with her tomorrow too because it’s what she needs even if she doesn’t ask for it. He loves her to the moon and back, she’s his whole world and he will make sure she knows it all weekend after the weeks she’s had. He slowly falls asleep watching her sleep.

The next day, she goes to visit Benny. Jay takes her to the hospital, where Kelly has been staying with him. Jay told Will they were coming so he met them outside Benny’s room. They had to up his oxygen intake to 90%; Will honestly didn’t know if he would make it much longer. Lauren was having mixed emotions, but she let Will hug her and offer his sympathies. He knew how hard it was to deal with losing a parent, especially when things had not been good in the first place. Jay told her he would wait for her right outside; she nodded as she went in.

Kelly wrapped her in a hug. He looked so worn out and exhausted. “I’m glad you could come, Sis.”

“Me too. You need to go home Kel. You need sleep.”

“I’m fine. Don’t you worry about me.”

Lauren didn’t argue; Kelly was stubborn and she knew it wouldn’t get her anywhere with him. “Has he said why he wanted to see me?” Kelly could only shake his head no; “All he’s said he has to see you.”

Lauren sighs. She wanted to get this over with so she could go back to the apartment with Jay and relax. She’d been sick again that morning and she really just wanted to lay in bed with her man. She walks to the bedside and squeezes his hand. “I’m here, Benny,” she says.

He slowly opens his eyes. “You came,” he wheezes out.

“Yea, yea I did. Kel said you really wanted to see me.”

Benny nods. Kelly hands him water to sup. Talking wore him out. “I need to tell you how sorry I am. I should have never pushed you away. But you need to know, I knew about you all along. You’re mother… she told me about you as soon as she found out… but she told me I had better never come around… never try to find her or you…. She was pretty convincing with her threats… and I was a coward.”

Lauren stays quiet while he draws in much needed air. “Even after you came around… I was afraid to hope… afraid she would find a way to keep you from coming back…. Now I see how wrong I was… you’re too much like me… too stubborn.”

She doesn’t really know what to say to him, but the words slowly come to her. “It’s ok Benny. I’ve lived with her the last five years since coming to Chicago that first time, and you’re right, her threats are really convincing. I’m sure there will be hell to pay when I get home because she threatened me if I ever came back here that she would kick me out and take my car.”

Kelly didn’t know this; she’d only told Jay last night. Jay had promised they would take care of her no matter what, so she wasn’t too worried, but she needed Benny to know that she understood where her mother was concerned. She could feel Kelly’s rage building as he stood beside her. She slightly turned to him; “Not now,” she mouthed and he slowly nodded.

“Lauren…. You need to know… there is a savings account for you… the paperwork is all at my place… Kelly can find it…. It’s not a lot, but it should help.”

Lauren was a little shocked. “You didn’t have to,” she says.

“I started it when you were a baby. I’ve just added a little here and there when I could. It’s not much. I just… I need to know… you’ll be ok… I don’t deserve… it… but… could you ever forgive me?”

Lauren feels tears gather in her eyes. Kelly wraps his arms around her. “Of course,” she says as she squeezes his hand. That was the only thing he ever wanted and that was all he needed to hear. An alarm sounded. Lauren had no idea what was going on, but Will rushed in and Kelly pushed her out to Jay.

It had been Benny’s dying wish to hear her say she could forgive me. When she said it, it was all he needed to end his misery. Lauren was unbelievably sad. She didn’t know her dad real well, but he was her dad. Jay and Lauren stayed the night at Kelly’s. She wanted, no needed, to be there for Kelly and since Jay didn’t want to be without her, he stayed too.

The funeral was on Sunday. Kelly was a mess, but Shay promised she would take care of him. Lauren so wished they would get together. Shay was perfect for her brother, she just didn’t know it. If it wasn’t for Jay, she never would have gotten through the day. He was her rock, her strong hold, her everything. She loved him with all her heart and she let him know before she left.

In just two weeks she would be back for Fall Break. She would be staying the whole week, and she was so excited; she couldn’t wait.


	16. Surprise!

The next two weeks crawled by for Lauren. She was at her new school and she wasn’t sure about it. It was so different from her last school, and it was taking some getting used to. Jay had convinced her to go to the doctor because she’d been so sick.

Her appointment was Friday morning before Fall Break so she would be missing school, so she decided to just head on to Chicago after it. She was going to drive this time because she was going to be staying the whole week, and she’d gotten so sick on the flight home two weeks ago and she didn’t want a repeat.

Jay had been swamped with a case and she hadn’t talked to him a bunch. She missed him, but she would be seeing him soon. She couldn’t wait. She got a whole week with her man, away from all her struggles.

The doctor told her that her bloodwork should be back by the end of the day so she would call as soon she had the results. Lauren text Jay and told him she was headed his way. She was so excited but not really looking forward to the ten plus hour drive depending on traffic and the number of times she stopped. She was hoping to keep it right at ten hours.

 

**9 and half hours later…**

Lauren was about thirty minutes from Chicago when Jay called. She had made good time, and traffic hadn’t been bad. She just wanted to be there already. Jay told her they were having a party on the river at her favorite restaurant and he really wanted her to come by.

She told him she was tired and just wanted to relax with him, but he told her it would be fun, it’d be worth it. He told her they didn’t have to stay long at all if she didn’t want too, but everyone wanted to see her. Lauren finally agreed. It would be fun to see everyone for a short time. She suddenly got an idea for a surprise for Jay, but she was going to need help.

She called Mouse to see if he was at the party. Lucky for her, he was. She asked him for some help; she told him her idea and made him swear and promise he would not tell Jay. He told her it was really big secret to keep, but she promised she was like ten minutes out if he could just keep quiet until then. He promised, only because he knew Jay would end up loving it.

Once she found somewhere to park, she noticed white lights had been strung all around outside and music was softly playing. As she got closer, she realized it was everybody from the fire department and the police department. _So much for not staying long_ , she thought.

Kelly met her at the edge of the party. He pulled her in for a hug. He tells her he is really glad to see her. She tells him the same. She’d talked to him every day since the funeral, just calling to check on him, make sure he was ok. She’d missed him, and planned on spending one day of fall break with just him, but for now she decided to enjoy the party. Kelly looked like he was doing good, like he was having fun.

As they walked closer, everyone seemed to fan out into a semi-circle without her even noticing thanks to Kelly talking to her. She had her back to everyone, and she asks Kelly what the party was for, and he shrugs with a big smile on his face. “Seemed like a good idea,” he said. He was acting weird, like he was up to something.

Before she could ask what he was up too, he turns her around and puts his hands over her eyes before she sees anything or anybody. It was then she noticed everyone had gotten quiet. “Kel, what are you doing?” she asks. Slowly he moves his hands. It was then she noticed Jay was on one knee in front of her. She looks back at Kelly, needing conformation that this was really happening.

He nods and pushes her closer to Jay. Now, she’s standing directly in front of him. He’s giving her the biggest smile. She notices he’s holding a ring his hand; he grabs her left hand with his free one. He looks deep into her eyes; his blue ones are shining bright. “Jay?” she whispers. He kisses her hand.

“Hi,” he whispers to her. Lauren can’t help but giggle. “I wanted to surprise you tonight,” he says. At her nod he continues. “Five years ago when I saw you walk into Molly’s for the first time, I was blown away. You were so beautiful; I couldn’t take my eyes off you. And then when you spoke, your voice, was so sexy. You wanted to know why I was staring, and I couldn’t answer. Now, here we are five years later and I still can’t keep my eyes off you, still love listening to you talk. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I’ve realized I can’t live without you. I need you in my life. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, loving you, having kids with you, growing old with you. No one else gets me like you do. I love you so much Lauren Kathleen and I want to spend forever with you. Will you marry me, baby?”

All she could do was nod yes. The tears were pouring down her face; she couldn’t remember ever being this happy. He had definitely pulled off one of the best surprises ever. She was so in love with him. He slipped the ring on her finger as he stood up. He picks her up in his arms, kisses her senseless.

It was only when Kelly cleared his throat that they separated for air, remembered they were in public. Jay slowly sat her down on the ground when she heard the music change. It was one of her new favorite songs, _Die a Happy Man_ by Thomas Rhett. Jay started slow dancing with her, softly singing along. He whispers in her ear, “This song is so true. I could die right now, and I would be the happiest man alive.”

“Do you know how much I love you?” she asks. She was so happy. This was probably the best night ever. Hearing him sing the lyrics to her, telling her she was the only thing in this world that mattered, made her heart soar. She was so in love with him.

Jay smiled; “Tell me again,” he whispers.

“You have made me the happiest girl on this planet, Jay Matthew. I am so in love with you. You and only you make me happy. This ring, it’s perfect Jay. You know just what makes me happy, know how to make me feel better after a bad day, know the good and bad and still love me. I couldn’t do this without you Jay, don’t want to.”

Jay couldn’t help the smile; he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “Come here,” she whispers. “I have something for you.” She’d left his present with Mouse. She knew he was probably dying having to keep the secret this long.

“Thank you,” she told him as he handed her the box. He stood off to the side; she’d asked him to watch, wanted him to get pictures of Jay’s face when he opened it.

“What’s this?” he asks.

“Well, I had a surprise planned for you. I didn’t know you’d surprise me first.”

Jay smiled; he loved that he’d been able to surprise her. “Open the box, Jay.”

Jay slowly pulled the lid off. Inside was a piece of paper with something laying inside it. He slowly unfolded the paper, looked at what was laying inside. “Lauren? Is this… is… is this real?” She had the biggest smile on her face.

“Yes, handsome, it is. The doctor called on my way here with my bloodwork results. I had Mouse print them for me to put in here.”

Jay had tears in his eyes. He sat the box aside, picked her up in his arms and spun her around. “Baby, you have no idea how happy I am. I could shout it from the rooftops.” He kissed her. “Who knows?” he whispered.

She gazed down into his eyes; he’d yet to set her down. “Us and Mouse. I took the test two weeks ago, but just had the bloodwork done today.” Jay couldn’t help but kiss her again. It was only when Mouse said with a laugh, “Ok, you two, don’t forget we’re all still in public,” did Jay release her lips. Mouse walked up to them as Jay slowly set her down. He didn’t want to turn her loose.

“I’m really happy for you, brother. I got both on camera just like you both wanted.” Lauren didn’t realize Jay had pictures made of him proposing. Her love for him just continued to grow.

“Mouse, you’re the best,” Jay says as he hugged him. Mouse hugged Lauren and told her he was happy for them before he went to join the rest of their friends. He’d promised not to tell until they were ready, but damn if he wasn’t happy for them. They were going to make great parents.

“Come on, beautiful. I want to take you home.”

“Jay, we can’t just leave them.”

“Sure we can. You’re tired, had a long drive. I can so play this off,” he said with a smirk. Really he just wanted to get her back to the apartment to show her just how much he loved her.

Lauren couldn’t help but smile. She was sure he could play it off, but she wasn’t sure their friends would totally buy it; Jay’s eyes usually gave him away. He walked closer to their group. “Thank you all for tonight. It means so much that yall were a part of it,” she says.

“But, my soon to be bride is tired from the long drive so we’re going to head out.” Mouse knew differently. That girl wasn’t tired, but he knew his best friend. There would be no sharing of her attention tonight. If anyone else bought Jay’s excuse he would be surprised, but then again, he was pretty convincing when he wanted/needed to be.

Everyone offered their congratulations. Jay wanted to share the rest of their news with all of them, but he’d promised Lauren they would wait until she was farther along. She knew it was going to be hard to keep it from Kelly and Will, but she was going to try to at least get through the first trimester.

Jay had rode to the restaurant with Will so he climbed in the car with her. She let him drive because she was a little tired, not that she would ever tell him that. In the car, he had his hand on her thigh, stroking softly back and forth. He was teasing her and she knew it. She couldn’t help the soft moan that escaped her lips when he “accidently” brushed across her center more than once.

She was out of the car waiting on him. She was needy for him, told him to forget her stuff, they could get it later. In the elevator, she kisses him hard. “God, I love you so much, Jay.” He smiles. “I love you too, baby.” When the elevator dings signally they’re on his floor, she practically drags him out.

He can’t help but chuckle “Impatient?” he asks as he places gentle kisses on her neck. “Damnit Jay, you know what you’ve done with those looks and soft touches.”

Jay smiles as he sucks on her neck. Once they are through the door, he grabs her face, kisses her hard as he backs her into the wall. She’s wraps her arms around him, trying to get his shirt off, needs to feel him beneath her fingers. He grabs her hands, pins them above her head. She groans.

He grabs her face again, looks into her eyes. “Jaaayy…”

“Open your eyes. Tell me.”

“Hard, fast, now. God I need you.”

That’s all he needed to hear; he strips her, lets her strip him. He grabs her by the hips, picks her up and she wraps her legs around his hips. “Lauren, baby, tan mojada para mí (so wet for me).” He slowly rocks into her. She groans, her muscles instantly clinching around him as he tries to pull out to thrust again.

“Damn, baby, so wet and tight.”

Lauren moaned; “God, yes, Jay! Please.”

He thrust a little harder, a little deeper. “You know the magic words, baby girl,” he whispers into her ear as he sucked on her lobe. He slowly pulls out and pushes back in. Her head turns side to side. She needs him so bad. “Mmmm, please, Jay, please.” He keeps to the slow pace; she groans.

“Solo dilo. Di las palabras mágicas y me dejaré viene voy a ir contigo.” Damn his Spanish. He knew what it did to her hearing him talk in Spanish. Between his sexy voice and his slow thrust she was close, so close. But he won’t let her come until she said it; told her to say the magic words and she could come and he would come with her. She opened her eyes to look at him. “Fuck me, Jay. Hard and fast, please.”

He pauses to look in her eyes; “That’s my girl,” he whispers as he thrusts in hard and deeper. He sucks on the base of her neck where her neck meets her shoulder. He thrusts in and out fast. “God, Jay. I’m. So. Close.” she manages to say as he lightly bites the sensitive spot. He blows a warm breath across it. He pushes into her, whispers in her ear, “Come beautiful, now,” as he feels his own orgasm crash over him.

He hears her scream his name, feels her clinch around him. It’s ecstasy. He moans her name, slowly brings her down. “God, baby, you’re so beautiful.” She lays her head on his shoulder. Now she really is tired.

He turns and carries her to bed. He lays her on her side, and crawls in behind her. He wraps his arm around her and pulls her in close to his chest. She looks so happy and content. He pushes her hair off her face; softly strokes it. He can tell she’s tired; he just wants to lay there and watch her.

She turns to look at him. “Don’t you want to know how or when?” she asks. She figured that would have been one of his first questions. He gazes into her eyes; “It doesn’t matter to me baby. I wanted it with you; so what if it’s happening sooner than planned. But if you want to tell me I’ll listen.”

Lauren can’t help but smile. She wants to tell him. “The week before you deployed, I’d been sick.” Jay nods. He remembered she’d gotten a bug from school; he hated that he couldn’t be there to take care of her. “Well apparently they forget to tell you that antibiotics will counteract birth control.”

Jay chuckles. It really didn’t matter to him. He’d always wanted this with her. It was happening a little sooner than she was probably ready for, but he was happy. He knew she was too, knew she always wanted a houseful of kids. “Well, I guess I’m just lucky then. We always wanted this baby, I promise I’m happy.”

“I am too,” she whispers. “How many do you want?” she asks.

“As many as you do, babe.” Lauren smiles. “As long as they are as beautiful as you, which I know they will be, I don’t care. You know why? Because you are going to be the absolute best mother ever. Our kids are so lucky.” He gently runs his hand over her still flat stomach. He was looking forward to watching her grow as the baby grew.

He couldn’t wait for December when he could move her up here with him. It was going to kill him being away from her, kill him that he couldn’t be there for every little thing. He just hoped she wasn’t as sick anymore. He wanted to be there for her during it all, but this distance, it was going to kill him.

He didn’t want to think about that though. He had his girl in his arms, she had agreed to marry him and told him she was making him a dad. This night was absolutely perfect and he was looking forward to his week with her. She drifted off to sleep as he played with her hair. He watched her until his eyes felt heavy and he too drifted off with a smile on his face.


	17. Hits Close to Home

Jay ended up having to work Saturday. They were close to wrapping up this two week case and Jay promised he would be able to spend time with her after this. On Sunday, Lauren decided she would go by the fire hall and visit. She wasn’t sure how much she would see Kelly once Jay was free, so she decided she would just go visit while they were working.

On her way, she went through an intersection at the same time a car ran a red light, plowing into the passenger side of her car. It spun her around, pushed her up against a building. She hit her head on the window, but she stayed conscious. All she could think about was the baby. Prayed everything would be ok.

She heard sirens before her car every completely stopped. “Chicago PD! Show me your hands!” Lauren was a little confused; she recognized the voice but couldn’t place it. Someone knocked on her window; it was a patrol man asking if she was ok. Lauren nodded. “We’ll get you out real soon, mam,” the officer said. Lauren nodded again. She saw the firetrucks and ambulance roll up. She recognized the trucks; it was 51.

Kelly would get her out. She had no doubt. She closed her eyes. About that time the back driver’s door opened. “Lauren, Sis, Lauren? Are you ok?”

“Kelly,” she whispered. “Yea yea, just hang on Sis, we’re gonna get you out.” She could hear sirens all around. She heard someone screaming her name. The back door was opened again. “Lauren, baby, Lauren?” he said as he crawled between her front two seats to look at her. She had blood running down her face, but it didn’t look deep.

“Jay?”

“Yea, I’m here, baby. Are you ok? Talk to me baby.”

“I’m ok. Just a bump on my head. My seatbelt… I think it’s stuck.” Jay tried releasing it, but noticed it was cutting into her side. There was a small patch of blood around it.

“Ok. Kelly’s gonna get you, promise.”

“I know. Jay? Why are you here?”

“The guy that hit you, he’s our suspect in this two week long case. We were in pursuit when he blew through the intersection.” He saw Kelly walk up with his men. “I’ll be waiting outside baby.”

Lauren nodded as Jay crawled back out to let Squad get her out. Her door had jammed from the impact of hitting the building. While Jay was waiting, he called Will. “Hey little brother what’s up?”

“Hey, listen you on shift?”

“Nope. Why? What’s wrong?”

“I need you to meet me at my apartment. Lauren was in a car accident. I need you to check her out. Her head is cut, I couldn’t tell how deep, and the seat belt, it’s cut into her side and I could see blood there too. You know I don’t do hospitals so please don’t make me take her there, Will.”

“Yea, yea, I’ll meet you there.”

“Hey, Will, one other thing.”

“Yea?”

“She’s… gah… she’s pregnant. We were going to wait until she was further along to tell anyone, but I have to tell you because of…”

“Yea, I got it Jay. Hey look, I have a friend. She won’t mind coming to check out the baby for us.”

“Yea, ok. Thanks Will.”

“No problem. Congrats little brother.”

“Thanks. Hey gotta go.”

While he was on the phone Kelly had managed to get Lauren out, while Casey had gotten the driver. Before Antonio could get the cuffs on him, he’d broke free and pulled a gun. Jay grabbed his side before he hung up; tried to yell a warning to Kelly, but he wasn’t fast enough. The guy snuck up behind Lauren and Kelly, grabbed her and put the gun to her head. He’d seen both the fireman and detective talking to her in the car, figured she was important to them both.

Jay was freaking out. This was his girl, his fiancée; this couldn’t be happening. “Kelly,” he said as he walked closer. “Walk towards me. Kelly! Now!” he practically screamed.

Ruzek grabbed Severide and pulled him back. Handed him off to Casey before he did anything stupid. Lauren looked scared; hell he was scared shitless, but he had to keep his head, had to get her out of this. Voight came up to him, “Halstead, you good?”

Jay nodded. “I just have to get her out. She’s… damn it... she’s pregnant. We haven’t told anyone yet. We just found out Friday.”

“Congratulations Jay,” Hank said as he slapped him on the back. “We’ll get her out. You’ve got my word.”

“You know as well as I do, he’ll do anything to get out of here free. He’s not going down easy, Sarge.”

“Look around Jay, everyone is here. He’s not going to hurt her.” Jay looked around; Donovan, the suspect, was pulling her closer to the building her car crashed into. “SWAT is 5 minutes out,” Erin said.

“Everybody stay calm!” Voight called.

“Sarge, Sarge, wait a minute.”

“What Jay?”

“Look behind us at 6. Tall building, clear shot. Let me do it. She’ll trust me.”

Hank turned around and looked. Sure enough Halstead had found a building that would work. “Jay, you good for this?”

Jay nodded. “Just let me tell her.” At Hank’s questioning look, Jay said, “Just trust me.”

“Go,” Hank said.

Jay walked a little closer. This was absolutely killing him. “Stop right there. No closer or she dies.”

Jay holstered his weapon, put his hands up. “I just want to make sure she’s ok.”

“Yea, yea I’m fine.”

“Ok. Ok. How about you let her go buddy? Save yourself the trouble.”

“No. She’s my ticket out of here.”

“Ok. Ok,” Jay said backing up. Lauren was sending him a pleading look. He had to play this cool, or he would play right into Donovan’s hands. “Mam, don’t worry. SWAT will be here soon.” He carefully nodded his head back behind him. Lauren looked at him with pleading eyes. Erin drew Donovan’s attention elsewhere; “Trust me,” he said. Lauren nodded just the slightest, and Jay backed far enough away. He turned and sprinted to the car; grabbed his sniper rifle.

Antonio followed him up to the top of the building. “Did you get her the message?”

“Yea.”

Lauren kept her eyes on Kelly. She couldn’t see Jay anymore. She was scared, so scared and she needed someone to focus on. Jay told her to trust him. She’d seen him and Antonio run into the building across the street; she wasn’t totally sure, but she didn’t think he was waiting on SWAT. She knew he would need her to stay calm. She raised her eyes to the roof thinking that is where he would be, and she barely saw the tip of his gun. She took in a deep breath; she was just ready for this to be over. She needed Jay’s arms around her telling her it was ok.

“Give her the sign Tonio,” Jay whispered. Antonio radioed down to Voight that Jay was ready. He saw Voight look at her and nod through his scope; watched as Lauren went limp in the guy’s arms; heard Kelly screaming her name thinking she had fainted. Jay breathed in deep, lined his target up and pulled the trigger.

He watched as the guy slumped down the wall, didn’t wait to see anymore. He left his gun with Antonio and sprinted down the steps. He was across the street in record time to see Kelly grab her up. Lauren was crying. Kelly held her tight to him until Jay sprinted up. He slowly released her and Lauren sank into Jay. Her legs were trembling; Jay was the only thing holding her up.

He grabbed her face between her hands. “You’re ok? You’re ok baby girl. I got you,” he said as he wiped her tears. “Come on, I’m taking you home.”

“Like hell you are,” Kelly said. “She’s going straight to the hospital.” Anger flashed in Jay’s eyes. “No she’s not. Will is waiting on us at the apartment and that is where she’s going.”

“Kel please. Don’t fight. I don’t want to go. Will is the best anyways.” He couldn’t say no to her, especially after what she’d just been through so he nodded. Jay picked her up into his arms, headed for the car. “Halstead?” Voight said as he walked by. Jay stopped and looked at him.

“Take a few days, however many you need.” Jay nodded. “Thanks.” He carried her over to the car, settled her in the passenger seat. He grabbed some napkins. “Hold this to your head baby.”

“Jay,” she whispered.

“What is it?”

“It hurts.”

“Ok, baby. Five minutes. Just hang on five more minutes for me.” He saw he had a couple missed calls from Will. Oh well he would explain later. He parked at his apartment, ran around and unbuckled her. Picked her up in his arms and sprinted up the steps. He didn’t have time to wait on the elevator. She was weak, barely keeping her eyes open. Thank God Will had left the door unlocked and cracked so he just had to push it open.

“Ok this isn’t ideal, but I figured it was better than the couch,” Will said as he pointed at the table.

Jay carefully laid her down. “Lauren, tell me what hurts,” Will said as he pushed Jay down in the nearest chair. He kept a tight hold on her hand.

“My head, my side. Oh God… Will I’m pregnant.”

Will chuckled. “Yea Jay told me when he called. I’m happy for you both. But we have to get you patched up before we celebrate.” About that time there was a knock on the door. “Come in,” Will called assuming it would be Natalie.

Sure enough it was. “Lauren, Jay, this is my friend and OBGYN Natalie. Nat, my brother Jay and his now fiancée, Lauren.”

“Hi,” she said. “If you don’t mind Halstead, I’d like to check on the baby first.”

“Be my guest. I’ll work on her head.” He figured his best bet of getting her head cleaned up without too much trouble would be while they were distracted. The he would deal with her sides.

“Ok, Lauren. How far along are you? Have you had an ultrasound yet?”

“I… um... I’m almost eight weeks. And no I haven’t. We just got conformation Friday.”

“Alrighty then. I have a portable ultrasound machine with me so let’s just have a look.”

She squirted some cool gel onto her stomach, being careful to avoid the cut on her side. Within just a few seconds a steady heartbeat sounded throughout the room. “Heartbeat sounds good guys. Look,” Natalie said as she pointed to the tiny spot on the screen where you could see a heartbeat.

Jay leaned over and kissed her as the tears poured down her cheeks. “Hear that, baby. It’s our baby,” he whispered. Lauren could see the unshed tears in Jay’s eyes. She was so unbelievably happy; it didn’t matter what was wrong with her as long as the baby was ok.

“I’d say everything is fine. The baby looks to be unharmed. Just take it easy. Stress can really upset a baby so keep it to a minimum for the next few days. Watch for spotting which could a sign of miscarriage, but I think you’ll be just fine.”

“Thank you,” Jay whispered as she packed her things away.

She nodded. “If you all need anything else, here is my card. Just call.”

“Thank you,” Jay said. “Halstead, coffee soon?”

“Yea sure. Talk to you later.” She nodded as she headed out the apartment door. He’d managed to stop the bleeding on her head; determined it wasn’t deep enough for stitches. He was putting a butterfly bandage on when he noticed two sets of eyes staring at him.

“What?” he asked when they both just kept staring at him.

“Are you dating her?” Jay asked. Will laughed. “No why?”

Despite the pain Lauren couldn’t help but chuckle. “You two sure were friendly. And since when did you do coffee dates?” Jay asked.

“We’ve shared coffee _breaks_ , on shift” Will stressed.

“Yea, right,” Jay snorted. Will threw a roll of medical tape at him. “Alright Lauren, let’s have a look at that side. It ended up being nothing more than a small cut that didn’t even require a bandage. “Anywhere else hurt? Jay’s probably going to make me do a complete physical.”

“I think I’m good. Maybe have some bruises from the seat belt.”

“Well I’m going to have to check. Little brother will kill me if I don’t.” Jay threw the roll of tape back at him. “Don’t act like this is all my fault, Will. You’re the doctor. You’d be doing this anyways if I wasn’t standing here.”

Will shrugged. “Just like giving you a hard time.” Jay shook his head. Honestly he would have been lost without Will today because he hated hospitals and avoided them at all costs. There was a big bruise across her chest, but Will thought it was just that, a bruise.

He helped her sit up. “Now, the butterfly needs to stay on a couple days. Jay can change it out. He’s had plenty to know how to keep the cut closed. Just make sure to clean it, Jay.”

“Yea, yea I know the drill.”

“Other than that, I’d say you’re fine.”

“Thanks Will,” Lauren said as she slid off the table.

“No problem. Now I don’t think I got to properly welcome you to the family before my brother whisked you away the other night.”

Lauren smiled and couldn’t help the blush. Will pulled her into a hug. “Welcome to the family, Sis. I’m so happy Jay has you, and that you two are already making me an uncle.” Lauren smiled.

“Thanks.” Jay took her back from Will; wrapped his arms around her needing to feel her close. Will could see the look of exhaustion in Lauren’s eyes. “Doctor’s orders are to rest, both of you. It was a stressful day and stress is not good for the baby. So I’m going to get out of here. I go in at 11 tonight, but call if you need anything, anything at all.”

Jay nodded. “I’ll check on you soon,” Will said as he turned to head out. Once Will was gone, Jay picked her and carried her to the bedroom. Slowly put her down, carefully undressed her. The bruise from the seat belt was awful. It was every shade of color possible. “Let’s get you in something comfortable,” he whispered.

Lauren grabbed his wrists before he could turn to get clothes. “No. I just want you to hold me, love me.”

Jay looked at her with so much love. He nodded as he carefully laid her out in bed, laid down beside her, and pulled her in close to his chest.

“I was so scared,” she whispered. “Scared he was going to hurt the baby. Scared something bad was going to happen. Scared I wouldn’t get to lay like this with you anymore.”

Jay was stroking her cheek as he gazed down at her. “I know baby. I was scared too. When I saw that gun to your head… I panicked. You’re my whole world Lauren. I could never lose you.”

“But you kept your cool, came up with a plan, and everything ended ok.” Her eyes were fluttering. He knew this had worn her out and she needed to sleep.

“Yea,” he whispered as he kissed the top of her head. “Sleep baby girl. I’ll be right here the whole time.”

“Don’t let me go,” she whispered.

“I’d never dream of it baby,” he whispers as he runs his fingers through her hair. Knows that is the fastest way to put her to sleep. He watches as she drifts off, feels her breathing even out. He carefully strokes his hand down her body. The bruise was going to be nasty. He let his hand rest on her still flat stomach.

He still couldn’t believe he was going to be a dad and a husband. He had no idea how he got so lucky. He scooted down in bed and gently laid his head on her stomach. “I already love you little one. I love you more than you could ever know. I’m going to do everything possible to protect you and your mom. I’m going to be try to be the best dad I can be for you. I can’t wait to meet you baby.”

He let his head rest there. Felt his eyes get heavy as he drew meaningless patterns on her stomach. She was safe in his arms. Today had been close, too close, but he got her out. Now he was going to spend the rest of the week taking care of her. _‘The cabin,’_ he thinks. She would love to go back and it would be the perfect get-away to help her recover.

He gets out of bed and sends Hank a text asking for the whole week off. He crawls back in beside her. Carefully wraps her in his arms. He was going to spend the entire week with his fiancée and he was going to make sure she was ok because he loved her so much and he couldn’t live this life without her.


	18. The Cabin

Jay awoke early the next morning while Lauren was still asleep. He carefully crawled out of bed and packed their bags. He just knew she was going to love this surprise. He went to make her favorite breakfast, chocolate chip pancakes.

While he was in the kitchen, he heard the bathroom door slam. He took off after her, found her in the bathroom being sick. He held her hair back and kept his hand on her forehead. “It’s ok, baby,” he whispered. Once she was done, he picked her up and sat her on the bathroom counter.

He let her rinse her mouth and helped her wash up. He carried her to the bed and carefully laid her down. He ran his hand over her stomach. “I’m sorry you’re so sick baby,” he whispered. The bruise on her chest looked much worse this morning. She cradled his face; “It’s ok Jay. It’s giving us one of the greatest things ever.”

He smiled; only Lauren could find something good out of being super sick all the time. He softly ran his fingers over her cuts and bruise. “I’m sorry baby girl,” he whispered anger flashing in his eyes.

“It’s not your fault Jay. It was an accident that got a little out of hand, but you handled it, you got me back.”

He gazed into her eyes, saw so much love reflected back at him. “I’ll always get you back, but I hope I never see that sight again. Seeing him… holding that gun to your head…. God…. Baby… I…”

“It’s ok Jay. I get it babe,” she said as she stroked his cheek. “Look at me.” When his eyes met hers she continued, “I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” He softly kissed her.

“Feeling better?” When she nodded he said, “Well come on, I made your favorite breakfast.”

“Pancakes?” she asked with a smile.

“Chocolate chip pancakes,” he said as he pulled her out of bed and into his arms.

She giggled. “I can walk you know.”

He nuzzles her neck as he whispers, “I know but you’re recovering and I like having you close.”

She smiles as he sets her down at the bar. He puts a plate in front of her with pancakes already cut up and syrup drizzled over it just like she likes. “What did I ever do to deserve you?” she asks.

“I’m the lucky one. Now eat. I know you’re hungry because I heard your stomach growl,” he said with a smile. Jay made sure she ate every bite. She was eating for two now, and he had to make sure she stayed healthy.

“I have a surprise for you,” he said as he cleaned up the dishes.

He saw the excited look on her face; she always loved surprises. “You do?”

He nodded. “What is it Jay?!”

“Well, this guy here has the whole week off and we are going to the cabin. It’ll help you relax and recover.”

She wrapped her arms around him from behind. “You took the week off for me?”

He turned around to look at her; “I had a few days off as it was, but I asked Voight for the rest of the week after yesterday. I just… I needed this time with you.”

She stood on tip toe to kiss him. “You are amazing Jay Matthew.”

“Come on, let’s get you dressed. I already have our bags packed and ready to go.”

 

They’d been on the road for about an hour; “Jay… stop… I’m sick,” she managed as he pulled over. He hated seeing her like this. He carefully pulled her into his arms, “It’s ok baby. We’ll be there soon.” Lauren managed to sleep the rest of the way there.

Once he pulled in, he carried their bags inside. He came back out, carefully unbuckled her, and picked her up into his arms. She instinctively laid her head on his shoulder as he carried her inside. He gently laid her down in bed and tucked her in.

It was almost lunch time and he knew whenever she woke, she would be hungry. They would have to go shopping later, but at least he had enough for sandwiches. Once he had those made, he went back to the bedroom. He sat down on the bed beside her. He unzipped his hoodie she had insisted on wearing and carefully pulled her shirt up.

The cut on her side was really minor and looked fine. The bruise on her chest was awful. He hated seeing it across her beautiful skin. God what he wouldn’t give to have put that guy away before she’d made it into town. Maybe then she wouldn’t be hurt. He looked at the butterfly bandage on her head. He would have to clean it later, and it was going to sting, but he couldn’t let it get infected.

He softly stroked her cheek. “Hey, baby, you need to wake up.” He knew she was tired, being sick always made her sleep, but he knew she needed to eat. Lauren whimpered and snuggled further under the covers. He couldn’t help but chuckle; Lauren always hated waking up before she was ready. He leaned down and softly kissed her cheek. “Come on beautiful. Lunch is waiting.”

Lauren’s eyes fluttered open and closed. “Not hungry,” she mumbled. He softly stroked her cheek as he pulled her up into his lap. She laid her head on his shoulder turning her face into his neck. “Come on baby girl, you’ve got to eat. Keep you’re strength up.”

Lauren mumbled something into his neck but he didn’t catch it. He ran his fingers through her hair. “I’ll let you go back to sleep as soon as you eat sweetheart.” He felt her sigh. “Ok,” she mumbled sleepily.

He picked her up and carried her to the kitchen. “I made grilled cheese.” Lauren raised her heard off his shoulder finally. “Good. I love your grilled cheeses.”

“I know. That’s why I made them,” he said as he sat her at the table with a quick kiss to the top of her head. He sat beside her and watched her eat. “You’re staring detective,” she giggled.

“You’re so beautiful, baby. You absolutely are glowing and it’s so beautiful.” Lauren couldn’t help but blush. Once they finished eating, he threw their dishes in the sink and picked her up. He carried her back to the bedroom. “How about we watch a movie and relax?”

Lauren snuggled into his chest. “Ok,” she said as he rubbed her back. He opened Netflix and told her to pick anything she wanted. Lauren picked _The Best of Me_. It had easily become one of her favorites even though it always made her cry.

She relaxed between Jay’s legs with her head on his chest. She loved being this close to him. He wrapped his arms around her being careful of her bruise and let his hands rest on her stomach. He couldn’t wait for the day when he would feel his baby kicking his hand. He felt her sigh.

“Relax baby girl. We have the whole week for me to take care of you.” Lauren smiled.

“You’re going to be the best daddy ever,” she whispered. Jay kissed the side of her head.

“I’m sure going to try baby.” Lauren smiled. She couldn’t wait to watch him with their baby. It was going to be truly amazing.

“What are you hoping for?” she whispered. She totally wasn’t watching the movie, but she didn’t care. Talking about their baby made her happy. She was so ready for it. She felt him smile against the side of her head.

“As long as he or she is healthy, I don’t care.” Lauren turned around in his lap to look at him. “Ok, fine, but what are you hoping for? I know you’ve thought about it.”

Jay smiled; she had him there. “I want a little girl that looks like you, acts like you. Daddy’s little girl,” he whispered.

God did Lauren ever want that. He would be wrapped around their little girl’s finger the minute he saw her. “She has to have your eyes,” Lauren said. Jay smiled. A little girl that looked like Lauren, with his eyes… “What are you hoping for?” he asked.

“A little boy that looks like his daddy, acts like him some too,” she said with a giggle. “He would learn to be a good man because he would have the best example and then we’d give him a little sister. Someone he could look out for.”

Jay cradled her face between his hands. “Sounds wonderful baby. We’ll have as many as you want beautiful. Watching you glow, grow with the baby… it’s one of the best things ever.” She kisses him hard.

“God… I want you…” she moans. Jay pulls her hips against his. “I can't hurt you baby.”

She grabs his face, makes him look at her. “You will never hurt me. I need to feel you… please,” she pleaded with her eyes. Jay knew he couldn’t deny her. Thinking about her with their kids had turned him on and he needed her, but she was still recovering.

“Please…” she begged as she rocked against him. Jay grabbed her face; “It has to be slow, baby. You have to stop me if it hurts. Promise me Lauren?”

“I promise,” she whispered as he rolled them over. He slowly pulled his hoodie off her, kissing all over her. He was going to take his sweet time loving on her, taking care of her. He slowly undressed her, kissing newly exposed skin as he went.

Lauren was whimpering. “Relax baby. I’ll take care of you promise.”

“Need… you… now…” she panted as she grabbed for his head. Jay groaned. He needed to take it slow, make sure she was going to be ok. But he needed her too, and the way she said it… God he loved hearing how much she needed him.

He kissed up to her lips, gently kissed her. “Baby… I…” She grabbed his face. “Por favor, llévame ahora Jay por favor.”

God he forgot what it was like hearing her Spanish. Hearing her tell him to 'take her', begging for it. He couldn’t say no. He slowly spread her legs as he settled between them. He slowly sank into her wet heat. "Lauren... baby... so wet..."

She wrapped her legs around him. "Need you," she panted. God he had her so close and he’d barely touched her, barely moved in her. He thrust hard but slow. Lauren groaned; tossed her head side to side. “Relajarse hermosa. Yo me ocuparé de ti, hacerte venir. (Relax beautiful. I’ll take care of you, make you come)”

"Can't relax... need you…” Jay thrust a little deeper and her hips arched to meet his. He gently sucked on her neck. The seatbelt had left a bruise from her shoulder all the way down her chest. He hated seeing it there. The only ‘bruise’ that was supposed to be there were his love marks.

“More,” she panted as she felt him sucking. God she loved it when he did that. “Can't baby…” he whispered. He couldn’t leave another mark on her when the bruise there was so bad. He thrust a little harder. Lightly kissed the spot he’d just sucked.

He felt her tensing around him. “Come on beautiful girl. Come for me,” he whispered in her ear before he sucked on it. She arched up to meet his hard deep thrust and she came, screamed his name.

He tried to hang on her, but her orgasm pushed him over the edge. “Lauren…. Baby…” he groaned. God she felt amazing. He slowly brought her down. She was so beautiful. Her skin was slightly blushed, she had a thin sheen of sweet covering her, and she was panting trying to catch her breath. She had her eyes closed and a smile on her face.

“You’re amazing Jay,” she whispered as he gently kissed her. He rolled on his side being careful not to hurt. She snuggled in close, laid her head on his chest. He knew she was worn out. He’d woken her from her nap earlier and that was one heck of a workout she’d just put him through.

He chuckled. He was so in love with her. He softly ran his fingers thru her hair. “Sleep my beautiful girl.” He felt her relax around him as she drifted off to sleep. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky, but he was going to take care of her, take care of the baby, forever.

He watched her sleep for the longest. He felt his eyes get heavy. It’d been a long two days and he had to admit he was pretty tired. He left his arm wrapped around as he too drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	19. Fall Break

The next morning Lauren woke before him. He still had his arm wrapped around her holding her close. She laid there praying she wouldn’t be sick because she knew he would wake if she was. She knew he had to be tired. It’d been a long couple of days for him too, and she knew he needed to rest. She was so excited to have the whole week with him at the cabin.

She gently rolled over and his arm draped across her stomach. She couldn’t wait to watch him with their baby. She couldn’t wait to watch his eyes light up when he felt the baby move or kick in her. She couldn’t wait to see him when he held their baby for the first time. She knew he wanted a little girl, a daddy’s girl, and she knew he’d get one. But she really wanted a little boy that looked just like him.

Jay would teach him how to be a good man, be protective of his little sister, and always do the right thing. He would spoil their kids and love them dearly and she couldn’t wait for it. As she laid their thinking about their baby, she felt herself feeling sick. She moved his arm and ran for the bathroom.

She hated it, but she would endure it for the baby. Just about the time she felt herself starting to get sick, she felt strong arms wrap around her and pull her hair back. He held her the whole time telling her it was going to be ok. Once she was done, he gently pulled her back against him and wiped her tears.

No matter how hard she tried, she always cried when she was sick. He gently picked her up and sat her on the side of the tub. He wet a wash cloth and wiped her face. “I’m sorry I woke you,” she whispered. He cradled her face; “It’s ok baby. I want to be here, want to take care of you.”

She nodded. She was tired again. She hated being this tired; she was afraid they weren’t going to get to do anything fun this week because she would just want to sleep the whole time. “How about a bubble bath?” he whispered. She looked up at him and smiled. “Will you join me?”

“Of course beautiful,” he said as he reached behind her to turn it on. Once he had the water warm, he pulled her up and helped her over into the tub. He sat down and she laid back on him. “You’re so good to me,” she said as he rubbed her arms.

“This is how it will always be baby. I’ll always take care of you and our baby.” She had her head resting on his shoulder, “I know. You’re going to be the best daddy ever.” He smiled.

She had completely relaxed against him. “Feeling better?” he whispered and she nodded. She could easily go back to sleep, but she was going to try and stay awake. “We can go back to bed,” he whispered.

“No, I’m fine.” He smiled; he knew she was tired, but he wasn’t going to push her. “I’ve gotta clean that cut today baby.” He didn’t want to do it, knew it was going to sting, but he had to. She nodded, “I know. It’ll be ok.”

The water was starting to turn cool, “Come on beautiful, let’s get you dried off and in something comfy. I’ll clean it and then fix you breakfast.”

“I’m not really hungry,” she whispered. She was afraid it would just make her sick again.

“You have to eat baby, even if it’s just something little.” He stood her up and wrapped her in a towel. He picked her up and carried her to bed. He went back and got his first aid kit. She was almost asleep laying there. He couldn’t help but smile because she wasn’t going to admit she was sleepy.

He sat down beside her and she turned to look at him. “I’ll be ok,” she whispered. He nodded as he carefully pulled the butterfly away. The cut looked nasty and he felt awful. He poured a little peroxide on a cotton ball and dabbed it to her head. She winced as he dabbed all around the cut. “I know baby, I’m sorry” he whispered as he blew air across it trying to make it stop.

Once he had it clean, he put another butterfly over it holding it closed. He softly stroked her cheek, “Better?” he asked and she nodded. Her eyes were closed and she was almost back asleep. He leaned down and softly kissed her; “Sleep baby girl. I’ll go fix us something to eat for whenever you wake up.”

“Stay,” she whispered sleepily. She wanted him to hold her, keep her safe. He laid down beside her and pulled her into his arms. She was asleep within just a few minutes. He laid there watching her. She was so beautiful, so perfect in his eyes. He was so in love with her. He gently rubbed her stomach as he thought about the baby. She was going to be the best mother ever.

He heard his phone vibrating on the table, gently rolled over and grabbed it before it could wake her. He saw it was Kelly so he rolled out of bed. “Hey Kel. What’s up?”

“How is she? I’ve tried calling her but she didn’t answer.”

“She’s good. She’s sleeping. She has a nasty bruise across her chest from her seatbelt, but Will said it was just a bruise that she would be ok. He didn’t have to put stitches in her head, and the baby’s fine.”

“Wait… Baby? What baby?” Shit. Jay forgot they hadn’t told Kelly yet.

“Um… well… She found out Friday that the reason she’s been so sick is because she’s pregnant. We were going to wait to tell until she was four months, but I kinda had to tell Will & it slipped to Voight at the scene. I just… she wanted to surprise everyone and I guess I forgot she hadn’t told you yet.”

Kelly was quiet. He couldn’t believe his little sister was getting married and having a baby. “Kelly? You still there?”

“Oh… yea. Sorry. That’s great. I’m so happy for you two. Really I am.”

Jay sighed. “Just… don’t tell please. She’ll kill me when she finds out I let it slip.”

Kelly laughed. “You’re secrets safe with me.”

“Thanks.”

“Just take care of her Jay, that’s all I want for her.”

“I will Kelly. Just like I told you when I asked permission, she’s my everything and I will do anything to make her happy.” He didn’t realize Lauren had woken and heard the end of his conversation.

“I know you will. You two are going to be just fine.” Jay smiled. “Thanks Kel. I think I’m going to go make her some breakfast, something she can keep down before she wakes.”

“Yea no problem. Call me if anything changes or yall need something.”

“Will do.” When he turned back around she was staring at him with tear filled eyes. He crawled back in beside her and pulled her into his arms. “What’s wrong baby?”

“You… you asked Kelly’s permission?” Jay smiled.

“Of course I did baby. He’s one of the most important people in your life, and I’m kinda traditional that way.” He carefully wiped her tears as she smiled.

“Come on let me go fix you something to eat & then we’ll relax all day.” She nodded. She still didn’t want to eat but she knew he would make her. He slipped his Ranger shirt over her head as he gently pulled her out of bed. He made her toast and grits. He’d never eaten them until he met her, but he knew she loved them when she was sick. He just hoped she’d be able to keep it down.

Lauren didn’t get sick, and after breakfast they relaxed on the couch getting caught up on TV shows Jay had DVRd. She was loving this time with him; knew this is what it would be like every day off he had and every night for the rest of her life. She curled into his side, laid her head on his shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as he softly played with her hair. “I can't wait for December,” she whispered as she felt herself getting sleepy.

He smiled; “Why’s that baby?”

“Because I’ll get to do this every night and every day you have off. Spending time with you is when I’m the happiest.”

“Me too baby,” he whispered as he watched her eyes getting heavy. He pulled her down across him more as she started drifting. He let her sleep as he watched more TV until he fell asleep. When she woke, he was still asleep. She had no idea how she got so lucky to have such a wonderful man, but she was so thankful she did.

He felt her move and he woke up. “Hey beautiful.” She smiled. “Sorry I woke you again.”

He rubbed her cheek. “It’s ok. You ok?” he asked and she nodded.

“Do you know how amazing you are?” she asked. He shook his head no. “Well, you are the most amazing man ever. You take such good care of me, love me no matter what, and I don’t know what I would do without you.”

He ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her to him. “You’re pretty amazing yourself,” he whispered as he kissed her. She sat up and crawled into his lap facing him. “Five years ago, I never imagined life would be this great. I love you so much,” she said as she kissed him.

Jay cooked them supper and they ate out by the lake. It was such a beautiful night. He built them a fire and they relaxed under the stars. “This is wonderful,” she whispered as he was running his hand back and forth on her stomach. He kissed her head. “Yea it is. I think the kids will love it here one day.”

Lauren smiled. “How many kids do you want?” she asked. He smiled against her hair. “As many as you do baby. I’ll give you as many as you want Lauren.”

“At least two,” she whispered. “A boy and a girl.”

Jay nodded even though she couldn’t see. He felt her shiver. “Come on baby, let’s go to bed.” Lauren was tired. She got tired so easily now and she hated it, but knew it was how it was going to be. He stood up and picked her up in his arms.

He carefully undressed her and laid her down; he crawled in beside her. It didn’t take long before she was asleep. She was so beautiful. He rubbed her stomach, scooted down a little where his head was near her stomach.

“I love you little one. I promise I’m always going to take care of you and mommy. Always be here for you. You’re going to have the best mommy ever, baby.” He slid back up beside her, left his hand resting on her stomach. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	20. Fall Break part 2

The next morning when Lauren woke, Jay still had his hand on her stomach. “You are gonna have the best daddy ever, little one,” she whispered laying her hand over his. He felt her lay her hand on his; he was such a light sleeper.

She saw him smile; “Good morning, handsome,” she smiled running her fingers through his messy bed hair. She loved it, loved that she was the only one that got to see it. “Good morning baby,” he smiled pulling her in for a kiss. She moaned as he rubbed her belly. “How are mommy and peanut this morning?” he whispered watching the smile grow on her face.

“We’re good for the moment. Not sick…. Yet,” she sighed.

“I’ll be right here if you are.” She rubbed his cheek; “I know. You’re so good to us.” She loved his smile, loved that it made his eyes shine as he looked at her. “Let’s get married,” she whispered. He brushed her dark curls from her face.

“We are baby,” he smiled. Before she could respond, she rolled and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it before she was sick. She felt him kneel down behind her and put a cold wash cloth to her head. She collapsed against him, completely worn out. That was the worst she’d been sick and she couldn’t quit crying even though she tried.

“It’s ok Lauren. I got you baby.” She looked up at him with her beautiful, tear-filled green eyes.

“Don’t feel good,” she whispered. He rubbed the wash cloth over her face. “We can stay right here until you think you’re ok… want me to get you a sprite?”

She nodded, and he reached for a towel. He laid it down and laid her head on it. He’d just made it to the kitchen when he heard her getting sick again. He ran back to the bathroom with a sprite. She was dry heaving by the time he got back in there.

He pulled her against him; “It’s ok baby.” He grabbed the wash cloth and ran it over her face. He reached for the sprite; “Try just a little for me, please,” he whispered. He hated that she was this sick and he couldn’t do anything about it. She took a small sip and then another.

“Will you hold me in bed?” she whispered almost asleep.

“Of course baby girl.” He picked her up keeping the wash cloth on her forehead. Before he got her laid down, she was asleep. He laid down with her and sent Will a text. “How long will she be sick?”

“Usually through the 1st trimester which is just 4 more weeks but some go the whole time.”

‘ _Shit’_ Jay thought before responding; “Anything we can give her? This morning was awful.”

“I’ll talk to Nat and see.”

“Thanks.” Jay sighed as he rubbed her belly. “Hey little one, you gotta quit making mommy so sick ok? Daddy doesn’t like seeing her sick, just like he’s not going to like you being sick either. We love you baby so much.” He watched her sleeping.

After a couple of hours she rolled to face him with a quiet whimper. He rubbed her back, “You’re ok Lauren,” he whispered kissing her forehead. She fluttered her eyes open to look at him. “How are you feeling baby?” he whispered when she wrapped her arms around him.

“I’m ok. This is all I need,” she smiled as he held her close. “Will’s going to talk to Natalie about getting you something so you’re not so sick.” He felt her nod.

“I would be ok, Jay.”

“I know… I just hate seeing you so sick.”

“I know,” she leaned up and kissed him. He was so good to her. She gazed into his blue eyes; “I meant it earlier about getting married,” she smiled.

He chuckled; “We are baby.”

“No, I mean I don’t want to wait. I wanna get married, now.”

“You’ve still have to finish school babe…”

She sighed, “I know and I will, but I’m ready to be your wife,” she smiled big.

“I’m ready for it too. Ready for you to have my name, ready to take care of you all the time.” Her face lit up as he talked.

“Then let’s do it, right here. The view by the lake is gorgeous with the changing leaves. Kelly, Will and Mouse can come up and maybe Shay and Gabby. It would be perfect.” He loved seeing her face so alight with excitement. “What about your family?” he asked quietly.

Lauren sighed. “You and Kelly are my family. Everyone in my family is here.” He held her to him and kissed her forehead.

“I know it hasn’t been easy baby, but they’re still your family.”

“I know… but I don’t want them to ruin our day. So let’s just do it,” she smiled again. He cradled her face; “Yea?” he asked with a soft smile.

“Yes!” she smiled big. She pushed him on his back and crawled on top of him as she kissed him. “Saturday?” she asked.

“Yea. We’ll call them today.” He loved seeing that big smile on her face. She grabbed his hands pinning them to the bed as she kissed him hard. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” she said in between kisses completely giddy. Jay couldn’t help but smile. “I love you too baby.”

She kissed all over his face and around to his ear. “I want you so bad,” she whispered before biting his ear lobe. She heard his groan as she kissed up and down his neck. She sucked on his pulse point before pushing up to gaze into those blue eyes she loved so much.

“I get to be your wife,” she whispered before kissing him hard, slipping her tongue into his mouth. She kept his hands pinned to the bed and only pulled back when they both needed air. “Baby? Feel ok?” he asked catching his breath. He tried to move his hands needing to touch her but she held him down.

“I’m great… just need you,” she whispered rocking against him. He groaned as she moved.

“What’s the matter Detective?” she smirked.

“Nothing, baby. Not a thing, this is perfect.” She leaned down and kissed him hard. She pulled back and kissed around to his ear; “Quiero montar le duro y rápido,” she whispered.

“Fuck… Lauren” Jay groaned as he arched into her as she kept him pinned to the bed. She smirked, knew that telling him she wanted to ride him hard and fast would get to him. “What do you want?” she whispered gazing into his blue eyes.

He tried to move his hands again, but she held him still. “Quiero simplemente lo que dijiste.” He smiled as her eyes closed on a moan hearing him tell her that he wanted just what she said. She leaned down and kissed him as she sank down on him. He was already so hard and she was so wet.

“Jay,” she moaned as she sat still adjusting.

“Lauren…. Baby… so wet…” he panted. He looked up at her with so much love she couldnt help but smile even though there were tears in her eyes. “Hey… what is it?” he whispered finally getting his hands free to brush the hair from her face.

She shook her head as she nodded to the side wanting him to roll them. He carefully rolled, looked down at her, not moving. “Tell me baby,” he whispered kissing her cheek.

“Hurts a little,” she whispered as she felt him pull back some. He brushed his thumb across her cheek as he placed soft opened mouthed kisses around her face. “We’ll go slow. Let me take care of you. Then when you’re all better you can ride me hard and fast,” he smiled making her moan.

He kissed down her neck, softly sucking. He could feel her getting wetter as he sucked; he slowly moved trying not to go too hard or too deep. She arched up around him as he sucked on her neck; “Jay… oh god… please,” she panted.

He smiled, “Please what?” he whispered Licking her neck. She looked up at him, desire clear in her eyes. “Suck on me, take me, make me come for you,” she whispered. He groaned as he kept the pace slow.

“Jay…. Please….” She begged arching into him again. He sucked on her neck as he slowly slid in and out. ‘So… close…. Jay… Jay…” she panted.

“Patience baby,” he whispered holding still.

“Jay… no… dont stop… please dont stop,” she begged. He smiled, leaned down and sucked on her neck hard enough to leave his mark as he thrust into her. She arched into him, grabbed his hair holding him to her neck as she screamed his name. Feeling her come hard around him, tipped him over and he moaned her name into her neck.

He rolled to his side pulling her with him as he softly kissed her. “You ok?” he whispered brushing the hair from her face. She sleepily nodded. He rubbed her cheek, “Sleep baby girl.”

It wasnt long and she drifted off. Once she was good and asleep, he slid out of bed and walked over to the doors leading out to the back porch from their bedroom. She was right, the view around the lake was gorgeous. He couldnt believe they were actually going to get married on Saturday, but he was so damn happy.

He grabbed his phone and stepped out on the porch where he was still close if she needed him. He called his brother. “Hey, Will,” he said when Will answered.

“Hey, everything ok?”

“Yea, yea, everything’s fine. Did uh... did you get a chance to talk to Nat?”

“Not yet. I figured I could tonight.”

“Tonight???”

“Uh…. Yea… we’re having dinner together after shift.”

“I knew it!”

“Shut up.” Will laughed.

Jay laughed too. “Ok, ok. Well the other reason I called. What are your plans for Saturday?”

“Um… nothing I know of. Haven’t made any plans. Why?”

“Well…. Could you bring me my suit and our rings and come to our wedding?” Jay asked with the biggest smile even though Will couldnt see it.

“What?! Seriously?”

“Yea… she wants to get married Saturday, doesnt want to wait.”

“Yea, yea of course I’ll be there. That’s… wow… that’s great little brother.”

“Thanks.” They finished up their conversation with Jay telling him where everything was and what he needed him to do. He was so excited; come Saturday he would be a married man to the most perfect woman.

He called Mouse next and relayed the same message. He’d let her call and tell Kelly. He couldn’t wait. She was going to be the most beautiful bride, he just knew it.

He heard a noise behind him and turned and saw her. She was standing in the doorway, wrapped in nothing but the sheet smiling at him. He walked over towards her, wrapped his arms around her. “Hey beautiful,” he smiled.

“Hey. What are you doing?” she asked.

“I called Will and Mouse and then was looking out over the lake imagining how beautiful you’re going to be on Saturday.”

He loved watching the smile spread across her face. “I can’t wait,” she whispered. Jay was watching her closely, knew the minute she felt sick. He wrapped his arm around her and held her over the porch railing.

“Damn it,” he muttered holding her head. He could feel her crying. She hadnt had anything to eat and only a few sips of sprite, so she was dry heaving again.

“Ok, it’s ok baby. You’re ok,” he whispered.

“Jay…” she sighed before she went limp in his arms.

“Lauren?.. Lauren?!” he was trying not to panic. He picked her up and carried her to bed. He grabbed his phone dialing Will as he went to get a wet wash cloth. He laid it on her forehead. “Hey Jay?”

“Will! Somethings wrong… need you to help her,” he was rambling incoherently.

“Ok, ok, slow down and tell me what happened.”

Jay took a deep breath running the wash cloth over her face. “She was asleep when I called you earlier, and then she got up. She was sick again. She hasnt eaten and only had a few sips of sprite because she was so sick this morning. She… She passed out…”

“Ok, it’s ok. She’s just dehydrated. Run a cold wash cloth over her face and see if she’ll wake up. Nat and I will be there soon.”

“Lauren…. Baby… please wake up,” he whispered running the cold wash cloth over her face.

It wasnt long and he saw her eyes flutter. “Hey, baby, wake up.”

She groaned; “Jay… Jay…”

“Hey, I’m right here. You’re ok,” he whispered.

“Dont feel good…. Hold me.” She had tears in her eyes and he hated it. He laid down and pulled her into his arms. “You’re just dehydrated, that’s why you passed out. Will and Nat are on their way. You’re going to be ok,” he whispered wiping her tears.

He rubbed her back as he held her, praying they would both be ok. She drifted to sleep as he held her, listening to make sure she was still breathing. There was a knock on the bedroom door. “Jay, it’s just us,” Will called.

Jay had slipped his t-shirt over her head while she slept and managed to get his sweats on her. “Come on in,” he called quietly.

“How is she?”

“She difted to sleep about an hour ago.”

Will nodded as he started hooking up an IV of fluids for her. “We got her some medicine. We’re going to try just a half a dose at first because it can make her really sleepy. Nat’s going to check on the baby, and then we’ll stay tonight to see how she does, ok?”

Jay nodded. “Hey baby, wake up for me. We’re gonna see peanut,” he whispered in her ear. Lauren fluttered her eyes open.

“Hey, sweetie. How are you feeling?” Will asked.

“I’m ok… just sleepy.”

“Well Nat came and we’re going to see the baby ok? And then you can sleep all you want.”

She nodded as Jay rubbed her cheek. Natalie turned on the ultrasound machine, and their baby’s heartbeat filled the room. Lauren had a few tears of joy slip down her cheeks; “Our baby,” she whispered.

He rubbed her cheek as they looked at the little peanut shape on the screen where a little blip was moving back and forth. “Our baby,” Jay smiled.

“The baby looks fine guys. We’re going to try half a dose of zofran to see if that will help with the sickness ok?” Lauren nodded and Will gave her the shot in her IV.

“Alright, get some rest we’ll be in the living room ok?” Lauren nodded as she started drifting back to sleep knowing her baby was ok.

“Come out whenever she goes to sleep and we’ll talk ok?” Will whispered and Jay nodded. It didnt take long and she was asleep. Jay waited until she was good and asleep before laying her back against the bed.

Jay found Will and Nat in the kitchen fixing dinner. “Hey guys, thanks for this.”

“No problem little brother. Here, eat,” Will said setting a plate in front of him.

Jay nodded. “This is… all normal right?” Natalie nodded; “Some women have it worse than others without any real reason, but she’s going to be fine Jay I promise.”

“So we were thinking about just staying here until Saturday if that was good with you?”

Jay nodded “Yea that’ll be great. Did you bring everything?”

Will nodded “Sure did. Who all is coming, since ya know it’s last minute?” he winked.

Jay chuckled; “It’s what she wants and you know, I’ll give her anything she wants. But you two and Mouse, Kelly and Shay and maybe Gabby I think she said. Nothing real big, gonna do it out by the lake.”

“It’ll be beautiful,” Natalie said and Jay nodded his agreement.

“Thanks guys. I really appreciate all of this… but I’m kinda beat…”

“Go get some sleep little brother. I’ll come check on yall in a bit and see about those fluids. But if you need something before then, just yell.”

Jay nodded “I will. Night.”

He crawled in bed with her pulling her close. He kissed her forehead and laid his hand on her belly. “I love you both so much. You’re gonna be ok,” he whispered as he drifted to sleep.


	21. Wedding Day!

The Zofran helped and her sickness had been at a minimum. They’d got everything planned for Saturday and Jay loved seeing her so excited. Saturday dawned bright and clear; it was going to be a beautiful day. Kelly, Shay, Mouse, and Gabby had come up Friday night. They’d all had dinner and Lauren decided to share their news with them. They were all so excited and happy for them. Shay was extremely excited to start buying baby clothes and things.

When Lauren awoke Saturday morning, she was alone. There was a note on Jay’s pillow that said Shay was making them be traditional and he would see her at six when she would walk down the aisle to him. Lauren smiled; she was getting married today. Today she would become Mrs. Jay Matthew Halstead and she couldn’t be happier.

She rolled out of bed and slipped on one of Jay’s shirts. She walked into the kitchen and saw flowers for the wedding. She smiled; breakfast was waiting for her with another note. This one said that everyone was setting up at the lake and for her to go enjoy a nice relaxing bath and that he couldn’t wait to see her. Lauren couldn’t quit smiling; she was so excited.

She ate the pancakes and bacon, then went to their bathroom. The white dress Shay had brought for her was hanging on the back of the door. It tied around the back of her neck and was sleeveless. It was long and flowy and was completely perfect. She let her fingers run over it and smiled.

She ran a warm bubble bath and sank into it. She thought about how much her life had changed since August. She had her true love back, they were getting married today, they were gonna have a baby, and in one and half months she would be done with college. She relaxed against the tub and let her fingers drift over her stomach.

She couldn’t wait to feel her baby moving and growing. She knew it was still early and she had to be careful, but she already loved their baby so much. She relaxed until the water turned cool. She jumped in the shower and washed the bubbles off and her hair. She wanted it to be all curly today because she knew he loved her curls.

She showered quickly and got out. She slipped on one of his button-ups knowing it would be easier to get off later. She walked back into the bedroom and over to the porch doors. She gazed out at everyone setting up at the lake. They had lined the dock with roses and set up the archway at the end.

She knew it would be beautiful just as the sun would be setting. She heard a knock on the door. “Come in,” she called.

Kelly walked in; “Hey Sis.”

“Hey,” she said giving him a hug.

“You sure you wanna do this?”

She nodded, “Yes I do. This is what I want. He makes me happy, and I love him.”

“I know,” Kelly smiled. “I have no doubt he’s always going to take care of you and the baby.”

Lauren smiled; “You’re…. you’re not disappointed are you?” she whispered letting her gaze drop to the floor.

Kelly pulled her chin back up; “No, Lauren, I’m not. I love you and no matter what I’m always going to because you’re my sister. I’m happy for you.”

Lauren smiled and gave him a tight hug. She’d been afraid he’d be disappointed in her. “Alright, I’m going to finish helping set up and get ready. I’ll be back soon,” he smiled and Lauren nodded. Kelly was going to be the one giving her away.

Lauren went to start working on her hair when Shay, Gabby, and Natalie joined her. Nat made sure she was feeling ok and the girls started on her hair and makeup. Will brought them lunch around one. The girls ate and then started getting themselves ready.

Around four, they helped her slip into her dress. She looked absolutely beautiful. The girls took a few pictures and then they heard Kelly knock on the door. He was blown away at how good and grown up she looked.

He gave her a hug being careful not to mess up her make up. “You look beautiful, Sis. So grown up and beautiful.”

Lauren smiled and wiped her eyes; “Thanks Kel.” The girls all went out to give them a minute. Kelly carefully wiped her eyes.

“I’m so proud of you. Despite everything, you’re a beautiful and smart girl. You’ve done so well for yourself and today you’re going to be someone’s wife. But no matter what, you’re always going to be my little sister and I love you.”

“Kel…” she said as tears gathered. Her hormones were all over the place. He smiled carefully wiping her eyes. “I love you too Kel. I wouldn’t be at this point without you.” There was a knock at the door; “It’s time,” Shay called.

“Ready?” Kelly asked and Lauren nodded with a big smile. Shay passed her her bouquet and they walked out through the cabin. On the back porch, Lauren could see him; he looked so handsome and she couldn’t quit smiling. They walked across the backyard and got to the dock.

When Jay saw her for the first time, he was blown away. Tears gathered in his eyes; she was so breathtaking. He wiped at his eyes as she got closer. When she was standing in front of him, she whispered, “I love you.” He whispered it back

“Who gives this woman to be married to this man?”

“I do,” Kelly said as Jay reached out for her hand. Kelly placed Lauren’s hand in his and gave Jay a nod. Lauren gave Shay her bouquet as Jay held both of her hands. The preacher said some words, but Lauren barely heard them; she was so lost in Jay’s gaze.

“Jay? Do you take this woman, to have and to hold from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” he smiled.

“And Lauren, do you take this man, to have and to hold from this day forward, as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” she smiled giving his hands a squeeze.

The preacher had Jay repeat after him; “I Jay, take you Lauren Kathleen, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part.”

Then it was Lauren’s turn; “I Lauren, take you Jay Matthew, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health until death do us part.”

Will handed over their rings and the preacher prayed over them. He handed Lauren’s ring to Jay and told him to repeat after him; “With this ring, I thee wed.” Jay did and slipped the rings on her finger.

Lauren took Jay’s ring and repeated the same words before sliding the ring on his finger. She’d never been so happy in her life. “By the power vested in me by the state of Wisconsin and Illinois, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Jay you may kiss your bride.”

He grabbed her face and kissed her hard and deep. He slowly released her lips as everyone cheered and clapped. He scooped her up bridal style and carried her back to the cabin. They had burgers with everyone and since Lauren had to drive back tomorrow, everyone left not long after they finished eating to give the newly married coupled some time.

Once everyone was gone, Jay carried her to their bedroom and slowly peeled her dress off her. “Mrs. Halstead you are so beautiful,” he whispered cradling her face. Lauren couldn’t help but giggle.

“Why thank you Mr. Halstead.”

Jay smiled and scooped her up tossing her gently on the bed crawling over her. He softly kissed on her, just loving being with her. “I have another surprise for you,” he whispered.

Lauren smiled. “What are you up to now?”

Jay chuckled; “This isn’t our last night together.”

Lauren laughed; “I know babe. We just got married so we have plenty more nights together.”

He laughed; “I know that silly. But you’re supposed to leave tomorrow and I’m just not ready to be away from you yet.”

Lauren sighed; she hated thinking about having to leave him. “I know babe. I’m not ready to go back; but I have to finish school,” she whispered.

Jay smiled. “I know this, which is why I’m going to go back with you for this week.” Lauren squealed and Lauren pulled him down for a hard kiss. “You are? You’re really coming to Tennessee with me?”

“Yes, dear wife, I am.”

Lauren was so happy; she wrapped her arms around his back and kept kissing him. “There’s more,” he whispered.

“What else?” she asked excitedly.

“Kelly and I are going to pay for an apartment or something for this last month and a half. Even if it’s a really nice motel room, we’re getting you out of that house.”

“Oh… Jay… I… I dunno what to say,” she whispered as tears gathered in her eyes.

“You don’t have to say anything love,” he smiled wiping her eyes. “I couldn’t let you go home alone and break the news that you were married when we know how she feels about it. And I’m not letting you and our baby stay there any longer than you have to.”

Lauren kissed him hard again. “I love you so much Jay Matthew. I dunno how I got so lucky to find you, but I’m so glad I did. I can't imagine this life without you.”

Jay wiped at her tears and smiled. “I’m the lucky one Lauren Kathleen. The day I met you, I knew there would never be another woman for me.” Lauren smiled as they laid there in each other’s arms just kissing. They fell asleep wrapped up in each other both so extremely happy that this is what the rest of their lives would be like come December.


	22. Tennessee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews make my day and I love knowing how much yall enjoy what I write. :) Enjoy :)

The next morning Jay woke before Lauren. She was curled around him sound asleep. He smiled as he kissed her cheek. She was so beautiful and glowing, and the thought of waking up to her every morning made him extremely happy.

Jay slowly eased out of bed and went to make her breakfast. He settled on cheese grits and toast even though she hadn’t been sick. He was glad the medicine was helping, and he figured this would help her stomach as they traveled to Tennessee today. He couldn’t believe he was actually going back with her, but he really wanted to.

He meant it when he said he wasn’t ready to be away from her yet, and since they’d just gotten married, he had time off for a honeymoon. He was going to wait until after she was done with school to take her anywhere, but just getting this time with her was going to make him happy.

He’d just finished her cheese grits when he heard the bathroom door slam shut. “Shit,” he sighed running for their bathroom. He pushed the door open getting a wash cloth good and cold before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her hair up in a messy bun.

She was crying and so sick. “I’m here baby. It’s ok,” he whispered holding her against him. Once she was done, she sagged back against him.

“I’m sorry Jay,” she cried.

Jay turned her around to face him and picked her up. “Don’t apologize baby. It’s gonna happen and it’s ok.”

She laid her head on his shoulder wrapping around him as more tears fell. “But I forgot,” she whispered.

He carried her to bed rubbing her back. “Forgot what babe?”

“To take my medicine last night.” She turned her face into his pillow when he laid her down. “This is not a sexy way wake up the day after your wedding,” she mumbled.

Jay smiled as he laid down softly grabbing her face to make her look at him. She kept her eyes closed as he wiped at her tears. “Look at me Lauren,” he quietly pleaded. Lauren slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. “It doesn’t bother me. It’s going to happen because you are carrying our baby. You’re going through so much to give us a baby so I don’t care to be there every time you are sick. Whatever I have to do to make it easier on you I will. And… no matter what you’re always sexy to me,” he smiled rubbing her cheek.

Lauren just snuggled as close as possible to him. “I made you breakfast,” he whispered rubbing her back.

“Not hungry,” she mumbled.

“I know, but we can take it with us, and it will help with the medicine.”

“Ok,” she whispered.

Jay just laid there holding her knowing that was what was going to make her feel better the fastest. After a few minutes, he felt her drift back to sleep. He slowly eased out of bed and started packing their stuff.

It wasn’t long and he heard her whimpering as she reached for him in her sleep. He sat down on the bed. “Hey, baby, I’m here. You’re ok,” he whispered gently picking her up to lay against him. “I’ve got your medicine,” he whispered once she’d settled against him.

She sat up a little to take it with a sip of sprite before snuggling back into him. “Wanna go and try to eat?”

Lauren nodded and he carried her to the kitchen. “I know you don’t wanna, but we need to hit the road soon.” She sighed as he started feeding her. She really wasn’t ready to head back and leave her home, but she knew she had to.

Once she’d finished, she wrapped back around him holding him close. “Every night this week we’ll be like this, I promise.” He felt her smile against his neck. “I’ve got us a room for the week too,” he said as he picked her up and carried her out to the car. He got her settled in the passenger seat and went back for their stuff. Once he had everything loaded, they headed for Tennessee.

Lauren slept part of the way. Once they passed through Nashville, Lauren sent a text to her mom letting her know she was almost there. She also let her know that Jay was coming with her. Her mom’s response was that he wasn’t welcome at her house. Lauren was nervous about how this was going to go and Jay kept trying to reassure her that it would be fine.

He didn’t want her stressing any more than was necessary because of the baby. He already figured on her mom saying that, and he was glad he’d already gotten them a room. Three hours later, they pulled up in her driveway. “What do we do?” she asked him.

He grabbed her hand and leaned over and kissed her. “We go in, tell them the news and I will tell them that you are moving out. We’ll get your stuff for school, and then tomorrow and through the week, while she’s at school, I’ll come pack up your stuff and move it out.”

Lauren nodded. “I dunno what I would do without you,” she smiled.

“You’ll never have to know.”

She grabbed his hand tight as they got out. They headed up the steps to the front porch and Lauren used her key to get in. Her mom and Michael were up watching TV. When her mom saw Jay, she started to flip out but Lauren stopped her.

“Mom please, just listen.”

“I already told you,”

Lauren interrupted her; “I know ok?! I know what you said. But you’re going to listen and then we’ll be gone.”

Her mother kept quiet as she settled back on the couch. “He came with me because we wanted to tell you our news. We got married yesterday.”

Neither her mom nor Michael said a word. “I know you’re probably not going to be happy, but this is my life and I’m happy. This is what I wanted to do and there is nothing you can do about it because we’re legally married now.”

“You are not moving to Chicago! You have school to finish that we paid for! That car is mine too!!! How dare you?!” she screamed. Jay moved Lauren behind him. He’d had enough.

“Mrs. Lane, please. Enough is enough! Your daughter is a very bright and smart woman who can make her own decisions. She is not moving to Chicago right away, but she is moving out this week. I will be by during the day while you and your husband are at work to get her stuff. It will be up to her whether she tells you any more details about her life or not.”

Her mother was furious “Get out of my house! You are not welcome here! You and that brother of hers have ruined my daughter!!!”

Jay could feel her trembling behind him; he turned to face her and gave her a gentle smile. “Go get your stuff for school,” he said quietly and Lauren gave him a small nod. She went to her room and packed up her school stuff that she needed for the week. She grabbed several changes of dress clothes too. She’d let Jay get the rest of her stuff.

She could still hear her mother screaming at him in the living room so she was quick. When she came back, he took her bags from them. “I’m sorry you feel this way, mom, but this is my life and this is what I want. These were my decisions that make me extremely happy. I’m sorry you disagree. Maybe once you accept that this is how it’s going to be then we can talk.”

Her mother refused to speak to her; “I do love you mom and I hope eventually you’ll come around.”

Jay put his hand on the small of her back and they left; Lauren let a few tears fall once they were back in the car. Jay reached over and gently wiped them.

“It’s going to be ok baby. I promise.”

Lauren nodded as he headed back to Athens. He’d gotten them a room at the Comfort Inn, right there in town. Luckily it would only be about a ten minute drive from her school. He got them checked in and they headed up to their room. Lauren was exhausted; it had been a long trip home, she’d been sick, and she’d listened to her mom.

Jay tossed their bags on the couch in their room. He wrapped his arms around her and softly kissed her. “I love you beautiful,” he whispered holding her close.

“I love you too,” she smiled.

“Come on let’s get you and peanut in bed.”

Lauren leaned up on tip toe and softly kissed him. “I like the way you think Mr. Halstead,” she giggled. Jay just loved seeing her happy again. That night Lauren slept snuggled right against him the whole night.

When her alarm went off the next morning for school, she almost cried. She really just wanted to spend the whole day with him, but she knew she had to go. She just kept telling herself she only had one and half months left.

While she was at school, Jay went and started packing up her stuff. It was definitely going to take him a good three days to get everything boxed and moved. They had decided to keep her at the motel instead of trying to find an apartment for the month and a half.

Kelly was going to help him split the cost. Since she’d just be staying there, they had decided to have most of her stuff shipped back to Chicago and only keep things that were essential.

Jay was always back at the motel before she got out of school. Each afternoon, as long as she wasn’t too worn out, they would go out in town and she would show him around and they would eat. Lauren was loving all this time with him, but she knew it would be coming to an end soon.

By Wednesday, Jay had all her stuff packed. Luckily, he’d not had any run ins with her mom. He hoped for Lauren’s sake, her mother got over it soon, but it really didn’t matter to him. After the way they had been treating her, it wouldn’t bother him if they didn’t have anything to do with her again. But this was her mom, and he wasn’t going to keep her from her.

That night, he let her go through the boxes and decide on what was essential and what wasn’t. Everything that wasn’t, he was going to have shipped to his apartment in Chicago tomorrow. If it went like he thought, it would all be there by the time he got back on Sunday. If it would get there early, he would have Kelly go by and make sure it all arrived.

Thursday and Friday flew by and Lauren was sad. That meant she had a day and half left with him and she didn’t want it to end. Friday night they drove up the skyway that went through the mountains in Tennessee and North Carolina. They drove all the way into North Carolina and decided to stay the night.

They ate and when they got back to their room, Lauren was staring out the window over the mountains. Jay snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He softly kissed on her neck as he let his hands rest on her belly. “What are you thinking beautiful?” he whispered.

“How much I don’t want you to have to go back.”

Jay softly kissed on her neck. “I know baby… I don’t want to go either.”

Lauren turned around in his embrace and rested her head against his chest. “It’s going to be five weeks before I see you again,” she whispered.

“I’ll skype with you every night baby/ the motel has Wi-Fi so we can. It’ll fly by and when you come back, there will be plenty of surprises for you for your birthday and it’ll be Thanksgiving.”

Lauren smiled. She knew he would do something big for her birthday and she was really excited. Kelly always tried to make it extra special because it was so close to Thanksgiving and since it was on Thanksgiving this year, she knew Kelly and Jay would make it super special.

“I know… it just seems like such a long time.”

“I know, but I promise, it’ll fly by.”

Lauren leaned up and kissed him wrapping her arms around him as he picked her up. He carried her to the bed and they made slow sweet love all night long.

Saturday, they went exploring in North Carolina. They visited little odds and end shops and got a souvenir or two to hang up in the apartment back home.

On Sunday, they drove back across the skyway and headed to Knoxville. Jay’s flight was leaving at five and then Lauren would be headed back to Athens. She was super sad that he was leaving, and she tried not to cry.

Her hormones were all over the place though and once he’d checked in, the tears started. He held her against him as they waited. “I promise it’s going to be ok. You can text me all you want, and I will skype every night,” he said rubbing her back.

“I know,” she whispered. “It’s just…. I love being with you so much.”

“I know sweetheart… I totally know.” He tipped her chin up and softly kissed her. “You and peanut will be just fine and you’ll be back in my arms before you know it. And then after Thanksgiving, you just have a few days and you’ll be back for good.”

Lauren smiled at this. If she could just make it through these next five weeks, then she would be almost free. Because he was right, after Thanksgiving she had to come back for three days and then she would be moving to Chicago for good. They would come back for her graduation, and maybe Christmas with her family depending on how things played out over the next five weeks.

His flight was called and he softly kissed her again. “I love you Lauren Kathleen Halstead and don’t you forget it. We can do this and I will call you as soon as I’m home.”

Lauren wiped her tears and tried to be brave. “I love you too Jay Matthew and I will be waiting. Be safe,” she whispered.

“Always,” he smiled. He kissed her one last time before he boarded his flight home.

Lauren headed back to Athens; she cried, but it wasn’t sobs. She missed him so much already, but she just kept telling herself she could do it. By the time she was back and settled in the room, he called and let her know he’d made it home. They stayed on the phone until she fell asleep.

Just five weeks he repeated to himself as he too drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I had to end it somewhere, and I really hope you enjoyed it! Please let me know what you thought!   
> Up Next: Will her mom come around? Will they be able to stand being apart for five weeks??


	23. What Do We Do Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstamamawifeafriend I hope this makes your day from hell better & is everything you imagined and more :) Another idea she gave me and I ran with because like always I loved it! :)

The first two weeks drug by. Lauren text him all she could, and every night they skyped for hours. She missed him something terrible and decided she couldn’t go five weeks without being in his arms. So, she decided to surprise him for Halloween.

On Friday, she left school at lunch because they were just having a basketball game during the afternoon. She’d bought a plane ticket on Thursday, and she headed out for the airport. Shay was the only one who knew she was coming and had agreed to get her from the airport.

She got to Knoxville and checked in; she only had about thirty minutes to wait before boarding. She knew he’d probably worry when she went MIA for an hour and a half, but in the end it would be worth it.

She turned off her phone as she got ready to board, but before she walked on, she just had this weird feeling that something wasn’t right. She went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face praying she wasn’t sick. She decided that it might just be better for her and the baby if she just drove.

Since it was just for the weekend, she only had her duffle bag so she didn’t have to worry about getting her luggage. She heard the last call, but she didn’t get on. She headed back to her car. It was still early enough for her to make the nine hour drive and she hoped she’d feel better along the way. She never once thought about turning her phone back on.

 

In Chicago, Shay was waiting at the airport. She knew Kelly and Jay would be excited to see her, and Shay loved having a part in the surprise. She had just twenty minutes until her flight would be landing. As she waited, her phone started ringing; it was Kelly.

“Hey Kel,” she answered happily.

“Hey. You gotta come in, we got called. Apparently a flight crashed right outside the city and it’s all hands on deck.”

“Shit. Ok I’m on my way.” She let out a sigh after hanging up. She sent Lauren a text for when she would get off and let her know what had happened and that she would either have to call Jay or catch a cab. As she glanced at the flight board, she saw her flight was delayed anyways.

Shay headed to the station not thinking anymore about it. They all geared up and headed out. When they got there, PD was also there. Jay came up to them and gave them the update. He also asked them if they’d heard from Lauren lately because his texts had stopped going through.

Kelly said he hadn’t, but Shay just grinned. Both of them looked at her expectantly. “Well since it looks like we’ll be here all night, I guess I’ll tell. She was going to surprise you and come up for the weekend. I was supposed to get her at the airport, but we got called out to here. When I left, her flight had been delayed.”

Jay couldn’t quit smiling; he was so glad he was going to get to see her because he had really missed her. Truth be told, he’d been thinking about taking a few days and going to visit her because five weeks was just way too long.

After an hour of working the scene, Jay found Shay again and asked if she’d heard from her. Shay pulled her phone out; “Nope, my text never went through either.” Jay was beginning to wonder as Mouse walked up with an update.

“So I finally got access to the flight info. It was flight 1620 out of Knoxville. There were 140 including the crew and passengers….” He trailed off before he finished seeing how pale Shay had suddenly become.

“Shay?” Jay asked tentatively.

“That…. That…. She was on that flight. Oh god….” She said taking off for the plane, Jay not far behind her.

Kelly caught her before she got close to the plane. “Whoa… whoa… what are you doing? You know you can’t,” he said reaching his arm out to stop Jay too. Her tears had started flowing hard as Kelly stopped Jay. “That…. That…. That was her flight Kel,” Shay cried into his shoulder. Kelly turned and looked at the plane barely holding them back.

He already knew that it wasn’t looking good that they would find any survivors. He felt frozen in time; Jay managed to get loose and headed for the plane. Seeing his brother-in-law running towards that death trap spurred him into action.

He ran after him and tackled him before he got to the plane. Jay fought him as tears poured down his cheeks. He couldn’t lose her, he just couldn’t. “Let me go Kelly... Let me go,” he cried.

“I can't Jay….I can't.”

“She’s on there…. I’ve got to find them…. Let me go Kel… I can't lose them…. I can't,” he cried trying to break Kelly’s hold.

“I know…. I know… I know,” Kelly said over and over as his own tears fell. He couldn’t handle thinking about losing his baby sister; she had to be ok. Kelly held him down until the fight went out of him. Mouse had come over seeing them. “Jay, I’ll let you up if you swear to me you’ll stay here and let us do our job.”

Jay barely nodded and Kelly let him go. “I swear I’ll find her Jay… it’ll be ok,” he said even though he wasn’t totally sure he believed what he was saying. He knew better than to tell Jay to go home, so he left him there with Mouse to go look for his sister.

 

Mouse had been working on getting the flight list and it was even more important now. He’d updated Voight on what he knew, and Hank put in calls to get the list telling Mouse to just stay with Jay. Jay was just sitting there alternating between staring at the plane and calling her. Each call went to voicemail and the more he called the more desperate the voicemails became. The tears were just pouring and drying on his face as he waited. He kept praying she’d missed the flight for some reason, but as time passed he grew more and more heartbroken.

Kelly covered area after area having his team look for her too. They kept pulling bodies out; none were Lauren and none had survived. Five hours had passed and still nothing. Kelly took a short break to check on Jay and catch his breath. He had a feeling she was still alive, but they all needed the proof.

Jay was still sitting where Kelly had left him. Kelly sat down beside him taking his helmet off. “Jay… go home and rest. I swear to you I’ll call as soon as I know something.” Jay shook his head no. All he wanted was his girl, and if he couldn’t have her then he’d rather die than go on without her. He’d sit right there until he knew.

He’d killed his phone battery from calling her so much. Kelly sighed and patted his back understanding how he felt. He got up and headed back to keep looking.

Mouse finally got the flight list. He sat by Jay as he looked it over. She’d checked in, but it didn’t show that she’d ever actually boarded. He tried to give Jay some hope, but he really didn’t want to, knowing it still could be crushed later. He sent Will a really long text letting him know what was going on.

Will text back and said that he’d been called in because of the accident, but he would be leaving in thirty minutes. He said he’d head that way to be there for Jay. Mouse just sat there with Jay waiting, knowing he just needed support.

 

Will ran by Jay’s apartment and grabbed him a hoodie. It was getting cold since the sun had set, and he knew Jay wouldn’t have one with him. He sighed seeing all of Lauren’s stuff around the apartment. He’d prayed ever since Mouse text that she would be ok. He was afraid if anything happened to her, then he would lose his brother as well.

He opened the door to head out, and there she stood with her duffle bag on her shoulder. “Hey, Will,” she smiled. He knew he was just staring at her but he was damn happy to see her.

“Will?” she asked hesitantly, and he pulled her into a tight hug. “Oh thank God…. Thank God,” he said.

Lauren hugged him back, but was totally confused. “Will? What is going on?”

He pulled back to look at her checking her over for injuries. “How did you get here? Why haven’t you answered your phone? Are you ok? Are you hurt?” he rapid fired at her confusing her even more.

“I’m fine, thanks. I drove here.” She pulled her phone out and realized it was still turned off. “And my phone is off. I guess I forgot to turn it back on when I decided to drive instead of fly. What the hell is going on anyways?” she asked needing answers.

Will hugged her again as she turned her phone back on. “The plane… your flight, it crashed right outside the city. We all thought you were on it because you weren’t answering and Shay said you were flying up. There…. There haven’t been any survivors….”

“Oh God,” she whispered dropping her bag right inside the door feeling relief that she hadn’t got on it. “Jay?... Oh God where is he Will? He must be beside himself.”

“He’s out there. His phone is dead but come on. I’m headed out there now.” Will wrapped his arm around her waist leading her down to his car. He was so thankful she was ok. On the way, all of Jay’s voicemails started coming through.

Lauren listened to every single one, her heart breaking at how desperate and upset he sounded as he pleaded and begged for her to be ok. She couldn’t believe she’d forgotten to turn on her phone, and she felt awful for all the stress and pain she’d put them all through.

When they pulled up at the scene, Will helped her out. They saw Antonio first and asked where Jay was. He pointed them in the direction, and Lauren saw him sitting on the ground just staring at the plane. She took off in a dead run for him and yelled his name over and over.

He heard someone calling his name; it sounded like her and he let himself hope. When he turned and saw her running towards him, he jumped up and ran as fast as he could. He met her halfway and she jumped into his arms. He held her tight almost thinking he was dreaming. He felt her tears on his shoulder as his own fell from relief.

“I’m so so so so so sorry,” she cried over and over holding on to him for dear life. Will left them to go find Kelly and Shay and let them know.

Jay wouldn’t let her go. He just held her to him. He finally caught his breath enough to tell her it was ok and wipe her tears. She just kept apologizing so he kissed her. “It’s ok baby… it’s ok because you’re here… you’re ok… peanut is ok… it’s ok,” he whispered.

He saw Kelly and Shay running over and he reluctantly set her down. Kelly and Shay wrapped her in a tight hug, so glad that she was ok. Will gave Jay a reassuring hug. He just wanted to get her home and never let her out of his arms or sight.

After she’d repeatedly apologized, Kelly let her go telling her it was ok. It’d been a really long day for all of them; as Jay picked her back up, they all breathed a sigh of relief seeing their replacements arrive.

Will volunteered to drive them home and Jay agreed. Kelly promised to stop by tomorrow after some much needed rest. On the way to the car, Hank stopped them and told Jay not to worry about work all weekend. Jay thanked him and carried her on to the car. He sat in the backseat with her, holding her in his lap the whole way. He wasn’t willing to let her go.

When they got back to the apartment, Jay carried her upstairs. Will told him to call if he needed anything and he headed on to his apartment. After their wedding two weeks ago, Will had found his own apartment in the same building knowing they would need their own space.

 

Jay carried her into their apartment and kicked the door closed. He carried her to the bathroom knowing they both needed showers after today. He sat her down long enough to undress them as the water warmed up. He picked her up and just held her close. She kept repeating over and over how sorry she was for all she’d put him through.

Jay kept reassuring her that it was ok because she was here and she was ok. After he got them washed off, he carried her to bed. He laid down and pulled her on top of him just needing the reassurance that she was really there.

Lauren snuggled into him completely exhausted from the long day and drive. She’d never been more thankful than in that moment that she’d learned to trust her instincts and she hadn’t boarded that plane. She softly kissed his neck.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered.

“Me too. I couldn’t…. I couldn’t go three more weeks without you… I just couldn’t,” she whispered back.

“It’s ok baby. I’d been thinking about coming to visit because I’ve missed you so much.” He felt her smile against his neck as he rubbed her back. Within just a few minutes she was sound asleep. He laid there holding her and watching her sleep in his arms.

He couldn’t imagine his life without her. She was his everything, had been for five years now, and he couldn’t live without her. He watched her for the longest before he too fell asleep.

 

The next day was Halloween, and Jay was content just laying in bed holding her. They spent all day just curled up in each other just needing to be close after yesterday. They watched a little TV and Kelly stopped by for a visit. He tried to get them to come to the Halloween party at Molly’s, but neither wanted to and he understood.

Since Lauren couldn’t drink, Jay wasn’t going to either. Lauren thought it was the sweetest thing ever. They spent the rest of the afternoon watching Halloween movies. They had a few trick-or-treaters stop by, but mainly it was just a night relaxing into each other.

That night, they made slow sweet love and Jay showed her just how much he loved and needed her in his life. They fell asleep snuggled into each other again.

Sunday dawned bright and clear. Jay wasn’t ready to let her go just yet, but he knew she had to. They stayed in bed snuggled up all morning.

“I wish you could stay. I don’t want you to go,” he whispered as his eyes misted over. Lauren’s heart broke a little hearing that because she really didn’t want to go either.

“I know babe… I know,” she whispered as her own tears fell. Jay reached up and wiped them. “Three weeks,” she whispered as she leaned into his hand cradling her cheek.

“I love you so much Lauren Kathleen, and I need you more than I’ve ever need anyone in my life. You’re my everything,” he whispered as two tears slid down his cheeks.

Lauren carefully wiped them as her own tears fell. She knew it killed him just as much every time they had to part and she hated it. She just wanted to stay with him forever. Seeing his tears made hers fall harder. She knew this weekend had made them stronger and closer and she just wanted to stay with him.

“I love you too Jay Matthew. You’re the only one I love and need so much.” She leaned down and kissed him hugging him tight.

After lunch she climbed in the car as more tears fell. This was always the hardest part and she knew he was going to worry after this weekend. She wished she could reassure him and just stay, but she had to finish school.

She’d been gone about two hours when he phone rang making her smile. They ended up talking the rest of the way home and into the night until she fell asleep.

“Three weeks,” he repeated to himself after she was asleep. Three weeks and she would back where she belonged, in his arms with him. With those thoughts he too fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did! Their love is simply amazing! Please let me know what you thought about this chapter and hopefully another one coming soon although it might be next week before I get around to updating because I will be busy all weekend..


	24. Birthday Week part 1

The next three weeks flew by. Lauren finished up her solo teaching and only had a few days left before she was done with student teaching all together. They’d talked and skyped every night during that three weeks. Jay worked on her birthday surprise too. He wanted to make it extra special for her since her birthday fell on Thanksgiving this year.

The week of her birthday arrived and Lauren was so excited to be heading back to Chicago. She hadn’t talked to her mother much, and the few times they had talked, neither mentioned her marriage or Chicago. It was like if they avoided it than they were ok. Lauren knew her mom wasn’t happy that she wasn’t going to be here for Thanksgiving or her birthday, but Lauren promised that on Sunday and Monday before she left they could do stuff.

She had a birthday party with her whole family on Sunday, and everything went fine. On Monday night, she went to visit her mom even though she wasn’t sure it was a good idea. When she got there, her mom was the only one home and Lauren was thankful for that. They had a short easy visit. As Lauren got ready to leave, her mom started with the whole Chicago deal.

“Mom, I told you. This is my life and my decisions. He makes me happy… I love him so much and he is so good to me. This is my life now and you’re just going to have to accept it. I’m married now and after graduation, I’m moving to Chicago, and it’s up to you whether you stay a part of my life and your grandchildren’s lives or not.”

“Grandchildren?!”

Lauren didn’t say anything for a minute; “Yea grandchildren. I will be having kids and it’s up to you.” With that, Lauren turned and walked out the door.

On Tuesday, they weren’t doing anything at school since it was the last day before break. Lauren decided to just take the day and head on to Chicago giving herself an extra day with Jay. This time she told him she was coming; she’d thought about flying, but she was still too nervous to. So Tuesday morning she loaded up and headed for Chicago.

Jay was so glad that she was coming home. He’d missed her something terrible during these three weeks, but he had her birthday all planned out. Her first surprise was waiting on her when she’d get there. He knew it was a long drive, but like her, he still wasn’t comfortable with the whole flying thing so he was glad she was driving.

He got off work and had right at twenty minutes before she would be there. He headed home to wait on her. When Lauren got there, she was so excited but also tired. She grabbed her bags and headed up to their apartment.

When she opened the door, rose petals were scattered from the door as far as she could see. Lauren couldn’t help but smile and felt a few tears gather in her eyes. There was a note where she would hang her keys. “Follow the rose petals for your first birthday surprise -J.”

Lauren dropped her bag and turned to follow the rose petals. “Oh, Jay,” she whispered. She followed the rose petals through the living room and into their bedroom. There were dozens of roses in vases all around their room. Some were red, some were pink, some were white, and even some he’d turned blue. Lauren took it all in amazed. The petals continued on into the bathroom.

When she pushed the door open she felt the few tears fall. There he stood, surrounded in rose petals and candle light with a bubble bath waiting. “Jay?” she whispered. He smiled big as he walked over to her wrapping her in his arms.

“Well… it was a really long drive and I know how tiring it can be, so a nice relaxing bubble bath sounded like something you would like.”

Lauren leaned up and kissed him hard, winding her arms around his neck. “Jay Matthew Halstead you are truly amazing,” she whispered.

“I love you baby,” he whispered softly kissing her as he started helping her undress. She was fourteen weeks pregnant and he could see the slightest hint of a bump. He ran his hands over her belly; he seriously couldn’t wait to see her growing as their baby grew. Lauren smiled as she watched him. He was going to be an amazing daddy.

She laid her hands over his and watched him. “Join me?” she whispered nodding towards the tub. Jay smiled and nodded. He quickly undressed and stepped over into the tub helping her over. He settled her with her back to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her settling his hands on her belly.

“Jay… this is so amazing. You are amazing,” she whispered.

He softly kissed her neck. “I just want your birthday to be perfect baby.”

Lauren turned and looked at him. “Just being here with you would’ve made it perfect babe.”

Jay smiled and leaned down to softly kiss her. “There’s so many roses and petals… you probably spent a fortune… and…”

Jay cut her off with another kiss. “Don’t you worry about a thing. Just enjoy baby. This week is all for you,”

Lauren smiled against his lips. “Ok…. Ok I will,”

They relaxed in the tub as Jay ran his hands softly back and forth across the tiny bump. Lauren smiled watching his hands. “You know, we can find out soon if you wanted to know what we’re having.”

Jay chuckled; “What do you want to do?” he asked her.

“I kinda want to know so we can start buying stuff, but I also like the idea of waiting. But I also always wanted to do one of those gender reveal parties…. But then I like the idea of surprising everyone too.”

Jay laughed listening to her ramble; “Why don’t we do a party. We can let Kelly and Shay go with us, and they can put it all together so it’s a surprise for us too.”

“Yea…. Yea that sounds like a good idea. We can talk to Nat and see when we can find out and then figure out when to have the party.”

“Sounds like a plan. We’ll be seeing them Thursday so we’ll ask then.”

Lauren nodded. The water had started to cool off so Jay got them out. He wrapped them in towels and carried her out to their room. She still couldn’t believe all the roses that were around. She kept taking it all in. Jay slipped his t-shirt over her head and pulled her against him.

Lauren turned and softly kissed him crawling on top of him. “Do you know how much I’ve missed you?” she whispered running her fingers through his hair.

Jay smiled as he wrapped his arms around her back. “Yea I do because I missed you so much. Some days it hurt because I missed you so much.”

Lauren kissed him as she ran her fingers back and forth in his hair. “I know… it was the same for me. Especially at night when I wanted nothing more than to just be in your arms.”

“I know… I wanted that too. But you know what?”

“What?” she smiled.

“You get to be in my arms every night until Sunday morning and then just three nights apart and you’ll be back here for good.”

Lauren smiled big and then kissed him passionately. Jay carefully flipped them as she wrapped her legs around his waist as they kissed. Lauren moaned into his kisses racking her nails up and down his back. She just needed him; he was hers and she just needed him after three weeks apart.

“Jay…. Please…. I need you,” she whispered as his kisses got more intense. She locked her ankles on his back and arched into him.

“Patience, love… patience,” he whispered.

Lauren moaned as she tried to flip them but Jay resisted. He slowly pulled her shirt up, kissing on her belly. He placed soft gentle kisses all over her tiny bump. It just turned her on more and she could just imagine him with their baby.

“Jay… please….. God please… please… please,” she begged making him chuckle a little.

“Please what mi amor?”

Lauren moaned. “Need… you… Jay,” she panted.

“I need you too beautiful,” he whispered.

Lauren moaned as he kissed higher. She’d always had full size breasts, but he could already tell they were starting to change like the rest of her body and he loved it. Her legs were still tightly wrapped around him and he softly cupped both her breasts.

“Beautiful…. So beautiful,” he whispered letting his thumbs caress them. Lauren moaned and arched into him again making him smile.

“Jay….. I…. god baby please,” she begged. He knew she knew he’d take care of her, but he loved slowly building her up, teasing her, and letting her explode.

He blew warm air across her nipples. He could feel how wet she was already from where she was wrapped around him. She moaned and tossed her head side to side. He knew she was feeling pure ecstasy. She was panting and arching into him. He let his thumbs softly keep rubbing as he watched her nipples harden and her moans become louder.

Jay grinned and then slowly lowered his head taking one of her nipples between his lips. Lauren almost came right then. She moaned his name as he softly sucked. “Jay…. Jay… oh god… I…. please, please, please,” she panted.

Jay sucked a little harder as her hips moved against him. She was about to explode. He lightly bit her nipple and softly pinched the other. Lauren screamed his name as her orgasm ripped through her. Jay watched her as he slowly brought her down. It was one of the most beautiful sights ever.

She was panting as she tangled her fingers in his hair barely opening her eyes to look at him as he softly kissed the tops of each breasts and her chest. “Jay…. Jay… god baby…” she panted. He kissed up and softly kissed her lips.

“So beautiful…. It is one of the most beautiful things ever watching you come for me, only me,” he whispered.

Lauren held him tight. “Only you…. Only love you,” she panted still catching her breath. Jay softly kissed her over and over letting her recover. Lauren never let him go. She kissed him hard and tried to flip them again. She broke the kiss and kissed around to his ear. She lightly nipped at it and repeated the words she’d told him at the cabin five weeks ago when she’d been recovering; “Quiero montar le duro y rápido.”

Jay moaned and let her flip them. “You have no idea how sexy you are,” he whispered as she sank down on him. He held still and let her have control so she could ride him hard and fast like she wanted. This is what she wanted and needed so he was going to let her have it.

Lauren sat still letting her body adjust to him. Jay held her hips steady as he gazed up at her. She felt amazing and it was taking everything in him to hold still for her.

Lauren was watching him; she knew not moving would be torture for him, and he’d tortured her so it was only fair to return the favor. She smiled at him letting her fingers trail up and down his chest and abs. His body was flawless and she had no idea how she got so lucky enough to have such an amazing man with an amazing body.

She squeezed her internal muscles around him and his eyes closed on a moan. She did it again, and then one more time. She loved watching what she did to him. “Lauren….. God baby…. Thought…. Thought… you wanted to go hard and fast?” he panted unable to get it out in Spanish.

Lauren smiled. “I do… and I will. But a slow burn first makes it better right?” she asked leaning down to kiss him. It pushed him a little deeper and he moaned into her kiss. She squeezed her muscles around him again; he gripped the sheets tight trying to hold still. She had him so close, and she hadn’t even moved yet.

“Lauren…. Baby… fuck please Lauren, please,” he panted.

“Please what?” she whispered nipping at his ear.

“MÓNTEME duro y rápido.”

Lauren moaned as she kissed him hard. She pushed up leaving her hands on his chest for leverage as she started moving hard and fast. Jay watched her biting his lip hard. She laced their hands together and guided them to her hips. She let him use their hands as she rode him.

It wasn’t long and she could feel he was close. She knew she’d had him since she’d started squeezing around him. She let his hands go and trailed them up and down his chest again. “Lauren…. I… god so close,” he panted.

She smiled at him. “I… know…. Fuck Jay,” she too panted. He could see she was fighting it, trying to let it all be for him. But he wouldn’t come without her. He flipped them and pinned her hands above her head in one of his. She moaned and arched into him… “Jay….”

“No,” he whispered nipping at her. “I come with you,” he whispered. Lauren moaned and tossed her head side to side.

He kissed and sucked on her neck as he thrust hard and fast. He was just barely hanging on to his control waiting on her. “Jay… I…. god,” she panted.

He knew she was getting closer and wouldn’t be able to fight it much longer. He found the sweet spot on her neck and sucked hard as he thrust up against her gspot. He let his fingers rub against her clit. He took her breath away, always knowing just what would get to her. He rubbed in time with his thrust.

He felt her squeezing him tight. “llegado para mí ahora, Lauren,” he growled into her ear telling her to come now.

Lauren exploded around him screaming his name as wave after wave hit her. She felt him come hard and fast inside her. She stayed locked around him tight as she panted. Jay laid his head on her shoulder trying to catch his own breath. “Jay…. Jay…. Jay,” she panted.

He softly kissed her shoulder and neck. “I’m here baby… I’m here.” He rolled and pulled her on top of him letting her snuggle close.

“You…. Are… the best,” she whispered making him chuckle.

“Just love you, Lauren.”

“I love you too,” she whispered. “This is already the best birthday ever.”

Jay laughed. “It’s only beginning baby. We have a whole week of things to do.” He felt her smile against his neck.

“I can't wait.” Jay rubbed her back up and down as he softly kissed her head.

“Sweet dreams my love,” he whispered as she drifted off to sleep on top of him. He laid there holding her, watching her sleep. This girl was his everything and he was looking forward to the rest of their lives together. He knew she was going to love everything for her birthday and he honestly couldn’t wait to give it all to her.

He softly kissed her cheek and fell asleep too. They slept like that all night long, snuggled into each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a little goodness to kick off her birthday weekend. As with all my other chapters, I planned on her birthday week only being one chapter but as we can see, it has a mind of its own and it will be more than one chapter. I hope yall enjoyed and will let me know what you thought.


	25. Birthday Week part 2

The next morning, Jay woke up before her. He smiled seeing her still asleep on top of him. He gently rolled her to the bed and tucked her in. He softly kissed her cheek; he got up to go make her breakfast. He knew they’d have to clean up the apartment sometime today, but for now he left the rose petals for her.

Lauren rolled over and felt an empty bed. She wrapped in the sheet and went to find him. She saw him in the kitchen and smiled. “Hey handsome,” she said when he turned around.

“Well hey baby. How long have you been up?”

“Long enough to walk in here and see you making breakfast. Is that… is that chocolate chocolate chip pancakes I smell?”

Jay laughed. She’d been having chocolate cravings lately so he was going to indulge her. “Yes it is.”

Lauren smiled and wrapped her arms around him. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“More like what did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I guess we’re just really lucky,” she smiled. Jay nodded and set her at the bar to eat.

After breakfast they showered together and Jay cleaned up all the rose petals, putting them in a box for her to keep. She couldn’t quit smiling at him, so glad to be home.

“So what are we doing today?” she asked him once he was done.

Jay wrapped his arm around her waist and walked her over to the balcony doors. “What do you see?” he whispered watching her face light up.

“It’s snowing!” she squealed. Jay laughed. He knew where she lived in Tennessee rarely saw snow; they were lucky to get one a year. He knew she loved it, for now, until all she saw was snow for months during the winter.

“How about we go out for a bit and let you play? Maybe go ice skating?”

Lauren nodded as she took off for the bedroom to get dressed. Jay couldn’t help but laugh a little at her excitement. Once he had them good and bundled up, they headed out. They had a mini snowball fight and Lauren made a snow angel.

He took them to the ice rink, and they skated for a bit. He made sure to keep her close and not let her fall while they skated. Lauren had a blast. They went back to the apartment and curled up on the couch drinking hot chocolate. Lauren turned on a Hallmark movie and curled up with him. It wasn’t long and she’d fallen asleep.

Jay got up a little while later and started making her supper. Will and Natalie were coming over to eat with them and celebrate her birthday. They were going to celebrate with Kelly and Shay on Friday after Thanksgiving. Jay fixed homemade teriyaki chicken fried rice, knowing she would love it.

He heard her start stirring just as he got it done. He walked into the living room and pulled her into his arms. “Hey beautiful? Have a good nap?”

Lauren rubbed her eyes and laid her head on his chest. “Yea I did. I didn’t mean to fall asleep though… sorry.”

“It’s fine sweetheart. We had an eventful morning.”

Lauren smiled and softly kissed his cheek. “Yea but it was perfect.”

“Good. I made supper and Will and his girlfriend are coming over to celebrate with us.”

Lauren looked confused. “Will actually has a steady girlfriend?”

Jay laughed. “Yea he does.”

“Do I know her?”

Jay nodded still grinning.

“Well who is it?”

“Natalie.”

Lauren laughed. “Ah. Of course it is.”

“Yep. But they seem to really work well. Will is growing up. He’s different and I think he really likes her.”

Lauren smiled. She knew Jay just really wanted Will to grow up, settle down, and be the big brother he’s always needed. “Well good. I guess I better go get ready. Something smells really good.”

Jay smiled as he went to the bedroom with her. “I made homemade teriyaki chicken fried rice.”

“Jay! You’re my hero!” She smiled making him laugh as she hugged him.

She was in the middle of doing her hair when Will knocked. Jay went to let them in and Lauren finished up. She was happy to see them and thanked them for celebrating with them. They enjoyed dinner, sharing easy conversation about everything. They had a little cake and ice cream for her too.

After they left, Lauren and Jay curled up in bed. Tomorrow was her birthday and Thanksgiving and she was extremely excited. She finally fell asleep. The next morning she was awake first. She was practically bouncing on the bed she was so excited.

“Jay?.. Jay? Jay? Wake up! Wake up!” She said excitedly lightly shaking him. Jay moaned and rolled over away from her. He was so awake, but he was going to pretend for a minute. He heard her huff as she tried again to wake him. She rolled him back to face her. “Jay…. come on wake up.”

Jay couldn’t help but chuckle as he pulled her down on top of him. “Why are you up so early?” he mumbled.

Lauren laughed. “Coming from the guy who is always up early regardless of the day. But you know why.”

“Because it’s Thanksgiving?” he asked acting confused.

“No. It’s my birthday!” Jay laughed as he rolled her under him.

“Oh…. I guess I forgot,” he smiled softly kissing her making her giggle. She knew he was just teasing her. “So what are we doing today?” she asked.

“Lunch at the fire hall. Everyone will be there.”

Lauren nodded. She was a little excited to see her brother, Shay and all their friends. She was a little nervous how everyone would react since they were married now, but she wasn’t too worried since Jay would be there with her.

They had breakfast and worked on a casserole together to take with them to lunch. They had the parade on in the background, and Jay just loved watching her so happy. Once they had everything ready they headed out.

They got to the fire hall and Kelly wrapped her in a hug. “Hello birthday girl! It’s so good to see you since you’ve been in the city for two days,” he laughed.

Lauren laughed with him. “Sorry Kel. We’ve been busy.”

“I don’t wanna know,” he laughed assuming she meant with sex.

“Not just like that,” she laughed smacking him lightly.

Kelly laughed. “Well it’s still good to see you Sis.”

“Yea it’s good to be home.”

Kelly smiled as Shay walked up. The girls hugged and Shay wished her happy birthday too. They were saving their presents for tomorrow when they celebrated just them. There was tons of food and people milling around enjoying the day; a day to give thanks for all they are blessed with.

Lauren shared easy conversation with everyone from the fire hall and Mouse. Jay’s team had all spoken and wished her happy birthday except Erin, but Lauren expected that. She let it just roll off her back, too happy to let it bother her today.

Before they sat down to eat, Lauren snuck off to the bathroom; she didn’t see Erin following her. When she came out, Erin was leaning on the sink. Lauren smiled and washed her hands. She would be polite for Jay since it was his partner, but she wasn’t going to be overly friendly.

“You don’t get it do you?” Erin asked.

“Get what?” Lauren asked confused.

“That Jay doesn’t love you.”

Lauren shook her head. “Erin, look, I know you like him and whatever. But we’re married now so you need to let it go. It’s Thanksgiving so let’s just have a pleasant day.” Lauren went to walk around her, but Erin blocked her path. Lauren sighed and backed up.

“You’re only married because he felt pressured by you. You got knocked up and he felt he didn’t have a choice. He doesn’t want to be a father. He’s told me that repeatedly. You trapped him, and now he feels stuck with you.”

Lauren tried to walk around her again. “You’re wrong Erin.”

“Am I? How do you know? I spend day in and day out with him at work. Don’t you think we talk, that he tells me things he’s not going to tell you? Because he does, and he doesn’t want this with you. Everyone agrees too. The team, his friends and family, are really concerned that he just up and married you out of the blue. They all think you’re a flight risk and will just break his heart. You’re never going to be good enough to fit in here, so why don’t you just go back and spare him?”

Lauren’s hormones had her all emotional as it was. Was it true everything Erin was saying? Did Jay really feel this way and not tell her? Did his team, his best friends and family, really feel like she wasn’t good enough for him?

“Thank you for telling me, but really, let me go!” she said as she pushed around her.

When she got back out to the floor, she saw Jay laughing and carrying on with Mouse and Antonio. He probably hadn’t even noticed she was missing. She realized that maybe Erin was right; she really didn’t fit in here. No one had noticed how long she’d been in the bathroom so no one would notice if she left.

She grabbed her coat and walked outside. She glanced back and still no one noticed that the door had closed and someone walked out. She felt her heart shattering as her tears fell. She’d thought this was her home; she thought he really loved her and wanted all this with her. They’d talked about it five years ago, and they’d talked about it recently too, but maybe she was wrong about all of this.

Now she had no one. She’d lost the relationship with her mother over this, and if everything Erin said was true, then she had no home and no family because she wouldn’t stay with him. All these thoughts were swirling in her mind as she walked trying to clear her head. She couldn’t believe he’d actually do this to her. She’d thought he’d always be honest with her, but she guessed not. She wasn’t really paying attention as she walked. She was just walking to clear her head and let the tears fall because she was too upset.

 

Back at the house, Jay started looking for her. There was no way a woman could pee for this long. He’d seen her go to the bathroom and now that she wasn’t back he was worried. He went and called for her, but she didn’t answer. On his way back to the floor, he passed Erin. “Hey, have you seen Lauren?”

Erin shook her head. “Nope. I’m not your wife’s keeper,” she said rolling her eyes. Jay knew she was jealous as hell, but he figured she’d eventually get over it.

“Yea… whatever thanks,” he said walking off. Erin smiled; if only he knew. He’d be thanking her later when he realized that she saved him from that crazy girl. Erin went on to help finish setting up for them to eat.

Jay went all the way around the house looking for her. No one had seen her and he was starting to panic. He ran up to Kelly; “Hey, have you seen Lauren? Do you know where she is?”

Kelly shook his head no. “She was with you last I saw. Why? What’s going on?”

“I can't find her. She went to the bathroom and hasn’t come back. No one has seen her.”

“Ok, take a deep breath Jay. I’m sure it’s nothing. She’s around here somewhere.”

Jay nodded as he took a deep breath. “Her purse and phone are here so there’s no way Mouse can track her.”

“We’ll find her. Don’t worry I’m sure it’s nothing.”

Jay nodded as they spread out to look for her. No one had seen her and both of them were starting to worry now. Shay had started looking too. The bathroom was empty so she’d definitely gone somewhere when she left the bathroom.

As Shay was coming out of the bathroom, April stopped her. “Shay… I think I know what happened.”

“To Lauren?”

April nodded. She’d been in the bathroom at the same time and had heard everything. “Erin cornered her in here. I was using the bathroom and by the time I came out Lauren was gone. Erin told all about how Jay didn’t really love her and didn’t want this with her. That she trapped him and she really needed to just leave.”

“Are you kidding me?!” Shay said feeling her blood boiling.

“I don’t know what happened, but Lauren just said thanks for telling me and walked off.”

“That stupid bitch,” Shay said storming off. She made a beeline for Erin. “How dare you, you bitch?!” she screamed slapping her across the face.

Erin was so caught off guard she didn’t have a chance to react before Shay slapped her again. The whole house had gotten quiet hearing Shay. Kelly came running over and grabbed Shay.

“What is going on? What are you doing?” he asked wrapping his arms around her and holding her as she tried to fight him off.

“Let me go Kel! Let me go! She deserves it!” Shay screamed as Jay came running over too.

Jay stood in front of her ignoring Erin for the moment. “Shay… what is going on?”

“It’s all her fault! She told Lauren a whole bunch of bull shit! She’s just jealous and a bitch!” She was still trying to get away from Kelly but he just held her tighter. He finally carried her off to his office to chill out.

Jay turned on Erin. “That true? Did you say something to her?” He could feel his anger boiling. He knew Erin hadn’t gotten over the fact he’d gotten married and was starting a family, but he didn’t think she’d actually do anything about it.

Erin shrugged still holding her cheek where Shay had slapped her. “Erin?! What did you do?” He asked and she could see the anger coming through his eyes.

“I told her the truth!” she said finding her strength to fight him back.

“And what truth was that?!” he asked anger dripping from his voice.

“That you didn’t really want her or the baby. That she wasn’t good enough for you and that everyone thought so.” The house was deadly quiet hearing this. Intelligence couldn’t believe what they were seeing. They all knew Erin had a thing for Jay, but they thought that had all changed now that he’d gotten married.

“You said what?!” Jay said barely restraining himself from slapping her too.

“It’s nothing but the truth Jay. She’s not good enough for you and everyone thinks so. Someone needed to tell her how you and everyone else felt. Who better than your partner. That’s why you have backup right?” she asked with a small smile.

“Fuck you Erin!” he said and stormed off. He had to find her. She was probably wandering around the city lost and upset. That wasn’t good for her or the baby, especially since her purse and all her stuff was here. She had no phone, no protection, and Jay was going into full on panic mode.

He ran to Kelly’s office. “I need you to go home, see if she went there since she still has a key. I’m going to run by the apartment and see if she’s there. I don’t… god I don’t what to do,” he said. Kelly and Shay gave him a hug.

“We will find her Jay. We will.” He barely nodded. When he turned around his team, minus Erin, was standing there. “We’re going to help you find her,” Antonio said.

“Thank you,” Jay said quietly as they all nodded. He didn’t figure what Erin said about the team was true, but he was a little worried. Them being there just then proved to him that she was wrong.

Antonio turned around to the members of intelligence; “Get your radios and spread out over the city. Talk to CIs, I don’t care what you have to do. We will find her.” The team nodded as they headed out.

Kelly and Shay went to their apartment, while Mouse went with Jay. They didn’t want him alone as they looked for her.

 

Lauren had no idea how long she’d been walking, but she thought she might need to head to Kelly’s apartment. She hadn’t been paying attention to where she was walking. It was cold and a few snowflakes were falling. When she looked around, she noticed she wasn’t in the best part of town. She tried not to let herself get worked up any more than she already was because she knew it wasn’t good for the baby.

She turned to head back, and there were four gang members in front of her. She instinctually put her hands over her belly. She tried to stay calm and remember everything Jay and Kelly had ever taught her. She wished in that moment that she hadn’t run off and left her purse and phone.

As they walked closer, she kept backing up. She wasn’t going to let her fear show, but the more they walked the more scared she got. She couldn’t stand it any longer and she started screaming. She didn’t think it would do her again as she looked around, but she just prayed someone would help her and her baby.

A barber a couple of buildings down heard her screams. He came out with his bat and started yelling at the men. Lauren was really surprised when they actually listened to him and ran off. Lauren slowly caught her breath as he turned to her.

“What’s your name sweetheart?” he asked with a heavy accent.

“L… L... Lauren. Yours?”

“Everyone calls me Uncle Papo. I’m a barber and I’m not going to hurt you. Why don’t you come back to the shop with me? You look lost.”

Lauren nodded as he led her back to his barber shop. It was warm and semi-cozy and she was thankful. He sat her down and noticed how she kept protectively holding her belly. “How far along are you?”

“Fourteen weeks,” she said quietly.

“Do you want to tell me how you ended up in this part of town?”

“I…. I… was out for a walk and wasn’t paying attention.”

“Do you want me to call anyone?”

Lauren shook her head no as a few more tears slipped down her cheeks. She knew they probably weren’t looking for her, probably hadn’t even noticed she was missing. “Why don’t you stay and have a Cuban Thanksgiving meal with my family. We’re good people, I know several people that would say that. We’re going to have it here, downstairs.”

“I couldn’t impose sir. I’ll just walk back in a minute.”

“You’re not from here are you?”

Lauren shook her head no.

“This isn’t really a part of town to be walking around in. At least let me drive you somewhere if you won't stay and eat.”

Lauren thought about it for a minute. She was hungry since she’d missed lunch, and she knew she needed to eat for the baby. “Ok I’ll stay,” she said quietly.

Uncle Papo nodded. He led her downstairs where his wife had set up dinner. After that run in with Intelligence a few years back, he’d gotten away from his nephew and their gang and really turned things around. They’d made a little dining area downstairs that would hold their family gatherings.

 

Across town, Jay was slowly losing it. He could honestly kill Erin for saying all that shit to her and sending Lauren off somewhere. They’d followed her tracks for a bit in the snow from the fire house, but then they’d lost them as they mixed with others. The team had spread out all over the city showing her picture and looking for her.

Jay was fixing to head into a rough part of town when a call came over their scanner. Voight had called in half of PD to help with the search for her. A patrol unit had stumbled upon a body matching her description. Jay felt like he was slowly dying.

He’d already almost lost her in the plane. This couldn’t be her; if it was, he would never forgive Erin… never. Mouse pulled up to the scene and Jay was out of the car before it ever fully stopped. He threw it in park and took off after his best friend.

Mouse was so afraid it would be her. Jay ran towards the body, pushing cops out of his way. He was bracing himself for seeing her lifeless body, but when he reached it, it wasn’t her. Yea, she had dark hair and green eyes, but it wasn’t her.

He felt a small amount of relief. He still hadn’t found her, but at least this body wasn’t hers. He sank down in the snow, laying his head on his knees as some tears of relief fell. He rocked just a little praying she and the baby were ok. Mouse laid his hand on Jay’s shoulder. “We’re gonna find her, I promise.”

Jay looked at him with tear filled eyes. “She believes Erin. She believes I don’t want her because of what Erin said. What am I gonna do?? I can't lose her Mouse, I can't,” he said as his tears broke and slid down his cheeks.

It was her birthday, it was Thanksgiving and she was out there somewhere thinking he didn’t love her or want her all because Erin was jealous. It was breaking him, and if he didn’t find her soon he didn’t know what he would do. Mouse gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze, “Come on buddy. We’re going to find her,” he said pulling Jay up.

They got back in the car and continued their search, Jay feeling hopeless.

 

Lauren enjoyed the dinner with the barber and his wife. It was a relaxing meal, where they shared stories about their early days. They shared about their family and life, what it means to survive, and it was slowly making her feel better. All the different stories showed her and reinforced her beliefs of what a real family is, la familia as they called it.

After they had eaten, and watched their guest relax in their presence he asked again if he could call anyone for her. Lauren was quiet for a minute. “Yea… I need to call my brother,” she said looking around for a phone.

He took her upstairs to the phone; Lauren dialed Kelly’s number. “Hello?” he asked not recognizing the number.

“Kel? It’s me. I’m ok… I promise. I know I shouldn’t have just left, but I just had to get out. Can you come get me?”

Kelly let out a huge sigh of relief. “God you had us so worried! Where are you and I’ll be there.”

She rattled off the address to the barber shop and heard Kelly’s sharp intake of breath when he realized what part of town she was in, but he didn’t say anything. “Don’t tell Jay, please.”

“What?”

“Kel…. Please.”

“Fine, but I’m telling him I have you. He’s running around town worried sick about you.”

“Just come get me,” she said quietly.

It wasn’t fifteen minutes and she saw Kelly and Shay pull up with about three cop cars. It wasn’t two seconds and Jay came flying in behind them. Lauren gave Kelly a look once he released his death grip hug. “He’s your husband and the father of your baby, and you are going to talk to him,” Kelly said firmly.

Lauren sighed and before she could reply Jay was wrapping her in a tight hug rubbing her back. He pulled back just a little as tears were falling down his cheeks as he looked her over. “I’m fine,” she said quietly, her heartbreaking even more seeing his tears.

The rest of Intelligence wasn’t far behind him and Lauren sighed. “Look, just let me go home with Kelly and I’ll be out of your hair tomorrow,” she whispered looking at the ground.

Antonio greeted Uncle Papo and carried on a conversation with him as Jay watched Lauren.

“Just come home, please, and we’ll talk about this.”

“Why? So you can lie to me more? No. I want to go to Kelly’s.”

“You’re not coming with me,” Kelly said. “Go home.”

Lauren looked at him with pleading eyes and he shook his head. “You need to talk to your husband and that is final.”

Lauren sighed. “Fine,” she whispered as Jay led her back to his car. She was quiet the whole way, and before they were back, she was asleep. Jay sighed. He got her out and carried her upstairs. So much for making her birthday perfect, he sighed as he laid her down.

Tomorrow… tomorrow they would talk and he would straighten this out. Then he would give her the rest of her birthday surprises. He was so glad to have found her; he’d been so afraid he wasn’t going to or that he would and it would be too late. He let out a sigh of relief. He laid there in bed watching her sleep. He was still too wired to sleep so he just laid there and watched her.

He knew he had to deal with Erin too, but that was the last thoughts on his mind. Making sure Lauren knew how much he did love her and want this was all that was important because he couldn’t live without her. After several hours of just laying there watching her, he eventually drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thank Firstamamawifeafriend for another update so soon! She’s so full of good ideas and I just can't help but run with them. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will let me know what you thought :)
> 
> Up Next: Jay and Lauren talk.


	26. Birthday Week part 3

Lauren woke up early. She was confused as to how she got in their bed, and then she remembers that he showed up and brought her home. She guessed she fell asleep in the car. She rolls and sees him laying beside her asleep. She sighs; she loves him with all she has, but she’s really confused. Does she believe everything he’s been telling her and showing her or does she believe what Erin said last night?

She really doesn’t know. She wants to believe him because she loves him, but at the same time she can almost believe that Erin was telling the truth and that he would tell his partner things he wouldn’t tell her.

Lauren rolls out of bed. She needs to get out of here and go to Kelly’s. She doesn’t want to tie him down if this isn’t what he wants, and she needs advice from her big brother. He’s never let her down and she knows this time wouldn’t be any different.

Jay feels her moving and wakes up. “Hey,” he says quietly.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you. Just go back to sleep.”

“No I’m fine. Where are you going?”

“Uh… to Kelly’s. You just sleep.”

“Why? Why are you going to Kelly’s? Why won't you talk to me?”

Lauren sighed as she felt tears well in her eyes again. All these crazy hormones were getting to her. “I don’t know… I don’t know Jay! I just need some time ok?”

“It’s not true Lauren! None of it is true! She said that shit because she’s jealous… she wishes she were you, but I don’t want her! I want you! I love you!”

Lauren felt the tears falling. He’d done nothing but show her how much he loved her, but a few well worded sentences from Erin and she was falling apart. She’d never had much self-confidence, and she always wondered what he saw in her. So Erin’s little speech was just enough to make her question everything.

“I love you too Jay; you know that. I just need some time.”

Jay sighed as he ran his hands through his hair. “Fine. Let’s go. I’ll take you over.”

Lauren let the tears fall harder as she grabbed her jacket and purse. Jay sent Kelly a text letting him know he was bringing Lauren over. When he got to Kelly’s apartment, he grabbed her hand and rubbed his finger over her rings. “I love you Lauren Kathleen no matter what. Everything she said was a lie, and when you’re ready to come back home, call me and I’ll come get you.”

Lauren nodded. “I love you too Jay. Never forget that,” she whispered as she pulled her hand back and got out. She headed up to Kelly’s apartment as he drove off.

Jay headed straight for the district. He knew Voight would probably be in today. When he got there he was right. He headed straight for his Sargent’s office.

“Jay? What can I do for you? I figured you’d be home with Lauren today since we’re off.”

“Yea well… I needed to talk to you for a minute.”

“Ok sure.”

“I need a new partner sir. What Erin did yesterday was unacceptable and I can't trust her right now.”

Hank was quiet listening. “Have you talked to her about it?”

Jay shook his head. “Not since yesterday and right now I don’t think it’d be a good idea.”

Hank nodded. “Lauren ask you to do this?”

“No sir. She doesn’t even know I’m here. She’s at Kelly’s. I came here on my own because what Erin did was unacceptable to me and I don’t want to be partnered with her for now. I can't trust her, if she doesn’t always have my back. I get she might not always agree with my decisions, but she should at least be courteous enough to come to me about that instead of going behind my back trying to ruin my relationship.”

“Understood kid. I agree. Erin should have taken it up with you. I’ll partner you with Antonio once we’re back from break.”

“Thank you sir.”

Hank nodded. “Lauren loves you Jay; we’ve all seen it and seen how much you love her too. This will work out.”

Jay nodded. “I sure hope so.”

“Anything else?”

“No sir. Thank you,” Jay said turning to go. He knew he probably should let Erin have a piece of his mind for this, but for now not talking to her was his choice. He had to focus on Lauren right now. She was his only priority, and he just hoped she’d come back home.

 

Kelly was happy and not happy at the same time to see her on the other side of his door with tears pouring down her cheeks. He pulled her into his arms. “Hey Sis,” he whispered pulling her into the apartment. He led her to the couch and she kept her head on his shoulder crying.

Shay joined them and her heart broke for the girl she’d come to view as a sister. “Wanna tell us why you’re here?” Kelly finally asked after she’d mostly calmed down.

“Because I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.

“Then tell us what happened yesterday and we’ll go from there.”

Lauren was quiet as Kelly rubbed her back. “I went to the bathroom before we ate. When I came out Erin was waiting… She said a whole bunch of things…. Like Jay tells her things he won't tell me because they’re partners, and that he doesn’t really want this, I just trapped him. He only married me because of the baby and I insisted. She also said I wasn’t good enough for him and everyone here thought that too.”

A few more silent tears were falling down her cheeks. Shay could feel her anger building and she had no idea how Kelly was being so calm. He sent Shay a look telling her to chill, so she took a deep breath and tried to relax.

“All these hormones and emotions have me crazy…. I believed her. When I walked back out, he was having a good time and I really believed he hadn’t even noticed I was gone so I left. She was right, I didn’t belong. I just started walking to clear my head. I guess I wasn’t paying attention and when I finally did look around, I knew I’d screwed up. The barber heard me, and he brought me back to his shop and I had dinner with him and his wife.”

Kelly quietly rubbed her back. “Did you talk to Jay any to see what he had to say?”

Lauren shook her head no. “He said it was all lies this morning, but I just told him I wanted to come over here.”

Kelly sighed. “You can't run Sis. You know this. Yall promised forever and ever, and you can't just run.”

“But if I…”

“No buts. You have to talk to him. Do you really think Erin would tell you the truth? I mean she has a thing for your husband.”

“Kelly’s right girl. Jay chose you. He married you. He planned on marrying you before the baby. It just happened at the same time. He loves you.”

Lauren nodded. “I know she probably made most of it up, but she is his partner. They were close before I ever came back into the picture. He would probably tell her stuff though.”

Kelly sighed. “I get it, I do. She said all the right things to get in your head and cast doubt. But this is Jay, Lauren. The guy you’ve been in love with for five years. You know him. Do you really think he would do something he didn’t want to? Do you really think he would turn to Erin instead of you? No. He wouldn’t. He loves you and he loves this baby. He’s done everything possible to make sure yall have a future together and he’s not going to jeopardize that by telling his partner anything he should be telling you.”

“I have to agree with Kelly on this one sweetheart. Jay loves you. You’re all he talks about. And as far as no one thinking you’re good enough, she’s the only one that thinks that. Everyone rallied together and looked for you last night. If they didn’t think you were good enough, they wouldn’t have helped him. They see how in love with you he is and how happy you make him. Erin is just a jealous bitch.”

Lauren sighed as Kelly wiped her eyes. She knew Kelly nor Shay would lie to her. They only had her best interest in mind.

“You need to go home now, and talk to him,” Kelly said. “You’re not running away from the best thing to ever happen to you. I’ve seen how happy and carefree you are with him, how in love with him you are, and you’re not throwing that away over someone who is jealous. So let’s go; I’m taking you home.”

Shay gave her a hug after Kelly pulled her up. She told her everything would be ok. Kelly wrapped his arm around her and led her down to his car. Deep down she knew Kelly was right and she had to talk to him. When they pulled up outside the apartment, Lauren took a deep breath.

“Thanks Kelly. I can always count on you.”

“Yes, you can. I’ll never lie to you or just tell you what you want to hear.”

Lauren nodded. “I know. Thanks Kel. I love you.”

“I love you too Sis. Now get up there and talk to him.”

Lauren got out and headed up to their apartment. She wasn’t really looking forward to the conversation, but she knew Kelly was right; she had to talk to him. She used her key and opened the door. The apartment was quiet and she didn’t think he was there.

She heard something fall and heard him cuss and she smiled a little. She followed the sounds to one of the spare rooms and found the door closed. She quietly pushed it open, wondering what he was up to since they rarely kept those doors closed.

When she opened the door, she couldn’t help but gasp. He’d been working on their baby’s room. Jay spun when he heard her gasp. “Hey. You’re… you’re here… I would’ve come and got you. Please tell me you didn’t walk again?”

Lauren shook her head. “Kelly brought me. I… what… what are you doing?” she asked looking around.

“Oh… I… this was going to be part of your birthday surprise. I was going to have it almost completely done, but as we can see it’s not. I ordered the furniture three weeks ago. I was going to have it all put together for when you got here this week.”

Lauren was shocked. He had the crib completely together and he was working on a changing table. There was a rocker sitting in the corner too. She felt tears gather. He’d done all this for her and their baby.

“If…. If… you don’t like it, we can send it back and get what you want. This…. It… it just looked like something you might want and like so I bought it, but if you don’t it’s fine… I… just...”

Lauren walked over and cut his rambles off with a soft kiss. “It’s fine Jay. It’s beautiful. I was just surprised.”

Jay rubbed her cheek, wiping her tears. “This can wait. Can we talk now?”

Lauren nodded. Jay grabbed her hand and they went back out to the living room. She settled on one end of the couch and he on the other facing each other.

“I’m sorry for leaving this morning. I just needed to get things straight in my head.”

Jay nodded; “I understand. I had some things to take care of too so it’s fine. I’m sorry your birthday ended up a disaster.”

“It wasn’t a total disaster. We had a good day before.”

“Yea, but still it was your birthday.”

“Jay it’s fine really. I coulda cared less about it being my birthday.”

Jay sighed a little. “You have to know everything she said was a lie, Lauren.”

“I do and I don’t Jay,” Lauren said quietly.

“Ok let’s talk about it then… I want to know exactly what she said to you first.”

Lauren nodded. She played with the hem of her shirt needing something to do with her hands. She wouldn’t look at him either. “She just said that you tell her things you won't tell me because she’s your partner. She said you didn’t want this that I trapped you and you never really wanted it. She also said I wasn’t good enough for you and everyone thought so.”

Jay was furious. Erin had said all the right things to cast doubt and mess with her head and she knew it. “Why didn’t you come tell me?”

Lauren was quiet for a minute. “When… when I came out, you looked like you were having a good time and I didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t figure anyone would notice since Erin said everyone didn’t like me… so I went for a walk to clear my head and when no one noticed me leaving, I believed her,” she said quietly.

Jay couldn’t stand the distance between them any longer. He reached over and tipped her chin up to look at him. “I did notice. I looked for you and couldn’t find you and I got worried. The whole unit and half of PD that Voight called in looked for you.”

Lauren’s eyes were full of unshed tears. “I want you. I love you. I’ve loved you since that first time. You’ve been the only one for me for the last five years, and I want you to be the only one for the next sixty, seventy, and eighty years. I love you Lauren Kathleen Halstead. I love this baby. This is the life I want… with you.”

Jay wiped her eyes. “Then why did she say all that? Why would she do this?” Lauren whispered.

“I don’t know. I haven’t talked to her and I don’t want too. All I know is that I want you, I love you.”

Lauren was quiet. “I want this too, Jay, I do. But I don’t want you feeling like I trapped you or forced you to get married. I didn’t mean to and if I did I’m sorry. I really am,” she cried.

He grabbed her face between his hands. “You’re not listening to me! I’m never going to lie to you or tell you what you want to hear. I’ll always tell you the truth and I’m telling you the truth now! You didn’t force me. I wanted this. I want you and I want this baby. Was it planned? No, but I don’t care. We always wanted kids and I want this baby with you. I want you!!!”

He grabbed her left hand and held it up. “See these??? I bought these for you, with only you in mind. I was going to marry you before we ever found out about the baby, our baby! You didn’t trap me, you didn’t force me; I chose this because I love you! I chose you, Lauren. Only you!”

Lauren slowly nodded and threw her arms around his neck and buried her face there as she cried. He held her to him and let her cry. He breathed a small sigh of relief that she was still here and he was almost positive he’d gotten through to her. He rubbed her back and whispered over and over that it was ok.

Lauren cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. He was all she wanted and needed. “I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry,” she whispered into his neck.

“You have nothing to be sorry for Lauren. I should’ve dealt with her back when we first got back together, but I thought she’d just get over it. Now I know better, but don’t you worry I will take care of this.”

Lauren pulled back to look at him. “Don’t ruin your friendship and partnership over me. It’s not worth it Jay.”

“Yea it is. You are worth it! You are worth everything to me. And she doesn’t get to do this to you, to us and get away with it. I know she’s not always going to agree with everything I do, but as a partner and a friend, she should take that up with me. What she did was wrong and I will be letting her know that.”

Lauren sighed and hung her head. He was ruining friendships because of her. “Jay…. seriously… I’m not worth losing your friends over. If they don’t like me or think I’m not good enough for you, then that’s fine I get it. I won't stay because I’m not worth that… and I would never keep you from the baby. I would stay in Chicago, but I just…. It’s… I’m not worth it.”

Jay groaned; she just wasn’t getting it. “You. Are. Worth. It!!!!!! You, Lauren Kathleen, are. My. Everything!!! I wouldn’t care if the whole unit disagreed with my decisions, they don’t by the way, but even if they did, I wouldn’t care. This is my life, and you are my life. You are all I want no matter what. You are worth everything to me!!! EVERYTHING!”

Lauren just gazed into his eyes and he rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “Lauren Kathleen Halsted, I promised forever to you, no matter what, and I meant it. I chose you. I want this with you, and only you.”

Lauren was quiet still just watching him. She saw the truth in his eyes, saw how much he loved her and wanted her. “I want this too. I’ve only ever wanted you. Five years ago when I saw you in Molly’s I knew you were it for me. I’ve never loved anyone but you Jay.”

Jay cradled her face and kissed her with all his love for her. Lauren ran her fingers through his hair. “I love you Lauren and no matter what anyone says, my love for you will never change.”

“I love you so much Jay,” she whispered.

Jay softly kissed her rubbing her back. Lauren laid her head on his shoulder just enjoying being in his arms. She kept repeating to herself that he wanted her, he chose her. It wasn’t long and he felt her drift off to sleep on him.

He smiled a little. He’d gotten through to her and she was still here. He had two nights left with her for three days and he was going to use those two nights to show her just how much he loved and only wanted her.

He sent Kelly a text thanking him for whatever he said to her and wanted to know if they could reschedule their dinner for lunch Saturday and Kelly agreed. Jay eventually got up and carried her to bed. When he tried to lay her down, she whimpered and held on to him tighter. It was all the confirmation he needed to know that she wasn’t going to run from him.

He laid down and kept her on top of him and watched her sleep. He’d finish the baby’s furniture later. Being there with her was all he needed and wanted to do because she was his girl, his whole world, and he’d do anything to make her happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they made up… and I hope you enjoyed :) Up Next: Jay shows Lauren just how much he loves and wants her ;)


	27. Birthday Week part 4

The next morning Jay woke first; Lauren was still sound asleep on top of him. He gently rolled her to the bed and tucked her in. She was out; she never even moved when he tucked her in. He softly brushed the curls from her face and kissed her cheek.

He decided to run get them bagels from her favorite bakery right down from the apartment. He left her a note in case she woke before he got back. While he was out he also got her a card for that night. When he got back she was still asleep.

He sat down and started writing in the card. Just as he was finishing, he heard her calling for him. He went in and sat down on the bed pulling her into his arms. “Hey baby, I’m here,” he whispered. She snuggled into his neck; “I don’t want to lose you, ever,” she whispered.

Jay rubbed her back; “You’re not going to baby, I promise.” She sniffed a little and held on to him tight.

“I got breakfast and Kelly and Shay are coming over for lunch for your birthday. I think he wanted to take you out.”

“Are you going too?”

“Yes, love, I am.”

Lauren nodded. He carried her to the kitchen knowing she needed to eat. He sat her down and got their bagels. She watched his every move. She knew she needed to get over this neediness and clinginess because she went back to Tennessee tomorrow, but she just felt like he was going to slip away and she wouldn’t be able to handle it. She knew she said yesterday she would leave if that’s what he wanted and needed, but in all honesty it would kill her to lose him.

While they ate, he noticed she was being super quiet. Once they were done, he pulled her into his lap. “Hey what’s wrong?” he asked quietly.

“Nothing. I’m fine,” she said with a half-smile.

Jay rubbed her back as she laid her head on his shoulder. “Lauren, I know better. Come on, what is it?”

Lauren sighed; “I just…. I dunno… I know I need to get over this and quit acting like this, and I’m just trying,” she whispered.

“Quit acting like what?” Jay asked confused.

“All needy and clingy,” she said quietly closing her eyes trying to move off him.

Jay held her tighter; “I don’t mind sweetheart. I know you need me because I need you just as much. I like that you need me and want me,” he smiled nudging her head up to look at him.

“I do need you,” she whispered snuggling back into him.

“You’ve got me baby, forever.” They sat like that for a bit and he felt her relaxing into him. “Come on beautiful; I want to show you the baby’s room like I had planned.”

He carried her to the room and sat her down in the rocker. “I only ordered the furniture. I figured I would wait until we knew to paint, and wait on you to decorate.”

Lauren smiled as she looked around taking it all in. She absolutely loved the crib and matching changing table. “Jay, this is all perfect. I love it.”

“I’m glad, but I promise you don’t have to like it just because I already bought it. I promise if you don’t, we’ll send it back and get whatever you want.”

“No babe. I really do love it; I promise.”

Jay softly kissed her; “What about the rocker?” he grinned.

“I love it! And it’s so comfy! It’ll be perfect to rock the baby to sleep or while I nurse. I love it, really.”

Jay smiled. He couldn’t wait to see her rocking their baby there. “I’m gonna finish the table if you’re good? I was going to have it done before you got here, but you can see that didn’t happen.”

Lauren smiled; “Yea babe. That’s fine.”

Jay got to work on finishing the changing table, and Lauren rocked in the rocker with her hands resting on her belly. She really wanted a boy that looked just like his daddy. He would have Jay’s eyes and freckles. Maybe her dark hair and a mixture of their curls. She smiled letting herself imagine sitting there rocking him.

Jay had just finished the table when there was a knock on the door. “I got it,” she smiled getting up to get it.

Kelly and Shay were waiting on the other side. “Hey birthday girl,” they said giving her a hug.

“Hey guys. Come here, you’ve got to see this,” she said pulling them to the baby’s room. Kelly left their presents in the living room and followed her. “Look,” she practically squealed. “He did it all including buying it! It’s so perfect.” She was smiling big and they both were glad to see it.

“So everything’s good?” Kelly asked her.

“Yea everything’s good. So what are we doing?”

“How does the new Mexican restaurant sound?”

“Delicious! The baby loves Mexican,” she laughed. Jay had just finished changing clothes and heard her laughing. He loved hearing her laugh; he loved everything about her.

“Hey guys,” he smiled.

“Ready? We’re going to the new Mexican place,” she smiled big wrapping her arm around his waist.

“Sounds good,” he smiled.

They had a great lunch and Lauren loved her gifts. Kelly got her a new necklace that said ‘#1 mom,’ and Shay got her a gift card to the maternity store at the mall and a few books she’d been wanting.

After lunch, Jay and Lauren went back to their apartment to relax. She fell asleep around two thirty which gave him a couple of hours to set up for their night. He went to the kitchen and started cooking.

While the chicken was cooking, he went out to the balcony and set up. It was kind of chilly, but it would be perfect. He set one of her sets of roses from the bedroom on the table and lit some candles. He’d strung some white lights around the balcony too.

He went back in and kept working on super. He heard her stirring around four thirty. “Jay?” She called quietly wrapping a blanket around her.

He went into the living room. “Hey, I’m here. I was just working on supper.”

“Oh,” she said with a shy smile.

He sat down and pulled her into his lap softly kissing her. “Why don’t you go take a nice relaxing shower or bath and then there will be something waiting on the bed for you,” he smiled.

Lauren nodded. “What are you up to?” she asked with a grin.

“Another surprise. I promise you’ll love it.”

“I love all your surprises.”

“I know,” he grinned; “Now go,” he smiled helping her up. Lauren went to take a shower so she could wash her hair.

While she was in the shower, Jay laid her out a long dress with a note saying to meet him on the balcony. He finished up supper, chicken parmesan, and carried it all out to the balcony to wait on her.

When Lauren got out of the shower, she saw the dress and note. ‘ _What is he up to now,’_ she thought with a smile as she got dressed. She had a surprise of her own for him too. Once she had her hair done, she just let it go curly, she walked out through the living room.

The sight before her almost took her breath. He was standing on the balcony looking out over the city as the sun was setting. The table was completely set with the candles and roses and he’d already turned the string lights on. Lauren felt tears gather; this man really did love her and want her. How could she have thought otherwise?

She glanced down at her rings and smiled. She had the most perfect man, her husband. She was still getting used to the fact that she was actually married, but she’d never been happier. She took a deep breath and smoothed her dress down her tiny bump. He’d picked a form fitting, long sleeved dress for her and you could just barely see her bump sticking out and she loved it.

She pushed the balcony doors open and he turned around with a smile. She absolutely took his breath away. The dress looked even better than he had imagined and it was all he could do not to take her back inside and make love to her right then.

“Hey,” she whispered with a shy smile. She was still somewhat self-conscious, but she was trying. Jay walked over and grabbed both her hands and eyed her up and down.

“Hey… you’re…. wow. Breathtaking,” he smiled.

Lauren couldn’t help the blush that formed. “Thanks babe.”

He leaned down and softly kissed her lips. “What’s…. what’s all this?” she asked.

Jay smiled. “A romantic candle light dinner for two.”

“Jay….”

He stopped her; “The rest of your birthday surprises. It’s just a day later, but you still deserve it and I know you’re going to love it. I made one of your favorites.”

“You didn’t have to do all this Jay.”

“Yes, I did because I wanted to. So, just enjoy love.”

Lauren smiled as he led her to the table. “Chicken parm?” she asked and Jay nodded. “You’re the best,” she whispered leaning up to kiss him. He held her chair out for her and sat her down. Lauren looked around. ‘ _This is definitely home,’_ she thought.

They ate and everything was delicious; not only did he treat her like a queen, he could cook too. “Jay, this was wonderful; so delicious.”

“I’m glad baby.”

Once he moved the plates to his side he handed her the card. “Jay…”

“Just open it,” he smiled.

Lauren opened the card. Inside was nothing but his handwriting. Lauren started reading.

“To the love of my life,             There is no one more perfect for me than you. We complete each other in the best of ways. When I met you five years ago, I knew there was something special about you. We might have drifted for a few years, but we found our way back and that tells me one thing; we are meant to be. I love you more now than I ever thought would be possible. You completely stole my heart, and I never want it back. This past summer when you showed back up, you rocked my world like you always do. I knew that no matter what you would be mine again.             The day I decided to marry you, I knew it would be the best decision I’d ever made. I know we haven’t exactly got to have a normal marriage starting out, but have we ever done normal? It’s us, and I can't wait for the day you move here for good. Waking up to your beautiful face every day and going to sleep knowing you’ll be here in the mornings, it is one of the greatest thoughts ever.             I love you so much Lauren Kathleen. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love you. I can't wait to experience this life with you, to have babies and a family, to grow old together. You are my forever Lauren, no one but you, and I hope you know how much I love you. I hope this has been a great birthday my love, and there’s many more to come.                                                                                                                         All my love, Jay”

 

Lauren had tears pouring down her face. She was so in love with him, there was no way she could ever leave him. She jumped up and ran to his side of the table. She sat down and kissed him hard. “I love you Jay Matthew Halstead. God I love you so much. Thank you… thank you for making this the best birthday ever and for loving me,” she whispered.

Jay wrapped his arms around her holding her tight after wiping her tears. “Loving you is easy baby. It’s the easiest thing ever.”

Lauren smiled and kissed him hard tangling her fingers in his hair. “Take me to bed Jay.”

“Yes mam,” He smiled picking her up bridal style.

Once in the bedroom, he sat her down on her feet by the bed. “This dress… damn baby…. It looks so much better than I imagined.”

“It’s not too tight or…”

She didn’t get to finish her thought as he kissed her hard. “It’s sexy as hell Lauren. And I can see this little tiny bump showing off our peanut,” he grinned.

“I know. I love seeing it. I can't wait til it’s bigger.”

“Me either,” he ginned running his hands over it.

Lauren knew he would love watching her belly grow round and that he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands off her. She was really looking forward to it. She was so ready to give him his surprise too. “Undress me Jay,” she whispered running her hands over the front of his shirt.

Jay bit his lip as he eyed her up and down again. He reached around and pulled the zipper down running his hands over her back. She watched as his eyes darkened with realization. “Lauren….” He whispered. Lauren just smiled at him.

“Fuck baby,” he moaned peeling the dress from her.

“Surprise,” she whispered pulling his shirt off him. Jay got the dress all the way down. “You… fuck…. If I’d known….. God baby.”

Lauren loved it; loved watching him. She ran her hand over the front of his jeans against his growing erection. Jay moaned again and she giggled. “What’s the matter Jay?” she asked teasing him.

“You…. You have been completely naked under here this whole time. Damn baby. I wanted you so bad when I first saw you. I wanted to bring you to bed right then; if I’d known… you wouldn’t have gotten dinner til later.”

“Show me,” she whispered biting her lip sexily letting her fingers brush against him again.

Jay shed his jeans and boxers and laid her on the bed. He started kissing on her neck, soft open mouthed kisses. Lauren whimpered and arched against him. Jay pushed her back down on the bed. “Oh no… this will be slow and sweet,” he whispered kissing her lips.

“Jay…. I….”

“Trust me?” he whispered rubbing her cheek.

“With everything.”

Jay nodded. “Close your eyes.”

Lauren was curious and so turned on. She needed him so bad. Jay came back and grabbed her wrists. “Trust me?” He asked again.

“I do Jay,” she said cracking her eyes open. Jay smiled as he leaned down and kissed her hard. He pulled her arms above her head. He used two ties and tied her wrists to the headboard. Lauren hummed and tried to pull them loose but he’d tied her good. It just turned her on more.

He held her hips still and went back to kissing on her. His kisses got harder and more passionate on her neck. Lauren was moaning and tossing her head side to side. She tugged on her restraints but he just kept kissing on her. He held her hips still; he found the sweet spot where her neck and shoulder meet right above her collarbone.

He kissed and sucked. Lauren was so close she couldn’t stand it. “Jay….. Babe….please,” she begged. She felt his smile against her neck.

She was completely pinned to the bed and about to come; he hadn’t even touched her except to kiss her neck. Jay knew she was close. He sucked and lightly bit that spot and she came moaning his name.

She tried to move but he kept her still. She was whimpering, begging, pleading and he loved it. But he still had more for her. “Relajarse Hermosa (relax, beautiful),” he whispered; “te tengo a ti. (I got you)” Lauren couldn’t relax; she needed him so bad. She tossed her head side to side.

“Jay…. please, please, please,” she begged.

“Please what?” he whispered before softly kissing her lips.

“Need you… need you,” she panted.

“Right here…. Not going anywhere,” he whispered kissing down to her breasts. He kept her still wanting her to just enjoy as he made her come over and over. He closed his lips around her nipple and sucked. Lauren moaned and pleaded.

Jay softly squeezed her hips. He switched between her breasts, kissing and sucking. Lauren could feel another orgasm building. “Jay….. Oh god…. Jay….” she moaned.

He smiled as he watched her. She was so beautiful stretched out and pinned under him. Her skin had a slight blush to it and a thin sheen of sweat from her first orgasm. God she was so beautiful. He flicked his tongue across her nipple; squeezed her hips again.

Lauren tugged and tossed her head back on the pillows exposing her neck. She was so close. “Jay….. Please…. God so close…. Please, please, please,” she begged.

Jay sucked her nipple hard lightly biting it. Lauren screamed out his name as her second orgasm ripped through her. Jay loved watching her come; it was such a beautiful sight. He sucked her until she came down. She was panting and dying to touch him. Jay softly kissed her shoulders, neck, cheeks, forehead, and lips.

“So beautiful….. The most beautiful girl ever,” he whispered rubbing her sides.

“Need….. God…. Need you please,” she begged.

Jay smiled and softly kissed her. “You got me baby.”

Lauren moaned and tugged her arms. “Tell me Lauren,” he whispered.

She moaned again tossing her head. She was throbbing and needing to feel him, touch him, feel him in her.

“Tell me…. Tell me and I’ll give you anything you want,” he whispered nipping at her nipples.

“Jay….. Please,” she begged.

“Say it baby…”

“Need to touch you… need to feel you…. Need to feel you buried in me, taking me… please Jay, please,” she begged.

Jay kissed her hard and released her hands. She wrapped them around him holding on tight as she kissed him back. She wrapped her legs around his waist and flipped them. She sank down on him and almost screamed out from the pleasure.

Jay arched into her grabbing her hips. “Lauren….. Fuck baby,” he moaned from how wet she was around him.

Lauren moved hard and fast on him. She need him so bad and was just moving on auto pilot just needing the pleasure. Jay sat up against the headboard pushing him deeper into her. Lauren laid her head on his shoulder as he kept moving her.

“Jay…. I… Oh god…. So… so… fuck jay,” she panted. She was so close to another orgasm, but she was fighting it, wanting to make it good for him. Jay pulled her head up and cradled her face arching into her.

“Don’t fight it…. Come for me Lauren.”

“You…. Gotta…..” Jay kissed her hard, lightly biting her bottom lip.

“I said come,” he whispered squeezing her breasts as he brushed her nipples. Lauren bit her lip, still holding back.

Jay flipped them, thrust into her hard as he sucked on her neck. “Come on Lauren…. I can feel it. Come,” he growled as she was squeezing him. He sucked her nipple between his lips and reached down and flicked her clit with his fingers.

Lauren exploded, her orgasm taking her breath. Jay came with her moaning her name as she squeezed him hard with her inner muscles riding wave after wave. He laid his head on her shoulder and rode it out with her. He heard her catch a breath and he softly kissed on her letting her come down.

“Jay…. Jay…. Jay….” she panted holding on to him for dear life.

“I got you…. I’m here,” he whispered, rolling so she was laying on top of him.

Lauren slowly caught her breath as she snuggled into him. She was blissfully exhausted. “Love you, Jay,” she whispered. He smiled as he rubbed her back.

“I love you too Lauren.”

It wasn’t five minutes and she was sound asleep. Jay rubbed her back as he watched her. He loved her so much and didn’t want to let her go. He knew it was only three days, but it felt like it was going to be the longest three days ever.

Just three days and she would be moved in for good and he couldn’t wait. This life with her is what he wanted and he was so glad they were finally to the point that it was starting. He watched her until he too fell asleep.


	28. Three Days & Graduation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to say thanks to Firstamamawifeafriend for the help & inspiration for this chapter :) It’s a long one so enjoy :)

The next day Lauren headed back. She just wanted to stay, but kept telling herself it was just three days. The first day was uneventful; the second day looked to be much of the same. That night though her mom drove to town and they had dinner. It had been her last day of student teaching and she was thrilled.

She was moving to Chicago permanently tomorrow and then she graduated next Friday. Over dinner they kept the conversation light; school, her brother and grandparents. She’d been able to hide her growing bump all night with a loose fitting long shirt. Lauren knew she had to tell her about Chicago and the baby, but she was nervous. “So…. Mom, I wanted to tell you that I’m moving to Chicago for good tomorrow.”

“We’re not discussing this Lauren Kathleen!”

“Mom, we have to. You can't stay mad at me forever. I’m moving, don’t you want me happy?”

“I said no. Now enough.”

Lauren sighed as her mother paid for dinner. She decided it might be best to keep the baby to herself for a little while longer. “I love you mom, but I am moving. I’m married and I’m happy. I was hoping we could put this behind us.”

“You went against everything I said, everything I thought I’d taught you to believe. That’s not something we just up and put behind us. Now I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Lauren nodded as they left the restaurant. “I have a long drive tomorrow so I will see you at graduation,” she said getting into her car. Her mother didn’t reply; just nodded and left.

Lauren was sad her mother wouldn’t listen to her or try to work it out. Deep down she’d known she probably wouldn’t, but it still stung. She vowed that no matter what she would always try and listen to her children. She’d just gotten back to the motel room when her phone rang showing Jay was calling.

She couldn’t help but smile hearing his voice.

“Hey my beautiful wife. How’d it go?” He knew she was going out to eat with her mom and he wanted to check on her.

“It was alright until I brought up tomorrow, and she didn’t want to hear about it.”

“I’m sorry baby,” he said knowing she’d wanted to make it work with her.

“It’s fine. She’s choosing to shut me out so…”

“I know, but it still hurts and I wish I was there for you.”

Lauren smiled; he could read her like a book. “Yea, but I’ll get over it. Tomorrow is going to be a good day, and I will see you then.”

“Yes you will. I have a surprise for you in the morning too. So sleep in and don’t leave until about nine thirty.”

“But it’s a long drive babe.”

“I know, but it’ll be worth it. I promise.”

“Ok, ok, I’ll sleep in,” she said giving in because she did love his surprises.

“Get some sleep love and tomorrow you’ll be back in my arms. You’ll be home.”

“Goodnight Jay. I love you.”

“I love you too baby.”

They hung up and went to bed. The next morning Lauren slept until about nine. She text him as soon as she was up, but he didn’t text back which was odd. She still had about thirty minutes until her surprise would arrive, but she was anxious to get on the road. She decided to get ready to pass the time.

Just as she finished her hair and making sure everything was packed, there was a knock on the door. ‘ _His surprise is here,’_ she thought as she went to open the door. To say she was surprised was an understatement. There he stood on the other side of the door with a big smile.

She jumped into his arms kissing him. “What are you doing here?” she finally asked.

“I didn’t want you driving back by yourself, so I took the day and flew down to surprise you.”

“Jay Matthew Halstead you are the best,” she smiled kissing him again. They got all her stuff loaded and checked out. They made it back to Chicago right at ten hours later. She was so glad to be home and in his arms. This was the start of their happy ever after.

 

**7 days later….**

Lauren had been home for seven days and it had been the best seven days ever. Jay had worked every day but Sunday since she’d been home so he could be off to go back with her for graduation. He’d been partnered with Antonio or Atwater since Thanksgiving; he hadn’t spoken to Erin about it because he was constantly busy. He wasn’t too worried about it though because he still wasn’t ready to talk to her without exploding on her.

Lauren used those seven days to get everything situated in the apartment. She didn’t move anything too heavy, nor did she do a lot each day knowing Jay would die if she did. She had supper waiting on him each night, and her favorite part of the day was when he would come home.

It was Wednesday, and she was packing their stuff to go back to Tennessee tomorrow. Graduation was Friday night, and they were coming back on Saturday. She felt hands wrap around her waist over her bump.

She felt him softly kiss on her neck making her giggle. “We have four straight days together, and I know something we can do to pass the time,” he whispered in her ear.

“Jay…. I have to finish packing, she giggled.

“It can wait,” he said picking her up and tossing her on the bed. They made love all night long. The next morning, he finished packing and made her breakfast. After they ate, they headed out for Tennessee, with Lauren sleeping most of the way.

On Friday, they did lunch with her family, since graduation was at night. Her mother wasn’t happy with Jay being there, but Lauren told her to get over it. He was her husband and he was going to be there, or neither of them would be.

Lunch was mostly pleasant since it was most of her family and not just her mom and step-dad. Her mom didn’t really talk to them much, and that was ok with Lauren. She was just ready for graduation to be over so she could get back home.

It seemed like graduation took forever that night, and Lauren was glad when it was over. She couldn’t get out of the hot auditorium or her cap and gown fast enough. They took quite a few pictures with everyone, and Jay sent some pictures and videos to Kelly.

She’d only had a set number of tickets to give to people, and Kelly had told her not to worry about it. He was so proud of her, and he and Shay stayed in Chicago and planned her a graduation party at Molly’s for Sunday after they got back.

Lauren was thrilled; she now had her degree. All she had to do was pass the Illinois state exam and she would be certified to teach in both Tennessee and Illinois.

Once they finished up at the college, Lauren told Jay she wanted to try one more time to get through to her mom. Jay offered to go with her and Lauren told him no. She was adamant that this was something she had to handle alone. Jay reluctantly agreed and dropped her off at her mom’s.

He told her he was going to pack up at the motel and that he would be back within two hours, maybe sooner depending. He headed back to the motel to pack everything for their return trip tomorrow. He prayed, for Lauren’s sake, that her mom would listen.

 

Lauren and her mom had gone upstairs to her mom’s room to talk away from Michael and her brother. Lauren tried everything, but her mother wouldn’t listen. She kept telling Lauren how crazy she was and that she couldn’t believe she would just up and marry someone and move states away without approval.

Finally Lauren had heard enough. They walked out to the top of the stairs screaming at each other. Lauren told her that there was nothing she could do because she was happily married and officially moved to Chicago. She had nothing left to hold over her. At this point, her mother had given her no reason to ever come back or any reason for Lauren to ever let her have anything to do with her grandchildren.

Lauren knew Jay was still twenty minutes out, but she was done with this conversation/argument. She would wait outside until he got there. She’d tried and her mother just wasn’t listening.

“I hope your future children treat you better than you have me!” he mother yelled.

“They will because they will know they’re loved and supported no matter what!” Lauren yelled back. She’d turned to leave before turning back to yell at her. It caused her to lose her balance. She grabbed for the hand rail, but she was too far from it.

She felt herself falling and she protectively wrapped her arms around her bump as she screamed. It was like slow motion for her mother watching her daughter fall down the steps, hitting her head on the way. Her screams became silent as she landed.

Her brother was already on the phone with emergency personnel, having dialed 911 has soon as he saw her falling. Deb ran down the stairs screaming Lauren’s name, not getting a response. “Don’t move her. We don’t know her injuries,” Michael said stopping his wife from moving her daughter.

Lauren had landed on her back and her arms were still around her stomach. “Oh God…. Oh God…. Oh God…. What have I done? What have I done?” Deb cried. She knelt down and rubbed Lauren’s cheek begging her to wake up.

The EMTs were there in fifteen minutes, just before Jay. He pulled in seeing the ambulance and panicked. He jumped out and ran up the steps; they had just loaded her on the stretcher and were fixing to take her. “Lauren!” he screamed reaching for her.

“Sorry, sir. We need to move now.”

Jay barely managed to get the name of the hospital so he could get there before they took her away. She was pale and looked like she was sleeping and he was freaking out. Her mother was sobbing uncontrollably at this point.

“What the hell happened?!” he screamed.

“She fell down the steps,” Michael said trying to console Deb as her brother brought them the car keys.

“Fell? Or was pushed?” Jay accused feeling his anger and fear coming out.

“She…. She…. Lost…. Her balance…. And fell, I swear,” Deb sobbed. Jay had heard enough and sprinted back to her car. He typed the hospital name into the gps and took off for the hospital.

He called Kelly first. “Hey Jay. Everything’s set for Sunday.”

“Kelly….” Jay had to take a breath to choke back the tears. “Somethings…. Somethings happened. She… she was at her mom’s because she wanted to try one more time and I let her. She… she fell down the stairs and was unconscious. They…. They…. They took her by ambulance to the hospital and I’m on my way,” he said unable to choke back the tears.

“Fuck! Are you sure she fell?” Kelly was furious and worried.

“I dunno. That’s what they said. Deb was too upset to give a full story, but she just kept saying she fell. I never should’ve left her there Kel.”

No matter how worried he was, Kelly couldn’t let Jay blame himself when he knew his sister. “No, she’s stubborn and probably insisted on doing it on her own.”

“Yea… yea she did.”

“I know. Keep me posted and I’ll start looking for flights.”

“I will. See ya,” Jay said as they hung up.

He dialed Will next. He knew he wouldn’t know much, but he could at least investigate for him. Jay needed to know if this was a good hospital or not, and he needed Natalie to call Lauren’s old OB and get her to the hospital stat. He should know all these doctor names but he didn’t because he didn’t figure she’d be seeing any of them again.

Jay made it to the hospital about twenty minutes after the ambulance. He flashed his badge in the ER demanding information on his wife. All they told him was that the doctors were working on her, but that wasn’t good enough for him. He demanded to know where, and finally one of the nurses took pity on him and showed him to her room.

The doctors were hooking her up and assessing her. They’d just gotten her back from an MRI and were putting her on oxygen and IVs. “My baby. Is the baby ok? Is there a fetal heartbeat? Is my baby ok?” Jay kept asking seeing they had not hooked her to any type of fetal monitor.

The doctors were ignoring him and pushed him in a corner. He was getting furious that they were ignoring him, but he knew they needed to work. She was so pale and still and it broke his heart. Tears slipped down his cheeks as he prayed they were both ok.

In about five minutes another doctor walked in with a Doppler. Jay pushed off the wall and walked over to her bed. The other doctors went out leaving just the one. “Mr. Halstead? I’m Dr. Allen. Dr. Manning gave me a call. We’re going to check on the baby ok?”

Jay nodded as he held her hand brushing his thumbs across her knuckles. “I understand she fell?” Again Jay nodded as he held his breath waiting for his baby’s heartbeat to fill the room. Dr. Allen moved the wand around, hearing nothing.

Jay felt like he was breaking in two. He couldn’t lose them, he just couldn’t. He felt his tears fall faster. “Please no,” he whispered still listening hard but hearing nothing. He held her hand tighter as he cried. Dr. Allen called for an ultrasound machine as she kept moving the Doppler around. As soon as it was brought in, she switched to it.

Once she moved it around just a little she saw the baby and they could hear the heartbeat. “There he or she is Mr. Halstead,” Dr. Allen smiled. “The baby was just hiding. Sometimes when the mom is distressed the baby will hide. With the Doppler it’s harder to find their heartbeat if they’re hiding.”

Jay cried tears of joy seeing his, their baby on the screen. He or she looked more like a baby now. He laid his head on the bed beside her belly as he cried. Dr. Allen watched to make sure the baby was stable. Jay softly kissed her exposed stomach. “Daddy loves you baby. You and mommy are going to be ok,” he whispered.

Dr. Allen smiled seeing the baby move hearing daddy’s voice. “Say something else and watch the screen,” she smiled at Jay.

Jay glanced up at the screen wondering why she wanted him to, but he did it anyways. “We’ll be home some, baby,” he whispered and watched as his baby kicked. A few more tears of relief fell watching the baby moving on the screen.

“She can't feel it yet because the baby is too small still, but as the baby grows, she’ll start to feel flutters and then kicks. I’d say in the next week or two she will start feeling it and maybe even you too.” Jay nodded as he watched his baby amazed.

“She’s going to be ok right?” he asked glancing back at Lauren.

“I’ll let her doctors talk to you,” Dr. Allen said turning off the machine and wiping the gel off her stomach. “I’ll be back later to check in, but this will monitor the baby,” she said hooking her up to a fetal monitor.

Jay nodded and laid his head back on the bed. He kept his hand in hers and laid the other one across her bump, softly rubbing.

In just a little bit, he heard the door slide open again. He glanced over expecting to see a doctor, but instead saw Deb and Michael. “Get out! You’re not welcome in here!”

Deb was still sobbing. “You can't make those decisions. This is our daughter,” Michael said.

“She is NOT your daughter, she’s Deb’s. I can make these decisions! She’s my wife and I said get out!!!”

Lauren’s blood pressure was rising and a nurse came in. “I will make you all leave if you don’t calm down and quit fighting. Stress is not good for her or the baby!”

Jay laid his head back down ignoring the shocked looked on Deb and Michael’s faces hearing the word baby. He rubbed her hand and whispered to her that he was there and it was all ok. Michael pulled Deb back out to the waiting room.

Lauren’s BP came back down and the nurse left him with her. He begged and pleaded with her to wake up, just needing to see her beautiful green eyes again.

In just a few minutes the doctor walked in. “Mr. Halstead? I’m Dr. Novak.”

“Nice to meet you,” he said sitting up and wiping his eyes. “Is she ok?”

“Mr. Halstead from my understanding your wife suffered a serious fall. She and her unborn child are stable at this time. Having said that, we’ve discovered some unsettling findings from her MRI.”

Jay looked panicked fearing the worst.

“Your wife suffered a MTBI, more commonly known as a minor traumatic brain injury. What concerns us is there is some swelling present on the frontal lobe. We are administering IV fluids, antibiotics, and a medication to help reduce the swelling. I realize this is a lot of information, but Mr. Halstead rest assured, my team and I are monitoring her condition closely. At this point I’m confident enough to say that she should make a full recovery.”

Jay nodded taking it all in. “When…. When will she wake up?”

“Unfortunately in cases such as your wife’s, we don’t have a time frame. The brain is a complex organ. Each patient reacts to treatment differently. Let’s try to keep a positive outlook; continue to communicate with her. We’ve seen patients respond much more efficiently to treatment when loved ones spoke to them. We will continue to monitor her and the baby. I’ll check back in soon.”

He sat there for the longest just watching her and softly talking to her and the baby. He knew he needed to call Kelly and Will so he stepped right outside her room where he could still see her.

He called Kelly and gave him the update. Kelly said if she hadn’t woken by the morning, he would catch a flight down. Jay called Will next. Will told him to keep him updated; he was on shift all night so if Jay needed anything, even just someone to listen to call.

After hanging up with them, Jay took a deep breath before turning to go back. He saw Deb walking towards him and sighed. It would be better to have this conversation away from Lauren, so he stopped before going back into her room.

Deb had managed to get herself mostly under control although she was still crying some. “Is she ok Jay?” she asked.

“She will be eventually. She has some swelling on her brain, but they’re giving her medicine for it.”

Deb started crying again. “What… what was that about a baby?”

Jay sighed a little. “Deb… Lauren is seventeen weeks pregnant. We found out over fall break right after I proposed.”

“She’s….. She’s…. really pregnant?”

“Yes she is.”

“Is the baby ok from the fall?”

“They’re both stable for now. Look I don’t know what happened, and I’ll get Lauren’s side later, but I have to protect my wife and baby.”

“I know I screwed up,” she cried. “But I will make this right Jay. She’s my daughter…. My little girl. She needs me.”

“Yea… She’s needed you for a while but that didn’t seem to matter.”

“I know…. I know…. I’ve really screwed up, but I can't lose her Jay. I can't,” she cried.

Jay was quiet for a minute. “I understand. Right now I just need to keep her calm and get her awake. After that happens, we can go from there, ok?”

“I…. I… understand,” she whispered. Jay felt for her and there was no way he’d ever keep Lauren from her mom, but right now he had to protect them until he knew what really happened and she was awake.

“I…. I…. I need to talk to her before yall go back, I just have to, please,” she cried.

“I understand, and when she’s more stable and awake we’ll talk. But it will only be you. Michael has no rights and after the way he’s always treated her, I do not want him around her or our baby.”

“I understand,” Deb said with a sniff. Michael came looking for her and instead of having another fight, Jay turned and walked back into her room. He sat back down by the bed holding her hand.

He told her the story of when they first met and how he knew then that she was the one for him. He begged and pleaded some more for her to wake up because he needed her and couldn’t go through this life without her. He told her how their baby was looking more like a baby and he just knew she was going to look Lauren. He was still adamant that the baby was going to be a girl that looked just like her mommy.

The nurses came in around two and checked her vitals and IVs; both Lauren and the baby were still stable, she just wasn’t waking up. Jay laid his head on her bed holding her hand and eventually cried himself to sleep. He was so afraid she was never going to wake up, and he just didn’t know what he would do if that happened.

Lauren woke around five in the morning and looked around. She could hear the heart monitors and the oxygen machine. She felt the IVs in her hands and she saw Jay asleep holding her hand. She wanted to reach out and stroke his tear stained cheek, but his grip on her hand was tight, and she didn’t want to disturb him. He looked peaceful even with the tear stains.

She had no idea how long she’d been there or been out for, but she could tell he’d been really worried and upset. She glanced around and saw the fetal monitor so she took that to mean her baby was still ok. A nurse came in just as she started drifting.

She asked her a few questions, which Lauren could answer, and told her the doctor would be around soon. Lauren fell back asleep.

When Jay woke the next morning, she was still sleeping. He ran a hand over his face and quietly went to find some coffee. He prayed she would wake up soon, not knowing, she’d already been awake. He sat back down by her bed and talked to her softly as he drank his coffee.

She heard his voice and then smelt the coffee. She slowly opened her eyes feeling sick. “Jay…. coffee… sick,” she managed taking him totally by surprise. He grabbed the garbage can just in time for her to throw up in it. Once she was done, he got a wet wash cloth and wiped her face.

He cradled her face between his hands and cried from relief. “You’re awake… you’re here and awake,” he whispered letting his thumbs rub her cheeks relaxing her.

“I’m ok,” she whispered staring into his watery blue eyes. “But the coffee has to go,” she said scrunching her nose. He’d forgotten coffee was still a trigger for making her sick while pregnant; she’d always been able to drink it before and loved the smell until it started making her sick after they found out about the baby. He got up and poured it out in the bathroom and threw it away.

He sat back down by her rubbing her cheek and just watching her. “I thought I’d lost you,” he whispered.

Lauren felt tears gather at all the stress she’d put him through. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“It’s ok… you are going to be ok and so is our baby. We’re all going to be ok,” he smiled softly kissing her. He was so glad she was awake. He hoped the doctor would give them good news and they could get back home. He just wanted to get her back where he could protect her and the baby and love her and keep her safe.

He knew he’d never keep her from her mom, but right now, he didn’t think it was best for Lauren to be around them. He wanted her home, away from all this drama where she knew she was safe and loved. He held her to him and softly rubbed her back just needing her close. He felt her drift back off and he sighed. He softly kissed her forehead and laid her back on the bed. He sat down in his chair to wait on the doctor.

Dr. Novak came in around eight. “Good morning Mr. Halstead. I understand she’s awake.”

Jay nodded. “She woke up just a little bit ago and we talked for a few minutes before she fell back asleep.”

“I understand she woke up about five too. Did you ask her any specific questions related to the fall?”

“No sir. I didn’t know she’d already been awake and I forgot coffee still made her sick. So, she woke up sick. After that we talked briefly and then she fell back asleep.”

Dr. Novak started assessing her. “See if you can get her awake for me?”

Jay nodded and moved to the side of her bed again. He reached over and rubbed her cheek. “Hey baby, wake up for me,” he said quietly. Lauren whimpered a little and her eyes fluttered. She just wanted to stay asleep, wanted him to hold her and sleep. “I know… I know… Just for minute Lauren. Let me see those beautiful eyes,” he whispered.

Lauren reached for him and fluttered her eyes open. “There they are,” he smiled. “The doctor is here,” he said placing a soft kiss on her cheek.

Lauren looked around and saw the doctor. “Hi,” she said quietly.

“Hi, Mrs. Halstead. I’m Dr. Novak. How are you feeling?”

“Sleepy… really sleepy.”

“I understand. If it’s alright with you I’d like to do a quick assessment, then you may rest again. You’re feeling slightly drowsy due to a combination of medication, in addition, you suffered a minor brain injury. Your body’s way of protecting the vital organs is with rest. So please Mrs. Halstead, I encourage you to get as much rest as possible and take it slow.”

“She will,” Jay said before she could agree. Even if he had to take off until she was totally better, he was going to make sure she did whatever she had to to heal properly.

Dr. Novak completed his assessment. “Normally we would do more than one scan, but because of the pregnancy, we don’t want to subject the baby to an excessive amount of radiation. We’ll continue to monitor you and once the swelling goes down, we will be able to release you. That could be anywhere from tomorrow to a few weeks from now, but we will stay positive and continue to give you the medication.”

“Thank you doctor,” Jay said. Dr. Novak nodded and went out. Jay rubbed her cheek just watching her. He got up and turned the lights down before sitting back down by her.

“Just rest love; I’ll be right here,” he whispered with a smile.

Lauren felt tears gather in her eyes. “I want you to hold me,” she whispered as a few slipped down her cheeks breaking his heart. She felt the safest in his arms and right now that’s just what she needed.

“Just until you’re asleep. Then I’ll stay right here,” he said nodding to the chair. He gently lifted her and laid down holding her to him. Lauren fell asleep soon, and he gently laid her on the bed. He sat back down in the chair and called Kelly to update him. Kelly was glad she was awake and resting. He told Jay he would fly down if he wanted him too, and Jay told him it was totally up to him.

Kelly caught a flight that night. He needed to be there for his sister and he would. He and Jay sat with her day in and day out. Neither one hardly ever left her side. Five days from being admitted, she was more awake and not as tired as she had been. Dr. Novak determined the swelling had gone down and that he could release her. They were all relieved, and Lauren was glad to just be going home finally. Dr. Novak cautioned her to still take it easy and rest because her body would still be healing and she agreed.

It was still early enough that they decided to head back to Chicago once she was released. Lauren wanted her bed and her home, and Jay felt more comfortable getting her home and closer to Med where they knew everyone. Not that Dr. Novak or the hospital hadn’t been good to her because they really had, but he just liked having people he knew and trusted treat her.

Lauren slept most of the way and so did Jay, letting Kelly drive them back. He’d laid the back seat down and Lauren slept on him with his hand resting protectively on her bump. Kelly smiled seeing them. His baby sister had someone that loved her unconditionally and made her happy and that was all he’d ever wanted for her.

They got home, and Jay carried her inside since she was still asleep. Will and Natalie were waiting on them with supper and Jay smiled. “Thanks guys,” he whispered.

“Of course brother. How is she?”

“Asleep. She slept most of the way here. Dr. Novak told us that even though the swelling had gone down, she would still be tired and need rest.”

Will nodded. “Are you going back to work?” he asked after Jay settled Lauren in bed.

Jay shrugged. “I need to, but I don’t want to leave her yet.”

“We can work out a schedule little brother and someone could stay with her while you were at work.”

Jay nodded and gave Will a hug. “I missed you,” he admitted quietly. He’d needed his big brother through all this and he was glad they were home now.

“I know buddy. She’s ok though. She’s just in there sleeping,” Will said picking up on what Jay wasn’t saying. He knew he’d been scared and he totally understood. He rubbed his head.

“Come on let’s eat and then you go sleep with her. We’ll stay tonight that way if anything happens were here. Not saying it will but I thought that might make you feel better.”

Jay nodded; “Yea it would.”

“I know,” Will smiled as they fixed their plates. Jay looked worn down and he knew he probably hadn’t slept much in the last five days. He hoped tonight would be uneventful and his brother could get some good rest. They ate and Jay was almost asleep at the table even though he’d slept most of the way home too.

Will patted his back. “Go to bed little brother and sleep. We’ll be here if yall need anything.”

Jay nodded and started to take his stuff to the kitchen. “Nope we got it,” Will said grabbing his plate. “Bed, now,” he smiled pushing Jay towards the bedroom.

Jay laughed a little. “Bossy,” he mumbled.

“That’s what older brothers are for,” Will laughed. “Good night Jay.”

“Night Will,” Jay said walking into the bedroom and closing the door. Lauren was still asleep curled up on his pillow. He smiled; she must have been looking for him in her sleep like she’d done the last few days and found his pillow.

He stripped down to boxers and crawled in bed beside her. He gently lifted her off his pillow and she snuggled into him immediately. “I’m here baby. I’m here,” he whispered gently stroking her back. Lauren settled down seeming to totally relax into him and stayed asleep.

Jay softly kissed her forehead and watched her for a minute. He loved this girl and baby more than he’d ever thought possible and he didn’t know what he’d do without them. They were his everything and he would protect them at all cost. “I love you so much Lauren Kathleen Halstead and no matter what I’m always going to love you and our baby,” he whispered. He saw her smile and he knew she heard him.

He kissed her forehead one more time and fell sound asleep too, glad to be home with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed and will let me know what you thought :)


	29. The Talk/Grad Party/Christmas

Jay and Lauren had been home since Wednesday. He’d made sure she took it easy. They laid around and watched a lot of TV and Netflix. On Friday, Hank asked him to come in and fill out the paperwork for his leave for this week. Lauren told him to go that she would be fine.

He made her promise to just relax and that he would be back before she knew it. Lauren smiled as she watched him. She had no idea how she got lucky enough to find this amazing man, but she was one lucky woman. She laid on the couch and rubbed her belly. “You have an amazing daddy little one. We are so lucky.”

She felt the tiniest flutter and smiled. “I feel you love. Before long you’ll be kicking up and storm and daddy will be able to feel you too.” She felt another flutter. She loved being able to feel their baby and she knew Jay was excited and waiting for the day he could as well.

It wasn’t long and she felt herself drifting to sleep. “Maybe a little nap til daddy’s back,” she whispered and fell sound asleep.

 

At the district, Jay met with Voight and signed all his papers. He asked how Lauren was doing and Jay smiled. She was his favorite person to talk about; “She’s doing good. Much better than last week. Just been resting a lot.”

“That’s good kid. I’m glad. Party Monday at Molly’s?”

“Yes. She said she’s up for it, so we’re going to celebrate. She deserves it,” he smiled.

“We’ll be there,” Hank said and Jay nodded. He was ready to get back to her.

“Thanks for the time off . I’ll be back after Christmas.”

“Of course. I understand kid.”

Jay nodded and headed out. Erin was waiting on him and he sighed. “What do you want?”

“Jay… please. Let’s talk.”

He sighed as he looked around at all the others looking at them. He did not want another scene in front of everyone like at the fire hall.

“Fine,” he said heading for the locker room.

Erin followed him. She knew she needed to talk to him because they hadn’t since Thanksgiving. She hated not being partnered with him, and since he’d been off for over a week now, she missed him.

“Make this quick. I need to get home,” he said propping up on the lockers.

“Can't we just sit and talk like before?”

“Are you fucking kidding me Erin?”

“No. I’m not. I’m your partner, but yet we haven’t worked together and you won't fucking talk to me.”

“Because you tried to ruin my life!” He tried getting control of himself or they would be making another scene.

“No, I didn’t. I was trying to look out for you. You’re my partner Jay.”

“Yea well not now! You had no right, no fucking right to say any of that to her! I get it, you like me and want me for yourself, but I. Am. Married. I love Lauren. I love my baby. You should’ve came to me with your ‘concerns,’ but you didn’t. You said shit to her that I’ve never said and I would never say. It was all things in your head and you fucked with her!”

Erin looked down and tears gathered. “Jay…”

“No Erin! I don’t trust you and I don’t want you to be my partner right now. Partners don’t do that to each other. They don’t try and ruin the others life for their own selfish gains.”

“Jay wait… I just… with everything that’s happened in my life you were my other rock. Everyone always leaves. Hank is the only one who hasn’t and you hadn’t until now. Your marriage… it was taking you from me. We don’t hang out or anything like we used to and I can't handle losing you too. I miss you,” she admitted quietly.

“Erin… that’s what happens when someone gets married. They have their own life and things change. I get it; you’ve had a rough life with people coming and going, but that still doesn’t give you any right to say what you did to her!”

“I know…. I’m sorry Jay. I just…. I can't lose you and I am and I don’t know what to do,” she said wiping her eyes. She wouldn’t cry in front of him, she just wouldn’t.

“I don’t trust you and we won't be partners again until I do. It’s going to take a lot to earn that trust back Erin. It’s not going to happen overnight. And I swear to god you better not ever say or look at her the wrong way ever again! She is my wife and she will always come before you or anyone else!”

“I won't I swear. I just need you back in my life Jay. You’ve been the only other constant in my life and without that I feel off balance.”

“I understand, but you have to earn that trust back, and it’s going to take a lot.”

Erin nodded and wiped at her eyes again. “I have to go. I’ll see you later,” Jay said giving her shoulder a squeeze before he walked off. He knew Erin had it rough in life, but that still didn’t give her a right to do what she’d done. He meant it when he said it would take a lot to earn his trust back and it would, but he was willing to let her try because she had been his partner.

 

When Jay got home, Lauren was still curled up on the couch asleep. He smiled a laid a blanket over her. He softly kissed her cheek and went to make them supper. Lauren heard noise in the kitchen and smelled food. “Jay?” she called.

She slowly got up and walked to the kitchen. “Hey beautiful,” he smiled walking over and softly kissing her.

“Hey,” she smiled. “Sorry I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”

“It’s fine baby. I got back and just decided to make supper. How does chicken fettucine sound?”

“Sounds yummy.” She felt a little flutter. “The baby agrees,” she laughed.

Jay laid his hand on her growing bump and rubbed. She’d really started showing and he was loving it. Lauren felt tiny little flutters over and over. She already had a daddy’s baby on her hands. She smiled and softly kissed him. “You’ll feel him or her soon,” she smiled. “If I keep growing you’ll feel them tomorrow,” she sighed rubbing her back.

“You’re beautiful,” he smiled letting his fingers knead her back.

“Thanks, babe,” she smiled. “But I’m going to have to go shopping. Nothing is fitting,” she said quietly.

“Tomorrow, if you feel up to it we’ll go to the mall.”

“Ok,” she smiled.

They ate dinner and she was exhausted. He carried her to bed and they slept. Lauren woke a couple of times with her back hurting, but Jay just rubbed it over and over until she fell back asleep. The next day they went to the mall and shopped. She used all of the gift card Shay had gotten her for her birthday, and then some on several outfits and dresses.

It felt like the baby was wiggling and turning flips all day. Lauren was tired once they got back home. Jay ran her a hot bath and let her relax as he put all her new clothes away. She ended up falling asleep in the tub. He went back to check on her and smiled. He drained the water and wrapped her in a towel. She snuggled into him but never woke. He tucked her into bed.

Sunday was uneventful; Kelly and Shay came over to visit and Shay brought more baby clothes. She’d been buying a whole bunch of onesies and neutral outfits. “Shay… seriously. This baby is going to have more clothes than he or she can wear,” Lauren laughed.

“There’s no such thing as too many clothes,” Shay said helping her put them away.

Lauren just rolled her eyes. “So when were you going to tell me?” Lauren asked.

“Tell you what?” Shay asked confused.

“That you’d finally admitted it and gotten together with my brother?”

Shay turned bright red. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Those hormones are messing with you.”

“Oh really?” Lauren laughed. “Is that why I saw you two kissing when you took your plates to the kitchen and thought no one was looking?”

Shay blushed again. “Ok…. You might’ve seen that… We… it’s… it’s still new. We haven’t told anyone.”

“Your secret’s safe with me… and Jay,” Lauren grinned giving her a hug. “I’m so, so, so, so, so glad,” she laughed. She’d been waiting for this day for five years and she hoped they made it work.

 

Monday afternoon rolled around and Lauren started getting ready for the party. She was looking forward to it, but she was also nervous. The last time she’d seen everyone together, it ended up being a huge disaster. Jay snuck up behind her and wrapped his arms around her belly.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered kissing her neck.

She blushed a little. “I’m getting so huge already,” she whispered.

Jay snuck his hands under the cotton dress and rubbed her belly. “I think you are the most beautiful ever. Our baby is growing inside of you and that is just amazing,” he whispered.

Lauren smiled. “You like the bump, huh?” she asked laying her hands over his.

“I do,” he grinned.

Lauren laid her head back on his shoulder. “I… Do we have to go?” she asked quietly as he kept rubbing her belly.

“I thought you were excited about this?” he asked turning her to face him. He let his hands drift to her back and rub. Lauren sighed; it felt so good. She laid her head on his shoulder.

“I was. I am. I just…. I dunno… last time I ruined everything when everyone got together and I just… I don’t want that to happen again. I know Kelly and Shay worked hard on this party.”

Jay kept rubbing her back. “You didn’t ruin anything last time, and it’s not going to happen again. I’m not going to let it. She knows what’s expected, if she even shows up. She won't do anything again.”

“Yall talked?” she asked sinking fully into his embrace as he kept rubbing her back.

“Yea… when I went to the station the other day. She insisted, but I told her like it was. I told her it was totally unacceptable what she did and that if she ever did it again she would pay. That she was never to talk to you or look at you the wrong way. I told her we would never be partners until she earned that trust back and that it would take a lot to earn it back.”

Lauren sighed. She might never trust Erin, but she trusted her husband.

“Come on. It’ll be fun. A night to totally celebrate all my girl has accomplished. It’ll be a blast,” he smiled down at her softly kissing her.

“Ok, let’s go,” she smiled standing on tip toe to kiss him.

They got to Molly’s and everyone was waiting on them. Kelly and Shay had completely decorated the entire place; Will was playing the guitar and singing and everyone was having a good time. They all cheered and clapped for her when they got there making her blush.

Shay adorned her in a graduation sash and crown making Lauren laugh. They had food catered and it was only soft drinks, tea and water for the night. They were all respecting the fact that she couldn’t drink and Lauren teared up a little.

“Nope… nope… nope none of that,” Shay smiled wiping her eyes. “We’re celebrating sister,” she smiled giving her a hug.

“Shay…. This is… wow… yall went all out,” she smiled hugging her back.

“Only the best for my baby sister,” Kelly smiled giving her a hug.

They had a really great time; she was opening gifts and Will had taken a break from playing to spend time with them. He’d brought Natalie along and she was glad. She hoped he was settling down for good because it would be good for him.

She got tons on school supplies and things for her future classroom. She got a ton of books too. She was just about done opening gifts when Erin walked up. Lauren tensed and Jay wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Congratulations. On everything,” Erin smiled handing her the box.

“Uh… yea thanks,” Lauren said adding the present to the pile.

“No… please. Open it now. You’ll love it.”

Lauren was hesitant. Jay rubbed her back silently telling her he was there. “Ok,” Lauren said reaching for it. She carefully opened it, almost afraid of what it would be. She pulled all the paper off and revealed a 2015 graduation frame. Erin had her initials engraved into one side as well. She also had a gift card to a school store and a #1 teacher bracelet.

“Wow… Erin… this is all so nice. Thank you,” Lauren said with a small smile.

“Of course. I knew it had to be something special for my partner’s wife,” she smiled. Jay barely kept from cringing and rolling his eyes.

“Right… well thank you,” Lauren said adding it to the other gifts.

“I’ll be back,” she whispered in Jay’s ear and then headed to the bathroom. Jay watched her go and kept his eye on the bathroom the whole time. He didn’t want Erin trying to follow her and corner again. Sadly, Erin cornered him.

“So… was my gift good? Did she really like it?”

“I’m sure she did,” he smiled watching for her.

“She’s fine Jay. Just relax.”

He snorted. “Right. The last time I let her go off to the bathroom, she never came back,” he said reminding her of Thanksgiving.

“Well I’m standing in front of you so I can't be in two places at once,” she sarcastically replied. “Besides, I said I wouldn’t do that anymore.”

“And I said I didn’t trust you, and I don’t. Look Erin, I know you’re trying and I appreciate that, but I told you, it wasn’t something that could be fixed overnight.”

“Yea I heard you. But damn Jay. Cut a girl some slack. I’m trying.”

Lauren came walking back up. She was on edge with Erin there. She kept opening her presents trying to ignore her, but Erin watched every gift and commented on every one. Thankfully she was almost done because Jay was worried she was stressing out too much. Once she had all the gifts open, she was wearing out.

Thankfully by the time she was done, Jay had gotten Erin to move on and Lauren relaxed. She laid her head over on his shoulder. “Think we could go home?” she whispered.

“Yea baby of course. You ok?”

“Yea I’m just tired,” she said hiding her yawn.

Jay rubbed her back. “I’ll see if Kelly can bring all this stuff over to the apartment. You wanna go back there or on to the cabin?” There were spending Christmas at the cabin and had planned on leaving from the party and heading up, but if she was tired, he didn’t know if she’d feel like it.

“We can go on,” she smiled.

Jay softly kissed her. “Ok, come on then,” he smiled grabbing her hand. They found Kelly and he told them not to worry about a thing that he would get it to the apartment. He and Shay were coming up on Thursday when Will and Nat would be coming up. They were all going to celebrate Christmas together.

Once they told everyone goodbye, Jay held her hand and they headed out. Erin was watching them from the corner. She didn’t understand what Jay saw with her. She was nothing compared to Erin. She was determined to get her partner back though, even if she had to play nice to do it. Being back with Jay was all that mattered.

 

Lauren fell asleep halfway there. Jay turned the radio on softly for the rest of the drive. When he got there, it was snowing. Lauren was going to get to have a white Christmas for the first time in five years and he was excited to watch her excited. He pulled into the garage and parked. He carried their bags in and set them in the living room before going back out to get her.

He scooped her up and she roused just a little. “I’ve got you love. It’s ok,” Jay whispered carrying her inside. He carried her straight to their bedroom. He sat her down on the bed and undressed her. He slipped his t-shirt over her head and tucked her in. She whimpered and reached for him; Jay sat down and rubbed her cheek. “I’m going to build us a fire, and get our bags and I’ll be back I promise.”

Lauren slowly nodded and he kissed her forehead. Jay went and got their bags from where he’d left them inside the door. Lauren was laying on his pillow half-awake watching for him. “Let me build the fire and I’ll be right there baby,” he smiled.

He saw her nod and he got some wood off the back porch. He got a fire going in their fireplace in their room. He stripped down and crawled in bed with her. Lauren snuggled into him with a soft sigh. She was sound asleep within a few minutes.

The next morning when she woke up she was so excited to see snow. Jay loved seeing her excited. She convinced him to go out and play a little, but they didn’t stay out long. He didn’t want her getting too cold or tired. After they warmed up by the fire and with some homemade hot chocolate that had been his mama’s recipe, they got the decorations out and started decorating the cabin.

Christmas was one of Lauren’s favorite holidays and Jay loved watching her so excited and happy decorating. They went out after lunch and found a live Christmas tree and Lauren couldn’t contain her excitement. She hadn’t had a real tree in over ten years and she loved it. Once Jay had the tree in the stand Lauren started decorating.

He helped her put the star on top and they lit it. Jay wrapped his arms around her belly as they stood back and looked at the tree. The decorations were simple, some even from his mama, and it was so beautiful. Lauren’s eyes were shining in the lights and Jay loved it.

He softly kissed her cheek. “Our first Christmas,” he whispered making her smile big.

“Our first Christmas… and next year we’ll have a little one to celebrate with. Can we come up here every year for Christmas?”

“Of course baby. I think the kids will love it here.”

“I’m sure they will. It’s so peaceful and perfect. I love it,” she smiled. “You bought the perfect cabin Jay.”

He softly kissed her. “I remembered everything we wanted and I found it.”

“I know. We need to finish the basement soon. Finish up their playroom.”

“We will. I’ll see if Will and Kelly will help me. We’ll make it perfect for them.”

“I know,” she smiled softly kissing him. She laid her head on his shoulder. It had been a fun eventful day and she was exhausted. Jay was rubbing her back when they felt a tiny kick. Lauren gasped and Jay looked down at her.

“Did… did you feel that?” she smiled since she’d been right up against him.

Jay was smiling big. “I did. I felt our baby,” he whispered kneeling down in front of her.

He softly kissed her belly. “Hey baby. You like Christmas like mommy huh? Daddy felt you. You’re getting so much bigger and we can't wait to see you again,” he whispered rubbing her stomach. Lauren loved watching this side of him. He was going to be the absolute best father.

They felt another tiny kick and Jay kissed over where they’d felt it. “Our baby,” Lauren whispered wiping her eyes.

“Our baby,” he smiled. He stood up and picked her up. “Let’s get this sleepy mommy to bed,” he grinned and Lauren laid her head on his shoulder. That night she slept snuggled into him.

The next day they stayed in and watched Christmas movies on Hallmark all day. Lauren was enjoying all this time with him, but she knew after Christmas it would end because he would go back to work. So she was going to enjoy every minute of it.

Thursday, Christmas Eve, brought more snow and Lauren loved it. She’d never seen that much snow in one place and it was so beautiful around the lake and cabin. Will, Natalie, Kelly and Shay arrived right after lunch. They all watched movies and played outside a bit. That night, they each got to open one gift before bed. Lauren opened an ornament that had her’s and Jay’s name with ‘Our First Christmas 2015’ inscribed on it. After opening their gifts, Lauren went to their room and skyped her family.

They always did a big Christmas Eve celebration, and even though she wasn’t there, she was going to skype them for a bit. She showed them all the snow and some of the decorations around the cabin. They talked about gifts and how she was feeling. She told them about feeling the baby kick and that she would be glad to see them before long.

Things hadn’t been perfect between them, but since her accident, her mother was trying. She’d kicked Lauren’s step-father out, and was working on herself. She was trying to repair the relationship with her daughter and Lauren was glad.

Before it got too late, Lauren ended the call and crawled into bed with Jay. He was glad that her mom was trying because that was what Lauren wanted. He rubbed her back, and they drifted to sleep.

The next morning, Jay thought she was kidding when she said she always woke early on Christmas, but she wasn’t. She was actually awake before him, and was slightly bouncing in the bed she was so excited.

She went and woke up Kelly and Shay and he woke Will and Natalie. They all opened gifts and then the guys made breakfast, letting the girls fiddle with their gifts. After breakfast, they curled up and watched Christmas movies and talked about their favorite Christmases.

Lauren enjoyed this time with her family, just relaxing in Jay’s arms as they all sat around a cozy living room. Next Christmas they’d have a little one around to play with and enjoy Christmas and she couldn’t wait. She felt a tiny kick and Jay smiled against her neck.

Even though it had been a rocky few weeks with her accident, things were slowly getting back to normal and she was glad. She had her husband, her brother and sister-in-law, and his brother and sister-in-law and a baby that was making his or her presences known; Lauren couldn’t be happier. It was definitely ending up to be a good end to a year that brought many wonderful changes to her life. She couldn’t wait to see what the rest of her life was going to be like with her wonderful man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another update :) I hope you enjoyed it and will let me know what you thought :) The next few chapters are going to be fun, exciting, intense and all around wonderful ;) hope you’ll stick around for the ride :)  
> Up Next: GENDER REVEAL!!!!


	30. Gender Reveal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 30 chapters!!! I never imagined when I started this that it would have thirty chapters, but here we are. I am still loving this so much and I have no idea how many chapters it will have, but I know the next few will be intense and wonderful all at the same time! I was so excited to write this chapter and do the gender reveal :) Hope you enjoy :)  
> To the guest asking about Shay; yes she was a lesbian, but I always thought her and Kelly would be perfect together. Since it’s AU I just went with what I always wanted to see on the show ;)

New Year’s came and went. They stayed in and watched Dick Clark’s Rocking New Year’s Eve like Lauren did every year; Jay didn’t mind one bit. He didn’t want to go out and party since Lauren couldn’t and that was ok with her. She loved just curling up on the couch with him.

Their kiss at midnight was sweet and full of promises for a wonderful year to come. Lauren was beyond excited because the day after New Year’s she was twenty weeks. They were scheduled for an ultrasound on Tuesday and then on Thursday they were going to have a party.

Lauren decided that they would let Will and Natalie, Kelly and Shay plan the gender reveal party and surprise them with everyone else. Kelly was skeptical that Shay would keep it a secret that long, but she swore she would. They started working on everything on Monday, planning the cakes, the food, and how they were going to reveal it.

Lauren wanted them to release balloons out of a box thinking it would be easier than paint or silly string to clean up. Natalie and Shay agreed. They were going to do it at Lauren and Jay’s apartment and Lauren was excited.

 

On Tuesday morning she woke Jay up early. He rolled over and softly kissed her. “Good morning my excited wife.”

Lauren giggled as she felt the baby kick against him. Her belly continued to grow more round with each day it seemed, and Jay loved being able to rub it and feel their baby. He kissed around her belly making her shiver. “Good morning daddy’s baby. We get to see you today and we’re really excited because then we’ll get to give you a name finally.”

Lauren loved listening to him talk to the baby. Ever since they found out, Jay made it a habit to talk to the baby at least once a day. Now that he could feel him or her, he loved doing it more. She tangled her fingers in his hair and rubbed as he softly kissed where he could feel the baby.

“Come on, we’ve got to shower and get ready,” she smiled trying to get up.

“We have time,” he smiled still kissing on her belly.

Lauren tugged on his hair. She loved that he still loved her body even though it was changing so much. Most days her back and breast hurt and even sometimes her stomach where her skin was stretching. Jay would always rub anything down with lotion and took tons of baths with her trying to make her feel better as much as he could.

Lauren loved that he loved taking care of her. Jay was kissing all around her stomach and she wanted to show him how much she loved him. She tugged him up to her and kissed him hard wrapping around him. She heard his soft moan into her kiss and she smiled.

“What do you want Jay?” she whispered nipping at his ear.

Jay pulled back but she’d locked her legs around him so he couldn’t move. He rubbed her cheek as he gazed down at her. He smiled; “Quiero amarte,” he whispered.

Lauren pulled him down and kissed him hard again. “I want to love you too,” she smiled. She rolled her hips but he didn’t move. “Jay….” she moaned.

He smiled as he kissed on her again. She rolled her hips and this time he let them roll. He grabbed her hips and smiled. He leaned up and softly kissed her belly. Lauren moaned throwing her head back. She needed him so bad. He sat up against the headboard and kissed her pulling her hips tight against him.

She tangled her fingers in his hair not letting go. He guided her down on to him and Lauren moaned with the pleasure. “God… Jay…. oh god….”

He guided her up and down as he kissed on the tops of her breasts. “Mi novia (my girl), Mi hermosa esposa (my beautiful wife), Te quiero mucho (I love you so much).”

Lauren tugged on his hair pulling him up to her. She kissed him hard as she thrust down on him a little harder. “I love you so much too,” she panted feeling herself getting closer. Jay moaned as she squeezed him tighter with each thrust.

“Baby…. You… fuck Lauren,” he panted making her smile. She loved that she could make him lose control like this.

She kissed around and nipped at his ear. “You want to come Jay?” she whispered tugging at his hair squeezing him again.

He moaned and arched into her. “You gotta say it,” she whispered kissing and nipping at his neck and ear lobe. She was totally taking control and he was losing it. He loved when she got like this and he needed her so bad.

“Please baby,” he panted squeezing her hips.

“More,” she whispered squeezing him again. Jay arched into her hard and she moaned.

“Lauren….” He moaned.

“Just say it Jay,” she panted feeling like she was going to come anyways as she squeezed him again.

“Fuck baby make me come,” he panted and she smiled. She kissed him hard and thrust up and down on him squeezing him hard each time. Jay took her nipple between his lips and she exploded screaming his name. Her orgasm triggered his and he came with her.

Lauren was panting as she laid her head on his shoulder. He rubbed her back and kissed her forehead over and over. “Damn baby…” he panted making her giggle.

“Just wanted to show you how much I love you,” she whispered.

“I know you do. I love you just as much,” he smiled softly kissing her. They sat like that for a little bit, Lauren laying on him and Jay rubbing her back. “We better shower and get ready,” he whispered.

“Yes we better,” she grinned as they felt a kick and one right after it.

Jay smiled. “I think someone is excited for us to see him or her.”

Lauren laughed “Yea I think so too.”

They showered together and ate breakfast. The baby was active and Lauren loved being able to feel him or her. She wished it was Thursday already because she was dying to know. They got to the office and checked in. It wasn’t long and they were called back.

Lauren laid back on the table and Jay held her hand and rubbed her belly. It wasn’t long and Will and Natalie walked in. “Hey guys,” he smiled.

“Hey brother.”

“Yall ready to see the baby?” Natalie smiled. They both nodded excitedly.

Natalie squirted the gel on her stomach and turned on the ultrasound machine. The baby’s heartbeat filled the room and Lauren sighed softly. It was such a relaxing sound. Natalie performed all the assessments as Lauren and Jay just watched. She wouldn’t let them see because she didn’t want them to be tempted to find out the gender. She pointed something out to Will, but neither seemed worried.

She turned the screen around for a brief moment and let them see their baby. He or she looked cozy and Natalie turned the screen back. She printed out the pictures and handed them to Will. Lauren was excited because she knew that meant Natalie was able to determine the baby’s gender.

“Ok everything is looking good guys. Everyone is healthy and we were able to get the gender for the party,” she smiled.

Jay helped Lauren up and they headed out making her next appointment. Once they were home, they curled up on the couch watching Netflix. Lauren occasionally would look on Pinterest for baby things, but she loved just lying there with Jay. Their baby was growing and Lauren couldn’t wait to meet him or her.

On Thursday afternoon Shay and Natalie came over and started decorating the apartment. Will and Kelly were going to fill the box with balloons and bring them later. They had banners and balloons they put all over the place.

They had a board where everyone could guess what they thought the baby was going to be. Lauren was so excited. They had a big sheet cake; half was iced in pink, the other half in blue. On top it read “Boy or girl?” Lauren loved it.

Jay got home a little after four and smiled seeing the apartment. He found Lauren in the baby’s room rocking. Shay went and got Kelly and told them to bring the box up while they were distracted. They had more than one surprise for the happy couple tonight and they needed to get it hid in the spare room while they were distracted.

It had been really hard for Shay to keep the secret, but she had managed to do it. Kelly stole a quick kiss making Shay lightly smack him and laugh; no one knew yet and she liked keeping it that way. They had everything ready to go.

Everyone arrived around five thirty. Erin was the only one that didn’t come and Lauren was glad. She’d told Jay at work that she already had plans and he told her not to worry about it. He was secretly glad she wasn’t going to be there because that meant Lauren would be relaxed all night. He knew Erin was trying, but he meant it when he said his wife would always come first.

Will and Kelly grilled hamburgers out on the balcony and once everyone was there they ate. They’d all made their guesses on the board too. It seemed to be in favor of a girl, but Lauren just knew it was a boy. After they ate, they cut the cake and had ice cream. She’d been craving something sweet and the cake and ice cream were wonderful.

Once they cleaned up a little, Kelly went and got the box. “Ok are yall ready?” he grinned. Lauren nodded excitedly and Jay wrapped his arms around her belly. He felt a kick and smiled.

“Ok here we go,” Kelly smiled opening the box.

Lauren squealed and jumped up and down. Blue balloons floated out. “It’s a boy!” Shay yelled.

Lauren turned and gave Jay a hug. “A boy,” she smiled kissing him.

“But wait,” Will smiled. Lauren and Jay were confused. “We have another surprise,” Shay smiled grabbing the camera. She’d gotten pictures of them when they’d seen the blue balloons; she was going to make sure to get this on camera too.

Will came out carrying another box. “What’s that?” Jay asked. He’d wrapped his arms back around Lauren as she sank into him just wanting to be close. She was getting her boy that she just knew would look like his daddy and she was so happy.

“Well… Natalie noticed something at the ultrasound. Everything’s ok don’t panic,” he chuckled. “But…. SURPRISE!” Will, Natalie, Kelly, and Shay yelled as pink balloons floated out of the box Will had brought in. “You’re having twins,” he smiled slightly slapping Jay on the back.

They were surprised. “Twins?” he asked as Lauren gazed up at him. They felt two quick kicks against his hands and Lauren looked down at her belly.

“Twins,” she whispered as a smile grew on her lips. “We’re having twins,” she said gazing up at him.

“It’s normal for one of the babies to hide while there is still plenty of room. It’s easy to miss the second heartbeat as well since the baby is hiding behind its sibling. But once they start growing it becomes harder for the second one to hide. Last time I thought you might be having twins because you were measuring big, or that you were farther along than we thought. But today, I saw the two heartbeats on the ultrasound and then two bodies. Luckily they both moved around and we were able to determine the genders,” Natalie smiled handing them their ultrasound pictures.

Lauren and Jay gazed at them. They were going to have two babies, a boy and a girl.

“Twins,” she whispered again as the babies kicked against Jay’s hands some more.

“It’s common for twins to be born prematurely so I just want yall to keep that in mind. I feel sure though all three of you will be fine,” Natalie smiled giving them a hug. She was so glad they had welcomed her into their family as easy as they had, and she was glad to be a part of this with them.

“Congratulations Sis,” Kelly smiled giving her a hug.

Lauren hugged him back. “Oh my gosh Kel. I’m having twins,” she whispered.

Kelly chuckled; “Yes you are, but it’s going to be just fine. You have plenty of people to help out.”

“Yea… yea we do,” she smiled. She grabbed his hand and laid it over where the babies were moving.

He smiled. This was the first time someone other than Jay had felt them. “They’re active.”

Lauren giggled. “I think they are excited to let everyone know.”

Kelly smiled as Shay ran up giving her a hug. “I’m so excited,” she squealed making Lauren laugh. “See all those clothes will come in handy now.”

Lauren laughed. “Yea I guess so. I still can't believe it. Two babies…. One of each.”

Jay smiled and kissed the side of her head. “Guess I’m just that good,” he whispered in her ear making her elbow him with a laugh.

Shay snapped some more pictures of the happy couple. They were mainly candid shots and shots of Jay with his hands on her belly. She was going to make them an album that she knew they would love.

After everyone cleaned up and headed out, Jay and Lauren curled up in bed. She put the ultrasound picture of both of their babies by their bed in a frame. Jay was curled behind her softly rubbing her belly.

“Twins…” she whispered. “We’re having twins; a boy and a girl.”

“We are… it’s amazing,” he whispered.

“I know…” She rolled to face him. “Can we do this?” she whispered.

Jay rubbed her back and softly kissed her. “We can do anything… together,” he smiled.

“Together,” she said returning his smile. She was quiet drawing random patterns on his chest as he rubbed her back. “I’m going to be huge….” She whispered thinking about how she was only halfway and already felt like she’d grown so much.

Jay tipped her chin up to him. “You are going to be beautiful. No matter what you’re beautiful. You’re glowing Lauren and you (kiss) are (kiss) so (kiss) beautiful (kiss) to me (kiss).”

Lauren smiled as she softly kissed him back. “I dunno if you’ll say that when I’m as big as a house waddling around here, but thank you Jay.”

“I’ll say it every day to you. You are beautiful Lauren and I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too,” she whispered softly kissing him. He rubbed her back until she fell asleep. He laid there watching her with a smile. They were having not one, but two babies and he was happy. He knew it probably wouldn’t be easy, but they could do it; they could do anything as long as they were together.

He slid down in bed just a little and softly kissed her belly. “Daddy loves you both so much. Mommy and I are so excited to meet you in about twenty weeks. Stay in there and grow big for me and when the time is right we’ll be here waiting on you. Daddy already has your room set up too. Mommy just has to decide what color to paint it and it’ll be ready. We love you both so much babies.”

He softly kissed on her belly until he fell asleep with his head resting on her belly.

 

On Friday, Jay went to work and Lauren relaxed at home. She was expecting to get her test results today. She’d taken the Illinois state test for her license on Monday, and they told her to expect her results by Friday. She laid on the couch watching TV and talking to the babies. She still couldn’t believe they were really having twins.

She was looking at different nurseries on Pinterest trying to decide how to paint the room. She figured for now, they could get away with the one crib. The babies would probably like sleeping together after being so close for nine months. Once they got a little older she knew they would need another one. She decided on a pale yellow for the walls and brown and light blue and brown and light pink for decorations.

She was going to make canvases with their names and birth info to hang on the walls as well. She was so excited to get their room all decorated and ready for them. She knew she wouldn’t be able to help him paint, but she was still super excited.

After lunch, she got the email she’d been waiting on. She was nervous to open it because it would determine her future. She took a deep breath and opened it. She squealed with happiness seeing she’d passed. She was now a licensed Illinois teacher as well.

She called Jay with the good news. He was so proud of her and told her they would go out that night to celebrate. She spent the rest of the afternoon filling out applications. She knew in the middle of the year that she would probably only get a substitute position, unless she was lucky enough to land a maternity leave, but she would take what she could get it. It was a foot in the door either way.

She was beyond happy. She had her husband, two babies, and the possibility of a job. They had a lot to celebrate that night and she was excited for what the future held.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they’re having twins!!! :) This chapter was so fun to write and I hope you enjoyed it :)   
> Up Next: Valentines & Spring Break (I’m doing mini time jumps to move along her pregnancy ;))


	31. Valentine's/Spring Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s shorter than the other ones lately, but I promise what is coming next will make up for it :) Enjoy! :)

The rest of January passed by quickly. Lauren got a substitute positon at one of the elementary schools, and Jay returned to work. Lauren had been skeptical of him trying to rebuild the trust with Erin and be partners again, but she trusted him.

Valentine’s Day was coming up, and Jay was planning a big surprise for her. Lauren knew he was up to something, but she just wasn’t sure what. She’d tried getting hints out of him of what they would be doing, but he wouldn’t budge.

He ended up taking her to the cabin for the whole weekend. It had snowed again and they stayed curled up inside most of the weekend in front of the fireplace watching movies and talking. They talked about everything, but especially names for their twins. Lauren was still in awe that she really was carrying not one but two babies.

On Saturday night, Jay made her a romantic dinner by candle light in the living room. He had soft music playing and a dozen of roses on the table. Lauren wore a red strapless maternity dress; Jay was blown away by her beauty. She was truly glowing. They had dinner, and then danced.

He played her favorite love songs; _H.O.L.Y_ by Florida Georgia Line and _From the Ground Up_ by Dan and Shay and they danced in front of the fire. He gave her charms for her bracelet. One was for teaching, one said mom to twins, and the other two were their birthstones with the promise to get the twins birthstone when they arrived. It was the best Valentine’s weekend she’d ever had.

 

Two weeks after Valentine’s Intelligence caught a big case. They were trying to prevent a gang war when a body had turned up at the beginning of the week. They were working as much as possible to try and solve it and Lauren missed the time she’d had with Jay, but she understood.

Ever since right before Christmas, Erin had been trying to get back into his good graces so they could be partners again. She did everything by the book, everything she thought he would do. Jay had noticed how well she’d been working with her partners each case. He knew she was striving to get him back as her permanent partner.

When they’d caught a small lead for this case on Tuesday, he agreed to a trial run to see if they could work together again. Voight agreed to it and sent them out to check out the lead. Erin even let him drive. Conversation was kept to the case and what the other thought about it. Their lead ended up being a dead end, but Jay agreed to finish working the case with her.

They seemed to work well the rest of the week. Erin said and did all the right things and it was almost like when they first became partners. She asked how Lauren and the babies were doing and she told him a lot that he looked really happy. He told her he really was, that Lauren made him really happy. Erin told him she was happy for him. Erin knew she had earned his trust back, she just had to get him to admit it. This had been the best week ever working with him again. She knew she had him right where she wanted him.

On Friday, they’d caught a solid lead on their suspect. They rolled up to the scene and Voight dished out orders. Jay and Erin were taking the back and working their way towards the others. Erin was behind him and they were clearing rooms, hearing the others do the same. Jay was going to be super pissed if this lead turned out to be a dead end as well because he was getting sick of all this overtime.

It was great because he’d started putting some back to take off when the babies were born, but damn he missed being home with his wife. They came to the last room before meeting up with the others. Jay was looking one way; Erin the other. Just before he would’ve walked right into the guy who was hiding in the corner, Erin yelled his name.

Jay ducked ready to fight and heard Erin fire. Before he could back up, the guy dropped. Jay was breathing hard. That had been too close; all he could think about was what would’ve happened if Erin hadn’t been there. He might not be going home to Lauren tonight and that was just not possible.

Erin checked for the guy’s pulse and didn’t find one. She radioed to the team that their suspect was dead. She put her hand on Jay’s shoulder and squeezed. “You ok?”

He nodded. “Yea. Thanks. That was… That could’ve been bad.”

She gave his shoulder another squeeze. “Yea, but it wasn’t and that’s all you can focus on. That’s why you have backup,” she smiled.

Jay nodded as the rest of the team gathered. They finished up at the crime scene and headed back. Before Jay headed home, he knocked on Voight’s door.

“Yea?” Hank asked as Jay walked in.

“I just wanted you to know that Erin and I can go back to being partners. We’ve worked out our differences and I think it’ll be fine.”

“Good to hear,” Hank smiled.

Jay nodded. “Good night Sarge.”

Jay headed out and home to Lauren. He wasn’t sure how she’d react to his news, but he knew she trusted him. She was curled up on the couch waiting on him. “Hey babe,” she smiled.

“Hey,” he said walking over and softly kissing her.

“I kept supper warm,” she whispered rubbing his cheek.

He smiled and softly kissed her again. “Thanks baby.”

“You ok Jay?”

“Yea… yea… it’s just been a long week. But it’s over now. The case ended today.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him down on the couch beside her. She repositioned when he laid his head on her shoulder and his hand on her belly. He softly rubbed and she ran her fingers through his hair.

“What is it babe?” she whispered sensing something more happened.

“It was close today…. If it wasn’t for Erin, you would’ve met me at Med….” He heard her soft gasp as her fingers stilled before returning to rubbing his head. “The guy…. He was hiding in the corner with a knife and I didn’t see him…. Erin yelled and shot just as he lunged. She killed him and I was safe.”

Lauren kissed his head and held him on her shoulder. She couldn’t think about losing him… she just couldn’t or she would break. Jay sat up and pulled her into his lap feeling the babies kick. “It’s ok. I’m here Lauren,” he whispered.

“I know. I’m glad too… I can't do this without you,” she whispered holding on to him tight.

“You don’t have to love. I’m here,” he rubbed her back and kissed her forehead.

They sat like that for the longest, just holding each other thankful that he came home that night. “I… I told Voight that I could be partners with her again. I know you don’t exactly trust her, but she’s proven herself all this time and then today….”

Lauren was quiet. She really didn’t trust her, but she trusted Jay and if he thought it was ok to be partners with her again, than she would support him. “Ok babe,” she said quietly kissing his cheek. “As long as you come home to me every night from work that’s all I need. I just need you Jay.”

“I know baby. I know. I need you just as much. I’m always going to be here. Always,” he smiled.

Lauren softly kissed him. “Let me go get your supper,” she smiled getting up. That night and weekend they stayed wrapped in each other just glad to have this time with one another.

 

The next week passed by in a blur. Jay and Erin had been partnered together and things were going smoothly. Starting on the twelfth of March Lauren was on Spring Break. They had decided to go to Tennessee for a few days to visit her family since they had not been there since her graduation.

Her family was really excited to see her, and Lauren was mostly excited to see them too. Her mom had come a long way since her graduation and she was glad. They drove down on Sunday and agreed to stay at her mom’s.

Things were super different without Michael around, and Lauren was glad they came for a visit. On Monday, her family gave them a baby shower for the twins. They got tons of diapers and wipes and outfits. Her mom had bought them two car seat/carriers and her grandparents got them a double stroller. They were beyond grateful for all the gifts.

They had a great time; on Tuesday they went to Chattanooga and up on Lookout Mountain to Rock City. The view from the top of the mountain was unbelievable. That night they had a dinner with her mother. It was nice and pleasant and her mom was making a real effort to get to know Jay. Lauren couldn’t be happier.

On Wednesday, they headed back to Chicago. They were going to spend the rest of the week working on the playroom at the cabin. Will and Kelly both were off and had agreed to help Jay finish it up. So all three couples went to the cabin Wednesday night.

The girls relaxed during the day, watching TV, talking about the babies and work, while the guys finished up the playroom. Once the playroom was done, they worked on one of the spare rooms making it a nursery as well. Since Lauren loved spending time at the cabin, Jay wanted to make sure they had a room for the babies for whenever they came up.

Overall, it had been a really good and relaxing week. Lauren loved all the time she’d gotten to spend with their family throughout the week. She absolutely loved the playroom and knew the kids would too. Half was all princess, dolls and girly and the other half was sports, cars, and boyish. She smiled. Her kids were super lucky to have such an involved dad like Jay.

She knew come Monday he’d go back to work, but she knew that no matter what she trusted him and knew he loved her and their babies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet. :) I promise the next two, maybe three chapters will make up for the shortness of this chapter so be looking for them soon :) Please let me know what you thought :)


	32. Kidnapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks to Firstamamawifeafriend for the help and inspiration with this chapter :) It’s a long one so hope you enjoy ;)

Jay and Erin had been partnered back together for two weeks. Jay had just gotten back from a week off and they were starting their third week as partners. Jay didn’t think anything of it, Erin just being another partner to him. He’d work all day and then go home and curl up with Lauren, taking care of her. She was now thirty one weeks pregnant with the twins, and he knew each day she was becoming more and more uncomfortable.

Erin, on the other hand, was extremely frustrated with her partner. She thought becoming partners again that they would go back to how things were before Jay had gotten married. She thought it would take a few weeks before they were back to how they were before last summer when Lauren came back, but she’d honestly thought they could get back there.

Now, she wasn’t so sure. She still loved Jay more than anything, and she knew she was a better fit for him. She was a detective just like him. She understood his life better than anyone, she just needed him to see that. She was so tired of Jay ignoring her outside of work. She wanted him; she needed him. There was only one way for Jay to see that she was better for him than Lauren, and that was to make Lauren disappear for good.

 

It was Friday morning and Lauren was so glad it was the weekend. Tomorrow she would be thirty two weeks, and she was looking forward to having Jay home all weekend to help her do things. She had subbed all week, but today she was off and she was so glad. The babies had been kicking up a storm last night, and she’d barely slept any. She knew they needed to stay in at least four more weeks, but she was so ready for them to be there already. She felt like she was running out of room already, and she wasn’t sure how much more she could take.

She sighed as she rolled on her side on the couch. The babies seemed to settle as long as she was on her side. She rested her hand on her protruding stomach. “Mommy loves you two a whole bunch, but she’d like some rest,” she chuckled as she rubbed her belly hoping the babies would settle down and sleep for a bit.

Just as she got comfortable and was almost asleep, there was a knock at the door. She couldn’t help but groan. ‘ _Who in the world could that be, ´_ she thought knowing she hadn’t invited anyone over. She groaned when she saw Erin standing there. She still wasn’t comfortable with her; sure she’d been extremely nice since before Christmas, and she was Jay’s partner again, but Lauren still didn’t like her.

Lauren tried to suppress her annoyance thinking it had something to do with Jay since he wasn’t with her, and she opened the door. “Erin?” she asked.

“Hey. How are you feeling?” Erin asked happily with a smile.

Lauren bit back her sarcastic remark. “Fine. Thanks. Is Jay ok? Do you need something?”

“Oh, Jay’s fine honey, don’t worry. I just came over to take you out for a spa day to relax. I’m sure the babies are wearing you out all ready,” she smiled.

Lauren just looked at her really skeptical. She was not feeling a spa day; she was feeling the bed or couch and several hours of sleep.

“Oh come on; it’ll be fun and relaxing. I found the perfect one that specializes in pregnancy massages and relaxation for mommy to be,” she laughed.

Lauren sighed. “Ok, just let me use the bathroom and call Jay.”

“Oh, Jay knows. I told him all about it this morning at the district before I came to get you. He thought it was a wonderful idea and would be relaxing for you.”

Lauren was skeptical, but she knew that Jay had said Erin was trying, so she gave in. “Ok, just let me use the bathroom and I’ll be ready.”

Erin nodded and watched her go. Her plan was already working perfectly. She waited on Lauren and saw her phone on the coffee table by the couch; ‘ _Perfect,’_ she thought as she ran over and grabbed it. She successfully disabled the gps having seen Mouse do it multiple times.

She laid the phone back where it was and waited by the door. “You ok?” she called hearing Lauren groan.

“Yea, yea I’m coming,” Lauren called back. She really just wanted to sleep, but for Jay she’d try. She grabbed her purse and phone and followed Erin out to her car. Erin talked the whole time and it was starting to get on Lauren’s nerves.

“How far away is it?” she asked Erin again.

“Oh not too much farther,” Erin smiled. “Water?” she asked.

“Yea thanks,” Lauren said drinking it. It wasn’t long and she was feeling sleepier than normal.

“Erin? Are you sure we’re almost there?” she whispered barely keeping her eyes open.

“Yes. You just rest; it’s not too much further.”

Lauren sighed. Her hands were resting on her belly and she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer. She was out. Erin glanced over and smiled. “Victory is mine,” she whispered turning Lauren’s phone off and slipping it into her pocket.

 

Back at the station, Jay had no idea where Erin had disappeared to and she wasn’t answering calls or texts. Hank was getting pissed, but Jay didn’t have the answers for him. Lauren had stopped answering his texts too. He figured she was probably just sleeping. He knew she hadn’t slept much last night. He was ready to just get home and relax with her all weekend.

Erin showed back up about two hours after she’d left. “Where were you? Voight is pissed,” Jay hissed catching her in the break room.

“I had to run an errand,” she smiled.

“Whatever,” Jay said rolling his eyes. He was in no mood for her games. Erin smiled wickedly; ‘ _If only he knew… he’ll be thanking me later,’_ she thought.

It had been almost four hours since Jay had heard from Lauren and he was starting to get a little worried. He knew she hadn’t been sleeping good, so he was hoping she was just resting, but when he tried calling her it went straight to voicemail. ‘ _Odd,’_ he thought.

He called Kelly. “Hey have you heard from Lauren?”

“No. Why?”

“Just a feeling. I dunno. She didn’t sleep good last night so maybe she’s just sleeping. I haven’t heard from her in like over four hours and when I tried calling her it went to voicemail.”

“That’s weird. She never turns her phone off.”

“I know. Hey can you just run by and check on her?”

“Yea of course. We’ll load up and head over,” Kelly said motioning for Squad to load up.

“Thanks Kel.”

“Of course,” Kelly said hanging up. He figured she was probably just sleeping, but Jay was right; it was odd that her phone was going straight to voicemail. They pulled up outside the apartment and he told his guys he’d be right back. He jogged up the stairs and knocked on the door.

It sounded quiet in there; “Lauren?” he called knocking louder. He still didn’t get a response. He dug out his keys and found the one he’d marked for their apartment. Jay had given him a spare in January so Kelly could come check on her whenever Jay was at work.

He opened the door and called out for her again, still hearing nothing. He noticed her phone was lying right inside the door. That was super odd. He couldn’t tell if it was on or off, but he didn’t touch it. “Lauren?!” he called more desperate this time. He started searching the apartment and couldn’t find her.

“Fuck!” he screamed grabbing his phone and calling Jay.

“Hey. So was she sleeping?” Jay asked with a laugh when he answered.

“You need to get over here now. I think something’s happened Jay. Her phone…. Her phone’s right inside the door and she’s not here. I didn’t touch anything but the door handles, but she’s not here,” Kelly said with panic.

“Don’t leave! I’m on my way,” Jay said grabbing his jacket and running to Voight’s office. Someone had to have taken her because she wouldn’t just leave. He knew that for sure.

“Sarge… something’s wrong. Lauren’s missing.”

“Whoa… whoa. Slow down kid and tell me what’s wrong.”

“She’s gone damn it! She’s not at home, she’s not answering her phone. It’s at our place and she’s not there! She wouldn’t just leave! Someone has her!”

Jay was panicking. If anything happened to her or the babies he was done. They were his everything and without them, he was nothing. Hank laid a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. “It’s going to be ok kid. We will find her, I swear.”

Jay nodded and sucked in some much needed air. “Let’s go,” Hank said nodding towards the door. Jay sprinted down the stairs not waiting as Hank told everyone to roll out. He was already upstairs with Kelly when the team rolled up. Erin came running up first calling for him.

“Jay?”

“What?” he snapped looking the apartment over.

“Are you ok? What can I do?” she asked tentatively trying to rub his back to calm him.

Jay shrugged away from her. “No I’m not ok! My wife and unborn twins are missing damn it! Do you really think I’m ok?!!!”

Erin tried not flinch; she knew he was upset now, but in the end he would see it was for the best. “I’m just trying to help. I’m sure she’s fine,” she smiled.

Jay just looked at her and kept looking every little thing over trying to find a clue as to what happened. Crime Scene dusted the phone for prints and then turned it over to Intelligence. Hank looked at Ruzek; “Get this to Mouse now. Whatever he can pull, whatever he has to do, I don’t want to know about, just tell him to do it.” Adam nodded and headed back to the district with the phone.

Hank called Boden and told him what was going on and that Kelly needed to be pulled off shift. He totally understood and told Hank if they could help in any way to let him know and they would. He also sent Shay their way so that she could be there for Kelly. No one knew it, but they had been together since right before Christmas. They suspected, but they hadn’t confirmed it yet.

Kelly was sitting on the couch with his hands in his hair, trying to figure out who would’ve taken her or where she would’ve gone. He was drawing a blank. Shay ran up the stairs and found them in the apartment. She sat down by Kelly wrapping her arms around him.

“Hey, I’m here,” she whispered. Kelly laid his head on her shoulder.

“Who would do this?” he whispered watching Jay pacing.

“I don’t know Kel. But we will find her and whoever did it.”

Kelly nodded. No one had called him for ransom and no one had called Jay. They were both on edge and knew they wouldn’t be sleeping until they found her.

 

Across town Lauren was slowly waking up. She tried to move and realized her arms were tied and there was something tied over her mouth. She was scared…. Really, really scared. She didn’t know where she was and she couldn’t move her arms. Her arms hurt and she felt the babies moving.

They weren’t kicking like they had been, but she could feel them moving positions a little. She looked around and realized she was in a place that was either under construction or was really run down. She tried to find a window to see what time of day it was because the house was dark. She was starting to get cold, so she realized it must be night. It was spring, but Chicago springs could still be chilly.

She wanted Jay; she wanted her bed. She wanted out of wherever this place was. She tried crying out, but the cloth on her mouth muffled it. She tried kicking and clawing at the rope, but it just made her hurt. She started crying. She was stuck and scared. She eventually wore herself out from crying and fighting her ropes. She just prayed Jay would find her and that the babies would be ok.

 

Friday night turned into Saturday and they still didn’t have any leads. Jay was worried sick, almost literally, that he couldn’t find her. The team was working everything they could think, and Mouse had worked nonstop on her phone.

Erin had been talking to CIs and trying to work anything she could to “help” Jay. Everything she tried was a dead end; all her ideas were fruitless. Jay was getting fed up. She seemed to be trying to be as helpful as possible, but she wasn’t helping at all. He went down and checked in with Mouse, who had finally cracked all her security and was running reports. He told Jay that whoever had taken her, had disabled her gps.

Jay turned and threw his bottle of water against the cage as Erin walked down. “Damn it!” he screamed. Mouse was really concerned about his best friend, but her last messages and gps report were coming in at that moment.

Erin walked up to Jay and grabbed his arm. “I’m sure she’s fine Jay. Do you really think someone took her? Maybe she decided Chicago wasn’t for her and went back to Tennessee?”

Jay looked ready to kill her. “I’m just thinking out loud. It could be a possibility.”

Jay shrugged out of her hold. “Fuck you Erin. She wouldn’t just leave. We were happy. The babies will be here soon, and unlike you, she doesn’t just leave when things get too hard! She knows how to talk about things and work them out!”

Erin flinched. She knew he was hurting and just taking it out on her so she could forgive him. “Jay… I just… I was trying to help.”

“You know… you never have liked her! Maybe all this niceness is just a ploy to distract me?! Did you take her?! Huh? Did you?! You’ve been too nice lately, so what the hell did you do?!” he screamed at her. His brain was working overtime and he needed answers now.

Erin backed away. “You’re hurting and trying to take it out on me so I will forgive this, but how dare you Jay. I’m your partner; I’ve only ever had your back and looked out for you.”

“Whatever,” he said as he walked away. He walked back in and sat down by Mouse. He had a sinking feeling her phone wasn’t going to give them any clues.

Mouse eyed Jay from the side. He was pale and Mouse knew he hadn’t slept, but he also knew he probably wasn’t going to get him to either. “She’s up to something,” Jay mumbled.

“Who? Erin?”

“Yea. She’s been too nice lately. I thought it was because she was just trying to be my partner again, but something’s fishy. She’s been too helpful with this too, but all her ‘help’ is one dead end after another.”

Mouse sighed. “I don’t know buddy. I told you at Christmas something was up, but you told me it was fine.”

“Yea, yea I know,” Jay said not needing to be reminded of that conversation.

“Alright so here’s what I found,” Mouse started trying to distract him for a bit. “Her gps was manually disabled at eleven thirty Friday morning. Before that, she’d been at the apartment all morning.”

Jay sighed. “She wouldn’t know how to manually disable the gps; even if she did, she had no reason too.”

“I know. I thought the same thing. There are no suspicious messages or phone calls either. Nothing but texts to you and Kelly and Shay. Now here’s the interesting thing. Her phone was on for about another forty-five minutes after the gps was disabled and then it was turned off. So whoever did it, didn’t want Lauren thinking anything was up with the phone. That tells me whoever took her, Lauren knew them.”

“Fuck,” Jay whispered losing another shade of color. Mouse was watching him.

“Jay?” he asked as Jay jumped up and ran out the back door where he was sick. Mouse followed him and barely kept him upright.

“Alright I let this go too long. You’re going home and to bed.”

“No!” Jay tried to growl, but was too sick. The thought of his girl and babies out there somewhere, possibly hurt and definitely scared was making him so sick. He needed to find her; he couldn’t live without her.

“Yes, you are and I’m calling Will,” Mouse said holding his best friend up as he got his phone to call Will. Jay had started crying as all these thoughts of what she was going through raced through his mind. He was sick another time, Mouse being on the phone with Will who heard him.

Will told Mouse he was on his way to get him and Mouse hung up. “Come on buddy. It’s ok. She’s strong; she loves you; we are going to find her. I swear we will. We found Hollingsworth didn’t we? We have even less resources than we do now. We will find her Jay.”

Jay was crying hard on Mouse’s shoulder. “She’s out there somewhere scared and alone and who knows what else they’ve done to her. I just need her Mouse…. I need her and the babies so bad…. If anything….. If anything happens to them…. Oh god,” he sobbed sinking to the ground.

Mouse sat down and held him. “I know… I know…. But we are going to find her. We will. And no matter what you’ll get her through it. She wouldn’t just leave you Jay. Of that I’m sure. So we will find her.”

Jay cried hard. He needed his girl to be ok. Will walked up the steps to Intelligence about fifteen minutes later. He asked Hank where Jay was and he shrugged. He hadn’t seen the kid in about an hour assuming he’d finally gone to rest. Erin nodded to the back steps; “He was down with Mouse earlier.”

She still couldn’t believe what he’d said to her. If he found out she’d taken Lauren, he would probably kill her. She needed to move Lauren soon so that they never found her. Then, she could be the one to be there for Jay and get him through the grief and they could finally be together.

Will nodded his thanks. “I’m making him stay home tomorrow. Mouse said he was sick and he needs the rest.”

Hank nodded. “I understand. Take care of him and we’ll find her.”

Will nodded and headed down the back stairs. He called out for Mouse not seeing them. “Out here,” Mouse called back.

Will walked out and saw Jay slumped against Mouse. He knelt down in front of him. “Hey buddy, I’m here,” he said rubbing his head.

Jay looked at him with tear filled eyes. “I need her Will…. She has to be ok…. She has to be,” he sobbed.

Will pulled him to him and rubbed his head. “I know buddy. I know. They’re going to find her and it’s going to be ok. Come on… let’s get you home.”

“I can't…. I can't… I have to find her,” he cried trying to pull away from Will.

“They will. You’ll know it as soon as they do. You need to get home and sleep and rest. You’re already sick and you’ll be no good to her when they find her if you’re sick. You’ve got to rest.”

Jay cried but didn’t argue as Will pulled him up. “I’m gonna come with yall. Just let me get my stuff,” Mouse said. He knew Will would take care of his brother, but he needed to be there for his best friend too. Everything he could do at the district he could do at Jay’s.

Will left Jay with Mouse and went around front and got his car. He knew that Jay wouldn’t want the team seeing him like this, so he just drove around back. He crawled in the back seat and laid down. He was almost asleep when they got back to the apartment.

Will managed to get him out and upstairs. He got him into bed and Jay pleaded with him to stay. So he did; he couldn’t deny his little brother anything when he was going through so much. He laid down by him; Jay had curled up on her pillow still softly crying.

Will rubbed his head as he watched him. He prayed they found Lauren and soon. Stress was the last thing she needed right now because it could send her into early labor. Without a hospital, the twins might not survive and she might not either. He knew if that happened, Jay would be gone too. He sighed as he felt Jay drift off. He prayed he’d get some sleep.

 

The team worked through the night trying to find her. The next morning, Erin begged Hank to let her work from her apartment so she could get a few hours of sleep. He reluctantly agreed, but told her to call in every few hours and check in. He let everyone else go get a few hours of sleep too. They were all back at by nine, except for Erin who was staying home to ‘work.’

Jay had managed to sleep for about nine hours before a night mare woke him. He jerked awake calling for her, before he remembered. He bit back the tears and got up so he wouldn’t bother Will. He walked out into the living room and saw Mouse. “What…. What are you doing?” he asked sitting down on the couch by him.

“Working. I took what you said to Erin, and before you start, I know she’s your partner and you were just mad, but I wanted to check some things.”

Jay sighed. “You really think she did this Mouse?”

“I wasn’t sure…. Then I remembered Erin disappeared for a couple of hours on Friday. Remember?”

Jay nodded as his brain started working overtime again with different scenarios.

“So I hacked her phone. I went back and started tracing her day. Jay… she was here, at your apartment at eleven eighteen Friday morning. She left at eleven thirty-five. She drove around the city, and went to this address. She was there for about forty minutes before she came back here. She wasn’t here but like ten minutes before she came back to the district.”

“Mother fucker!” Jay screamed. “What the hell was she doing here?”

“That I don’t know, but…. With Lauren’s gps being disabled five minutes before Erin left, I think she had something to do with it,” Mouse said quietly. “The amount of time she drove around the city matches how long Lauren’s phone was on after the gps was disabled too.”

“Has she been back to that address?” Jay asked pacing.

“No,” Mouse whispered.

Jay paled. “That… that means…. If… if she did this… and she took… took her there, she’s left her with nothing for… almost…. Almost forty-eight hours,” Jay said running to the spare bathroom where he was sick again.

Will had heard his screams and woke up. He’d caught the end of the conversation too and followed his brother. He held a wash cloth to his head as Jay dry heaved because he hadn’t eaten or drunk anything.

“I got you little brother. It’s ok,” Will whispered rubbing his back as tears poured down Jay’s cheeks.

“I’ve got to go…. I’ve got to find her,” he said trying to push Will off him.

“No. You call your team and do this right. If this is where she is, you’ve got to do it right.”

Jay slumped back against him. “I… trusted her again. I told Lauren she was trying. I swear to God I’ll kill her if she hurt them. I will,” he said the anger returning.

“I know… I know… Come on,” he said pulling Jay up.

He got Jay on the couch and looked at Mouse. “Call Hank and tell him everything you found. We’ll head to the district.”

Mouse nodded. This was not going to be an easy conversation or a conversation he was going to enjoy having. He gathered up all his stuff as Jay got dressed. They got in the car and headed to the district, Mouse calling Hank on the way.

Jay walked straight into Hank’s office without speaking to anyone. He was anger was boiling and he was dying to find his wife. “Where is she?!”

“She wanted to work from home and I let her. Jay…. are you really thinking your partner did this? You were the one who said it was ok to be partners again. I thought that meant you trusted her again.”

“Damn it Voight I did! She said all the right things, did all the right things. I thought she was over her obsession with me! But my wife and my unborn twins are missing! They’ve been missing for forty-eight hours now and this is the only fucking lead we have. Everything else has turned up a dead end! Especially any idea she’s thrown out. She had the nerve to ask me last night if she’d just up and go to Tennessee!!!! So you tell me, ignoring the fact that this is your would-be- daughter, if this was just another damn case that crossed your desk, would you not assume she was the suspect?!”

Hank sighed. Jay had a very damn good point, he just prayed he was wrong. Because if he wasn’t, than Erin had crossed a major line and he wasn’t sure he would be able to protect her anymore.

“Alright fine. I’ll call her.”

“Thank you,” Jay said sitting down in Hank’s office to hear this conversation. Hank called but Erin didn’t answer. Jay tried, again she didn’t answer. He was furious.

“Look, we’ll suit up and go check out the address. Do a knock and talk. It’s probably all coincidence,” Hank said praying he was right.

“You better hope so,” Jay said jumping up and going straight downstairs to suit up. He insisted Mouse was riding with him, and Hank agreed. Maybe if Mouse was with him, he’d keep his cool.

On the drive over, Jay was tense. “Track Erin’s phone. There’s a reason she’s not answering.”

Mouse was already on it. “Her phone at least is at her apartment.”

Jay sighed. He’d been hoping she was out somewhere and they could catch her. When they rolled up, it was a foreclosed house. He sighed. “Why the fuck would she have spent forty minutes here, unless she brought her here.”

Mouse nodded but kept quiet. They got out and Jay beat on the door. They didn’t hear anything as the team rolled up. He tried again, but again didn’t hear anything. They spread out and looked around, but it didn’t appear anyone had been here for a long time. They talked to the few people across the street, but of course they hadn’t seen anything.

Almost all the houses on the block were run down and foreclosed on. Jay tried calling Erin again, but still no answer. The house was quiet, and there wasn’t any evidence she’d been there or that Lauren was there.

“Damn it!” Jay screamed kicking the tires.

Hank walked up to Mouse; “Get him home, and both of you rest,” he whispered. Mouse got the message to quit digging on Erin and he just nodded. He got Jay in the car and they headed back for the apartment. Jay just had a sinking feeling they were on the right track and totally just blew it.

“I don’t give a damn what he told you. I’m telling you Mouse she had something to do with it. She had no fucking reason to be here on Friday, none!”

“I know buddy, I know. What do you want to do?”

“I want you to keep an eye on her phone and if she moves, we’re going to follow her. Fuck Hank. I’m finding my wife.”

Mouse nodded as he settled on the couch with his computer. Will had gone to Med for his shift and Jay wandered around the apartment. He ended up in the twins’ room, in the rocker. He rocked thinking about the future he wanted with them and Lauren. All he could think about was them and that he had to find them. Everything was ready for them, and he wouldn’t let them down. He would find them, one way or another.

 

Lauren had been in and out of conscious since Saturday night. She knew it was night again, but she’d lost track of the days. Her wrists hurt so bad from the rope burns and cuts. She was starving and thirty. She was in so much pain and she was afraid she was going into labor. She’d been cramping something awful.

She knew if she went into labor, she and the babies probably wouldn’t make it. She cried at the thoughts because she wanted the life with Jay. She’d been so happy, and they were anxiously awaiting for the twins to get here. They were going to have a good life with them, but she’d been stupid and trusted Erin.

Now not only was her own life in danger, but so were her babies. ‘ _Mommy is so sorry,’_ she thought trying to tell the babies. She’d never forgive herself if they didn’t make it and she did; at this point though she wasn’t even sure she would make it. _‘I’m sorry Jay…. I’m sorry,’_ she thought as she drifted out again.

 

It was just before six Sunday night when Mouse yelled for Jay. Erin’s phone was moving. Jay grabbed his keys and they headed out. Mouse was telling him where to go as he kept his eyes on the tracker.

Jay was trying not to drive like a crazy person. They got closer to her and he backed off not wanting to tip her off that she was being followed. If she led him to Lauren, he was going to be thrilled but he was going to kill her. Mouse told him to slow down that she was stopping.

They waited and Mouse gave him a look. “She’s back at that house; the foreclosed one.”

“Fuck!” Jay said punching the steering wheel and speeding there. He boxed her car in and jumped out. The door was still locked and he kicked it in. “ERIN!” he yelled. He heard someone moving and then whimpering.

“ERIN! I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” he screamed running up the stairs.

Mouse called Hank and told him what he knew. He sprinted after Jay knowing he was going to lose it.

When he got upstairs Lauren was tied to a wall with a cloth over her mouth. He could see cuts and bruises on her wrists. Her eyes were barely open, and even though she looked at him, he knew she didn’t really see him. Erin was in the corner. “What the fuck Erin?! Why the hell did you do this?!!! You almost killed her you bitch!” he screamed walking towards her.

“I love you Jay. I wanted you to see we are a better fit. I fit in with your life; we belong together.”

“I’ve told you!!! I DON’T LOVE YOU!!! I’M MARRIED! I’M HAPPY! I TRUSTED YOU AGAIN!! WE WERE PARTNERS! HOW COULD YOU??!!!!!”

“You needed to see you belong with me and not that bitch. She doesn’t deserve you; I do, and you needed to see that!”

“FUCK YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!! YOU ALMOST KILLED MY WIFE AND BABIES ALL FOR SELFISH REASONS! THAT’S NOT A PARTNER, THAT’S A FUCKING BITCH AND I HOPE I NEVER EVER EVER SEE YOU AGAIN!!!” he screamed raising his hand. Just before he hit her, Mouse grabbed his arm.

“Halstead! Enough! Your wife…. Go,” he yelled shoving Jay towards Lauren.

Jay took a deep breath and ran over to her. He wrapped his arm around her, and cut the ropes and pulled the cloth from her mouth. “I’m here…. I’m here… I’m sorry baby. I’m sorry,” he cried as she slumped against him. “Call Kelly and Shay and Will and Nat. I’m taking her now!” he said to Mouse. He got a nod in return and scooped her up.

She whimpered but that was it. Jay was praying he found them in time as he laid her down in the car. He flipped his lights on and sped off for Med. “Hang on Lauren. Just hang on baby please,” he begged the whole way.

She’d slipped back into unconsciousness and he was panicking. He flew into Med about twenty minutes later and Will and Natalie were waiting. Kelly and Shay were already in the waiting room. Jay laid her on the gunnery and Will and Natalie started their assessments. Jay followed them until Will stopped him right outside the trauma bay.

“No! Go wait. Let us work and I’ll come get you.”

Jay started to argue with him, but Will stopped him. “I’m not kidding Jay. You can't be in here. Let us work on her and I’ll come get you as soon as I can,” he said shoving Jay back and closing the door.   


Jay was breaking as Kelly and Shay walked up. “Come on… she’s going to be ok. She’s strong, a fighter, she’ll be ok,” Shay said giving him a tight hug. He let Kelly and Shay take him to the waiting room although he couldn’t sit still. He needed to know how they were. Were the babies ok? Was Lauren ok? All these thoughts wouldn’t leave him alone and it was driving him crazy.

Mouse showed up about thirty minutes later. Antonio, Adam, and Kevin were with him. “She better not be with you!” Jay growled. They all held their hands up showing they meant no harm.

“She’s not brother. Hank and Al have her at the district,” Antonio said quietly giving him a man hug. “We wanted to be here for you and Lauren. We’re here for you,” he said as the others nodded their agreement.

Jay let out a breath and nodded. “I’ve got to make a phone call. I won't be far,” he said nodding towards the door right outside the waiting room.

He called Hank. “Jay?” Hank answered.

“Let me make myself very clear Sargent. This better not, under any circumstances be swept under the rug! What she did was wrong on so many levels! She almost killed my wife and babies and I swear to god Voight if anything, I mean anything, happens to them, Erin will pay!!!”

“I understand kid.”

“No don’t you kid me. I’m no more than a detective in your unit right now! I swear you better do something with her! She needs serious help, more help than you can ever think of giving her. This is beyond unacceptable Voight.”

“I know Jay. She will be getting help, I swear.”

“I’m holding you to that because if not, I will make sure you both pay!” With that he hung up and went back to the waiting room. He went to the desk and asked Maggie if Will had been out yet. She sadly shook her head no. Jay sighed and went back to pacing in the waiting room.

 

Will and Nat managed to get her stable. Once they started running fluids, she woke up some. She was terrified, afraid Erin would be back and would kill her and the babies. Will had started her on an antibiotic along with the fluids so the cuts on her wrists didn’t become infected. He’d bandaged them up as well.

Natalie was monitoring the babies. Lauren kept saying how bad she was cramping and Nat was concerned. She wasn’t dilated yet, so that made Nat feel better, but she was afraid she was going to go into early labor if the cramping didn’t stop.

Lauren wasn’t relaxing; she was anxious and scared and that wasn’t good for the babies or her cramps. So they gave her 0.5mg of Ativan as well. Once she started relaxing, Will went to update and get Jay. Natalie stayed with her monitoring the babies. Lauren curled up on her side crying. She was so afraid she was going to lose the babies because it was too early for them to be born.

She knew deep down this wasn’t Jay’s fault, but she didn’t want him around either. So much had happened with Erin the last few months and Lauren couldn’t deal anymore. She was partially blaming Jay for trusting her again, and she just wanted some peace. She wanted to be happy and be a mother with the guy she loved more than anything, but she couldn’t do that with Erin around.

Will and Jay came back in. Jay rushed to her side and rubbed her cheek. “Hey baby, I’m here…. It’s ok I’m here.”

Lauren tried to roll over away from him as she cried harder. “It’s not ok…. It’s not…. Just go,” she pleaded. Natalie was watching her monitors closely.

“Lauren…. Don’t baby… don’t shut me out…. I’m here… I’m here…” Jay said trying not to panic. He couldn’t lose her now that he had her back.

“I said go,” she cried managing to roll finally.

“Lauren…”

“I said GO!” she screamed as she cried harder. Natalie gave Will a look and nodded towards her monitors.

Will laid his hand on Jay’s shoulder. “Come on little brother,” he said pulling him out.

“Will… I…”

“I know… she’s scared, hurt, confused. She’s trying to protect herself and the babies. She just went through something very traumatic, so give her some time. She’ll come around, I’m sure.”

Jay barely nodded as he cried. “I can't….. I can't…. I can't lose her Will. I can't… she’s my everything,” he cried.

“I know buddy. I know. You’re not going too. It’s going to be ok,” Will said praying he was right. It wasn’t long and Natalie came out.

“She’s resting finally. I’m still monitoring her closely because she was cramping, but I think with fluids and rest, she’ll be ok. She’s going to have to go on bed rest Jay. I need the babies to stay another four weeks at least, longer if possible.”

Jay nodded. “Whatever we have to do Nat. I just need them ok.”

“I know,” she smiled giving his arm a squeeze. “I’ll do everything I can. With rest, I really think she’ll be ok, but as dehydrated as she was and as bad as she’s cramping, you have to know she could go into labor. But I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

Jay nodded. “Thanks, Nat,” he said quietly.

She nodded and headed for the break room. She was going to give Will a few minutes with his brother to get him calm. Will sat him down in a private waiting room away from everyone.

“Rest little brother. I’ll come get you if anything changes ok?” Will said laying him down. He rubbed Jay’s head hoping to get him to relax. It wasn’t long and exhaustion took over and Jay was out. Will went and got Mouse to stay with him and then went to find Nat.

They sat in Lauren’s room together watching everything. They were glad she’d been found and they just prayed that once everything settled down, she wouldn’t push Jay away. They sat there all night just watching her; Will occasionally checking on Jay who managed to sleep all night too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed that! So Erin flipped and tried to get Jay one more time. How will that effect Lauren and Jay’s relationship now once she settles? Guess you’ll just have to wait and see ;) It’s going to be interesting and painful and wonderful all at the same time :) Hope you’ll let me know what you thought in a review :)


	33. Recovery

The next morning Lauren was expecting Jay to be sitting there passed out in a chair but he wasn’t. She was only slightly disappointed, but she had screamed at him to get out. She knew he would listen too for fear of upsetting her more.

She kept looking around expecting Erin to jump out from some corner and take her again. She did not want to go back to their apartment. She wasn’t trusting of much of anything and she just wanted to feel safe.

The babies were kicking again this morning, and thankfully she hadn’t felt any cramps yet. She laid back on the bed and sighed. She was still really sore, and she just wanted to sleep. Natalie pushed her door open. “Hey sweetie. How are you feeling?”

Lauren sighed and looked behind her. “I’m alone I promise. Will took Jay to get some breakfast and then they’ll be back.”

“I don’t want him in here, Nat.”

Natalie checked over her monitors and her vitals. “Why not?” she asked slightly concerned.

“Because…. He trusted her again and I trusted him. Look what that got me,” she whispered trying to hide her tears.

Natalie rubbed her arm. “I understand…. I’ll have Will talk to him ok? But you can't avoid him forever sweetie. You’re married and having babies together.”

Lauren didn’t respond; she just fiddled with her fingers and the blanket.

“I’m going to let you rest. Kelly and Shay are here if you want them to come in, and Antonio said he would be by this morning to ask you some questions if you were stable.”

“Kelly’s here?” she asked hopeful. She needed her big brother there to keep her safe.

“Yea they’ve been in the waiting room all night with Jay.”

“Will you have them come in?” Lauren asked wiping at her eyes.

“Of course sweetheart,” Natalie smiled going out to get them. She passed Will and Jay on her way and she sighed. “Jay wait… I need to talk to Will a second,” Natalie said with a sad smile.

Jay nodded; he wasn’t sure what that was about, but he just wanted to get to his girl. Will and Natalie talked for a minute and he knew something was up. Natalie gave Will a hug and then went on to the waiting room.

Will turned to Jay and he knew he wasn’t going to like whatever Will was fixing to tell him. “What’s wrong?” Jay asked.

“Buddy… let’s go in here and eat,” Will said nodding towards the break room.

“No. I want to go see her. I told you that.”

“I know. Come on,” Will said pushing him into the break room.

“What the hell Will?! I want to see my wife.”

Will sighed and shoved Jay down into the nearest chair. “I know you do…. I know… but she told Natalie she didn’t want to see you right now,” Will said quietly giving his shoulder a squeeze.

“What?! Why?” Jay asked crushed.

Will gave his shoulder another squeeze. “She told Nat it was because you trusted Erin again and she trusted you….”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Jay yelled throwing the water bottle against the wall. “It’s not like I told Erin to do that! I would never!!!!!”

“I know… I know little brother. She’s just scared Jay. She doesn’t know how to react. She’s trying to protect herself and the twins. She’s not thinking rationally yet; she’s just acting out of fear. This isn’t going to be forever little brother.”

Jay sank back down in the chair and laid his head in his hands taking deep breaths. He couldn’t lose her; he just couldn’t. “What if it is,” he whispered feeling his chest tightening.

“It won't be. Once she calms down and it settles, she will be back to herself.”

Jay was taking deep breaths trying not to panic. “Jay?... Jay?” Will called not getting an answer. He knelt down in front of Jay. “Damn it Jay,” he said moving his hands and shoving his head between his knees. “Breathe little brother…. Breathe,” Will said holding his head down until he heard Jay catch a breath.

Jay started sobbing. He was losing her… He found her but she was shutting him out. He didn’t know how to handle it. Lauren had always been there, even when he didn’t want her to be, she was there. She always chased after him, always made him see they were meant to be. Now she was shoving him away and he didn’t know what to do. They were his everything and he needed them like he needed air and she was taking it all away.

“Jay… come on buddy. It’s going to be ok. This isn’t going to be forever. She’ll come around. She’s just scared.”

“What….. If…. I… blew it for good?! I never should’ve trusted Erin! I never should’ve let her get anywhere close to Lauren again!!! Why did I do this Will?! Why?”

Will lightly slapped his cheek. “Stop! You did not do this! This was not your fault! It’s all Erin’s. You didn’t know she was going to go crazy and try to kill your wife. This is not your fault! And Lauren will come around.”

Jay looked at him and sighed. “Ok,” he whispered. “I…. I gotta run to the station. Call me if she changes her mind.”

“Jay… why are you going?”

“To make sure the bitch pays,” he said turning and going.

Will sighed as he watched Jay go. He knew Lauren was just scared and acting to protect herself and the twins, but he hoped she’d come around and soon because he wasn’t sure how much more either one could take.

He went to her room to check on her. Kelly had laid down and was holding her and she was asleep. “Hey Kelly,” Will said quietly.

“Hey. Where’s Jay?”

“He went to the station. She told Natalie she didn’t want him here.”

“I know,” Kelly sighed. “She’s just scared,” he said gently laying her on the bed.

“I know. I tried to tell him that, but it still upset him.”

“It would me too.” Kelly ran a hand through his hair. “She’s going to be ok though?”

“Yea… yea she will. I’m gonna check her wrists, but she should be fine. Natalie put her on bed rest for all their safety, but she’s going to be fine.”

Kelly nodded as Will checked her wrists. He re-bandaged them after putting more medicine on them. They were still giving her antibiotics and fluids, but all three seemed stable. “Just let her rest. If yall need anything before we come back around, have us paged,” Will told Kelly before he headed out. Kelly and Shay sat there watching her sleep.

 

 

At the station, Jay passed Antonio first. “Hey how is she?” he asked.

Jay shrugged. “Sleeping, resting, scared. I dunno. I haven’t been able to see her.”

“Why not?” Tony asked confused.

“Because she doesn’t want to see me! Because of all this shit… I just…. Let it go,” Jay said trying to control his anger.

“I get it. She’s scared. I’ve got to go ask her questions in a bit. You’ll be there?”

“If she’ll let me in there. Has she admitted to anything?”

“Uh… yea. She told Hank everything and he made her write it up.”

“Let me read it.”

“I can't. You’ll have to talk to Voight buddy.”

“Yea great,” Jay said heading for Voight’s office.

Erin was asleep on the couch; “Oh what the hell!” Jay said and turned to walk out. He knew if he didn’t he would kill her.

“Halstead!” Hank said following him.

“Don’t. I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses for her! I want answers and I swear to god I better get them!”

Hank nodded towards the break room and sighed walking in. Hank closed the door. “Get control and we’ll talk.”

“Seriously?! You’re telling me to get control?! That’s fucking hilarious coming from you,” Jay said anger radiating off him in waves. “My very pregnant wife was kidnapped by my partner and you’re telling me to get control?! Fuck you Hank.”

Hank kept quiet just letting him get it out. “I want to read her report.”

“No.”

“It wasn’t a request. I have a right to know what the fuck she did to her and why she did it. So let me have the damn report!”

“I said no.”

Jay got right in his face. “I want the damn report! Don’t think I won't go over your head for this either!”

Hank shoved him away. “You are not reading the report. You can talk to Lauren about what happened and you can find out later with everyone else Erin’s side.”

Jay shoved back. “Fuck you! I will get that damn report! And if I could ask Lauren her side do you think I would be here?! No! I would be with her! But because of all this shit, she won't let me in her room! So I want to read the fucking report!”

Hank sighed. “I can't let you have it, but if you want her reasons you can go in there and ask her.”

“Are you wanting her to die?! If it wasn’t for Mouse, I would’ve probably killed her on scene! She kidnapped my wife, almost killed her and my babies! Do you honestly think I want to fucking talk to her! Fuck you Voight!”

Mouse knocked on the door having heard Jay. He walked in and Hank walked out. “If you’ll calm the fuck down I’ll get you the damn report. You should know that,” Mouse said laying a hand on Jay’s shoulder.

Jay sank down on the couch laying his head in his hands. Mouse sat down beside him. “What’s going on buddy?” Mouse asked.

“She won't let me in her room. Because I trusted Erin and Erin did this, she won't let me in there. I find her only to be shut out. I don’t know how to do this Mouse. I don’t.”

“She’s just scared Jay. You know she loves you.”

“I know…. I know…. I just… I just want to see her and take care of her but I can't because she won't let me.”

“I know buddy. She’s never been through something like this though. She doesn’t know how to handle it except to protect herself and the twins. You’ve just got to prove to her that you love her and she is first no matter what.”

Jay nodded. “I know. I love them Mouse. I love them so much.”

“I know buddy. She knows it too. She’s just acting out of fear.”

Jay nodded as Hank came back. “Here. She said for you to read it.” Hank handed him the report against his better judgment. Erin had woken and heard everything Jay had said. She told Hank it was only fair he get to read it since he wouldn’t talk to her.

Jay sat there and read it over. It told how Erin convinced her it was a spa day, knocked her out with water that was spiked with a sleeping a pill and then tied her up in the house. It told how Erin tried to derail their investigation and keep the focus off herself because she wanted Jay for herself. It went on to say that she’d planned on moving her out of state and leaving her so that they would never find her and she could have Jay.

Jay was trying to keep his anger under control as he read it. She did all of that because in her mind she was going to be with him. He was beating himself up for ever trusting her again, but she said and did all the right things. He sighed. “Now what?” he asked Hank handing the report back.

“She told Kot that all this was true and that she really did it. She agreed to go out of state to a treatment center to get in depth help. I know I can't help her anymore and she needs this. She leaves in the morning. Dr. Charles was getting her set up in a place he recommended.”

Jay nodded. “That’s what she needs. She needs serious help.”

“She’s going to get it.”

“I’m taking time off Hank. I have to be there for my wife and I don’t know how long it will take. She’s on best rest until the twins are born, but I have to work on earning her trust back and getting ourselves past this.”

“I understand. We can put you on Family Medical Leave, or FML, until you tell me you’re ready to come back.”

Jay nodded. “Erin’s done right?”

“That will be up to her after her treatment, but I’m going to say yes. Part of her deal was that her job would be held depending on treatment, but I don’t think she’d come back.”

“Thanks. I need to get back,” Jay said standing to go.

“I’ll have the paperwork sent over once it’s ready for your signatures.”

Jay just nodded and turned to go. He headed back to the hospital with a little relief knowing Erin would not be around and she would be getting some much needed help.

 

After Jay got back, Lauren talked to Antonio with Kelly. She told him everything that happened and her story matched Erin’s. Jay was glad that part was behind them and they could start moving forward even though she still refused to see him. Kelly and Shay stayed with her that night, and Jay begged Will to let him stay in the on call room with him. Will gave in knowing he wouldn’t get Jay to go home as long as Lauren was there. Will stayed in there with him since his shift was over. He’d sent Nat home telling her he would call if he needed her.

Jay was still upset that she wouldn’t see him, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to get through to her if she just kept refusing. It was a relatively calm night and they both got some rest. The next morning after Will and Nat assessed her and the babies they determined she could go home.

Kelly told her he would go get Jay, and she told him no. She begged Kelly to let her come home with him and Shay because they made her feel safe. Kelly reluctantly agreed, but told her she had to be the one to tell Jay. Lauren gave him a ‘go to hell’ look, but he told her that was how it was going to be if she wanted to come home with him.

Lauren sighed knowing Kelly meant it, so she gave in. Kelly went and got Jay. He prepared him and told him that it wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, but that he would do what he could. Jay nodded and slowly walked into the room with Kelly behind him.

He wanted to run to her, scoop her up, hug and kiss her and tell her it was all going to be ok, but he didn’t. He squeezed his hands behind his back letting her take the lead.

She wouldn’t look at him; she knew what she was about to say was going to hurt him, hell it was hurting her, but she had to protect her babies. “Lauren?” Jay said quietly trying to get to even look at him.

“I uh… Natalie said we’re stable enough to go home, but that I have to be on bed rest until the babies are born.”

Jay nodded and then realized that she wasn’t looking at him. “Yea she’d already told me that. I have time off until I’m ready to go back. That could be in the next few weeks or not until after they’re here.”

“Jay… you shouldn’t do that,” she whispered feeling tears gather in her eyes. She hated what she was about to do to him, but she felt she had too.

“Why not Lauren? You’re my wife, they’re my babies. I’m supposed to take care of you and I’m going too.”

She was quiet as she felt the tears slip down her cheeks. She tried to hide them, but she knew he’d seen them. He walked over and knelt down by the side of the bed in front of her. He laid his hands on her knees and softly rubbed. “Look at me Lauren. What is it?” he asked quietly.

His care and concern was breaking her. She’d been through so much because of Erin and she was questioning everything even though she loved him so much. She wiped at her cheeks, and he tipped her chin making her look at him.

The love she saw in his eyes made her cry harder. She felt the babies kicking as he cradled her cheek and rubbed. “Tell me… you know you can tell me anything love,” he whispered softly rubbing her cheek and wiping her tears.

“I’m not coming home…. I’m…. I’m going to stay with Kelly and Shay,” she whispered crying some more. She dropped his gaze unable to handle the hurt she saw there.

“Lauren…. What can I do? Please baby I’ll do anything…” he said holding back his tears.

She shook her head breaking his hold on her cheek. “Nothing…. I made up my mind. I just need to rest and figure out what to do. I can't go back there right now Jay. I just can't,” she said crying.

“Ok… ok I get that. I’ll come with you to Kelly’s until you’re ready.”

“No. I can't…. I just can't… please… don’t make it harder than it already is,” she said turning away from him. Jay slowly let her face go and sat back on his heels. He was at a loss for what to do. She’d never pulled away from him, he’d always been the one pulling away in the past.

Kelly had been watching quietly from the door. He knew Lauren really didn’t want to do this, but he didn’t know how to keep her from doing it. She slowly stood up and looked down at Jay one last time as tears poured down her cheeks. He was determined to prove to her that this was their forever and that they could get through this.

He gave her hand a squeeze as she walked over to Kelly. Shay was waiting right outside and he sent her on out. Jay was still sitting in the floor trying to get it together. Kelly walked over to him. “I’ll talk to her. She will come around Jay. This isn’t forever. If I know one thing, it’s that my sister loves you more than anything.”

Jay nodded as Kelly helped him up. “Just…. Just take care of her please,” he whispered biting his lip to keep the tears in. Kelly didn’t need to see him breaking right now.

“I will. I’ll keep you updated and come over whenever ok? Prove to her that she’s safe with you and that you love her.”

“I will. I can't lose her Kel.”

“You won't,” Kelly smiled giving him a hug. “Come over whenever ok? It’s my apartment not hers and if she don’t like it, she can get over it,” he smiled making Jay laugh a little.

“I will. Thanks Kelly.”

Kelly nodded and headed out to the car where Lauren and Shay were waiting. Jay followed him out. She was sitting in the back seat, tears pouring down her cheeks. Jay offered a small wave and she returned it and kept crying. He knew she really didn’t want to do this but thought she had to. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He was going to prove to her that no matter what she was the most important person to him and he loved her no matter what and that he would always take care of her and their babies, no matter what he had to do.

That night Lauren cried herself to sleep in her room at Kelly’s. It was killing him to listen to her, but he knew she had to get it out to process through everything. He gave Shay a sad look. “I don’t like her being back here. She should be with him.”

“I know,” Shay said giving him a sad smile. “But we have to let her process and feel safe again. And if that means she has to stay here and we mediate than that is what we’re going to have to do.”

Kelly sighed. “I know. It’s just not fair. Things had been going good for them and now this.”

Shay nodded. “I know.” She softly kissed him. “They’ll get back there, it might not happen overnight, but they love each other Kel and nothing will keep them apart.”

He smiled. “Yea I know. It’s just hard seeing her hurting.”

“I know. Because you’re a good big brother.”

“I try,” he said hearing nothing from her room. “Guess she’s asleep.”

“Probably so. We should get some sleep too.”

Kelly nodded as they got comfortable. He knew they had a long road, but he knew they would find their way back. They always did.

 

By the third day of her being at their apartment, Kelly had about had enough. She would refuse any calls or texts from Jay and any time he came over, she locked herself in her room. That night, Kelly told Jay he could start staying because he honestly looked like hell.

He hadn’t been sleeping and he’d barely been eating. Kelly told him he could have the spare room or the couch whichever he wanted. Lauren came out to eat and saw him asleep on the couch. She went right back to her room, but Kelly followed her.

He pushed the door open before she got it all the way closed. “For starters you’re supposed to be in bed and you know it. For two, why do you keep ignoring him?”

Lauren curled up on her side away from him. She’d actually been a little excited to see Jay there because she’d missed him, but she was still scared. She knew if she went back home with him, where she wanted to be, that Erin would come back for her. She had to protect the twins so she had to stay here.

“Lauren, I love you, you know that, but hiding from this, not dealing with it is only making it worse. You can't keep hiding in here Sis.”

“I’m not hiding Kelly. As you pointed out I’m on bed rest and supposed to be in bed.”

Kelly sighed. “Fine. When you’re ready to talk and deal with this you know where I am. And Jay’s staying here. I don’t care what you say. He’s your husband, the father of your babies and he loves you. He’ll be here whenever you’re ready.”

Lauren felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She wanted him she really did, but she knew she couldn’t and that hurt. Kelly rubbed her back and softly the kissed the side of her head. He went back out to the living room with a sigh.

The next day was much of the same. Jay was there, but Lauren stayed in her room. He was going crazy. He knew he was losing her, but he didn’t know how to stop it. She wouldn’t talk to him; she wouldn’t even look at him. Kelly was about at his wit’s end with her. He understood, he did, but there was only so far this could go.

Shay said she would try. She went into Lauren’s room and she was laying there drawing random patterns on her belly.

“Hey,” Shay said quietly sitting down on the bed by her.

“Hey,” Lauren said.

“How are the babies?”

“They’re good. They’ve been quiet today, but they’ll start kicking up a storm soon.”

Shay smiled. “How are you?”

“I’m fine Shay.”

Shay laid he hand over Lauren’s and gave a soft squeeze. “I know better than that sis. Talk to me, you know you can.”

Lauren was quiet. “I’m scared Shay,” she whispered.

Shay laid down beside her and softly started stroking her hair. “Scared of what?”

“Going back there, being with him.”

“Why? Jay loves you. He would never hurt you.”

“I know he wouldn’t. But Erin… she’ll come back. She’ll hurt me and the twins and I have to protect them Shay. I’ve never trusted her and he did and look what happened. I can't do that again, I won't.”

“I know…. I know… it was awful and horrible, but she’s gone. She’s not even in state anymore. You’d be safe with him.”

“I can't Shay. I can't. My twins are more important. I have to protect them.”

“I understand, I do. But you still love him.”

“I do,” she cried. “I love him so much and I used to feel so safe with him. He was the only one I felt safe with besides you and Kelly. But she came to my home… she took me, she tried to kill me because she wanted him.” Lauren was sobbing now.

Shay held her. “I know sweetheart, I know. It’s ok,” she whispered rubbing her back.

Lauren cried her heart out until she fell asleep in Shay’s arms. Shay eased her to the bed and tucked her in before going back out to the living room. “Well?” Kelly asked as they muted the baseball game they’d been watching.

“She’s still scared. She think Erin’s going to come back and she’s just trying to protect the twins. But she talked a little more about it so she’s getting there. It’s just going to take some time guys.”

Jay sighed and ran his hands through his hair. That was not what he wanted to hear, but he’d do whatever he had to do to get her back. “I’m gonna run out for a bit and then I’ll be back,” Jay said getting his keys. Kelly and Shay just nodded and went back to watching the ball game.

Jay ran home; some things for the twins were supposed to come today and he wanted to make sure they got put away. He’d gotten some outfits and some stuff for the nursery. He knew she would love them whenever she came home and saw them.

He sighed as he looked over the room. He’d painted it the other day while she’d been at Kelly’s. He knew what she’d decided on and he wanted everything perfect for her once she came back home. He put everything away and sat down in the babies’ room thinking. He got some paper and just started writing. She wouldn’t talk to him, but he could at least try and communicate with her.

Once he got back to Kelly’s he ate with them and took her a plate. “Lauren, please open the door. I have your food,” he pleaded.

Lauren sighed and opened the door. She laid back down as he walked in. “Kelly made supper. Please eat, for the babies.”

“I will. Just leave it,” she whispered.

“How are the babies?” he asked quietly.

“They’re good. They’re moving if you want to feel,” she said. She knew he’d missed feeling them and talking to them because she’d missed him doing it.

Jay smiled a little and laid his hand on her belly and softly rubbed. The babies kicked hard and she smiled through her tears. Jay felt tears gather. “Hey babies. Everything is going to be ok, daddy promises. We’ll get through this, I promise. Daddy can't wait to see you two,” he whispered as the tears flowed down his cheeks.

Lauren ran her fingers through his hair. She knew he was hurting, that she was hurting him, but she had to keep them safe from Erin. He softly kissed her belly as the babies kicked. They loved their daddy already and she would never keep them from him.

“Jay…”

“No don’t. It’s ok…. I get it… I do,” he said kissing her belly again. He squeezed her hand as more tears fell. “I’ll be in the living room if you wanna talk,” he whispered. Walking out of her room was the hardest thing ever. He wanted to stay in there and take care of her and be there, but she still wasn’t ready.

Lauren felt the babies kicking as if they knew Jay was gone. She rubbed her belly as the tears flowed. “Mommy’s sorry loves….. I really am… I’m just trying to protect you, keep you safe,” she cried. Once the babies settled, Lauren reached over and saw the envelope with the food. She ate just a little because she knew she needed to for the babies.

She opened the envelope and saw his handwriting. It was several pages. She started reading. He told her about the first day he saw her and how he knew there would never be anyone else. He told her about his worst tour as a Ranger, and how the only thing that got him through was thinking about her.

She had tears pouring down her cheeks as she read.

He told her about how she was the reason he joined CPD and got his act together. He wanted to be a better person than when she first met him if she ever came back to him. He wanted to be better than what the Rangers turned him into because she deserved his best. He told her how happy he was when she did come back and how he fell in love with her all over again. He told her how he planned her proposal because he wanted it to be perfect. The day he married her was the happiest day of his life because he knew no matter what she’d always be there.

He told her about how he loved how they found about the twins. That not only was she giving him one baby but two. Two perfect babies that they made because they loved each other so much. He wanted the little girl to look like her because she was the most beautiful woman he knew.

He told her how no matter what he would always love her and protect her. That she was the most important person in the world to him and the babies were second. He apologized for not keeping her safe from Erin and he took all the blame for trusting her again. He told her that Erin was out of state for a very long time and that she could never hurt them again. He gave her a copy of Erin’s statement and the papers where she was admitted.

“I just want you to know I love you so much Lauren Kathleen. You are the only woman for me. I’ll always be here, and when you’re ready I’ll be waiting. All my love Jay.” There were teardrops on the pages where he’d cried as he wrote it.

Lauren was sobbing by the time she finished reading. She wanted to believe it all, she did; she wanted to run in there and crawl into his arms and let him take care of her, but she was still scared. She cried until she cried herself to sleep. Jay went to check on her a little later and covered her up when he found her asleep.

He saw where she’d read the later and he sighed. Maybe he’d gotten through to her after all. He softly brushed the curls from her face and softly kissed her cheek. “I love you so much Lauren and we will get through this,” he whispered.

 

The weekend was much of the same; Lauren stayed in her room and Jay stayed on the couch. Kelly and Shay had to go back to work on Sunday night at midnight. They hoped that maybe leaving the two of them alone, they would work 9things out.

Monday morning, Jay woke with a start. He heard the apartment door close and he reached for his gun thinking someone was coming in. He got up and looked things over, but no one was in there. He checked Lauren’s room and she was gone. ‘ _Shit!’_ his mind screamed.

He tried calling, but of course she didn’t answer.

He called Mouse. “Hey buddy how are things?” Mouse answered.

“Track her phone Mouse. Please. She just left Kelly’s and I don’t know where she’s going and she won't answer.”

“Whoa whoa slow down. She didn’t say anything?”

“No damn it! I was asleep and she snuck out! She’s supposed to be in bed…”

“Take a deep breath, buddy. I’m pulling it up now.”

Jay took a deep breath and sent Kelly a text while Mouse located her. He told Kelly she left and to be looking for her in case she came that way. Before Kelly replied Mouse piped in with her location.

“She’s downtown at some building.” He rattled off the address and Jay headed that way. Mouse kept looking and sighed when he realized where she was. Jay was totally going to lose it. “Jay… you need to be prepared buddy.”

“Prepared for what?” Jay asked speeding through Chicago traffic.

“She’s…. she’s…”

“Spit it out Mouse!” Jay was on edge and he didn’t mean to take it out on his best friend, but he needed to know.

“She’s at a lawyer’s office,” Mouse rattled off quickly.

The other end of the line was silent. “Jay?!! Jay?! Halstead?!!” Mouse practically screamed, panicking because he knew Jay was driving.

“I’m here,” he whispered. He pulled up outside the building and sure enough her car was there. “What…. What….. What is she doing?” he asked quietly trying to stay calm.

“Uh….. Jay… there’s more,” Mouse said quietly. He hated being the one to do this to his best friend, but Jay had to know.

“What?” he asked Mouse quietly watching the building.

“She’s taken money out of yall’s account Jay.”

“Fuck,” he yelled punching the steering wheel. “I gotta go,” he said and hung up. She couldn’t do this to him. He couldn’t lose her and the babies. They were his everything. He knew she was scared, but damn it he deserved the chance to work through it with her.

Before he could go in, Kelly was calling. Mouse had text him what was going on. “Jay?”

“Yea I’m here Kelly.”

“Mouse told me. I’m leaving the station. I’ll be there in ten.”

“No. I’m handling this. She is my wife and damn it she’s going to listen to me. I can't lose her, I can't. She doesn’t get to make this decision without at least talking to me.”

“I know… I know… I’m heading home anyways. Call me, let me know what happens.” Kelly had about it with this. It had gone too far and she was starting to act like Benny. He was not about to let her make those same mistakes, no matter what he had to do.

“I will,” Jay said and hung up.

He headed inside the offices and she was headed out. “Jay?” she said completely shocked.

He lightly grabbed her arm and steered her outside. “What… What… What are you doing?” she asked when they were at her car.

“I should be asking you that!” he said settling her in the passenger seat facing him.

“I… Jay…”

“No! Damn it you don’t get to do this without talking to me. This isn’t your decision to make on your own! This is my life too, those are my babies. I fucking love you Lauren and I can't live without.”

Tears gathered in her eyes. She knew this would hurt him; it was hurting her so much, but she seriously had to protect her babies. She knew he said Erin was out of state, but what happened when she came back? Jay was still part of Intelligence and she knew Erin would be too. She’d take the twins and kill Lauren all so she could have Jay, Lauren couldn’t let that happen.

Jay cupped her cheek making her look at him. There was so much pain and confusion in her eyes and the tears broke him like always. “Lauren…. Did you not read my letter? Don’t you see how much I love you?” he whispered as his own tears fell. “I love you more than anything in this world. You and our babies are my everything, my everything. I’m begging you Lauren… please…. Please don’t take this away from me. Give me the chance to show you that you are safe with me and I will always protect you.”

The tears were flowing fast down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry baby…. I’m so so so so sorry I didn’t protect you from her. I should’ve; I never should’ve trusted her again and I’m sorry. I hurt you more than I ever intended, but it will never happen again. She’s gone and she can't hurt us anymore.”

“She can,” Lauren cried. “She will…. She’ll take my babies and kill me… She said she would. She wants you too much. I can't Jay…. I can't… I have to protect them. I would never….. I would never keep you from them; you can have them all you want, I swear. But I have to protect them and me. I love you so much…. I do…. But I can't… I can't anymore,” she cried jumping out and waddling to the other side.

The babies were kicking up a storm and she knew she needed to calm down, but she was too upset. She loved him more than anything and this was absolutely killing her, but she felt she had to.

She closed the door and started to drive off as the tears flowed. Jay was standing on the sidewalk, broken and crying and it made her hurt more. She cried the whole way back to Kelly’s apartment. She was going to rest for just a bit and then she was going to pack her stuff. She knew Kelly wouldn’t let her stay with him forever, so she would find a place, but she meant it when she said she wouldn’t keep the babies from him.

 

Jay was lost and broken. He made it back to the car and called Kelly. He begged Kelly to meet him somewhere so they could talk. He didn’t know what to do anymore, he just knew he couldn’t lose her.

Kelly agreed to meet him at a little coffee shop down from the apartment. He knew it wouldn’t be busy this time of day and they could talk.

 

When Lauren got back to the apartment she laid down and cried herself to sleep. The babies finally settled enough and she slept for about an hour. During that hour, Jay told Kelly everything that had happened and he couldn’t lose her. He told him about the letter too, and how when she talked about leaving how upset she got.

He told him all about what she said about Erin. Kelly knew she really didn’t want to leave, she was just scared and acting out. But he had had enough. This had gone on way too long, and it was time for them to have a serious talk. Jay told him that Lauren had probably gone back to the apartment because she’d been so upset.

Kelly nodded and they headed back to his apartment. He went straight to her room, but she wasn’t there. They looked the place over, but she wasn’t anywhere. Jay headed to their apartment thinking she might there, and Kelly headed for the station thinking she might have gone to see Shay.

When Jay got to the apartment, it was still empty but her stuff was still there. He headed back out; he thought Kelly might find her at the station so he headed back to Kelly’s to wait. If she wasn’t there he was going to have Mouse ping her phone again.

Shay told Kelly she hadn’t seen her or heard from her all day. Kelly sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “Hey… it’ll be ok,” Shay said giving him a hug.

“She went to a lawyer, Les.”

“Shit,” Shay sighed. “Go see if he found her at the apartment, and call me if you need me to come talk to her.”

“Yea I will,” he smiled kissing her forehead.

“Hey Kel?”

“Yea?”

“I love you; I’m here, and this is going to work out.”

Kelly smiled big. He walked over and softly kissed her lips. “I love you too Les. Thank you for being here. I couldn’t do it without you.”

She smiled. “I know. Now go,” she said pushing him out the door.

Kelly smiled as he headed out to find his sister. He went back by their apartment thinking Jay had found her there. He didn’t see Jay’s car outside, so maybe not, but he thought he’d check anyways. ‘ _He might’ve parked around back,’_ Kelly thought as he headed up.

He used his key and opened the door. He could hear someone sniffing. “Lauren? Jay?” he called out.

He heard drawers closing and someone crying. He went to the bedroom. Lauren was packing.

“Lauren?”

“What?” she asked not looking at him as she wiped her eyes.

“Where’s Jay?”

Lauren just shrugged and didn’t answer.

“What are doing?”

“Packing? Why?”

“Why the hell are you packing?” He was watching her carefully.

“Because I can't stay here Kelly. I just can't,” she cried as more tears fell. She winced a little at the pain she felt, but kept going. The babies were kicking and moving, and she was in pain, but she had to get this done.

“You’re scared. We all get that Sis. Everyone understands, but you can't do this.”

“Oh I can't? And why the hell not?!” She was upset and hurting, but she still let some of her temper shine through at Kelly for not supporting her.

“Because you’re running! You’re not dealing with this. You’re letting the fear over take you, and you’re throwing away the best thing to ever happen to you! You’re acting like Benny and I’ve had enough of it!”

She gasped and looked at him with big tear filled eyes. “How dare you! I am not him; I never have been!”

“You’re right. You haven’t but right now that’s exactly who you’re acting like and I’m not going to be a part of it! Are you even thinking about your babies? About you? You love Jay; you love Jay more than anything. When everyone else said give up, me included you didn’t. You fought for him with everything you had! And now you’re throwing it all away when he’s trying to fight for you.”

Lauren was crying hard and holding her back. She knew Kelly was right, but she was scared and in pain but she wouldn’t admit it. Kelly hated making her cry, but she needed to hear it. He walked over and hugged her.

“Let him take care of you and love you. Don’t be Benny; don’t give up now. He loves you. He wants to be with you forever. You can't blame him for what Erin did. She’s gone, out of state, and he won't let her near you ever again. He told his boss to fuck off because you were more important to him. Don’t throw this away Sis…”

“Kelly,” she cried as she held her back.

“Shit Lauren,” he said noticing her holding her back. He’d seen her wincing, but thought the babies were just kicking. Now he thought she might be in labor. He scooped her up as she cried. She knew it was too soon and this is why Natalie had wanted her on bed rest. The babies were just thirty three weeks and she couldn’t lose them.

On the way to the hospital, she begged him not to call Jay. She wasn’t ready to see him just yet, even though she knew everything Kelly said was true. To keep her calm, Kelly said he wouldn’t, but he’d already text Jay.

He’d called Natalie and they were waiting when he pulled in. They got her on a gurney and she begged Kelly to stay with her. Once in the room, Natalie had him wait outside. He called Jay and told him they were at Med and that he was afraid the babies were coming.

Jay told him he was on his way as Natalie let him back in her room. She wasn’t dilating still, but Natalie was monitoring the contractions. Right now, she thought it was just Braxton-Hicks where she’d been up moving, but she wanted to be sure before she sent her home.

Kelly sat down by the bed, holding her hand. He softly rubbed her cheek getting her to relax. She looks at him with her watery green eyes. “I know… It’s ok. It’s going to be ok,” he whispered.

“I’m scared Kel. I want him, I love him so much, but I can't trust her not to come back. She said she would,” Lauren said as her tears flowed.

Kelly rubbed her cheek. “She can't Sis. She’s out of state and even if she does come back, Jay’s not letting her near you or him. Leaving him is not the answer. You’re not Benny, and I can't sit back and watch you do what he always did.”

Lauren leaned into his hand. She knew Kelly was right. Neither knew Jay was standing outside listening. If Kelly was getting through to her, he wasn’t about to interrupt.

“I don’t want to leave him,” she cried. “I love him Kelly so much. I never wanted to leave, but I thought I was protecting the twins. He’s my everything and I’ve hurt him so much with all of this. I need him like I need air, but I’m scared. She said she’d kill me Kelly, she did, and I couldn’t let that happen. I needed him, and he came, but I thought it was too late. And then I was just scared she was going to come back. I couldn’t put him through losing us again. I love him Kelly, I do,” she cried hard.

Kelly laid her head against him and rubbed her head. “I know Sis… I know… it’s going to be ok, it will,” he whispered trying to calm her. The more upset she got, the more she contracted. They did not need her going into labor.

“Please call him…. please Kel… please… I’m scared and I need him… the babies need him… please Kel,” she sobbed.

Before Kelly could tell her that he’d already called him, Jay pushed the curtain back and ran to her. Kelly moved and let Jay climb on the bed and hold her. “I’m here baby… I’m here,” he whispered over and over holding her tight.

He mouthed “thank you,” to Kelly and he nodded. He headed for the door and motioned to Jay he’d be right out there. He let out a huge sigh of relief that he’d gotten through to her. He sent Shay a text letting her know.

Lauren cried into Jay’s chest telling him over and over how sorry she was for all of this. He told her repeatedly that it was ok and he was there.

“I’m here baby. It’s going to be ok. I get it, I do. I just can't live without you Lauren. You are my everything.”

“You’re my everything too,” she cried as she clung to him. Jay played with her hair and just held her feeling her start to relax. It wasn’t long and he heard her breathing even out. She’d cried herself to sleep in his arms.

“You and the babies are going to be just fine. I’m never leaving and you’ll be safe with me,” he whispered. He heard her soft sigh as she laid over his heart. He laid there watching her and watching the monitors. The babies seemed to have settled down and she wasn’t contracting right now. He let out a sigh of relief.

As long as he had her and the babies, everything would be ok. He fell asleep with her. Will, Natalie, and Kelly all smiled when they went in a little later to check on them. They were both asleep in the hospital bed, Lauren laying on him, and his hand protectively resting on her belly.

“They’re gonna be ok,” Kelly whispered and the other two nodded.

“As long as she doesn’t have any more contractions through the night, I’ll send her home in the morning. But she’s going to have to stay in bed Kelly.”

Kelly smiled. “I think he can handle that,” he chuckled. The other two smiled. They turned out the lights and quietly closed the door. Kelly went back home; Will and Natalie finished their shift.

The next morning, Natalie let her go with strict instructions of bed rest and a bare minimum of activity to keep the babies in there. They both understood and Lauren said she’d do whatever she had to, to make sure the babies arrived safely. When they left, she went back home with Jay for the first time since the kidnapping. She felt safe with him there, and she never planned on leaving him ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So of course they worked it out, it just took some time :) anyways hoped you liked it and we’ll let me know what you thought. As always thanks to Firstamamawifeafriend for all her help and support with this :)  
> Up Next: How much longer before the twins make their appearance? Will they be early? Or will they almost be full term?


	34. Twins

After Jay and Lauren returned home, they did a lot of talking and resting. She told him she was fine if he wanted to go back to work, but he stayed with her for the first week and a half. He promised he was always just a phone call away, and that even the slightest twinge to call and he would be home.

Lauren laughed and told him she would be fine. So on April eighteenth he went back to work. He worked out a deal with Voight that he stayed in the office and worked with Mouse as much as possible. He didn’t want to be out on a bust and Lauren call. Voight understood and kept him in with Mouse.

It was fun working with Mouse again. It reminded him of their Army days. Mouse was the brains behind the technology, and Jay pieced everything together helping the team out. Every day coming home to Lauren was the best. He loved being able to take care of her and do things around the house.

She had stuck to the bed rest and rarely did anything but watch TV or read during the days. On Shay’s days off, she and Kelly would come over and keep her company. On the twenty-third, Lauren was thirty-six weeks. They knew the twins could come at any time now, but they were hoping they would wait despite how uncomfortable Lauren had become.

Shay and Natalie planned her a baby shower at their apartment for the twenty-third. Everyone from the district and fire hall showed up. Even some of the doctors and nurses Will and Natalie worked with at Med came too. They had a really great time, and got tons of things they needed.

They mainly got diapers and wipes and onesies and outfits, and Lauren was so thankful. She’d ordered some sheets for their crib and curtains off Amazon, and Jay had ordered the other crib with the promise to put it together whenever they needed.

She’d sat in the rocker after everyone left and told him where to put everything. She absolutely loved the nursery. He’d done a perfect job with it. The walls were pale yellow with one thick brown stripe running around the center. They’d hung the babies’ initials on the wall. They were giving the twins the same initials, but they ordered two sets for when they got their own rooms.

They’d put a couple of the ultrasound pictures in frames and put them in the room. They also had a twelve month frame for both babies, and each month Lauren was going to add pictures to them. She had the canvases ready to make once the babies got here. The closet and dresser were full of clothes and they had plenty of diapers to start out. She was so excited for the babies to be here.

 

It’d been three weeks to the day (April 26) since she’d been admitted to the hospital for contractions and stayed overnight. She was glad that all of that was behind them now, and they were moving forward getting ready for their babies. Jay was at work, and she was laying around on the couch watching a movie on Netflix.

The babies had been kicking hard all day, and her back had been killing her. She didn’t think she was contracting, but she was severely uncomfortable. She decided to go take a hot bath thinking that would help her back. On her way to the bathroom, she felt like she’d peed on herself. She sighed; it was always something since this last week. She was so ready for these babies to be here, even though she knew they needed to stay a little longer.

She stripped and got in the bath with a sigh. “Ok mommy’s little loves, settle down for a nap. Mommy’s hurting,” she whispered rubbing her belly hoping to settle her two active little ones. Once the water started turning cool she got out. She was still hurting, but not as bad. She started a load of laundry and then laid down hoping she could rest.

After an hour she decided that laying down made her even more uncomfortable. She kept getting these sharp pains in her back, and the babies had not settled. She got up and decided to get back on the couch. On her way, she found the babies seemed to calm down as long as she was up. She rubbed her back and sighed.

She knew she was supposed to be resting, but she was too uncomfortable to lay still. She walked slowly into the living room. She sat down and turned Netflix back on, but she was miserable. She got up and started walking again as she heard Jay come in.

“Hey baby,” he called. She walked back into the living room rubbing her back.

“Hey,” she said quietly.

Jay walked over and wrapped his arms around her, replacing her hands with his. “What’s the matter Lauren?”

“Nothing… nothing I’m ok,” she tried to smile.

“Why are you walking?” he asked concern filling his eyes.

“I… it... the babies were calm as I walked,” she whispered not meeting his eyes. She knew she wasn’t supposed to be up, but she was miserable.

Jay tipped her chin up and saw the tears in her eyes. He rubbed harder on her back and she sighed; it felt so good. “Let’s go lay down,” he said picking her up. She’d tried protesting every time he did it, telling him she was too big and heavy for him to be carrying, but he ignored each and every one.

He laid her down in bed and kept rubbing her back, and she started crying. “Hey…. Hey… it’s ok baby… it’s ok,” he whispered as she cried into his chest.

“Everything hurts,” she cried as he rubbed a little harder.

“Ok… ok… well let’s go see Nat and get checked out.”

“No… no… my water hasn’t broke or anything… they’re just out of room,” she cried.

Jay kept rubbing her back. He snuck a hand around and rubbed on her stomach. It was hard and he was afraid she really was contracting but was denying it.

“I’d feel better if we went and made sure. Nat won't mind Lauren…”

“Ok….. Ok…” she cried because she really was miserable.

Jay got her down to the car and started calling his brother. He knew they were on shift, and he hated seeing how upset and in pain she was. Will told him they would be waiting.

They were ten minutes from Med when Lauren grabbed his arm and gasped.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked trying not to panic as he drove.

“Jay…. I… oh god,” she cried unbuckling her seat belt.

“What is it Lauren? What’s wrong?”

“Push…. Jay… Oh shit…. It hurts… It hurts…. Baby’s coming….” She panted as her body started pushing. She couldn’t fight the urge. Her babies were coming, now!

“Shit!” Jay said pulling over. He jumped out and ran around to her side as he dialed Will.

“What’s wrong?” Will answered already knowing they were on the way.

“Not going to make it! Tell me what to do,” Jay said frantically pulling her skirt up as Lauren kept pushing.

“Jay…. oh god…. Please,” she cried pushing again.

“Will tell me what to do!” he yelled as she pushed again.

Will put him on speaker so Nat could talk to him too. Will dispatched an ambulance to them as well.

“You’ve got to see if you can see the head, Jay,” Natalie said calmly.

Jay nodded and pulled her legs up on the dash making it easier on them both. “Yea… yea… I can. It’s right here.”

“Ok, when the head is out cradle it and then she’ll push the baby the rest of the way out.”

Jay nodded. He couldn’t believe he was actually delivering his babies on the side of the road. Lauren was crying; she grabbed the back of her legs and pushed. Jay hated the screams coming from her. Next time they were definitely getting to the hospital first, and then medicine he thought because he hated seeing her in pain.

The baby’s head slid out into his hands. “Almost there baby… almost there. The head’s out. One more push,” he smiled up at her. Lauren gave one more hard push and the baby slid right into Jay’s hands.

“It’s our boy… a boy,” Jay said; “The baby is here Nat,” Jay said into the phone. The baby was screaming crying, and he laid him on Lauren.

“Jay you’ve got to tie the cord off or cut it if you can.”

“I don’t have anything,” he said desperately.

“Ambo is five minutes out little brother,” Will said trying to calm him.

“A shoe string, use a shoe string Jay and tie it tight until they get there.”

He pulled the string out of his tennis shoe and tied it as tight as he could. He found his hoodie out of the back seat and laid it on Lauren so she could wrap him up.

“Jaayyyy,” Lauren cried. She had to push again.

“What baby?” he asked reaching up and pulling her hair up for her.

“Push…. I gotta…. She’s coming,” Lauren cried which made their boy cry more.

“Ok baby. We can do this… I’m right here,” he said laying the baby wrapped in his hoodie in his seat.

“I can't Jay…. I can't,” she cried.

He rubbed her legs. “Yea you can… I’m right here. We can do this baby. Let’s get our little girl here.”

He wiped her tears and let her squeeze his hand hard as she started pushing again. She was tired and exhausted, but she had to get her baby here. She could hear her little boy screaming, but she kept pushing. Jay was encouraging her as she pushed. Will and Natalie were listening to everything on the phone.

After the fifth push, Jay could see the baby’s head. “She’s almost here, Lauren. I can see her head. A few more pushes,” he encouraged.

Lauren pushed with all she had. The baby’s head was out and Jay tried not to panic. She was slightly blue, and the cord was around her neck. “One more push Lauren. We’ve got to get her here,” he said.

“Jay? Everything ok?” Will asked hearing the underlying panic in his voice. It was killing them not to be there. The ambulance flew in, and Shay and Gabby jumped out. Shay ran to the driver’s side and saw a screaming baby in Jay’s hoodie. “We got him,” she said to Jay cutting the cord and handing him to Gabby.

Lauren pushed one more time and their baby girl was there. Squad was right behind the ambo and Kelly came running over hearing his sister’s cries. “What’s wrong? Jay what’s wrong with our baby?” Lauren cried trying to see the little girl that wasn’t crying.

“Will…. She’s not breathing,” Jay cried as Kelly yelled at Shay. He carefully untangled the cord from her neck as Kelly told him how, and they quickly cut it. Kelly wrapped the baby girl in a thermal blanket that Cruz had tossed him and ran her to the ambulance.

Lauren started sobbing and trying to get her. Jay scooped her up and carried her to the ambulance. He laid her on the gurney. “Meet us there,” Shay said closing the doors. Jay nodded as tears flowed down his cheeks.

In the ambulance, Lauren was sobbing; her little girl still had not cried. Shay had hooked the baby boy to oxygen, and he had calmed down. Kelly was doing compressions on his tiny niece. As they pulled into the hospital, Will and Natalie were waiting. Shay was worried because Lauren’s blood pressure had spiked on the way, and she was so upset.

She rattled off the info as the little girl took her first labored breath. Kelly sighed as Natalie reached for her. She took both babies and ran for the NICU with them as they unloaded Lauren to take to delivery. Will had Maggie page the OB on call to meet them in labor and delivery since she had not delivered the placenta yet.

Jay came flying in behind them and jumped out running for her seeing them wheeling her into the hospital. Will caught him as the wheeled Lauren upstairs. “Wait… wait… wait…” Will said holding him tight.

Jay was crying hard, and Will was thankful he’d made it safely. “Let them get her settled and we’ll go up.”

“My baby….. My baby, she wasn’t breathing Will,” he cried.

“Nat’s got them…. They’re going to the NICU. We have one of the best NICU teams around. It’s going to be ok,” He said holding Jay up.

“I’ve got to get them to, I have to,” he cried trying to break Will’s hold.

“You can't buddy. Not yet. Let them work on them and once we can see them, Nat will come get us. She’s with them. It’s ok,” Will said holding him a little tighter.

Maggie walked up. “She’s asking for yall,” she said rattling off a room number to Will. Jay broke his hold and headed for that room, Will right behind him. There’s no way he was leaving her alone if he didn’t have too.

Jay skipped the elevator and ran up the steps to the labor and delivery floor; Will right behind him. He ran into her room and she was sobbing, asking for him. He cradled her face; “Hey… hey, I’m here… I’m here baby,” he whispered resting his forehead against hers. They’d hooked her up to IVs and the OB was delivering her placenta.

“Our babies,” she cried clinging to him.

“I know…. I know…” he whispered as he held her; his own tears silently falling down his cheeks. “Nat’s with them… they’ll be ok… they will,” he whispered as he prayed he was right.

The OB cleaned up and told them she would be back around in a little while to check on them Will thanked her as Kelly and Shay came running in. Lauren was clinging to Jay, and he was slowly calming her down as he held her.

“Any news?” Kelly asked. Will shook his head and Kelly sighed.

They walked to the other side of her bed. “Hey sis. We’re here,” he said quietly rubbing her head.

Lauren pulled back from Jay and looked up at him with red, puffy eyes. “You saved her,” she whispered as tears flowed again. Shay was crying too as Kelly wrapped his arms around her.

“Always sis. It’s going to be ok,” he said letting her cry. Will snuck out to see if he could get them any news.

Kelly slowly let her go, and Jay laid down with her laying her head on his chest being careful of her IVs. Lauren let the sound of his heartbeat lull her to sleep. She was so exhausted and worried about her babies, but being in his arms always relaxed her. Jay kissed her forehead and just watched her thinking about their babies, praying they were ok.

Kelly and Shay had curled up on the couch, getting Boden to let them off so they could be there with them. Shay laid her head on his shoulder. “You did good today,” she whispered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been that scared,” he whispered back wrapping his arm around her back.

“You did good Kel. You let the training take over without thinking about her, and you got her breathing. It wasn’t a great first breath, but they’re early.”

Kelly nodded. He knew Shay was right, but still, it was his niece and nephew they were talking about; he’d had to give his tiny niece CPR and that’s nothing you can ever prepare for.

Just as Jay started to drift about an hour later Will came back with Nat. He was instantly alert, but tried not to startle Lauren.

“Nat?” he asked quietly.

“They’re ok. They’re both stable. The little boy is doing better than his sister. He is healthy, just on some oxygen to help him breath. The little girl is on a cpap, or continuous positive airway pressure, machine to help her breathe. I know she wasn’t breathing when she was born, but she is now. She was struggling too much to stay on just oxygen like her brother so we put her on the cpap. The cpap is helping her get enough oxygen and let her lungs finish developing while saving her energy.”

“But she’s ok right?” Jay asked her.

“She will be. This is just to help her breath. She’s not intubated, just letting the machine help her get enough oxygen. She’ll be in an incubator, and you can't hold her until she’s off the cpap, but you can touch her and talk to her.”

Jay nodded as he ran his hands through his hair.

“I can take you to see them… it’ll be good for all four of you,” Nat smiled.

Jay nodded and rubbed Lauren’s cheek. “Hey baby, wake up for me,” he whispered.

“What’s wrong? Is it the babies?” she asked instantly awake.

“They’re ok. It’s ok. Nat’s going to take us to see them.”

Lauren looked so hopeful. “She’s ok?”

“She will be. She’s on a cpap to help her breath and finish developing her lungs. We can't hold her, but we can touch her.”

He wiped her tears; “What about him?” she asked.

“He’s good. He’s on oxygen to help him breathe, but he’s ok.”

Lauren nodded as Natalie brought her a wheelchair. “Why don’t we go see these two beautiful darlings,” she smiled.

Lauren nodded as Jay helped her over into the wheelchair. He pushed her through the halls as Natalie led them to the NICU. She pushed the doors open and showed them where to scrub up. Jay helped Lauren, and then Nat led them over to the babies.

The babies were side by side, and Lauren cried seeing them. They were both tiny, but so adorable. The cpap looked terrifying on her little face, and Lauren cried harder seeing it. Jay rubbed her shoulders as Lauren reached through the holes. She rubbed her baby’s tiny fingers.

“It doesn’t hurt sweetie. It just looks scary,” Nat said with a smile. “It’s helping her breathe as her lungs finish developing.”

Lauren nodded as she rubbed the baby’s arm and fingers. Natalie pulled a rocker over by Lauren for Jay. He put his hand through the other hole and rubbed her leg. “She’s tiny,” he whispered as they watched their little girl.

“She was four pounds seven ounces and seventeen inches long. Her brother was five pounds even and eighteen inches long,” Nat smiled.

They turned and looked at their little boy and smiled. He was sleeping away right beside his sister. “Wanna hold him?” Nat asked.

“Can we?” Jay asked tentatively.

“Of course. We encourage it as much as possible so you bond with them. We really like skin to skin so the baby gets to know you.”

Lauren smiled as she watched Nat get their little boy out. She turned back to her sleeping girl. “Mommy’s here,” she whispered rubbing her little arm.

Natalie let Lauren hold him first. She cradled him against her and Jay snapped a picture of them. “Hey little man. Mommy’s proud of you. You’re doing so good,” she whispered kissing his cheek. He scrunched his nose and moved his arms a little trying to get closer.

Lauren let a few tears fall. He was perfect. She counted his fingers and toes and rubbed his cheek. She was already so in love with her little man. “Mommy loves you little man,” she whispered kissing his forehead. He had hair just like his daddy and she knew if he opened his eyes, he would have Jay’s eyes as well.

She glanced over and saw Jay rubbing their little girls arm and talking softly to her as a few tears slipped down his cheeks. She was going to have daddy wrapped around her tiny fingers, Lauren just knew it.

“What would we do without your daddy?” she whispered kissing the baby’s cheek again.

He started rooting at her as she held him against her. Natalie laughed a little as she watched him. “He’s getting hungry mommy. Wanna feed him?” she asked. Jay glanced over and saw him. He smiled as he wiped his eyes.

Lauren nodded. Natalie walked over; “Jay wanna hold the blanket up for us?”

He pulled his arm out and got the baby blanket. He held it up in front of her as Natalie helped her pull the gown back. She showed Lauren how to get him to latch on and once she rubbed her nipple against his lips he did.

“Wow,” she whispered amazed at the feeling. She realized how full she felt as he sucked slowly as Natalie watched. Jay watched for a minute with a smile. It was an amazing sight watching her feed him. He gently laid the blanket on them and sat back down in the rocker.

He still couldn’t believe his babies were here and that he’d delivered them. He rubbed his little girl’s arm again. He couldn’t wait until they could hold her too. She looked like Lauren he thought and he was glad. He’d hoped she would.

He snapped a picture of her too. He couldn’t wait to show them off to everyone. They were perfect in his eyes.

After about thirty minutes Lauren was done nursing, and he went right back to sleep. He was sleeping good, making her smile. “You wanna hold him?” she asked Jay.

He nodded as he looked at her with a smile. “Wanna try skin to skin?” Nat asked and Jay nodded again. Lauren created the bond when she nursed and he was against her, and Nat knew it was important for the dad to have the same kind of bond.

“Alright, just take your shirt off and we’ll lay him against you. Then we’ll lay his blanket over yall so he doesn’t get too cold.” Lauren watched as Jay took his shirt off and got comfy.

She couldn’t help but feel tears gather as Natalie laid their little boy against Jay’s chest. It was such a beautiful sight seeing him holding their boy. Natalie laid a blanket over them as he slept soundly on Jay’s chest. Lauren wiped her tears as Natalie took a picture for them.

“He likes it,” Lauren smiled as she glanced back at their girl. She was dying to hold her but she knew she couldn’t yet. She reached in and rubbed her arm. “Mommy will hold you and feed you just as soon as I can baby girl,” she whispered.

She wiped her eyes as she watched her little girl rubbing her arm. After a while Jay noticed her wearing down. He nudged her gently with his foot. “Wanna go back and rest?”

She shook her head no, and Natalie couldn’t help but smile at them. She laid her hand on Lauren’s shoulder. “Why don’t you go back, show off those adorable pictures, and rest. We’ll come back at visiting hours and maybe everyone can come back with us?”

She really didn’t want to leave them, but she was sleepy. “Ok then,” she whispered. Natalie took the baby from Jay and laid him back down. Lauren pressed a kiss to her fingers and touched her little girl’s arm. “Mommy loves you and we’ll be back real soon. You keep getting better,” she whispered as tears fell.

Jay rubbed her shoulders and kissed the top of her head as she did the same to their boy. “We’ll be back soon,” Jay whispered to her as they headed back to her room. Lauren reached up and held on to his arm just needing to feel him as she cried.

He got her back to her room and Kelly and Shay were there asleep. “I’m going to find Will and I’ll be back,” Nat smiled as Jay got her settled back in the bed. She held on to him, so he laid down with her. She buried her head in his chest.

“It’s ok baby… it’s ok… we’ll go back soon,” he whispered rubbing her back. She held on tight as she slowly fell asleep.

Kelly and Shay woke up having heard her crying. “Everything ok?” Kelly asked worried.

“Yea. She just didn’t want to leave them.”

Kelly breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh good. So they’re ok?”

Jay nodded; “Besides the cpap they’re good. I got pictures,” he smiled tossing Kelly his phone.

Kelly and Shay scrolled through the pictures and oohed and awed over the twins. Will and Natalie came back and Will looked at the pictures with them. “So are you keeping the names secret forever?” Will laughed as he handed Jay back his phone.

“No. We’ll tell yall when we all go see them in a bit,” he smiled.

“We can go see them?” Shay asked.

“Yes, at visiting hours,” Nat smiled.

Kelly and Shay decided to run home and get Lauren’s bag and the diaper bag for them. They’d bring them the car seats later, but Kelly knew she’d want the babies to have their own blankets she’d gotten ready for them. They came back and found Jay and Lauren asleep making them smile as they curled up on the couch again.

Lauren and Jay slept for a couple of hours before Lauren woke up. She was ready to get back to her babies. Jay woke up feeling her moving; “Hey love,” he whispered adjusting so she was more comfortable.

“Hey.” She softly kissed his cheek. “I wanna go see our babies,” she whispered.

“Alright let’s see if it’s visiting hours yet,” he smiled.

He called Natalie and she told him she was on her way. Jay rubbed Lauren’s back. “Have I told you lately how amazing you are?” he whispered.

“Not lately,” she smiled.

“Well you, my dear, beautiful wife are simply amazing. You did so good today and I’m so proud of you. I love you so much.”

Lauren softly kissed him. “I love you too Jay.”

“You gave us two absolutely beautiful babies.”

“You helped,” she finally laughed.

“Yea I guess so. More than I wanted to today.”

Lauren laid her head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry about that,” she whispered. “I really didn’t think my water had broken. I thought I’d just peed again,” she said snuggling into his chest.

He kept rubbing her back. “It’s ok sweetheart. It all worked out. But next time, we’re not waiting,” he laughed.

Lauren looked up at him and smirked. “Who said there would be a next time?”

“Well… I mean... I just thought…”

She laughed and leaned up cutting his rambles off with a kiss. “I’m kidding babe. If you want more we will. Let’s just wait and see once the twins are older?...”

He smiled and softly kissed her. “Of course Lauren. I didn’t mean it would be like tomorrow.”

“Good. Because you gotta wait at least six weeks.”

Jay groaned a little making her laugh. “Seriously?”

“Yes seriously,” she said swatting his chest lightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

Jay kissed her forehead. “We can do it,” he smiled.

Just then Natalie and Will came in. “Ready to go see these love bugs?” Nat asked.

Lauren smiled as Jay helped her over into the wheelchair. They woke Kelly and Shay who had fallen asleep again after getting back to go with them. They all washed up inside the NICU and went over to the babies.

“Hey babies. We’re back. And we brought your aunts and uncles with us,” Lauren cooed to them. Natalie lifted the little boy out and handed him to Lauren.

“Guys, we want to introduce you to your niece and nephew. Meet Jayla Makay and Jayden Matthew Halstead,” Jay smiled.

“I love it,” Shay smiled as she rubbed the little girls’ arm.

They visited with the babies and Lauren was able to feed Jayden again before he fell asleep. Natalie told them Jayla was improving, but would be on the cpap through the night.

That night after ‘tucking’ the babies in, Jay and Lauren went back to her room. Kelly, Shay, Will and Natalie all went home for some much needed sleep with the promise to return with breakfast in the morning.

Lauren slept on Jay and woke twice to pump. She knew each time because she would get really sore and feel full. The nurses stored the bottles in the fridge with the twins’ names on them. Lauren would be glad when her babies were better enough so they could all go home.

Jayden and Jayla sure made an entrance into the world, but Lauren loved them more than she ever thought possible. She was excited to start this life with them now that they were here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the babies are here!!! :) hope you enjoyed and will let me know what you thought :)   
> Up Next: The twins first day and few weeks :)


	35. Hospital Stay

The next morning Jay woke up and just gazed at his sleeping wife. She was laying with her head on his chest sleeping peacefully. He was so amazed at her strength and resilience, and he loved her more than anything. He softly kissed her forehead as Will and Natalie quietly walked in to check on them.

“Hey guys,” Jay whispered.

“Hey brother,” Will smiled as they both sat down in chairs by the bed. “Good night?”

“Yea I think so. She woke up twice in the night to pump, but that’s it. No one said anything about the babies.”

“I checked on them before we came down,” Natalie smiled.

“And? They ok?”

She nodded. “They’re both as they were when you left them last night.”

Jay nodded. “How long are they going to have to stay Nat?”

“Depends. If Jayden continues to do good and can pass the car seat test, he could probably go home in the morning with yall. If not, he’ll have to stay a little longer. Jayla is still on the cpap so until she is completely off oxygen and gains a little weight, she’ll be here. But no worries, you can still visit her like now. She just stayed hidden for so long that brother got bigger first, and the cord around her neck didn’t help, but she’ll be fine.”

Jay nodded as he felt Lauren wiggling against his side trying to wake up. He smiled and softly kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. “Good morning beautiful,” he whispered.

Lauren smiled a little still half asleep. She slowly rolled on her back and woke up. “Hey there,” she whispered to him.

“We got company,” he grinned as she turned and looked at Will and Nat.

“Hey guys. The babies? Are they ok?” Lauren asked instantly awake.

“Yes sweetie; they’re fine. Just as you left them last night,” Nat said reassuring her.

“Oh… good,” she smiled. She was still sore all over, but she wanted to get to her babies.

“Wanna go see them and feed them breakfast?” Nat asked with a smile.

“Yes,” Lauren smiled big as Jay helped her up. Natalie went to get her a wheelchair right outside the hall. Lauren laid her head on his shoulder leaning against him. Jay wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. She leaned up and softly kissed him.

“I still can't believe they’re really here,” she whispered.

“I know. Nat said Jayden might get to go home with us tomorrow.”

Lauren teared up a little. She didn’t want to think about having to leave her babies here and go home without them. Jay rubbed her cheek. “It’s ok baby… they’re getting all the help they need so they can go with us soon. Besides we can come back and stay all day with them every day until they can come home.”

“I just don’t want to leave them…” she whispered as he wiped her tears.

“I know baby… I know,” he whispered rubbing her back. Natalie came back with the wheelchair, and he helped her into; they headed to the NICU. Lauren could tell she needed to nurse and she hoped Jayden would be awake. She couldn’t wait to see them.

They scrubbed up and Jay pushed her over. Will had already pulled the rocker over for him.

“Hey sweet babies. We’re here,” Lauren cooed as she reached in and rubbed Jayla’s arm.

Will handed Jayden to Jay. Lauren smiled. It was such a beautiful sight watching Jay with their babies. As Lauren rubbed Jayla’s arm, she slowly opened her eyes and looked at her.

“Hey sweet girl. Mommy sees you. You’re doing good baby, and before long, you’ll be better and we can hold you and rock you too.”

Jay smiled watching her talk to Jayla. She definitely looked like Lauren, but had his eyes. Lauren kept softly talking to her and rubbing her arm and fingers. They were feeding her through an IV with specialized formula until she was a little bigger. Lauren watched everything as Jayla closed her eyes to sleep again. “Mommy loves you baby girl,” she whispered.

Jayden started fussing and wiggling on Jay. He was trying to root against him, but it wasn’t working, and it was making him mad. Jay chuckled a little. “Hang on little man. Let me help mommy and you can nurse,” he cooed getting up to help her.

He held the blanket up as she fixed her gown. Jayden was screaming crying by the time they were done. “Here baby, it’s ok. Mommy’s right here,” she cooed taking him. She rubbed his cheek and rubbed him against her. He latched right on and started slowly sucking.

Jay carefully laid the blanket over them as he sat down to talk to Jayla.

“Hey sweet girl. I saw those big eyes a minute ago. You liked looking at mommy huh?” he cooed softly rubbing her little legs. She wiggled a little but stayed asleep. “We love you so much baby girl, and we can't wait to hold you and love on you too. Before we know it you’ll be as big as brother or bigger,” he chuckled.

Lauren couldn’t help but smile watching him. She was almost positive they were going to have a mommy’s boy and a daddy’s girl on their hands. Her heart was overflowing with love.

After another few minutes, she pulled Jayden loose to switch sides. He was not happy and started crying. Jay got up to help her as Jayla opened her eyes and watched them having heard her brother’s cries. Lauren got him latched back on the other side, and he went back to nursing.

“Someone must have daddy’s appetite,” she laughed. Jay laughed and kissed her forehead.

“Yea I guess so.”

“Look,” she whispered nodding towards Jayla.

Jay turned around and saw her awake. “Hey baby girl. You sure are beautiful and look just like mommy. Yes you do,” he cooed rubbing her arm. Jayla was watching his every move. Her little hand curled around his finger when he rubbed her hand.

Jay kept softly talking to her, and she fell back asleep. Jay walked over and checked on Lauren. Jayden had just finished up and slowly unlatched. She laid him up on her shoulder to burp. Jay softly kissed her forehead as he fixed the gown for her. “I’m so proud of you,” he whispered.

Lauren leaned up and softly kissed him; “Thanks babe. You’re doing pretty good yourself,” she smiled.

Jayden was looking around. “Want me to rock him?” Jay asked.

“Sure baby.” She softly kissed Jayden’s cheek. “Go rock with daddy baby and he’ll probably put you to sleep,” she whispered to the baby.

Jay carefully took Jayden. “Let’s see what you think about this little man,” he whispered settling back in the rocker. He carefully undressed Jayden and pulled the neck of t-shirt down some. He slid Jayden down against his chest and cradled him against him. He heard the baby’s soft sigh as he snuggled up under Jay’s chin. He was snug and warm against his daddy as they rocked.

Lauren couldn’t help but snap pictures of them. She would cherish these moments always. Jay was going to be the absolute best dad ever, she just knew it.

It wasn’t long and Jayden fell asleep sucking his thumb. “Someone likes their thumb,” she said glancing over and seeing them.

“Sweet boy,” Jay whispered.

“Need help?” she laughed seeing him trying to decide how to move him without waking him.

Jay chuckled; “Yea I guess so.”

Lauren slowly got up and walked towards them. She reached under his shirt and laid her hands on Jayden. “Now pull it off and I’ll get him,” she smiled. She’d use any excuse to see him shirtless and holding their baby.

Jay smirked but pulled his shirt off. Lauren carefully lifted Jayden off him. She slowly leaned in and softly kissed Jay. Once they broke the kiss, Jay slipped his shirt back on and laid Jayden’s blanket in his bed. They carefully swaddled the sleeping baby back up, and Jayden never woke.

Lauren softly kissed his cheek. “We’ll be back soon baby,” she whispered knowing they needed to get back and eat. Plus the doctor would be around soon to check her. She placed a kiss on her fingers and touched Jayla’s arm. “Sleep tight baby girl and we’ll be back before you know it,” she whispered.

Jay helped her settle back in the wheelchair. He knew she was really sore and that she probably would be for a little bit, so he was going to do whatever he could to help her. They got back to her room and got her settled. Will and Natalie had left them breakfast and they both ate.

As they were finishing up, the Dr. Braden came around and checked her. She told them, she would probably bleed off and on for the next four weeks and that it would take at least six weeks, maybe longer, to completely heal. The rest of the antibiotic would be finished by tonight, and they would be discharging her in the morning.

Lauren didn’t want to think about that. The thought of going home and leaving her babies here was tearing her apart inside. She wanted them with her, but she knew they weren’t ready. She almost felt like it was her fault, that she should’ve carried them longer or went to the hospital sooner so they would be ok.

After the doctor went out, Lauren rolled on her side and let a few tears fall. She just wanted her babies healthy and ok. Jay laid down behind her and softly rubbed her back. He knew something was up, but he was going to let her come to him when she was ready. Her body had been through a lot in the last twenty-four hours and he didn’t want to pressure her.

Lauren couldn’t take it any longer; she rolled over and snuggled into his chest and cried. He held her tight. “It’s ok love…. It’s ok. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. Everything is ok,” he whispered over and over.

She slowly calmed down and started relaxing in his arms like always. “Wanna talk about it?” he whispered still stroking and rubbing her back.

“It’s all my fault,” she whispered not meeting his eyes.

“What are you talking about Lauren?” he asked quietly tipping her chin up. Her beautiful eyes, were all red rimmed and puffy from crying, but she was still beautiful to him. He softly rubbed her cheek waiting for her to answer.

“I didn’t protect them and keep them safe. They came too early and now we have to leave them here tomorrow,” she cried.

Jay hated hearing her cry, much less blaming herself for something that was definitely not her fault. He held her tight. “This is not your fault Lauren. It’s not. Natalie had already told us that most twins are born early. They were ready to be here, and there was nothing you could do to change that.”

“But… I…”

“No buts baby. This is not your fault. They are going to be fine. Yes, it’s going to be hard going home without them, but they’re not going to be here forever. They will be home with us soon. Jayden might even get to go in the morning. They’re going to be ok baby.”

“I know,” she whispered calming down in his arms. Deep down she knew he was right, but these were her babies and she was going to have to leave them here. She slowly fell asleep as he held her close. He sent Kelly a text asking if they were coming to visit. When Kelly said they would be, he asked him to bring Jayden’s car seat.

He wanted it there just in case they wanted to test him in it in the morning. Kelly told him they would and they would be by in a little while. Lauren slept for a couple of hours and woke when she felt like she needed to nurse.

She wanted to try walking to the NICU this time, and Jay let her keeping his arm around her waist. Jayden was awake and pitching a fit when they got there. The nurse was just fixing to give him a bottle from where Lauren had pumped when she saw them.

“Perfect timing,” she smiled as Lauren settled in the rocker. “He’s a hungry one mommy,” she smiled handing Jayden to her.

“Oh my goodness little man. You’d think you were starving,” she cooed as Jay helped her get him to latch on. Jayden settled instantly as he started nursing. Lauren rubbed his cheek and watched him.

“Where’s his oxygen?” Jay asked noticing he wasn’t wearing any.

“Dr. Manning had us take it off about an hour ago to see how he would do because he was breathing better. He still has an O2 monitor to let us know if his oxygen levels drop any, but so far he’s done really well.”

“Oh, thanks,” Jay smiled. “See… he’s going to be fine,” Jay smiled rubbing Lauren’s cheek. He sat down and watched Jayla. It wasn’t long and Kelly and Shay came in.

“Hey guys,” Kelly smiled after they scrubbed in and walked over.

“Hey,” Lauren smiled switching Jayden to the other side. Jayla was awake and they were feeding her through her IV.

“How are these cuties?” Shay asked reaching in and rubbing Jayla’s leg.

“Jayden is doing really good. They’ve taken him off the oxygen to see how he’d do, and he’s eating good,” Jay laughed. “This cutie is breathing a little more on her own and they’ve turned down the oxygen just a little bit.”

Shay smiled rubbing her leg. Jayla was just watching Jay and holding on to his finger again. “Somebody likes daddy,” Shay cooed.

“Yes she does,” Lauren smiled. “She’s going to be daddy’s girl.”

They visited with the babies for little over an hour before they went back to Lauren’s room. Kelly and Shay left the car seat and went to get them supper. After they ate, they went back and saw the babies one more time before bed. Jayden was still breathing good on his own, and Natalie was hopeful he’d get to go home with them in the morning.

 

The next morning, Jay helped Lauren dress after the nurse removed her IVs. She was still sore and they were taking it easy. They were going home today, but he wasn’t sure how she was going to do with leaving the babies.

They headed down to the NICU. Jayden had been without oxygen all night and they wanted to do the car seat test to see if he could go home with them. They scrubbed in and carried the car seat over. Jay settled Lauren in the rocker as he got another one to sit in across from her.

She was slowly rocking talking to Jayla. Natalie came over with their nurse “Hey guys,” she smiled giving Lauren a hug.

“Hey Nat,” she said returning the hug.

“So going home?” Nat smiled.

Lauren nodded looking down. Natalie rubbed her shoulder; “I know. It’s going to be ok though.”

“Yea I know… I just… I don’t… I don’t want to leave them,” she said looking between her babies.

“I know... why don’t we see if little man can go with you?” Nat smiled.

“Yea, that’d be good,” Lauren smiled a little as she rubbed Jayla’s arm.

“Ok so the test goes like this. He’ll be in the car seat for an hour. If his vitals drop any, we’ll stop it and can't do it again until the next day.”

Lauren and Jay nodded both praying he’d pass.

Natalie picked Jayden up and handed him to Lauren. She let them put him in the car seat and buckle him in. She made sure he was in there properly and kept an eye on his vitals. Lauren and Jay rocked alternating between talking to Jayla and Jayden.

After about ten minutes Jayden woke. He looked around and tried wiggling, but he was strapped in his carrier. He hated it and started crying. Lauren reached down and rubbed his cheek trying to calm him down. She didn’t like seeing her baby upset.

Natalie noticed his oxygen level dropping slightly and she sighed. Jay saw her look and knew he wouldn’t be going with them.

“Go ahead and get him out,” she said rubbing Lauren’s shoulder. She knew what that meant.

“Come here mommy’s boy,” she cooed picking him up out of it. She rocked him and talked softly to him; Jayden started rooting at her. He was hungry she thought.

She reached for his blanket and Jay jumped up to help her. She got him situated and he settled.

“I’m sorry guys,” Nat said quietly. “It dropped just enough that we can't let him go yet.”

Lauren tried to bite back the tears as she let him nurse. “If he continues doing well off oxygen, we’ll try again tomorrow. I’m going to talk to your doctor and see if we can't keep you here tonight and let him try staying out in the room with you. If so, then maybe in the morning we’ll do the test again.”

“Thanks Nat,” Jay said wiping Lauren’s tears. Natalie left them to go talk to the other doctor.

“Maybe we’ll get to stay love. It’s going to be ok,” he whispered kissing her forehead.

They stayed with the babies for almost two hours before Natalie came back. Jay was rocking Jayden, skin to skin, and Lauren was just rocking watching them and Jayla. “Hey guys,” she said quietly.

“Hey,” Lauren smiled a little looking up at her.

“I have some good news for you.” Lauren looked at her hopeful. “We’re going to keep you tonight on the maternity floor and try him out in the room with you.”

“Oh good,” Lauren sighed.

“So why don’t we go get you settled and let you rest. Then you can come back later and visit with her some more.”

“Yea ok,” she said quietly.

Jay laid Jayden over in his bed as he grabbed Lauren’s bag and Jayden’s car seat. Natalie pushed Jayden’s bed, and Jay helped Lauren walk as they followed her. They got settled in the room and Nat left them with Jayden.

“This is going to be fun,” Jay smiled laying down in bed with her.

Lauren laughed a little; “I wouldn’t change it though. I just want to get them home.”

“I know baby. Soon we will though. Soon all four of us will be home.”

Lauren laid over on him. She was feeling tired, but she couldn’t quit watching Jayden.

“He’s ok baby. Why don’t you sleep? You need to sleep when they do until we get them on the same schedule,” he smiled rubbing her cheek.

“I just… I can't believe he’s in here. What if something happens?” she asked trying to look over at him better.

Jay pulled her back against him. “Relax love. We’re still at the hospital and he’s fine. Nat left the monitors on him, so it’s going to be ok. Just relax and sleep,” he whispered softly kissing her.

Lauren snuggled on his chest. “I couldn’t do this without you,” she whispered.

“I know. I couldn’t do it without you either Lauren.”

She smiled as he started playing with her hair. She was asleep within minutes. He softly kissed her forehead and glanced over at Jayden. He was still sleeping soundly so Jay closed his eyes and slept with them.

They’d been asleep about two and half hours when Jayden woke them up screaming crying. Lauren carefully sat up as Jay picked him up. “Hey sweet boy are you hungry?” he cooed to him carrying him back to bed.

Jayden had wiggled out of the blanket and was crying hard. Lauren had laid back against the bed and released her nursing bra. “Come here little man. Mommy’s here,” she cooed taking him. Jayden rooted around and Lauren carefully helped him find her nipple and latch on.

He sucked hungrily and Jay chuckled. “Goodness buddy, you were hungry,” he cooed rubbing his cheek.

“Just think, before long we’ll have two doing this,” she smiled.

“Yes we will,” he whispered kissing her cheek.

After Jayden nursed, they changed his diaper. Jay laid back on the bed by Lauren and laid Jayden on his chest. He was looking at them with sleepy eyes. Jay rubbed his back as Jayden laid on them.

“You’re mommy’s boy,” she whispered rubbing his cheek. She softly sang to him as Jay held him and he fell fast asleep.

Later, they went and saw Jayla for a bit. She was awake when they got in there; Natalie had lowered the cpap enough that they were able to take it off and switch her to just oxygen. “Look at you baby girl,” Lauren cooed excitedly rubbing her cheek. “Can we hold her?” she asked Natalie.

“Of course,” she smiled. Lauren settled in the rocker and Jay sat across from her. “Why don’t I hold this cutie and let yall have some time with her,” Nat said reaching for Jayden as Will walked in.

Jay reached over and carefully picked up Jayla and handed her to Lauren. “Hey pretty girl. You’re doing better aren’t you?” she cooed kissing her cheek. Jay couldn’t help but snap a picture of Lauren holding her for the first time.

He sent it to Kelly as he watched them. Will and Natalie had Jayden.

“Hey Nat,” Lauren said glancing over her shoulder. Jayla started rooting at her as they rocked.

“Yea?” Natalie asked walking over leaving Jayden with his Uncle Will.

“Can she nurse?” Lauren asked as Jayla kept rooting.

“You can try,” Nat smiled. “We tried a bottle earlier, but she wasn’t latching on. If she doesn’t now, we can do a feeding tube with your milk until she does.”

Lauren nodded as she released the bra and rubbed Jayla against her. Jay held the blanket over them so Nat could still watch her as Lauren tried to get her to latch. Jayla fussed and rooted. Lauren rubbed her nipple against Jayla’s lips. Jayla tried latching on, but she just couldn’t yet.

“Let me get the feeding tube,” Nat said as Jayla got more upset. She came back with it. “Ok just hold her hands for me, and I’ll put it in.”

Lauren held Jayla’s hands as she watched Natalie insert the tube down Jayla’s nose. Once it was in, Natalie taped it to her cheek to keep her from pulling it out. The nurse had brought over a syringe with milk and Natalie smiled her thanks.

“Ok sweet girl, let’s get you some milk,” Natalie cooed as she slowly pushed the milk through the tube. Jayla settled in Lauren’s arms as she rocked after Natalie was done.

“There you go love,” Lauren whispered rocking her and rubbing her cheek.

She looked at Jay who was just watching them. “You’re turn,” she smiled knowing he wanted to hold her.

Jay settled in the rocker as Lauren got up and walked towards him. He’d pulled his shirt off, and Lauren laid Jayla on his chest and laid her blanket over him. She thought her heart was going to burst watching them. Jayla was almost back asleep as he rocked her. He rocked until she went back asleep.

 

That night, Jayden did really well in the room with them. He woke every two to three hours to nurse and his oxygen levels stayed stable. The next morning they went down to the NICU. Natalie was waiting on them. “Good morning Nat,” Lauren smiled as she settled in the rocker by Jayla.

“Good morning guys. I hear he did really well. Didn’t need any oxygen and nursed good?”

Lauren nodded. “He did. He woke about every two to three hours and nursed, then went right back to sleep.”

“Good. Well try the car seat test again. Little miss is doing good. She’s still on about sixty percent oxygen and the feeding tube, but she had a good night.”

Lauren smiled as she carefully picked her up. “You’re mommy’s fighter aren’t you?” she cooed.

Lauren rubbed her cheek below the feeding tube. “Mommy loves you Jayla,” she whispered. Jayla was sleeping and Lauren held her close rocking.

“Why don’t we try Jayden in the car seat again? That way yall can go home and get some rest,” Nat smiled reaching for him. She strapped him into the carrier and settled in by them to watch the monitors. Jayden stayed asleep almost the whole time expect for the last five minutes.

He did not like being strapped in, but his oxygen level stayed steady. “Well I believe this little guy is ready to go home,” Nat smiled getting him out.

She passed him to Lauren, and she held both her babies together for the first time. Jay snapped a couple of pictures of them, setting one as his new phone background. He couldn’t quit smiling as he watched them. It was such a beautiful picture, his wife and their two babies.

Lauren rocked them until they both fell asleep. Natalie gently laid Jayla down for her. “Why don’t yall go home and rest? Get Jayden settled, enjoy being away from the hospital and then come back tonight.”

Lauren sighed. She really didn’t want to leave Jayla, but going home did sound nice.

“I’ll be here to keep an eye on her. I promise we’ll call if anything changes,” Nat smiled.

“Ok,” Lauren said quietly as Jay strapped Jayden into his car seat. She kissed Jayla’s cheek softly.

“We’ll be back soon sweet girl. Mommy and Daddy love you,” she whispered wiping at her eyes. Jay rubbed her back as he picked up Jayden and the diaper bag. He wrapped his arm around her waist as they headed out.

 

The babies were eight days old when Lauren was able to nurse Jayla for the first time. She finally had learned to latch on, and they were able to remove the feeding tube. She’d slowly been gaining weight and was doing better. They went every morning and stayed until lunch. Then they would come back late afternoon and stay until bed time.

The babies were only about an hour different on their feedings; she hoped once they were both home, they would get on the same schedule.

 

The babies were eleven days old, and Natalie had Lauren readmitted to try Jayla all afternoon and night in the room with them. She’d been off oxygen that morning and so far had stayed stable. Jay ran home and got them a bag and Jayla’s car seat. This was going to be their first night with both babies.

They got her settled in a room and brought Jayla to her. Kelly and Shay stopped by to see them. He loved seeing his sister in her role as mom. She was doing so good, and he couldn’t be more proud of her. They only stayed a little while and left the little family to adjust to having both babies.

Jayla did really well all afternoon and night in the room with them. Her oxygen level stayed stable and she nursed well. They didn’t get much sleep since the babies weren’t on the same schedule, but Lauren wouldn’t change it for anything.

The next morning, Natalie came by and they put Jayla in her car seat for the test. She slept the whole hour, and her vitals stayed up. “Well guys, little Miss Jayla can go home with yall today.”

Lauren was so excited. “I’ll go get her discharge papers, and then yall can take her home.”

“Thanks Nat,” Jay smiled as he got Jayden in his car seat to go home.

Natalie came back with Jayla’s discharge papers and a bag. “I have something for yall,” she smiled as Will walked in behind her.

“What’s that?” Lauren asked.

Natalie handed her the bag and she pulled out two beautiful crocheted baby blankets. One was pink and white and the other blue and white. “Nat…. these are beautiful,” Lauren smiled wiping at her eyes.

“Volunteers for the hospital make them for NICU babies,” she smiled.

“Oh… please tell them thank you,” Lauren said as Jay laid the blankets over the babies in their carriers.

“I will sweetheart. Yall get these cuties home. Don’t worry about supper tonight, we’ll bring something over when we get off.”

“Thank you guys,” Lauren said giving them both hugs. She slung the diaper bag over her shoulder as Jay picked up both carriers.

They said their goodbyes and took their babies home. It’d been a long twelve days, but Lauren was so glad that they were both finally well enough to be at home with them. It didn’t matter if she never got any sleep, as long as she had her babies and her husb


	36. Surprise Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry!! I just realized I never actually posted this! Hope you enjoy!

It took Lauren about two weeks to get the babies on the same schedule. They were a month old by the time they slept and nursed at the same time. It was interesting getting them to nurse together, but she finally got the hang of it and was glad. The babies were going about every two and half to three hours between feedings.

They had talked about when Jay needed to go back to work; they decided that after Lauren and the babies had their six weeks checkup he would. Lauren didn’t want to think about him going back because she’d gotten used to him being home with her all the time, but she knew he had too.

Their appointments were on Wednesday morning. Lauren’s was first and then they were going to have the babies checked out. They got to Dr. Braden’s office and checked in. They sat the babies in their carriers at their feet as they waited. They didn’t have to wait long and they were called back.

Luckily the babies slept through the entire appointment. Alex gave Lauren the all-clear. She’d completely healed and everything was looking good.

They had right at an hour until the babies appointments. They ran by the district so Jay could get everything straightened out with Hank about coming back. Lauren stayed in the car with the babies. They’d been there about five minutes when they both woke hungry. She got out and climbed in the back between them, not an easy task, but she did it.

“It’s ok babies; mommy’s going to get you.” She got both of them out and situated to nurse. She was getting better at getting them at the same time and she was thankful since Jay was going back to work.

She was still nursing when he came back. “Guess they woke up?”

“Yea they did. I just switched them a minute ago, so they should be almost done.”

Jay leaned back towards her and softly kissed her. She smiled against his lips; “How’d it go?” she asked.

“Good. Got all the paperwork filled out and signed. I start back Monday. He told me to just take the rest of this week off.”

“That’ll be good. Much better than starting mid-week.”

“Yea I know,” he smiled as Jayla unlatched. “Here I’ll burp her for you,” he smiled reaching for her.

“Thanks babe,” she smiled as Jayden slowly unlatched too. She laid him up on her shoulder to burp as Jay did the same with Jayla. After that, Lauren strapped them back in. Jayden still hated his car seat, but as long as one of them sat back there with him, he was content.

They headed over to the hospital to see Natalie for the twins check-up. She was waiting on them with a smile. “Hey sweet things,” she smiled at the babies. Both were looking around sleepily.

“They just finished eating so they’re probably ready to go back to sleep,” Lauren laughed.

“Oh goodness,” she laughed as she led them into a room. “Let’s do little man first,” she smiled as she got him out. “They both have to get shots today, but just give them some baby Tylenol and it should help. They’ll probably be fussy the rest of the night too.”

Lauren nodded as she handed Jayla to Jay. Natalie laid Jayden down and gave him a full exam. She weighed and measured him. “He’s looking good guys. He’s up to seven and half pounds which is really good. We’ll see how Jayla is doing and then get the shots.”

Lauren handed Jayden to Jay as she took Jayla. Natalie gave her the same exam; “Well she’s growing too. She’s up to six and a half pounds so she’s almost caught brother,” Natalie smiled.

“Oh my goodness baby girl,” Lauren cooed kissing her cheeks.

“Let me go get all these shots and I’ll be right back.”

Natalie came back with the shots; they each had to get four. Both of them screamed and cried with each shot and Lauren’s heart broke. She hated seeing her babies upset. “I’m so sorry babies,” Nat cooed kissing their cheeks.

Jay took Jayla, and Lauren took Jayden; they settled a little. “We’ll schedule them for their next appointment. They may run a slight fever and be fussy, but I promise it’s normal. If you think something’s off, just call me. Will and I are just staying in after shift.”

“Thanks Nat,” Lauren smiled as she got Jayden calmed down and almost asleep. Once the babies were back asleep, they strapped them into their carriers and headed home. Jayla ran a slight fever that night, and both were fussy and wanted to be held. Lauren didn’t mind; she loved holding and taking care of her babies.

 

Jay had been back to work for two and half weeks. Lauren had adjusted well, but she loved it when he came home. Shay and Kelly came by on most of their days off; Lauren was grateful because it gave her time to get a little bit done around the apartment while the twins were spoiled by their aunt and uncle. The babies were still doing really well and Lauren and Jay were thankful. So far they hadn’t had any more problems, and both seemed to be gaining weight and growing.

It was Friday and Lauren was looking forward to the weekend. They had talked about taking the babies to the cabin for the first time if Jay got off early like he thought he would. Lauren had packed their bags just in case, but she was starting to think it would be a weekend at home.

She really didn’t care as long as she could curl up with her husband and babies. She missed him while he was at work, but she loved nights and weekends. She’d just curled up on the couch to start looking for jobs for August when there was a knock at the door.

‘ _That’s odd,”_ she thought knowing Jay, Kelly and Shay were all at work. She glanced back towards the nursery and was thankful the twins were sleeping. There was another knock; Lauren slowly got up off the couch.

Her gun was on the counter in the kitchen where she could see it, and her phone was in her hand. She slowly walked to the door; she tried looking out but the peep hole was covered.

She was scared. She started dialing Jay as she walked back to get her gun. He didn’t answer; “Who is it?” she called making sure her gun was in her hand.

Still no one answered they just kept knocking. Lauren dialed Jay again as the knocking continued. She was afraid whoever it was would end up waking the babies and she did not want that.

Jay finally answered; “Hey baby. What’s wrong?” he asked seeing she’d called three times.

“Someone’s at the door. The peep hole is covered and they won't tell me who it is. They’re going to wake the babies though,” she said trying to control her breathing. She had to protect herself and the twins no matter what.

“I’m on my way,” he said jumping up from his desk. He knocked his knuckles on Mouse’s desk twice. It was their sign that they needed the other. Mouse jumped up and followed him leaving the rest of the unit confused.

“Go,” Hank said to the others knowing it must be important.

Mouse barely got in the car before Jay took off. He’d put his phone on speaker so Mouse could hear too.

 

Lauren couldn’t stand the knocking any longer. Whoever was on the other side had heard her talking so they knew she was there. She laid the phone on the table by the door and put the gun in the back waistband of her pants like she’d see Jay do. She didn’t take the chain off the door, but she unlocked it and slowly opened it.

Fear overtook her instantly and she froze. She could hear Jay talking through the phone, but she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. The person in front of her was talking too, but Lauren wasn’t comprehending.

Then she remembered her sleeping twins and she went into protective mode.

“Leave! Leave! You shouldn’t be here! You’re not supposed to be here! What are you doing here?! Get away!” Lauren screamed through the cracked door. Jay’s fear kicking in more hearing everything Lauren was saying.

“I just want to talk… please… I just want to apologize and make it right. I’m different now,” Erin cried as she tried to push the door open.

Mouse saw the panic in Jay’s eyes when they heard Erin’s voice. Mouse sent out a message to the rest of the team letting them know what was going on as Jay drove faster to get home to protect his family.

“Get away!!!! You’re going to try and kill me!!! I won't let you, I won't,” Lauren screamed. She was shaking, but she was not letting her anywhere near her.

Erin managed to reach in and undo the chain; she pushed the door the rest of the way open sending Lauren into full on panic mode. “Please, just hear me out. I’ve gotten help; I’m better. I just want to apologize and talk.”

Lauren reached behind her and pulled her gun. “Get away from me!” She screamed. Her hands were shaking and she knew she was unsteady, but she had to protect the twins. Erin froze seeing the gun pointed at her.

“Lauren, please, I just want to talk,” Erin cried. “I’m harmless. I’m different, just hear me out,” she pleaded.

Lauren couldn’t; all she could think about was protecting herself and her babies. “You’re going to kill me; you said you would. I can't let that happen. I won't,” she screamed.

Erin walked closer to try and get the gun out of her hand. Lauren panicked even more. “Don’t move…. Just don’t,” she screamed.

“Just listen to me, please,” she cried reaching out to touch her.

Lauren screamed as she backed away. Her finger slipped on the trigger in her efforts to get away from her and the gun went off. Both were completely silent and frozen. Lauren felt like she couldn’t breathe. Her gun had just went off; Erin was still standing there; Jay was screaming for her through her phone; the babies started screaming, but she couldn’t do anything, she couldn’t move.

 

Jay was panicking. They had heard the gunshot and then nothing. He barely got the car in park before he was jumping out. Mouse wasn’t far behind him. Jay ran up the steps faster than Mouse had ever seen him. He was screaming for her when he reached the top running for their apartment.

He slowed down when he saw them both standing there. Lauren was shaking all over, but her gun was still in her hands pointing in Erin’s direction. Neither looked to be hurt, but Erin was sobbing.

Jay walked over and put his hands on Lauren’s shoulder. “Baby… look at me. It’s ok, I’m here. Let me have it,” he said reaching for the gun.

Lauren wasn’t really seeing him. She was in shock, and she kept a tight grip on the gun.

Mouse came in with the rest of the team. He could hear the twins screaming from their room. He grabbed Adam by the arm and drug him to the nursery so they could take care of the twins. Hank and Al drug Erin out into the hall wrapping her in a hug making sure she wasn’t hurt.

Antonio and Kevin saw where the bullet had lodged in the floor and carefully dug it out.

Jay cradled Lauren’s face feeling relief that she nor the twins had been hurt. “Lauren, look at me. I’m here. You’re safe. I’m here,” he said making her focus on just him. He didn’t hear the twins anymore so he knew they were ok for now.

She slowly met his eyes and lost it. She started sobbing and reaching for him, dropping the gun in the process. Antonio carefully walked over and grabbed it laying it on the kitchen bar unloaded.

She clung to him as she cried hard. “I got you baby… I’m here,” he said picking her up and carrying her to their room. He stuck his head in the nursery on the way and Mouse motioned him to go on that they had them.

He carried her to bed; she clung to him when he tried to lay her down so he sat down holding her. He rubbed her back and held her close. “You’re safe baby. You’re safe. It’s all ok,” he whispered over and over.

“I… I… I… couldn’t… let her… near them… or me,” she sobbed.

Jay cradled her face and made her look at him. “You did good baby. I’m so proud of you. You’re safe. It’s over,” he whispered wiping at her tears.

“Why…. Why…. Why is she here?” Lauren cried.

“I don’t know… I don’t. No one said she was coming back. But she’s not going to hurt you or the babies. Ever.”

“The babies…. Oh god my babies,” she cried trying to scramble off him to get them.

He barely grabbed her before she tumbled off the bed. “Hey, hey, it’s ok. They’re fine. Mouse and Adam have them.”

“My babies,” she cried as he pulled her back to him tight.

“Lauren, they’re safe baby. I promise. I wouldn’t lie to you. The babies are fine. They have Uncle Mouse and Uncle Adam rocking them in their room. But if you go in there now, it’s just going to upset them again. Let’s just relax for a minute and we’ll get them.”

Lauren was crying into his shoulder and neck as he held her tight. He softly rubbed her back getting her to slowly relax into him. “There you go baby. It’s ok. Everything is ok,” he whispered.

There was a soft knock on the door. “Come in,” Jay called quietly.

Antonio stuck his head in; “Ok?” he asked just checking on them.

“Yea… yea we’re ok.”

He nodded. “She wants to talk to you,” he mouthed so Lauren wouldn’t hear. Jay nodded. He had quite a few things to say to her too.

“Will you have Mouse bring the babies in here and stay with her?” he asked Antonio.

He nodded and quietly closed the door back. Jay gently pulled Lauren’s head up to look at him.

“I want you to stay in here with the babies. Mouse is going to stay ok?”

“Where are you going?” she cried wrapping back around him.

“To find out what the hell is going on. I’m coming back baby. I promise. I’ll be right back.”

She didn’t want him to leave. She was afraid something would happen and somehow Erin would get him. She held on tight as Mouse and Adam walked in.

“I’m not going out there alone. I’ll be right back I promise,” he whispered kissing her forehead. “Look who’s here,” he said trying to get her to focus on the twins. Mouse sat down on the side of the bed and Adam handed him Jayden so he was now holding them both.

Lauren glanced over and saw her babies looking around. “My babies,” she whispered crawling off Jay to get to them. He smiled a little. She would do anything for them.

He and Adam snuck out leaving Lauren cradling both the babies and Mouse staying with her.

Antonio, Adam and Kevin walked out in the hall with Jay. They were not leaving him alone with Erin or Erin and Hank for this conversation, plus they thought they might need to keep him from exploding and losing his temper.

“Someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?” Jay asked

Antonio laid his hand on Jay’s shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. Erin was still crying and upset.

“I just wanted to talk… and apologize,” she cried not looking at him. Hank was rubbing her back trying to calm her down.

“Did you really think she’d want to talk to you after everything you said and did to her?!”

“I got help! I’m different,” she cried.

“That doesn’t matter. You kidnapped and threatened my pregnant wife! You said you would kill her!”

“I know… I know… but I came to apologize. I’m better, I’m moving back home. You need to know how sorry I am,” she cried.

“Great! Glad you got help. But stay the hell away from me, stay the hell away from my wife and don’t even think about coming near my kids!”

“Jay…. please, don’t be like this,” she cried reaching out to touch his arm.

Jay jerked back, but got right in her face. “Let me make myself very clear Erin. I’m glad you supposedly got help, but I don’t care. Until it’s proven to me that you’re different, you’re not in my eyes. And I mean it. Stay the hell away from my family.” With that he turned and went back into the apartment closing the door.

Mouse was still in the room with Lauren. She was still sitting in bed holding the babies. He saw Jay come back. “Ok?” Mouse asked quietly.

“Yea… yea I’m ok. Are they?”

“Yea I think so. She’s sat there and talked to them. I think they’re almost back asleep.”

“Thanks buddy,” Jay said quietly.

“Of course. That’s what I’m here for. Need me to do anything?”

“No… no I think we’re ok. I…. I need to get her out of here for the weekend or she’s never going to sleep,” Jay said quietly.

“Take her to the cabin. You’d already planned on it plus yall could use the little break.”

“Yea you’re right. Can you hang around for a bit and then help me get everything loaded?”

“Yea of course buddy. I’ll be out here,” he said nodding towards the living room.

“Thanks,” Jay smiled walking over to the bed. He sat down by her and softly stroked her back. “Hey… how about we take these two and go on to the cabin for the weekend?”

Lauren looked at him with her red-rimmed eyes and nodded. She wanted to feel safe and get out of the city so the cabin sounded perfect. “I already packed our bags,” she said quietly.

“Good. Then let’s get these two in their carriers and head out.”

Just then Jayden started fussing and rooting. Jay chuckled. “Or let’s feed them so they don’t starve and then go.”

Lauren finally smiled. She passed him Jayla and laid Jayden on her legs making him madder as she moved her shirt and unhooked the bra. “Well hang on buddy. Mommy’s getting it,” she smiled picking him up.

Jayla woke at his cries and started fussing too. “Oh I know. Come here sweet girl. Mommy’s not forgetting you,” she cooed as Jay handed her Jayla too. Both babies latched right on and started nursing.

Jay knew it had been a hard day. He climbed behind her on the bed and laid her back against him as the babies nursed. He softly kissed her shoulder and cheek as he held Jayden for her. She could hold both at the same time, but he liked helping her as much as possible. Lauren turned and softly smiled at him.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He softly kissed her; “I love you too baby.”

Jayden and Jayla were both watching them. They’d just started watching her or them more as they nursed. They’d both come out with their daddy’s eyes and Lauren loved it. “Mommy loves you two,” she cooed softly to the babies.

Once they were done, Jay got their carriers and they strapped them in. It was still mid-afternoon so they would have plenty of time to get to the cabin. Mouse carried their bags down as Jay carried the babies. Lauren was just glad to be getting out of the apartment for a couple of days.

She needed the relaxation and serenity the cabin brought, and she was glad they were finally able to take the babies. Luckily they both slept on the way up; Lauren kept looking out the back to make sure no one was following them. Jay kept squeezing her hand reassuringly, but until they were at the cabin, she wouldn’t feel safe.

They made it after two hours. Jay got her and the babies inside then got their bags. He heard her sigh of relief as she settled on the couch with the babies. He sat down by her taking Jayla as she held Jayden.

“We’re safe,” he smiled kissing her forehead.

“I know. I was just so scared, and I froze.”

“You did fine baby. You did what you were supposed to and I’m proud of you.”

“The gun… it… she tried to touch me, and… and… my finger it slipped.”

Jay turned her chin to look at him. “You did what you had to to protect you and our babies. That’s why you have it baby. It’s protection and you did what you had to. I’m so proud of you Lauren.”

She looked at him and he softly kissed her. “I couldn’t let her hurt me or the babies. I couldn’t go through it again and I knew you couldn’t either.”

“You did good. You’re all three right here where you belong,” he smiled as Jayla started throwing a fit. She was hungry again. Her cries woke Jayden. “Let’s get these two fed and in bed. Then we’ll curl up together,” Jay said.

Lauren nodded liking the sound of that. She just needed to be in his arms and know she was safe. She had no idea why Erin was back and she didn’t care, but she would do whatever it took to protect her family because no one, especially Erin, was going to hurt or take her or her babies, ever. She would protect them until she died.


	37. Can't Live Without You

Jay and Lauren stayed at the cabin all weekend. The babies were happy and adjusted to the new space well. Lauren felt safe there and didn’t want to leave, but she knew they had to go back home. Finally, late Sunday afternoon they packed up and headed home.

Antonio had told Jay that Erin was back, but not in the unit yet. She wanted her spot back, and while it had been held for her, the Commissioner insisted on a trial period to test her mental stability. They were going to slowly work her back in. Jay wasn’t happy, but it was out of his hands. He swore to Lauren he would never be partners with her and that he would keep her and the twins safe. Lauren believed him; she knew Jay loved her and the babies and would do anything for them.

Monday he went back to work, and while Lauren was anxious about being alone and Jay having to be around Erin again, she knew she had to suck it up or she’d end up upsetting the babies. Around lunch Shay came over and Lauren was thankful. After the babies nursed, the girls curled up on the couch with them.

“So you ok?” Shay asked quietly.

Lauren nodded; “Yea, yea I’m ok. She uh… part of her deal was that her position would be held pending treatment. The Commissioner is giving her a trial period to work her way back to the unit.”

“How does Jay feel about that?”

“He doesn’t like it, but he can't really do anything about it. Her deal was made before he was told anything. He’s going to make them give him a copy of her psych report from the treatment center too.”

“Think they will?” Shay asked as Jayla snuggled against her in her sleep.

“He said it wasn’t going to be an option.”

“Good for him,” Shay smiled kissing Jayla’s forehead. Jayden was snuggled on Lauren already the total definition of a mama’s boy. The girls watched a movie that afternoon until Jay came home. Once Jay got home, Shay went home to Kelly.

It had been a long day for him, and he was so glad to be home with his wife and babies. The twins were in the floor on their play mat playing and looking around. Jay sat down on the couch and pulled Lauren into his lap. “I’m so glad to be home,” he smiled softly kissing her.

Lauren smiled against his lips before laying her head on his shoulder watching the twins. “How was it?” she asked tentatively since neither baby had noticed daddy was home yet.

“It was ok. She’s on patrol for at least a week. She passed the psych eval and the treatment center said she’d completed all steps of her program and appeared stable and functional for society.”

Lauren was running her fingers through his hair “I know she’s eventually going to get her spot back, but I’ll never trust her,” she whispered.

Jay rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. “You never have to. I made it clear to Voight today that I would never ever, ever work with her as a partner again.”

“What did he say?”

“I didn’t have to,” he smiled as Jayla squealed seeing her daddy was home. They got down in the floor and played with the babies until they got hungry and sleepy.

 

It’d been two and a half weeks since Erin had been back in Chicago. She’d done patrol for a week and a half, and she’d been riding the desk in Intelligence the other week. Hank told her she would be permanently partnered with Antonio, no questions asked. She’d expected as much based on Jay’s reaction outside his apartment that night. She knew he didn’t want anything to do with her which made it hard to sit across from him day in and day out in the bullpen without so much as a glance from him. She tried not to let it bother her because she really was better, but it still sucked that she had fucked up their partnership. Jay worked with Kevin or Adam each day, and he would leave as soon as they were free to get home to his family.

The babies were almost three months old. They had been doing really good, and Lauren was so glad. Next week they were going to have family and three month pictures made, and Lauren was going through making sure they had all their outfits ready while the twins were asleep. She wanted to make sure she had everything they needed for all the different poses she’d picked.

Once the babies woke, they were going to visit Jay at the district for lunch. They’d started doing it last week, one day a week. It gave her a chance to get out of the apartment for an hour or so, and it gave the guys a chance to see the babies without having to come by the apartment. Jayden and Jayla both loved seeing their “uncles,” but they especially loved seeing Mouse. He usually came over at least once a week to watch a game with Jay, so they knew him better and definitely had him wrapped around their little fingers like everyone else.

Once the babies woke, she dressed them and strapped them in making sure she had everything in the diaper bag. She was just about to walk out the door when her phone started ringing. She groaned having to put everything down to dig it out. “Mouse?” she answered. He rarely called so she knew something was up.

“Hey Lauren. What are you doing?”

“About to head to the station. Why? What’s going on Mouse?”

“Stay there. Kelly and Shay are coming there.”

“Why Mouse?” she whispered feeling fear overtake her.

“They’re going to keep the twins and you’re going to ride with me.”

“Mouse, just tell me!”

He was quiet for a minute. “Jay’s at Med. Something happened on a bust. I don’t have the details, I just know I’ve got to get you to Med.”

Lauren couldn’t speak. She was staring at her babies frozen with Mouse’s words running through her head.

“Lauren? You there?”

“Yea…. Yea… yea… oh god,” she cried sinking to the floor in tears. She didn’t want the babies to see her like this, but she couldn’t stop it.

“Just hang on sweetie. We’re almost there,” Mouse said. He had about a two minute head start on Kelly, but knowing Kelly he’d be there at the same time or before.

The babies were confused and seeing her so upset, upset them. They started crying in their carriers.  

Mouse pulled up at the same time as Kelly and Shay were running for the door. “You’ll have to use your key,” he called to them. Kelly nodded and they ran up the stairs. They could hear the babies crying out in the hall, and Kelly unlocked the door as quickly as possible. The sight in front of them broke their hearts.

Shay got both carriers and went to the nursery to calm the babies. Kelly scooped up his sobbing sister and she held on tight. “It’s ok sis. He’s going to be ok,” he whispered as Lauren clung to him. She’d already gone through this once when he’d been redeployed, and she didn’t know if she could again. She couldn’t lose him, not after everything they’d been through, not like this. She needed him, the twins needed him.

Kelly carried her downstairs to Mouse’s car. She clung to him and begged him to stay with her through her tears. It literally broke his heart. He buckled her in and cradled her cheek. “I’ve got to stay and take care of the babies. Will is there and so is Mouse. You’ll be ok and so will Jay. Call me ok? I love you Sis.”

Lauren nodded as he kissed her forehead. He closed the door and watched them speed off before going up to help Shay. Luckily both babies had calmed by the time he got back upstairs.

“She ok?” Shay asked quietly as he took Jayla from her. The little fighter having a special place in her Uncle Kelly’s heart. The four of them went and curled on the couch.

“No. She begged me to stay with her. She’s terrified.”

“Oh Kel. Go. I’ll be fine with them.”

“Will knows she’s coming and Mouse and the rest of the team is there.”

“Kelly, go. Seriously. They were there with her last time. She needs her big brother. I’ll be fine with these two.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, babe. Go,” she smiled.

“I’ll be back soon,” he promised kissing her softly. He handed Jayla back to her and kissed both babies before going to Med.

 

When Kelly got there, Maggie pointed to where they were. Will had her in the break room away from everyone, and when he saw Kelly, he opened the door for him. Lauren saw him and jumped into his arms, holding tight as she cried. “It’s ok lil bit. I’m here,” he whispered sitting down with her.

“How is he?” Kelly asked Will as Natalie joined them.

“Shay got the babies?” she asked and Kelly nodded.

“I just finished shift. Want me to go help her?”

“Please,” Kelly said and Natalie nodded. She gave Will a tight hug and gentle kiss. “Keep me updated,” she whispered and he nodded.

Lauren’s sobs had turned into quiet cries on Kelly’s shoulder. “He’s in surgery,” Will said to Kelly’s previous question. “The bullet went between his neck and vest so shoulder area. That’s all they’d tell me.”

It was driving him crazy not being in there, but it was hospital policy and he didn’t need to do anything to ruin the chance of a permeant job here. Every so often he’d go check with Maggie for an update but she didn’t have one. Lauren eventually cried herself to sleep on Kelly.

They’d been there for a couple of hours when Conner Rhodes walked into the breakroom.

“Well?” Will asked quietly.

“He’s stable. We were able to remove the bullet. He lost a good amount of blood so we gave him a blood transfusion. He also took at least one maybe two or three to the vest. Nothing is broken, but he’s badly bruised. He’s on a ventilator to help his body heal. I’m hopeful he’s going to make a complete recovery Will, but you know it’s up to him at this point.”

Will nodded. He knew Conner was right and that they’d done everything they could. “What room?”

“He’s still in recovery for another twenty minutes and then he’ll be in 1530.”

“Thanks,” Will said knowing that was one of the private rooms. Conner nodded and headed back out. Kelly let out a soft sigh as he softly rubbed Lauren’s back. He needed to wake her to tell her and she needed to go home and nurse or pump, but he knew that was going to be a fight. “Hey sis, wake up,” he whispered.

Lauren moaned and turned her face into his neck making him chuckle.

“Come on Lauren, wake up,” he said rubbing her back and moving her a little.

“Kel?” she said sleepily as she rubbed her eyes.

“Yea lil bit it’s me,” He said as she woke up and looked at him. The nickname kept slipping out; he knew it was a comfort to her right now so he didn’t try to stop it. “Jay’s out of surgery. They removed the bullet and had to give him blood. His chest is also bruised from taking some to the vest. He’s on a ventilator to let him heal.”

“Can I see him?” she whispered.

“In about ten minutes. They’ll be moving him to a room. I think you need to go home for a little bit, rest and see the babies.”

Lauren adamantly shook her head no. She wasn’t leaving until she knew he was going to be ok. Kelly sighed. “You need to at least pump sis.”

Lauren looked around; she realized she had nothing with her. “I… I…”

“I know. If you won't go home even for a few minutes I can run get you whatever you need,” Kelly said quietly.

“Please, Kel,” she whispered. She did not want to leave Jay yet.

“Yea I will. Just have Shay or Natalie get it all together in a bag,” he said handing her his phone. Once the call was done, he left her to go with Will to Jay’s room while he ran to their apartment to get her stuff. He was bringing food back too and making her eat.

 

Will kept Lauren close as they walked to Jay’s room. He knew what to expect on the other side of that door, and he wanted to make sure she’d be ok. He’d updated the team before they came back. They all said they would be there.

Will turned to her before he opened the door. “You ready?” he asked quietly.

Lauren took a deep breath and nodded. Jay needed her and she would be there for him. Will slowly pushed open the door. It was quiet except for his heart monitor and the ventilator. Lauren’s hands were shaking but she tried to hide it. Will pulled a chair by Jay’s bed for her.

She carefully grabbed his hand as she looked him over. He was pale and still and her heart was breaking. She needed him so much; she couldn’t lose him. “Jay,” she whispered biting back the tears as she brushed his wayward curl from his forehead.

Will settled on the couch after looking all the monitors over. He was still stable and that let Will breathe a small sigh of relief. They just needed him to wake up now.

Lauren rubbed her thumb over the back of his hand as she watched him. She was trying so hard not to break, but she was finding it more and more difficult to hold it in. The tears slowly started falling down her cheeks. “You can't leave me Jay. I need you, our babies, they need you. You need to fight; come back to me baby, please,” she whispered kissing the back of his hand.

Will’s heart broke for his sister-in-law as he watched her beg and plead with Jay to wake up. Kelly was back within an hour. He had her clothes and her pump and kisses from each baby. He also had dinner for the three of them. Lauren tried pushing the food away, but Kelly insisted she needed to eat, for the babies. Will backed him on it, and she gave in.

After they made sure she ate enough, despite feeling like she wanted to throw it back up, Lauren covered with Jay’s favorite Blackhawks blanket that she’d had Kelly bring and pumped. He was keeping them in a lunchbox/cooler with an ice pack until he went back home.

Nurses were in and out every hour checking on him and adjusting IVs as needed. After sitting with him for three hours with no change, Will went to tell the team to go home. Mouse was the only one who refused to leave and Will understood bringing him back to the room with them.

Once Mouse was in there, Lauren couldn’t take it any longer. “I need to know what happened,” she said quietly never letting Jay’s hand go.

Mouse looked between Will and Kelly and Kelly instantly knew it wasn’t going to be good. “Why don’t we skype the babies. They miss mommy,” he smiled at her.

Lauren sighed. “Yea ok,” she said glancing at Jay. “I don’t want them to hear all this. I’ll go out in the hall,” she said taking the phone. “But I will get answers Kelly.”

“I know. But maybe the answers aren’t what you need right now. Focus on getting him awake and then answers will come later.”

She knew he was right so she didn’t argue. She took his phone out into the hall and skyped Shay. She and Natalie had just finished feeding the babies a bottle and were fixing to put them down for the night. They were sleepy and fussy, and Lauren cooed and talked to them softly. She hated she wasn’t there. She missed their nightly routine, but with Jay here, she needed to be here.

As Jayden and Jayla listened to her softly talking to them like she always did, they drifted off to sleep in their aunts’ arms. “Thank you so much,” Lauren told them quietly.

“Of course sweetie. Don’t you think twice about it. We love being able to love and spoil on them,” Shay smiled.

“Exactly. We’ll gladly do this to help you Lauren. We love you.”

Lauren bit back more tears. “I know. I love yall too. Kiss my babies for me, and I’ll talk to yall tomorrow.”

They ended the call and Shay and Natalie tucked the babies in while Lauren went back to Jay’s room. She sat back down in the chair holding his hand and softly begging him to please wake up. She eventually cried herself to sleep again not knowing if she’d ever see those beautiful blue eyes again or not.

 

The next morning when she awoke she noticed two things right off. One, she needed to pump, and two she was alone with Jay. She had no idea where Will, Kelly and Mouse were, but she wasn’t worried. She covered up with his blanket and pumped. She put them in the lunchbox noticing the other bottles were gone which meant Kelly, or someone, had gone home sometime. Jay was still sleeping and she was breaking.

She sank down in the floor by his bed and sobbed, body wracking sobs. She couldn’t be a single parent… she couldn’t lose him. He was her other half, her soulmate, the father to her babies and she needed him so much. She cried so hard she thought she was going to throw up. She was crawling towards the bathroom as the sobs continued when Kelly and Will walked in.

Kelly saw her first and ran to her picking her up. She pointed to the bathroom and he got her in there just in time for her to throw up all in the toilet. Will came to help him giving him a cold wash cloth as Kelly held her telling her everything was going to be ok.

Once she calmed down some, Will asked her what happened and she wouldn’t look at either one of them. “I just…. I…. dunno…. I broke,” she whispered as tears continued falling down her cheeks silently. “I just cried too hard,” she whispered.

Kelly held her to him. “It’s ok sis. It’s going to be ok. You’re not alone and Jay’s going to be fine,” he said holding her tight. Lauren wanted to believe him so bad that she didn’t say anything. Kelly picked her up and carried her back to the room. He tried to lay her on the couch, but she protested saying she needed to be near him so Kelly gave in.

Lauren slept a couple more hours in Kelly’s lap sitting by Jay. Mouse had returned too and was sitting with Will. Lauren roused when she felt like she needed to nurse. “Go home lil bit and see your babies. He’ll be fine,” Kelly said to her.

She did miss her babies. “Ok,” she said quietly getting up and getting the lunchbox with the bottles. “Promise you’ll call?”

“Yes,” Will said with a smile.

Lauren nodded as she leaned over Jay. She softly kissed his forehead. “I’m going home to see our babies for a few minutes. Don’t you give up Jay. You come back you hear. We need you so much,” she whispered softly kissing his cheek. “I’ll be back soon baby,” she whispered in his ear before she left.

When she got home the babies were so happy to see her. Lauren was utterly exhausted and looked like hell, but she smiled big seeing her twins. “Hey little loves. Have you had fun with Aunt Les and Aunt Nat?” she cooed taking them both.

The babies were smiling and cooing at her, and it was the first real smile she smiled since yesterday at lunch. “I’m gonna go feed them,” she said quietly taking them to her room.

She grabbed hers and Jay’s pillows and placed them on each side of her. She laid the babies on them as she got ready to nurse. Both latched on hungrily, and she rubbed their cheeks. “I’m sorry mommy and daddy weren’t here last night or this morning. But daddy is hurt, so mommy is having to take care of him. I promise he’s going to get better, and he’ll be back home loving on you two before you know it,” she said biting back the tears. She wasn’t sure if what she was saying was true, but she prayed it was.

After the twins nursed, she snuggled with them for a little bit. “Ok babies, mommy has got to get back and take care of daddy. You be good for your aunts and mommy loves you,” she cooed kissing their cheeks. Both were sound asleep, so she took them and laid them in their crib.

She went back out. “You should be ok on bottles for a little bit. One of them will bring more tonight,” Lauren said quietly. Both Shay and Natalie gave her tight hugs. “I’ve got to get back,” she whispered. They nodded as she headed out.

She was almost back to Med when Will started calling. Lauren tried not to panic as she answered.

“Where are you?” he asked quietly. She could hear a lot of background noise, but she couldn’t make anything out.

“Fixing to be pulling into Med. Why? What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s ok. He’s awake and he’s fighting the ventilator. He keeps looking around so I think he’s looking for you.”

“I’ll be right there,” she said hanging up and parking. She jumped out and ran into Med running for his room. She slowed down right outside the door and took a deep breath. She pushed the door open and the blue eyes she loved so much locked on hers.

She couldn’t help the tears that started again. She flew to his side, sitting down on the bed cradling his cheek. “You’re ok. I’m here. It’s ok,” she whispered seeing him calm. “I just went home to feed our babies and I came right back,” she said kissing his forehead.

He wasn’t fighting now, and she felt him relaxing making her relax. He was watching her every move, turning his cheek into her hand more. “I’m here, I promise,” she whispered. With his good arm, he reached up and wiped her tears making her smile.

She softly kissed his forehead. “I’m so glad you’re awake. I was so scared,” she whispered. Jay rubbed her cheek as Dr. Rhodes walked in.

“It’s so nice to see you awake Detective,” he smiled walking over by Jay’s bed. Lauren moved to get out of his way, but Jay kept his hold on her hand. Conner checked his vitals and noticing they were stable he told Jay he was going to remove the ventilator. Jay nodded and kept his hold on Lauren’s hand not wanting her far. She gave it a reassuring squeeze so he’d know she wasn’t leaving.

Once the ventilator was removed, Will gave him some water to sip to soothe his sore throat. Once he could talk a little Conner asked him the normal questions. Jay could answer every one knowing where he was, why he was there, the date, where he worked, and that he was married and had twins. After that, Conner left telling them to get some rest and he would be around tomorrow.

Jay was watching Lauren closely. She kept rubbing her thumb on his hand; she looked exhausted but still so beautiful to him. He sent Will a look asking him to give them a minute and Will nodded. Once he was gone, Jay tugged on her hand to get her to look at him. Lauren slowly met his eyes. “Come here,” he whispered and she shook her head looking down. She was trying so hard to hide her tears.

“Lauren…. Come here please,” he whispered tugging on her hand again.

“I can't hurt you Jay,” she said quietly.

“Lauren Kathleen come here,” Jay said tugging hard.

Lauren looked up and she couldn’t hide her tears. She crawled into the bed on his good side and sobbed into his shoulder as he rubbed her back with his good arm. Kelly came in and saw them before quietly going back out giving them time.

“I’m here baby. It’s ok. I’m ok,” he whispered over and over trying to reassure her.

“I…. almost… lost…. you,” she sobbed. “Can't…. lose you…. I just can't.”

“I’m right here. I’m not leaving you love. I’m not,” he whispered.

It wasn’t long and she’d cried herself to sleep. Kelly and Will returned and found her sound asleep curled into him. Jay was drifting too. “Does she know?” he asked them quietly.

“No. Mouse couldn’t tell her,” Will said.

Jay barely nodded. “Do yall know?”

“Pieces,” Kelly said. “But it’s not important. You get some sleep and you can tell us later.”

Jay nodded as he drifted off holding his girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well another chapter… any ideas what happened to Jay??? Let me know what you thought :)  
> Up Next: Recovery


	38. Recovery

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cherrifan82 and NALEY23alwaysforever hope this doesn’t disappoint ;) Thank you for your reviews each time and I hope you continue enjoying this. As always thanks to firstamamawifeafriend for her help with this :) and justkillingtimewhileiwait when you get this far the conversations will finally make sense ;) lol enjoy yall! :)  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago PD, Chicago Fire or any of its characters.

Jay and Lauren both slept through lunch. He woke first and groaned when he tried to move his arm which woke Lauren. “What’s wrong?” she whispered instantly awake.

“Just tried to move,” he moaned.

Lauren looked around and saw Will and Mouse asleep. She hated to wake them, but she hated seeing Jay in pain. She pushed the button for the nurse despite Jay insisting he was fine. She kissed his cheek and slid into the chair. She really needed to pump; she was full and hurting, but she didn’t see the lunchbox, which meant Kelly had gone home.

His nurse came in; “Everything ok sir?”

“He moved when he woke up and his arm is hurting,” Lauren said knowing Jay would keep insisting he was fine.

“No more pain meds,” he mumbled as Lauren squeezed his hand.

“Jay it’s fine. Take the medicine so you’re not in pain,” she begged.

“She’s right,” Will mumbled sleepily having heard them.

“Fine,” Jay gave in as the nurse gave him some more pain meds. Jay was watching Lauren close. “What’s wrong baby?”

“Nothing,” she said with a smile.

“Lauren….” Jay said giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “I know you. What is it?”

Lauren sighed. He had her there. “Just need to pump. I’m fine.”

Before Jay could say anything, Will handed her the pump and Blackhawks blanket. “Thanks,” she whispered covering up. She was so sore, but she tried to hide it knowing Jay was watching her. “I’m fine babe,” she smiled to reassure him.

“Go home. Hot bath, relax,” he whispered seeing through her smile to the pain in her eyes.

“No. I’m fine. You need me so I’m here.”

“I’m fine. Gonna sleep,” he mumbled fighting the pain meds. “Go see babies,” he mumbled.

Lauren sighed softly; a hot bath and seeing her babies sounded amazing, but she didn’t want to leave him.

“We’ll be here,” Will smiled. “Just go relax for an hour or so and when you come back he’ll probably be waking up again.”

“Ok,” Lauren said giving in. “Promise you’ll call if something changes?”

“You know I will Sis.”

Lauren nodded as she finished pumping. She felt slightly better, but knew a hot bath would help. She unhooked and gathered up her stuff, leaving the blanket for when she got back. She gently covered Jay with it. “I’ll be back soon I promise,” she smiled as she softly kissed him.

Jay nodded and mumbled an “I love you,” before he couldn’t fight the medicine any longer and fell asleep.

“Thanks Will,” Lauren said as she headed home. Both babies were asleep on Kelly’s chest and he was asleep too when she got there.

“Hey sweetie,” Shay smiled giving her a hug.

“Hey,” Lauren said quietly.

“How’s Jay?”

“He’s ok. Sleeping right now, but he made me come home for a bit.”

“Of course he did,” Shay smiled.

“Yea. Here’s some more bottles. I’m going to go soak for a bit. I’m sore.”

Shay took the bottles. “Go relax and just yell if you need anything.”

“I will,” Lauren smiled as she went to their bathroom. She wished Jay was there with her; he always made her feel better when she was hurting. She sighed as she sank into the warm water. It felt heavenly.

She soaked until the water turned cold. She got out and felt mostly better. She dressed in a pair of leggings and one of Jay’s Blackhawks shirts. They were too big on her but they were his and they were comfy. At the moment that was all she wanted.

When she went back out to the living room, the twins were awake. They lit up seeing her which made her smile. “Hi my babies,” she cooed as they wiggled and reached for her.

“Oh come here little ones,” she smiled taking them both. She snuggled and played with them for about an hour. “I’ve got to get back and take care of daddy. We’ll be home soon,” she cooed kissing both their cheeks. She gave them back to Shay since Kelly was still asleep. “Thanks so much Les,” she whispered as she headed back out.

Once she got back, Jay was still asleep, but Will and Mouse were awake. “Hey,” she smiled sitting back down in the chair by his bed.

“Feeling better?” Will asked and she nodded.

“He been asleep the whole time?” she asked and they both nodded. A comfortable silence had fallen over them until Lauren broke it. “Mouse?” she whispered watching Jay’s chest rise and fall.

“Yea?”

“I need to know what happened.”

Panic fell across his features; “I don’t know much.”

She gave him a look. “I really don’t. They um…. They’re….. uh… they’re waiting on ballistics to get back.”

“Why?”

“Because… they…. They think… he was uh… hit with two different bullets but they’re not sure.”

Lauren was quiet for a minute; “So… two different suspects got the drop on him?” She was really confused because Jay was such a great shot and detective that she couldn’t imagine two different people getting the drop on him.

Before Mouse could reply, Jay mumbled a no.

“Hey baby,” she smiled sitting on the side of the bed rubbing his cheek. “You ok?” she asked.

Jay nodded as he watched her. She gave him a small smile as she ran her fingers through his hair. “You in pain?” she whispered.

“No. I’m ok. You deserve to know what happened.”

“Jay its fine. You need to rest,” she smiled softly kissing him.

“I’m fine, really,” he smiled reaching up to rub her cheek.

Before anything else could be said, the team, minus Erin, walked in to see him. Lauren was secretly glad although she wouldn’t tell anyone that. They all talked to Jay and told him they were glad he was recovering. Hank told them that Erin was meeting with IA and they would probably come by to ask Jay questions as well. Jay just nodded at this; Lauren was definitely going to have to ask about that later. The team didn’t stay long because they had to get back to work.

Once they left, Jay patted the bed wanting to feel Lauren beside him. She gave him a smile and laid down by him. “Rest sweetie,” she whispered kissing his cheek. It wasn’t long and he was out holding her against him. Will had gone to get them dinner so it was just Lauren and Mouse.

“Why would IA be talking to Erin and then Jay?” Lauren asked him quietly.

Mouse sighed. “Jay wasn’t hit by two perps. They’re waiting on ballistics to see if the bullets in his vest match the one in his neck. If so then it’s nothing. If they don’t match then that would mean he was hit by a team member,” Mouse said not looking at her. He had a feeling he already knew the answer, but he needed ballistics to confirm it.

Lauren laid her head on Jay’s good shoulder and sighed. “I wanna know what happened,” she whispered.

“I don’t have the answers yet,” Mouse said.

Lauren sighed but accepted it. She knew she was going to have to wait on Jay to tell her. She listened to the steady beat of his heart and fell asleep before Will got back.

When he got back he saw them both sound asleep and smiled.

“Go get some sleep Will. You look like hell,” Mouse said.

“You don’t look much better,” Will laughed.

“I planned on going tonight.”

Will nodded. “Yea I will too. Probably go see Nat and the babies.”

Mouse nodded as they ate in silence. As they finished Mouse’s phone went off. Adam had sent him the ballistics report. “Son of a bitch,” Mouse sighed.

“What’s wrong?” Will asked.

Mouse ran a hand over his face. “Someone is going to get to tell him that the bullet to his shoulder came from his own team,” Mouse said quietly.

“What the hell?!” Will practically screamed forgetting they were asleep. Lauren was instantly awake and Jay roused.

“What’s wrong Will?” Jay mumbled waking up.

Will sighed but Mouse answered for him; “Ballistics report is back,” Mouse said quietly. Jay was fully awake watching his best friend. He knew what it said before Mouse said anything.

“Will someone please tell me what the hell is going on?!” Lauren said getting tired of not knowing what had happened to her husband.

Jay sighed and just started telling her. “We were on a big bust. Adam was my partner, but we got separated when he took down a suspect. I was on my own, and the guy I had wasn’t going down easy. Had a gun, the whole works.” He heard her sharp intake of air, but kept going.

“I was talking him down, making progress when I saw Erin in the doorway, gun drawn. She hadn’t been on this big of a bust since she got back, and I could see her hands were shaking. The guy hadn’t seen her yet, so I kept talking. I heard her say over the coms that she had a shot, but I knew she didn’t. Voight told her to take it. I begged her with my eyes not to take it, but she ignored me and fired. As soon as her gun went off, the guy started shooting. I felt two hit my vest knocking the air from me. Before I fell, I felt another rip through me. I hit the ground struggling to breathe. That’s the last thing I remember before passing out.”

Lauren had tears running down her cheeks, and Jay nodded for Will and Mouse to give them a minute. They both nodded and promised to return in the morning.

“All I could see was you, Jayden and Jayla and I didn’t want to die,” he whispered rubbing her back. “The ballistics report apparently confirmed that Erin’s bullet hit my shoulder. I watched the guy fall so it must have went all the way through him and into me.”

Lauren had her face buried in his neck crying. Not only had Erin tried to kill her and the twins, but now she’d shot Jay too. She couldn’t quit crying.

“I’m here baby, I’m here,” he whispered holding her tighter.

“I can't lose you,” she cried.

“I’m not going anywhere. I’m here,” he whispered reaching up to play with her hair to calm her. “I heard you,” he whispered.

“What do you mean?” she asked pulling back from his neck and running her fingers through his hair needing to touch him.

“I heard that sweet voice talking and I fought through the darkness to get back to you. I can't leave you baby,” he smiled.

Lauren kissed him hard; “I love you Jay Matthew; I love you so much.”

“I love you Lauren Kathleen and I always will.” He softly played with her hair. “Get some sleep baby. Go home and sleep in our bed and get a good night’s sleep.”

“No I don’t want to leave you. I won't sleep without you,” she whispered.

Jay rubbed her cheek. He knew that was probably true so he gave in. “Ok baby. Then lay down here and get some sleep,” he smiled playing with her hair feeling her relax into him and fall sound asleep.

 

Jay was in the hospital a total of five days. IA came by and asked him an endless list of questions.  They ended up clearing Erin because she had not intentionally shot him, but Lauren was still pissed. Erin should’ve listened to Jay and not taken the shot. If her bullet had killed Jay, Lauren wasn’t sure what she would’ve done.

Jay was just ready to be home. He hated hospitals; he missed his babies, and he was just ready to be home with his family. On the sixth morning, Conner released him to go home. He still had stitches and his chest was still bruised, so Conner couldn’t release him for duty; he wanted him at home resting until his body was healed. He told Jay that Will could keep an eye on the stitches and take them out when they were ready, but he wanted to see him in a week for a re-eval and possibly clear him for duty.

By the time they pulled up at the apartment, Jay was starting to wear out. He knew that even though he felt like he could do more, his body was still recovering and would protest. Lauren grabbed their bag and then wrapped her arm around his waist as they went in. When they got off the elevator, Jay’s face lit up with a smile seeing their apartment.

“Think they’re up?” he asked.

“Maybe,” Lauren smiled knowing how much he’d missed their babies. She unlocked the door and they walked in. Kelly and Shay were laying in the floor playing with them. Jayla was smiling at Kelly waving her arms and Jayden was playing with a plush fire truck with Shay. Lauren couldn’t help but smile watching Jay light up at seeing the babies.

She helped him settle on the couch. “Hey little loves, look who is home,” she cooed at the twins. Both babies smiled and reached for her. She carefully took them both and kissed their cheeks. Jayla saw him first and started wiggling, cooing and smiling trying to get to him. She’d missed her daddy and wanted him.

Kelly and Shay gathered up their stuff to give the little family time together. “Supper is in the fridge, just needs to be heated. Call if you need anything,” Kelly smiled.

“Thanks Kel.” She locked up behind them before settling on the couch by Jay. He’d shed his t-shirt as soon as Kelly and Shay were gone because the neck of it was aggravating his stitches and he couldn’t stand it. Lauren watched him with a smile. She loved admiring her husband all the time, but she hated that nasty bruise across his chest. “It’s ok,” he smiled watching her as he reached for the babies.

Lauren just looked at him. Jayla started fussing wanting her daddy. “Only one at a time Jay. You can't be using that arm yet.”

Jay sighed but nodded. He definitely didn’t want to bust any stitches and make recovery time that much longer. She was still eyeing him as Jayla started pitching a fit wanting to be in her daddy’s arms. “What about the bruise?” she asked quietly trying to comfort her baby.

“I’ll be fine. Just let me have her,” he smiled.

Lauren gave him a smile back as she handed Jayla to him. “Someone’s spoiled,” she mumbled making Jay chuckle. Jayla quieted as soon as she had her daddy. She snuggled on his good shoulder turning her face into his neck as he held her. Once she calmed down he cradled her against him as she smiled at him.

“Daddy missed you little miss,” he cooed and Jayla smiled up at him. She was looking at his bruise all funny and went to pat it. Lauren grabbed her hand startling Jayla and she puckered up. “Easy baby girl. Daddy’s still got some boo-boos and we gotta take care of him,” she cooed.

“It’s ok Jayla. I’m ok I promise,” he cooed raising her up and kissing her cheek. She cooed at him and smiled patting his cheeks. “I missed you sweet girl,” he whispered snuggling her and she cooed at him happily.

Jayden watched and tried getting to his daddy too. Both babies loved him so much and Lauren was glad. “Switch,” she smiled as Jayden started to fuss. Lauren took Jayla and laid Jayden in his arm.

“Hey buddy. Daddy missed you too,” he cooed and Jayden smiled up at him.

Lauren sat and watched him talk and snuggle the babies. That night they ate supper and then all four curled up in their bed together. Once the babies got sleepy, Lauren nursed them both. Jay could never get enough of watching her with the babies. Jayla fell asleep nursing and got super mad when Lauren woke her enough to release.

Jay chuckled and took her snuggling her against his shoulder and she fell back asleep. Lauren smiled as they carried the babies to bed tucking them in for the night. Once back in bed Lauren snuggled up to Jay glad to be home and in their bed. She softly traced the outline of his bruise. She’d be glad when it was gone. She softly kissed the scar on his good shoulder from his Army days as she traced his bruise.

“I’m going to be ok,” he smiled kissing her forehead.

“I know,” she whispered. “Jay?” she said hesitantly.

“Yea baby?”

“I…. I don’t want you working with Erin, period.”

“Lauren…”

“No, I’m serious. She tried to kill me and our babies and she almost killed you. I don’t care what you have to do, but I don’t want you working with her. I can't lose you, ever, and she’s too much of a risk!”

Jay sighed as he rubbed her back. “I’m serious Jay.”

“I know…. But they cleared her. She did not intentionally shoot me; she’s still in the unit.”

“Then find something else,” she said getting up and walking out to the kitchen. She knew she wasn’t exactly being fair to him, but she couldn’t lose him and Erin was too much of a risk. She got a glass of water and rested her head against the counter. Could she really ask Jay to give up a job he loved just to make her feel better? Would he? These thoughts were swirling through her mind when she felt strong hands wrap around her.

“You’re arm,” she protested trying to wiggle away without hurting him more, but Jay held her tighter. He turned her around to face him, but she wouldn’t look at him.

“Lauren… look at me,” he said tipping her chin up. She tried to close her eyes but he held her chin steady. “Look at me,” he said again. She slowly opened her eyes to meet his blue ones.

“If you really want me to, I will,” he said holding her gaze steady. Lauren knew it was the truth, but she also knew Jay and she knew he wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.

“No, I don’t,” she whispered. “You wouldn’t be happy doing anything else.” She tried to turn away but he kept his grip on her chin firm so she had to look at him.

“If it made you happy, I would do whatever,” he said with a soft smile.

“It’s not that I want you doing anything else, Jay. I just don’t want her around. I don’t like her, I don’t trust her, and I don’t want her around my family.”

Jay sighed but never broke her gaze. “I know, and you have every right to feel like that. But since they cleared her, she’s still going to be in the unit.”

“I know,” she said finally breaking his gaze. “And so are you,” she whispered. She couldn’t ask him to give up a job he loved and excelled at. She knew she was just going to have to accept it.

 

Will was able to take the stitches out on the eighth day from the shooting. Jay was glad they were gone. He hadn’t been able to wear a shirt for two days because the necks would rub against the stitches and it drove him crazy. The bruise was starting to fade, and he slowly started using his arm more.

He enjoyed all the time he got at home with Lauren and the twins, and the babies loved all the attention from daddy. When he went back to see Conner a week later, he was cleared for duty. He knew Lauren wasn’t exactly thrilled about it, but she was coming around. Being at home with her all that time and reassuring her he would be ok, gave her the confidence to let him go back. Things were finally returning to normal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’ll let me know what you thought :) NALEY23alwaysforever, you’re right Erin has caused a lot of problems and sadly she’s not totally gone, but for now she’ll be on her best behavior ;)


	39. A Little Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. Things get a little crazy around here, but I promise this story is far from over. Hope yall enjoy this chapter ;) It was time for a little goodness :) To my Canada girls hope this makes the long week yall have had better ;)   
> Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago PD, Chicago Fire or any of its characters.

Jay had been back to work for two weeks. It was August now, and things were good. Jay had not had to work with Erin any and he was glad. Lauren still wasn’t thrilled that she was still on the team, but each day that passed without incident helped her relax. The twins continued to do well and they were both thankful. Even though they’d been early, they were doing great.

Jay wanted to surprise Lauren with a date night, just the two of them. They had not had time as just the two of them since the twins, and he loved his babies so much, but he loved one on one time with his wife too. He texted Will to see if they could keep the twins Friday night and Will told him they’d love to.

Jay started planning their night with a smile. He made reservations at Catch 35. He knew how much she loved seafood, and they had never eaten there so he thought she’d enjoy it. He was going to plan the perfect night for her to show her how much he loved her.

He sent Lauren a text, “ **Friday night = date night. Just me and you. Will & Nat will keep the babies. Dress nice, romantic night ;)”**

Lauren had just laid the babies down when she got his text. It made her smile, but nervous at the same time. She’d missed their one on one time and romance, but she also knew how different her body was after having the twins. Sure she knew he said he loved her and her body no matter what, but she also knew how different certain areas were. She text him back, “ **Sounds great babe. Can't wait.”**

Next she text Shay; **“Help! Jay’s planned date night for Friday & idk what to wear!”**

 **“Be there in five,”** was Shay’s reply. When she got there Lauren was freaking out pacing in the closet.

“Oh chill, Sis,” Shay laughed hugging her. “You know I got you covered.”

Lauren sighed as they started looking through the closet. “What about this?” Shay asked holding up a sleeveless, silk blue dress that fell to her calves. She loved it and had bought it before the twins; she wasn’t sure how it’d fit now though.

“I dunno,” she said going back to looking through the dresses.

“I do. This is it, and some sexy lingerie to wear under it.”

“Les I don’t know… I don’t think it’d look right now.”

“Well I do,” she smiled going to the drawer where Lauren kept her lingerie. She picked out a royal blue set that matched the dress. “You’ll knock him dead,” she smiled.

“Leslie, no. I haven’t worn that since I got pregnant.”

“All the more reason to wear some,” Shay smiled.

“I dunno…” Lauren said again.

“Well I do. We’re off Friday so you will be coming over and getting ready at our place and he can pick you there.”

“Shay….”

“No. It’s not up for discussion,” she smiled.

Lauren sighed giving in. Shay took the outfit with her picking out shoes and ear rings. She grabbed Lauren’s make up bag as well. Lauren watched her with a laugh.

“What?” Shay asked.

“I can't believe you’re really going to take all that with you.”

“You can't change your mind this way or get ready here,” Shay smirked. Once she had everything she headed out leaving Lauren to get the babies who were waking up.

 

Wednesday and Thursday passed without incident and by Friday Lauren was nervous. Natalie was off on Friday, and she came down to the get the babies at lunch.

“Are you sure you’ll be ok with both of them?” Lauren asked.

Natalie gave her a reassuring smile. “Of course honey. Will will be home by three, and we all have our instructions from Shay,” she laughed. Shay had told Nat to get the babies at lunch and send Lauren to her. She had told Jay to pick her up from their place. Their reservation was for six, so he told Shay he’d get her about five thirty.

Lauren had to laugh with her as she helped Nat get everything up to their apartment. She honestly felt like she was moving them out, but it was the first time they’d stayed the night away, and she wanted to make sure Will and Nat had anything they might need. The babies took in their new surroundings as Lauren and Nat sat up the pack in plays in the spare room next to the master suite. Once that was done, Lauren double checked to make sure Nat had everything.

She kissed the babies and told Nat to call if they had any problems no matter how small. Natalie assured her they would and finally got her to leave and head to Shay’s. She turned to the babies who were playing on the floor with a laugh. “Mommy sure does love you two. But we’re gonna have a lot of fun and spoil you more,” she cooed getting in the floor with them to play.

 

Lauren felt odd as she grabbed her stuff to head to Kelly and Shay’s. She’d gotten so used to having two carriers and bags, she felt bare and empty as she headed out. She drove over still questioning the outfit in her head. She wanted him to find her sexy, but she just didn’t feel sexy after the twins. Sure the breastfeeding and carrying the twins everywhere had helped her lose most of the baby weight, but she knew her body was very different.

She sighed as she parked and headed up. Shay was waiting on her. “Hey sis,” Shay smiled pulling her into a hug.

“Hey,” Lauren smiled.

“Alright, let’s eat and then get you ready.”

“Les, I really don’t know about this dress. Maybe we should go buy something else.”

“Nope,” she said popping the p. “You’re going to look amazing in it.”

Lauren sighed; “Ok if you say so.”

“Hey. Jay looks at you like you hang the moon. It’s not going to matter what you wear, he’s going to love it.”

“I know. I just know how different everything looks now that I’ve had twins.”

“Yes and he still loves you and finds you beautiful. So just relax and have fun tonight,” Shay smiled.

After lunch they watched a little tv; Shay hoping it would help her relax some more. Luckily it worked. Around three, Shay sent her to shower. Lauren reluctantly dressed in the lingerie knowing Shay would make sure she had. She didn’t think it looked as good as it could, but there was no changing it now. She wrapped in a robe as Shay knocked on the door.

“Let me see,” she said tugging on the robe. Lauren held it tight; “Shay no.”

“I’ve gotta make sure,” she laughed. Lauren rolled her eyes as she pulled it off her shoulder enough for Shay to be satisfied that she’d put the lingerie on. Shay was all smiles as she put her in a chair in the room so she could do her hair and makeup.

Kelly got home from being out with Casey and stuck his head in. “Looking good sis,” he said as Shay was working on her curls.

“Thanks Kel,” she smiled as Shay double checked that her curls were just like she wanted before spraying them down with hairspray. Next she did her makeup. Once all that was done, she helped Lauren into the dress zipping it up. Lauren held her breath hoping it would fit.

Shay zipped it all the way and stepped back to look her over. The dress fit perfectly, showing off her curves. “Wow,” Shay said making Lauren panic.

“It looks awful doesn’t it? I knew we should’ve went and bought something.” She was trying to unzip the dress when Shay grabbed her hands. She walked her over to the door that had a floor to ceiling mirror. Lauren opened her eyes and was shocked. It really didn’t look as bad as she thought it would.

“Kelly,” Shay called.

“Yea?”

“Come here.”

Lauren stood there biting her lip until Shay smacked her arm and told her to quit.

“Yea?” Kelly said again opening the door. “Wow… so that... looks really good on you,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” Lauren smiled with a slight blush. “So it looks ok?”

“It looks great,” he smiled.

Lauren breathed a sigh of relief. Hopefully Jay would think the same. She put on her lipstick and ear rings as she heard Kelly let Jay in. Shay gave her a smile and went out. Lauren took a deep breath. It was now or never, she thought as she turned the door knob.

She walked out into the living room; Jay stopped talking and eyed her up and down. Lauren thought he looked amazing in his suit and she felt a blush rising as she felt him eyeing her up and down.

“So… uh… wow!” he whispered.

“It’s not too much? I mean I can go change or….” Jay pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly.

“You look absolutely beautiful love,” he whispered.

Lauren smiled big at him. “You look pretty amazing yourself Detective.”

Jay smiled softly kissing her again.

“Alright you two, get out of here and enjoy,” Shay laughed wrapping her arm with Kelly’s.

Jay took her hand, “My lady, shall we?”

Lauren couldn’t help but giggle. “Thanks you two,” she said to Kelly and Shay.

“Enjoy,” Shay smiled.

Jay whisked her out and down to the car. It was a nice night and she looked stunning. He honestly couldn’t wait to get her home. They got to the restaurant and were seated immediately. They had a nice quiet table in the corner. She still couldn’t drink because she was nursing, and Jay still wouldn’t drink because she couldn’t. She thought it was the sweetest thing ever.

Once they started looking at the menu, Lauren started to panic; everything was so expensive. “Jay….” she whispered.

“Don’t worry about it love. Just get what you want,” he smiled.

“But…”

“No buts,” Jay interrupted. “This night is about you so just enjoy.”

Lauren hadn’t found a teaching job, and after talking about it, they decided it might be best for her to just stay home until the twins were a little older. So since Jay was the only one working, they’d been watching their money. While money wasn’t tight, Lauren tried to make sure it didn’t get tight.

Jay rubbed his thumb over her knuckles; “Hey, I mean it. Tonight is for you, not to worry about anything, but just to relax and enjoy.”

He smiled that smile she loved that made his blue eyes shine. “Ok,” she smiled as they ordered. The food was super delicious and Lauren slowly relaxed enjoying just having time with Jay. On the way home, he held her hand and occasionally rubbed her leg. God he wanted her so bad, but he knew tonight had to be slow. He had to show her how much he still loved her.

Once they were right outside their apartment, Jay slipped his hand over her eyes as he unlocked the door. “What are you doing?” she laughed.

“A surprise,” he whispered in her ear as he guided her into their apartment. He slowly moved his hands, wrapping them around her waist. He had the lights on low and rose petals scattered through the apartment to their room.

“Oh Jay,” she whispered feeling him kissing on her neck.

“Tonight is just me and you,” he whispered nipping at her ear. He slowly guided her to their room kissing on her as they went. God Lauren wanted him, but she was so shy right now about the changes in her body. Once in the room, he’d used rose petals and written “I luv u,” on the bed.

Lauren completely melted. “Jay,” she whispered as he wiped her eyes.

“I do love you so much Lauren Kathleen.”

“I love you Jay Matthew.” He kissed her hard as he slowly pulled the zipper down her dress. Lauren tensed a little. He pulled back and cradled her face. “Relax love. I love you and I love your body.”

Lauren nodded as his fingers brushed her lips. “It’s just everything’s so different since our babies,” she whispered looking down.

Jay tipped her chin back up and softly kissed her. “You are still the most beautiful woman ever Lauren.”

“You make me think so,” she whispered.

“You are. I only have eyes for you,” he whispered brushing the dress off her shoulders. He let his fingers dance over her shoulders and collarbone. “So soft and kissable,” he whispered as his lips found her neck again.

Lauren let her head fall back giving him better access as a moan slipped out. God she’s missed this. She felt his smile against her neck. He nipped, sucked and kissed on her neck driving her crazy.

“Jay,” she moaned tugging on his hair. He slowly released her neck kissing her lips softly.

“Tonight is all about you love,” he whispered pushing the dress lower. She sucked in a breath as he took her ear rings off sucking on her ear lobes. “Lingerie huh?” he smiled and Lauren bit her lip with a nod. He brushed his thumb over her lip pulling it loose. “You’re sexy baby,” he whispered.

“Jay….”

“You are Lauren, so sexy and beautiful.” He helped her step out of the dress before leading her to the bed. “All for you tonight,” he whispered. He pulled the covers back scattering the rose petals making her smile. He laid her down crawling over her, softly kissing her lips. Lauren ran her hands up his back wanting his shirt off.

Jay grabbed her hands with a smile as he kissed her. He sucked on her ear lobe; “You’re gonna listen to my words, feel what I’m doing to you as I love on you,” he whispered making her shiver. She moaned and arched against him. He nipped at her ear. “I’m gonna tie your hands and feet and you’re gonna be completely at my mercy,” he whispered making her shiver again.

“That ok baby?” he asked and Lauren nodded. He used his ties and tied her hands. He laid one over her eyes and she moaned. He tied her feet; she tried to move but she could only buck her hips. “Jay,” she moaned.

“I’m just getting started mi amor,” he whispered. She could only feel and hear him, and it was driving her crazy. He softly kissed around her face; “Eyes so beautiful, lips so kissable,” he whispered.

Lauren moaned a little as he kissed down her neck. She tossed her head side to side. He knew all the spots that got her going. He sucked on her sweet spot, and she bucked against him. “Jay…. Jay…” she moaned as her arms tugged on the ties.

Jay smiled knowing she was lost in the sensations. “Love kissing and sucking on your neck. It’s so sexy and kissable, gives you so much pleasure.”

“Jay,” she moaned again. He sucked along her collarbone as she bucked against him again. He pushed her hips back down making her moan as he moved beside her. He ran his fingers down the center of her body. Goosebumps popped up making him smile. “Skin so soft and beautiful,” he whispered and Lauren moaned.

She bit her lip as he sucked hard on her neck. She was so close to tipping over into bliss, but he kept her teetering right there. “Jay…. Jay… please,” she begged arching again. He smiled as he moved the ties from her eyes. He trailed it over her arms, up and down her legs, and over her stomach. She watched him biting her lip.

He slowly teased her nipples with it making her moan and arch. “Jay… please… please… oh god please,” she begged.

He laid it back over her eyes softly kissing down her neck. He kissed around her breasts. “So beautiful and full. It’s one of my favorite things ever watching you nurse our babies,” he whispered. He kissed closer and closer to her nipples as she begged him to let her come.

He pulled back at the last second making her groan and tug hard at her restraints as he kissed up to her ear. “It’ll be worth it I promise,” he whispered. “I want you to know how beautiful you are to me.”

He teased her nipples with two rose petals he got off the floor. He softly brushed them back and forth as he kissed on her stomach. If her hands had been free she would’ve covered herself and that’s one reason he’d tied her. “You’re beautiful Lauren. You have no reason to hide your body from me. Every part of you is beautiful to me, no matter what. You gave us two beautiful babies; I don’t care that your body is a little different. You are beautiful baby.”

Lauren felt a few tears slip out. He was so sweet and she knew he meant every word. “I’m beautiful to you,” she whispered making him smile big. He pulled the tie off her eyes; “Say it again,” he whispered.

“I’m beautiful to you,” she smiled.

He wiped her eyes and kissed her hard. “Yes you are and never forget it.”

Lauren nodded as he kissed on her neck again. She moaned bucking up as he teased her nipples with the rose petals. “So close,” she panted as he sucked harder. He pinched her nipples between the rose petals as he bit her neck. She exploded screaming his name as she tugged at the ties riding it out.

Jay kept driving her up as he moved to suck her nipples. Her orgasm drug on and on and she bucked and pleaded needing more. He sucked her nipples hard driving her to another instant orgasm. She was in heaven. It was like nothing she’d experienced in a while.

After her second one, he slowly brought her down letting her recover. She was panting his name as she caught her breath. He softly kissed up and down her legs. “Jay… baby please,” she begged.

“En un minuto Hermosa.” Lauren moaned bucking up needing to feel him in her. Jay grabbed her hips softly squeezing them. He kissed the insides of her thighs moving closer to her wet heat.

She moaned loud as his lips closed over her clit. She tried to buck against his face and create more friction, but he held her still and just licked her clit at his pace. She tossed her head side to side moaning his name over and over. He slowly licked and sucked driving her up again.

She was begging, moaning his name over and over. He sucked her clit hard, flicking it with his tongue as he felt her come again. Jay moaned; it was one of his favorite things ever to make her come. He slowly brought her down licking her up.

She was panting and tugging at her ties. He kissed up her body and slowly untied her hands rubbing them knowing they were probably sore. Once she’d settled he slowly untied her legs. She caught him off guard flipping them sinking down on him. Jay moaned arching into her.

He grabbed her hips holding her steady. “Damn baby,” he moaned. She felt so amazing. He barely remembered the condoms he’d bought. “Wait… Lauren… we gotta…. Just wait a sec,” he whispered sliding her off.

Lauren started to panic thinking she’d done something wrong or she’d reacted too soon. She wrapped in the sheet jumping up. Jay rolled quickly grabbing her and pulling her back on the bed. She was hiding her face and he pulled her hands away.

“Lauren look at me,” he said nudging her nose with his. Lauren slowly opened her eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong love,” he whispered kissing her.

“But you…”

“I know I stopped you and I’m sorry, but I remembered the condoms and we needed one.”

Lauren blushed even more looking down. She’d forgot she wasn’t on any birth control because she was nursing. She tipped her chin up and kissed her. “I still want you,” he whispered.

“I wasn’t thinking,” she whispered as she blushed even more.

Jay smiled rubbing her cheek. “You’re sexy when you’re being shy and blushing.” He reached over and grabbed a condom as he softly kissed around her face. It would be the first time in six years they’d had to use one and he’d be glad when they didn’t have to again. He loved just feeling her around him, but he knew they had to be careful because they did not need another baby yet.

He kissed her hard tugging the sheet away as he kissed down to her breasts. When he sucked her nipple between his lips, she threw her head back with a moan. He sucked hard on both of them driving her up. He could tell she would have to pump soon because she was getting full and he loved it.

“Jay…. oh god please…. Please…” she begged and he smiled. He grabbed her hands; “Roll it on,” he whispered. Lauren bit her lip as she watched him. She slowly rolled the condom down his hard length making him moan loud. God she’d missed being able to tease him like this even if she hadn’t missed the condoms.

Once she had it on, Jay grabbed her hips guiding her back over him. He kissed her hard lowering her back on him. Lauren moaned as she tightened around him adjusting. Jay held as still as possible feeling her squeeze him. He buried his face in her neck moaning as her muscles kept tightening and releasing around him.

“Baby…. Move…. Please,” he pleaded. Lauren smiled as she tangled her fingers in his hair tugging a little. She slowly slid up and back down squeezing him as she went. She loved the power she had over him; the fact that she could make him lose control like this was amazing to her.

Jay kissed and sucked on her neck as she slowly moved. It was all he could do to hold still and not arch into her. He was letting her have all the control at the moment and he was in heaven. God he’d missed her. He pulled his head up gazing into her love and lust filled eyes. “God I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

“I’ve missed you too,” she whispered kissing him hard. “Never this long again,” she promised as she started to move faster. Jay moaned as he grabbed her hips. Lauren smiled as she kissed him tugging at his hair as she moved.

“Jay…. I… oh god,” she moaned as he arched into her thrusts. His hips were angled just right to drive her crazy as she thrust.

“Yea that’s it baby… ride me and let go,” he moaned.

She went faster as he hit her g-spot every single time. She was squeezing him with each thrust and he knew it wouldn’t take much more. “Lauren…. Please baby,” he moaned. He found her nipple sucking hard as her hips started stuttering over him and her thrusts became a little wilder. Jay grabbed them guiding her up and down fast and hard as he sucked her.

“Jay…. Jay…. I… oh fuck…. Jay,” she panted and moaned. He thrust up hard as she squeezed him tight and they came hard together moaning and screaming the others name. It felt like their orgasms drug on forever as she milked every last drop from him. She collapsed against him laying her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her back.

They were both panting out of breath. “Damn baby,” she whispered snuggling her face into his neck.

“I know…. God I know,” he whispered softly rubbing her back.

“Let me go clean up and I’ll be right back,” he whispered moving to lay her down. Lauren whimpered not wanting him to move. “I promise. I’ll be right back,” he smiled kissing her cheek.

He laid her down draping the sheet over her as he ran to the bathroom. This was another thing he never missed about condoms. He quickly cleaned up and went back out to their bed. Lauren was snuggling on his pillow making him smile. He laid down and pulled her to lay on his chest and she let out a happy sigh.

He softly rubbed her back as she snuggled close.

“Thank you for an amazing night,” she whispered.

“You deserved it baby,” he smiled.

“Promise we’ll always have date night every few months?”

Jay smiled. “I promise Lauren.”

She smiled as she slowly drifted off to sleep. Jay text Will to see how the babies were. When he got a positive reply he let himself drift off with her. It’d been a perfect night and he couldn’t have been happier as he fell asleep with his wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed :) nothing but fluff and romance after the last few drama filled chapters ;) There’s plenty more to come and I hope you’ll let me know what you thought :)  
> Up Next: More of the twins and happy family


	40. Jayla Isn't So Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago PD, Chicago Fire or any of its characters.

The next morning Jay woke to find her still snuggled on him sound asleep. He carefully rolled and rolled her to bed; she stayed asleep. He tucked her in and went to find her pump. Once he found it, he came back to bed and pulled her back against him. He carefully hooked her up and turned it on.

Lauren moved a little, but stayed asleep. He’d worn her out last night. Once she was done pumping, he laid her back down and took the bottles to the fridge. He started making breakfast, chocolate chocolate chip pancakes. He had no idea how she ate that much chocolate in the mornings, but she loved them. Just as he was finishing them up, he heard her call for him.

He carried their plates to the bedroom; “Hi beautiful,” he smiled seeing her sitting up wrapped in the sheet.

“Hey,” she smiled stretching. “I smell pancakes,” she said as her face lit up.

Jay laughed. “Yes mam. I made your favorite.”

Once he sat down by her, she pulled him in for a searing kiss. “You’re so good to me,” she whispered.

“I just love you,” he smiled brushing some hair behind her ear.

“I just love you,” she smiled as he handed her a plate. They ate stealing glances and kisses.

“I’m surprised I don’t need to pump,” she said once they were done. Jay smiled softly kissing her, as he sat their plates aside.

“You did, but I took care of you.”

Lauren crawled in his lap straddling him as she kissed him hard pouring all her love for him into the kiss. Jay finally pulled back so they could catch their breath. “You take such good care of me,” she whispered breathing hard.

“I always will Lauren. I love you and always want to take care of you.”

“I love you too,” she said going in for another kiss. She tangled her fingers in his hair as they kissed.

Jay softly rubbed her back, moaning into the kiss. He loved when she took control. Lauren pulled back just a little as she gazed at him. “When do we have to get the babies?” she whispered running her finger over his lips.

“Whenever you want,” he smiled.

“Think they’re ok?”

“They were last night before I went to sleep,” he smiled.

Lauren nodded as she slid off him, leaving the sheet behind. She looked back over her shoulder, “Are you coming?” she asked crooking her finger at him.

Jay nodded jumping up. He grabbed a condom just in case. She’d turned on the shower and was fixing to get in when he walked into the bathroom. He bit his lip watching her; ‘ _damn she’s so sexy,’_ he thought.

Lauren stepped into the shower looking back at him with a sexy smile. Jay smiled as he joined her. She wrapped around him kissing him as the warm water flowed over them. Jay picked her up pinning her to the wall making her moan. He softly kissed around her face.

“Do you know how sexy it is to watch you walk around here naked?” he whispered nipping at her ear.

“How sexy?” she grinned.

He rocked against her. “So fucking sexy.”

“Mmmm I’m glad you think so detective,” she grinned kissing him harder. She kissed to his ear; “Please tell me you grabbed a condom,” she whispered making him moan.

Jay held it up making her smile as she snatched it out of his hand. She ripped it open and slid down his body. She knelt down on her knees as Jay put his hands on the wall holding his breath. Lauren looked up at him and smiled as she wrapped her hand around him squeezing a little.

“Lauren,” he panted.

“What baby?” she smiled licking his tip.

“Fuck,” he moaned letting his forehead hit the shower wall.

Lauren smiled as she barely sucked him into her mouth. She licked around the head as she let her hand keep squeezing him. She was teasing him and she knew it. Once she had him throbbing, she slid her mouth off and slowly rolled the condom on him.

He jerked her up into his arms with a growl. “What’s the matter detective?” she giggled.

“You can be such a tease,” he growled.

“You love it,” she whispered biting his ear lobe as she wrapped her legs around him sliding on to him.

Jay moaned into her neck as he let her adjust. He was already so damn close thanks to her mouth, but he had to find some control for her.

She held on to him as she kissed and nipped at his ear and neck. “Fuck me Jay,” she moaned. “Please,” she begged.

That was all it took to snap his control and he thrust hard and fast keeping her pinned to the shower wall. Lauren moaned his name as she kept nipping at his ear. “So close,” he panted as she bit down again.

She could feel him throbbing in her and it put her on edge. “Me too,” she whispered.

Jay pulled her head up and kissed her hard as he thrust hard and fast coming in her. His orgasm sent her over the edge and she pulled back from the kiss, throwing her head against the shower wall as she screamed his name.

Jay held her close as they slowly came down. “Fuck baby… damn,” he whispered.

Lauren couldn’t help but giggle. “Glad you enjoyed yourself detective,” she smiled.

“Damn right I did,” he whispered kissing her hard. The water was turning cold so he slid her down and quickly washed them off. He turned the shower off and wrapped them in towels carrying her back to bed.

After several more kisses and make out sessions, they finally got dressed. He text Will and told him they were heading up, and Will said that was fine. The babies were almost asleep for their nap. By the time they got upstairs, Nat had gotten both babies asleep.

“Hey,” Nat smiled. They both seemed relaxed and happy so she knew it’d been a good night for them.

“Hey,” Lauren smiled going over to see her babies. After talking with Will and Nat, they gathered up the babies and all their things. They headed back down to their apartment. They spent the afternoon and the rest of the day playing and cuddling with the babies. Lauren couldn’t have been happier. It had been a perfect weekend. 

 

It was Friday, a week after date night, and Lauren was home with the twins; Jay was at work. They’d been playing and she’d laid them down for their afternoon nap. She was afraid Jayla was getting sick. She’d cough anytime Lauren laid her down, and she’d been clingy and fussy.

Lauren kept an eye on the monitor while they napped. Jayla would cough, but she hadn’t woke; Lauren went to check on them. Jayden was sound asleep, but Jayla would cough and sound like she was wheezing. She coughed hard enough to wake herself.

Lauren scooped her up; “Goodness baby girl are you getting sick?” she cooed settling in the rocker to sooth her. Lauren laid her against her as they rocked. Poor Jayla felt tense and Lauren was worried so she called Jay.

“Hey baby. What’s up?” he answered.

“I think Jayla’s getting sick and I’m worried.”

“What’s wrong?”

“She’s been fussy and clingy today. Anytime I’ve laid her down, she coughs. I laid them down for their nap and she woke herself coughing. She sounds like she’s wheezing when she breathes, and she’s really tense.”

“Ok I’ll call Will and head home. I’ll bring Mouse to keep Jayden.”

“Ok,” she said as they hung up. She wrapped Jayla in their Moby wrap so she could pack the diaper bag and make sure Mouse would have everything for Jayden while still keeping Jayla close. She was really worried about their little fighter; Jayla was wheezing and coughing and her breathing became more labored as more time passed.

Jay got home about thirty minutes later and Lauren was trying not to panic at how bad Jayla was struggling to breathe. Jay rushed them to the hospital where Natalie was waiting. It was a busy day in the ER and Will was with another patient.

Nat took Jayla right away and started assessing her, immediately putting her on oxygen. She strapped the toe monitor on Jayla getting her oxygen levels and heart rate. Her oxygen levels were low and her heart rate was high. She started listening to her chest; she could hear restricted breathing and crackling sounds.

She shouted orders to the nurses, getting a nebs treatment and a chest x-ray. Jay and Lauren were off to the side watching. He was rubbing her back as tears slid down her cheeks. “It’s gonna be ok,” he whispered as they watched.

They did an x-ray as a nurse brought in Jayla’s treatment. They had oxygen waiting for when her treatment was finished. “Guys, one of you can hold her while we give her this treatment to help her breathe,” Natalie said.

Lauren and Jay walked over; Jayla was crying and Lauren knew she was scared. She carefully picked her up, sitting down on the bed holding her. Nat put the mask on her as Lauren held her. Jayla tried turning her head away not sure about it. Jay held her hands as Lauren talked softly to her, calming her.

Jayla settled against her looking at Jay with sleepy blue eyes. “You’re ok baby girl. It’s just going to make you feel better,” he said softly.

After two rounds of nebs and an oral steroid, Nat put her on oxygen to get her levels back up. “Let her rest, and I’ll be back in a few to check on yall,” she smiled.

Once Natalie went out, Lauren laid back on the bed holding Jayla; Jay sat down on the side of the bed by them, softly rubbing Lauren’s cheek as Jayla drifted off.

“You ok?” he asked her.

Lauren nodded; “As long as she’s ok, I’ll be ok,” she whispered watching Jayla. “Can you call and check on Jayden?”

“Yea of course,” he smiled kissing her forehead.

He stepped out and called Mouse. Lauren laid their holding Jayla, just watching her chest rise and fall. Jay came back in just a few minutes. “He’s fine. They’re playing,” he smiled.

“Good, I’m glad,” she said quietly. 

Natalie came back in. “Good new guys. Her x-ray was clear so she doesn’t have pneumonia or bronchitis.”

“So what happened?” Lauren asked.

“Well it looks like it was an asthma attack. Anything can trigger it; a cold, allergies, stress.”

Lauren sighed softly; “So what do we do?”

“I’m sending you home with two inhalers; one is orange, and one is blue. The orange one is a steroid inhaler. You’ll give it to her twice a day; once in the morning and once at night. This mask will go over her mouth and nose. Two puffs each time. There is a bubble here that will move when she breathes. One puff will move the bubble about ten times. The blue one is a rescue inhaler for attacks like today. You give two puffs for every five breaths, up to ten times. If it doesn’t help, bring her in or call 911. After each treatment you have to wash her mouth out good, usually with a wet wash cloth. I know it’s a lot, but you know we’re always around to help,” Nat said with a smile.

Lauren nodded taking it all in. “It’s going to be ok I promise. You’ve got plenty of help and Jayla is going to be ok,” Nat smiled.

“Thanks Nat,” Lauren smiled.

“I’m going to lower the oxygen and see how she does. Then we will see about getting yall out of here.” 

“Thanks Nat,” Jay said as she made the adjustments and went out. Jay sat by them as Lauren still held Jayla. She was still asleep snuggled over Lauren’s heart. In just a minute, Will stuck his head in the room in between patients. “Hey. Yall ok? Nat gave me the short gist that it’s asthma.”

“Yea, yea we’re ok. She’s asleep,” Jay said. Will nodded as they heard Maggie yell another incoming. “Gotta run. Stop by tonight,” Will said before sliding the door shut and running off.

About thirty minutes later, Jayla started fussing and waking. Jay softly rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. “Hey baby girl. Are you feeling better?” he cooed.

Jayla smiled a little at him rubbing her eyes. “Yea I think you are,” he smiled kissing her forehead again. Lauren passed Jayla to him and she snuggled against his chest, patting his cheek. "Yea you’re ok baby girl. Aunt Nat gave you medicine to feel better.” Jayla watched him as if she could understand every word.

“Daddy’s baby,” Lauren said with a smile.

“Daddy loves his babies,” he smiled as Nat came in.

“Hey guys,” she smiled glancing up at the monitors. “How is she?”

“Good. She just woke up a couple of minutes ago.”

“Good. She’s stable and her oxygen levels have stayed up. I’ve got the inhalers and mask to send yall home with.”

Lauren nodded taking them as Natalie took Jayla’s oxygen and toe monitor off.

“Will said yall would stop by tonight,” Lauren said as Jay put Jayla in her car seat.

“Ok sounds good,” Nat smiled as they paged her. She headed out to another patient as Lauren and Jay took Jayla home. When they got home, she was fussy and hungry. Jay opened the door as Jayla started throwing a fit in her carrier. They could hear Jayden crying too as they walked in,

“Mouse, we’re here,” Jay called.

“Hey,” he said popping out of the kitchen. “I was just fixing to give him a bottle.”

“No need,” Lauren smiled getting Jayla out of the carrier. She reached for Jayden; both babies were screaming, crying. She sent Jay a pleading look. “Be right back,” he said to Mouse taking Jayla and going with Lauren to their room.

He knew it’d been a stressful day, and she didn’t want Jayla having another attack. She settled on the bed grabbing their pillows. She got the babies situated with Jay’s help and they both latched on settling. Lauren let out a soft sigh. “Thanks,” she whispered giving Jay a small smile. “Go thank Mouse for us.”

“Ok,” he said softly kissing her. “Be right back.”

Lauren nodded as Jay went out. “Hey buddy,” Mouse said.

“Hey,” Jay said sitting down on the couch by him.

“Everything ok?”

“Yea. She had an asthma attack. We have two different inhalers now,” Jay said running his fingers through his hair.

Mouse nodded. “I know it’s not easy because she’s so little, but it will be ok buddy. You’ve got plenty of people to help, including me.”

Jay smiled. “Yea I know.”

“Besides you’ve seen how the rescue inhaler works. I mean it’s a little different because she’s still little, but at least you know.”

“Yea I know. Seen it more times than I care to count,” Jay said giving him a look.

“Yea I know… but it’s going to be fine Jay,” he smiled. “I’ll go and let yall rest. If you need anything, call.”

“Yea, yea I will. Thanks for keeping him.”

“Anytime,” Mouse smiled heading out.

Once Mouse left, Jay went back to the bedroom to check on them. The babies were just finishing up nursing as he crawled in bed with them.

“Mouse leave?”

“Yea. He said he’d let us rest.”

“He’s so good to us.”

Jay smiled as he took Jayden to burp. Both babies burped good, and Jayla snuggled on Lauren still sleepy. Nat had said that would be normal so Lauren softly sang to her as Jayla drifted off. Jay smiled as Lauren went to lay her down. She watched over her to make sure she was breathing ok.

Jay had Jayden playing on the bed as he watched Lauren on the monitor. He knew she was worried about Jayla so he gave her this time. In just a few minutes she came back joining them. “Hey little man. Are you having fun with daddy?”

Jayden smiled at her before rubbing his eyes.

“Nap time for you too buddy,” Jay said picking him up and rocking back and forth. Lauren couldn’t help but smile. He was such a good daddy and husband. She loved watching him with their babies.

It wasn’t a few minutes and Jayden was sound asleep too. Jay carried him to their room and laid him down in his crib. He checked on Jayla and she was still breathing fine so he went to check on Lauren. She’d curled up on his pillow and fallen asleep.

He draped a blanket over her and kissed her cheek softly. He made sure she was good and asleep then went to start dinner. As busy as the ER had been while they were there, he wasn’t sure if Will and Nat would’ve had a chance to eat today or not.

He sent Will a text to see when they got off as he started cooking. The babies slept about an hour and a half, just as he was finishing up dinner. He went and got them; Lauren was still asleep. He carried them out to the living room and put them in their bouncy seats to play. Jayla watched his every move, but she was content to play for a bit.

Lauren woke just before Will and Nat got there. “Jay,” she called.

“Yea baby?” he said going to the bedroom door. She smiled sleepily at him rubbing her eyes. Jay smiled and went and sat on the bed in front of her. He softly kissed her pulling her into his lap. Lauren smiled against his lips. “Good nap?”

“Yea. Where’s the babies?” she asked slightly panicked.

“Hey, hey. They’re fine. They’re in their bouncy seats playing and Mickey is on.”

Lauren sighed softly; “Sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be sorry love. It’s ok,” he smiled.

She nodded as they heard a knock on the door. “Will and Nat are here. Let’s go eat,” Jay smiled.

Lauren nodded as she got up to get her babies as Jay let them in. They sat down to eat, Lauren and Jay each holding a baby. Will and Nat were exhausted from their busy day, but loved spending time with them.

Once they were done eating, Nat took Jayla and snuggled her, glad to see her breathing better. Jayla smiled up at her. “Any more problems?” she asked as Will took Jayden.

“No, she’s been good,” Lauren smiled.

Natalie smiled. After a few minutes she and Will switched and she took Jayden while he took Jayla. Jayla just gazed up at him with a smile. She definitely thought her uncles hung the moon already.

“Ok so do an inhaler treatment in the morning, and if you have any problems call ok? The first few times can be stressful while yall figure it out and she gets used to it.”

“Thanks Nat,” Lauren smiled as they babies started getting fussy. “Well that’s my cue,” she laughed taking both babies. She took them to her room as Jay cleaned up.

“Here I’ll help,” Will smiled.

“It’s fine Will, I got it. You’ve had a busy. Go home and relax.”

“You sure little brother?”

“Yea I’m sure. Go. We’ll see yall later.”

“Alright buddy. Call if yall need anything.”

“We will. Night guys,” Jay said locking up behind them. Once he had the kitchen he cleaned, he went to their room. Lauren was just fixing to give the twins their bath. He went to help her, bathing Jayden while she bathed Jayla. They were both almost asleep.

Once bath time was over, they dressed them in their pajamas and went to their room. Lauren was softly singing to Jayla as she rocked her, Jayden having already fallen asleep against Jay. He laid him down in his crib with a kiss to the cheek. He propped up in the doorway watching Lauren and Jayla. He never could get enough of watching her with their babies.

In just a few minutes, Jayla was sound asleep. Lauren softly kissed her cheek and listened to her breathing for just a minute before laying her down in her crib. She turned on the night light for their room and watched her babies sleeping for a minute. Jay wrapped his arms around her laying his head on her shoulder.

She leaned into his embrace with a smile. “They’re ok,” he whispered.

“I know,” she smiled. “I just like watching them sleep and making sure.”

Jay smiled as he softly kissed her neck; she tried hiding the yawn that escaped but he saw it. “Come on beautiful; let’s get you to bed. I know it’s been a long tiring day,” he said scooping her up. Lauren wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to bed.

He crawled in after laying her down and she snuggled close. “Make sure the monitor is turned up?” she asked quietly. Jay nodded turning it up as loud as it would go. He knew she wanted to be able to hear if Jayla had any problems in the night. She wasn’t as heavy of a sleeper now that the babies had come along, but she could still sleep pretty deep.

Jay softly rubbed her back as he held her close. “Go to sleep love. We’ll hear if anything happens I promise.”

“I know… I just…. I hate she’s going to have to do this all the time, but it could’ve been much worse so I can't really complain.”

Jay smiled as he kissed her forehead. “It’s going to be ok. We will adjust to it, and it won't be as hard as these first few days.”

“Yea I know,” she whispered sleepily.

“Go to sleep baby. I’m here,” he whispered as he started playing with her hair. In just a few minutes he heard her breathing even out and she was sound asleep. He softly kissed her forehead as he picked up the monitor and watched the babies sleeping. He had to admit he’d been scared at the hospital too although he hid it for Lauren. He didn’t like seeing his babies sick, and it had been hard listening to her struggle to breathe.

He hoped the daily inhaler would help prevent her from having any more attacks, but Mouse was right when he said Jay knew how it worked. They would be ok, but it would take some adjusting. He put the monitor back on his bed side table after a few minutes and allowed himself to drift off too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it :) The drama will pick up for the next few chapters, but there will still be some fluff I promise :) Let me know what you think   
> Up Next: A really rough case for Intelligence


	41. A Tough Case

They had finally settled into a routine with Jayla’s inhaler treatments. They would do her treatment and then nurse while Jay fixed breakfast. He would go to work and then at night, they would do it between bath time and nursing. Jayla was finally starting to adjust to it.

The first few treatments had been so stressful. Jayla had tried fighting, not liking the mask on her face. It had taken them both to give her the treatment. Jayla was their skin on skin baby, loved being that close with either of them. So Jay would hold her against his chest and she’d turn her ear listening to his heart beat as he softly talked to her. Lauren would work the inhaler as they made sure she’d breathe enough.

The first few times had been so stressful, but now that Jayla had adjusted to it, things were easier almost two weeks later.

They’d just finished her morning treatment, and Jay had gone to get Jayden. Lauren settled in to nurse while Jay fixed breakfast. He’d just finished it when Antonio called telling him to get to the station; they’d caught a bad one. Jay went to tell Lauren, and she told him to be careful. Jay headed out to work leaving her with the babies.

Lauren gazed down at them; “Well daddy’s going to be busy. What do you two say to going and seeing Uncle Kelly and Aunt Leslie today?” they babies just watched her as they finished nursing. She burped them both as she sent Kelly a text to see if they could come visit.

She took the babies to the living room to play while she ate. Kelly told her they could come over any time they wanted. Lauren had just finished eating when she got a text from Jay; “Don’t know when I’ll be home. Justin was victim in today’s case. He’s at Med and it doesn’t look promising. I’ll text ya when I know more.”

Lauren let out a soft sigh. “Just be careful and I’ll see you when I can.” She wouldn’t admit it, but she was worried about what this would do to the unit and what Erin would try. She tried to tell herself not to worry about it as she got the babies ready to go see Kelly and Shay.

Kelly and Shay were waiting on them when Lauren knocked. He took one of the carriers from her and she smiled her thanks.

“How are you?” Kelly smiled as they settled in the living room getting the babies out.

“Good,” she smiled. “Things have finally settled down.”

“Oh good,” he smiled holding Jayla. Shay came in from the kitchen and took Jayden from her. Lauren settled into the couch watching them with a smile.

“Yea. She’s gotten used to the inhaler and it’s gotten easier.”

“That’s good. I told you it would,” Kelly smiled.

“Yea, yea I know,” Lauren smiled as Jayla patted Kelly’s arm. Jayden was cooing to Shay and Lauren smiled watching her coo back.

Kelly was watching them too, and Lauren nudged him with her foot. She gave him a smile and he rolled his eyes. Lauren pointed at her rings, and nodded towards Shay. Kelly just shook his head with a smile. She knew before long he’d get around to asking.

After playing with the babies until nap time, Kelly fixed them lunch. After lunch they played and snuggled some more with the babies. Of course they both loved all the attention from their aunt and uncle.

Around six, Jay text saying Justin hadn’t made it and he’d be home soon. Lauren let out a soft sigh alerting Kelly to the fact that something was wrong.

“What is it?” he asked.

“I need to get home. Jay’s had a rough case and there’s no telling where this is going to lead.”

“What do you mean sis?” he asked helping her gather up the twins’ toys and things.

“Justin Voight was the victim in today’s case and he didn’t make it.”

“Oh honey,” he said giving her a hug. He knew she was worried about what the fallout would be.

“He’s headed home so I better get these monkeys home,” she said trying to smile.

Kelly gave her another hug. “Ok. You call if you need anything ok?”

“Yea we will Kel,” she smiled. She got the twins in their carriers and Jayden started throwing a fit. He still hated it, and her nerves were already on edge. She took a deep breath and picked them up; Kelly took Jayden’s carrier from her and tried talking to him as they went down to her car.

Once she had them snapped in, she found his paci and stuffed bear. She gave them both to him and softly rubbed his cheek getting him to calm. Kelly couldn’t help but smile watching her; she’d really blossomed in her role as mother, and he couldn’t be more proud of her.

He gave her a tight hug. “Yall will be fine. Jay loves you three and nothing will change that.”

“I know,” she smiled. “Thanks Kel.”

“Of course. Drive safe little bit.” Lauren smiled as she got in her car and headed home.

She got home and got the babies upstairs. Luckily she’d fixed a crockpot dinner so it would be ready when he got home. She’d just gotten the babies in the bath when she heard him come in.

“Hey baby. We’re in the bathroom,” she called. In just a minute he joined her.

“Hey,” he smiled kneeling down by the tub to help her.

“I got them baby. Supper’s in there if you wanna go eat.”

“Maybe in a minute,” he smiled washing Jayden off. Lauren smiled watching him. She could tell he was worn out, but he would always do anything to help her or spend time with his babies. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I love you,” she smiled.

Jay looked at her and smiled his first smile since that morning before he left them. “I love you too Lauren.”

Lauren smiled and turned back to finish up the babies bath. “Ok you two, let’s get in our pjs. It’s almost bedtime,” she cooed as Jay got their towels. They wrapped them up and dried them off.

“Jay go eat baby. I got them,” she smiled.

“No, I need to help you with Jayla.”

“We’ll be fine this one time. Go eat.”

Jay finally gave in because he’d skipped lunch. Lauren put Jayden on the blanket in the floor to play as she got Jayla’s inhaler. She laid Jayla back against her and put the mask over her face.

She started fussing and trying to turn her head side to side to get off. “It’s ok baby. Just our normal treatment. You’re ok,” Lauren cooed as Jayla wiggled and turned her head crying. She tried singing softly to her as she attempted to hold her and work the inhaler. Jayla fussed and reached for the mask causing Lauren to have to hold her hands too.

She wasn’t breathing the medicine in because she was crying, and Lauren was trying hard not to get frustrated. “Jayla, baby, you’re ok. It’s ok,” she cooed. She took the mask off hoping to get her calm and try again. She rocked her side to side softly singing to her. “You’ve got to take your medicine baby girl. It’s ok,” she cooed.

Jay walked through with his food. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“She got upset. Wouldn’t quit crying enough to breathe it in,” Lauren said as Jayla calmed. “We’ll try again,” she smiled turning Jayla to lay back against her. As soon as she reached for the mask, Jayla started crying. Lauren let out a sigh.

“Here,” Jay said stripping his shirt and reaching for Jayla. He laid her against him pulling her pajama shirt off. He laid her blanket over them, and Jayla rubbed her eyes calming down. “Change in her routine; she don’t like it,” he said as Lauren slipped the mask on her.

Jayla rubbed her eyes as Jay settled her over his heart. Lauren worked the inhaler, and Jayla did just fine, like always. By the time they were done, Jayden was fussy getting hungry.

“You eat. I’ll get them down,” she said picking up Jayden too. Jay cleaned Jayla’s mouth, and then passed her to Lauren. She took them to their room to rock as she settled in to nurse. She felt so helpless that Jayla wouldn’t take the inhaler from her.

She knew Jay was right and it was just a change, but she still couldn’t help but feel upset. She had no idea what she’d do if Jay wasn’t around, and she had to give it to her. She gazed down at her sleepy babies; “Mommy loves you both so much,” she whispered. “And so does your daddy. You both are loved so very much.”

Once the babies finished nursing, she burped them. Jayden fell asleep almost right away. She laid him down covering him up. Jayla was rubbing her eyes and sucking her thumb. She had Jay’s blue eyes, and she was just watching Lauren.

“Go to sleep baby girl,” Lauren whispered laying her down. Jayla started fussing immediately so Lauren picked her back up to rock. She softly sang to her and in just a few minutes, Jayla was sound asleep.

Jay had been standing in the doorway watching with a smile. After she laid Jayla down, he wrapped his arms around her waist. He softly kissed her cheek; “You three make any bad day better,” he whispered.

Lauren turned in his arms, softly kissing him. “We’ll always be here,” she smiled. “Come on. Let’s get you in bed. I’m sure you’re tired,” she said grabbing his hand and leading him to bed.

“Yea a little,” he said. “It was a long day, and tomorrow don’t look to be any better. Let me shower and I’ll join you in bed,” he said.

“Ok baby,” she smiled changing into his t-shirt for bed. She still loved sleeping in them.

Jay went to shower. It’d been a long, stressful day, and now that Olive had made the decision to turn off life support, tomorrow would be worse. Voight would be out for revenge, and he had no idea how it was going to effect the unit just yet. He let out a sigh; he couldn’t worry about that now, not when his wife was waiting on him in bed.

He got out drying off before slipping on boxers and going out to their room. She was lying in bed looking at the twins’ pictures from when they were born. Seeing her looking at those made him remember to ask her about the photo shoot she was going to have for them. It’d gotten pushed aside after he’d got shot, but he knew how important it was to her to capture pictures of their babies.

Jay crawled in behind her, wrapping his arms around her. “Whatcha doing beautiful?” he whispered.

Lauren laid the pictures back on her night stand. “Just looking at how far they’ve come,” she whispered.

Jay softly kissed her cheek. “That wasn’t your fault, and tonight wasn’t either baby.”

“I know,” she smiled sadly. “Tell me about today,” she said rolling and rubbing his cheek changing the subject.

“Not going to work on me,” he smiled. “I know you’re feeling helpless and like it was your fault,” he said rubbing her cheek.

Lauren sighed softly; he knew her so well. “I just… if you’re not around, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Jay placed a soft kiss on her forehead. “Hopefully that won't happen, but if it does, you’ll know what to do. You’re a good mother, Lauren. Our babies are more than lucky to have you, and so am I.”

Lauren nodded as Jay wiped her tears.

“For two weeks she’s had a routine. The first few times it’s different, it’ll probably upset her, but it will be ok,” he smiled wiping her tears away.

Lauren smiled kissing him hard. “Thank you,” she whispered when they broke apart.

“Of course baby. I mean it when I said our babies are lucky and so am I. You’re an amazing mother and wife, and I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jay, so much,” she smiled. After another searing kiss, she pulled back softly rubbing his face.  “Tell me about today,” she whispered.

Jay let out a soft sigh. “Justin was attacked and left for dead in the truck of a car. We’re still piecing it together, but he sent us home because Olive called needing him at the hospital. She’s making the decision to turn off life support.”

Lauren softly stroked his face; “I’m sorry sweetheart,” she whispered.

“It’s ok. The next few days are going to be long and there’s no telling what’s actually going to happen.”

Lauren nodded; “I know, but we’re always here for hugs and snuggles,” she smiled.

Jay softly kissed her. “I’ll probably take you up on that, too.”

Lauren smiled. “So…. How… ummm…. How’d Erin act today?” she asked quietly.

Jay rubbed her back knowing she was worried. “She was fine, mad, angry, but stable until we left. I have no idea what it’s going to be like after this. But I can tell you, that NO matter what, you and the twins will be fine and safe. I won't let anything happen, and at the first sign of trouble, I’ll say something.”

Lauren nodded as she drew random patterns on his bare chest. She was worried, but she had to trust him. “I know you will,” she whispered. She laid her head on his chest as he played with her hair. It wasn’t long and they both fell asleep.

The next day was rough for Jay. Hank was out for revenge and Erin was emotional. By day’s end, the unit’s fate was questionable and Jay just wanted it over. What would come next was anyone’s guess.


	42. The Weeks After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's shorter than normal, but I had a chance to write this last Saturday and since updates are sporadic because of work and school, I decided to just go ahead and publish it. Enjoy!

The weeks after Justin's death were hard. The team continued to work cases even though Voight had gone off the rails for a few weeks. Erin was an emotional wreck, but had only taken a week off. She was reckless on chases and she even tougher in interrogations. Jay said something but no one would say anything to her or pull her back afraid of her's and Voight's wrath.

Finally a month after Justin's death, Erin couldn't take it anymore. She was spiraling with no one to help her. Voight was in his own world dealing with things his own way. Jay was ignoring her. He had nothing to do with her. He wouldn't even speak at work.

Around lunch, she just up and left. She didn't say anything to anyone, and she never came back. Hank called Jay into his office.

"Sir?"

"You need to find Erin."

"Like hell I do! I have nothing to do with her."

"Which is exactly why she's missing right now!" Voight yelled pointing his finger at Jay's chest.

"You know what, I get you're still grieving and she is like a daughter to you. But I have nothing to do with where she is right now. I said something weeks ago that she needed help again and no one listened, so you're not laying this on me!"

Voight took a step back and a deep breath. The kid was right; he had said something. "Yea... yea you're right. But... she's... she's... she's all I've got left Jay. She's it besides Danny, and Olive... she's thinking of moving back closer to her family."

"Look Sarg I get it. It's a bad place for you both, but I can't help you."

"But you can Jay. See you can get through to her. She listens to you."

Jay sighed. He knew in some way Erin still had feelings for him, but this just confirmed it. "Sarge, I don't know what you want me to do... I refuse to give her false hope. I have a family that I love very much, and she has caused so much stress and tension there. I will not sacrifice my family for her, I just won't."

"I'm not asking you to Jay. I'm just asking that you find Erin and bring her back."

Jay nodded running a hand through his hair. "Yea sure I'll see what I can do."

Voight nodded and Jay went out. He rapped on Mouse's desk and headed downstairs to his old hideaway, knowing Mouse would follow him.

"What's up?" Mouse asked.

"Track Erin's phone," Jay said staring off into space.

"Is Voight making you do this? Because you don't have to Jay. You don't owe her a damn thing."

"Just do it Mouse... please," he added quietly.

Mouse nodded sitting down by his best friend. This was not going to be good, he already knew it, but he did it anyways. In just five minutes he had her location.

"Jay... seriously think about this before you do anything," Mouse said handing him a piece of paper with an address. Jay just nodded as he took it heading out.

He sent Lauren a text letting her know he would be late. He hated keeping anything from her, but he had to do this to keep Hank sane. He knew Jayla would probably give her a fit about the inhaler, but he hoped it went smoothly. He had to push them out of his head and focus on this like a case or it'd backfire quickly.

He pulled up at the address and sighed. It was the cemetery. He could only guess she was at Justin's grave. He slowly drove around looking for her. When he finally saw her, he stopped. He got out, grabbing the blanket out of the trunk and walked to her.

"Erin," he said not to startle her.

"Leave me alone."

"I can't exactly do that. We got worried when you never came back."

Erin scoffed. "You don't worry about me, so don't pretend like you do."

"Ok fine. Everyone else is worried about you."

"Yea well you can go back and tell them I'm just fine."

He draped the blanket around her; "Clearly you're not fine Erin."

She shrugged the blanket off rolling her eyes. "What do you care anyways?! You can't even speak to me any other day."

"Yea you're right. But this isn't about me. It's about you and your dad."

"He's not my dad!"

"Oh cut the shit Erin. He's the closest thing to a father you have and he loves you like you're his own. If it wasn't for him I wouldn't even be out here right now!"

She stood up facing him and slapped him. He grabbed her hand; "Then leave! I don't need you!" She screamed.

"You know what fine! You wanna act like a spoiled crazy person then go for it. You're no different than before," he said turning to go.

He heard her sharp intake of breath, knowing she'd been trying to prove to him she was different. He paused when he heard her tears start.

"Erin, enough is enough. You have to face your problems head on, and if Justin's death as sent you down another spiral, you need to admit it and get help. Sarge really is worried about you and asked me to come find you so I did. You're all he has left Erin. You need to come back."

Erin sank to the ground in sobs making him sigh. "Ok... ok... I get it," he said kneeling in front of her. "It's been hard, I know, but running away solves nothing."

Erin wrapped around him tight sobbing. Jay tried prying her loose but couldn't. He sighed letting her cry it out. "Let's go. I'm taking you . Voight's, and you need to talk to someone," he said helping her to the car.

Once in the car she calmed some. "You were everything," she whispered.

"No Erin, I wasn't. I was your partner and that was it. You made it into more than it ever really was. I'm happily married with an amazing wife and kids. I will not jeopardize my life with them for you, ever."

"But you just did... does Lauren know where you are?" She asked coyly.

Jay sucked in a breath. He'd been played. "You need to get your shit straight Lindsay because this is enough. I did what I told our boss I would, and now I'm delivering you to his front door. Nothing more! Got it?!"

"Whatever you say Jay. My shit is straight. But you are my everything," she whispered running her fingers on his arm. He jerked it away rolling his eyes.

"I came out tonight because you are all Hank has left and he asked. Now here you are. Get out and stay away from me."

"Oh Jay. Just relax. You can go back to being an ass tomorrow," she said smugly as she got out closing the door pulling the grieving face back out as she went up to Hank's door.

Jay ran his hands through his hair. His phone buzzed. It was a text from Lauren. "Babies are asleep. Getting worried. Everything ok?"

Jay sighed; at least that meant Jayla had taken her inhaler ok. He text back, "Everything's ok. Headed home now." He put the car in drive and headed home.

When he got home, it was quiet. Lauren was curled on the couch in his hoodie reading. He smiled and walked over to her. "Hey beautiful," he smiled leaning down and softly kissing her.

"Hey," she smiled up at him returning the kiss. She had a funny look on her face.

"What is it?" He asked brushing a curl behind her ear.

"I dunno. You smell weird. Kinda like..." she sniffed, "perfume?" She said with another funny look.

"Oh. I didn't smell it. I'll go shower," he said pulling his shirt off.

"Jay... what's wrong? Why do you smell like perfume?"

"I'll tell you after I shower," he said heading straight for the shower. He needed time to word it so she wouldn't jump to the wrong conclusions. He sighed. This just wasn't going to end well. Why hadn't he just listened to Mouse...

Lauren was curled up on the couch confused. What was up with him? She wondered. She assumed it was case related and heated up his supper while she waited.

She heard him get out about the time his phone dinged. She was afraid it was important since he'd worked late, so she picked it up. It was a text from Erin. "Thanks for tonight. You made it all better."

Lauren sucked in a breath and dropped the phone. Jay walked out and saw her. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Lauren just looked at him in shock.

"Lauren... talk to me what is it?"

"Were you working tonight?" She whispered shrugging out of his hold.

"Kinda," Jay said reaching for her, but she shrugged away turning her back to him as she bit her nail.

"Were you with Erin?" She whispered.

"What makes you think that?" He asked walking towards her.

Lauren turned around and picked up his phone throwing it at him. "What were you doing Jay?" She asked. "What did you make better? How'd you make it better?" She said shoving his chest.

"Lauren it's not what you think. Let me explain." He said.

"Oh... so it's not what I think but you come home smelling like her perfume and she's texting you," she said with tears gathering in her eyes.

"Lauren just stop and listen. She went off the rails today. Voight asked me to bring her back because she's all he has left."

"So you did it? After everything... everything and me telling you... specifically telling you I wanted you to have nothing to do with her, you did it anyways?!"

"Lauren..."

"Just answer the question." She said trying not to break.

"Yes," he whispered.

Lauren was fuming and hurt all at the same time. She shoved past him and went to their room slamming and locking the door. She had no idea how he could do this to them. After everything Erin had put them through and he helps anyways.

She sank to the floor crying. She felt so hurt and betrayed by the one person she loved the most.

Jay could hear her crying and had heard the lock flip. He sighed as he sank into the couch. He'd really screwed up and he had it fix it because there was no way Erin was ruining his marriage. He turned off his phone not even texting back.


	43. Have to Make-up

He went to their door and knocked softly. Lauren was still in the floor crying. "Lauren... please baby open the door and talk to me," he pleaded.

"Go away," she said.

"I'm not doing that and you know it. Open the door please."

Lauren ignored him as more tears flowed. She didn't know what to do or think.

Jay used his weight and shoved and pushed on the door. He knew it was locked and if he broke it oh well. He had to get to his wife.

Lauren could feel him and knew if she didn't open it, they would be doorless. She got up and unlocked it twisting the knob at the same time he pushed hard. She couldn't help the little laugh that escaped seeing him almost fall.

Jay heard it and thought it was a decent sign. "Please... let's talk," he said walking towards her.

Lauren backed away. She was still hurt and upset. "Talk," she said quietly holding her hand up to stop him from coming any closer. She'd listen but she needed some space at the moment.

Jay nodded and took a breath. "Voight asked me to go find her tonight. She left at lunch and never came back. " was worried. I told him no that I wouldn't, but he insisted that I was the only one she'd listen to. She was all he had left. The only way to keep him sane was to find her. So I did it. I didn't want to; I had no ulterior motive except to get her for him. She played the sob story card and hugged me before I could stop her which is why I smelled like her I guess. It wasn't until we were almost back to Voight's did I realize she'd played me. I know you're hurt and I get it, but I would never ever intentionally hurt you and I don't wanna lose you baby."

Just then Jayla woke fussy. Lauren walked past him without saying anything to get her. She believed him but she needed some time. She went into the nursery. "Hey baby girl. You're ok. Let's go back to sleep," she cooed sitting down and rocking her.

She softly sang to her and in just a little bit Jayla was back asleep. She laid her down and tucked her in. She knew Jay would be waiting to talk to her but she really didn't know what to say yet.

She went back to their room and crawled in bed. He was sitting there waiting on her just like she thought.

"She ok?" He asked.

Lauren nodded; "Yea she's back asleep."

"Good," he said fiddling with his hands. "Lauren... I really am sorry and didn't mean to hurt you. I was just doing a job."

"I know and I believe you, but I meant it too Jay when I said I didn't want you having anything to do with her."

"I know and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Lauren nodded. She knew deep down it was almost impossible for him not to have anything to do with her, but she really didn't want him around Erin at all. That night they went to sleep. Things weren't perfect but they were ok at least.

The next day was Saturday and he was glad to be off. He wanted Lauren just to himself to make up for last night. He text Kelly to see if they could come over and keep the twins for a bit. When he got a positive reply, he went to make breakfast.

Just as he was finishing he heard the twins waking. He pushed breakfast aside and went to get them.

"Good morning little ones," he cooed picking them both up. Jayden was wide awake and Jayla was just waking up. She took after her mama and was not a morning person he thought.

He changed them both and went to see if Lauren was up as Jayden started eating his fist.

Lauren was just starting to wake up having heard them. "Hey little loves," she cooed stretching and sitting up."

Jayden started fussing and wiggling wanting his mama. "He's hungry," Jay laughed passing Jayden to her.

"Well goodness baby. Here mommy will feed you," she cooed adjusting the pillow and taking her shirt off.

It always took Jay's breath when he watched her feeding the babies. "She awake and hungry?" Lauren asked.

"She's awake but doesn't act hungry," he said sitting down by her.

"Do you wanna do the inhaler and then I'll feed her?"

"Yea sure," he smiled getting it. He laid Jayla against him and gave her the treatment while Lauren fed Jayden.

Once she was done he cleaned out her mouth. By now she was fully awake and starving. Jayden was just finishing so once he was done they switched.

Jay burped Jayden and snuggled him while watching Lauren and Jayla. "So Kelly and Shay are gonna come over and keep them for a little bit today."

"Why?" She asked looking at him confused.

"Because I want you to myself for a little bit today," he smiled big.

"Oh," she smiled shyly with a slight blush. She wasn't exactly sure where they stood after last night, but she wanted to get past it. "Anything... uh... anything special I need for today?"

"Riding shoes," he smiled.

Secretly she smiled. He wanted to spend time with her and he was taking her riding. That could only mean it was gonna be a good day.

She finished feeding Jayla and then they went out to eat. They put the babies on the floor to play while they ate. Jayden loved his toys and Jayla loved watching TV.

They finished eating about the time Kelly and Shay showed up. Jay let them in as Lauren went to get ready.

"Thanks for doing this," Jay smiled.

"Of course, anytime. We love keeping them," Shay smiled.

The babies squealed happily seeing their aunt and uncle. If they could crawl they probably would've crawled to them. Jay just chuckled and went to get ready.

Lauren was in the closet deciding on what to wear. Jay snuck up behind her and softly kissed her neck. "Here wear this," he whispered pulling out her red strapless dress she'd worn on their first date back when she'd come back to Chicago before her last semester of college.

Lauren smiled. She knew he loved her dresses. "Ok," she whispered taking it and putting it on.

Jay got ready and Lauren went out to kiss and hug her babies. "You two be good for uncle Kelly and aunt Leslie ok?" She cooed kissing both their cheeks. "There's milk in the fridge. You should have enough but if not call me and we'll come back."

"We'll be fine, sis. Go enjoy your day," Kelly smiled.

Lauren nodded and got her bag and they headed out. Jay slipped his hands over her eyes when they got to the parking garage. "What are you doing?" She laughed.

"A surprise," he smiled sliding his hands off. He heard her intake of breath when she saw it.

"Jay... what?... where?... whose is this?" She asked seeing a different bike parked in his spot.

Jay smiled, "It's mine."

"How'd you... we can't... we can't afford a new bike," she said exasperated. What the hell was he thinking buying a new bike when he was the only one working and they had twins.

Jay squeezed her shoulders with a smile. "I traded in the Ducati for this. Harley had a deal going for vets with their new program. I saw it, I loved it and I thought you would too. Plus with the added back seat you can ride more comfortable than on the Ducati," he smiled.

"Are you serious?" She whispered knowing how much he loved his Ducati.

"Yes baby I am. With the trade in i barely had to pay anything so you don't have to worry about any extra payments."

"Jay... it's... wow I do love it," she said walking closer and running her hand over it. She had to admit it was a pretty sexy bike and she was sure he looked just as sexy on it.

"Come on, let's go for a ride," he smiled picking her up and sitting her on it. He handed her her helmet before sliding on in front of her.

He started it up and they took off. He felt her tighten around him in the curves and he loved it. There was nothing like his woman wrapped him with the bike under them enjoying the day. They rode up towards Kenosha before pulling off at a secluded section of beach with no one around.

He stood up pulling his helmet off as she did the same. "So...? What'd you think?" He asked with a big grin.

"It was great baby," she smiled shaking her hair out. It really did feel good to be back on the bike. They hadn't rode since she'd found out she was pregnant.

"I know. I loved it when I tested it and knew you'd like it too," he smiled leaning down and kissing her.

Lauren smiled. "You like it better than the Ducati?"

"Yea I do," he smiled.

"Good. So what are we doing today?" She smiled.

Jay grinned, "Come on and I'll show you." He took her hand glad he'd snuck the beach towel in her backpack before they left. He found a secluded little area of the beach, set back on the dunes.

He got in her backpack and spread out the towel watching as the smile grew on her face. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Spending the day with my love," he smiled laying down on his side so she could lay with him. Lauren laid down by him and he pulled her close laying his arm over her.

"Lauren... i love you baby. I love you so much and only you. I'm so very very sorry for last night. Mouse tried to stop me and I should've listened."

Lauren rubbed his cheek; "I know Jay," she whispered softly kissing his cheek. "I know it was just a job and you weren't trying to hurt me. It did hurt, but I just can't stand her. She's caused us so much pain... I... I just want her gone."

"I know sweetie and I wish I could make it happen."

"I know," she smiled softly kissing him.

"I promise nothing like that will ever happen again. I only want you baby," he smiled.

"I know," she whispered before rolling him on his back and kissing him with everything she had. Jay wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back.

This was all he wanted, his wife and his babies. Erin would never come between them again as far as he was concerned.

They made out heavy on the beach. Jay was glad no one was around. He slowly pulled back from her kiss and rubbed her cheek. Her lips were swollen from their kisses, her cheeks slightly blushed, and her hair a mess from his fingers running through it, but she was so beautiful and sexy to him.

"What is it?" She whispered rubbing his chest.

"You are so damn sexy, baby."

Lauren grinned and kissed him again.

"Come on we're getting out of here," he smiled wrapping his arms around her and picking her up. She giggled hanging on. "Where are we going?"

"To the bike," he smiled holding her tight. He'd parked it behind a patch of trees making it completely secluded from everyone. He tossed her backpack and their towel down beside the bike. He sat her on his seat and climbed behind her.

"Jay... I... I'm not driving," she said slightly panicked.

He wrapped his arms around her and nipped at her ear. "You're not driving love. We're breaking the bike in," he whispered.

Lauren moaned as he sucked on her neck. He grabbed her legs and placed her feet on the handle bars laying her back on him.

"Fuck Jay," she moaned looking up at him with sex eyes.

"Mmmm oh yes baby," he grinned kissing her hard.

He rubbed her thighs as he kissed on her neck. Lauren moaned arching up using the handlebars for leverage. She needed his hands to move.

He grinned against her neck. "This should work really well," he whispered flicking the bike on as he moved her panties to the side.

Lauren moaned loud taken back by the feeling of him all around her and the vibrations from the bike. "Jay... baby... please," she begged tossing her head on his chest.

"Please what?" He whispered teasing her.

"Need... to feel you," she moaned.

Jay smiled. He softly kissed up and down her neck as he let his fingers drift over her clit. Lauren arched up with a loud loan again.

"Tan mojada hermosa," he whispered biting her ear lobe. "Tan listo para que te haga llegar."

"Jay... Ahhhh fuck baby," she moaned.

"True?" He whispered.

Lauren nodded. "Not good enough," he whispered moving his fingers.

"Jay..." she whimpered but he wouldn't move. She looked up at him, "Yes I'm so wet and ready for you to make me come," she whispered biting her lip.

Jay leaned down and kissed her hard as he slid two fingers into her. She arched up allowing him to go deep before he pushed her back down to feel the bike under them.

It was almost too much. "Jay... Jay... please," she begged.

"Please what?" He whispered brushing his thumb on her clit.

Lauren moaned. She was so close but he wouldn't let her come yet. "Say it beautiful," he whispered.

"Por favor, haga que viene," she whispered.

Jay smiled kissing her hard. His thumb brushed her clit as he twisted his fingers hitting her gspot just right. Lauren arched up screaming his name as she exploded.

There was just something super sexy about his woman on his bike screaming his name as he made her come. He rode it out and as soon as she'd started to come down he climbed off and scooped her up. He sat down with his back to the front and pulled her on his lap straddling him.

She was panting for breath but he just had to have her. He kissed her hard as he unzipped his jeans and slid her down on him.

She broke the kiss, tossing her head back with a loud moan. She squeezed him tight knowing it's what got him going. The bike was still vibrating beneath them as she rode him hard and fast.

"Jay... Jay... Jay... so... close," she panted nuzzling his neck. She kissed up to his ear and licked it. She squeezed him over and over knowing she wouldn't last but a few more thrusts.

She bit his ear lobe. "You're gonna come when I do. You only come for me Jay Matthew. Me... you are mine and only mine," she whispered in his ear.

Jay loved her jealous side. It was so fucking sexy. "Just... yours baby," he panted.

She clamped down around him hard. She bit his ear again. "You only make love and fuck me," she whispered.

Jay moaned... "Lauren... baby... just yours... just yours," he panted grabbing her hands and locking them with his. He rubbed her rings fighting for breath. "Married you... only you," he panted.

She locked eyes with him as she squeezed him again. She freed one hand and reached around him revving the engine making it vibrate more. She thrust down on him at the same time and bit his ear. "Come Jay," she whispered exploding over him in a mind shattering orgasm.

Jay tossed his head back screaming her name as he exploded with her. They rode it out together panting and moaning. It was like nothing they'd experienced in a while.

Jay recovered a little sooner than Lauren. He turned the bike off and held her tight. "Damn... baby... you are sexy," he panted rubbing her back.

Lauren could only whimper. She was still working on catching her breath as she came down. Jay kissed around her face and rubbed her back.

"It's so sexy when you're jealous and staking your claim," he whispered.

Lauren managed to laugh into his neck. "Oh really now detective?" She whispered getting a nod from Jay.

"So sexy baby." He pulled her up and softly kissed her. "Too sore to ride now?"

Lauren shook her head no. "I just wanna snuggle you," she whispered just wanting to be close to him.

"What do you say we head back and we'll snuggle all day?" He smiled.

Lauren nodded. "Sounds good. I'll have to pump once we're home."

Jay nodded. He slowly slid her off him and cleaned her up some. He settled her on the bike putting her helmet on her. He climbed on and she wrapped around him. They headed for home.

When they got home the babies were asleep. "Have fun?" Kelly asked and got smiles from them both.

"How's the babies?" Lauren asked.

"Both just went to sleep so you should be good," Shay smiled.

"Thanks you two," Jay smiled.

"Anytime," Kelly said as they headed out.

Jay carried Lauren to their bathroom. If the twins just went to sleep they had at least two hours before they were up. He ran them a bath and then got in with her.

She sighed snuggling back against him. She just wanted him close and the water felt great. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what love?"

"Making today for us. It's been perfect."

Jay smiled softly kissing her cheek. "I'll always do anything for you my beautiful wife."

"I know," she smiled. "I love you so much Jay Matthew."

"i love you so much too Lauren Kathleen. You and only you."

Lauren smiled up at him. She knew it was true. Life might not always be perfect, but she knew she's always have him; her husband, her Jay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed 43! Yes I should be doing homework but I wrote instead (Shhh don't tell lol) please let me know what you think. More to come next chance I get :)


	44. A Brother's Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I struggle with filler chapters to get me to where I wanna go next in the story, and this was a good stopping point. I hope you enjoy. The next few chapters are already in the works so hopefully they'll be out soon.

It'd been about a week since their day of make up sex on his bike, and things had been going great. The twins were happy and growing, and Jay and Lauren were in a good place. Fall was hitting Chicago and it was beautiful.

Jay was just finishing a case when Will text asking if they could have dinner together and Jay said sure.

Will told him that he was cooking and they could come up whenever. Jay wondered what was up because while he loved his brother, he rarely ever cooked. Jay sent Lauren a text telling her the plans and that he'd be home soon.

Will and Nat were both off, and while she was resting, Will cooked. He'd never been happier in his life. While things hadn't always been easy with Jay since their mom's death, they had managed to work it out and things were better than ever.

He peeked in on Natalie; she was sleeping peacefully on the couch making him smile. He never knew he could love like this, and while they hadn't actually said the words yet, he knew he really did love her.

It had taken him by surprise no doubt, but she made him want to be a better man for her. He couldn't wipe the smile off his face as he went to finish dinner.

Just as he finished up some homemade baked spaghetti and garlic bread, his mama's recipe, he felt hands wrap around him. His smile grew as she hugged him tight.

"Something smells good."

Will turned in her arms and softly kissed her. "Homemade baked spaghetti and garlic bread. One of my mama's recipes I actually learned," he smiled.

Natalie returned his smile. "Smells delicious and sounds so yummy."

Will wrapped his arms around her softly kissing her. He picked her up, sitting her on the counter as he kissed her. "I love you," she whispered in between kisses before pulling back in shock that it'd slipped out.

"Will... i... oh... sh..." she managed before he kissed her hard to quiet her.

"Natalie Marie Manning, I love you too. I never knew what love was until I met you. You challenge and push me to be a better doctor, but most of all you make me want to be the best man I can be for you," he smiled big kissing her again.

"Oh Will," she whispered as he wiped her eyes.

"I love you Natalie," he smiled kissing her again.

Before she could respond there was a knock at the door. "Ready?" He smiled as she nodded. She slid off the counter as he went and opened the door.

Jay and Lauren each had a baby on the other side. "Hi guys," he smiled opening the door wider.

"Hey brother," Jay smiled as Jayden squealed seeing his uncle.

"Hey buddy, come here," Will laughed taking him from Lauren. Jayla smiled at him but stayed with her daddy. She cooed happily at them.

Natalie couldn't help but smile watching the interaction. Will looked really good holding a baby and it made her smile grow. This night had already been perfect for her. Will turned and smiled at her and she smiled back.

Jay and Lauren shared a smile seeing them happy. Jay couldn't be more proud of how Will had grown up since meeting Natalie. He couldn't wait to see where this night was going.

They put the babies in their bouncy seats as Will fixed their plates. Jay and Lauren couldn't help but share a look at that. Once they all had food, they ate sharing easy conversation. The babies played in their seats watching the adults.

Once they were done, Will and Jay cleaned up while Lauren took the babies to the spare room to nurse.

"So what's going on with you?" Jay asked.

Will laughed; "What do you mean little brother?"

"You're being weird," Jay said.

"Am not," Will laughed.

" Yes you are! You can't quit smiling and you cooked dinner. You never cook!"

Will couldn't help but laugh again.

"That!" Jay said. "You're laughing and carefree!"

"I'm happy bro. I'm just happy."

Jay threw dish bubbles on Will which just made him laugh more.

"You're ridiculous," Jay said rolling his eyes.

"You'll find out soon enough little brother. But I'm acting no different than you."

"What are you talking about?" Jay laughed as they finished dishes.

"You were the same with Lauren, just saying," Will laughed.

Jay rolled his eyes again as he heard Lauren join Natalie in the living room. "Go," Will smiled. "I'll bring dessert."

Jay had suspicions as to what was up with Will, but regardless he knew Nat had something to do with it.

Jay went to the living room and Lauren smiled at him. Nat was in the floor with the babies. They were getting sleepy now that their bellies were full.

Jay sat down by Lauren wrapping his arms around her. "Any ideas?" He whispered, and Lauren shook her head no.

"Maybe they're just really happy," she smiled laying her head on his shoulder.

"Maybe. Will's just acting really odd."

"We'll I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready." Jay nodded as he rubbed her arm watching their twins fall asleep in Natalie's arms. Lauren got up and got their blankets so Nat could lay them down. Once she did, they stayed asleep and Lauren curled back up with Jay.

Natalie sat down in Will's chair watching the babies sleep. It wasn't but a minute and Will brought a cake out giving Nat a big smile, and she nodded back.

Jay was watching them close and something was definitely up. Before he could ask, Will set the cake down and pulled Natalie into his lap. They watched Lauren and Jay lean forward and read it.

Lauren jumped up smiling and gave them hugs as Jay looked at Will. "Really?" He asked with a smile and Will nodded.

"We found out today. It's why we were off."

"Will, that's great!" Jay smiled giving them both hugs. "I knew something was up!" He laughed as they sat back down.

"Yea, yea," Will laughed as he cut through the cake. The inside was all pink. The top had said, "Congrats Auntie Lauren and Uncle Jay." Will and Nat were having a girl.

"When are you due?" Lauren asked.

"March 8th. We found out today it's a girl," Nat smiled absent-mindedly rubbing her belly.

"Oh that's great! New baby before the twins' first birthday. They'll be so happy to have another little one around."

"I know. We're so excited," Nat smiled giving Will a look full of love.

Lauren gave Jay a smile. They couldn't be happier for them.

"There's one other thing," Will smiled. Natalie seemed confused so Lauren knee she know anything about this. Will ran to their bedroom and Natalie shrugged. He came back and knelt down in front of her. Lauren nudged Jay with a big smile. He was shocked but really, really happy for his brother.

Nat started crying as Will gazed at her. "Natalie, I've loved you since I laid eyes on you. Yea, it hasn't been easy, but we've grown up so much, but mostly we've grown together. I love you so much Natalie Marie and I couldn't imagine my life without you or our little girl. Say yes, Nat. Say you wanna do this with me," he smiled.

Natalie nodded yes as she kissed him hard, holding his face and pouring her love for him into it.

Lauren giggled a little snuggling against Jay. She was happy for them and she knew Jay was happy and really proud of Will.

They slowly pulled back and Will wiped her eyes. "Yes, William James Halstead, I will be your wife and your baby's mother."

Will slipped the ring on her finger. "How... How long have you had this?" She whispered gazing at it on her finger.

"A month," he smiled.

"It's so beautiful baby," she smiled kissing him again.

When they broke apart, Jay got up and gave Will a tight hug. "Congrats big brother. I'm so proud of you," Jay whispered to him.

Will held him tighter. "You don't know how much that means," he whispered.

"Yea I do," Jay smiled. Once they broke their hug, Natalie pulled Will down by her. "I don't want to wait," she whispered. "See if they're free Saturday."

Will gazed at her and knew it was true. "Courthouse Saturday?" He asked making Jay laugh.

"Yea buddy. Wouldn't miss it."

Will nodded as Jayla started pitching a fit. Lauren got up and got her. "Were really happy for yall, but it's time these two get in bed."

Natalie got up and gave her a hug as she settled Jayla. Jay got Jayden as Will hugged him again. They offered their congratulations again and promised to have dinner again to get details for Saturday.

Once they left, Will wrapped his arms around Natalie's waist picking her up and softly kissing her. "I love you William James. You've made me the happiest woman ever. Before you I was lonely, bitter and depressed, but then you showed up at Med and turned my life around. You're not the only one that's changed for the better. We bring out the best in each other and I love you so much."

Will kissed her hard carrying her to bed. He shut the door closing them off from the rest of the world as he slowly made love to her all night long.

 


	45. 1 Year of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout-out to my girl justkillingtimewhileiwait for the help with this chapter and story! Without her I'd still be struggling with these filler chapters. Also thanks for sharing your travel views so I can be inspired to include them in my story! Check out her stories if you haven't already! She's an amazing friend and a talented writer! You won't be disappointed.

A little over a week after watching his brother say I do, Jay was thinking about things and still couldn't believe that his and Lauren's one year anniversary was coming up. A lot had happened in that year. They'd gotten married, she'd graduated and moved to Chicago, the twins were born, and Will and Natalie were now married and expecting. He and Lauren were so excited to become uncle and aunt.

He was working on their one year anniversary plans. He wanted to make it special and memorable for her. He sent Will and Kelly text asking if he took her away for the weekend could they keep the babies. Their anniversary was on a Monday so he was thinking about taking her somewhere Saturday and Sunday and come home sometime Monday, depending on if they could keep the kids of course.

Will gave him a positive reply and so did Kelly. He decided to just have them both keep the kids one night each that way it wasn't too much on them. They both agreed with his plan.

Jay planned and shopped all week, hiding things here and there so she wouldn't find them. Friday rolled around and he was excited. He knew she would struggle leaving the twins for more than a night, but he knew they needed this alone time too.

He told her Friday about his plans, and while he'd been right about her being apprehensive about leaving the twins, he convinced her it would be ok.

Will and Nat were keeping the twins Saturday. Friday night Lauren packed anything and everything they might need. Saturday they took them upstairs to Will and Nat's apartment.

"Thanks for doing this," Jay smiled as Lauren settled the twins and all their stuff.

"Of course buddy. Besides might need you to return the favor one day."

Jay laughed; "Yea of course."

They went over the plans, making sure Will and Nat knew that Kelly and Shay would get them Sunday, and Jay made sure Will knew where they were going to be and to call if anything happened.

Once Lauren had assured herself, over and over, that the twins would be fine, Jay led her down to the car. She had no idea where they were going; he'd even packed for her so she wouldn't have a clue. She'd tried getting it out of him, but to no avail.

Jay settled her in the car and they headed off. "Where are we going?" she asked with a laugh.

"You'll find out soon enough love," he smiled kissing her hand.

Lauren let it go. She knew he wasn't going to give it up. She watched the city pass them by and realized they were headed north. She smiled a little figuring he was taking her to the cabin.

In just a couple of hours they pulled up at their cabin and she smiled. "The cabin huh?"

Jay smiled and softly kissed her. "Well it is where we said I do, so why not?"

"It's perfect," she smiled as they got out and headed in. The weather was just right for a fire and laying in the hammock. She was looking forward to a weekend for just them.

Saturday they were lazy and just cuddled. They spent most the day outside enjoying the fall weather. After lunch, he surprised her when a sailboat pulled up to their dock.

"What's this?" she asked as he grabbed a blanket and her hand.

"A romantic sail around the lake for my lady," he smiled leading her to the dock.

"Whose boat?" she asked with a giggle.

"I don't know. I rented it for us," he smiled helping her on to it.

He'd paid for two hour ride around the lake. He figured she'd enjoy it and he just wanted to make her happy.

"Jay…. This is….. wow," she whispered looking around the boat. What was more romantic than a sailboat ride? She thought to herself.

He laid back on a bench propping up slightly so she could lay back against him. He wrapped them blanket around them. "Thank you for this," she whispered.

"Of course love," he smiled down at her. He kissed the top of her head as they took in all the sights around the lake. The leaves were just starting to change and it was a clear day. It was picturesque and perfect.

After the two hours, they got back off at their dock. Lauren wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. "You, Jay Matthew, are amazing," she whispered.

"You are too Lauren Kathleen," he smiled picking her up and carrying her back to the cabin. They'd had lunch on the sailboat, now they were just relaxing before dinner.

A couple of hours later, Jay was grilling steaks for them, and had built them a fire so she'd be comfortable. She was curled up watching him. She still had no idea how she'd ended up with such an amazing man, but she was so glad.

She text Nat to check on the babies and was glad to hear they were doing good. She admired the view all around her, including her man. With twins it was a lot harder to find time for them and if they had the time she was usually too tired. But this weekend, she was gonna make sure he knew just how much she loved him and appreciated him.

After they ate, Lauren praising how wonderful it was, they curled up in a lounge chair by the fire with Lauren in his lap. The night was perfect. The fire was warm and the view of the lake was breath taking.

You could literally see the Milky Way the sky was so clear with a billion stars. You could see a few fires flickering and reflected around the lake, and there was a half moon shining bright and low. She was thankful for the fire and her man when the air temperature dropped fast. It was so fast a mist formed and danced just above the water in the dark. She'd never seen anything so breath taking and beautiful.

She snuggled into Jay for his warmth. "I love you so much," she whispered.

"I love you too Lauren," he smiled wrapping the blanket around her more.

She leaned up and nipped at his ear. "Take me to bed Jay," she whispered.

He didn't have to be told twice. He scooped her up, making sure the fire would burn out, and carried her straight to their bed.

The next day was spent curled in bed together. They'd made love over and over Saturday night and Sunday morning. Lauren just wanted to snuggle him and stay wrapped in his embrace all day. Jay was perfectly ok with that.

Sometime around lunch he got up and made them food while she napped. He took it to her in bed and fed her when she woke. After that, it was a few more rounds of mind blowing sex before he got her out of bed to eat supper.

That night it was more of snuggles and cuddles as she drifted off. The next morning was their anniversary, and Jay had a few surprises for her before they went home.

He got up and made her breakfast, her favorite chocolate chocolate chip pancakes and bacon. He had her a dozen red roses and a card. He put it all on a tray and took it to her.

She rolled over, the sheet sliding down enough he could see her bare body. He tried to keep himself from reacting, knowing her body had to be worn out from yesterday, but him reacting to her was as natural as breathing and he was instantly hard.

Lauren stretched showing more of her body and he bit his lip to hold in his moan. He set the tray on his side of the bed and then sat down by her, rubbing her cheek.

"Good morning beautiful," he smiled as she tolled snuggling into his hip because that was closest to her. He chuckled a little at her sleepiness. "I've got breakfast and gifts," he whispered rubbing her back.

He thought she'd still been two thirds of the way asleep, but he was wrong. Her hand wrapped around his dick and he moaned. "Is this one of them?" she smirked up at him.

"Well… I…. No… it wasn't but… can be," he panted as she slowly stroked him.

"Oh I definitely think it is," she smirked before leaning over and sucking him hard. Jay's fingers tangled in her hair as he moaned. She sucked him hard not letting up any. When he tugged on her hair trying to tell her he was about to cum, she just kept sucking swallowing him down.

Jay screamed her name, the pleasure immense. She'd never sucked him down like that, and he was almost positive he'd died and gone to heaven.

She licked him clean and gazed up at him with that sexy look. "Lauren…. Baby… fuck," he panted. She smiled and leaned up to kiss him soundly.

"Happy one year anniversary," she whispered licking his lips.

Jay kissed her hard laying her on the bed before crawling over her and slowly sliding in her. He just had to have her and Lauren was ready for him. It was slow and sweet with a ton of kisses. When she tensed up and screamed his name, he followed her over into bliss.

After they recovered, and he fed her breakfast, he gave her the actual gifts. Besides the roses, he'd gotten her the twins birthstone for her bracelet and a family charm for the four of them. He also got a one year charm to mark their anniversary.

Lauren's gift was just as special. She'd gotten him a dog tag necklace with their names and anniversary, along with the twins names and birthdate. She also had snuck and gotten his ring engraved with their initials.

It had been a perfect weekend and even though they were going home, it felt like they'd reconnected on another level and we're more in love than before. They were both blissfully happy and ready to see their babies. It'd been the perfect anniversary weekend ever.


	46. A Brother's Surprise Part 2

They'd been home a couple of days, and Lauren was just thinking about how happy she was and how their family was growing. Jay was at work and the twins were asleep. She was curled up on the couch relaxing when she got a text from Kelly asking if she could talk.

She called him; "Hey Kel, what's up?"

"Just seeing if you were busy."

"No. Why? What's going on?"

"Oh nothing. Just wanted to call and talk."

"Right…. now what's up?" she asked again.

"Why do you think something's up?" he asked with a laugh.

"Because I know you Kelly, and you're acting weird."

"Am not," he said like a little kid with a laugh.

"Oh good grief," she said rolling her eyes even though he couldn't see.

This just made him laugh more. "Why don't yall come to dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Well I've got two fussy babies and a ton of house work to do," she said with a sigh. The twins had been fussy and clingy all day. She hadn't got much done around the apartment and she was worn out. She hoped it was just a thing from where they had been gone this past weekend, and they weren't getting sick

"Forget the housework and bring the babies anyways," Kelly said.

Lauren sighed. "I'll text Jay and let you know."

"Ok sis, love you."

"Love you too Kel," she said as they hung up. Something was definitely up with him but she didn't have time to figure it out. She sent Jay a text asking if he wanted to go to Kelly and Shay's for dinner and she got a positive reply. She text Kelly letting him know they'd be there. She got up to do some housework while the babies napped.

Kelly and Shay were off, so after finding out his sister, brother in law, niece and nephew would for sure be coming over, they ran to the store and got food. They came back and in the afternoon cooked together. Shay was happy, happier than she'd been in a while, and she could tell Kelly was happy too.

"What?" he asked her with a smile seeing her just watching him.

"Nothing. Just happy," she smiled.

He walked over and picked her up on the counter. He softly kissed her lips. "I'm happy too Les."

Shay smiled and kissed him again. "I'm gonna go get ready? You good?" she asked looking around the kitchen.

Kelly nodded and sat her down. Shay went to get ready while Kelly finished dinner.

About an hour later Jay and Lauren got to Kelly and Shay's and knocked. The babies weren't as fussy and Lauren was thankful. She was still worn down from the long day, but Kelly had seemed really happy about this so she'd put on a happy façade for him.

Kelly let them in with hugs and smiles.

"Hey guys," he said relieving Lauren of Jayla.

"Hey," they smiled joining Shay in the living room. She took Jayden and she and Kelly got in the floor to play with the twins. Lauren curled up on the couch with Jay just watching. The twins loved both sets of aunt and uncle, and Lauren was so glad. Her babies were really loved.

After talking for a bit, they went to the kitchen to eat. Kelly made Lauren's favorite taco casserole and it was delicious. Once they finished, Lauren went to nurse the twins, and then Shay took over just playing with them. Lauren was glad they let her because she was tired.

"So what's up?" she finally asked once Kelly and Jay joined them in the living room from cleaning up. She was hoping to get a straight answer this time.

Kelly laughed watching Shay with the babies. "Why must something be up for me to want to have dinner with my family?"

"Oh nothing has to be up, I can just tell by the way you're acting," Lauren said giving him a pointed look.

"Kelly give it up, she knows you too well," Shay said from the floor with a sly smile.

"I knew it!" Lauren said. "Now please just tell me," she practically begged.

Before Kelly could say anything, Shay piped up; "Will you be my maid of honor next weekend?"

Lauren sat there staring, turning over Shay's words in her head. It finally clicked and Lauren jumped up squealing, startling the babies. "Yes, yes, yes! Oh my gosh, yes! He finally asked," she squealed hugging them both.

Kelly just laughed as Lauren tugged at Shay's hand, "Let me see," she smiled. Shay showed her the ring and Lauren smiled.

"He asked last night and I said yes," she smiled over at Kelly.

"Oh…. Oh I'm so happy for you two," Lauren smiled hugging them again. She was so glad Kelly had finally asked and Shay was gonna officially be a part of their family. It was perfect.

"Where? How?" Lauren asked and Kelly smiled.

"Navy pier under the stars just like you suggested months ago," he smiled hugging his sister again.

"Oh Kel… Oh this is so great guys. I'm happy for you both," she said hugging them again.

After getting more details on their wedding plans, the babies started fussing.

"Guess we better get them home. Let me know when you wanna dress shop," she told Shay hugging them both again. They offered another round of congratulations before taking the babies home. Lauren was happy. Their family was perfect and happy and before long would include another little one and she couldn't wait.

They got the babies bathed and fed and in bed. Lauren curled up with Jay in their bed; Life was almost perfect, she thought as she drifted to sleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last filler chapter I promise. The next chapter kicks off more drama and leads to an important plot point. After that, I still have ideas rolling. Just last night a brilliant one came to me and I can't wait to get there to write. I hope you enjoyed and will let me know what you thought! :)


	47. Kelly & Shay Say I Do

After learning of Kelly and Shay's engagement and upcoming wedding, the planning started immediately. They had just a week to get it done and ready. Lauren was excited, and Jay loved watching her with all the planning. The babies were growing and doing really well. They cooed more and were more alert, and it was such fun watching them grow, change, and learn new things. To say things at home were good would be an understatement. Things were better than good and he was beyond happy.

However, things at work for Jay had been a little rocky. Erin had been weird acting since that night he got her from the cemetery, but he tried to ignore her. He never spoke unless he had to, and he avoided being anywhere alone with her as much as possible. Of course all this did was aggravate and frustrate Erin to no end. She had no idea why he couldn't see things the way she did, or why he couldn't love her back like the way she loved him. She was reaching her breaking point again, but this time she hid it much better. He'd never know what hit him until it was already over and done.

The wedding was quickly approaching. Lauren, Shay and Gabby had found the perfect dresses. Kelly would be left speechless with Shay's, and Lauren and Gabby would shine beside her in their fall-like bridesmaid dresses. They had picked the perfect location too.

Shay wanted something unique but still elegant. She wanted something that would highlight their life and personalities, but still be elegant and beautiful for a wedding. When Gabby had mentioned a distillery, Shay had first thought she was crazy. But after looking online at pictures and different places, she fell in love with the idea.

She and Kelly had decided on the Chicago Distilling Company. The outside screamed fire hall, but the inside could be decorated to be elegant enough for the wedding she desired. The guys all thought they were the luckiest around to be having a wedding at a distillery. They had praised her choice endlessly.

The day of the wedding was finally there. The wedding was perfect; the sun was shining, the leaves were changing, and it wasn't too cold yet. Shay, Lauren, and Gabby were all getting ready at Lauren and Jay's, while the guys got ready at Kelly and Shay's. Jay had taken the babies up to Will and Nat's while the girls got ready. They had found Jayla a dress to match the bridesmaids, and Jayden had a baby tux to wear. Shay thought they were the cutest most adorable babies around.

Gabby had just finished her make-up and Lauren was finishing her hair. "Nervous?" Lauren asked with a chuckle.

"No. Surprisingly, I'm not. I'm excited and ready."

Lauren smiled. "Me too, sister."

They got Shay in her dress and she was stunning. It was an elegant, simple off the shoulders wedding dress that really showed off Shay's beauty. "Kelly is not going to know what hit him," Lauren smiled.

The girls got in their bridesmaid dresses, and there was a knock at the door. It was Jay and the twins. "You girls ready? It's time," he called.

"We're coming," Lauren smiled grabbing their bouquets off the table on their way out the door. Will and Nat were waiting downstairs. The twins were going to ride with them so the girls could all ride together. Lauren kissed each baby as they put the carriers in Will's car. Once they were all situated, they headed to the distillery.

All of the fire hall, some of Med, and everyone at PD except for Erin would be at the wedding. It was just their close friends and family. Simple and sweet as Shay had said. They pulled up and parked in the designated spot for the bride. Jay gave Lauren a kiss and then got out to get the twins.

"Showtime," Lauren smiled handing Shay her bouquet. Shay returned her smile and gave her a hug. They walked to the door and you could see inside without anyone seeing them yet. The chairs were all in rows, white string lights hung all around with tulle sashes draped from row to row. There was an archway decorated with lights and fall flowers where Kelly was waiting.

Lauren leaned inside and nodded to Chaplain Orlovsky that they were ready to begin. He gave the signal and the music changed. The girls slowly walked in, and Lauren gave Kelly a wink. The music changed again and everyone stood as Shay entered. She slowly made her way towards Kelly, her eyes never leaving his. Lauren smiled watching them. Kelly was totally enamored with Shay.

Lauren hoped the photographer was getting shots of this because watching him watch Shay was magical. It reminded her of how Jay had looked at her on their wedding day. When Shay finally reached him, she saw Kelly wipe a stray tear and she smiled.

She glanced over at Jay with their babies and her smile just grew. There was nothing more handsome or more beautiful than her husband with their babies. She was so in love with him; it surprised her sometimes just how much she loved him and he loved her. He sent her a wink and a smile.

She didn't know his thoughts were almost mirroring hers. There was nothing more beautiful than his girl. He loved her so much, and seeing her so happy, made him happy. Lauren returned his smile and then focused on the wedding.

Kelly and Shay were completely lost in each other. They exchanged their vows, which they had written themselves, and in just a few Kelly was kissing Shay senseless. They were officially married. The guys all hooted and hollered as Kelly slowly pulled back with a smile.

"We're married!" Shay yelled as they ran out. Lauren just had to laugh. She watched as Kelly pulled her off to a side room and she shook her head. They all got busy moving the chairs, and getting set up for the dance floor, while she assumed Kelly showed Shay just how much he loved her and that dress. She just had to laugh again.

"What's so funny?" Jay asked bringing the twins over.

"My brother," she giggled taking Jayden as he reached for her.

"Oh," Jay laughed. "I totally know the feeling though."

"Oh really Detective?" she smirked.

"Oh yes." He leaned in close to her ear. "Because I could totally take you to a side room and show you just how sexy you look in that dress, but also how sexy it'll look on the floor."

When he pulled back, she was blushing just like he knew she would be. "Jay," she whispered with a sparkle in her eye.

"Just saying love," he smiled kissing her cheek.

Once they had the dance floor set up, and the tasting center, Kelly and Shay emerged. They were both still in one piece thankfully Lauren thought with another giggle. The couple was introduced, and the reception began.

They mingled and danced. Alcohol was tasted and food was served. Thankfully they had warm apple cider that Lauren got to enjoy since she still couldn't drink. Toasts were made, and the twins were passed all around and loved on a lot. Lauren was just happy, ridiculously blissfully happy, and that made Jay happy as well.

Kelly and Shay were slow dancing, just the two of them on the dance floor, and Lauren felt like she needed to find her babies. They'd been passed around a lot, and she just wanted to see them. She unlaced her hand from Jay's giving him a smile as she wandered off. Jay watched her knowing she was going looking for the twins.

He kept his eye on her as she wandered all around. Thankfully he hadn't had much to drink and was able to keep up with her. He saw the moment she panicked. The look of fear on her face ran through him like ice water, and he rushed over to her as she held her hand to her chest. "What is it?" he whispered.

"The twins…. The twins…. The twins…." She panted unable to catch her breath. She was having a full blown panic attack. Jay scooped her up and carried her off to the side rooms catching Will's eye on the way. He and Natalie followed; "What's wrong?"

"Find the twins, she's having a panic attack and I don't know why," Jay said sitting down and sitting her in his lap. He got a nod from Will and Natalie, and he focused on Lauren.

He grabbed her face. "Breathe baby. It's ok, just breathe."

She shook her head no as tears poured out of her eyes and she struggled to breathe.

"Lauren, you've got to breathe sweetheart. Breathe," he said taking slow deep breaths to get her to match his. She was hysterical though and wasn't really listening. Jay stood up and sat her in the chair. He did the only thing he knew to do to get her to breathe; he shoved her head between her knees and held her there as he softly told her how everything was going to be ok if she'd just breathe.

Will and Nat were taking forever it seemed, but he finally heard Lauren catch a breath. "That's it baby, just breathe," he said rubbing her back. Once he was sure she was breathing semi-normal, he slowly sat her up.

"The twins…. My babies," she cried hard.

"Lauren what happened baby? You've got to talk to me," he said pulling her back in his lap.

Just then Will, Nat, Kelly and Shay came rushing in. Lauren was sobbing clinging to Jay as if her life depended on it. "What is going on?" Jay asked seeing the looks on their faces. Kelly and Shay should not be wearing those type expressions at their wedding.

Will knelt down by him and laid a hand on his knee. "Will…. What?" Jay asked getting frustrated that no one was answering him.

"Buddy…. The twins…. They're not here," he said.

Mouse had joined them at this point. "What?! What do you mean they're not here?!"

Kelly moved beside him too laying a hand on Lauren's back and softly rubbing. "We can't find them buddy. I don't know what happened," Will said quietly.

If Kelly hadn't been standing there, Lauren would've hit the floor when Jay jumped up. As it was, Kelly managed to catch her as Jay's rage flashed across his face. "What the hell! Where are my babies?!" Jay yelled storming out of the side room they were in. Lauren whimpered and cried clinging to Kelly now as Will's word resonated through the little room.

The party for the most part had been paused and everyone was spreading out looking, doing what they could to find the twins. Jay stormed all through the distillery with no luck. Will followed him the whole way. Voight ordered an immediate search, putting it out across the radios alerting all of CPD that one of their own was missing and it was imperative the twins were found as soon as possible.

After that, everyone left, clearing out of the distillery to do what they could to find the twins. Lauren was inconsolable and Jay was furious. Will and Natalie promised to go back to the apartment with them, as well as Mouse. Kelly and Shay went to help search, needing to find their niece and nephew. Gabby suggested she could go with them, and they take the ambulance in case they needed it. Despite not wanting to admit it, Kelly knew she was right.

Kelly got Lauren in their car and kissed her cheek. "We will find them sis. I promise you. And whoever did this, will not get away with it." Lauren nodded as she just cried. Her babies were gone and there was nothing anyone could do to help her at the moment.

Jay pulled her close holding her tight as Mouse drove them back to the apartment, Will and Nat following. By the time they pulled in, she was sick. Jay barely got the door open as she started throwing up. He held her hair and managed to croon to her that it was going to be ok and that they would get the babies back.

He carried her up to their apartment. "I'm going to get my stuff and I'll be back," Mouse said and Jay nodded. Will and Nat followed them. Will went up to get some medicine for Lauren as Jay carried her into their apartment. He took her to their room and ran her bath.

He stripped her and laid her over in the tub, tears still silently rolling down her cheeks. He cleaned her up, wiping away the makeup that was running everywhere. Once he had her cleaned up, he dried her off and carried her to their bed. She clung to him the whole time.

Baby toys and clothes were everywhere just making her cry more. He towel dried her hair and slipped her into some sweats and one of his shirts. There was a quiet knock at their door. "Come in," Jay called.

"Here, get her to take this. It'll help with the sickness," Will said handing him a pill and a glass of water.

Jay took it and managed to get her to take it. Lauren couldn't stop the tears as Jay carried her back out to the living room. Mouse was back and was setting up his laptops and gear. He had the scanners going; no one was finding anything yet.

Jay curled up on the couch with Lauren. Will and Natalie went and changed and then came back. "Fuck!" Mouse screamed as Will and Nat came back in.

"What is it?" Jay asked holding Lauren tighter when she jumped at Mouse's outburst.

"I hacked into the cameras at the distillery."

"And?" Jay asked rubbing Lauren's back as she whimpered. He could tell the medicine was kicking in and her exhausted body was going to get some rest.

Mouse looked at him nervously. "Don't forget about Lauren," he said quietly nodding to how she was clinging to Jay with her head on his shoulder. When he got a nod from Jay he continued, "Apparently while the party was going on, Erin showed up. The twins were sitting in their carriers sleeping not far from everyone. She just happened to catch a moment when everyone turned to watch Kelly and Shay dancing, and she grabbed them both."

The cry that came from Lauren broke all their hearts. Erin, the craziest person out there, had her babies and there was no telling what she was going to do to them. Jay held her tighter. "It's going to be ok. We'll get them back. We know she has them, and we will get them," he said into her ear.

Will and Natalie looked on with utter heartbreak. How Erin had managed this, why she had done it, they didn't know, but they did know they had to get the twins back and soon, before she did something none of them would be able to fix.


	48. Find the Twins

Jay had never been so mad and worried in his life. He was currently sitting in the living room with his sleeping wife. She'd gotten up not long after Mouse's little announcement and went to the babies room. He'd given her a minute and then went to get her. Once he brought her back to the living room she'd finally given in to the medicine and cried herself to sleep holding the babies blankets.

"Anything?" Jay asked Mouse, and Mouse shook his head no. It'd been six hours since the twins had been taken. Were they being fed? Taken care of? Where were they? Why'd she do this? All these thoughts were running through Jay's head, and it was driving him crazy.

Will laid a hand on his shoulder giving it a squeeze. "Need to sleep little brother."

"Can't," Jay said giving him a duh look. Will stuck his hand out with a pill. "No," Jay said. Will broke it in half

"Take it Jay or when we do find them you'll be useless to everyone." Jay sighed. He knew Will was right so he swallowed it down and carried Lauren to bed lying down with her falling asleep in just minutes.

"Take your own advice," Nat smiled curling up on the couch with him. Mouse was downing coffee at midnight; he wouldn't sleep until he'd done everything possible to find his niece and nephew.

Around three am Lauren woke hurting. She needed to nurse, and then she remembered she couldn't. She slipped out of Jay's arms and went to the babies' room crying. She settled in the rocker to pump as she sobbed.

She just wanted her babies back. Mouse had heard her and went to check on her. "Hey sweetie," he said quietly kneeling by the rocker

Lauren tried wiping her eyes but Mouse gave her knee a squeeze. "It's going to be ok I promise."

"I just want my babies back," she cried.

"I know," he said sadly. He was going to kill Erin when he saw her for putting them through this. They'd suffered enough because of her. She better pray the twins were safe when they found them too.

He heard his computer go off and he ran in there. Jay's phone was finally getting a text.

"What is it?" Lauren asked after putting the bottles up.

"Go wake Jay," Mouse said intently working.

Lauren went in there and woke him. "Mouse said to wake you," she said as he hugged her tight. He carried her back to the living room.

"What's going on?" Jay asked him sitting Lauren on the couch.

"She's texted you," Mouse said nodding at the computer.

"What does it say?"

Mouse did some things on his computer. He glanced at them before saying, "She admits she has the babies. She wants you to come to her alone and be a family because that's how it's supposed to be. "

"Fuck!" Jay screamed picking up his badge off the desk and throwing it against the wall shattering the picture of the unit. Lauren flinched, but she was just scared and worried. Nat and Will startled awake with the commotion. Nat got up wrapping her arms around Lauren leading her out of the living room. Will got up and tried to calm Jay, but he just shrugged out of his hold.

"She's fucking delusional and she has my babies," he said frustration, worry and anger radiating off him in waves.

"She's at home," Mouse said slamming his laptop shut. This whole time her phone had been off and Mouse couldn't trace her having lost her on the CCTV cameras. He jumped up grabbing his stuff to follow Jay out.

"Get everyone on standby," Jay said to Will as he ran out the door. Will went to get the girls and call Kelly and Shay. They headed out with Lauren grabbing bottles, blankets and their carriers Erin thankfully left behind. She just wanted her babies safe.

Mouse text Will telling him for all of them to wait outside and Will said they would. Kelly, Shay, and Gabby rolled up in the ambulance at the same time as Will, Nat and Lauren. Lauren flew into Kelly's arms while they waited.

Once Jay and Mouse parked outside her apartment they raced upstairs. Jay calmly knocked on the door despite hearing his babies screaming. Mouse stayed off to the side so she wouldn't know he was there.

"You came," Erin smiled happily pulling him into the apartment. Mouse rolled his eyes and managed to stop the door from closing all the way once Jay was inside.

"You have my babies," Jay said flatly shrugging out of her hold. "Where are they?" he asked still hearing them crying.

"In their bed. There fine they just don't want to sleep," she said rolling her eyes.

"Have you fed them?" he accused walking towards where he could hear them.

"Of course! What kind of mother do you think I am?!" she yelled hurt.

Jay spun and glared at her. "You're not a mother! They're not your babies!"

This infuriated her because obviously he didn't come here for the reasons she thought. She ran to the babies room picking them up. Both were screaming crying and Jayla was wheezing.

Jay tried not to panic. "Let me have them," he said to her.

"No you don't want to be a family."

Jay could see where Jayden had been sick and he could hear Jayla wheezing. He hoped Mouse had snuck in now and that Shay and Nat were downstairs waiting.

"Erin," he sighed. "Let me see the babies. I'll get them to quit crying."

"They're fine," she said bouncing them which made them cry more. They could hear Jay and wanted him.

"Erin please."

"No Jay you obviously don't want to be a family with me so just go!" she yelled.

Jayla was really wheezing and Jay was scared. He knew she hadn't had her treatment and being under stress would trigger an attack.

He decided to play along to get his babies back. "No Erin you're right. You've been right all along. You've known me better than anyone. This is what I've always wanted. Let me help you get them calm. Then we can talk more," he said reaching for the babies.

Erin turned so he couldn't reach them. "Please Erin. That's what you do, you help each other. Let me help."

Jayla was wheezing more and Jay was trying hard to stay calm. "Please," Jay said again reaching for them. Erin finally caved tired of hearing them cry.

Jay took them both cradling them to him. Jayden started to settle but Jayla couldn't breathe. His only thoughts were getting her some help.

"Where are you going?" she accused when he turned to go out of the room.. Jay didn't answer. He held his babies tight and started to run

Erin was enraged "Stop Jay! Don't leave or I'll shoot. They're my babies and we're going to be a family," she yelled.

She had her gun pointed at him. If she couldn't have him she'd be damned if anyone, especially that bitch Lauren, was going to have him.

She hadn't seen Mouse in the apartment. Just as her finger moved to the trigger, Mouse fired hitting her in the chest. She fell as the babies started screaming crying. Jay waited for impact but it never came.

He looked back and Mouse was standing there watching the blood pool in the floor. Antonio and Hank rushed in; Adam, Kevin, and Al right behind. They'd gotten Mouse's update.

Jay looked at Mouse and then Adam and Kevin. "Don't leave and don't let him leave," Jay said before running down with the babies.

Lauren sobbed with relief seeing them.

"She needs the inhaler," Jay said passing Jayla to Nat and Jayden to Shay. They jumped in the ambulance and started working on them. Kelly put Lauren in the back with them and jumped up front with Gabby as they sped off for Med.

Jay was standing there in shock until Will squeezed his shoulder. He snapped out of it and raced back upstairs for Mouse. He'd be damned if he let Hank pin anything on Mouse.

All he could hear was commotion as he ran up. Hank was over Erin, and Kevin and Adam had pulled Mouse off to the side. Jay ran in and straight to him.

Hank was screaming, but Jay ignored him. He took the gun from Mouse and gave it to Antonio before grabbing Mouse's arm and pulling him out despite Hank's protest.

Jay didn't care what he said; Mouse was coming with him. They got downstairs and Will was waiting in the car. They jumped in and Will took off for Med. Jay was praying the whole way that his twins were ok.

They pulled up at Med and rushed in. Mouse had snapped out of the shock of pulling a trigger again and taking a life on the way over. He had done what needed to be done, and now he had to be strong for his best friend.

As soon as they were through the ER doors, Maggie pointed to where Nat was treating the babies. All three rushed over. Lauren immediately left Kelly's arms and sank into Jay's embrace. She was still crying and upset as he held her tight.

"It's ok baby. It's ok. It's over... it's over," he whispered holding her tight.

He got a nod of understanding from Kelly and he nodded back. Will pushed a chair over and shoved Jay into it before he collapsed with Lauren. Both had been through the ringer and needed a break. Jay held Lauren tight on his lap as Nat worked.

Finally after what seemed like forever, she came over and knelt down in front of them despite her growing belly.

"They're both gonna be ok," she said with a smile. "I'm gonna keep them the rest of this early morning and all day, then we'll reassess and go from there."

Jay nodded; "So they're both ok?"

Natalie nodded as Will helped her stand rubbing her back. "Jayden had a reaction to the formula she gave them which is what made him sick. We've given him fluids and a small dosage of benadryl to help with the reaction. He'll probably sleep for a bit, but we'll need to get him some of your milk soon. His stomach might be upset for a day or so, but he's going to be fine."

"What about Jayla?" Jay asked quietly.

"I gave her an emergency treatment in the ambo and another once we got here with an oral steroid. She seems to be fine but I've left her on oxygen to help her rest. As far as I can tell she either didn't take the formula or didn't have a reaction but we're gonna monitor her for signs of it as well. We'll give them some of Lauren's milk soon."

"Thanks Nat," Jay said rubbing Lauren's back.

"Of course. We're moving yall to the pediatric floor and I'll make sure there's a bed in there for yall. Will and I will be in the break room. If you need anything just have us paged ok?"

"We will thanks," he smiled as they went out.

He turned to Kelly and Shay next. "Yall need to go on to your honeymoon. We'll be fine," he said as Lauren sat up some nodding her agreement.

"No I think we'll just stay here. We can go another time," Kelly said as Shay agreed.

"No guys please," Lauren begged. "Your reception was already ruined, please don't ruin this too," she begged with tear filled eyes.

"Little bit, you didn't ruin anything," Kelly said rubbing her cheek. "We need to be here with you four."

She shook her head as the tears fell. "Please Kelly. Go... take your bride and enjoy getting away. Jay's right we'll be ok," she said sniffing.

Kelly looked at Jay and then pulled Lauren into a tight hug. "Ok sis we'll go, but if something happens or changes you call me and we're right back here ok?"

Lauren nodded and hugged Kelly tight and then hugged Shay. "Yall enjoy," she half smiled with a sniff.

"We will. We love yall," Kelly said kissing the top of her head.

"Love you too," Lauren smiled as they got their stuff to leave.

Not long after Kelly and Shay left, did the orderlies come and move the twins to the pediatric floor. The room was the largest on the floor and had two baby beds and one regular bed. Once the twins were settled and still asleep, Lauren and Jay laid down. She didn't plan on sleeping much, but she was tired. It'd been a long day, but she had her babies back and they were gonna be ok. Erin was gone and nothing was going to hurt them again.

In just a few minutes Jay noticed her asleep and smiled. Mouse had settled on the couch, Jay not letting him too far. They watched the babies sleeping, sitting in silence.

"I owe you one," Jay eventually said quietly.

"No brother you don't. I just did what we always said we would."

"I know and without you... " Jay paused swallowing past the lump in his throat. "Without you, she'd have shot me and the babies," he whispered.

"I know brother. But she didn't and yall are all fine. The twins are gonna be ok," Mouse said.

"Yea, yea they are," Jay said quietly.

"Get some sleep Jay. I'm here and Will isn't far. Yall will be safe."

Jay just nodded as he let himself slowly drift off too. Mouse let out a sigh of relief seeing Jay asleep. He'd done what he needed to do; he'd gotten the twins back safely, but now his future was questionable. He'd killed the 'daughter' of the Sargent in his unit... He'd broken more than one law and the ramifications of that were to be seen. Only time would tell what morning would hold for him so he sat there watching his god babies all night taking in every moment while he could.


	49. Fallout from the Kidnapping

The twins slept through the early morning hours. Jay and Lauren managed to sleep as well. Mouse stayed awake the whole time.

Jayden woke first fussy. He was hungry and eating his fist. Mouse picked him up cooing to him as Lauren woke.

"What's wrong?" she asked rubbing her eyes. Her movements woke Jay.

"He's hungry," Mouse laughed.

"Oh goodness. Come here baby boy," she cooed reaching for him.

Jayden pitched a good fit until she got him latched on. Mouse went out to get lunch letting them have this time. Jayden was halfway done when Jayla woke hungry too. Jay got her and softly kissed her cheek as he took her over to Lauren.

He helped her hold them as Jayla latched on too. "Mommy is so glad you're both ok," she whispered holding in her tears.

Jay softly rubbed her cheek. "Yeah… they're ok. They're gonna be just fine," he cooed kissing Jayla's cheek. She patted his cheek as she nursed; they both were not taking their eyes off Jay and Lauren.

"We're not going anywhere loves I promise," Lauren cooed.

Jayden finished first and Jay took him to burp as Lauren finished feeding Jayla. After she burped Jayla they held them close until Nat came in to check on them.

"Good afternoon guys," she smiled.

"Say good afternoon aunt Nat," Lauren cooed for the twins.

"How are they?" she asked.

"They both just finished nursing," Lauren smiled.

"Oh that's great. We're gonna give Jayla her routine treatment and see how they are. We might can get yall out of here tonight," she smiled.

"Oh that's great," Lauren smiled.

She and Jay switched and Jay laid Jayla against him as Nat got her inhaler treatment. She fussed a little but settled as she heard Jay's heart.

Lauren smiled watching the scene. Her babies loved their daddy, and he was the best damn daddy ever. She kissed his cheek, "I love you so much," she whispered.

Jay smiled; "I love you too baby."

Jayden snuggled on Lauren and fell back asleep. The twins did really well; no more sickness or problems breathing so Nat let them go home. Lauren was so glad to be home and to have her babies with her.

After their bath and they nursed she rocked them in their room. Once they were asleep she tucked them in. She stood over their cribs just watching them. She couldn't imagine her life without them and she was so so glad to have them back.

Jay snuck up behind her wrapping his arms around her. "They're ok," he whispered as reassurance to them both.

"Yea I know. I just wanted to watch them a minute."

Jay softly kissed on her neck. "They love you," he whispered.

"I love them so much," she whispered.

"They know it. Come on let's get to bed baby."

Lauren nodded and they went to bed. "What's happening with Mouse?" she asked him quietly.

"I dunno. He snuck off today after the twins woke. Will saw him leave. I've got to find him in the morning. He's gonna be fine though I promise."

"Jay you've got to take care of him. He saved our babies."

"I will baby I promise. He'll be fine."

Lauren nodded and snuggled into him listening to his heart. It wasn't long and she was asleep. Jay grabbed his phone and text Mouse. He told him to come over as soon as he got the message and he hoped he would. Jay really didn't want to have to go hunting through the city for him, but he would. Because that's what brothers do and he would always look after Mouse.

The next morning when Jay woke he heard a noise in the living room. He eased Lauren to the bed and went to see what it was. Mouse was pacing back and forth in front of the balcony doors muttering to himself.

"Thank God," Jay said hugging him tight. Mouse started to react defensively before remembering it was just Jay. "Sorry," Jay said letting him go.

"It's fine… I just… I…." Mouse stared out over the city. Jay kept quiet giving him time to spit out whatever he was trying to say. "I got your message. I shouldn't be here Jay."

"Why not? What's going on? You snuck off yesterday."

"Yea I needed to see what was going on with my…. Uh…. My case ya know?"

"What case?"

"Jay…. Look I really need to go. I gotta get out of here."

"Why? What the hell is going on Greg?"

Mouse took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Hank's having me charged Jay. There's a warrant out for my arrest. Illegal possession of a firearm and murder," Mouse said quietly.

"Hell no he is not!" Jay yelled which woke Lauren. She slipped on sweats and Jay's hoodie walking out to the living room.

"What is going on?" she asked sleepily.

"Mouse you do not leave this apartment do you hear me?!" Jay asked grabbing Mouse's shoulders making him look at him as he said it.

Mouse slowly nodded. "I mean it. Do not leave." Mouse nodded again.

Jay went to the bedroom and got dressed. Lauren followed him; "What is going on?" she asked him fully awake now.

"Voight is charging Mouse. Do not let him leave and I'll be back," he said.

"Of course of course. He'll be here." She grabbed his arm as he walked by; "Be careful Jay," she said.

He softly kissed her. "I will be I promise. I love you."

"I love you too," she smiled as he left. She went to get breakfast started for Mouse. As she was cooking the twins woke. She heard Mouse go get them and smiled. He was gonna be ok.

She finished breakfast and took him bottles. "Wanna feed them?" she asked with a smile.

"Sure," Mouse said with a slight smile.

"Breakfast is ready when your done. I'll get Jayla for her treatment after she eats," she said as Mouse settled in the rocker to feed them.

"Thanks Lauren. For everything."

"Of course Mouse. You're apart of this family and we're gonna take care of you too," she smiled.

She went out and let him feed the babies. She tidied up the house and then did Jayla's inhaler while Mouse ate. Jayla was doing much better taking it even if Jay wasn't around and Lauren was glad. She let the babies play once Jayla was done while they waited on Jay.

At the district, Jay was having a very heated discussion with Sargent Platt. He knew he couldn't take this upstairs yet so he was hoping he could get somewhere with her.

"Sargent, please. You know this is wrong. Mouse was doing what had to be done to get my twins back to safety."

"I agree detective, but this isn't my case."

Jay let out a frustrated breath. "I'll be back," he said storming out and straight upstairs. Everyone was there but Hank and he was glad.

"Jay." "Halstead." "What are you doing here?" were the greetings he received.

"I need your help. Did yall know Voight is charging Mouse?"

Everyone kept quiet letting him know they did. "And you're just letting him do it?! You know it's wrong! He's grieving, understandably, but he can't charge Mouse. He has no grounds!"

Nobody said anything. "Yall know I'm right!" he yelled smacking the board.

"Yea we do," Ruzek said speaking up.

"Yea Adam's right," Kevin said. Jay looked at Antonio expectantly.

"I agree too," Tony said.

Jay looked at Alvin next and he held his hands up before leaving. Jay expected that so he wasn't worried.

"I'll put it in to headquarters to drop it. We'll all sign off on it," Antonio said.

"Thank you," Jay said. "Call me when you need me." They all nodded as he headed back home.

When he got home, Mouse was asleep on the couch and the twins were asleep in their room. He found Lauren in their room reading. She put her book down as soon as she saw him. "What happened?" she asked quietly.

Jay sat down on the bed by her. "Antonio is gonna submit a report to headquarters for charges to be dropped and Adam and Kev are gonna sign off on it."

"What about Voight?"

"Hopefully headquarters will see through the bull shit and do something about it. I can't and won't work for him any more."

Lauren softly rubbed his back. "I support your decision one hundred percent Jay. We'll do whatever we have to."

Jay nodded and laid down beside her. He watched the twins monitor for a bit. Lauren laid down beside him and softly kissed his cheek.

"They're ok baby. They enjoyed having Uncle Mouse here to play with earlier," she laughed.

Jay smiled. "Good. He needed it." They laid there and watched TV until Jay's phone rang about an hour later. It was Antonio telling him to come to the district if he could. Jay sighed and headed back in.

Everyone was there including Hank this time. Alvin had alerted him to what was going on and he'd come in. Jay was ready for a fight because he wasn't backing down from this.

Hank pointed to his office and Jay followed slamming the door behind him. The guys all watched with bated breath from the bull pen to see what would happen.

"You think you can go over my head and drop charges?! You think you run this damn unit now?!"

"No sir. But I will go over your head when you are out of line and right now you are out line."

"Out of line?! You think I'm out of fucking line?! You don't run this unit and you damn sure don't go over my head if you want to stay in it."

Jay got right in his face, "I don't give a fuck if I stay in this unit because I refuse to work for you anymore! You are out of line; your charges are false and you are reacting out of grief. If you'd think like a damn cop for a second, instead of a grieving father, you'd see where you are wrong!"

Hank actually slapped him. Jay reacted with a punch back. "Don't you lay a fucking hand on me! If you'd done what you were suppose to do and gotten her help again, she would still be here! But no, you let her do what she does because you're 'protecting' her and she went off the rails again. She took my kids, she could've killed them, and we got them back. She drew, almost shot, and Mouse acted in my defense. That's what was submitted to headquarters because it's the fucking truth!"

Hank took a step back and sat down in his chair.

"You're grieving, I get it, but you are not crossing the line on this. They all backed me. Drop the damn charges Hank."

"Get out of my office!"

"Not until I know the charges are dropped!"

"I said get out of my office!" he yelled slamming his hand on the desk. Just then Platt knocked on the door leading in the commander.

"Detective, Sargent," the commander said. Jay nodded his greeting and Hank didn't react.

"I understand there are some discrepancies with the report you filed Sargent?"

Jay kept quiet waiting to see what Hank would do.

"You know what?! I'm done. Here's my badge, here's my gun. I'm taking my retirement and you can fucking have it," he said slamming them on the desk. "Drop the charges against Gerwirtz and get the fuck out so I can clean my office," Hank said shooting them both daggers.

Jay left leaving the commander with him. He went out and stood by Antonio's desk waiting. In just a few the commander came out.

"Enjoy the rest of the week paid leave. Well regroup on Monday at 8am sharp."

"It's only Monday," Adam whispered and they all just shrugged. Before going all the way down the commander turned back. "All charges against Mr. Gerwirtz will be dropped and he will remain the tech guy for this unit."

Jay let out a sigh of relief as the commander left this time. "Four days of pain vacation, hell yes," Adam said giving Kevin a high five. Jay and Antonio just shook their heads.

They were getting their stuff together as Hank cleaned out his office. He'd get Erin's desk next, but he was done. He'd lost his son and daughter and he was over this. He was gonna move closer to Olive so he could have more time with Daniel.

They all headed out and Jay returned home to Lauren, the kids, and Mouse. She had dinner waiting and he smiled.

"Good news," he said joining them. "All charges are dropped, you still have a job, and we have four days of paid time off. So what do ya say we all go to the cabin for a bit to escape from the city?"

"You're serious?" Mouse asked.

"Yeah buddy I am. It's all taken care of and you should come to the cabin with us."

"Well… I…. Jay, man, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you," Mouse said giving him a tight hug.

"No, thank you Mouse for saving our babies," Jay said returning the hug.

They all ate and then packed up to go. A few days at the cabin for a relaxing escape sounded like just what they needed. Lauren couldn't wait to get there. Mouse was gonna stay in the spare room downstairs that was technically Jay's man cave, but they thought he could use the get away too. They left that night headed for the cabin.


	50. Cabin Life

They got to the cabin and settled in for the night. Lauren nursed the twins while Jay made sure Mouse had everything he needed downstairs. He came back up and helped her with Jayla's inhaler before they settled the twins in their cribs for the night.

Once everyone was settled they went to bed. Jay pulled Lauren close softly kissing her forehead. "This is nice," she whispered glad to get away for a bit.

"It sure is. Mouse even said he'd keep the twins one night if we wanted to go out. There's this new restaurant opening in town I thought we could try," he smiled.

"Yea ok sounds fun," she smiled at him softly kissing his lips. She loved her babies, but she loved date night with her husband too.

They were both exhausted from the past few days events and they both fell sound asleep rather quickly. They slept all night. Since she'd been giving the twins some cereal with their milk they'd been sleeping longer and were finally sleeping through the night.

Mouse was up making breakfast the next morning when Jay woke. He tucked Lauren into bed and went to join his friend.

"Morning," Jay smiled pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Morning," Mouse said flipping the bacon he was frying.

"Smells good. You didn't have to cook though," Jay said.

"I know. But I was up and wanted too," Mouse said giving him a grin. "Besides I figured you might be sleeping in," he said with a smirk.

Jay laughed ; "Na. She's out. She needs the rest after these last few stressful days."

Mouse nodded. Jay helped Mouse with the eggs until he heard Lauren. He went to check on her when he heard her in the bathroom.

"You ok?" he asked through the closed door. When he didn't get a response he tried the handle. Luckily she hadn't locked it. "Baby?" he asked kneeling down beside her.

"I'm ok. Just felt queasy," she said. She was kinda pale so he got a cold wash cloth and laid it on the back of her neck.

"Well we're just gonna take it easy today."

"I'm ok Jay I promise," she said settling back against him as he pulled her into his arms. She never got sick she just felt like she could. They both just assumed the stress was finally catching up with her.

Jay tucked her back into bed and went and got the twins. Jayden was fussing and Jayla was just starting to wake. "Good morning daddy's loves," he cooed picking them up and changing them.

Jayden fussed more until he took them to Lauren. He helped her get them fed and she was still kinda pale. Once the babies nursed he took them to their bouncy seats in the living room to play.

He went to the kitchen to fix Lauren some cheese grits. "What are you doing?" Mouse laughed as he dished up their breakfast.

"Lauren doesn't feel good so I'm gonna make her some cheese grits."

"Some what?" Mouse laughed watching him.

Jay laughed, "Chasse grits. Don't worry I had the same reaction when she first asked for them but they're not bad."

Mouse laughed, "Ok I'll take your word for it."

Jay took her the grits once he had them ready and Mouse ate in the living room with the babies. He'd turned Mackey Mouse on for them and they were just watching it totally enthralled. He couldn't help but laugh at them a little. They were priceless.

Jay joined him after making sure Lauren was fed and back and asleep.

"She ok?" Mouse asked.

"Yea. I guess all the stress just caught up with her. She's asleep now."

"Good, good. She needs the rest." Jay nodded his agreement as he ate. Once he was done, they cleaned up the kitchen and then played with the babies. They were trying to get them to roll over but the twins weren't having it. They finally gave up and just played with them.

Lauren had been watching from the doorway and thought it was just adorable. Two grown ex-military men were completely smitten with twin babies. She couldn't help but giggle a little.

Jay heard her and smiled. "What's so funny?" he asked.

"You two are adorable," she giggled.

"Oh really?" he smirked laying Jayla down. Lauren nodded and giggled some more. He was glad she was feeling better. He loved her laugh. He got up and stalked towards her with a twinkle in his eye. Lauren knew that look. She shrieked and took off running begging him not to tickle her as she laughed.

Jay chased her and caught her and they both laughed until they toppled over in the floor.

"Your parents are silly," Mouse cooed at the twins making them both laugh.

Jay had her pinned in the floor and was kissing her. Lauren was holding on tight kissing him back with everything she had. She loved him more than anything and wanted him to know it.

Mouse picked the twins up with a laugh. "Let's go down to the playroom. You'll like it," he cooed taking the babies so Jay and Lauren could have some time.

Lauren wrapped around Jay hearing Mouse go downstairs with the babies. She softly moaned into his kisses. "Jay….. please…." She softly moaned.

He slid his arms under her and scooped her up as she wrapped around him and carried her to the bedroom.

He laid her down peeling his shirt off her as he kissed. Lauren grabbed him and kissed him hard ridding him of his sweats and boxers. She grabbed him stroking him hard making him moan.

"Now," she demanded making him smile. He grabbed her hands pinning them to the bed as he thrust into her. Lauren arched up and moaned out feeling him deep in her.

"Damn baby," he moaned kissing on her neck as he thrust. It didn't take long and they were both coming hard. Lauren snuggled into him panting for breath not letting him go.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too baby," he smiled against her neck. Once they'd caught their breath and come down, they went to shower together. After another mind blowing orgasm, they washed off and dressed.

Mouse had gotten the babies down and had fallen asleep with them. Jay and Lauren smiled seeing the twins asleep on Mouse. "He's so good to them," she whispered hugging Jay.

"I know," he smiled kissing the top of her head. They went up and curled up by their fireplace together softly making out. She could never get enough of him.

After an hour or so they could hear the twins. "Our babies call," she whispered. Jay nodded his forehead resting against hers. He helped her up and they went to get them. Lauren nursed them good and then they played with them.

"Mouse can you keep them tonight?" Jay asked.

"Of course," he smiled. "Just leave me bottles."

"There's a couple in there, but I'll add some more," Lauren smiled kissing the babies heads.

They played with the twins the rest of the afternoon and then Lauren went to get ready. She straightened her hair and put on a touch of makeup. She wore a red fitted dress that she'd just bought last week. She thought he'd like it.

When he walked into the bedroom to get his button up on he was left speechless.

Lauren smiled at him and blushed a little. "I can… uh… well... I can change if I need to," she whispered.

Jay shook his head no still taking her in.

"Jay?" she whispered finally getting him to look at her.

"Don't change. You are stunning," he said wrapping his arms around her.

"Thank you," she smiled her cheeks blushing.

Jay kissed her hard unable to stop himself. He completely took her breath away as her body just melted into him. When they both needed air they finally broke apart. She smiled up at him as they caught their breath. "I do wanna try the new restaurant," she whispered with a wink.

Jay laughed and slowly released her. "Then I guess we better go before I peel this off you and toss you on our bed," he winked.

Lauren blushed deeper as she swatted at him. "Jay Halstead you promised me a date," she smiled.

"You'll get your date I promise," he smiled kissing her again. Lauren softly moaned and it took all of Jay's willpower to break the kiss. He helped her into her jacket before he ripped her dress off.

"Let's go," he smiled reigning in his lust for her. Lauren could see it in his eyes. The dress was working its magic and she knew tonight she would be glad Mouse was below them with concreted block walls between them.

The new restaurant was amazing. The food was delicious and they had a great time out just the two of them. She teased him some making sure to keep his lust burning. As he was paying the waiter she ran her foot up the inside of his leg with a smile. It took all he had not to growl and carry her out of there caveman style.

When they got to his truck he pinned her to the door and kissed her hard. "Damn woman I need you so bad," he whispered biting her lower lip.

Lauren moaned running her fingers thru his hair. It was lightly snowing and freezing cold but she didn't care. "Take me home Jay," she whispered biting his ear.

Jay opened the door and tossed her up in there. He ran around and got in and they headed back to the cabin. He made sure to tease her right back on the way back to the cabin, and she was crazy with need for him too now.

When they got back Jay scooped her up and carried her straight to their room glad Mouse already had the twins downstairs. He closed and locked their door before setting her down. He stoked the fire as they both shed their jackets. Before she got anything else off he grabbed her hands stopping her.

She took her jewelry off and he pinned her to the wall kissing her. "You have teased me all night," he growled into her ear.

Lauren moaned arching her body against him. "I know," she panted.

"Mmmm I think you're gonna have to wait," he whispered pulling back some. Lauren whimpered pulling him closer. She needed him and needed him now. As payback he was gonna draw it out.

"Jay….. please," she moaned.

He smiled and softly kissed her lips before kissing down her neck. He kissed up and down and all over knowing it was her favorite. Lauren moaned and whimpered tugging at his hair.

"Please," she begged. Jay grinned up at her. He slowly peeled her dress off her body softly kissing new skin as he went. She was on fire. "Jay…. Jay…. Jay…." she moaned.

"Do you trust me?" he whispered. He always asked her that before he tried something new. Lauren nodded her head biting her lip as she watched him.

He picked her up and tossed her on the bed. He tied her hands to the bed as well as her feet which was new. She moaned just a little and he smiled. He kissed her hard before slipping a blindfold over her eyes.

"Jay….." she moaned.

"Just trust me," he whispered kissing below her ear.

He kissed up and down her body paying special attention to the areas he knew she loved. She moaned and pleaded with him but he just kept softly kissing. She felt him move away but still couldn't see him. She bit her lip listening.

"Jay?" she whispered.

"Yea love I'm here," he said which made her smile. He crawled back on the bed with her and kissed the insides of her thighs. He sucked her clit between his lips thrusting two fingers deep in her. Lauren arched towards him with a loud moan tossing her head.

He took her right to the edge and pulled back. Lauren moaned and pleaded with him. He smiled as he watched her writhing on the bed.

Once she'd pulled back from the edge, he kissed her lips hard. Lauren moaned and arched towards him. He pushed her hips back down as he kissed her. He slowly peeled her blindfold off wanting to watch her eyes. He thrust into her making her moan loud as she arched up to him pushing him deep. She didn't have the words at how amazing he felt.

They rocked together hard and fast until they both exploded into oblivion. She was floating in the stars as he nuzzled her neck panting her name.

Once they'd both come down he carefully untied her kissing all over her. She quickly flipped them and thrust down on him. Jay moaned as she pinned his hands.

She sat still making him moan. She kept just squeezing her muscles teasing him. "Next time don't make me wait," she growled in his ear as she squeezed him tight.

Jay moaned at the feelings she was creating. She bit his shoulder and neck as she squeezed. Jay arched up needing her to move.

"Every time you move, makes it that much longer," she whispered biting his ear lobe. She knew his ears were his spot and she couldn't resist.

Jay moaned loud at her words and actions. She had no idea how hot it was when she did this to him. She squeezed him over and over until he was throbbing in her. She moaned as she kissed him.

"Baby please," he moaned tossing his head.

"Please what?" she grinned down at him.

"Need…." He panted.

"Need what?" she smiled squeezing him so hard.

"To come," he moaned arching up unable to stop himself. She leaned down and bit his ear lobe again.

"Me too," she whispered thrusting down on him hard and fast. After a few thrusts they screamed each other's names as they came together. He held her tight on top of him as they both came down panting for breath.

"You…. Are…. Amazing," he panted as she nuzzled his neck.

"So are you," she whispered. She nuzzled him as they basked in the afterglow. It wasn't long and he heard her breathing even out letting him know she was asleep.

He watched her for the longest just taking in her beauty. Sometimes he couldn't believe he'd actually gotten her back but he was so glad he had. She was his whole world, she and their twins, and he would be completely lost without them. He eventually drifted off with a smile of his face.

The next morning Jay awoke and she was still on top of him snuggled close. Jay smiled as he softly rubbed her back. He sent Mouse a text asking how the twins were, and Mouse said they were fine and he as giving them bottles. Jay smiled glad Mouse had come with them. He knew he needed to spend some time with Mouse and make sure he really was ok after shooting Erin, so today he would.

After Lauren woke and they had breakfast, she took the twins to hers and Jay's room to play and snuggle while Jay and Mouse had time together. She'd agreed with Jay that he needed to spend time with Mouse and she was totally ok with it. She settled the babies on the bed with her with a smile.

Jay and Mouse went downstairs to the man cave half of the basement to box together. It'd been a really long time since they'd done that, probably since their Ranger days Jay thought.

"So what's up?" Mouse asked him.

"Just wanted to make sure you were good," he said strapping on gloves.

"Yea, yea I'm fine. Why?"

"Well I dunno. Just thought it might have brought up some uncomfortable memories," Jay said with a shrug as Mouse held the bag for him.

"Eh…. Kinda, but being here and playing with the twins has helped."

Jay nodded as he started boxing. They settled into a comfortable silence while Jay attacked the bag. Once he'd finished they switched. Jay held the bag for Mouse and Mouse put on the gloves. "You sure you don't need to talk?" Jay asked him.

Mouse shrugged and started boxing. "Mouse come on man, you know you can talk to me."

Mouse sighed and took a break. "I don't know man. It just, I didn't even see it as her, ya know. It was just a target I had to take out to protect my brother," Mouse said with a shrug.

Jay gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I know man, and I'm so glad you were there too."

Mouse nodded. "I've always got your back Jay, always."

"I know. Same to you Mouse," Jay said with a smile.

"Hey, Jay?"

"Yea?" Jay asked.

"You still have dreams?"

"Not in a while. You dreaming buddy?"

Mouse shrugged.

"Come on Mouse, tell me."

"Yea some since that day."

"Are they bad?"

"Not really. Just…. The normal ones from Kandahar."

"Mouse…."

"I know, I know. I'm not ignoring it or letting it get me down. Like I said, this is helping. But Kandahar man, it still haunts me sometimes."

"I know," Jay whispered. "Do you know since Lauren came back a year and a half ago, I haven't had a dream?"

"That's great buddy. That's really great," Mouse said.

"Yea I know. But you're right about Kandahar. It is haunting. We lost good friends there."

Mouse nodded. "Yea I know. I always wonder if we could've done something different. If we could've gone in and saved them sooner."

"I've wondered the same, but Mouse, had we done anything different, we might not have been the ones to come home. You know the guilt I've felt and carried for so long, but being here with my family and friends, I've learned to accept it and appreciate the fact that I'm getting this life with my beautiful wife and babies. We just have to honor them with our daily lives."

Mouse gave a slight smile. "I'm really glad to hear you saying that Jay. This is what I've wanted for you for the longest. To just be happy."

"I really am Mouse. I really, really am."

"It shows," Mouse smiled as they hugged before heading upstairs. While he still had memories that haunt him, he would be ok. If Jay was ok, he would be ok too.

The rest of the days ****at the cabin were spent relaxing and playing with the babies. They had the first really good snowfall of the season so they bundled the twins up really good and took them out for a short bit to play. Mouse snapped pictures of them all playing in the snow for them. It was such fun. Jay even made them a snowman that Lauren just loved.

Jayden rolled over the day before they went home and just grinned at them totally proud of himself. Lauren and Jay got it on video to share with everybody. Jayla tried her hardest to do what Jayden had done, and with a little help she was able to. Lauren knew it wouldn't be long and they would be rolling all the time. They babbled so much and were getting so big. She loved watching them learn new things.

After they got back home, they settled back in for a normal week. Jay would be going back to work, and she would be staying home with the babies. Her birthday was just three weeks away and so was the twins first Thanksgiving. Lauren couldn't wait. The holidays were going to be so much fun this year with the babies and she couldn't wait.


	51. Lauren's Birthday

Jay was getting ready for Lauren's birthday which was Saturday after Thanksgiving. They were going to the fire hall at lunch on Thanksgiving to celebrate with everyone for a bit and then coming back to celebrate as a family.

Kelly and Shay were gonna keep the twins while Jay and Lauren went and did a little shopping. Then Will and Nat were gonna keep them Saturday night. Sunday they'd come home and celebrate with everyone, but Jay was looking forward to some alone time with her.

Since the kidnapping, they hadn't been away from the twins except for that night at the cabin. While Jay understood completely, he was still looking forward to having Lauren all to himself for a bit.

He was helping her get the twins ready for Thanksgiving lunch at the fire hall. He knew it was gonna be better than last year and he was glad. They got the twins dressed in their matching turkey outfits that Lauren had monogramed with their names and then headed out.

Lunch was very nice. They got to enjoy good food with friends and family. The twins got plenty of love and for the most part it was very uneventful. Once the twins got sleepy, they loaded everything up and headed home. Kelly, Shay, Will, Nat and Mouse came over later that night and they all ate leftovers.

Kelly and Shay took the twins and their bags home with them and Jay and Lauren got ready to go shop. They were going to hit a few stores and get all the twins presents, plus Mouse, Kelly, Shay, Will and Nat's gifts. They hadn't made any plans with Lauren's family yet so they were waiting on those gifts.

After about four hours of shopping, they had all they needed and Lauren was tired. They headed home, and Jay hid the gifts while Lauren pumped. It wasn't long after that and she was out. Jay knew she needed rest. Being with the babies all day every day was wearing her out, so he was looking forward to giving her a relaxing birthday weekend.

They slept until almost noon on Friday. Kelly and Shay brought the babies over for a bit so Lauren could see them. She got them down for their afternoon nap and Kelly and Shay left. Will and Nat came down and got them and bags and bottles for the night. They told them to have fun and they'd see them tomorrow.

After they left Jay took Lauren to shower. He massaged her shoulders and washed her hair. "Mmmm feels so good baby," she moaned.

Jay smiled and softly kissed her neck. "Good just relax love," he whispered.

Lauren's body totally relaxed under his hands. She was soft and pliant and he loved it. He softly kissed on her neck as he rubbed.

"Alright beautiful, let's get you dressed," he smiled helping her out and drying her off.

"Where are we going?" she smiled.

"A surprise," he smiled. He bundled her up in her favorite sweat pant/sweatshirt combo with a scarf and gloves.

"Jay," she laughed. "It's not winter yet."

"No but you might get cold," he winked. He put her bike jacket on next and then got dressed himself.

He took her down and put her on the bike. "See? Had to make sure you were warm enough," he smiled.

Lauren grinned as they put their helmets on. It was probably too cold to be out on the bike, but she didn't care. She wrapped around him when he climbed on. He fired it up and Lauren smiled. Jay and his bike were something else and she loved it.

They took off and headed north. Luckily on the bike at mid-evening, the trip to the cabin wasn't so bad. She was kinda chilled when they got there despite her layers but she didn't care.

Jay carried her in and straight to the hot tub to warm up. It felt heavenly on their chilled skin. Lauren sank into Jay's embrace as they relaxed. "Feels so good," she whispered.

"Yea it does," he smiled holding her close. Once the jets went off he wrapped her in a towel and carried her to their room. He started a fire in the fireplace as she dried off.

She crawled in bed and watched him. Once he had the fire going good he crawled in bed with her. "Come here beautiful," he whispered holding her close.

Lauren smiled at him as she softly kissed his chest. "Tomorrow is your birthday," he whispered as he rubbed her back.

"Yea it is. What are we doing?" she grinned up at him.

"You'll find out soon enough," he smiled kissing the end of her nose.

Lauren giggled and snuggled into him. She loved just being close with him like this. She never wanted this feeling of safety and security to leave her. It wasn't long and she was sound asleep. Jay laid awake watching her and planning for tomorrow. He had her plenty of surprises. He eventually drifted off once he was sure everything was ready.

The next morning Jay woke early and went to make her breakfast. He had roses for her to go with breakfast. Once he had it all ready, he carried into their room.

Lauren rolled over still asleep and the sheet slid down her body. Jay bit his lip holding in his moan. He seriously had the most beautiful, mist sexy girl ever.

He crawled back in bed with her and pulled her close. He softly kissed around her face before moving down her body. He kept the kisses soft as he watched a smile appear on her face in her sleep. He kissed every inch of her body. By the time he reached her ankles she was squirming in her sleep humming just a little. Jay smiled as he kissed her feet. "Wake up my beautiful girl," he whispered starting his way back up her body.

Lauren hummed and stretched as he kept kissing. "Let me see those beautiful eyes," he whispered on between kisses.

Lauren moaned and rubbed her eyes slowly opening them. Jay was still kissing all over her body and she smiled. "Mmmm good morning handsome," she smiled reaching for him.

Jay kept kissing up until he finally reached her lips. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him back hard.

"Good morning beautiful birthday girl," he whispered.

Lauren smiled as she kissed him tugging on his hair. "You were working some magic with those lips detective," she whispered softly biting his bottom lip.

"What kind of magic?" he smirked.

Lauren kissed over to his ear lobe and bit it. "The kind that says I'm fixing to roll you over and fuck you," she whispered.

Jay moaned loud as he squeezed her hips. She tugged at his hair as she bit his ear lobe again. They hadn't been able to get enough of each other lately. She wrapped her legs around him and arched up, but he kept kissing on her neck.

"Jay…." she moaned.

"Patience love," he whispered.

Sure enough as promised, Jay took his sweet time loving on her. He took her over the at least three times before he slid into her. He took her slow and steady kissing all over and the fourth time, they crashed over together.

She laid there holding on tight to him as they slowly started to come down. She nuzzled into his neck as she whimpered a little as little waves rolled through her.

"You are amazing," she whispered.

"So are you baby," he smiled as the snuggled.

After they came down, he took her to shower and couldn't keep his hands off her. So two more orgasms later and they were finally getting out of the shower. Once he had her dressed in one of his t-shirts, he fed her breakfast in bed. She loved her roses and card. It was so sweet and totally Jay.

They snuggled in bed most of the morning until she convinced him to get the Christmas decorations out. It would be the twins first Christmas and she wanted the cabin perfect. The spent the afternoon decorating. They decided they would get a tree later once Jay got his vacation time and they could come up and pick out a live tree. They were just finishing the little things, when there was a knock on the door.

Lauren gave Jay a funny look because their cabin was secluded and no one was really around. It was the second round of surprises he had for her. She ran to the bedroom to dress, not sure who was at the door.

Jay went and opened it; Kelly and Shay, Will, Nat the twins were on the other side waiting. They had all brought her gifts and take out. Kelly and Shay had ordered her favorite from the Italian restaurant in town and Will and Nat had picked up cookie cake and ice cream.

"Lauren," Jay called as he took the babies from his brother.

"Coming," she called hoping sweat pants and his t-shirt would be appropriate for whoever was there.

She walked out and they all yelled surprise. Lauren smiled big seeing their family and her babies. "Oh guys," she said running and hugging them.

"I wanted your birthday to be perfect and I knew it wouldn't be without our babies and family," Jay smiled kissing her as she took the babies from him.

They both cooed at her taking in her kisses and hugs. "Have they eaten?" Lauren asked.

"Not yet. It shouldn't be long though," Nat smiled.

Lauren laid down in the floor with them to play. Jay let Mouse in, happy that he was able to come too. He had become a part of their family and Jay wouldn't leave him out.

The twins played with Lauren for bit, happy to have her back. Jayden got hungry first and started patting Lauren's breast making her giggle. "Are you hungry little man?" she cooed as he smacked his lips and patted her.

"I think so," Jay chuckled helping her get them up. They were getting way too big to carry at the same time, so Jay helped her get them to the bedroom. She settled on the bed as they both started fussing wanting to nurse. Jay helped her get them settled and then went to finish setting up her dinner.

Lauren softly rubbed the twins' heads as they nursed. "You're both getting so big and that makes mommy sad. I want you to stay my babies forever," she whispered.

Jayden patted her as he watched her; they both were hanging on to her every word. "Mommy loves you both so much. And so does daddy. You have the best daddy ever. He's so thoughtful and loving. Mommy couldn't have picked a better man to be your daddy," she whispered not knowing Jay was listening. "He's made mommy's birthday extra special and perfect."

"I'll always try," he whispered with a smile as he sat down on the bed by her.

Lauren looked up at him with a smile. "I know you will. I'll always do my best for you too."

Jay leaned over and kissed her hard. The babies finished nursing and squealed at them making them pull apart with a laugh. "I'm sorry were we not paying you enough attention," Lauren cooed at them. The babies both giggled making Jay and Lauren laugh more.

They got them burped and went out to enjoy dinner with everyone. It was perfect. They ate, they talked, Lauren opened gifts; it was a perfect night. After everyone was in bed and the babies were down, Lauren crawled into Jay's lap in bed. She softly kissed his cheek; "Thank you for making today perfect," she smiled.

"Always birthday girl."

She kissed them hard as they started making out. They ended their day as they started; making love in their bed at their cabin. It was really a perfect twenty-fourth birthday.


	52. A Hard Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly based off the episode with my own twist on things. I do get some inspiration from the show, but always remember this is an AU story. Enjoy :)

Everything had settled back into a routine now that Thanksgiving was behind them. Despite things going well, Mouse was restless. Jay could tell and he was afraid of what was happening with his friend.

They were headed out for a case on Monday after Thanksgiving -trying to prevent a gang war-, and Antonio was sending Mouse out in the van for surveillance, when Mouse stopped Jay. "I've been thinking about going back in."

"In where?" Jay asked confused.

"The Rangers…. They… they need a coms specialist right now."

"You're serious? Are you serious right now?!"

"I've just been thinking man… What am I gonna do? Join the academy? Be a rookie? Come on, Jay. Over there I've got stripes."

"Did you forget what it did to you? Depression, can't sleep at night?! Do you want that?! You want to be calling me at three in the morning because you can't sleep and are popping pills again in a place you don't remember how you got there?! No Mouse, just no. I can't do that again. I've got a family! You've got a niece and nephew that are gonna depend on you!"

"I'll learn to deal with it like you do. Remember you said you handle it just fine now?!"

"Goddammit Mouse! We're in a war here, in Chicago. You want a war, we're in the middle of one!"

"I'm just being honest man. Here there's…. There's too much noise. Who's right and who's wrong. At least over there, I know I'm the good guy and they're the bad."

"Halstead, where are you?" he heard Antonio ask over the radio.

"I'm coming," he said back trying to let his frustration roll off him.

"Before…. Before you make a decision we're gonna talk about this," Jay said storming off to the 300.

Mouse let out a sigh and jumped in the van. He'd already made a decision whether Jay liked it or not.

They closed the case on Thursday, and Friday they wrapped everything up, paperwork included. Jay had been frustrated and worried all week after Mouse's little announcement. They'd gotten into it a couple of times at work.

Antonio had even called Will on the second day of tension to come talk to Jay. He'd walked into the break room mid-argument. "Whoa guys enough!" he'd said catching both Jay and Mouse by surprise.

"Mouse give us a minute?"

"Yea, yea sure," he mumbled brushing past the brothers.

"What the hell Will?! I was getting through to him!"

"Were you really? Or were you just screaming at each other?"

"Doesn't matter. What are you doing here?" Jay asked taking a defensive posture.

"Antonio called me. Asked me to come talk to you because you and Mouse were having issues with him wanting to reenlist."

"Damn right I do! It's not the right move for him?"

"For him or for you? You went back a second time. I don't remember him fighting you on it. Pretty sure he gave his support."

"I was ordered! That's different. I didn't want to, but I had to! And yes he did, after he got over the fact he wasn't going."

"Ok. Well get over the fact you're not going and support your best friend! You don't want him to go, we get that. But fighting with him about it, isn't going to change anything. If it was you voluntarily wanting to go back you'd want his support."

"That's just it, I don't want to go back! I never did!"

"Fine I get that! But he wants to and you've gotta support him Jay, or he's gonna go knowing you're mad at him and that's the worst thing that can happen. Take a break and talk it out, but you gotta come around little brother."

Jay didn't say anything, just nodded. "I gotta get back but you know where I am if you need to talk."

Again Jay nodded. Will gave him a hug and ruffled his hair before heading out.

Now it was Friday afternoon and Antonio was letting them go early. Jay text Lauren to see if she minded if he and Mouse grabbed a beer or two.

Of course she didn't because she knew what was going on and how upset Jay had been. So after getting her text back, he told Mouse let's go. Jay picked up a six pack on his way and pulled up at Mouse's apartment.

He took a deep breath before getting out. This wasn't going to be easy but it had to be done. He used his key and went in.

Mouse had pizza waiting. "Hey," Jay called getting a nod from Mouse in return.

"Got the beer," Jay said holding it up. Again, Mouse just nodded. Jay knew Mouse wasn't looking forward to this anymore than he was, but they had to do it.

He popped the top on two and sat down on the couch, Mouse sitting in the recliner to his left. They were both quiet for the longest before Jay finally spoke up. "Mouse, you can't do this. It's not worth it."

"But it is to me Jay. I can't…. I can't keep staying here, staying in the office every time yall run out for a call. Yea I'm thankful you got it for me, but I can do more and you know it."

"Then take the police exam! If you'd go through the academy, in just a few years you could be working the streets with us and doing the tech part."

"Jay…. I'm… I'm not going through the academy. I just can't… It's not worth it to me and I don't want to do patrol. I want to do something that's gonna make a difference. After…. After all that with…. Lindsay…. I just… I'm tired of sitting behind the desk all the time. It felt like we were a team again, me and you, and I need that back. I need to feel like what I'm doing matters and is important. With the Rangers, I have that. I'm a soldier; I was born to be a soldier damn it, and I'll die one if I have to!"

Jay kept quiet turning over his words. He knew all that with Erin bothered Mouse some, but at the same time he knew Mouse knew he was just doing what had to be done. Just like they would do in the Rangers, he thought.

"It's already done Jay. Platt fixed my record and sent a letter talking about my stability working with CPD, and the Rangers accepted my reapplication. I report tomorrow."

"Goddammit! I told you we were gonna talk about it before you decided!" Jay said getting up and pacing the apartment. "What…. What am I supposed to tell Lauren? What am I supposed to tell the twins?! You can't do this Mouse! It's not worth it!"

"It's is to me Jay. To feel like I'm doing something that matters again, it's worth it to me."

Jay paced back and forth. There's no way he could go back, but sending, well letting, Mouse go by himself was terrifying Jay to death.

"I know you're not happy, but I have to do this Jay… for me…. And I really… I need your support because if anything was to happen to me-"

"Don't. Don't say it!" Jay said with tears in his eyes

"I need to know you're not mad and I want you to make the final choice if it comes to that…" Mouse finished.

Jay shook his head vigorously "What happened to us never going back down that road? Huh? Do you- Do you think I want to go back after that last time around?! Do you not remember what I told you, about how I was glad you weren't going?! I promised to protect you and I have! When we got home, I've done all I could to keep you safe!"

Mouse just sat there, staring at an inexistent spot on the floor.

"You almost died Greg! I almost died, twice!" Jay yells which causes Mouse's head to come up.

"You think I don't know that?! I know what happened Jay, I was there that day, just as much as you were. And I was there when you went without me and came home, barely alive! But the past is just that, the past, and I need to feel important again, like what I do has meaning!"

"I get that I do… but Mouse... I don't want to lose you. If I were to lose you-"

"You're not going to lose me. I'll come home," he says knowing there's a good possibility that wouldn't happen.

"You can't make that promise! And even if you do, I can't…. I just can't lose you, Mouse! You don't…." Jay turned and paced to the window so Mouse wouldn't see his tears.

"I don't what?" Mouse asked quietly.

Jay took a deep breath resting his forehead on the cool window. "You don't know how great it's been actually having my best friend back," he whispered.

"Yea… I do…." Mouse whispered walking up behind him and laying a hand on his shoulder. "Because it's been just as great for me."

Jay turned towards him so Mouse could see the tears. "My twins love you, we all love you… You can't do this Mouse …."

"I have to. My flight leaves in the morning December 3rd at nine."

Jay turned and looked back out the window. He stared out over the Chicago skyline. He knew he couldn't change Mouse's mind and this was really happening. He let out a deep sigh. "Ok… we'll be there," he finally said.

He knew how Mouse felt now when he'd been deployed a year ago. It was the worst feeling ever, but there was no changing it now. He turned and gave Mouse a tight hug. "You better call and Skype and email…. And come home," he said tightly.

"I will brother," Mouse said.

Jay nodded and let him go. "I uh…. I'm gonna get home, let you pack and stuff. We'll pick you up at seven," Jay said.

"Ok, I'll be ready."

Jay nodded and grabbed his keys heading out. He didn't know how he was gonna handle not having Mouse around and knowing where he was, but he knew he had to and had to pray he'd just come home in one piece.

When Jay got home, Lauren was waiting on the couch for him. "Jay?" she whispered jumping up and wrapping her arms around him.

"He's…. He's leaving in the morning. His flight is at nine. I told him we would pick him up."

"Oh…. Baby," she whispered hugging him tight. She took him to their room, and held him to her on the bed. She softly rubbed his head. "It'll be ok, I promise. I'll be here, whatever you need. He'll be ok," she whispered.

Jay just kept quiet holding her tight. He knew she was right, but coming to terms with the fact that Mouse was really leaving to go back was easier said than done. They stayed like that all night, both sleeping holding on to the other.

The next morning, Jay and Lauren loaded the twins in the car and headed to pick up Mouse. She knew this was hard on Jay, and she was gonna be there for him all he would let her. They pulled up and Mouse was waiting in his army fatigues with his bag. It never got easier, she thought.

They got to the airport and got him checked in. They waited with him, mostly in silence. The twins were awake, and Mouse talked to them and played with them some taking in every minute knowing this might be the last time he saw them. Just that thought made him want to say forget it, but he knew he couldn't. He had to do this.

Ten minutes before his plane was to leave, he took the twins in his arms and kissed both of their heads. "You two be good for mommy and daddy and don't get into too much trouble. Keep growing and know I love you both so much. I'll always love you," he whispered fighting tears.

The twins babbled and cooed at him with a smile. He softly kissed their foreheads and turned back around. Lauren was crying and Jay was fighting it. He gave the twins back to Lauren and hugged her. "Take care of him and don't let him do anything stupid," he said.

"I will. You take care and come home Mouse," she said wiping her eyes as Jayden patted her cheek.

Mouse nodded and turned to Jay. "I'll be back. Just believe it, and I'll call all I can."

Jay nodded and hugged him tight. "Stay safe brother. We'll be here when you get back."

Mouse returned the hug as his plane was called. He took a deep breath and grabbed his bag. He gave Jay a salute and turned to go. It was the hardest thing Jay had done in a while. His best friend and brother was leaving to fight a war, a war they'd both given up, and he was staying behind.

Mouse turned and gave one final wave and boarded the plane. The babies picked up on their parents' sadness and started to fuss. Jay took Jayla and Lauren had Jayden. "It's ok babies. Let's go home," Lauren said lacing her hand with Jay's. She knew it wasn't going to be easy, but they could get through this together. Hopefully one day soon, Mouse would come back home.


	53. Holidays

Mouse had been gone for a couple of weeks and it was almost Christmas. Jay took his week of vacation the week before Christmas and they went to the cabin. Their family was coming up on Friday so they had six days as just the four of them.

It had snowed and the lake was frozen. They bought the twins snow suits and on Saturday after getting everything unloaded, they bundled up and went and picked a tree. While the babies napped that afternoon, Lauren and Jay decorated the tree and made Christmas cookies.

It was the most relaxed she'd seen Jay since Mouse left and she was glad.

"You're staring," he whispered sneaking up behind her.

Lauren giggled and relaxed into his embrace. "You just look relaxed and happy. It makes me happy," she smiled.

Jay softly kissed her neck. "You make me happy," he smiled. After a short make out session, they put presents under the tree.

As they were finishing they heard the twins. Jay loved watching Lauren show them all the Christmas decorations and the tree. The babies were just taking it all in hanging on to mommy's every word.

That night he gave her an early present. He'd gotten "Baby's first Christmas" ornaments for the twins to go on the tree. She loved them. He'd put the twins pictures in them and had their names and the year added to them.

"Oh Jay… it's perfect," she smiled kissing him hard under the mistletoe.

They spent the days at the cabin playing with the twins and getting everything ready for Christmas. The twins loved getting to play in the snow, but hated their snow suits. They took a ton of pictures too, Lauren wanting to remember it all.

Friday morning Kelly and Shay drove up. The twins were excited to see them and play with them. That night Will and Nat joined them. They watched Christmas movies together before going to bed.

Kelly made breakfast for everyone on Christmas Eve. They spent the day playing in the snow and with the babies. That afternoon while the twins napped, Jay surprised Lauren with ice skates. He took her to the lake and they skated together.

It was so fun and romantic skating in the snow. They were both carefree and happy. Shay stood on the porch and snapped pictures of them. To warm up they shared a shower with a heavy make out session.

They stumbled to the bed kissing all over the other as their hands roamed all over. Just as they were sharing a deep kiss, they could hear the twins crying. Lauren let out a soft sigh knowing they were hungry.

"I'll be right back," Jay whispered jumping into some jeans. He went and got the twins while Lauren got comfy in bed.

She nursed them as the twins watched her and Jay. She loved her babies but their timing needed work. Jay softly kissed her cheek as she nursed.

"Tonight, I promise," he whispered in her ear.

Lauren bit her lip and nodded at him. Once the twins were fed they took them out to play. Natalie and Shay had brought a bunch of different finger foods for Christmas Eve night. After they ate, they settled in the living room around the tree for their one present each.

Lauren held Jayla and Jay had Jayden as they opened the twins first present. Jayla got Minnie Mouse and Jayden got Mickey. The twins squealed and played with them loving it. The adults all opened their presents. Jay swore Lauren still got the most excited over Christmas and presents.

That night they curled up in front of the fireplace in their room. Jay had made them a spot with quilts in front of the fire. They slowly and lazily made love to each other basking in the warmth of the fire and the beauty of their partner.

The next morning Lauren was up early as usual on Christmas. Jay had put her to bed last night after she'd fallen asleep and put out the rest of the gifts for this morning.

While she got the twins up Jay set up the camera so they could have plenty of pictures of the twins' first Christmas. Lauren had them dressed in Christmas pajamas and had woken them both up.

She was cooing to them and talking to them as she brought them downstairs. She'd woken the others too. Jay snapped pictures like crazy as she showed them all the presents.

The babies just looked at everything still waking up. Jay chuckled a little, clearly the twins were still half asleep. "Go join her," Shay said shooing Jay away from the camera.

He smiled and went to join Lauren. He took Jayla and they sat down and started opening presents with the twins. They opened all the ones from Santa, from them and from their aunts and uncles. The twins got into it once they fully woke. Jayden loved seeing the new toys and trying to get them, while Jayla loved playing with the paper and boxes. It was definitely adorable and Shay got several good pictures of them.

Once the twins had all their presents opened, the adults opened all of theirs. They all got plenty of good gifts and things that had been on their lists. Overall it was a perfect Christmas morning.

While Lauren nursed, the guys made breakfast. They let the babies play in their seats while they ate. After breakfast they settled in the living room and played with the babies. Mouse called right after lunch.

It was great to hear from him especially since it was Christmas. He told them he missed them like crazy and couldn't wait to be home. The twins babbled to him and they showed him some of the pictures from their morning. He missed home and them, but he was doing what he had to.

That night they went to bed early after their early wake up. The next morning they would be headed home and back to work. Jay wanted to bring her back for new years and Lauren thought it would be perfect.

After a week of work, Jay got off on Friday and they headed for the cabin. They spent New Years eve playing with the babies. Lauren cooked them a big dinner and then they settled on the couch to watch TV.

Like last year they watched the rocking new years eve party, and despite Lauren telling Jay it was ok for him to drink, he still wouldn't drink around her. She thought it the sweetest.

At midnight they shared a passionate kiss full of promise for the new year to come. As long as they were together, everything would be great.


	54. The Phone Call

After Christmas and New Year's, they had settled back into a routine. Jay would go to work and Lauren would stay with the babies. Some days they visited with their aunts and uncles, but for the most part they just stayed at home. Mouse called as much as he could, but mainly Jay just got emails from him.

It was the week after New Year's, and Lauren had been helping plan Natalie's baby shower. Their little girl would be there in just a couple of months and Lauren was probably just as excited as Natalie. She couldn't wait for the twins to have a little cousin to play with.

She was curled up on the couch while the twins napped when Jay called. "Hey babe," she answered with a smile.

"Check my email," he said.

"Uh… Ok. What's wrong Jay?" she asked going to his laptop.

"Nothing…. I mean nothing is wrong, it's just a weird feeling."

"Ok… ok…." She said pulling up his email.

"There's one. All it says is that he misses us and we'll call tonight."

Jay sighed. "That's better than nothing then."

"I know…. I'm sure he's ok Jay. If he wasn't, he'd let you know."

"Yea…. Yea I know you're right. I just worry ya know?"

"Yea baby I know. The twins and I will be here when you get home."

"I can't wait. Give them hugs and kisses and I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," she said as they hung up.

She knew Jay was really worried about Mouse, but the last few calls she'd listened in on, he'd seemed ok. Maybe not as great as if he was at home with them, but he was ok. She hoped he would get to come home soon, if nothing else so Jay wouldn't have so much stress. She let out a soft sigh as she curled back up on the couch. Maybe he would be home soon.

She got the babies up from their nap and was in the living room with them, when Jay came in. He looked cold and had snow on his jacket. She was glad that she'd made homemade taco soup for supper. It would warm him up. "Say hey daddy," she cooed waving the twins arms from the floor.

They squealed seeing him and they kicked their little legs rolling over. Lauren knew before long they would be crawling. It made her glad and sad at the same time. Her babies were growing up.

"Hey little ones," Jay cooed kicking his shoes off and taking his jacket off. They both squealed again and Lauren giggled.

"I think they're tired of me," she laughed.

"No, they love mommy, don't you?" he cooed at them as he kissed her cheek.

The babies both laughed and smiled.

"Well mommy loves them and daddy," she smiled kissing his lips.

"And I love you," he smiled.

"Come on love, I got taco soup. It should warm you up. The news said we were probably gonna get a bad snow storm."

"Mmmmm taco soup sounds yummy. Work will be hell with snow."

"I know," she sighed picking up the twins to put in their bouncy seats. Jay played with the twins while she dished up their supper, and then they ate.

"This was really good babe," he smiled kissing her cheek as he took things to the kitchen for her.

"Thanks," she smiled. Just as she started dishes, they heard the laptop ringing.

Jay ran in there to answer it. Lauren gave them a few minutes while she cleaned up.

"Lauren?" Jay called after a few like normal.

"Yea baby. We're coming," she said picking up the twins.

They joined him around the laptop. Jay took Jayla and she held Jayden where Mouse could see them too. Jayla squealed and babbled at him. She loved talking to Uncle Mouse. Mouse talked to the babies for a bit until they got fussy.

"That's my cue. Time to get these two in the bath and to bed. It was good hearing from you Mouse. We miss you," Lauren said taking both the babies.

"I miss yall too. Give the babies hugs and kisses from me," he said as Lauren did as he asked. She took the babies to the bathroom and gave them a bath before nursing them and getting them down. Jay usually joined her by now, so she figured they must be having a serious conversation. She did Jayla's inhaler and then went to get ready for bed herself.

She saw he'd put the headphones on while she was getting the babies down. He only did that when Mouse was telling him something important. She let out a soft sigh hoping Jay would be ok. They just needed Mouse to come home.

About ten minutes after getting in bed, Jay joined her. "You ok?" she asked him quietly as he pulled her close to him.

"Yea…. Yea I will be," he said kissing the top of her head.

"You sure? Mouse ok?"

"Yea… They've just got a lot going on right now, and he just needed to talk."

Lauren softly kissed Jay's chest. "Well if you need to talk, you know I'll listen."

"Yea I know. I promise, I'm ok."

Lauren nodded. They watched a little TV until she drifted off in his arms. Jay stayed awake a little longer watching the news. He was worried about his friend and just needed him to come home. He did not like Mouse being over there with guys that Jay didn't know. He needed to know Mouse would be safe and protected, but he didn't and that worried him.

He eventually drifted off into a fitful sleep. His dreams were filled with memories of Kandahar. He tossed and turned eventually moving Lauren off him. In his sleep he hit her. Lauren woke instantly feeling his hand connect with her side. "Uhhhh…" she moaned. About that time he shoved his arm out which pushed her off the bed.

The next thing she knew he was over her with this crazy look in his eyes. He'd been dreaming and she knew it as soon as she saw the look in his eyes. She started to reach up and cradle his cheek. "Jay…" she whimpered. His hand come up and just before he dropped it to hit her, her voice whimpering his name snapped him out of it.

Lauren watched the realization spread across his face. "Jay…. Jay…. Jay…." she whispered trying to reach for him. He flinched and jumped off her. Lauren sat up watching his movements. "Jay…. Jay stop," she called as he threw clothes in a bag. "Jay…. please stop. What are you doing?" she cried jumping up and grabbing his arm.

He shrugged her hand off. "Jay… don't do this," she cried. "Where are you going?"

He didn't answer her. He threw on a jacket and grabbed his bag. Lauren begged and pleaded and cried with him to stop, but he wasn't listening to her. She sank in the floor crying hard as she heard their door open and close and he was gone.

She didn't know what to do. She didn't know where he was going. She hoped he would be back soon because she needed him. She eventually cried herself to sleep in the floor.

The babies woke about three hours later. They cried and fussed until she woke hearing them. Her eyes were swollen and she was sore from sleeping in the floor. She picked herself up looking around to see if he'd come back. When she realized he hadn't, a few more tears slipped out. She tried to pull it together as she went to get the twins.

Jay woke up at the cabin looking around. It was totally quiet and he was confused for a minute. Then he remembered why he was there and he cried a little. He'd hurt his precious girl. The one thing he swore he'd never do, he'd done. The sight of her under him when he came too absolutely broke his heart.

He had to keep her safe from himself and as long as Kandahar was on his mind he knew he had to stay away. He slowly got up and moved about. The snow storm had been rough and he was lucky to have made it to the cabin. He knew by now she'd be getting up and getting the twins up.

He thought about calling but he knew if he talked to her, he'd wanna go home. He had to keep her and the twins safe.

That day Lauren called every few hours and would leave him voice mails. The twins picked up on her mood and we're fussy and clingy all day. At bedtime they kept looking around and crying. She knew they were looking for Jay.

Once she finally got them down, she went to their room and cried. She called him over and over trying to get him to answer. She needed to know he was ok; she wanted him to come home.

After several hours of calling and him not answering, she finally cried herself to sleep. She only got maybe a couple of hours before the twins were up.

Each day Jay would get up and debate on whether to call her or not. Each night he'd wake from dreams of different parts of his first few years in the Rangers. He missed his wife something terrible, but he was so afraid of hurting her or their babies. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't take the chances of hurting her again. He wasn't eating and each day, after boxing several rounds in the basement, he'd work on trying to find peace like he had last time. He needed that peace before he could go home.

It went on like this all week. The days drug on and he'd never answer. At night the twins would cry and cry until they finally fell asleep. Lauren would call and call until she finally cried herself to sleep. Each night, at most, she'd get two hours of sleep.

She didn't tell Kelly and Shay or Will and Nat. This was her problem and she knew Jay wouldn't want them knowing. She didn't know how to get him to come home though. She missed him terribly, and she was slowly wearing her body out. She hadn't been eating good and the few hours of sleep she got weren't enough.

On Friday, the twins were especially fussy, and she'd been in the bathroom sick all morning. She needed help and she knew it. She was pale and tired and sick. She got the twins in their carrier with their bags. She leaned against the wall in the elevator going to the closest place she knew to get help before she was sick again.

Both the twins were crying and so was Lauren when she knocked on Will and Nat's door. To say Will was surprised would be an understatement. He knew something bad had happened to his brother just by looking at her.

She couldn't talk for her tears so he opened the door wider and let her in. She set the twins in the floor as Will and Nat shared a concerned look.

She turned around to tell them all that had been going on, but it was like slow motion. Her eyes rolled back in her head and her knees gave out. "Lauren," National screamed as Will rushed over and caught her before she hit the floor.

"Call Kelly and have him met us at Med," he said as he scooped Lauren up. He knew they couldn't call Jay because if he was ok then Lauren wouldn't be this upset. He grabbed Jayden's carrier and Nat grabbed Jayla's before Will could protest.

They got to the car and Natalie settled the twins while Will laid Lauren in the front seat. She called Kelly on their way; he didn't know what was going on, but said they'd meet them at Med.

Sure enough, Kelly and Shay pulled in at them same time. They took the twins and Natalie followed Will into the hospital. He laid Lauren on the bed in an empty ER room and started her on oxygen and an IV. He ordered blood work as well.

"Stay with her. Something has happened and I'm going to find Jay."

"He's probably just at work," Nat tried reasoning.

"If he was at work, she wouldn't look so worn down," Will pointed out. "And she would've just told us something happened at work. For some reason he's not around."

Natalie had to agree Will was probably right. "Be careful," she said kissing his lips.

"I will. Let me know if she wakes and what the blood work says."

Natalie nodded and Will left. She settled in the chair by Lauren's bed with her head resting on her pregnant stomach. "Well little one, it looks like we're gonna be here until Auntie Lauren wakes," she whispered.

She felt a kick and smiled. She hoped whatever was going on in her sister in laws life wasn't too bad and that she would wake up soon. Natalie started reading as she waited.


	55. Realizations

Lauren slowly woke to the sound of an oxygen machine and a steady heartbeat. She could feel an IV line in her arm. She groaned a little which alerted Nat to the fact she was awake.

"Hey sweetie, you're ok. Just take it easy," she smiled rubbing Lauren's arm.

"Nat?"

"Yea, I'm here," Natalie smiled.

"The twins?" she asked clearing her throat which was so dry.

"They're ok. Kelly and Shay have them," she said getting Lauren some water.

Lauren took some small sips. "What happened?"

"Tell me what you last remember," Nat said instead.

"I came up and knocked…. I was a…. A hot mess," Lauren said her eyes focusing on the ceiling in embarrassment. "When I came in, I sat the twins' carriers in the floor. I turned back to talk to yall and that's it…." She said finally meeting Natalie's gaze.

"Yep. Your memory is clear. You passed out and Will just barely caught you before you hit the floor."

Lauren nodded and looked away again. "Where… where is Will?" she asked noticing he wasn't in there with them.

"He'll be back. Just had to run somewhere," Nat smiled.

Lauren just nodded.

"So… wanna tell me what happened? Why you were so upset before you passed out?" Nat asked gently.

Lauren stared off at the wall. "I…. I was so exhausted," she whispered as a tear leaked out.

"Yea I know…. That's why you passed out. Have you been sleeping? Eating ok?"

Lauren shook her head no as a few more tears fell.

"Why not honey? What's going on?" Natalie asked. She and Will had kinda pieced together while waiting on test results that something had happened and Jay wasn't around, but she needed to know the whole story so she could relay it to Will.

"Jay…. Left," she whispered as more tears fell. "Mouse…. Mouse called at the beginning of the week. Jay wouldn't tell me what was said but that night…. He had a dream, a ptsd attack I guess. He hit me in his sleep, and he snapped out of it when I fell to the floor with him over me. He…. He…." She took a deep breath. "He jumped up and started throwing clothes in a bag. I begged him not to go but he wouldn't listen. He's been gone all week."

"Why didn't you come to us sooner honey? Or Kelly and Shay?"

"I thought he'd come back. I call every day and he won't answer. I leave voice-mails and text and he doesn't respond," she cried softly. "The twins miss him. They cry every night looking for him but he's not there. By… by the time I get them to sleep, I can't sleep. I call and call until I end up getting maybe an hour or two of sleep."

Natalie rubbed her arm softly. "It'll be ok. He'll come back," she said gently.

Lauren wasn't sure. It'd been a week and he still wasn't home. "The twins? They're ok?"

"Yea sweetie they are. Kelly and Shay have them."

Lauren nodded. She finally met Natalie's gaze again. "So why did I pass out?"

"Your body's exhausted. Without enough sleep or food it starts shutting down and finding ways to get what it needs. There's also one other thing," Nat said gently.

"What's that?" Lauren asked a hint of fear in her voice.

"We did blood work when you came in. You're…. You're pregnant sis."

Lauren just stared at her; her face draining of the little color she'd regained since waking. "But….. but…. But… we've been so careful… we… we…. Oh god…. Nat I…."

"Lauren calm down honey. It's ok. Let's do an ultrasound to see how far along you are ok?"

"I can't…. Nat… Oh god… I can't have three alone…. I can't…. I…"

Natalie cradled her face. "It's going to be ok. Will has gone to get Jay. You're not alone."

"But… how does he know where he is… he won't even answer me," she cried.

"Will thinks he's at the cabin. It's where he went after he got back from war so Will thinks he went there again. It's always been his escape."

Lauren just nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. She hoped Will and Natalie were right because she really needed Jay.

"Let's do that ultrasound ok?"

Lauren just barely nodded as she stared at the ceiling with tears rolling. She couldn't really be pregnant. They'd been careful; the twins weren't even one. She couldn't do this…. She just couldn't.

Nat turned the machine on and a steady heart beat filled the room. More tears leaked out as she looked at the screen. "It…. It already looks like a baby," she whispered as Nat did measurements.

"Looks like you're about three and half months almost four," she said.

Lauren let that sink in. "That… that means it was our anniversary," she whispered.

Natalie smiled, "I'm gonna print these ok?"

Lauren nodded lost in thought again. Once she had the pictures, she wiped the gel from Lauren's stomach.

"Nat?... does…. Does Will know?"

Natalie shook her head no. "He left before your blood work was back."

"You can't tell him or Jay. Promise me Nat," Lauren begged.

"Lauren…."

"Nat please…. Jay has too much going on…. Please promise me."

"Ok…. Ok I won't say anything. But he deserves to know."

"I know…. I'll tell him… I will. But just not yet."

Natalie nodded.

"Can…. Can I see the twins?"

"Of course. I'll go get them," she smiled leaving Lauren to rest and turn over the news. Another baby, she thought closing her eyes to rest.

Will pulled up at the cabin and was relieved to see Jay's car there. He'd gotten lucky with that guess, and while he didn't know why his brother had left his family and was hiding out here, he was determined to find out and drag Jay back to the city with him regardless of what Jay said.

He parked and text Nat that he'd made it. He got a text back telling him that Lauren was awake and revealed that Jay had had a ptsd attack which sent him running.

Will let out a sigh. That meant he'd either hurt Lauren or come close to it for Jay to run. He text Nat back his thanks and got out.

He walked up to the door and knocked. He waited and there was no response. He knocked again. When there wasn't a response, he walked around to the back. Jay was sitting in a chair staring out over the frozen lake.

He'd lost a little weight, his eyes were red, he hadn't shaved, and he just looked tired.

"Are you drinking again?" Will asked without saying hello. He remembered the phone calls he'd get from Jay while he stayed here, and even though he hadn't been there for him then, he was now.

"Fuck off," Jay said not even looking at him.

"Did you lose your phone?"

"What do you want Will?" Jay growled not welcoming the company.

"I want to know why your wife shows up at my place, crying before she passes out and we have to rush her to Med."

Jay's eyes flash to his and he sees the truth written all over Will's face. "Lauren's at Med?"

"Yea she is Jay."

"Why? What happened? The twins?"

"So you do care?" Will said intentionally pushing his buttons.

Jay jumped up and shoved Will hard. "Damn it you know I do!" he yelled. "What happened to Lauren?!"

Will shoved back, "You tell me Jay!"

"Damn it you're the fucking doctor! What the hell happened to my wife?!"

Will shoved him down in the chair before he passed out too. "She's exhausted Jay. She showed up crying and before she could tell us anything she passed out. We took her to Med and ran test. Besides her oxygen being a little low, everything seemed fine. Her blood work wasn't back when I left, but Nat text and said she was awake. I'd say she was just worn down and it was her body's way of telling her she needed rest."

Jay didn't say anything. He just stared out at the frozen lake again.

"Now, I want you to tell me why she's exhausted."

"How would I know?" Jay said quietly after several minutes.

"That's a damn good question," Will said. "Which leads to my next question; why the fuck are you here and they are still in the city?"

Jay wouldn't answer him. "Damn it Jay! Answer the fucking question," Will said losing his patience.

"Because it's safer," Jay finally said still not meeting Will's eyes.

"Safer? For who? Them or you? Because I'd say ending up in the hospital is not safer."

Jay wouldn't answer him. "Damn it Jay! You've got to talk to me here!"

"I don't want to talk."

"Clearly. But enough is enough! You've got to talk to someone and you've got to get back to your family. Come on Jay, I'm your brother. Talk to me, tell me what happened," Will pleaded.

Jay was quiet for so long Will didn't think he was going to say anything. "I hurt her," he finally whispered.

"Jay…"

"I did damn it! Tell Nat to look. There will be a bruise on her side and I put it there." He turned his angered eyes on Will although the anger was directed at himself. "Don't…. for fucks sake don't give me that pity look," he growled turning away from Will once more.

"Fine. No pity," Will said laying his hand on Jay's shoulder. "But you've got to tell me what really happened and we need to get you home. She needs you brother, and obviously you need her," Will said taking in his ragged appearance once more.

Jay let out a shaky breath. If only Will knew how right he was. Jay had been miserable this week. He hadn't been able to eat or sleep, and every time she called, it went straight to his heart. He couldn't turn his phone off though. He felt he deserved the pain of listening to every call for what he'd done. He deserved all of this.

"Jay…. come on buddy. Talk to me. Let me be here for you," Will pleaded kneeling in front of his brother despite the snow.

Jay started crying and hard. Will reached up and wrapped him in a tight hug. "It's ok baby brother, it's ok. I'm here. I'm here," he whispered over and over holding Jay to him.

He let Jay cry it out until he started to calm. Will gently rubbed his head. "Come on buddy let's get inside before we freeze to death and you can talk to me," Will said. He held Jay up and they went in settling on the couch

"I hurt her Will," he whispered laying his head over on Will's shoulder. Will kept quiet. He wanted Jay to tell him what happened.

"Mouse… he called Monday night. Said…. Said things were really picking up, and he didn't know when the next time he would be able to call. I guess…. I guess the worry just triggered the dream. I…. I dreamed about the first tour…. It was so real," he whispered before taking a minute to catch his breath.

Will just sat there patiently waiting him out as he rubbed his head.

"I…. I guess I threw a punch in my sleep. I didn't register it, but then I heard a noise, and I reacted. She….. She fell out of bed and I pounced. I didn't land on her, just over her. My hand was raised and the look of terror on her face….. I….. I realized who it was and what I was doing and I panicked….. I jumped up and backed away. She was crying… she was scared… I had to get out of there to protect her. I threw clothes in my bag and left."

"Why haven't you answered when she's called? I know she hasn't just left you alone this week."

Jay let out a half chuckle half snort. "She calls every day…. Multiple times… leaves a voice-mail every time too. Even texts," Jay said quietly.

"Have you ignored them?"

"No," Jay said quietly. "I listen and read every single one."

"So why not respond buddy? It's been a week."

"Because she's safer like this… where I can't hurt her."

"Jay… you didn't hurt her brother. You stopped yourself. Leaving has hurt her more than anything. She needs you Jay. You've got to come home."

"How…. How bad was she?" he asked quietly afraid of Will's answer.

"In need of a lot of sleep and food. About like you. You need to come home. Let one of us keep the twins and yall rest."

Jay kept quiet.

"Jay I'm serious. She never even mentioned the bruise. I mean she didn't say much of anything before I left, but she misses you and needs you. Come home with me."

Just then Will got a text from Nat. "If you can get him to call that would be great. Kelly and Shay took the babies home and she's missing him again. Not wanting to eat or sleep again."

Will showed Jay the text. "Read it," Will said.

Jay did and nodded as Will's finger hovered over the call button.

He hit send and Natalie immediately answered. "Hey," she said.

"Hey. Give her the phone. He's gonna talk to her," Will said. He waited for Nat's agreement and heard her pass Lauren the phone. He handed his to Jay.

"Jay? Are you there?" Lauren asked tearfully.

"I'm here," he whispered. He hated when she cried. It always got to him.

"Please come home…. Please. If not for me at least for our babies…. Please Jay," she begged tearfully.

He wiped his own tears. "I…"

"Please Jay I'm begging," she cried. "The babies miss you terribly, and I do too. Please come home," she sobbed.

"Ok baby…. I'm coming," he whispered. His heart was broken even more at hearing her cries. "I'm coming," he said again. He couldn't stand the thought of her alone in the hospital upset and crying. His instincts were telling him to run to her although his brain said be careful. He let his heart win though because this was his girl and he loved her.

All he could hear were her sobs on the other end and it made him cry a little more. In just a minute he heard Natalie's voice. "Jay?"

"Yea I'm here," he said quietly.

"I gave her something to rest. She really needs it, and she really needs you to come home. So do the babies."

"I know…. I…. I'm coming Nat. Make sure she knows. I'll be there," he said.

"I will Jay. Be careful," she said before hanging up.

Jay handed Will his phone back.

"Let's go, you're riding with me. We'll get your car later," Will said helping him up.

Jay just nodded. He really was exhausted and he missed his family just as much as they'd missed him. It was time to go home.

Will settled him in the passenger seat, hoping he'd sleep most of the way, as they headed back to the city. Thankfully, five minutes away from the cabin, Jay was out and Will let out a sigh of relief. While he totally understood why Jay had run, it had hurt them both more than just staying. Hopefully Jay would see that and this wouldn't happen again.

Jay managed to sleep the whole two hours. Will woke him when they pulled in at Med. Thankfully Jay looked slightly better. His eyes weren't as red, and he didn't look like he would fall over at any given second. They headed up to Lauren's room. She was still sleeping.

When Jay walked in, Natalie gave him a hug, and then went out with Will leaving Jay with her. He sat down by her bed and gently picked up her hand so as not to wake her. She'd lost weight, but she was still beautiful to him. There was no one more beautiful than his Lauren.

He watched her sleeping, her chest rising and falling, as the heart monitor beeped out a steady rhythm. He just watched. He hated to think what would've happened if she hadn't gone up to Will and Nat's. No one would've known and he could've lost her for good. That thought alone was enough to make him stay.

He couldn't lose her. No matter what was going on with him, a life without Lauren was unfathomable. He softly kissed her hand. He'd never leave her again because seeing her laying there pale and lifeless was enough to make him realize just how much they needed each other.

Together forever, just like they had promised.

He had no idea how long he'd been sitting there watching her, when her eyes fluttered open. She looked around and her eyes landed on him. She started crying and reaching for him at the same time.

Jay stood up and sat down on the side of her bed. She scrambled into his lap holding on to him for dear life as she cried. Her IV monitor started beeping because her arm was bent. Jay had seen enough to know what to do to silence it as he straightened that arm still holding her.

"You're here," she cried running her hand over his bearded face.

"I'm here. I promise. I'm sorry Lauren…. So so sorry," he whispered his own tears leaking out.

"It's ok…. It's ok…. I was never mad Jay… never. Or hurt… you didn't hurt me."

"I did," he whispered. "I hit you…. I know that much and I almost did worse…."

"But you didn't baby…. You didn't. I'm ok," she insisted.

"You're in the hospital," he whispered.

"Not because of what happened… because I didn't take care of myself," she said quietly still running her hand over his face.

"If I'd been here…"

Lauren leaned up and kissed him. She'd been dying to do it and she didn't want to hear his guilt.

"Baby," he whispered pulling back before she did it again.

"No…. I don't want to hear it. It's not your fault Jay. If you wanna talk about what happened then we will. If not…. Then we won't. But no guilt," she said stroking his face.

"Ok," he whispered softly kissing her again.

She giggled a little snuggling him. "Your beard tickles, but I kinda like it," she whispered sleepily.

"I might just have to keep it then," he whispered slowly rocking her. Lauren hummed her appreciation as she drifted off safe in his arms. He wiped her eyes then his as he held her. He didn't want to let her go.

Will and Nat had been standing out in the hall watching. Natalie let out a sigh of relief laying her head on Wills chest seeing Lauren asleep and Jay holding her. She kept Lauren's secret safe though.

"I know," Will said quietly rubbing her back. "Let's get them home. Kelly and Shay have the babies?"

Natalie nodded following Will into her room. They carefully unhooked her IV and told Jay he could dress her. They went out giving them privacy.

Once Jay had her dressed he met them down at the car. She was still sound asleep. When they got to the apartment, he carried her to their room and tried to lay her down. Lauren whimpered and clung to him.

"We'll be upstairs if you need us," Will told Jay.

"Thanks brother," Jay said sincerely and Will nodded. Jay propped up on the headboard holding Lauren. He carefully pumped her because she was full and she still never woke. He carried her to the kitchen and put the bottles up and went back to bed. He laid down and held her close.

"Sweet dreams baby," he whispered. Once his head hit the pillow and he was sure she was safe and asleep he drifted off too. It was the first night in a week, they both slept all night.


	56. Homecoming

Lauren stayed snuggled into him all night, as close as she could get. When Jay woke the next morning, she was still right there. He softly rubbed her cheek and brushed a stray curl behind her ear.

His girl, safe and in his arms. He'd left to protect her, but really leaving hurt them both; almost beyond repair. He still hadn't heard from Mouse since Monday, and while he was worried, he knew it'd be ok. He and Lauren could talk later about it.

Jay tucked her in good on his pillow and went to make breakfast. Halfway through he heard a key in the door. He went to see who it was; Kelly and Shay were bringing the twins home.

"Hey my babies," he cooed seeing them. Both squealed and started wiggling trying to get out of Kelly and Shay's arms wanting their daddy.

"I see you two. Come here," he smiled taking them.

Lauren woke up to hear the babies squeal. She was laying on Jay's pillow so she just snuggled into it to give Jay time with the babies like they needed.

She heard him tell Kelly that she was still asleep and he was gonna take care of her. She heard Kelly's reassurance that he never faulted Jay, and then they left.

She could hear the babies cooing at Jay as she softly stroked her stomach. She couldn't believe they were really gonna have another one. She laid there until she felt sick; she jumped up and ran to the bathroom praying Jay wouldn't hear her.

She was washing up when he walked in with the twins. "I thought I heard you up," he smiled. It quickly faded seeing how pale she was.

"Yea. I'm up," she smiled. "Hey babies are you having fun with daddy?" she cooed.

"Lauren… what's wrong?"

"Nothing babe I'm fine," she smiled kissing his cheek.

Thankfully the babies took his attention and they went to play. Lauren curled up on the couch watching them. She was so glad he was home and so were her babies. She slowly drifted off, just needing a little more sleep.

Jay saw her asleep and laid a blanket over her. He had a feeling something was up and she wasn't telling him something, but he couldn't put his finger on it. He knew she needed rest so he let her sleep as he played with the babies.

He fed them bottles a little before noon and they fell asleep. He took them and laid them down covering them up. Both were out.

Lauren was waking when he went back to the living room. He needed to get her to eat too. He knelt down by the couch and softly rubbed her cheek.

She whimpered a little and turned into his touch. "Hey beautiful. Wake up for me," he said softly.

Lauren's eyes fluttered open. "Hey," she smiled. "Where's…. Where's the babies?"

"Asleep. I tucked them in," he smiled.

"They're glad to have daddy home," she whispered stroking his face. He still hadn't shaved and he looked so damn good.

"I'm glad to be home," he smiled leaning towards her and softly kissing her.

Lauren kissed him back smiling against his lips. She pulled back and gazed at him with eyes full of love. She paled a little feeling sick again. "Jay…. I…." She grabbed her mouth to jump up but he ran and grabbed the garbage can making it back as she was sick.

She was crying hard now. She didn't want to be so sick again. She had to take care of her babies and she couldn't tell him yet.

"It's ok… it's ok, I'm here," Jay said rubbing her back. He didn't think she should still be sick after they gave her fluids yesterday. He was worried.

"Let me call Nat," he said reaching for his phone.

Lauren grabbed his hand. "No. I'm… I'm fine. It's just normal."

"No baby it's not. She gave you fluids yesterday and you've slept. I know your body's tired, but you still shouldn't be sick."

"Jay…. Please…. I'm…. It's ok," she managed before getting sick again.

Jay held her the whole time. He knew it wasn't ok. He got her a cold wash cloth and some sprite. "Baby…. Please…. Let me call Will and Nat," he pleaded rubbing her face with the wash cloth.

"Jay…." She whispered tears streaming down her cheeks.

He knelt down in front of her. Something was wrong, he just knew it. "It's ok baby. You're sick, let me call them," he said rubbing her cheek.

She shook her head no as tears just poured. She couldn't tell him; he had too much going on and it wasn't planned.

"It's ok Lauren. Whatever it is, its ok," he said softly rubbing her cheek.

"It's not ok….. It's not," she cried hiding her face in her hands.

"Baby….. It is ok... Whatever it is just tell me and I'll tell you again, it's ok," he said trying to move her hands.

He finally got her hands down and wiped at her tears. "What is it baby?" he asked softly.

She shook her head; "I…. I… can't," she whispered trying to hide her face again.

"Why not?" he asked gently holding her hands.

Lauren gazed at him with her tear filled eyes. "B… be… because there's just….. There's too much going on," she finally whispered.

"There's never too much for you baby. You're the most important, nothing comes before you or our babies."

She let out a hiccup sob. She couldn't keep it in, not when he was looking at her with those pleading, worried blue eyes.

She dropped his gaze and whispered, "I'm… pregnant."

Jay sat there just watching her as her tears rolled down her cheeks. She wouldn't look at him. Had she really just said she was pregnant? They'd been careful, he made sure of it. His mind was racing.

"Please…. Please say something," she whispered trying but failing to hold in her sobs.

He reached up and cradled her face making her look at him. His eyes were full of love and unshed tears. "You're pregnant?" he whispered rubbing his thumbs back and forth on her cheeks.

Lauren nodded. "Nat…. Did blood work and it showed up… She… she did an ultrasound too," she said sniffing.

"A baby," he whispered reaching down and rubbing her belly.

"A baby," she said still sniffing. "I…. I know it's a lot… I didn't… I didn't…"

Jay leaned forward and kissed her hard. "We're having another baby," he smiled rubbing her cheeks and wiping her tears.

"You're…. You're not mad?" she whispered.

"No baby I'm not. No we didn't plan it, but it's a part of me and you, our baby and I could never be mad about that."

Lauren just gazed at him as he rubbed her cheeks. "I know… I know now's not a good time and you've got a lot going on but... I,"

"I never have too much going on for you," he whispered softly kissing her. He pulled her shirt up to softly kiss and saw the fading bruise. The reality of what had happened and the fact it could've hurt their baby, their baby they didn't know about, settled on him.

Lauren was watching him and realized what was happening. She grabbed his face; "Jay…. Jay… baby no. Don't. The baby's fine, I swear," she said holding his face in her hands.

"I could've….. I could've… not just you…. But… but…"

"Jay stop, baby stop. The baby's fine. Here…. Here look," she said reaching into her pocket and getting the ultrasound picture she'd put there yesterday and forgot about until now.

"Look, Jay, look. Our baby is ok. Look," she said rubbing his cheek with one hand and holding the ultrasound in the other.

He carefully took the picture and gazed at it. "Our baby," he whispered.

"Yea our baby. Everything was fine. Nat said everything looked good, that… that I was three and half months almost four. She scheduled me an appointment with Dr. Braden for next week."

Jay sat gazing at the picture. They were having another baby. What she said was finally sinking in; "That…. That means it was our anniversary weekend," he whispered rubbing her cheek.

"Yea it does," she laughed. "Probably the morning of our anniversary," she blushed reminding him of how she'd woken up and taken him right then.

Jay smirked and kissed her hard, "You were pretty insatiable that weekend Mrs. Halstead."

"So were you," she giggled tangling her fingers in his hair.

Jay smiled and leaned back towards her; he softly kissed her belly. "Daddy already loves you baby and now we can't wait to meet you," he whispered.

Lauren ran her fingers through his hair watching him. "Our baby," she whispered.

"Our baby," he smiled climbing over her on the couch and kissing her. Lauren wrapped around him holding on tight. She never wanted him to leave again, and while she now had an explanation for her emotional swings, she still needed him to know how much she needed him.

"I've missed you so much," she whispered.

"I know baby….. I missed you too."

"Please never leave me again," she whispered and he could feel her tears on his shoulder.

"I won't baby…. I won't. I just…. I was trying to protect you."

"I know… but I don't need protection from you."

"I almost hurt you baby," he whispered his own tears falling.

"You reacted Jay. You didn't hurt me. You stopped. You realized what was happening and stopped. I'm not scared of you. I'm not," she said holding him tight.

"I was scared of me," he whispered.

"I know," she whispered. "But it's ok. You didn't hurt me."

Jay was quiet just breathing her in.

"Can we go to bed and snuggle and talk? If you want of course. We don't even have to talk. I just wanna snuggle."

"We can talk," he whispered kissing her cheek and picking her up. She held on to him as he carried her to their room. "You deserve to know."

Jay laid her down and she snuggled up to him as soon as he laid down. She'd missed him too much and just wanted him close.

Jay pulled her into his arms rubbing her back. She kept quiet waiting on him. He softly kissed her forehead.

"When…. When Mouse called, he said things were picking up and he didn't know when he could call again. I was worried…. I am worried. It just….. It triggered memories from our tour, when… we got hurt. I was dreaming. I don't….. I didn't even realize I'd hit you. When you made the noise, it startled me. I don't know… I reacted, and when I realized I was over you, fixing to hurt you, it scared me shitless. The only thing I could think of was to get away so you and the kids were safe."

He had tears running down his cheeks as she rubbed his back and snuggled him.

"I'm so sorry baby. I am," he cried softly.

"It's ok, Jay. It is baby. I wasn't hurt and I was never mad or scared. I wasn't. I just wanted you to come home."

Jay held her tight soaking in her love. It was all he needed to soothe him. "I can't…. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I…. I tried at the cabin to beat it again."

"It's ok if it does. Just…. Just please let me be here for you and don't run."

"I won't, I promise," he whispered holding her tight.

"I love you Jay Matthew and nothing can change that."

Jay leaned down and kissed her hard. "I love you too Lauren Kathleen and nothing can change that," he smiled.

"One day will you tell me about it? Our time apart all those years ago?" she whispered quietly.

Jay softly rubbed her back. "Yea love I will," he whispered kissing her forehead.

Lauren kissed him again and snuggled into him. Just as she got comfy, Jayla started crying and then Jayden. "I got them," he smiled and Lauren nodded.

She watched him on the monitor pick them up. Jayla settled instantly in his arms and Jayden fussed a little and then settled. They'd both missed him and just wanted him. He brought them back to their room and they were drifting again.

"Let them sleep on daddy," she smiled. "They've missed you."

"I've missed them," he whispered kissing each of them.

Jayden was sucking his thumb sound asleep again and Jayla was watching him with heavy eyes. He softly sang to her, swaying just a little and she drifted back off.

He laid down by Lauren and laid them both on him so they'd be comfy. Lauren smiled; "Daddy's babies," she whispered. Jay smiled and pulled her close.

"I'm lucky," he whispered.

"Me too baby," she smiled kissing his cheek. "I like the beard."

"Hmmm guess I'll have to keep it," he grinned.

"Guess you will," she winked.

They rested with the babies and when they woke they all went to play. The babies loved the attention. That night Mouse Skyped. He told Jay all about the action and while he said he was ok he looked tired.

The babies cooed at him and Lauren told him they'd be glad when he was home. Jay shared their news; he wanted Mouse to know… just in case. Mouse was thrilled and told them how he couldn't wait to meet the new baby. He hoped to be home by then. They told him to be safe and that they'd be there when he got home.

That night the babies slept with them. It was a perfect night's sleep and Lauren knew they were gonna be ok. New baby or not, they would be ok.


	57. Valentine's & Doctor

Valentine's day was rather interesting this year. All three couples were married, Jay and Lauren had the twins and we're expecting, and Will and Natalie were expecting. Jay and Lauren didn't want to ask anyone to keep the kids so they could go out, so they decided to have their night at home.

While Valentine's was a big deal to some people, it just wasn't to them. Jay showed his love to her all the time, and one day specifically dedicated to love wasn't going to change that.

He had to work that day, so Lauren decided to cook him a romantic dinner. She'd gotten him a card and helped the twins make him something. They weren't doing much, but she still wanted to make him feel special.

While the twins napped, she did a little house cleaning and prepping for that night. On Friday after Valentine's they had an appointment to find out the sex of their baby. She was starting to get excited as it got closer. They'd been working on cleaning up the spare room to make into another nursery. They knew before long they were going to have to house hunt. Their three bedroom apartment just wasn't going to be big enough anymore.

After cleaning, Lauren went ahead and made dinner. That way when the twins woke from their nap, she could play with them. She made chicken parmigiana with homemade garlic bread, Jay's favorite. She set his card, gift from her, and the twins gift on the table with a candle. She couldn't wait for him to get home.

That afternoon she played with the twins and fed them their baby food before Jay got home. He was running a little behind, but promised he'd be there soon.

She was just cleaning up from feeding the twins when she heard him come in. "Daddy's home," she smiled.

"Hey loves," he said kissing their heads. "Sorry I'm late," he said kissing Lauren soundly and softly rubbing her belly. She had the tiniest of bumps showing and he loved it.

"It's ok. They just finished eating," she smiled kissing him again.

"Good. Let me change really quick and we'll eat," he smiled.

Lauren heated up their food as Jay went to change. He put four dozen roses in their room, one from each of their kids and one from him. He left her presents on the bed and went to eat with her.

Dinner was delicious as always and before they took the twins to bathe, Jay opened his gifts. Lauren used the twins feet and made hearts on paper with writing telling him he was the best daddy ever and they loved him so much. Then he opened Lauren's gift which was a sweet romantic card and a gift card for the new gun he'd been wanting. His gifts were perfect and he loved them.

While Valentine's day wasn't all that important, Lauren still felt a little let down he hadn't gotten her anything. She shook it off knowing it was just her pregnancy hormones messing with her and took the twins to bathe.

After helping her with the baths, Jay went to clean up while Lauren nursed. She got the twins down for bed and went to clean.

"It's done love," Jay smiled scooping her up.

"Oh thanks," she smiled back. "Where are we going?" she giggled as he carried her.

He carried her to their room and carefully opened the door before setting her down. He heard her sharp intake of air as she looked around. He'd also lit candles around the room while she put the twins down.

"Oh Jay," she whispered as he wrapped his arms around her resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Thought I forgot huh?" he grinned against her neck.

Lauren barely nodded as she wiped her eyes.

"Never baby," he smiled softly kissing. He led her over to the bed to open her presents. The first card was from the twins and their gift was a locket necklace with a picture of each of them. The she opened Jay's card and his gift was a bead for her bracelet saying mommy of three and a heart bead for Valentine's.

"Jay…. It's all so perfect," she whispered climbing in his lap kissing him.

"I'm glad baby," he smiled rubbing her back. "One set of roses is from me, the other three are from our babies," he smiled.

"You're amazing," she whispered kissing him harder.

Their kisses became more intense until they were both naked and desperate for more. He took her hard and fast and she gave right back until they'd both fell into oblivion moaning each other's name.

"Happy Valentine's my love," Jay whispered as she was drifting off in his arms.

"Happy Valentine's," she whispered back before falling into a deep sleep.

Friday, they had an appointment with Dr. Braden. It would be their second one; the first confirming that the baby was healthy and on track. This appointment they would be able to find out the sex of the baby if they wanted. Since they already had one of each, they decided to just find out and surprise their family.

Natalie was still the only one that knew, besides Mouse. They had invited everyone over for dinner tonight and was going to have cake to break the news. They'd also invited the guys from the district, and Jay had even gotten Mouse to be able to Skype tonight for the reveal.

"Hello guys," Dr. Braden greeted.

"Hey," Lauren smiled. She was already on the table waiting, and Jay was holding the twins. Natalie had been off and offered to keep them, but at eight moths pregnant Lauren and Jay didn't want to overload her with keeping up with the twins.

"So are we going to find out today?" she asked.

Lauren nodded yes.

"Alright well let me just get the normal stuff out of the way and then we'll get that cutie up on the screen," she smiled. She took Lauren's measurements and checked her over good. Once that was done she got the ultrasound machine and squirted the gel on her stomach. She was just starting to show, the baby having plenty of room from where the twins had stretched her.

The baby's heartbeat filled the room and Lauren looked at Jay and smiled. The twins were oblivious to what was going on as their parents took in the sight of their new baby.

"Everything is looking good," Dr. Braden said moving the wand around showing them different angles of their growing baby. "You're sure you want to know?" she smiled.

"We're sure," Jay smiled watching. She moved the wand and put the baby in view.

"Congratulations guys, you're having another boy," she smiled.

Jay and Lauren stared at the screen in awe. "Another boy," she whispered as Jay wiped her tears.

"I'll get these printed and they'll schedule your next appointment as you leave. Congratulations again."

"Thank you," Jay smiled. He put the twins in their carriers that they had almost outgrown and then helped Lauren redress. They took the pictures and scheduled her next appointment before leaving. They stopped at the store on the way home and got what they needed for dinner and picked up the cake. Lauren was excited to share their news.

While she'd been apprehensive at first, she was really excited about a new baby. She loved being a mother and a new baby would just add to that love. Once they were home, Jay fixed them lunch and then they got the babies down for their nap. They'd gone from two naps a day to just one.

While the babies slept Lauren and Jay got ready for their guests. Jay did manage to get her to relax on the couch for a bit. She'd convinced him to snuggle with her. He softly rubbed her belly. "Another boy," she smiled softly kissing him.

Jay chuckled, "You're going to be outnumbered now."

"That's ok. I love my boys," she smiled.

Jay smiled and kissed her hard. "I already have a name," she whispered with a smile.

"Oh really?" he smiled and she nodded. "Well let's hear it," he prompted.

"Jayson," she smiled.

"Jayson," he whispered. "I like it."

"You do?" she smiled big and he nodded.

"Our little Jayson," he whispered rubbing his fingers over her small bump.

Lauren giggled as Jay scooped her up and carried her to bed. He laid her down and slowly pulled her shirt up. Lauren watched him biting her lip. He softly kissed over her baby bump and Lauren sighed softly. She loved when he did this.

"Jayson, we love you so much and can't wait to meet you. Keep growing big and strong for us and before you know it you'll be here with me and mommy and your brother and sister. You'll have a cousin by then too. A whole family that loves you so much buddy," Jay whispered kissing all over her belly.

Lauren smiled, "He's gonna love daddy just as much as we do."

Jay smiled up at her as he worshipped her body with kisses. Just as Lauren was getting ready to tell him to hurry it up she needed him, the twins woke from their nap. She groaned and kissed him hard. Jay smiled, "I'll get them," he whispered with another kiss.

"Damn you Halstead," she groaned making him chuckle. He got up and went to get the twins. While they had terrible timing, he still loved them a whole bunch. He got them changed and took them to the living room to play.

Lauren joined them in a few minutes making the babies squeal. Jayden rolled himself over and pushed up looking at her with a grin similar to Jay's. "Oh my goodness Jay look," she squealed. Jayden never took his eyes off her. She cooed and babbled at him encouraging him to crawl to her. Jay videoed it on his phone. He got it on camera when Jayden took off crawling to his mama. Lauren praised him so excited he'd finally crawled. Jayden babbled to her making her laugh. They weren't talking yet, but Jay knew they would before long.

Jayla rolled over looking at them and babbled. She tried doing what Jayden had, but gave up when she didn't get all the way up on all fours. Jay picked her up and kissed her cheek. "You'll be crawling before long princess," he cooed. Jayla smiled at him and babbled. They played with the babies some before everyone started arriving.

Will and Nat were first and when Jayden saw them he crawled to them taking them by surprise. Jayla tried again but only made it on all fours. Kelly and Shay were next; with a little help from Lauren, Jayla crawled towards them squealing. Will settled Natalie on the couch and went to help Jay grill. Kelly joined the guys leaving the girls to play with the twins.

Once all the guys from the district arrived they settled in and ate. Lauren fed the twins some baby food before eating herself. After they finished, Lauren was getting the cake ready when Mouse called. Jay talked to him for a bit and showed him the video of Jayden crawling. Of course the twins had to get their babbles in making him laugh.

"Ready?" Lauren called and Jay responded positively bringing the laptop into the dining area. Mouse greeted everyone curious to what was going on now. Jayden and Jayla babbled oblivious to the fact their parents had ever ones attention.

"So we asked yall here tonight because we have some news to share," Jay smiled.

Natalie gave a knowing smile and Lauren continued, "About a month ago, we found out we were expecting again," she smiled.

Everyone started to offer their congratulations before Jay continued; "Today we found out what we were having," he smiled.

"Well?" Mouse asked making everyone laugh. He was impatient for some good news.

Jay smiled and helped Lauren hold the cake up; "Another boy," she smiled.

This time everyone offered their congratulations. They sat the cake down and let the happy parents go finish their conversation with Mouse knowing his time was short.

They set the laptop back on Jay's desk and Lauren settled in his lap. "Congrats guys. I'm so happy for yall," Mouse smiled.

"Thanks man," Jay smiled back.

"Have they said when you'll be home?" Lauren asked.

Mouse sighed so softly they almost didn't hear it. "No not yet. We have a big mission coming up in the next couple of weeks. I hope and pray I'm home soon though. While this has purpose and meaning, I miss my family. I miss not having to always watch my back. I just wanna come home."

Lauren let a few tears fall as she laid her head on Jay's shoulder. "I know man, I know. You'll be home soon. Just stay focused Mouse ok? And come home to us," Jay said rubbing Lauren's back.

"Yea, yea I will. I gotta go but I'll call soon. Give the twins and little man my love."

"Will do. Stay safe Mouse," Jay said.

"I will. Bye guys," he said before hanging up.

"You ok?" Lauren asked running her fingers thru Jay's hair as she nuzzled his neck. He softly rubbed her belly before answering.

"Yea I'm ok. I'll be ok. Hopefully he'll be home soon," he sighed.

"Yea hopefully," Lauren said. As they sat there together they heard little movements and Will calling for Jayden.

Lauren giggled. "Mobile baby equals escapee," Jay laughed as Jayden crawled to them. He picked him up and tickled him making Jayden laugh. They went back with their friends and family to celebrate their good news.

Once the cake was eaten, and food put away, everyone started to leave. The babies were getting sleepy, so Lauren went to start their baths while Jay saw everyone out. She gave the babies their night time bottle; while it was still her milk, she was trying to break them from nursing before their new baby arrived. So far it was going ok, with the occasional fit where she caved and let them nurse. She knew though before long she'd have to start them on regular milk because she couldn't nurse three.

She got them settled for the night and went to find Jay. He had her a bath waiting and she smiled.

"Join me?" she asked stripping.

Jay eyed her up and down appreciatively with a smile. He wrapped his hands around her bump. "Why Mrs. Halstead, I don't think I've ever passed up a bath with you," he whispered softly kissing her neck.

Lauren hummed her approval; "No Mr. Halstead I don't believe you have," she moaned.

He softly rubbed her belly as they settled in the warm tub. Lauren smiled relaxing into his embrace as he rubbed. "You ok?" she whispered.

Jay laid his chin on her shoulder and kept softly rubbing. "Yea I think so. You make it ok," he whispered.

"Just tell me what you need Jay. I'll do anything to help you," she said turning in his lap to face him.

He softly kissed her running his fingers through her hair. "I just need you love," he whispered.

"I'm here," she smiled resting her forehead against his.

They dried off and went to bed. Lauren picked up where they had left off that afternoon, and Jay lost himself in her loving. They fell asleep snuggled together, and Jay slept all night with her in his arms. While he still had the occasional dream, Lauren usually kept them away. He knew he eventually needed to tell her about his Ranger days, but he just wasn't ready. She was ok with that because she knew he would tell her one day. And hopefully one day soon Mouse would be back home with them.


	58. Halstead Baby & Return

Almost a month after finding out they were having a boy, they got a phone call they'd been expecting. Natalie was in labor. They were thrilled for them and couldn't wait to meet the little girl.

After almost twelve hours of labor on March twelfth, Natalie gave birth to an eight pound two ounce baby girl. She had a head full of hair and Will swore she looked like Nat. They were a blissfully happy family of three.

Once they were home, Jay and Lauren took the twins up to visit. They'd told the almost one year olds repeatedly that they had to be very careful with the baby. Once they saw their aunt and uncle, Jaden wasn't fazed by the baby. Jayla cooed and babbled at her, clapping when Grace Marie opened her eyes to look at her.

Lauren and Jay took turns holding her. She was a beautiful little girl and they were happy to welcome her to the family. After fixing supper for the new little family, they ate and then took their rowdy two home to let the new family settle in for the night.

One week later Jay was settling in on the couch with Lauren while the twins were playing when his phone rang with a number he didn't recognize.

"Hello," he answered tentatively.

"Detective Halstead?" the voice said.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"This is Staff Sargent Andrews."

"Mouse?" Jay said on alert without thinking.

"Uh. That's why I was calling sir. You were listed as Greg's next of kin and he kept saying your name."

"What happened?" Jay asked quickly as Lauren's eyes watched him get up and pace.

"There was an explosion outside of base. Several humvees were returning. His was one of them. He's still alive but he is critical sir. His body was peppered with shrapnel and one artery was nicked. We're currently in Germany and he's undergoing surgery and a transfusion. Once stable he'll be flown stateside to DC."

"When will that be?" Jay asked his mind working over time processing the news.

"We're not sure yet, but I will call you back when I have details."

"Thank you sir," Jay said as the Staff Sargent hung up.

Jay ran his hands through his hair trying to contain his emotions knowing the twins were watching him now too.

"Jay," Lauren said softly laying her hand on his shoulder.

"It's Mouse," he whispered fighting the tears.

"I'm gonna call Kelly get them to come get the babies. Go to our room and I'll be right there ok?" she said hugging him tight.

Jay just nodded. He bent down and kissed her bump before kissing the twins heads and retreating to their room.

He sank down in the floor along the wall and let the tears fall. Mouse was hurt, seriously injured and Jay wasn't there. They said he was stable but what if something changed. He'd never forgive himself if Mouse didn't make it. He needed Mouse home.

Lauren heard his cries as she got the twins' stuff together, thankful that Kelly and Shay could keep them. She also text Will to let him know what had a happened. She prayed hard that Mouse would be ok, because they all needed him.

After Kelly and Shay took the babies, Lauren quietly walked into their room and found Jay still in the floor. "Oh baby," she said kneeling in front of him. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her as he still quietly cried. "It's ok baby. It's ok," she whispered holding him tight.

She held him as he cried. Once he'd settled some, she helped him up and took him to shower. After washing him off and massaging his head and shoulders, she took him to bed. "Talk to me," she whispered as his fingers softly rubbed on her bump.

"He was in an explosion. P… peppered with shrapnel. He was in surgery. One…. Nicked his artery and they were giving him blood. He'll be stateside as soon as he's stable.

Lauren kept her fingers softly running through his hair. "He's strong Jay. He can pull through this. He has us."

"I know… he's just… he's all alone."

"Go to him," she said.

"I can't. I have you and the kids," he said rolling on his side.

Lauren sighed before switching positions to face him again knowing he was feeling guilty. "I said go to him," she said cradling his face. "The kids and I will be fine. Mouse needs you."

"You're pregnant and I'm not leaving you for days on end with the twins."

"Jay…. I wouldn't be alone. Kelly and Shay can help out. Will and Nat would too if we asked but they have Grace so I can rely on Kelly and Shay. I promise. It's not like I'm due any day. Mouse is our family now, not just yours and I'm telling you to go be with him."

"They'll call when they know he'll be flying into DC," he said not arguing with her.

"We'll get you to DC then," she said matter of factly.

"Ok," he whispered gazing into her green eyes.

"Jay it's gonna be ok. I'm here," she whispered softly kissing him. They didn't sleep much that night. Jay talking about how he met Mouse and how they became best friends. He didn't share anything deep just light hearted stories.

The next morning Lauren drifted off from exhaustion and Jay got up waiting on another phone call. He deep cleaned their apartment; cleaning had always been his thing since his Ranger days and while Lauren always kept the apartment clean for him, even with the twins, he needed something to do while she slept.

She woke around lunch and heard him on the phone. She wrapped her arms around him, laying her head between his shoulders as she listened quietly. When Jay hung up, she went to the laptop to pull up flights to DC.

"When does he land?" she asked.

"Tomorrow morning at eight," he said joining her.

Lauren booked him a flight for eight that night so he'd already be there when Mouse landed. She went to pack him clothes while he called Antonio to get days off. Lauren had Kelly and Shay bring the twins home to tell him bye, and Will was going to drop him at the airport for her.

Everything was set. Now they just waited for Mouse to return to them.

Jay waited at the hospital the next morning having barely slept in the motel room. He was worried about Mouse and it was weird sleeping without Lauren. He'd gotten so used to it, he almost couldn't sleep without her now.

"Has Greg Gerwitz been brought in yet?" Jay asked a nurse for like the fiftieth time.

She checked their records before giving him a sympathetic look. "Ambulance will be arriving any minute and he'll be taken straight to surgery."

"What?! Why?!" Jay asked hearing this for the first time.

"Some shrapnel was left inside him in Germany because he wasn't stable enough. They're going to remove it and repair the artery Germany pieced together to get him stateside."

Jay let out a sigh running his hands through his hair before thanking her and returning to the waiting room. When he got tired of staring at the same four walls after five minutes he went outside for some fresh air. He sent Lauren a text telling her to call when she woke.

It wasn't five minutes and she was calling him.

"Hey baby," he answered hearing her return his hey.

"What's wrong?" she asked picking up on the clues in his voice.

"They're taking him straight to surgery when he arrives. Shrapnel still inside him and to repair the artery."

"Oh Jay. I'm so sorry babe. Do you need me to come?"

Jay smiled a small smile knowing his girl would do anything for him. "No.. no.. it's ok. You stay with the twins. I just needed to hear your voice.

"I'm here always babe. Anytime," she said hoping he'd understand he could call her any time no matter what.

"I know. I love you Lauren."

"I love you too Jay."

"Give the babies my love."

"I will. We'll see you soon."

They hung up and Jay went back to waiting. He got text off and on from people back home but he didn't have them any answers. After about three hours of waiting a doctor walked into the waiting room and called his name.

Jay jumped up. "How is he?" he asked immediately.

"Mr. Gerwitz is in recovery and will be in a room shortly. We removed all the shrapnel and repaired the nicked artery. The next twenty-four hours are crucial and he is sedated to let his body heal, but we are hopeful he'll make a full recovery."

"I'm staying with him."

"Of course sir. When he's in a room a nurse will come get you," the doctor said before walking off.

Jay let out a small sigh of relief. Twenty-four hours and sitting and waiting. He could do it. Mouse had done it plenty for him so he could do this now. He called Lauren and gave her an update and she promised to let everyone know.

He was taken back to the room in just a few minutes and he settled by the bed. It'd been a long time since he'd seen Mouse in this kinda shape. It broke him. He let a few tears fall apologizing for not being there before exhaustion finally kicked in and Jay fell asleep. 


	59. Twins 1st bday & TN

**4 weeks later…..**

It was a Saturday and they were getting ready for the twins first birthday at the park. Jay was watching Lauren bustle around trying to get the decorations just right. He watched as Mouse played with the twins having healed nicely.

He remembered four weeks prior sitting by the bed waiting for him to wake.

_After almost ten hours of sleep, Jay felt his hands twitching as Mouse started to wake. He wasn't sure where he was until he heard Jay's voice. He locked eyes with his best friend._

_"It's ok. You're safe," Jay said reassuring him._

He'd stayed in the hospital three days before they flew back to Chicago and his care transferred to Med. Jay had moved him in with them knowing Mouse would need them more than ever.

Once his had body healed, he'd started meeting with Dr. Charles. Jay didn't want Mouse slipping again, and he knew his PTSD would return. When Mouse wasn't doing some kind of therapy, he was helping Lauren with the twins. He wasn't ready to go back to work yet, and it was a big help while Jay was at work and the baby continued growing inside her.

While Mouse still wasn't one hundred percent, he was doing much better. Lauren snuck over and wrapped her hands around Jay from behind making him smile.

"Hi beautiful," he said pulling her around in front of him kissing her.

"Hi," she smiled returning the kiss. "He's doing fine you know," she said having watched Jay watching Mouse.

"I know. I was just thinking about far he's come in four weeks and how different it is than last time."

Lauren smiled up at him. "That's because of you Jay. He has a family now."

"It's because of you too," he smiled kissing the tip of her nose making her giggle.

"I can't believe our babies are one," she said turning so her back was against him and they were both watching the kids.

"I know Jayden is walking and Jayla almost is and they both babble nonstop."

Lauren laughed "Yes they do."

It'd been the week Mouse had come home that Jayden took his first steps. Mouse had been on the couch and Jay and Lauren were in his chair and they were watching a movie. The kids were playing in the floor and Jayden decided he wanted "Mooowwww" to play too. He pulled up on the coffee table and took off walking to him. They'd barely gotten it on video. After that he walked everywhere.

Jayla had tried but every time she fell she cried and didn't like it. Once her balance was better they knew she'd take off like her brother. "They're growing up," Lauren sighed.

"Yep. But we've got another one," Jay chuckled running his hands up and down her growing bump. Just then the baby kicked as if reminding his mother he was there.

Lauren laughed and laid her hands over Jay's. "Yes baby I know you're still there. Mommy didn't forget you." She felt another kick and smiled.

"Have you told them the name yet?" she asked Jay looking up at him with a smile.

"No. I will later. I wanna keep it a surprise."

Lauren just nodded. "Surprise it is," she said.

Will, Natalie and Grace arrived at the same time as Kelly and Shay. The guys from the unit showed up and the party started. The kids played, loving the attention from everyone and they ate.

Then they did cake and ice cream. The twins loved their mini cakes and ended up with it all over them. After a quick clean up they opened all their presents and then played with some of the toys in the grass while their parents visited with everyone.

About mid afternoon they started getting fussy and everyone cleaned up and headed home. Lauren got the twins down for their nap and went to take one herself. It'd been a busy but good day celebrating the kids. She still couldn't believe her babies were really one now. They were just growing way too fast.

/

The next week she decided to take the twins to Tennessee to meet her family. Her babies were one and still didn't know that side of the family. She'd tried getting them to come up for Christmas but they just wouldn't.

While Jay wasn't thrilled with the idea, he didn't stop her either. They decided he needed to stay and work so he'd have time off when the baby was born, but he really wanted to go with her. She had a ten hour drive with two kids while seven months pregnant. Needless to say, he called her a lot on the way to make sure she was ok.

She finally made it and was totally worn out. The babies decided to be clingy since they were in a new place with strangers. They ended up sleeping in bed with her the first night.

They still weren't too sure about her family the next day when everyone came to her grandparents to visit. Everyone was excited to see them and meet the kids, but the kids weren't excited. They stayed glued to Lauren and cried when anyone tried to take them.

Her mom wasn't too thrilled she was already pregnant again. She thought they definitely should've waited and Lauren should've went to work for a few years and saved up money. Lauren tried not to let it dampen her spirits at being home, but it was definitely starting to get stressful.

Her mom had reconciled with her step dad in the year and a half since Lauren had been gone so things were on rocky ground to begin with. Lauren was having to stay at her grandparents and her mom wasn't spending as much time with her as she'd have thought she would've wanted to. She definitely didn't make an attempt to get to know the kids which didn't help with their clingyness either.

Lauren missed Jay and was really wishing she hadn't come without him after the second day of the babies being clingy with no help. On the third day Lauren decided to head home. She'd seen everyone, her mom wasn't making much effort to visit long, and the babies needed to get back home and to routine.

She told everyone goodbye before lunch and her mom threw a fit. She didn't understand why Lauren was leaving early or why her children acted the way they did. Lauren had once again had enough and packed up heading back to Chicago. She was exhausted and the kids were cranky.

It was a long drive with many stops. She ended up getting home at midnight making it a twelve hours drive. Luckily the twins were out and Jay just carried them to bed. Lauren went to take a quick soak in the tub wanting to just relax.

"You were right," she whispered to Jay once they were in bed and he was rubbing her back relaxing her.

"About what?" he asked quietly.

"I shouldn't have gone. Of course it was great seeing my grandparents, but mom's back with him and things are just as they were. She isn't happy about the new baby, she didn't want to spend time with us. It explains why she never came up either."

"I'm so sorry sweetheart," he said kissing her forehead.

"Yea me too. But she's the one missing out."

"Yes she is," Jay said glad Lauren knew that. "You're an amazing mother and our children our lucky. Nothing will ever change how much I love you and our babies."

"We love you too Jay," she smiled kissing him hard.

It wasn't long and she drifted into a soundless, peaceful sleep.

Jay was glad she was back home with him. He was upset he hadn't been able to go with her and that once again her mother had treated her that way, but he was very glad she was back home and happy again. If he could he'd protect her from all that forever so she'd always know how much she was loved and wanted by him. He softly kissed her forehead and watched her sleeping.

How anyone could treat her the way her mother had was beyond him. He'd love her everyday until he died. He snuggled her close and fell asleep with her dreaming of how happy their little family would be.


	60. Jay's Birthday

It'd been a couple of weeks since Lauren's trip to Tennessee, and Mouse had been living with them for a little over a month. He was slowly getting better. The twins loved having him around. They ate up all the attention, and it seemed to be helping Mouse just as much. He'd play with them and spoil them, and he seemed more like his old self each day.

Lauren wanted to ask him a favor, so once the twins were asleep she quietly approached him. " Hey Mouse?"

"Yea?" he asked pausing the movie he'd started.

"Can I ask a favor?"

"Sure. What do you need?"

"Well Jay's birthday is next week and I really want a day to ourselves so I was gonna see if you could keep the twins?"

Mouse got really quiet and really still.

"I mean… you don't have to. It's fine. I can ask Kelly and Shay… I just thought since you were here it'd be easier. I just…. Never mind. You don't have to…." She rambled backtracking when he just kept quiet.

"You…. You want me to keep your babies all night?" he asked quietly as if he was in shock.

"Yea Mouse. I mean if you want. You don't have to though."

"You trust me like that?"

Lauren sat down on the couch facing him. "Yea Mouse we do. Why wouldn't we?"

"I just… I'm not…. The war…"

Lauren laid her hand over his and smiled at him. "Yea you went back and you came home. No it probably hasn't been easy but you've done so well. The babies love you so much and you're such a great uncle to them. You've been such a big help with them since I've been pregnant. You've been a God-send Mouse. Jay and I trust you so much, especially with our babies."

Mouse was quiet, staring at her hand over his. "What if something happened though?" he asked quietly.

"Meaning what if you had an attack and were alone with them?"

Mouse nodded.

"When was your last one?" she asked gently.

"Two weeks ago when you were gone."

Lauren gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Mouse we trust you. I think you'd be fine with them, but if you don't I totally understand."

Mouse thought it over. When the babies were around, war was far from his mind. The twins were his light in the darkness. They seemed to make it better.

"I'll do it," he finally said.

Lauren hugged him tight. "Thank you Mouse," she whispered as little Jayson kicked. "I think he agrees," she laughed making Mouse smile.

"Mouse did Jay tell you his full name?" she asked laying back against the couch softly rubbing her belly. She knew Jay wanted it to be a surprise but she thought he needed to know to see just how much they trusted him.

Mouse shook his head no; "He just said yall had finally agreed on one."

Lauren smiled, "Yea we did and Jay picked it out."

"What is it going to be?" Mouse asked already knowing they were going to call him Jayson.

"Jayson Gregory William," Lauren smiled at him.

Mouse sat there just staring at her hand softly rubbing her belly. "You're serious?" he asked her.

"Yes Mouse I am. Jay wanted to name him after you and Will. You really mean a lot to us Mouse."

"Yall mean the world to me," he whispered tearing up a little.

Lauren just smiled giving his hand a squeeze. "I'm going to nap. Wake me if you need me," she said letting him get back to his movie.

Mouse was over come with emotions realizing how important and life saving his best friend and his family had become to him. He couldn't have made it without them and he was so glad to be a part of their lives. He could do this for them. Give them a night together without the kids before they added another one. He'd make sure nothing happened to the babies while they were gone.

/

A week later Lauren surprised Jay the day before his birthday. "We're going to the cabin," she smiled holding their duffle bags.

"Uh… we are?" he asked getting ready for work.

"Yes. Just me and you," she smiled leaning up on her toes to kiss him on his lips.

"I have to work," he said quietly.

"I got you the day off," she grinned. "Mouse is going to keep the kids so it's just me and you," she smiled big.

"Mouse is going to keep them?" he asked. He loved his best friend and trusted him with his life but he knew Mouse was still fearful of attacks and he was surprised he agreed to this.

"Yes. He told me last week he would."

"Wow. I'm surprised."

"I just told him how much we trusted him," she said with a small shrug.

Jay kissed her hard. "You are amazing my dear wife, simply amazing."

She giggled at him. "I just love you," she smiled.

"And I just love you."

"Come on handsome let's go celebrate your birthday," she winked. Jay smiled as he took her hand following her out. They kissed the babies good bye and told Mouse if he needed anything at all to call and that Will and Nat were just upstairs both being off.

He assured them he'd be ok and they headed out. Lauren decided to drive because Jay had been super busy with a case and she knew before too much longer she wouldn't be doing much driving until after the baby. Jay decided to take a power nap in the backseat while she drove so he'd be rested up for their time away.

He laid out as best he could with his height; knees slightly bent, slightly on his side with one leg hanging almost off the seat and his other foot propped on his leg and fell asleep.

Lauren smiled hearing his soft snores. She knew he'd been worn out, and she was looking forward to getting him away for the night. She also hoped he'd be up for her birthday surprise she had planned for him.

After a little while she glanced in the mirror to check on him and was totally overwhelmed with her need for him seeing how he was laying. As busy as he'd been and as tired as she got with the kids and being pregnant, they hadn't had much time for just them. She suddenly realized just how bad she needed him.

She kept glancing back checking on him and it was like a slow burn building in her. He just looked so damn sexy even asleep.

After a long agonizing two hours, they arrived at the cabin. Lauren killed the engine and reached back gently squeezing his knee. "Jay, we're here," she said kinda quiet so as not to startle him. Really she just wanted to crawl back there and take him right then, but she thought they might need to at least make it inside.

He stirred hearing her voice. "We're here?" he said sleepily rubbing his eyes as he sat up.

"Yea babe," she giggled squeezing his thigh.

Jay smiled at her and then got out, helping her out before grabbing their bags. They went in and Jay dumped their bags in their room before following her out to the porch. It was a beautiful early summer day, and Lauren loved the view from their porch. She felt his arms wrap around her expanding stomach and she smiled. She sank back into his embrace with a soft hum.

"This is wonderful," he whispered his breath across her neck adding to her desire.

She hummed her approval and sank further against him. Jay smiled and softly kissed her neck rubbing her belly. Lauren couldn't stop the moan that escaped at his kisses. She wanted him for two long damn hours and she needed him now.

She spun in his arms and kissed him hard until they were both breathless. She tugged at his shirt trying to get it over his head before he grabbed her hands stilling her. She grunted her disapproval and tried to wiggle free before he pinned her to the wall.

"I've got you," he whispered.

Lauren pushed back until she flipped their positions and pinned him. "I've wanted you the whole way up. I don't want patience," she said biting his lip. "I want you, Jay, now. Buried deep in me unit I come," she panted finally getting his shirt off.

"Damn baby," he whispered as she shed his shorts and boxers next.

"You've teased me for two long hours and I need you," she said honestly pulling the sun dress up and over her head. "Now Jay," she said unhooking her bra and letting it fall with the rest of their clothes.

Jay reached for her kissing her hard as he pinned her to the wall picking her up. He wouldn't hurt her so he'd be gentle, but damn she knew how to turn him on.

"Please Jay," she moaned feeling him tease her entrance.

"I've got you love," he whispered before fusing their lips as he slid all the way in her.

She broke the kiss, her head falling against the cabin wall as she moaned his name loud feeling him fill her. "God yes Jay," she moaned clamping around him.

"Fuck Lauren," he panted as she squeezed him hard.

"Yes Jay… God yes fuck me," she panted in his ear before biting it. She knew all the spots to make him lose control.

Jay growled feeling her teeth get the sensitive spot on his ear he liked and it made her smile as he started thrusting. "God yes baby. Don't stop, please don't stop," she begged holding on for the ride. He thrust hard and fast keeping her against the cabin wall as their moans and pants mixed together.

It didn't take long and she was teetering on the edge. "Please Jay, God please let me come," she panted squeezing him hard.

"Come for me baby, come," he panted hitting all the right spots with his thrusts. She tossed her head back squeezing him hard and exploded screaming his name. Feeling her come was always the tipping point for him and he came hard and fast.

As they started to come down he sank to the porch still in her holding her in his lap as they both worked on catching their breath.

"Damn baby, that was sexy," he panted rubbing her back.

"You're sexy," she whispered laying her head on his shoulder. "You were just so enticing the way you were sleeping in the car and I just… the whole way up here it just kept building," she whispered with a blush highlighting her cheeks.

"Sexy blush," he whispered kissing her hard.

They eventually made it to the bedroom and then the bathroom for shower sex before actually washing off. That night Lauren surprised him with a new nighty and lace garter set. He took his sweet time slowly "unwrapping" her and gave her two more orgasm before letting himself join her.

The next day she made his favorite breakfast and they went home to celebrate with their family. Mouse had done amazing with the kids and they didn't have any problems. He was starting to think it was time to get his own place but he just wasn't ready to leave them. He could see the night away had done Lauren and Jay some good and he was glad to help them out. He couldn't wait for his other nephew to be there.


	61. Baby Jayson

It'd been almost five weeks since Jay's birthday and Lauren was growing increasingly uncomfortable. She felt as big as a house and keeping up with the twins was exhausting. Luckily Mouse was still around helping, but she knew he was ready to get back to work. She couldn't blame him. The twins could be a lot to handle even though she knew he loved them.

It was four thirty in the afternoon and she'd been in pain all day. She knew her water hadn't broken, but she was almost positive she was contracting. She did not want a repeat of the twins birth, so she tried calling Jay. When he didn't answer, she called Kelly to come get her and asked Mouse to stay with the kids. He readily agreed and promised to find Jay for her.

Jay had been at work, wrapping up a case with the final interview. He'd never heard his phone ring. When Tony sent them home for the day, he pulled out his phone seeing one missed call from Lauren and six missed calls from Mouse. As he was fixing to call him back, Mouse called again.

"Hey man what's up?" Jay answered.

"Where the hell have you been?" Mouse asked frantically. It'd been a little over an hour since Lauren had tried calling him.

"At work buddy. Now take a deep breath and breathe. What's wrong?" Jay asked sliding into his car.

"Lauren…. Shit. I'm with the babies. Kelly took her."

"Took her where?" Jay asked trying not to panic.

"Hospital," Mouse said as Jay hung up throwing the car in drive and speeding off to Med.

He parked and raced in as fast as he could.

Will just happened to see him and grabbed his arm. "Calm down little brother. She's fine. She's just in labor."

"How long? Where?" he asked breaking free of Will's hold to find her.

Will laughed and grabbed his arm dragging him to the elevator. They got on and Jay paced. "She's only been here an hour so relax."

"How is she? She ok? In a lot of pain? Scared? Freaking out?"

"No that's just you," Will laughed as they got off on the maternity floor. "She's fine brother I promise," he said leading him to her room.

As soon as he pushed the door open he raced to her side. He cradled her face and kissed her. "I'm here baby. I'm so sorry I wasn't earlier."

"It's ok. We're ok I promise," she smiled rubbing her hands over her protruding belly. Kelly had gone back to work waiting until the baby was here to get off so she was alone. Jay hated it but at least Will had been around and she was ok.

Jay laid his hands on her belly and rubbed softly. "He's really coming huh?"

"Yea he is," she smiled.

Jay kissed her hard. He watched the monitors and saw everything was stable and she was just barely contracting.

"How far to go?" he asked her.

"I'm at four," she said rubbing his cheek. "My water still hasn't broken," she sighed.

"If you want to speed it along I can offer suggestions," Will chuckled from the doorway.

"What?" Jay asked him rubbing her belly.

"Well… they say walking helps, the exercise ball, or….. there's always sex," he laughed.

Lauren's face turned red and Jay threw a cup at his brother. "You're ridiculous get outta here," Jay laughed.

He could hear Will laughing heading down the hall. He turned back to his wife and softly rubbed her cheek. "I mean…. We could always try those," he shrugged.

"Jay…." She said incredulously.

"What?" he asked.

"We cannot have sex in the hospital," she said rolling her eyes.

"I meant his other suggestions," Jay laughed pulling her hair away from her face for her.

"Oh…." She said blushing even deeper.

He softly kissed her. "I mean we can always try," he smirked, "but we'll save the sex for later," he whispered.

Lauren nodded as he helped her up. They walked up and down the hallway, and even rolled around on the exercise ball. Nothing was working though and she was still staying at four.

Dr. Braden decided to break her water and move her along after five hours of no progress. She also gave her a Pitocin drip to increase her contractions. After about an hour Lauren was dying. The contractions were hard and came one right after the other without a break it seemed.

"Can't we do something else?" Jay asked after having enough of watching his wife in so much pain.

"We can take her in for a C-section if she doesn't progress."

Lauren adamantly shook her head no. She could have this baby and she would. Another few hours passed, and Jay was willing to do anything possible to get her out of this pain.

He cradled her face and rubbed her cheek. "Baby…. He's not coming and you're in agony. Let Dr. Braden get him here, please," Jay pleaded with her.

Lauren gazed into his tear filled blue eyes and finally nodded. She couldn't take any more and she knew Jay was suffering watching her.

"Let's get her prepped," Dr. Braden said as they wheeled her out. Will took Jay to get gowned up to go with her. He could tell Jay was scared and nervous.

"It's gonna be ok little brother. C-sections are routine and little man will be here much faster."

Jay just nodded. He just wanted them both ok. After a few minutes a nurse came and got him taking him into the OR where Lauren was. She was crying softly when he sat down by her.

He leaned over and wiped her tears softly kissing her cheek. "It's gonna be ok baby. He'll be ok," he whispered to her.

Lauren just watched him a few more tears leaking out. She just wanted him to hold her and make it all better. She wanted their baby to be safe and in her arms.

Jay rested his cheek on hers as they waited listening to the doctors and nurses talk. In just a few minutes he heard their baby cry as Dr. Braden held him up for them to see.

He was a big baby and he was so beautiful. Lauren cried hard seeing him. He was here; her little boy was finally here. They let Jay cut the cord and Lauren told him to go over with him while they cleaned him up and measured him.

Lauren watched Jay snapping pictures. Her baby was ok she thought, tears silently rolling down her cheeks. Things slowly started getting hazy and fuzzy and then it went dark.

Jay heard commotion as monitors beeped and alarms sounded. He turned back and Lauren's eyes were closed and the nurses and doctors were yelling things he couldn't understand. He thought he yelled her name but a nurse put the baby in his arms and shoved him out.

He tried getting back in but they locked the door keeping him out. Will was waiting and saw what was happening. He rushed to his brother.

"Jay… buddy come on. It's ok. I'm sure it's ok. Come sit. Show me the baby," he said guiding Jay to a chair. His brother was sobbing wanting to get back to his wife and Will totally understood but he had to keep him out here.

The baby started crying picking up on Jay's distress. "Jay… buddy come on. It's ok. It's gonna be ok. Help me with Jayson," Will said rubbing the babies cheek.

Jay glanced down at his son who was crying now. Jay pulled him up and snuggled him. "It's ok buddy," he cooed softly.

Once Jay calmed some, Jayson calmed too. "I'll be right back. Don't move," Will said going to find out what the hell was going on with his sister in law.

Jay sat there holding Jayson praying Lauren was ok. He couldn't do this without her. It just wasn't possible.

The nurse came out and put the bracelets on them both. She told him his baby was beautiful and Jay just nodded his thanks watching for Will.

He saw him coming back and Jay held his breath. Will knelt in front of him putting his hand on his knee.

"Will…" Jay whispered as his tears fell again.

"She's gonna be ok buddy. They nicked a vein when they opened her up and didn't know it. They've got the bleeding stopped and they're sewing her up. They'll move her to recovery and give her some blood. Then she'll be in a room. It's gonna be ok," Will said wiping Jay's tears.

"I gotta see her," Jay said.

"I know buddy. Soon I promise. Why don't we take little man down to the nursery and get all his weight and stuff. She gonna nurse again?"

Jay nodded wiping his eyes as Will helped him up.

"Ok I thought so. If he starts fussing before we can see her we'll give him a bottle; Nat brought one of Lauren's over before going back to stay with Mouse and the kids."

Jay nodded following Will. He just wanted to see his wife. They did Jayson's feet prints and wrote everything down on the birth certificate. Jay watched with Will.

The nurse brought him back to Jay and told him that Jayson was healthy. They'd bring his bed in once Lauren got settled in a room. Jay thanked them and they went out.

Kelly and Shay had showed up after Will called and told them what had happened and Jay let them see the baby as he paced waiting to see Lauren. It wasn't long and Dr. Braden appeared.

"How is she?" Jay asked immediately seeing her.

"She's fine Jay. The bleed was stopped and she's resting. The blood will have run through by the time we get in her room. Besides being sore she should heal just fine," Alex smiled.

"I wanna see her," Jay said.

"Give us about fifteen minutes and you can."

Jay nodded. He turned back to them and let out a huge sigh of relief. She was gonna be ok he told himself. Will shoved him in a chair while they waited.

In fifteen minutes a nurse came and took them to her room. Jay rushed to her side immediately. She was still asleep. He sat on the bed and held her hand just watching her.

In just a few minutes Jayson started crying. He was hungry. Will went to get the bottle as Lauren stirred. She could hear him. Her baby needed her. She had to wake up. She fought through the darkness to get to him.

She winced as she stretched and slowly opened her eyes. Jay's beautiful tear filled blue ones met hers. "Jay?" she whispered reaching for him wincing again.

"Take it easy love. I'm here," he whispered easing her back on the bed and kissing her.

"I hate to interrupt but someone's hungry," Shay laughed bringing a screaming Jayson to them.

"Thanks," Lauren smiled as Jay laid him in her arms for the first time. He was so beautiful, a spitting image of his daddy. Her tears fell softly as she rubbed his cheek.

"Hey big boy. It's ok mommy's here," she cooed.

After snapping some pictures for them, Kelly and Shay went out to give them time with Jayson. They told Will she'd woke and he went to put the bottle back up.

Jay helped her move the gown. Jayson was pitching a good fit by then. Once he had Lauren situated, Jay helped her get him to latch on. He gently massaged her breast, knowing it helped last time. When Jayson realized if he sucked he got milk, he sucked away settling.

It never failed to amaze her how wonderful it was to feed their babies. Jay was staying right beside her, just needing to be close. She rubbed Jayson's cheek as he nursed.

"He's beautiful," she whispered to Jay.

Jay smiled and kissed her cheek. "He's nine pounds ten ounces and nineteen inches long."

"Goodness little man," Lauren whispered kissing his cheek.

Jay watched every move, keeping his hand on her arm. "What is it?" she whispered watching him.

Jay just shook his head watching Jayson drift off now that he was fed. "Jay?. Talk to me," she said laying Jayson on her chest to burp.

Lauren scooted over so Jay could get in bed with her. She was so damn sore. She laid her head on his shoulder. Jayson burped and snuggled on her sound asleep.

"Jay…. Baby… talk to me," she pleaded.

He was quiet for so long she didn't think he was going to say anything. "I…. I thought I was losing you," he whispered his tears falling again.

"What happened?" she whispered trying to get comfy. When she couldn't she looked at him and whispered "Will you hold me?"

Jay couldn't deny her. Not after what he… they… had just been through. He carefully picked her up and settled her between his legs laying her back on him. Lauren let out a content sigh finding a comfy spot in his arms with her baby asleep on her.

"They nicked a vein and didn't know it. I turned around to tell you about Jayson and you were out. They shoved me out and wouldn't tell me anything," he whispered being careful not to hold her too tight.

"Oh baby…. I'm so sorry," she whispered kissing his arms.

"It's not your fault love," he whispered kissing her cheek.

Lauren laid on him content and safe in his arms. Jayson was sound asleep on her. "Jay?" she whispered.

"Yea baby?"

"I'm never leaving, I promise."

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "I can't do this life without you," he whispered.

"You're not going to have to," she smiled up at him.

She looked so tired and exhausted but still beautiful. "Go to sleep love. I'm here," he whispered rubbing her cheek. Lauren smiled and closed her eyes. She was tired and she was in her favorite place to sleep.

It wasn't long and she was out too. Jay gazed down at his sleeping wife and new baby. It'd been scary few hours; the thoughts of losing her were too much. But she was safe in his arms now and their baby was safe and healthy. It was going to take some adjusting with three kids but he knew they could do it. They could do anything as long as they were together.


	62. Adjustments

****

Lauren and Jayson were discharged from the hospital two days later. She was still a little sore and couldn't be lifting anything until her checkup six weeks later, but she was ready to get home and introduce the twins to their baby brother.

Once she settled on the couch with Jayson in her arms, Jay went and got the twins from their room where they'd been playing with Mouse. The twins babbled, happy to see mommy was home, but Jayden did not like the fact she was holding a baby and he couldn't get in her lap. So Jay took Jayson and Lauren snuggled the twins for a bit. That night surprisingly went smooth; they did Jayla's inhaler and got the twins down while Jayson slept, and then Lauren fed him and settled him in the bassinet by their bed.

They didn't get much sleep that first week trying to get Jayson on a routine and the twins adjusted to having a new baby in the apartment, but they wouldn't change it for the world either. After that first week, Mouse went back to his own apartment but would still come over during the day and play with the twins. Lauren and Jay had discussed looking for a new house that would fit them better, but decided to wait until they had more money.

When Jayson was three weeks old, Jay went back to work and Mouse went with him having received his medical clearance. Lauren was mostly healed, and luckily Jayson slept a lot giving her plenty of time to entertain the twins during the day. The twins had finally come to love their brother after about a month, and the little family was finally adjusting. Lauren was relieved.

/

When Jayson was six weeks old, he and Lauren both had their checkups and we're cleared. Lauren finally got the family photo shoot she wanted as well. After their appointments, they drove up to the cabin where the photographer was meeting them, and they were going to stay for a week.

They got everything situated in the cabin and the twins wanted to go out and play. They let them play for a few minutes before getting them ready. The photographer arrived and Lauren was so thankful it was a beautiful day. They did family shots on the dock and around the cabin. Her favorite family one had to be them sitting on the dock with the lake behind them. She and Jay were sitting side by side with Jayden in her lap, Jayla in his, and Jayson in between them, both of them holding him. Then they did individual pictures of all three kids before doing pictures of Lauren and the kids and Jay and the kids.

Jay and the kids were her favorites especially when he took his shirt off and had the kids laying on him. She could never get enough of her man with their babies. Finally the twins had had enough of pictures and we're getting cranky. Jayson was hungry so she took them in.

She fed Jayson while the twins played and then put him down. She then fed the twins and got them down for naps too, turning on all the monitors. She thought for sure Jay would've joined her to help, but when he hadn't she went looking for him.

She found him on the back porch with the photographer. He saw her and smiled walking up to her with one of her sheer, almost see through, dresses she'd worn when he'd snapped a few pictures of her during her pregnancies.

"What are you up to?" she grinned up at him.

"Well... I just thought you might like some pictures of just us. Ya know since we haven't had pictures of just us not even for our wedding."

"Jay Halstead you read my mind," she giggled leaning up and kissing him.

She went to change and so did he. She put on the dress and he put on the tight jeans that she liked with a skin tight black tee.

"Damn baby," she whispered running her fingers down his chest and abs.

He softly kissed her cheek before whispering in her ear. "You got the all clear today."

Lauren let out a soft moan knowing despite their new level of tiredness with having three kids under the age of two, they'd both been dying for each other during this six weeks.

"Pictures first," he smirked taking her hand as they went to the back porch where the photographer had set up. Jay wanted pictures of just her and she wanted pictures of just him to start.

Lauren loved all the poses they did for him. It just highlighted his sexiness and drove her crazy. One of her favorites was definitely him propped up on the cabin wall with one foot on the wall, hands behind him, staring at her. The look on his face said it all and she couldn't wait for time with just them. Luckily the photographer had caught a picture of her look back at him without her knowing it.

Jay's favorite picture of just her would be when she faced the railing like she was going to look out at the lake but looked back over her shoulder at him smiling her smile only he ever saw. The light had caught her just right giving her this soft glow and making her dress virtually see through. Her beauty and sexiness always took his breath away and he could never get enough.

Then they got to pictures of just them. The love and fire for each other reflected in their eyes and had to be some of the sexiest pictures ever. Lauren could not wait to get them back and get them framed.

Probably her favorite of just them would be when Jay stood, back against the wall, legs spread, hands behind his back with her in front of him facing him. The look between them was electric and Lauren knew they both felt it. Then he'd wrapped his hands around her pulling her closer and kissing her deep and the photographer captured every moment.

Then when he'd put her on his back with her head on his shoulder whispering in his ear would be another favorite. Their love for each other was definitely well captured.

/

After the photographer left and they changed back into comfy clothes, the twins woke and so did Jayson. Lauren fed him again before putting him in his swing to play, while Jay played with the kids. It was a very warm August day, and the twins kept wanting to go swim, so Jay took them. They put them in their life jackets, and Lauren carried Jayson down to the dock to watch them.

Jay jumped in and then Jayden jumped off the dock to him, Jayla not far behind. The twins were essentially fearless, Jayden more so than Jayla, but after she watched Jayden do something, she'd do it too. Lauren sat on the dock with Jayson while Jay swam with the kids. They loved being in the water with daddy.

After a bit they got out and went back to the cabin. Jay took the twins to bathe with him and Lauren put Jayson in his swing while she started supper. She could hear the twins giggling and laughing and she smiled. They loved their daddy and she was glad he had a few more days they could use for this mini getaway.

She was staring out the back doors toward the lake waiting on the chicken casserole to finish when she felt his arms around her.

"Whatcha thinking beautiful?" he whispered before softly kissing her neck.

Lauren smiled sinking back into his embrace. "It's nothing," she whispered.

"Lauren…"

"No really it's nothing. Suppers done," she said snaking free and going to finish up supper. They each fed one of the twins before eating themselves. He'd get her to tell him later.

/

Bedtime went smoothly, the twins essentially worn out from their busy day, and Jayson was always a good sleeper. Lauren was glad just to get in bed with Jay and relax.

When she went into their room, she found candles lit and the room dark. "Oh Jay," she whispered taking it in.

He snuck up behind her holding her close. "Just me and you tonight," he whispered reminding her they'd actually put Jayson in his own room tonight.

She sank into his embrace with a smile as he kissed up and down her neck. He slowly stripped her as he kept kissing, the soft moans and biting of her lip letting him know just how much she enjoyed it. They slowly fell on the bed as he continued worshipping her body with kisses.

Just when she thought she couldn't take any more of the slow fire he was building he slowly sank into her and she came undone moaning his name. He held still letting her ride it out as he watched the beauty of it all.

Once she'd come down some he started to move as he sucked and kissed on her. Her nails scrapped up and down his back and into his hair as he slowly moved in and out of her making love to her.

"Jay please… please oh please," she begged, her head tossing as she tugged at his hair.

He wrapped her around him tighter as he went as deep as possible. She arched into him meeting his thrusts as she screamed his name tipping over again. Jay followed her moaning and panting as their orgasms took his breath.

Once they'd come down and caught their breaths he slowly eased out of her and went to clean up causing her to whimper in protest. Jay smiled as he discarded the condom and went back to her. "I'm here beautiful. Never leaving," he whispered pulling her close.

"I love you so much," she whispered holding him tight.

"I love you too Lauren. Nothing could change that." He softly kissed her forehead and rubbed her back. "What were you thinking earlier?" he whispered into her hair.

He felt her still before she relaxed again. "Lauren you can tell me anything you know," he said pulling back to look into her eyes.

"I know. I was just… I was just thinking. I wish…. I wish we could live here," she whispered breaking his gaze.

Jay smiled and softly kissed her forehead. "We can if that's what you want baby. That was always our plan at some point and it has enough bedrooms."

Lauren nodded biting her lip. "But you love your job and we need the money and insurance so….. just forget I said it," she smiled snuggling back close.

"We'll live here one day," he whispered holding her close knowing he'd do anything to make her dreams come true. It wasn't long and she was sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference on the poses for Jay refer to the black and white sneak peek pics of Jesse's newest photo shoot. Their on my tumblr.


	63. Jay Undercover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For reference to the picture described in the beginning, see Jesse's Instagram picture where he is laying on the bag (I think it's a bag) scanner at the airport when they were filming 3x01, his undercover story. I hated the ending of that episode…. It was not believable in the least so I'm writing my own version of it for this story. While Jay goes undercover and its similar to the show always remember this is AU.

It was the beginning of September and things had been going well for the family of five. They'd settled into a fairly good routine after their mini stay at the cabin, and Lauren was adjusted to having three kids all day. While it was exhausting at times, she loved her babies and loved getting to watch them grow, change and learn new things every day.

She was curled up on the couch around nine nursing Jayson when she got a new picture message from Jay. He would sometimes randomly send her a picture in the hopes she'd send one back. He especially loved it if she sent one of her and the kids or one he knew he couldn't show anybody.

Lauren smiled as she opened it. Jay was at the airport in slacks and a button up. She was positive he had not worn that to work, so she knew he'd changed. He was laying on the bag scanner with his hands up giving the camera a straight stare. He'd kept the beard still and Lauren could tell the picture was just for her as she looked it over close. Damn if he didn't look hot as hell.

The message with it said he was going undercover for a simple op and he couldn't wait to see her later tonight. Lauren smiled. She gently pulled Jayson's blanket back a little and snapped a picture of him nursing. She sent it to him with the message that he looked really sexy and she couldn't wait for him to be home either. She sent a wink face with it so he'd know she got his meaning.

She didn't get a reply so she figured they'd taken his phone to begin the op. She prayed he'd be safe. She went about the day normal, plying with the twins and fixing lunch. Right after she got them fed, she heard a key in the door. She went to greet Jay, but was instead greeted with Mouse.

"Hey Mouse, what's up?" she asked finding it unusual for him to be here in the middle of the day.

"Uh… Well… sit down," he said nodding towards the couch.

"Mouse? What's wrong?" she asked sitting down.

Before he could answer Jayla toddled up having heard Mouse. "Moooowwww," she squealed holding her arms up to him.

"Hey Princess," he said picking her up and kissing her cheek. Jayla babbled away as Lauren sat nervously waiting. "Go play with brother princess so I can talk to mommy a sec," Mouse said sitting her down.

Jayla toddled over to where Jayden was playing with some blocks and started to play with him.

"Mouse? What is it?" Lauren asked nervously.

Mouse knelt down in front of her and Lauren bit her lip waiting. "Jay… Jay was undercover today."

"I know he text me. Said it was a simple op and he'd see me tonight."

Mouse nodded not meeting her eyes. "It was a simple op, but something went wrong. Jay's been kidnapped Lauren."

She sat there frozen letting his words sink in. Jay was gone. He'd been taken by whoever they were trying to bust. They made him and took him.

"Lauren… Lauren look at me," Mouse said squeezing her hands.

She finally sucked in a breath and met his eyes. The tears broke looking at him. "We are going to get him back I swear. Jay is coming home."

Lauren couldn't answer him. She just sat there feeling her world collapsing.

"I'm going to call Kelly and Shay get them over here with you ok? Will and Natalie are at work. I called already so they know."

"I'm going with you," she said, but he prevented her from getting up.

"Lauren there's nothing you can do at the district. Stay here with the kids and I promise I'll keep you updated."

"Mouse…. He's….. he's gone," she said letting the tears fall.

"I know…. I know but we're gonna get him back. Kelly and Shay should be on their way. I need to get back and help look. I promise you, Jay is coming home."

Just then Jayson started fussing and the twins toddled over to his pack in play in the living room. Lauren got up and carefully got him. "I'll keep you posted," Mouse promised as he headed out.

Lauren sat down on the couch holding Jayson and pulling the twins close. It was almost their nap time but she couldn't put them down.

What if they couldn't get Jay back? This morning would be the last time they saw him. Her kids would grow up without a father. She couldn't do it. She couldn't be a single mom. She needed Jay.

/

Mouse got back to the district just as Platt was informing Antonio that a video had been sent to them.

"Mouse, pull it up," Antonio said handing him the disk. Mouse took a deep breath and nodded putting it in his computer. He prepared himself for whatever he was about to see. What he saw was nothing like anything he could've prepared for. He heard collective gasps from the guys, but he didn't make a sound. He watched as his best friend was beat and tased; Jay doing nothing but grunting and moaning here and there. "He won't give up anything. He's trained for this," Mouse said quietly.

Before the guys could respond, a burn phone that Antonio held rang. He answered and was given the demands. He had seven hours to give up his CI files or they'd never see Jay again.

"Mouse make the fake files and start finding anything that might lead us to Halstead," Antonio said going into his office. They all got busy doing what they could.

Around eight that night Lauren showed up at the district alone. Platt buzzed her up and Adam saw her first. He walked over and gave her a hug before Kevin, Tony, Burgess and Roman did the same. Adam took her in the break room and settled her on the couch.

"Where's the kids sweetie?" he asked seeing she didn't have them.

"With Kelly and Shay. They're all asleep and I couldn't sit there any longer. I need to do something," she cried.

He nodded giving her hand a squeeze. He couldn't imagine what she was going through knowing her husband and best friend was missing. "Come on let's go see Mouse," Adam said helping her up. He'd snuck off to his old office downstairs to work saying he needed the quiet. They'd left him be for the most part checking on him occasionally.

"Mouse…. Visitor," Adam called out in case Mouse had the video up. He heard Mouse get up and meet them.

Lauren was crying and Mouse wrapped his arms around her. "Kids are with Kelly," Adam said before going back upstairs. Mouse calmed her down and settled her in a chair by his desk.

"I couldn't sit at home any longer. I need to find him," she whispered.

Mouse just nodded rubbing her back. "I promise honey were gonna find him."

"I know…. I just…. It's been almost twelve hours since I've heard from him," she sobbed.

"I know," he whispered. "At eight in the morning we're supposed to exchange CI files for Jay. I swear on my life Lauren we're getting him back. Just trust me ok?"

She nodded as she sniffed and the tears fell. "Where…. Where's the clothes he wore this morning?" she finally asked.

"In his locker," Mouse said helping her up. He took her to the locker room and unlocked Jay's, thankful he knew the code.

She carefully reached in and pulled out his long sleeve shirt he'd worn that morning. She held it up to her face and breathed in his smell letting more tears fall. She missed her husband. She needed him. Her kids needed him. She cried and cried just holding on to it. Mouse finally wrapped his arm around her and took her back to his office.

He settled her in the chair as she held tight to Jay's shirt. Once she calmed down some more she slipped it on just needing to feel close to him. Mouse gave her a small smile and settled back into his chair at his desk. He got back to digging on the guys they were after looking for any kind of clue as to where they were keeping Jay based on the video they'd sent.

Antonio came down to check on them after an hour. Lauren was curled up in the chair asleep. She'd cried herself to sleep in Jay's shirt. Mouse was still hard at work having not taken a break.

"Think she'd be more comfortable upstairs on the couch?" Antonio asked quietly.

"Probably, but I was too afraid to move her and risk waking her," Mouse sighed.

"I understand," Antonio said giving his shoulder a squeeze .

"Files are ready to go. Let me make the drop Tony."

"Mouse you know I can't do that."

"I don't care what I have to sign or do. Let me make the drop. Let me bring him home," Mouse pleaded.

"Let me go make some phone calls," Antonio sighed knowing Mouse wouldn't let up.

Mouse just nodded and kept digging on their suspects. Lauren slept, fitfully, but she still slept and Mouse was thankful. They were approaching the one hour marker on making the drop. Mouse called Will and asked him to come get Lauren. He didn't need her knowing what was fixing to go down, and he knew Jay would be taken straight to Med.

He gently woke her after he called him.

"What's wrong?" she asked jerking awake.

"Nothing sweetie. Will and Nat are coming to get you and take you to Med to wait. We're going to make the drop."

"Why aren't you taking me?" she asked rubbing her eyes and stretching.

"I'm needed here," he lied.

Lauren was too far out of it to pick up on it though and just nodded her head.

"I'll meet you at Med once it's over." Again she just nodded.

She went with Will and Nat to Med to wait. Mrs. Goodwin offered them her office so they could wait comfortably without having to be subjected to other patients. Lauren was thankful. Kelly and Shay brought the kids to see her and so she could feed Jayson. The twins didn't want to leave when Kelly said, but Lauren promised them she'd be home soon. The waiting was the worst. She just wanted to see Jay.

/

With Platt's approval to the Commander, Mouse was able to make the drop. When he saw Jay he rushed to him, intent on getting him out of there and to some help. Of course they made them wait to verify the files, but Mouse knew the team would be there any second following his GPS signal. He quickly assessed Jay's injuries as if they were in a war zone. "Lauren?" Jay whispered his voice rough.

Mouse just nodded his head letting him know she was ok. "We're getting out of here don't you worry man," Mouse said. He was helping hold Jay upright, untying his hands.

Just as they came back informing the boss of the fake files, Mouse heard the team yelling CPD. Jay leaned on him heavily as the two guys turned guns on them. "Trust me," Mouse whispered feeling Jay nod against his shoulder. He knew this was gonna hurt, but he had to do it to get Jay home.

He shoved Jay hard knocking him to the ground which knocked the breath from him as pain radiated everywhere. Mouse couldn't chance Jay taking a bullet so he had to get him down. He turned on the guys, flinging the knife he'd snuck in at one, ducking so he'd miss the bullet flying at him. His aim was still perfect as he glanced up seeing the one fall as the knife protruded from his neck.

He hit the ground knowing the other would have to change tactics now. He could still hear the team and knew any second they'd be there, but he had to survive until then. He slowly army crawled across the floor keeping his eyes on the feet moving around the room. He was talking but Mouse wasn't listening. He was focused on getting them out of there.

He grabbed the dead guys gun; he doubled checked there wasn't a pulse. He watched as the boss picked Jay up, using him as a human shield. Luckily Jay was passed out from the pain and didn't have a clue. The guy was trying to negotiate, knowing Mouse wouldn't shoot Jay. Too bad the guy didn't know who he was messing with. He kept Jay in his line of sight as he lined up the shot. The guys lips were still moving, but Mouse couldn't hear him.

He took a deep breath, heard the door open, watched the guy turn and aim his gun at the team, and Mouse fired. He watched as the guy fell, Jay falling with him. Antonio and Kevin rushed to Jay, Burgess and Roman clearing the room, Adam kneeling beside him.

"Mouse? Mouse? Come on man, you hit? Breathe," he heard Adam talking as he felt hands running over him looking for injuries.

He took a deep breath, almost gasping for air, which relieved Adam as he held Mouse upright.

Adam helped him up, leaving him with Kim as he rushed over to help Antonio, Kevin, and Sean carry Jay out to the ambulance. Mouse was in shock as he looked around the room. Two guys dead, but Jay was saved. He slowly came back to himself and rushed outside to the ambulance as they strapped Jay in.

"Will," Mouse whispered and Adam nodded pulling out his cell phone to call.

"Come on. Let's get you to the station to get that paperwork done so you can get to the hospital," Antonio said steering Mouse to his truck. They watched as the ambulance raced off and they headed back to the district.

/

Will hung up and turned to his sister in law. "Jay's on his way," he said squeezing her shoulder gently. "I'm going down to the ER and I'll be back." Lauren just nodded desperate to see him but knowing she probably couldn't.

Natalie jumped up and grabbed Will's arm. "There not going to let you work on him," she said quietly.

"I know. I just need to see him. Stay with her."

Natalie nodded and hugged him tight before he left.

When Maggie saw Will heading for the ambulance bay to wait, she followed him out. "Will, you know you can't. Plus you're off the clock."

"I know. I just need to see him Maggie, please."

"Ok," she said patting his shoulder. "Conner's waiting and ready. He'll be ok."

Will just nodded as the ambulance came pulling in. He jerked the doors open and reached for the foot of the stretcher as Brett started rattling off vitals and info to Maggie and Conner.

Adam jumped out of the ambulance having rode with him and Will just gave him a nod. He reached up and brushed Jay's hair off his forehead as he ran alongside the stretcher.

He felt Maggie's hand on his arm to stop him from going in the exam room and he sighed before leaning down by Jay's ear. "Don't you give up little brother. You'll be ok," he said before letting go and giving Conner a nod.

"Waiting room is cleared for yall and the team," Maggie told Will as Adam stood by him watching.

"Thanks Mags," Will said before leading Adam to it and going to get Nat and Lauren.

/

After about twenty minutes in the waiting room, Maggie came in and told them Conner was taking Jay to surgery because his scans showed internal bleeding, and that she would keep them posted. Natalie thanked her as Lauren tried to hold in her tears.

"Where's Mouse? And the team?" she asked seeing only Adam and knowing Mouse would wanna be there just like the others.

"He's…. He's helping finish up paperwork. He'll be here soon," Adam said giving her shoulder a squeeze.

Lauren just nodded and stared off into space again, praying Jay would be ok.

/

After what felt like hours of paperwork and giving his statement, the Commander finally released Mouse. He was cleared on the deaths; both ruled self-defense. He shut everything down and changed clothes. He grabbed Jay's bag and headed for the hospital.

He hadn't been able to contact anyone while giving statements and doing paperwork so he had no clue on Jay's condition. He needed to know how his best friend was, so he took off rushing for Med.


	64. Jay Recovers

Lauren had been sitting in the waiting room for what felt like hours. Will paced back and forth and Natalie sat in the chair beside her. She just wanted to see him; she just wanted to know that he was really ok and really there. She was staring off into space, lost in her thoughts. The sound of Will's voice startled her and she jumped a little.

She watched as he stormed out and she turned to Nat. "It's ok," Nat whispered rubbing her back. "He's just going to see if he can find out anything."

Lauren just nodded getting lost in thought again. She was thinking about all their good times and their babies. She wanted, no needed, him to be ok. She couldn't be a single mom to three kids. Her babies needed their daddy, and she needed him too. She wiped at her eyes for what felt like the millionth time in the last twenty-four hours.

In just a few minutes Will returned. "Conner should be out soon." Lauren just nodded at him getting lost in thought once more. Mouse came rushing in having finally finished his paperwork at the district.

"How is he? Where is he?" he asked kneeling in front of her.

"Surgery," Lauren whispered as he wrapped his arms around in her in a hug. Mouse looked up at Will for clarification.

"He had some internal bleeding when he got here," Will said. Mouse nodded rubbing Lauren's back.

"He'll be ok. He's a fighter. He's not going to leave you or the kids. I know it," he whispered to her.

Lauren slowly let go as she nodded. She knew what Mouse was saying was the truth, but she also hadn't seen Jay in over twenty-four hours. From the time he'd been taken, it'd taken the team twenty-two hours to find him. He'd been in surgery for just at an hour and half now. All she wanted to do was see him and hug him and kiss him.

She started to get up to go get some fresh air when she saw Conner walking towards them. They all jumped up and greeted him, the rest of the team having joined them when Mouse did. "He's going to be fine," Conner started and they all let out a collective sigh. "His spleen was ruptured and he had some internal bleeding. I removed his spleen and stopped the bleeding. He's got two broken ribs and five that are fractured. He has ten stitches in his head, and a really bad black eye. His chest and stomach are covered with bruises and burn marks from the Taser. He's going to need a lot of rest to heal, but he will be ok."

"When can I see him?" Lauren asked anxiously.

"As soon as he's in a room. Should be in the next ten to fifteen minutes. I'll have April or Maggie come get you," Conner said. He turned to go and Will followed him out expressing their thanks for saving Jay.

Lauren sank into the chair as she waited some more. "He'll be ok," Mouse said sitting beside her.

Lauren nodded as Conner's words replayed all his injuries in her head. Mouse squeezed her hand. "Lauren he will be ok. He's going to be fine and he's gonna be here with you and the babies for many more years to come."

"I know," she whispered not meeting his eyes.

"Hey, why don't you call Kelly and Shay and tell them the good news. Plus you can talk to the kids."

Lauren nodded knowing she needed to get it together before she saw Jay. She got her phone out and FaceTimed them. Kelly answered immediately relieved to see her face.

"How is he?" he asked.

"He's gonna be ok. I can see him in about fifteen," she said sniffing a little.

"Good. And you Little Bit?"

She nodded at him biting her bottom lip. "I'm good Kel," she whispered.

"Don't lie to me," he said wishing he could hug her.

"I am. I will be, I promise. I just wanted to check in on the kids and see them a minute."

Kelly just nodded realizing she was trying to hold it together. He yelled for Shay to bring the baby as he rounded up the twins. They'd been happily playing until he told them mama was on the phone and they both wanted his phone. Lauren smiled her first smile in twenty-seven hours.

"Hey babies," she cooed as Kelly settled the twins on his lap. They could be rowdy for one year olds, but they also had their sweet moments. They were both babbling to her and she was catching every few words.

"Oh really?" she laughed a little. "Mama misses you three. I'll be home soon," she said blowing them kisses.

"Uuuuuu mama," they both said trying to say I love you and blowing kisses back.

"Daddddyyyyy?" Jayla asked.

Lauren held in her sigh. "Yea baby girl. Daddy will be home soon too."

Kelly could tell his sister was wearing down hiding the truth from her kids. "Ok you two, tell mama bye."

They both fussed and complained until Kelly promised them ice cream. Lauren laughed; Uncle Kelly could offer them anything and they would jump on it. Lauren talked to Shay and Jayson for a few until she saw April. She told Shay she had to go but would call again soon. She hung up and followed April to Jay's room.

She paused outside the door to get it together. Natalie laid her hand on Lauren's back. "Just remember, he's ok," Nat said. Lauren nodded her head and finally pushed the door open. He looked like he was sleeping and Lauren couldn't stop the gasp that slipped from her lips.

Hearing Conner tell her about his injuries had not prepared her for what he really looked like. Her precious Jay was beat all over and it broke her heart. She sat down by the bed and held his hand. He had IV lines running in the back of his hand and she was careful not to disturb them. She softly kissed his palm. He was covered in bruises and bandages and she was so afraid to touch him. She didn't want to cause him anymore pain than he was already in.

"He's on a pain pump so when the pain is too much just hit this button," Natalie showed her.

Lauren nodded. "How long is he gonna have to stay?" she finally asked.

"I don't know sweetie. But they have to make sure he doesn't start bleeding again and that his incision doesn't get infected."

Lauren nodded. "Thanks Nat for staying. I know yall need to get home to Grace. I'll be ok here, I promise."

"Are you sure?" Nat asked hugging her.

"Yea, yea I'll be ok. I just wanna stay here with him."

Natalie nodded her understanding. "We'll be back in the morning ok? But if you need something before then don't hesitate to call. April's working night shift too so just ask her for anything ok?"

Lauren nodded. "I will. Go home and rest," she said as Nat hugged her again.

She went out to find Will. It was a fight to get him to leave his brother, but Maggie and April both promised to call if anything happened and Mouse promised to stay with Lauren. After a long twenty-seven hours they went home and hugged their baby girl before crashing.

/

Lauren sat by Jay's bed just watching him. She watched his chest rise and fall with each breath; she listened to the heart monitor beat out a steady beat. She sat there holding his hand just watching and listening until her body took over and she fell asleep sitting up in the chair. She hadn't slept much except that little bit at the district, and her body finally caved and took the sleep it desperately needed.

Mouse sat in the corner of the room just watching them both sleep lost in his head. After a few hours of watching them sleep, he decided to go get some coffee to wake.

Right after Mouse left, Jay woke with a groan. Everything hurt. There was honestly not a part of his body that didn't hurt. He realized he was in the hospital when he heard the monitor and felt all the wires running over his body. It was the last place he wanted to be. He wanted to be at home with his wife and babies. The whole time he was kidnapped that's all he could think about. He kept seeing Lauren's beautiful face, and the faces of his three babies. They still had so much life to live, he wasn't ready for it to be over. So he'd fought to stay alive and come back to them. That is where he wanted to be, not lying in the hospital bed.

Just as he went to move to get up, he felt it. Her hand was under his. He slowly looked around and saw her sleeping straight up. She'd fallen asleep holding his hand. She was really there. His beautiful Lauren was in front of him. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and the tear trails on her cheeks that had dried. He gently squeezed her hand. He wanted to see her beautiful green eyes and hold her close, but he was in so much damn pain.

Just the tiniest movement and her eyes shot open and she whispered his name. He smiled at her despite the pain he felt. "Hey, I'm here," he whispered and she started crying again. She didn't think she'd ever see those beautiful blue eyes or hear his voice again. She couldn't stop the sobs that escaped.

Jay tugged on her hand trying to pull her closer. "Come here Lauren," he said tugging as hard as he could.

She shook her head no as she sobbed.

"Lauren, baby, come here. Let me hold you," he pleaded hating seeing her upset.

She caved needing to feel his arms around her. She crawled in bed and he wrapped his arms around her. He held her as she cried and breathed his scent in. "I'm ok. I'm here. I'm ok," he whispered over and over as he rubbed her back.

Once she calmed some, she looked up at him and rubbed his cheek. "You're in pain," she whispered.

He shook his head to deny it. "Don't lie to me Jay," she said rubbing his cheek.

"Everything hurts," he whispered.

Lauren nodded and reached over pushing a button. "It won't in a minute," she said tenderly kissing his lips. He reached up and cradled her head kissing her deeper.

"Jay," she whispered as they pulled back.

"Pain meds," he sighed as if it was betrayal. He just wanted to soak in her beauty.

"You don't need to be in pain," she reasoned. "You have enough injuries and I won't watch you in pain," she said brushing his curls back.

"How bad?" he whispered settling back against the bed as the pain meds started to kick in.

"Ten stitches in the head, black eye, two broken ribs, five fractured, Taser burns and countless bruises as well as internal bleeding and ruptured spleen," she said quietly.

Jay let out a sigh. "Well…. Sounds like I'll be home with you and the kids for at least four weeks." He smiled at her. If nothing else he was going to get plenty of family time.

"Guess so," she said with a small smile. "Rest Jay. I'm not going anywhere."

"Stay," he said patting the bed beside him.

Lauren gave in and nodded. She laid down by him being extra careful not to hurt him anymore. He tucked her head into his neck and in just a few minutes he was asleep. Lauren let the sound of his heart beating and his steady breathing lull her into sleep. When Conner came in to check on them later that night that is how he found them. Both asleep in the hospital bed, and neither moved as he moved around the room. He didn't have the heart to wake her and make her move so he left them as they were. He'd be back in the morning to make his rounds.

/

The next morning when Conner made his rounds, Will was already in with Jay. "Morning," Conner greeted.

"Morning, Dr. Rhodes," Will returned.

"How are you detective?"

"I'd be even better if you'd explain to my brother that I will be fine going home."

"Sorry Jay, but I don't think I'll be able to do that just yet. We need to make sure you don't have any more internal bleeding or puncture a lung."

Jay let out a sigh as Lauren squeezed his hand in reassurance. "Look Doc, I will be fine. I just wanna go home, sleep in my own bed and see my kids. I have a brother and sister in law that are both trained medical professionals as well as a brother and sister in law both also trained in emergency medicine. I think I would be fine."

"Jay would you just shut up and do as the doctor asks? It's just a few nights and we can bring the kids here, besides I dunno that they really need to see you like this. They wouldn't understand," Will said.

"Will's right," Lauren whispered. "I already almost lost you, I'm not chancing you being at home and something happening. I'm not trained for this Jay. You need to stay where they can help you if an emergency comes up," she said getting up and pacing to the window staring out.

Jay looked between Will and Conner, "Give us a minute?" he mouthed and Will nodded.

Jay watched her staring out the window fighting her tears. "Hey, I'm right here," he said quietly. "Talk to me, Lauren."

She bit her lip and kept staring out the window at the city. "I can't do this Jay. I can't chance taking you home and something happening. I know you wanna go, I know you wanna see the kids. If I were in your place I'd want the same thing. But….. I can't lose you. I can't be a single mother to three," she whispered her tears falling.

"You're not going to be a single mother babe."

"You don't know that. You're job is dangerous! I mean look at you Jay, really look at your body. You could've died, you almost did. I can't lose you," she cried walking out of the room. She needed air and she couldn't let him see her break.

She ran past Will and Conner who both exchanged worried glances. Will let out a sigh, "I got it," he told Conner nodding for him to check Jay. He took off after Lauren and Maggie pointed him outside the ER when he'd lost sight of her. He found her sitting on the ground head on her knees and arms wrapped around her legs protectively as she sobbed.

Will sat down beside her but she didn't even register his presence. He sent Kelly a text telling him to get there stat. He wrapped his arm around her back. "It's ok Lauren. It's ok," he whispered rubbing her back as she sobbed.

It wasn't long and he saw Kelly. "What happened?" Kelly asked as she finally unfurled and flung herself at him.

"Jay wants to go home, she disagreed. We stepped out to give them a minute and then she rushed past sobbing. She hasn't said anything to me."

Kelly nodded as he softly rubbed her back. "It's ok Little Bit. Whatever it is, it's ok," he whispered.

"I can't lose him Kel," she cried holding on to him tight. Will and Kelly shared a look and a nod before Will disappeared back inside the hospital.

"You're not going to Sis, I promise," Kelly said holding her tight. He held her until she calmed down and took her to the café to get something to eat and talk.

/

"Where is she?" Jay asked for what seemed like the hundredth time since Will went back to his room.

"With Kelly for the hundredth time," Will sighed.

"Just let me out of here to find her," Jay growled.

"Not scared of your bark little brother."

"Damn it Will let me go home."

"Not happening Jay."

"Why not?"

Will finally put his phone up and acknowledge the conversation. He leaned over Jay real close. "You know why she ran out of here upset? You know how I found her?"

"No," Jay growled trying to push Will away but he couldn't.

"Because she's so afraid she's going to lose you and she can't handle it. She also didn't want you to see her having a breakdown because she thinks she has to be strong for you right now. So I would suggest you keep your ass in this hospital bed until Dr. Rhodes says it's safe for you to leave."

Jay kept quiet but nodded. The effort fighting with Will was draining him. "Go to sleep Jay. You'll feel better," Will said pushing the pain pump knowing Jay wouldn't do it.

"Traitor," Jay whispered making Will sigh as he settled back in the chair. He knew Jay didn't mean it, but he also felt like one because he knew what could happen. Once Jay was asleep he went to call Nat to check in.

/

Several hours later Lauren was still watching him sleep. Mouse had been by but couldn't stay long because of work. Will was out in the hospital so she was alone just watching him sleep. His body twitched; he moaned and twitched some more. "Jay? Wake up, please Jay," she said rubbing his cheek.

His hand grabbed hers and his eyes opened. They were wild. "Jay relax. You're safe. You're at Med and it's just me," Lauren whispered keeping her eyes on his. His body was sweating and he was panting for breath. She kept softly talking to him keeping her hand on his face. She watched as he slowly relaxed.

"Damn pain meds," he moaned his eyes finally meeting hers.

"Jay?" she questioned quietly.

"I can't handle pain meds after trauma. They mess with my head. Learned it after my second tour," he said quietly reaching up and cradling her face. "Please…. Get me home," he whispered.

Lauren sighed softly as he rubbed her cheek. She leaned into his hand as she debated. "We don't have a spare room anymore Jay. No one could stay with us and I'm not medically trained. I couldn't help you if something happened."

"If Will will agree to sleep on the couch until I'm cleared will you please take me home?"

"Your brother is not going to agree to sleeping on our couch when he has a perfectly good bed that he shares with his wife two floors above us," she laughed. "I love you, but I don't see it happening."

"If he agrees to it will you?" Jay pressed.

"Fine if you can get Will to agree to sleep on our couch, that I might add doesn't make out into a bed, then I will agree to take you home."

Jay smiled triumphantly and Lauren shook her head. "Keep dreaming babe," she whispered softly kissing him.

Will came back that night with supper and Lauren stepped out to let them talk. She waited out at the nurses' station knowing she should probably run home and see the kids before coming back to crash for the night. Just as she was going to tell the boys she'd be back, Will stuck his head out and told her to come in. Jay was sitting up on the side of the bed, obviously in pain, trying to pull on sweats.

"What are you doing?" she asked stopping his movements so he could catch his breath.

"Going home," he smiled up at her.

Lauren turned on Will "Are you serious right now?! You're really going to sleep on our couch until he's cleared?"

Will just nodded his head paging Conner.

"You are unbelievable! Why on earth are you doing this Will?"

Will let out a sigh and met her eyes, "Because I understand where he's coming from. I'd wanna be home with Nat and Gracie and not here. Besides hospitals bring back too many memories for him and he has bad reactions to pain meds."

Lauren stared at the two of them. "When he was shot, both times in the past, he did not have any reactions to the pain meds so cut the bullshit."

"You seriously haven't told her?!" Will asked giving Jay a look.

"Told me what?"

Jay let out a sigh and gave Will a look. "I'm going to get those discharge papers," he said leaving before it got awkward because his brother sometimes had a problem with communication.

"Jay?! What haven't you told me?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I never actually took pain meds the last two times I was shot."

"Yes, you did. I gave you the pills."

"They weren't actually pain pills. They were prescription strength ibuprofen. I can't take pain meds without having a reaction like this afternoon. Will never gives them unless it's just absolutely necessary. Conner convinced him it was because of the extent of my injuries. Please Lauren I'm begging. I just want to go home with you and the kids. Will promised to stay."

Lauren eventually nodded her agreement knowing she'd agreed to take him home if Will would stay. "What about the pain?" she asked quietly.

"I swore to be honest with him. If it goes above a seven, he gives me a pain shot immediately. Otherwise it's prescription ibuprofen."

"I feel like there is so much I don't know," she whispered busying herself with collecting things to take home so she didn't have to look him in the eye.

Jay reached out and grabbed her arm making himself wince at the pain. He finally tugged enough she looked at him. "I know. There's three and half years of my life you know nothing about, but that's gonna change I promise. You just have to trust me babe."

Lauren nodded wiping at her eyes. "I do trust you Jay."

Just then Will walked in with his discharge papers and meds. "Let's get you home."

Jay nodded and Lauren finished helping him dress. They headed home, both ready to see their kids.


	65. Cabin Life Recovery part 1

When Jay and Lauren got home, the twins were asleep. Kelly and Shay were so glad to see them at home, but Jay seriously looked like hell.

"Are you sure you don't want us to take the kids with us?" Kelly asked Lauren as they got ready to head out.

"No it'll be fine. I'll talk to them before they see him. I know they're only one but it'll be ok. I appreciate it though."

"Of course sis. Anything. Call if you need us," he said giving her another hug before leaving.

Lauren went to check on the kids while Will got Jay settled. Jayson was in his swing sleeping and the twins were out in their cribs. She placed a soft kiss on each of their heads before going to check on Jay.

Will had him settled in bed and he was asleep. The walking had worn his body out and he fell asleep almost as soon as he laid down.

"Thanks Will," Lauren said quietly.

"It's no problem honey. I've been thinking, maybe tomorrow if he's up to it, we should go to the cabin. It'd be a good get away for him to recover peacefully and I wouldn't have to sleep on the couch," he laughed.

Lauren smiled. "Yeah sounds good."

Will just nodded and went out to call Nat and give her some time with Jay. Lauren laid down by him and just watched his chest rise and fall with his breathing. She was glad he was home and safe and she just wanted him to get better. Maybe going to the cabin would be best.

/

She ended up falling asleep with him. She was so tired and exhausted she never even heard him wake in the night. Will gave him some more medicine and fed Jayson a bottle when he woke. The next morning Jay gently woke her up. Now she was the one in pain from needing to nurse.

She slightly groaned and Jay softly kissed her. "Go get our boy. Will fed him a bottle so he's probably getting hungry," he whispered with a smile.

"Oh shit. I slept all night," she said jerking up.

"Relax," he smiled softly rubbing her cheek. "Everything's fine. Nat brought Gracie down and they're eating with the twins but I'm pretty sure Jayson doesn't want another bottle," he laughed before gently cradling his ribs from the pain.

Lauren smiled shyly knowing how much Jay loved to watch her nurse. "I'll be back," she said going to get him.

The twins were eating and Natalie was giving Grace some cereal. Will was trying to give Jayson a bottle but he wasn't having it. "Here Will I've got him," Lauren said reaching for him.

"Oh hey," he smiled passing Jayson to her. He settled and started rooting at her full breasts.

"I'm gonna go nurse and then I'll come talk to the twins so Jay can see them," she said trying to settle Jayson.

Will nodded and she snuck back to the bedroom without the twins seeing her. Jay smiled big watching her with Jayson. She settled on the bed with him, moving her shirt and bra. She was hurting she was so full and was thankful her boy was hungry.

Jay reached over and rubbed Jayson's cheek as he latched on instantly sucking hard. Lauren held in her wince as Jay softly rubbed her breast trying to help.

"Thanks babe," she whispered brushing Jayson's curl back off his forehead.

"Of course," he smiled kissing her cheek. He watched Jayson nursing the whole time.

"We're gonna go to the cabin," Lauren smiled. "Will can at least have a bed and we thought it might help," she said.

"I like that idea," he smiled.

After Jayson nursed, Lauren packed some bags. She went out and talked with the twins next. She told them daddy had a lot of boo-boos and they would have to be really easy with him. She also said his face might be funny colors but that was some of the boo-boos.

Jayla just wanted to see her daddy so after they both seemed to listen, she took them into their room. "Daddddeee," she squealed running to the bed.

Jayson grunted at the noise still not used to his siblings loud squeals sometimes. Lauren smiled carefully picking Jayla and Jayden up. "Remember we have to be easy," she said as Jay wrapped his arms around them carefully.

The twins were so happy to see him they barely noticed his discolored skin and he was just as glad to see them. She finished packing while he spent time with the kids. Once she had everything ready she called Will and Nat to let them know they were ready.

They headed up to the cabin and once the kids were down for the nap, Jay asked Lauren to walk to the dock with him.

She agreed and wrapped her arm around his waist as they slowly walked down. He was still sore and she didn't want to hurt him any more than he already was. She helped him settle in one of the chairs before sitting next to him. He held her hand as he just gazed out over the water.

She could tell he was lost in thought. "Talk to me," she whispered letting her thumb drift back and forth on his hand.

"I wasn't ready to die," he said quietly squeezing her hand. "The whole time all I could think about was you and our kids. I just wanted to come home."

"I know," she said getting up and kneeling in front of his chair. "All I wanted was to find you. I just wanted you to come home."

He tried to lean forward to kiss her and winced it hurt so bad.

Lauren raised up and eased him back. "Just relax babe. I'm right here."

He cradled her face before pulling her to him and kissing her. He slowly pulled back needing air before he wanted making Lauren smile.

"Soon love. Just as soon as you're healed."

Jay smirked just a little but nodded knowing there was no way his body could handle the loving from her he so desperately craved.

He did gently squeeze her hips before easing her down on his lap despite her protest. "I just need you close. Please baby," he whispered in her ear.

"Jay… I don't want to hurt you anymore," she said trying to get up.

"If you'd sit still I'd be ok," he smiled.

Lauren just nodded and let him adjust her so he was comfortable.

"Remember how you said you wanted to live here?" he asked her after several minutes of comfortable silence.

"Yea," she whispered.

"That's what I always had in mind for us. Our plan remember?"

Lauren smiled thinking back to when they'd first met and the plan they'd made back then. "Yea baby I remember."

"What do you say we consider It? Really consider it?"

Lauren softly kissed his cheek. "You love your job and the city Jay."

"But I love you and our kids more."

She softly rubbed her fingers through his hair keeping him relaxed. "I know you do. I just don't want you making a decision right now that you'd regret later."

"Being with you is never regretful," he smiled softly kissing her.

"Let's just think on it," she whispered kissing his cheek.

/

They sat there gazing at the lake until the pain became unbearable for Jay. She slowly helped him back to the cabin and took some more pills despite Lauren thinking he needed a shot.

He slowly fell asleep and she heard the twins wake. She went to get them and kept them distracted downstairs in the play room while Jay slept. They wanted to see their daddy but Lauren found new toys they'd added from Christmas and kept them busy.

She'd nursed Jayson and was just deciding she needed to cook dinner when she heard Jay's desperate cries for her.

She went into their room and sat on the bed beside him. "Jay, baby wake up. I'm here," she said rubbing his cheeks gently.

He moaned and groaned calling out for her in tears. She cradled his face. "Jay. I'm here. Wake up. Look at me," she said a little louder.

His eyes jerked up and he was wheezing for air making his ribs burn. "Easy, easy Jay, I'm here," she said helping him sit up. "You're ok. You're safe," she said running her fingers through his hair.

Jay grabbed onto her like his life depended on it. "Hey. I'm here. You're ok. Just relax," she whispered.

Will had heard him and was watching from the doorway. Despite trusting Jay to tell him his pain levels, he also knew Jay had to manage the pain to keep from getting pneumonia. He walked over and gave him a shot knowing the prescription strength ibuprofen wasn't working. "Its not a full dose. Just to help you breathe. I don't want you getting pneumonia," Will said helping Lauren prop him up.

Jay just nodded not letting go of Lauren for anything. "Yell if you need something. We've got the kids," Will said quietly before going out.

Lauren thanked him as Jay gently settled her in his lap and rested his forehead against hers slowly breathing in her scent.

"It's ok Jay. I'm here," she whispered.

"Don't leave," he whispered.

"Never baby," she promised. They sat like that until he drifted off again.

Lauren stayed with him making sure he slept peacefully and he did. He woke about an hour later and told her he was hungry making her smile. She carefully helped him up and went to eat.

She nursed Jayson with a blanket over them as she and Jay ate. Afterwards she got the twins ready for bed. "Ok babies tell daddy night night," she told the twins after getting Jayson down.

"No no," Jayla said tearing up.

"Yes mam," Lauren said picking Jayden up.

"No my dadddeeee," Jayla cried.

Lauren let Jayden kiss Jay goodnight telling him she'd be back for Jayla in a minute.

Jay carefully picked Jayla up being careful of his ribs as Lauren put Jayden down.

"It's ok baby girl. Daddy will be here in the morning when you wake. You can't be telling mama no."

Jayla cried some more burying her face in Jay's neck.

"Oh I know. It's so hard," He slightly chuckled rubbing her back. "Daddy loves you Jayla Makay don't forget it," he whispered kissing her cheek.

"Me uuuuu daddeeee," she sniffed.

Jay smiled. "Night night baby see you in the morning," he said seeing Lauren walk back in. Jayla pitched a good fit when Lauren took her, but Lauren just rocked her and softly sang to her.

"Sleep tight daddy's girl," she whispered once Jayla gave it up and went to sleep.

When she walked back out, Will and Jay were outside and Lauren sighed softly. She just wanted him to open up to her. She wanted to help him.

"I know it's hard," Nat whispered giving her a hug.

"Yea it is," Lauren sighed wiping her eyes.

"Go out there with him. Tell him what you're feeling. He loves you so much. He will open up."

"Thanks Nat," Lauren smiled grabbing a quilt.

Will had built a fire in the fire pit because it was getting chilly. Fall was definitely in the air. He saw her come out and smiled. "Just call if you need help getting him in," he said kissing the top of her head as she passed.

She kissed Jay before settling in the lounge chair by him.

"Hey," he smiled seeing her.

"Hey," Lauren smiled lacing her fingers with his.

The silence of the night enveloped them as Lauren watched the moon reflecting on the lake.

"What is it?" Jay asked squeezing her hand knowing her tells when something was on her mind bugging her.

"I don't know how to help you," she finally whispered when he'd been thinking she wasn't going to talk.

"Being here helps the most baby. Just having you here with me."

"There's no where else I wanna be Jay. I love you. I love you more than life itself. I've always loved you. I never stopped. The day we met at Molly's was the day my life changed forever. Through everything I never stopped loving you."

Jay kissed the back of her hand. "I know it seems hard to believe but I never stopped loving you either. You were always on my mind. This place… it was my solace but I could only think about how perfect it was for us and how you'd love it. I never stopped loving you either."

"I know," she said kissing the back of his hand. The silence had enveloped them once more as the crickets chirped around the lake. "I still don't know how you and Will kept it quiet that you weren't taking pain meds," she said quietly.

She knew the direct approach would probably shut him down, but she wanted him to open up so bad. She wanted to know everything about the man she loved.

Jay was quiet for so long that Lauren just knew she wasn't going to learn any more tonight. But then his quiet rough voice broke through to her.

"It was after my second tour. I know I gave you the highlights when I first brought you here, but I glossed it over."

Lauren gave his hand a gentle squeeze letting him know she was there for whatever he wanted to share.

He wouldn't look at her. Didn't want to see her as he told of the awful things they'd done and had done to them. He took as deep a breath as he could with his ribs and continued.

"It was our second tour. I was a sniper, Mouse a communications specialists. We'd been together since training and it was the only comforts I had. Halfway through our tour, our unit was ambushed and one of my men was captured.

We came up with a plan to get him back. They'd tortured him. It was brutal," Jay whispered as a shudder ran through him.

Lauren scooted closer giving his hand a strong squeeze unsure if she should say anything fearing he'd quit talking.

"When we found him….. it was almost hopeless. Hollingsworth was so far gone…. He begged me to end it."

Lauren's quiet gasp echoed in the still night. Jay still wouldn't look at her.

"I couldn't do it. I went after the guys that had done this to him and Mouse….. mouse did as he asked to end the misery. When…. When we found the group, we tortured them back until we killed them."

Jay tugged his hand from hers. He didn't deserve her comfort right now as he ripped the scabs off freshly reminded wounds thanks to his own recent kidnapping and torture session. She reached for him anyways lacing her fingers tight with his.

"We were two weeks from coming home when the convoy was destroyed by the IED. Mouse and I were in the lead humvee. Ours triggered it setting off one under each vehicle. We barely escaped. I got Mouse to safety in a ditch. He hadn't been wearing his helmet and his head…. God it had this nasty gash and he was losing blood…. I tied…. I tied my shirt around his head trying to stop the blood as I went to save others. The fires…. The smoke…. The charred destroyed bodies…. It was a disaster. I got a few burns trying to pull men to safety but it was no use….. They were all gone. I almost lost Mouse too waiting on an evac team."

Lauren had silent tears streaming down her cheeks for the man she loved and the pain he'd endured.

"They evaced us to Germany. I under went surgery for a broken leg and was in ICU for the third degree burns. Mouse had a blood transfusion and twenty something stitches to his head. It was there they diagnosed us both with PTSD. The pain meds they gave me for my leg and burns, messed with my head worse making the dreams ten times as vivid and real. Once they changed my meds I wasn't as bad. Mouse though had it bad regardless of meds… mainly from the incident with Hollingsworth. They flew us state side admitting him to Jesse Brown VA Medical Center in Chicago to get treatment. They deemed me stable enough to function with out patient therapy and prescription strength ibuprofen. Germany had put what happened with pain meds in my file and flagged it for all doctors to see."

"When I got home, I found out mama had cancer and was on the verge of death. I pushed my issues aside and took care of her until she died. Will was still in New York and Patrick was no where around of course," he scoffed.

"After her funeral, Will returned to New York, we were barely speaking, and I decided I needed out of Chicago at Will's suggestion of a real vacation. I came to Tennessee before I found this place where I spent a month getting my head on straight. During my third week here, Mouse joined me having been released finally, and before we went home he suggested I join CPD. The rest, they say is history," he said finally giving her hand a squeeze so she'd look at him.

He reached over and softly wiped her tears away. "And all that time you were so sure I wasn't yours," she whispered holding in her sobs. This wasn't about her but she ached for him so bad.

Jay just barely nodded. She couldn't stand the distance between them any longer. She knelt in front of him holding both of his hands. "Thank you for telling me," she whispered kissing his palms.

"I don't want secrets," he whispered gently pulling her up.

She cradled his face and softly kissed him. "I love you Jay Matthew. Nothing could change how much I love you. Nothing you could tell me would change that love."

"I killed Lauren. I tortured people because they'd tortured my man."

Lauren silenced him with a kiss on his lips. "You did what you had to do to come home to me. War isn't pretty Jay. It's ugly, it's painful and you've lived with it too long. It doesn't change one bit how I see you or how much I love you. I (kiss) love (kiss) you (kiss). You're an amazing man, an amazing husband and an absolutely amazing father. I could never not love you. You stole my heart when I was almost eighteen and I'm never taking it back. I love you."

Jay cradled her face as a few tears slipped out. "I've always loved you Lauren. Always. When the convoy exploded all I could think was I was gonna die without telling you one more time I loved you. I hadn't emailed back in so long I wasn't sure you'd even wanna hear it but I wanted to tell you so bad. And then I never did because I let my pride get me…."

She silenced him with another kiss. "You tell me and show me enough now Jay. I know you love me."

"I do. I love you so much," he declared laying her hand over his heart. "It's yours forever."

Lauren smiled wiping their eyes as she softly kissed him again. "Come on love you're exhausted," she said gently helping him up.

That night he slept peacefully with her tucked beside him. It'd felt good to finally share it with her and while he still needed to tell her about his time at the cabin recovering, he'd felt a huge weight lifted and what he had shared. Nothing could change their love for one another, nothing. And with that comforting thought and her tucked beside him gave him the best sleep he'd has since the kidnapping.


	66. Cabin Life Recovery part 2

The next couple of weeks Jay took it easy and Lauren kept the kids occupied. They loved being at the cabin and loved all the attention from their parents and aunt and uncle. On the third week, Will and Nat decided to return to the city so they could go back to work. Will felt confident that Jay was on the mend and wouldn't face any complications.

Lauren was a little nervous, but she trusted them. His bruises were fading and his ribs were only slightly sore. She was just glad he was getting better.

Mouse came up to join them for that week. Jay was glad to be feeling better and able to do with the kids more despite having to take it easy still because of his ribs.

Saturday was Mouse's last day before returning to work and Jay asked him if he could keep the kids for a bit so Jay could take Lauren out. They hadn't had time for just them since his accident and once Mouse left, they would be on their own again. Mouse readily agreed glad to help his friend out.

Jay rented a sail boat for Saturday and at lunch had Lauren pack them a picnic for a surprise. Mouse shooed them out the door promising they would be fine and smiled when he saw Lauren's surprise over the sailboat.

"Well kiddos it looks like it's just us for a while," he said making Jayla and Jayden giggle and clap.

/

Jay and Lauren walked down to the dock where the boat was waiting. "Jay…. What's this?" she asked with a smile.

"A little me and you time," he smiled softly kissing her nose before helping her on to the boat.

Jay set the boat in motion and they sailed around the lake. It was a gorgeous day and Jay loved that even though it was turning to Autumn, it was still warm enough she could sun bathe.

He couldn't take his eyes off her as she laid on the boat in her bikini. She was definitely a goddess in his eyes. There was a slight breeze that caught the sails when they were in the middle of the lake so Jay took a break and stretched out beside her.

"What are you doing?" she smiled up at him.

"Enjoying the view of my sexy wife," he smiled kissing her.

"I dunno about sexy," she blushed reaching for her towel.

He jerked it away from her with a smile before leaning over her kissing her deeper. "I do. And you're very sexy," he whispered.

"Jay," she blushed deeper. "You're still supposed to be taking it easy."

"I am," he smiled. "Don't mean I can't kiss my wife and appreciate the view of her tanning."

Lauren giggled as she slipped her dress back on and sat up beside him. She knew her body was different after three kids and she highly doubted it was sexy. He one the other hand … His curls had grown out, his freckles were shinning and he was shirtless, reminding her of the picture she'd received three years ago. The picture that had helped her make the decision to come back to him.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered feeling her shiver at his breath on her neck. He had to smile at that knowing how much he effected her.

"This, you, reminded me of the picture I got of you three years ago. The one that brought me back to you."

"What picture?" Jay asked totally confused because three years ago they weren't even speaking.

Lauren smiled as she remembered. "I got an email three years ago from your email. I was so excited to get it because it'd been so long since we'd talked, and then it wasn't even from you. It was a picture of you on a boat shirtless, hat, glasses. And the caption said 'no matter what he still loves you.' It was only signed M so I have no idea who even sent it, but from that day on I planned on coming back to you. I saved enough money to come to Chicago without my mother's help, so it took two years and even then I was scared to death you wouldn't even see me. But I knew who ever sent it, sent it to me for a reason and I had to believe if nothing else you'd tell me we were over for good," she whispered the last part laying her head on his shoulder.

Jay softly rubbed her arm taking it in. He was trying to piece it together when it clicked. He let out a soft chuckle making her look at him funny.

"Mouse had to have sent you the picture," he chuckled. "Three years ago we were here. That was the week before we went back to the city and I joined the academy. We took a boat out one day and he finally asked me about you. He couldn't believe I'd just given up so easily because you'd been all I talked about. He called me every form of idiot for basing my belief that you'd moved on on things I'd seen instead of talking to you about it."

"Mouse has always been smart," she smiled kissing his lips.

Jay smiled. "Yea he has. We'll have to ask him about it when we get back. I can't believe he did that."

"I'm glad he did. It's been one of my favorite pictures and it gave me the courage to come back."

Jay held her close. "I'm glad it did," he whispered kissing her hard.

Lauren softly moaned into his kiss unable to stop it. She'd tried so hard and had done so good hiding her desires for him from him while he'd been hurt. She'd missed her time with him, since they'd only just gotten it back from when she'd had Jayson before he was hurt, and it was growing increasingly hard not to want him, especially with as good as he looked right now on the boat.

Jay picked her up settling her in his lap as they kissed. It took all her willpower and strength to put her hands on his chest and pull back panting for breath. "Jay…. your ribs," she whispered casting her eyes down from his intense blue eyes. She knew he wasn't totally healed and she had to stay in control.

He tipped her chin back up instantly not wanting to look away from her. "I'm fine. I promise," he whispered earnestly pushing her dark curls behind her ears.

"I can't hurt you," she said starting to move off him but he wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Then ride me and don't make me move at all," he said capturing her lips in an intense kiss.

Lauren couldn't stop her moans as she felt his dick twitching under her. "Jay," she moaned when they broke for air.

"Please baby. I've missed you," he said kissing around her face.

"God I've missed you too," she moaned nuzzling his neck. When she kissed up and bit his ear lobe he almost lost it. He pulled her sun dress off and went for the strings on her bikini while she whispered just how much she's missed him.

He helped her get his swim trunks off as he kissed on her newly exposed breasts. "God I've missed loving on you," he moaned as he kissed her nipples.

Lauren moaned tossing her head back. "Need you," she panted as he kissed her breasts all over.

Jay squeezed her hips hard as he sucked her nipple. Lauren tossed her head moaning as he slowly, oh so slowly eased her down on him.

"Jay…. I….oh god Jay," she moaned laying her head on his shoulder.

He held her tight as he panted at the feelings trying not to let his ribs ruin this. She ran her fingers through his hair giving him time.

"We'll take it slow," she promised kissing across the scars on his chest and his ribs. "Don't let me hurt you either. If it's too much tell me," she said not wanting to make it worse on him.

"Never too much," he promised sinking the rest of the way into her causing them both to moan.

Lauren bit her lip hard watching him. Jay used his thumb and pulled her lips loose causing her to moan as he kissed her. "God you're so sexy," he whispered.

"You are," she whispered as she slowly moved up and back down. His eyes rolled back in pleasure as her name left his lips. After weeks of pain, this was ecstasy at it's highest level.

"Jay," she breathed.

"God baby…. I'm good I promise," he panted as she moved again.

"Feel so good," she moaned taking all of him slowly.

He squeezed her hips as she moved unable to take his eyes off her or stop kissing her. "Lauren….. baby…. Please," he moaned as she kept slowly moving up and down.

"Slow," she panted into his ear as she squeezed him slowly sliding down.

"Don't want slow," he growled grabbing her hips and sliding her down faster.

Lauren's moan escaped before she could gain control and he was moving her faster.

"Jay…. Your….. ribs," she moaned as he kept moving her faster and harder.

"They're fine… just need you," he moaned as she kept squeezing him and rolled her hips like he loved.

He pulled her to him kissing him hard as she kept the pace he'd set. He got his oxygen from her as they kept kissing. She broke from him feeling her orgasm getting closer and she fought for control.

Jay grabbed her chin, palming her cheek like she loved, his signature face grab as she called it, making her look at him. "Let go," he growled almost sending her over.

She kept moving barely hanging on as he held her face not letting go. "Lauren," he growled as she squeezed and rolled her hips again.

She smiled at him before winking and breaking his hold. She kissed his neck and across his face before finding the sensitive spot on his ear and biting. "You'll come first Jay Matthew," she whispered biting his ear again as she rolled her hips.

She used his shoulders as leverage as she pushed up and down, squeezing and rolling him with each thrust. She was so close but managing to hold out. She licked around his ear kissing as she felt and heard him growl again. She found that sensitive spot on his ear as her hands traveled to his hair. "Come on Jay…. Come baby," she whispered.

He grabbed her face again staring into her eyes as she squeezed him tight their orgasms crashing at the same time. It was so intense from their weeks apart neither could breathe for a second as it rolled through them. Lauren caught her breath first moaning his name as she collapsed on him.

"Jay…. Jay… breathe," she panted softly rubbing his chest as he held her tight. She heard his sharp intake of air and smiled as she worked on slowing her breathing.

"You ok?" she panted gently touching his ribs as she felt him nod against her head. She tried to pull back to look at him but he held her tight not wanting to move. "I'm here. Not leaving," she whispered as she felt their heart beats slowing.

Jay held her tight laying his head in her shoulder nuzzling her neck as she nuzzled his chest. "God I love you," he finally managed to whisper making her smile.

"I love you too Jay Matthew."

"Always have always will," he whispered with her.

They sat like that for the longest before she slowly pulled off him and they redressed. Jay held her close though not wanting her far. He softly rubbed her back as he kissed her forehead.

"I've been thinking," he whispered causing her to look at him. "I go back next month for my physical, but no matter what they say, I wanna be done. You and the kids are much more important than any job. I wanna move here, I wanna spend forever here with you. I wanna make our dreams come true."

Lauren felt the tears in her eyes. He was going to give up everything for her.

"Jay," she whispered as he wiped her eyes.

"I mean it. This last assignment was it for me. When I thought I wasn't going to make it back to you, I couldn't handle it. You and our kids are my everything Lauren Kathleen, and I don't want to nor do I want you having moments like we did a month ago not knowing if I was going to be there. I can retire early and find a job here in Silver Lake. The kids love it here; we love it here. This is home. This is where we belong."

She knew he'd really thought it out, and she couldn't agree with him more. The thoughts of losing him were too much to bear. This had always been their happy place and this is what they'd wanted.

"You're right," she smiled knowing she'd surprised him. He'd planned on having to do a little more convincing but he was happily surprised she'd agreed. "This was our plan all those years ago, and we have the chance to make it come true. I don't wanna go through another day not knowing if I'll ever see you again…. So… I think you're right. This is what we need."

Jay kissed her hard unable to stop. They were gonna make their dreams come true and she had no idea how happy that made him.

/

They sailed back in before supper, and the kids were happy to see them. They'd had a ton of fun with Uncle Mouse, but they'd missed mama and daddy too. They got them fed and down to bed before joining Mouse out on the porch. It was a nice night and they were enjoying it together.

Jay finally had to ask Mouse about the picture though. "So…. Sneaking pictures of me in emails huh?" he asked causing Lauren to giggle and Mouse to look at him like he'd finally gone crazy.

"Huh?" Mouse asked making Lauren laugh more.

"Three years ago? A boat day? Ring any bells?" Jay asked with a chuckle.

"Oooohhhh," Mouse said sheepishly even though they were both laughing now. "I guess you finally ****figured it out?" he asked Lauren and she nodded.

"Who knew 'M' would be such a vital part of my family?" she giggled. "But seriously Mouse I owe you a great big thank you. Because if you'd never sent me that picture, I doubt I would've come back and I would still be miserable and pinning for the only guy I've ever loved. So thank you for giving me the courage to come back to him."

"Yes thank you for seeing what a miserable excuse I was making and having my back," Jay said.

"Just wanted to see you happy again and every time you'd talk about her, you were always happy. I figured it was a long shot, but I'm glad it worked out," he smiled.

"Us too," they smiled. Thy enjoyed the night a little longer before Mouse went to bed and they went to their room for two more rounds of slow sweet love making.

The next morning Mouse returned to the city, and they stayed enjoying the rest of Jays medical furlough to finish recovering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So another chapter comes to an end. Sadly this story will be wrapping up soon. I only have a few more chapters planned. While that makes me tremendously sad, the story will wrap up full circle, and… I have a sequel planned already :) so while this is ending, it's not the end of the Halstead family I and several of you have fallen in love with. Leave me your thoughts and if there's anything in the sequel you'd like to see let me know!


	67. Unforseen Problems

The next week the family returns to the city. Jay had his physical and needed to talk to Antonio about his move. The whole last week at the cabin, Jayson was constantly fussy and wanting to nurse. Lauren hoped returning to their home would help him settle.

On Tuesday, Jay went for his check up. He'd healed rather nicely and while his ribs were still slightly tender they were healed. He was medically cleared for duty.

Wednesday, he went to talk to Antonio. He explained the situation and their desires to move. While disappointed to be losing one of his best detectives, Tony definitely understood wanting to be around for the kids. They worked on the paper work, figuring out how much leave he was still owed, retirement, etc.

While Jay was at the station, Lauren asked Kelly and Shay to keep the twins. Jayson was still constantly fussy and hungry and she was worried something was wrong. She took him in to see Nat.

"Hey cutie, what's the matter?" Nat cooed taking him from Lauren.

Lauren let out a soft sigh as Jayson grinned at his aunt. "I don't know Nat. I swear he wants to eat more than the twins ever did and it always seems like it's not enough."

"Well let's just check him out and see. How have you been feeling?"

"Good, besides tired from the constant feeding. It makes me sore."

Natalie nodded as she took Jayson's vitals and weighed him. She gave him a full check up while Lauren watched.

"Well he hasn't gained any weight since his last check up which is unusual so I would say he's not getting enough from you," Nat said gently. "It could be any number of reasons."

Lauren nodded and let out a sigh holding in her tears. "So what do I need to do?" she asked taking Jayson from Nat.

"Let's try him on formula. I know it's not ideal but we need to get him gaining and full when he eats. And since Jayden was allergic to formula we're going put Jayson on sensitive formula so hopefully it doesn't mess his stomach up."

Lauren nodded and kissed his forehead. "Thanks Nat," she said strapping him into his carrier.

"Of course sweetie. Call me if you have any problems," Nat said giving her a hug before handing her a list of some formula brands to try.

Lauren took Jayson back to Kelly and Shay's. The twins were having a blast with their aunt and uncle. Lauren got Jayson out and laid him on the floor near Kelly. "Can y'all watch him too? I need to run to the store," Lauren said.

"Of course Sis. Everything ok?" Kelly asked.

"Yea I just need to grab some things," she said with a smile not wanting to worry him. She kissed her babies and headed out.

She went through the store picking up the different brands of formula Nat had suggested to try as well as more bottles. Jayson was particular about his bottles so she made sure she got the ones like they already had at home.

Before she checked out, Jay called. "Hey babe," she answered making sure she had everything.

"Hey where are yall?" he asked looking around their apartment.

"I'm at the store and Kelly and Shay have the kids."

"Everything ok?" he asked hearing the tears in her voice.

"Yea, yea I'm ok. I'm fixing to check out and then get the kids and I'll be home. Everything go ok?" she asked holding it together because she didn't want to have a break down in the store.

"Yea. Everything is good to go. I'll cook lunch so it's ready when you get here and then we can get the kids down."

"Sounds good. I'll see you soon," she said as they hung up.

After getting out of the store, she got the kids loaded up and headed home. They'd had a full eventful morning with Kelly and Shay, but it was good for them because they hadn't seen them in a month.

Lauren managed to get all three kids and the bags from the store and get up to the apartment. It was eventful but at least the twins somewhat cooperated.

"Go find daddy," she said out of breath once she had the door unlocked.

Jayla and Jayden both took off yelling for daddy. Jay came out of the kitchen with a smile to catch them both making them giggle. Lauren smiled as she sat Jayson's carrier down to get him out before unloading the bags.

"You could've called beautiful and I would've helped," he smiled coming over to kiss her.

"It's ok, I got it," she smiled returning his kiss. She put Jayson in his swing and carried the bags to the kitchen.

"What's all this?" Jay asked seeing the different bags she had.

Lauren let out a sigh pushing them back from the edge of the counter. "I'll explain later. Can we just feed the kids?" she asked holding back the tears.

Her breasts were starting to ache, she was tired, and she felt like a total failure.

"Of course love," he said giving her a gentle kiss brushing her hair back.

He called the twins to them while she checked on Jayson who was napping. They got the twins fed and down for their afternoon naps.

Lauren curled up on the couch as Jay joined her. He gently pulled her into his lap. "Wanna talk?" he asked gently rubbing her back.

Lauren sniffed as she nuzzled his neck. "I…. I took Jayson to see Nat today because I was worried."

"And?" he asked softly.

"He hasn't gained weight and she doesn't think he's getting enough from nursing so she wants to try him on formula," she said her tears finally falling.

"Oh baby," Jay whispered holding her tight as she finally let the tears fall. "It's gonna be ok love. It will," he whispered.

"I just feel like a failure," she cried clinging to him.

"You're not Lauren. You're an amazing mother. You are," he said cradling her face between his hands wiping her tears.

"I dunno," she whispered closing her eyes.

"I know. I've watched you with our babies for the last year and a few months and you are amazing. You juggle so much but still manage to give them equal attention and love. They love you so much and you are an amazing mother."

"I love you," she whispered softly kissing him.

"And I love you Lauren. So much. You're an amazing mother and wife."

"Because of you," she finally smiled kissing him again.

"No. Because of you," he smiled.

They snuggled on the couch while the kids napped. Once the twins were up, they let them play while Lauren cooked. Jay gave Jayson his first bottle and while he wasn't sure about it at first he took it without problem.

That night after dinner and bath time and getting the kids down, Lauren asked Jay about moving.

"We're all set. My two week notice is in effect and I'm using my last two weeks of vacation for it. Then they'll pay me my sick leave and retirement."

"Oh good," she smiled tiredly. "So now we just need to tell everyone and start packing."

"Yea but we can worry with that tomorrow," Jay smiled softly kissing her neck.

"I need a shower," Lauren whimpered softly.

"You're hurting," he said as more of a statement then question but Lauren nodded anyways.

Jay laid her on the bed instead of taking her to the shower. "Trust me. I googled it," he said getting her pump. "We have to pump just enough so you don't hurt and it will dry up."

Lauren leaned over and softly kissed him. "My hero," she whispered.

"Anything for my princess," he smiled kissing her back.

After pumping just enough, they took a relaxing shower before bed. Tomorrow they would tell their family about their move.


	68. Sharing The News

The next morning Jay called Will while Lauren called Kelly asking them to come over for a family dinner that night. Once they'd confirmed Jay went out to get food to cook and boxes to start packing.

Lauren kept the kids entertained while he was gone and gave Jayson a bottle for breakfast. It seemed to be working and he seemed ok with it. She pumped just enough like Jay had read and while she was still really sore, it seemed to be helping.

Once Jay was back, he played with the twins while Jayson slept in his swing. Lauren started packing everything nonessential of the kids. They did lunch and got all three down for naps before packing more. It was going to take a few days to get everything packed.

That night Jay cooked while Lauren got the kids ready. The twins were excited to see both sets of aunts and uncles and Gracie was excited to see Jay and Lauren.

They all day down to eat and feed the kids. Once that was done, they let the kids play while they cleaned up and chatted.

"So what's up?" Will finally asked.

"Well we have some news," Lauren said looking at Jay.

"I've decided to retire early from the CPD. After that undercover gig, I just decided it was time to hang it up. I want to be around more for my family, and doing that means it's time for a new job."

"We've also decided to move to the cabin," Lauren said with a small smile.

"We want the kids to have a free space and feel safe. It's just time for us to leave the city. I'm going to get a job in Silver Lake and Lauren and the kids will have the cabin. It's always been our dream, and it finally feels like the right time," Jay finished with a smile.

Their siblings were quiet and Lauren was afraid they'd be really upset. After a minute Kelly got up and hugged her tight. "I'm so happy for you sis," he whispered. While he was going to miss having her close by, he knew this is what she'd dreamed of since meeting Jay that first time. Jay was making all of his sister's dreams come true and he couldn't be happier for her.

"Thank you Kel," she whispered hugging him back. She was definitely going to miss having Kelly close, but this is what they wanted. She was just glad he was happy for her.

"Congrats brother," Will said giving Jay a hug.

"Thanks," Jay smiled back. "Who knows maybe you'll wanna move closer at some point," he winked knowing how much Will hated always working and not spending much time with Nat and Gracie.

"Yea maybe," Will grinned.

It wasn't long and Gracie and Jayson both started fussing and the twins covered their ears yelling for mama. Lauren laughed. "Guess that's my cue to get the fussy baby down," she laughed. She gave Kelly, Shay, Will and Nat hugs before going and getting her three.

Nat got Gracie and it wasn't long and they all headed home with the promise to help do whatever was needed for the move.

Lauren got the kids bathed and Jay helped her get them down before crawling in bed them selves.

"That wasn't so bad," she smiled snuggling into him.

"Nope. I knew it wouldn't be. We have a great family babe."

"Yes we do," she agreed sleepily. It wasn't long and she was sound asleep.

The rest of the week was spent packing everything in the apartment. With three kids it wasn't easy, nor did it go as fast as it could've, but they managed. On Monday, Kelly and Shay had the day off, and Will and Nat requested off to help them move.

They loaded boxes and boxes between Lauren's SUV, Jay's truck and the other vehicles. Luckily they were able to get almost all the boxes. All of the furniture was staying with the apartment since the cabin was already liveable.

With all the help, they were able to get everything unloaded that day. Lauren and Jay were so thankful their family was being so supportive.

They spent the next week settling in and unpacking. Their siblings had returned to the city on Tuesday with the promise to return for the weekend. With Jay's help, Lauren was help to get everything unpacked and settled that week.

Jayson had adjusted to the formula better than Lauren expected and thankfully her milk had dried up and she wasno longer sore. She had an appointment next week with a new OBGYN in town to see about getting on some birth control.

With the kids now permantely occupying the bedrooms, they would have to find somewhere for everyone to stay when they came to visit, but Jay assured her it would be fine. The cabin now felt like their true home and they'd never been happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had originally planned for two more chapters, but this feels like the perfect stopping point that wraps it all up. I will be posting a sequel, the first chapter is already written. Also on my wattpad (same username) I'll be postijng a final update with pictures of the families so check that out. I'm really excited for the sequel and to share the children growing up. I hope you enjoyed this story and if so leave me a review:)


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